Two things...

First, an interesting article by a former AGW (Anthropogenic Global Warming) adherent:

I Was On the Global Warming Gravy Train

Mind you, this guy is not a climatologist by degree, but he's a computer scientist who built the actual climate models for the Australian government. Makes some interesting points...

Lastly, a wonderful example of ACLU running amok... again:

ACLU sues Boeing over CIA transfers

All I had to do was read down to the 3rd paragraph to see who would win the case. Thank God for appeals.

All that's missing is single-malted scotch and a craps table...

I know what you're all thinking. "Why didn't Tio Jaime think of this first?"



In addition to the Dodger Dog and the U$C Song Girls, Hollywood Park is one of the best things to come from Los Angeles. Include No Doubt if you want to say "to come from Southern California".

Jihad Jimmy
Chairman, SHoP Gaming Commission and House Gaming Control Board (Non-nude)

There's a difference between the immigrants of today and yesterday...

I don't seem to remember reading in history books the same thing of Irish or Chinese immigrants to this country:

American Muslims Justify Suicide Attacks and are Al Qaida Sympathizers

If you look at the numbers at the bottom of the page, they're kind of misleading. Let me make them a bit more tangible (emphasis mine):

Only 5 percent of U.S. Muslims expressed favorable views of the terrorist group al-Qaida, though about a fourth did not express an opinion.

ONLY? ONLY?? That's a pretty goddamn big number! And if you believe the bullshit about 1/4 not having an opinion? 30% of 2.35 MILLION US Muslims is larger than the city of Boston, MA. Tell me this isn't a problem.

Only 40 percent said they believe Arab men carried out the attacks of Sept. 11, 2001.

There we go with this 'only' bullshit again. The AP is stupid. Unbelievable. If you actually believe a conspiracy can be perpetrated on this type of scale, you're a fucking moron.

Just over half said it has been harder being a U.S. Muslim since the 9/11 attacks, especially the better educated, higher income, more religious and young. Nearly a third of those who flew in the past year say they underwent extra screening because they are Muslim.

Umm...everyone has undergone extra screening even if they weren't Muslim. But judging from your beliefs in this poll, I'm for anal-probing at airports for all you pro-suicide-bombing, Al-Qaida-loving pigs.

Telephone interviews were conducted with 1,050 Muslim adults from January through April, including some in Arabic, Urdu and Farsi. Subjects were chosen at random, from a separate list of households including some with Muslim-sounding names, and from Muslim households that had participated in previous surveys.

So, you're telling me it's okay for the Pew Research Center to racially profile people? Oh, it's okay because you're a liberal, "progressive" organization?? How convenient. Now, if only they'd do the logical thing at airports.

The cognitive dissonance of liberals is appalling.

oh what's the hardest part about going to UCLA/U$C/Stanfurd?

I contemplated incorporating Cal's colors into the background or even text of the table, but then it would fuck with the traditional red/blue which denotes dialogue here on the SHoP. The gold would've been too bright, so screw it. Enjoy the khaki.

Tio Jaime

defaulting to bgcolor=khaki. And pay no attention to the font color=red for my name...

ProfShewseffi (3:15:43 PM): yeah Cal requires a 1950 + ProfShewseffi (3:15:45 PM): at least now TioJ (3:15:38 PM): pigfuckers ProfShewseffi (3:16:17 PM): i guess he is as close as it gets to being a bear ProfShewseffi (3:16:25 PM): he can try to transfer after TioJ (3:16:16 PM): eh TioJ (3:16:22 PM): i imagine that he'll love UCLA TioJ (3:16:31 PM): my little brother's right... berkeley is such a dirty fucking city ProfShewseffi (3:16:50 PM): it is TioJ (3:16:42 PM): i imagine i would've loved UCLA myself ProfShewseffi (3:16:59 PM): dood ProfShewseffi (3:17:05 PM): i got a scholarship to UCLA ProfShewseffi (3:17:08 PM): and i rejected that place TioJ (3:17:06 PM): oh what's the hardest part about going to UCLA/U$C/Stanfurd? ProfShewseffi (3:17:24 PM): what TioJ (3:17:19 PM): Telling your parents you're gay. ProfShewseffi (3:17:35 PM): HHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHA

GFY Monday: Laurie David

This man-o-licious woman here to the left wrote this ridiculous forward in her craptastic book, The Down to Earth Guide to Global Warming. Why do I say craptastic when I haven't read the book? All I have to do is read the forward to understand everything I need to know. Here it is, in all its commented-upon glory:
----------
To Our Three Daughters

This looks bad already...

