It's the Halloween, Stupid!

Almost forgot to post this...

My JohnKerryLies O'Lantern!!!

Easy to follow instructions here!!!

Happy Halloween, Citizen SHoPpers!

Love always,
Your SHoP Overlords and one SHoP Overlady

Samuel Alito: Always a good decision

I couldn't resist making a photoshop of this. Needless to say, with the news that Alito is a strict constructionist, I'm very happy with Bush's nominee.

Update 1: Looks like our [sarcasm]favorite[/sarcasm] California Senator had her few words already:

"I believe this nomination is aimed at appeasing the most right-wing elements of the president's political base," said Sen. Barbara Boxer.

Wrong, Bar, you filthy, dirty turd. The last nomination was proof that Bush didn't care about his political base...unless you're a conspiracy theorist. I think this nomination is more of a kick in the nads to the president's opposition...and I couldn't be happier.

Also following the story (and to spread the photoshopped label):
Wizbang
Blogs For Bush
Michelle Malkin
MVRWC
Six Meat Buffet

Those who live by the Civil Disobedience shall perish by the Civil Disobedience

This (http://www.bapd.org/notices.html)

plus this (http://cgi.ebay.com/WHOLESALE-LOT-4O-...)

is gonna make one helluva SHoP post. Stay tuned. I'm gonna try to free up some time around 06 November - 09 November to go see a new author. Maybe even more than once.

In the meantime, keep an eye on zombietime for what promises to be a bountiful harvest of Little Brains on Wednesday 02 November with a big protest planned for San Francisco. I'd go myself and partake in some Crazy-Aunt-Cindy-Sheehan-recommended counter-civil-disobedience, but unlike these Degenerates, I have to be at work in the middle of the day on a Wednesday. Who'da thunk.

(and speaking of zombietime, check out this here, which I found courtesy of Beth. Thanks for the link, first, and second, what is it with Air Force chicks named Beth? Long story best saved for another time...)

Plausibly Deniably Yours,
Jihad Jimmy, Minister of War Crimes and Chief Defender of the Faith

Most glorious, drunken Greetings on a Satur-dee Night with Tio Jaime!, or Enough of Rosa Fucking Parks already...

PREVIOUSLY ON THE SHoP...

The Week Ahead with Tio Jaime

THE FOLLOWING TAKES PLACE BETWEEN 9:00 PM AND 2:00 AM.

EVENTS OCCUR IN REAL TIME.

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Was only gonna post a funny exchange between myself and Trosama min Asi tonight about one of the girls at the Zoo...

Not AIM chat. Actual real-life conversation from tonight!
Tio Jaime: Was Ivy always that ugly, or did she get uglier? Trosama min Asi: She was always that ugly, you just started drinking less.

...but then I found all the Firefox windows open to the Rosa Parks articles I was reading before dinner on account of this story...

Hundreds line up at church to view Rosa Parks

And now they're gonna let her lie in state at the Capitol Rotunda. Oh that's just fucking wonderful.

SHE. DIDN'T. FUCKING. DO. ANYTHING.

Do your homework. She wasn't the only black woman in these our wonderful United States who refused to give up her precious seat on a shitty bus to whitey. But holy shit, somehow she's a pio-fucking-neer.

You want a real black hero? We got one sitting in our Supreme Court. But shit, he's an Uncle Tom, he's a house n!gg3r. Right? He wasn't keeping it real, right? He talks white and he dresses white and he probably even walks white too, huh. Yeah he'd make a terrible fucking role model for those 2/3 of black children born out of wedlock, wouldn't he? You shouldn't encourage your children to get law degrees and become lawyers and judges when holy fuck he needs to work on his jump shot so he can get a basketball scholarship and GTFO of the ghetto and go to the NBA.

Yeah screw that Clarence Thomas guy. The real issue is that the white man is making NBA players not dress like a bunch of street thugs. [whiny_bitch_democrat] That's racism! [/whiny_bitch_democrat]

Don't mind me, Citizen SHoPpers. I'm drunk, I'm pissed off, and I just wanna use my shotgun liberally on some Covenant and Flood on my xB0x0r.

