Kind of a slow news day, eh?
I tried finding more about social security, what with W taking his show on the road. And nothing at entensity or ernie's house of whoop ass although he's taking submissions for his newest crop of his female readers' two friends.
So I decided to take a page from the Liberal Media and make some news of my own! Kinda like that reporter from Tennessee (?) who told that soldier to ask Rumsfeld about armored humvees just he'd have the scoop on a story. Again, bullshit my friends.
My and my friends constantly lament the dating situation in the SF Bay Area. I'm at somewhat of a disadvantage because I'm Republican, and Bay Aryans really want nothing to do with me. But aside from the psycho GOP-hating hippies out there, Bay Aryan women are nutty enough to drive me to celibacy.
Or at least drastically lowered standards.
I've saved these ads as they expire in 10 days(?), and some of the earlier (here and here) are almost pointless as the ads do not exist. Damn shame, too... Although the Tio Jaime flava is still there, you might be able to slap enough together for a nice sandwich or something...
********KINK & COMMITMENT? ******************
Well, while we here in the SHoP appreciate the pics, probably best not to post pics of you with other men. And this goes for all online dating forums. Not that the SHoP is your internet singles matchmaker.
And enough with the asterisks already. We get it. I myself like to limit my asterisk use to ten.
San Franciscans! Let me love you - 34
Another theme is Physics. This seems to piss me off, as my old roommate was a physics major at berkeley and women weren't knocking down his door. He liked Feynman too... here, read...
He must like Physics, and what would be perfect if he is as creatively naughty as Mr. Feynman; can play piano and violin. It's not necessary for him to be a prize winner. It would be enough that he can play Bach well, play Chopin smoothly.Umm, yeah. Good luck with that there, HIPPIE. Do you think that any of the fruity girlie-men you like because they're free spirited will have the cojones to major in physics? Damn liberal arts fruits.
And if Bach and Chopin get your panties wet, there's a foulmouthed, cowboy-boot wearing Republican classical pianist who would be able to service you after this post.
You're a Man's Man... Yeah Baby!! - 24
Let's ignore that Austin Powers was a retarded movie halfway through the first one. I would've made it all of the way through, but I hadn't found the wonders of alcohol until three years later.
Now... this one's big....Hey, she asked for it. And really, we're not overly rude. When we get there, ooh yeah, you'll know.
You're FUNNY! And not necessarily always in a PC nice way. Maybe you're sarcastic, mocking and making fun of others can be amusing (not in an overly rude way... but you get my point) You like funny movies, funny shows, funny people, so on and so forth...
And on a related note, why must women insist that the most important quality they look for in a guy is the ability to make her laugh? This is pure and unadulterated horseshit, skillfully designed to make women look insightful when asked inane questions like "What do you look for in a guy?" The funniest guys i know have no woman. Contrapositively, some of the best women I know are involved with unfunny men.
Do you floss daily??? - 28
Well that was fast. I'm already weirded out.
Oh and yay! She's one of those "no red staters" kinda chicks! Who doesn't go to the dentist. I dunno, I got a bad feeling about this... wish she'd written more, as this would've been gold =(
Any cool professor types out there?
WTF, if you want to date a smart professor than just come right out and say so. I realize you're a woman, but please. Show some balls next time...
African-American Female Seeking Arrangement with Professional Caucasia - 41
...like this one here!
This one is pretty simple. "You pay my bills, I spread my legs." I go to the University of Whore-lando. And I Really Like the Whole Idea of Capitalization and Long-Winded Sentences and by "Take Care of Your Needs" I Actually Mean "Have Sex with You." Wink, Wink.
For monetary consideration. Whore City!
In her defense, the SHoP appreciates her candor and honesty. HFS, she's 41?!? I just saw that! Really now, wouldn't you rather, provided that you were a quasi-altruistic man with money to throw away, engage in a "mutually benificial arrangement" with somebody, oh i don't know... UNDER 40?!?
Instead of one 41 year old, why not two 20-1/2 year olds??? Is that really too much to ask?
The stars at night are big and bright,
Jihad Jimmy, Chief Defender of the Faith
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