We hope that by the time you read this, the solutions to global warming will be well under way. You already know from living with us, how concerned we are about this problem.

I don't live with you, and already I know the ever-present crap your actions inflict upon me.

Sometimes, we go over board with our reactions to everyday annoyances like over-packaged products, leaving lights on in the room, taking too long a shower or leaving your chargers in the wall.

Leaving your chargers in the wall?

We embarrass you when we glare at hummer drivers and or get emotional when we talk about drowning polar bears. But we do this because all of the things that we love and care about are at stake. We do this because we do not want the day to come when you ask us why we did not do more.

We want you to be able to enjoy snowy winters.

Dumb Hollywood whore has lived in Pacific Palisades, CA for too long. She obviously needs to freeze her ass off in a Chicago winter. Let's see how much she enjoys a real snowy winter.

We want you to be able to cool off between your sheets on summer nights.

I seem to remember sweating my ass off on my summer nights growing up in the 80's. Come to think of it, I think my parents also told me stories of sleeping with no sheets during hot nights. WHO ON EARTH COOLS OFF IN BETWEEN THEIR SHEETS DURING THE SUMMER?!

We want you to see the leaves change colors when they're supposed to. We want you to visit Yellowstone National Park and spot a bear.

Spot a bear. Spot a bear? I fail to see the connection. I hope this bear "spots" Laurie's kid. I'd like to see her appreciate nature then.

If you get a mosquito bite, we want it to itch, not carry a deadly disease.

News flash, moron. Mosquitoes have always carried diseases in the US. Malaria was wiped out here only 5o years ago. That would seem to suggest "Climate Change" and mosquito-borne illnesses are independent events. But shit! Let's go with your theory!

We don't want your generation to be the generation that is defined by mass species extinction. We want you to live in a world where we face the truth about our problems and do everything we can to solve them. We want you to grow up to be activists.

"We want you to live in a world where we face the truth about our problems and do everything we can to solve them..."

Ahem...terrorism? In agreement, but on the wrong subject.

That's why we wrote our book, The Down-to-Earth Guide to Global Warming. It's for girls like you and yes, boys, too.

Could've said "kids", but no. Let's marginalize the male sex again today, shall we?

The more people who understand global warming, the better chance we have at bringing about change -- change as individuals and change as a country.

I understand global warming plenty...but this sounds suspiciously like you're starting an inquisition of some sort...sorta frightening.

Change means accepting the fact that the way we are living is causing huge damage to our planet. Change means that once we accept that responsibility, doing everything in our power to correct our course. Change means hope, not despair. Once you understand global warming, you understand how much you can do to solve it. Time is of the essence...lets get started.

She's beyond hope.

We love you so much,

Your mothers,
Laurie David and Cambria Gordon

----------

From her biography in Wikipedia:

Before working full time on environmental and political issues, David worked in the entertainment industry. She began her career in New York City as a talent coordinator for the David Letterman show. Four years later she left to start her own management company, representing comedians and comedy writers. She also produced several comedy specials for HBO, Showtime, MTV, and Fox Television. Upon moving to Los Angeles, David became vice president of comedy development for a division of Fox Broadcasting and developed sitcoms for Twentieth Century Television.

Which makes her an authority on the complex, often misunderstood science of climate. Sign her up for the EPA.

Death to the Great Satan, oh yah you betcha!

Got this from OTW Mark...