Although I seem to be strangely lucid and politically erect whenever I drink and post. I'm too lazy to find the post, but I think it's one of SixH's weekend posts in october where I commented some pretty intelligent stuff whilst drunky-drunky. Maybe another SHoP Overlord will try to find it. Shouldn't be too hard. Try the posts in the dashboard that don't say Tio Jaime.

Anyway, yeah... Rosa Parks? Letting her lie in state at the same place where President Reagan laid in state is like giving JFK Jr. a military burial at sea. Except without the abuse of our naval resources by a bunch of criminal Democruds.

And Ivy? Ooh, very ugly. Nice body, except for the hideous, new fake tits. Check out Ariel instead if you like skinny blondes with good stage shows. At the very least, her new fake tits look good.

Enjoy the remainder of the weekend,
Jihad Jimmy, Minister of War Crimes and Chief Defender of the Faith

Make up your Effing mind already...

So first you wanna go kill Jews, and now you say you didn't really mean it. Since when did Iran become a fussy woman who couldn't make up her mind about where she wants to go for dinner?

http://news.yahoo.com/s/nm/20051029/wl_nm/iran_israel_dc

Maybe the entire country of Iran is a smithanticker. Seems to have as much cognitive ability.

Oooh, that was kind of low. My apologies, Iran.

SHoP Non Sequitor

Hey Sulu, the CHP called...

Finished Halo late last night. Goddamit! What an ending! All you little shits out there (err, little shits and MwHCock) who elected to forego the Campaign for the Multiplayer-- I feel sorry for you. You have no idea what you're missing. And past those people? Those who don't know who Leela and Durandal and Tycho are? You poor, poor bastards...

Gonna go play Grand Theft Auto: San Andreas now. Was on sale for $29.99 at Fry's earlier this week.

I'd also like to point out the rare four SHoP posts in a row w/o your Tio Jaime... cool shit huh?

Jihad Jimmy, Minister of War Crimes and Chief Defender of the Faith

What. Like you were surprised?

In all seriousness, this doesn't bother me. However, I wonder how many people out there would be bothered with a site like this one on the web.

Three simple words: I am gay.

...in which I get pwned!!1one

THE FOLLOWING TAKES PLACE BETWEEN 10:00 PM AND 11:00 PM.

EVENTS OCCUR IN REAL TIME.

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got filch?

This blog is worth $189,685.44.
How much is your blog worth?

Any suckers takers?

Guess whose blog gets only a measley $2,822.70?

All-Woman C-130 Crew

Now here's a shot of an all-woman C-130 crew. I don't know 'bout you, but this is strangely compelling to me. Oh sure, there's the mystery of a military chick, with a firearm strapped to her thigh, who could kick my ass across the room and back again -- perhaps that's part of it. Or maybe it's the simple evidence that the world is changing, things are not what they were 40-50 years ago or even 10 years ago, for that matter. Alls I can say is, Lockheed planes that are (wo)manned by the opposite sex totally r0x0r! 1337 h@x0rz!!!11one

Who the Eff are you?

Read this on my yahoo! news headlines...

Pull 20,000 US troops from Iraq in Dec: Kerry

Who are you again? Kerry John? Huh?

Ohhhhh! I remember you now! Damn, I didn't think you were still out and about. Thought after your trial you went to live in Dubai or something. No? Am I thinking of a different guy?

Oh wait. You're the guy who I see on all the stupid bumper stickers everywhere huh. Yeah, that's right. How'd that election turn out for you?

excerpt from Pull 20,000 US troops from Iraq in Dec: Kerry
United States should pull 20,000 troops from Iraq after parliamentary elections there in December, a leading Senate Democrat said on Wednesday, arguing that it would weaken support for an insurgency fueled by resentment of the U.S. presence.

