All I Wanna Do

"All I wanna do is get a little sleep before midnight,"
Says Tio Jaime, out of nowhere.
He hasn't had his caffeine, he says he's Jihad Jimmy.
But I'm sure it's Jim, or Jimbo or James or Fucktard.

And he's plain tired to me,
And I wonder if he's ever gonna try to go and get some sleep tonight.
We are blogging early on a Tuesday
The SHoP is open late for all you junkies.

The good people of the world are sleeping soundly in their bedrooms,
Tossing and turning, trying to find that perfect spot.

'Trose! asks him a tricky question, about file sharing.
Jihad Jimmy doesn't have a clue where to go about looking.
But there's nothing like his Emily...

---

Ahhh...what the f*ck... :) - 23
OK I saw this one right as I was about to close Safari (mac browser, blows Microsuck IE out of the water.), and dammit, she mentions physics! I can't let this slide, not even until tomorrow...

IS UP WITH ALL THESE DUMB WOMEN WHO PRETEND TO LIKE PHYSICS??? No way in hell that you're all physics majors, and therefore no way in hell that you can fully appreciate a conversation about quantum physics with a man qualified to converse about it. What? Is it trendy? Is it the new "I want a man who can make me laugh?" Or is it just some marijuana reference that I'm just not getting even though I went to goddam Berkeley?

You know what's cooler than physics? Structural engineering. No really, it is. Here, don this bra and garter set and allow me to demonstrate.

If you genuinely were into physics then you should've been waiting outside of our 7A, 7B, and 7C classes in Le Conte Hall on MWF. Or were you too busy drinking and getting high to realize that the people who you could actually have mindsex with were in real lectures with real professors? That's what I thought.

Looking for a hot 25-hour long love session...bring peanutbutter - 24
umm, I really liked this ad.

Wow, I got somewhat aroused by reading that.

You had me at Texas. And again at peanut butter.

Assless chaps? And oooh, she pops it straight up in the infield! In Blue State San Fran-fucking-cisco? Shortstop is drifting over behind the bag... Good luck finding those on a straight man. Calls off the second baseman, and reels it in to end the inning. After 3 innings of play, it's the Los Angeles Gaylords Dodgers 2, the San Francisco Giants 5.

Happy End to Singles Awareness Day!!! - 19
Oh I'm sorry, is that what we're calling it now? Well allow me to retort:

WAR IS PEACE
FREEDOM IS SLAVERY
IGNORANCE IS STRENGTH

OK, so come tomorrow, you and the rest of the Attention Whores aren't gonna be depressed anymore? If you can be this easily manipulated by the media and that evil, evil corporate America, please step away from the voting booth. You are, unbeknownst to you, destroying the democratic process with your lack of cognitive abilities. You were undecided going into the party conventions, weren't you?

Looking for smart, fun, non-materialistic guy who can make me laugh - 29
Yay, a militant vegan! Don't be fooled by her "I'm vegan and, while you don't have to be" horseshit. The only thing worse than a moral, evangelizing vegan is a self-admitted "militant non-smoker." We can easily cross-apply that which I wrote about the smoker to the vegan...

Oh, a "militant non-smoker" great. Read: selfish nazi whore-beast who will think she knows more about everything than you could ever possibly hope to know in your pathetic, ambivalent-towards smoking life

Yeah, this vegan won't start crying when you're trying to enjoy that nice, juicy steak. Wake up, man! She gives you a URL to some "meat is murder" site, she mentions her vegan-ism later in the post!

And I've been waiting for this part of her ad... she complains, parenthetically:

(Do a search for "vegan" in the personals section, and you'll always find postings from people who require that someone *not* be vegan. Ridiculous. But I digress....)

THERE! WHAT MORE PROOF DO YOU NEED, YOU CHICKENFUCKERS!!! It's Ridiculous that somebody might not share your craziness???

Gentlemen, please take note: 1) What is "Ridiculous" today is "OMG, you're such a fucking bastard I hate you, go burn in hell you prick" tomorrow, and 2) what is indignation at "people who require that someone *not* be vegan" is smug satisfaction with "people who include No Republicans on their CL ads."

Jimmy-fucius say: Rriberarr confuse about mascurrinity end up poking horre in prophirractic, and voirra! You baby-daddy now! You send chirrd support! Better you run away to Middrre America, where chinese food suck cock and barrs, but women have varrues! Good strong famirry varrues! Stay away from flied lice in Crreverrand, OH!!! Ohio! 1 2 16 18 27 30

Jihad Jimmy, Chief Defender of the Faith

ps- posting at 1am?? I gots DSL now!