Cabbies on edge as penalties begin

Interesting. Their interpretation of ISLAM is so RADICAL (and gnarly, and bodacious, and awesome, and any other superlative from the Reagan Administration of your choosing) that it seeks to disrupt the American Way of Life there in the heartland. Nevermind that "Islam prohibits the consumption of alcohol but not its transportation", oh no no no. Gotta test the waters. Gotta have a couple of dry runs to see exactly just what you can get away with. Gotta see just how far backwards the American Anti-Semitic Left will bend over to accomodate you so you can catch us off guard.

This is of particular interest to your favorite SHoP Overlord Tio Jaime as I am likely leaving the land of Blue State Fuck-ups for Minneapolis before the pennant race heats up. If the Foxtrot-India-Alpha-November-Charlie-Echo-Echo had her way, I'd be there before the All-Star Break.

(Which takes place this year, ironically enough, a mere twenty minutes away from Fort Tio Jaime.)

The conflict seems to be as such: Muslims like living in America. (Allah knows why. They seem to hate the Great Satan and all that she stands for.) Non-muslims in America want nothing more than to co-exist with all the diversity around them. These two seem to be mutually exclusive, what with Muslims not wanting to scan frozen pizzas with pepperoni at target, or drive you home from MSP if you have wine. And all of us normal, non-jihad-o-licious Americans just want to get rung up or driven home.

So here's my solution. And this should work wonders, what with Muslims free to exercise their peaceful religion without inconveniencing Little Sally Housefrau, and Joe American not having to worry about trying to scan his own bacon...

Require all Muslims who fear encroachment upon their religion to wear a Star and Crescent on their clothing

This way, let's say I'm making my way up to the cash registers at the Super Target with those Ham and Cheese Hot Pockets (which supposedly I love so very much). I see a cashier in full burka with a Star and Crescent sewn in right below her nametag-- Hagar.

Whoops. Let's not go to her completely empty checkstand, and let's go to the one right next to hers. Oh wait, another muslim cashier? But this one seems not to be perturbed by the idea of ringing up my hot pockets. Oh, and I have coupons.

Did you follow that? See, instead of going all hitler-tastic on you and requiring all Muslims to wear the Star and Crescent... I'm only recommending it for those who want to make a big stink about the Religious aspects of interacting with infidels such as myself.

Oh, and Muslims everywhere? They support the DH. Every single one of them. WTF. How would they feel if the 72 virgins actually turned out to be 64 virgins with whom you got to have unbridled sex and commit crime-against-nature acts in the afterlife... and 8 who only gave you incomplete handjobs leaving you to finish yourself off while looking at a completely different set of 8?

I'm gonna stand by that analogy. Divide by 8 and you'll see what I'm trying to say.

Jihad Jimmy
Commissioner, SHoP Department of Recreational Sport (Non-nude)

Shall we play a game?

Which presents the greatest threat to you?

Carbon Dioxide

Di-hydrogen Monoxide

Or Terrorism?

Talk amongst yourselves.

Update: For an interesting read, take a look at the opinion of MIT's (in)famous climatologist, Professor Lindzen. Global Warming faith-healers need not bother. Your confirmation bias is way too evident.

The Blue State Frontier can go suck a Big One

I got a gyro last Fri-dee. Even though I'm a "sick racist piece of souless (sic) shit." (check out the comments there! I thought we had lost that comment forever!)

So while I was picking up said gyro, I ran into Critical Mass, who I thought stuck to San Francisco and Berkeley. After all, people in Oakland have a tendency to be black and armed. I'd imagine that they wouldn't take too kindly to stinky, dirty, scruffy white hippies blocking their way to see the Warriors. Especially not this year, I suppose.

Degenerates, now in two-wheel form!

One of them tried to greet me. I called her a degenerate. Another spewed some tired line about global warming right at me. I pantomimed jacking-off for him and all the casual pantywaist liberals to see. He said, "Fuck you!" I called him a jagoff.

Then I got my gyro. It was fucking awesome.