Idiot. Do we really need to be present to have them resent us? Once we leave, we'll have left the biggest American footprint of them all. You don't think the terrorists and Saddam-ites will be pissed with all the extra Liberty we left in the desert there? And even if we leave now, and even if the new democracy gets squashed by violent Muslims, will they leave well enough alone? Oh fuck no, they'll be pissed that we went over there and tried to give them things like civilization. They'll want to do things like hijack our planes and fly them into buildings. Again.

Maybe, democruds, if you want things like a 20,000 troop-pullout to be more than a cutesy headline and SHoP fodder, you should consider winning presidential elections. That way you actually could pull troops out of Iraq. Too bad for you. Maybe if your party wasn't so shitty, it'd have garnered more support and managed to defeat a doofus like W.

Sucks to be you.

You still here? Gw'on now! Git! Scram! You stupid democruds can't take a hint, can you?

all my love,
Jihad Jimmy, Minister of War Crimes and Chief Defender of the Faith

Hail, Stanfurd, Hail!

PREVIOUSLY ON THE SHoP...

Golden Bear Nation!
It's the Bay Area Sports, Stupid!
It's the Stupid Stanfurd Daily, Stupid!

THE FOLLOWING TAKES PLACE BETWEEN 9:00 PM AND 10:00 PM.

EVENTS OCCUR IN REAL TIME.

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Found this article at sjmercury.com...

Stanfurd leads nation in collegiate donations

BFD. You know what else they lead the nation in? Losing to UC Davis.

Oh, the SHoP O/U for the Big Game spread is now Stanfurd +17.5

go bears,
Jihad Jimmy
Commissioner, SHoP Department of Recreational Sport (Non-nude)

that's why you don't let your little demon-children make the fucking decisions when $1,000,000 is at goddam stake

PREVIOUSLY ON THE SHoP...

Ok this show fucking sucks, this doesn't even deserve SHoP billing.
i hope your kids murder you with shotguns when they come to grips with how assholey you made them
and maybe the little gaghan fucker will die
no shit your legs aren't sore, you're fucking worthless

THE FOLLOWING TAKES PLACE BETWEEN 9:00 PM AND 10:00 PM.

EVENTS OCCUR IN REAL TIME.

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Had a little trouble with AIM in the beginning, looks like i tried to send too much too fast. Not that I remember having this trouble before. In any case, Citizen SHoPper, please to be leaving your kids at home no matter where you go.

That is all.

Jihad Jimmy, Mininster of War Crimes and Chief Defender of the Faith

3am Criticism of The Amazing Race: Retarded Family Edition New Orleans to Panama City

You are now in chat room "TARSucksWorseThanAIM." JihadJimmyMWCCDF has entered the chat room. JihadJimmyMWCCDF (8:59:20 PM): hello dere JihadJimmyMWCCDF (8:59:37 PM): that's the name you'll allow for the chat room? JihadJimmyMWCCDF (8:59:46 PM): new amazing race retard family edition JihadJimmyMWCCDF (9:00:27 PM): blah blah blah New Orleans JihadJimmyMWCCDF (9:00:34 PM): PREVIOUSLY ON THE AMAZING RACE JihadJimmyMWCCDF (9:01:08 PM): i hated that Schroeder cunt JihadJimmyMWCCDF (9:01:25 PM): FUCK YOU GAGHANS JihadJimmyMWCCDF (9:01:48 PM): no fucking crying JihadJimmyMWCCDF (9:01:53 PM): THE AMAZING RACE JihadJimmyMWCCDF (9:01:56 PM): A MAZE ING JihadJimmyMWCCDF (9:01:57 PM): AMAZING JihadJimmyMWCCDF (9:01:59 PM): A MAZE ING JihadJimmyMWCCDF (9:02:00 PM): AMAZING JihadJimmyMWCCDF (9:02:02 PM): A MAZE ING JihadJimmyMWCCDF (9:02:03 PM): AMAZING JihadJimmyMWCCDF (9:02:05 PM): A MAZE ING JihadJimmyMWCCDF (9:02:07 PM): .... JihadJimmyMWCCDF (9:02:40 PM): hey why don't you bite me? JihadJimmyMWCCDF (9:03:21 PM): i'm gonna play the theme song in the background right now then because stupid assholey AIM didn't let me do the theme song JihadJimmyMWCCDF (9:03:51 PM): A MAZE ING JihadJimmyMWCCDF (9:03:52 PM): AMAZING JihadJimmyMWCCDF (9:03:54 PM): A MAZE ING JihadJimmyMWCCDF (9:03:56 PM): AMAZING JihadJimmyMWCCDF (9:03:58 PM): A MAZE ING JihadJimmyMWCCDF (9:03:59 PM): AMAZING JihadJimmyMWCCDF (9:04:01 PM): A MAZE ING JihadJimmyMWCCDF (9:04:02 PM): .... JihadJimmyMWCCDF (9:04:04 PM): A MAZE ING JihadJimmyMWCCDF (9:04:31 PM): A MAZE ING AMAZING A MAZE ING AMAZING JihadJimmyMWCCDF (9:04:37 PM): FUCK YOU JihadJimmyMWCCDF (9:05:35 PM): This is New Orleans. The Big Easy. JihadJimmyMWCCDF (9:05:43 PM): french quarter JihadJimmyMWCCDF (9:05:45 PM): fourth pit stop JihadJimmyMWCCDF (9:05:56 PM): FUCK YOU GAGHANS JihadJimmyMWCCDF (9:06:13 PM): bransen first to arrive at 12:40pm, first to depart 12:40 am JihadJimmyMWCCDF (9:06:20 PM): fly 2000 miles to panama city, panama JihadJimmyMWCCDF (9:06:51 PM): make way 31 miles to smithsonian tropical research institute, take boat across the panama canal, find some tool scientist JihadJimmyMWCCDF (9:07:05 PM): paolo family, 2nd to depart 12:41am JihadJimmyMWCCDF (9:07:19 PM): yeah, don't hold your breath JihadJimmyMWCCDF (9:07:24 PM): linz 3rd to depart 12:49am JihadJimmyMWCCDF (9:09:11 PM): g-sisters 4th to depart 1:41am? JihadJimmyMWCCDF (9:09:14 PM): i missed the time JihadJimmyMWCCDF (9:09:32 PM): weavers 5th 1:52am? JihadJimmyMWCCDF (9:09:45 PM): FUCK YOU GAGHANS last to depart 1:54am JihadJimmyMWCCDF (9:09:55 PM): FUCK YOU CARISSA GAGHAN JihadJimmyMWCCDF (9:10:01 PM): I HATE THAT DUMB LITTLE SHIT JihadJimmyMWCCDF (9:10:18 PM): FUCK YOU GAGHANS JihadJimmyMWCCDF (9:10:25 PM): SHUT THE FUCK UP JihadJimmyMWCCDF (9:11:09 PM): families suck JihadJimmyMWCCDF (9:11:36 PM): FUCK YOU GAGHANS JihadJimmyMWCCDF (9:12:08 PM): linz, bransen, paolo flight 1 JihadJimmyMWCCDF (9:12:15 PM): g-sisters, weavers on flight 2 JihadJimmyMWCCDF (9:12:29 PM): EVIL WHORE-DEMON GAGHANS also on flight 2 JihadJimmyMWCCDF (9:12:43 PM): ha ha you little shit paolo JihadJimmyMWCCDF (9:13:18 PM): oh yay, they're doing the Amazing Race-pagnol! JihadJimmyMWCCDF (9:13:27 PM): rapido rapido JihadJimmyMWCCDF (9:14:25 PM): they flew the whole day? that sucks JihadJimmyMWCCDF (9:14:39 PM): FUCK YOU GAGHANS JihadJimmyMWCCDF (9:15:16 PM): vamanos