Ain't the Blue State Frontier great? And I'm not even surrounded by the mainstream Blue State Fuck-ups like you're expecting. No no, none of this Hillary or Obama schlock here... out here we got bona fide Kucinch retards. And every once in a while, a LaRouche nerd. Don't worry about me, worry about these deluded Blue State Fuck-ups and the votes they'll cast. But just wait it out, since their dogs don't vote, but your children do.

There's more than one way to piss off your Blue State Fuck-up neighbors. One way is to tear off their stickers because some other Blue State Fuck-ups tore off a SHoP Overlady's sticker a long time ago.

Here's another one...

Ha ha, fuck you Blue America!

I hope that I angered a liberal or two who was checking to see if her latest copy of The New Yorker had arrived. Because lookee here! An assault rifle in its place! Too bad that the rifle represents the wrong tenth of the Bill of Rights. Fuck, with campaign finance reform, they can't even get the one tenth they want right anyway.

I saw a Blue State Fuck-up's bumper sticker this morning on I-80. It said, "Protect the Bill of Rights - Impeach Bush". This doesn't seem to make sense given what we know about the anti-semitic American Left...

1) I don't think modern liberals understand the correct application of Freedom of Speech, seeing as to how they seem to misuse the word "censorship" way too often. Also, "Congress shall make no law respecting an establishment of religion" doesn't exactly translate to "Separation of Church and State".
2) I know they don't like the Right to Bear Arms.
3) I'm not really worried that they'll force quartering of troops on us, since they'll end up gutting the military anyway once these Blue State Fuck-ups let them.
4) I've heard many a liberal pull some "Right to Privacy" out of his ass. And oh yes, I could tell that he treated that "right" as a proper noun. Note the capitals.
5) I don't think it's us wingnuts which are into that the whole eminent domain thing.
6) Again, combatant POWs really shouldn't be afforded the same rights that are afforded regular, red-blooded American criminals.
7) I'd imagine that Leftists ain't too crazy about jury nullification. Running out of steam here...
8) It says cruel and unusual punishment, right? So cruel or unusual should be just fine...
9) OK. If health care is a right, shouldn't I have the right to say, oh i dunno, choose my own method of health care? Instead of having some socialized government piece of shit forced upon me... Or does the Right to Choose end once my mom chose not to abort me?
10) I was afraid of this one. Here's where my engineering prowess defers to somebody like OTW Mark or MwHCock. I don't know what the Tenth Amendment says that the Ninth doesn't. Or rather, vice versa, as I'm a huge States' Rights dude.

The Bottom Line: You want to protect the Bill of Rights? Don't let the Degenerocrats appoint their shitty judges.

Jihad Jimmy, Minister of War Crimes and Chief Defender of the Faith

Solution to Global Warming

Here's a winner:
Children Bad for Planet

Retards.

Or, maybe, just hold your breath until you pass out, hippie.

Gratuitous Gisele Bündchen-- not that you're complaining, or anything

PREVIOUSLY ON THE SHoP...

Gratuitous Lingerie Models-- not that you're complaining, or anything

THE FOLLOWING TAKES PLACE BETWEEN 1:00 PM AND 2:00 PM.

EVENTS OCCUR IN REAL TIME.

---

I saw the article below, and thought of the post title in the recaps. Then I realized, "Shit, I used that title already."

Gisele and Victoria's Secret have split

No worries, because now this gives me a chance to push another platform on the SHoP Overlord Tio Jaime Agenda-- Apple Computer!



Tio Jaime, I can hear you asking, what's more important, some supermodel who's not Alessandra Ambrosio, or your computing platform?

And really that's not fair. Why would you make me choose? Although, not that the two are mutually exclusive I suppose.

And what's that, you say, Citizen SHoPper? This post seems kinda half-baked and half-assed? Well yes. A post entitled "gratuitous gisele bundchen" and liberally sprinkled with victoria's secret models shouldn't really be held to the normal intelligent standards which other SHoP posts are. It's surprising how much of a shitty post can be carried by Brazilian chicks in their underwears.

Jihad Jimmy, Minister of War Crimes and Chief Defender of the Faith