JihadJimmyMWCCDF (9:15:45 PM): andale! JihadJimmyMWCCDF (9:15:59 PM): that's annoying, families or no JihadJimmyMWCCDF (9:16:18 PM): FUCK YOU GAGHANS JihadJimmyMWCCDF (9:16:30 PM): FUCK YOU CARISSA GAGHAN JihadJimmyMWCCDF (9:16:33 PM): YOU PIECE OF SHIT JihadJimmyMWCCDF (9:16:56 PM): WTF? JihadJimmyMWCCDF (9:17:02 PM): are they gonna pick up the shitty boats? JihadJimmyMWCCDF (9:17:11 PM): i'm working out JihadJimmyMWCCDF (9:17:16 PM): still watching JihadJimmyMWCCDF (9:21:27 PM): A Detour is a choice between two tasks JihadJimmyMWCCDF (9:21:30 PM): blah blah blah JihadJimmyMWCCDF (9:21:48 PM): Rhythm or Coos JihadJimmyMWCCDF (9:22:08 PM): get instruments or go bird watching JihadJimmyMWCCDF (9:22:18 PM): yeah rhythm JihadJimmyMWCCDF (9:22:28 PM): The only fast forward JihadJimmyMWCCDF (9:22:31 PM): why wouldn't you take it? JihadJimmyMWCCDF (9:22:43 PM): Tandem Bungee Jump JihadJimmyMWCCDF (9:23:01 PM): FUCK YOU GAGHANS JihadJimmyMWCCDF (9:23:20 PM): oh please gaghans go for the fast forward JihadJimmyMWCCDF (9:23:24 PM): for once listen to your shitty kids JihadJimmyMWCCDF (9:23:31 PM): LOL oh they fell for it!!! JihadJimmyMWCCDF (9:23:55 PM): OK i was kidding JihadJimmyMWCCDF (9:24:13 PM): that's why you don't let your little demon-children make the fucking decisions when $1,000,000 is at goddam stake JihadJimmyMWCCDF (9:25:56 PM): where'd the shitty gaghans go? JihadJimmyMWCCDF (9:26:10 PM): OH FUCK YOU GAGHANS JihadJimmyMWCCDF (9:26:15 PM): how'd they get second? JihadJimmyMWCCDF (9:27:20 PM): SHUT THE FUCK UP YOU STUPID GAGHANS JihadJimmyMWCCDF (9:28:43 PM): oh shit, they're gonna bet the shitty paolos JihadJimmyMWCCDF (9:28:57 PM): but not before face-planting on the van JihadJimmyMWCCDF (9:29:04 PM): just do it you shitty paolos JihadJimmyMWCCDF (9:29:20 PM): FOR FUCK'S SAKE BEAT THE SHITTY GAGHANS FOR ONCE IN YOUR WORTHLESS LIVES JihadJimmyMWCCDF (9:30:03 PM): ha ha ha you're gonna fucking LOSE gaghans!!! JihadJimmyMWCCDF (9:30:42 PM): don't listen to your fucking kids JihadJimmyMWCCDF (9:30:48 PM): oh you'll do it you goddam nancy pants JihadJimmyMWCCDF (9:37:32 PM): oh the gaghans are FUCKED JihadJimmyMWCCDF (9:38:26 PM): paolo family team #1 JihadJimmyMWCCDF (9:38:33 PM): trip for four to panama JihadJimmyMWCCDF (9:41:58 PM): FUCK YOU LITTLE GAGHAN JihadJimmyMWCCDF (9:42:08 PM): a roadblock is a task that only one person can perform JihadJimmyMWCCDF (9:42:22 PM): what happened to the two-person roadblocks? JihadJimmyMWCCDF (9:46:18 PM): you fucking gaghan pieces of shit JihadJimmyMWCCDF (9:52:27 PM): weavers team #2 JihadJimmyMWCCDF (9:54:13 PM): bransens team #3 JihadJimmyMWCCDF (9:54:15 PM): linz team #4 JihadJimmyMWCCDF (9:55:07 PM): FUCK YOU GAGHANS team #5 JihadJimmyMWCCDF (9:55:25 PM): g-sisters last team to arrive JihadJimmyMWCCDF (9:55:29 PM): he fucked it up JihadJimmyMWCCDF (9:55:33 PM): non elimination leg JihadJimmyMWCCDF (9:55:46 PM): take all their money JihadJimmyMWCCDF (9:55:53 PM): no money next time JihadJimmyMWCCDF (9:56:17 PM): nice job w/the clothes JihadJimmyMWCCDF (9:56:49 PM): Stay chuned for scenes from our next episode JihadJimmyMWCCDF (9:59:22 PM): on the next episode JihadJimmyMWCCDF (9:59:33 PM): of The Amazing Race: shitty edition JihadJimmyMWCCDF (9:59:41 PM): weavers get stuck in the grass JihadJimmyMWCCDF (9:59:46 PM): what a puke fest JihadJimmyMWCCDF has left the chat room.

Bell Nation, Part II

PREVIOUSLY ON THE SHoP...
Bell Nation

THE FOLLOWING TAKES PLACE BETWEEN 8:00 PM AND 9:00 PM.

EVENTS OCCUR IN REAL TIME.

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Just when I thought Saint Francis couldn't get any gayer...

this is the most faggoty thing i've ever seen in my entire life

8:09 PM JihadJeffrey: dude, look at this JihadJeffrey: http://home.comcast.net/~crazed411/Bells_Be_Scurred.wmv JihadJeffrey: it's some dumb video that some sfhs dudes made 8:10 PM JihadJimmyMWCCDF: thanks you just crashed my firefox 8:15 PM JihadJeffrey: oh, well JihadJeffrey: asklkdf JihadJeffrey: whatever JihadJimmyMWCCDF: this looks gay JihadJeffrey: yeah JihadJeffrey: cuz sfhs made it JihadJimmyMWCCDF: great. white rappers from mountain view? JihadJimmyMWCCDF: wow. this is hardcore JihadJimmyMWCCDF: this is the most faggoty thing i've ever seen in my entire life JihadJimmyMWCCDF: this is worse than the vietnamese rapper video JihadJimmyMWCCDF: and those trucks are shit JihadJeffrey: yeah JihadJimmyMWCCDF: you guys better find those two fuckers and hate crime them JihadJeffrey: yeah

OK looks like the vietnamese rapper video is a dead link. But look for a video entitled "You Got Beef" for some krazy vietnamese gang action! If I can find it for you, i'll update with a link... but don't hold your collective Citizen SHoPper breath. Looks kinda bleak

Jihad Jimmy, Minister of War Crimes and Chief Defender of the Faith

[update time="2309" reason="Damn, I'm good]
You Got Beef?

Here ya go. Don't ever say your Tio Jaime never did anything for you. And all I ask in return is that you e-mail a permalink of this post to your Vietnamese friend(s). As soon as you get your maniacal laughter under control.
[/update]

And you all wonder why Tio Jaime complains about Bay Aryan single women?

PREVIOUSLY ON THE SHoP...
Flighty San Francisco Women, or How I Learned to Stop Worrying and Love M---- whoa whoa whoa, hold on there...
Three Simple Words: I AM GAY
UPDATE: Retarded Craigslist Golddigger!
No problemo.
Hi! We're San Franciscans! We're tolerant of homosexuality, bestiality, necrophelia, white-bashing, man-bashing, and Catholic-bashing!
Yay for lonely and socially retarded San Franciscans!
All I Wanna Do
Hi! I have no discernable male genitalia!
uber-post

THE FOLLOWING TAKES PLACE BETWEEN 11:00 AM AND 12:00 PM.

EVENTS OCCUR IN REAL TIME.

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This chick is annoying.

At least when I go out with Grace-look-alikes, it makes the evening interesting. Not once did I want to run over Greta. Do you see what normal chicks are like here in and around the bay area? Do you see why it's imperative that SixH find me a nice woman who still has her USAF uniform?

Excerpt from CL post (mirrored here)
a little about what i've been thinking about recently:

OK. That right there should send up warning flags all over the place. Keep going. It only gets better.

Excerpt from CL post (mirrored here)

i've had an interesting couple of weeks. i've discovered that my personality is a societal construct. in other words, that my personality is a phenomenon, as opposed to a noumenon. this has been quite interesting for me, as such, to be thinking about, especially in regards to how it relates to what i understand of the theory of relativity, which is, naturally, a phenomenon. if i am not my personality inhabiting my body, then what am i? well, it gets interesting, and while i'd love to explain here, i know from past personal experience that if i do so, this posting will probably get flagged and removed. so if you'd like to know more, perhaps you should email me about it and hopefully i will be able to make time to reply.

God, you are one annoying chick.

And WTF does this next line mean?

Excerpt from CL post (mirrored here)

when i choose, whether consciously or out of habitual default, to inhabit my personality, i am, among other things: available - i do not have a boyfriend, significant other, husband, lover, etc. i enjoy being single--i have a lot of time for myself, my art, my school, and my friends--yet am ready to commit to a fabulous, healthy relationship with someone awesome. (i have to say here, i am particularly pleased to have used em dashes here. i don't usually use them in my writing, and i am going to start sprinkling them in, as of now.) intelligent - i enjoy conversing about many interesting topics, asking questions when someone else knows more about something than i do, answering questions if it's the other way around, and such. i do not rely upon television show/advertisement content as topics of conversation. i love to learn and i love to read and i love to think about things in new and different ways Blah blah blah, blah blah blah blah blah? Blah blah blah blah blah blah blah, blah, blah blah blah blah blah! Blah-- blah blah blah blah blah-- blah blah blah blah blah. Blah. Blah blah blah blah blah... Blah, blah blah blah blah blah. Blah blah blah, blah blah blah, blah blah blah blah!

Unfortunately, this chick blathers on for another 10 mins or so. I read about 5 lines before i realized, "ooh, i can post this on the SHoP!"

Tio J

The Week Ahead with Tio Jaime

Gonna move Thurs-dee Festivities ahead one day to Wednes-dee. No, it's not a Daylight Savings Time thing. If i counted correctly, OVER * THERE isn't on this week...

Hmm. I don't think I counted correctly. I'll set the VCR after this post...

Anyway, keeping Thurs-dee open as Erin-friend was OK w/Wednes-dee...

you don't feel weird watching football today, what with us winning?

9:19 PM TioJ: have date on wednes-dee... she's not [CENSORED] or a stripper TioJ: this is weird TioJ: kinda like cal football 9:20 PM MwHCock: 'splain it to me TioJ: "kinda like how cal football today is weird for us Holmoe-sexuals" MwHCock: explain TioJ: you don't feel weird watching football today, what with us winning? MwHCock: it's wierd, but I like MwHCock: explain about the girl MwHCock: not why it's wierd MwHCock: just who is she, etc TioJ: oh TioJ: friend of erin's that was sitting across the aisle from us TioJ: AOII TioJ: AOii TioJ: ? MwHCock: AOπ TioJ: i don't have a pi 9:25 PM MwHCock: option-p TioJ: AOπ TioJ: well there you go TioJ: we'll see how this translates to the SHoP MwHCock: π is the symbol for plaintif they use in lawschool MwHCock: so i would type it in my notes MwHCock: ∆ for defenant MwHCock: defendant TioJ: whoa TioJ: that's cool, man MwHCock: K for contract TioJ: J for "strip club regular"? MwHCock: no idea MwHCock: but I'll try and start that TioJ: oh yesh

And now sometime-SHoPper Trosama min Asi is chatting w/me...

she had a quiet dignity that manifested itself in becoming a reluctant heroine

JihadJimmyMWCCDF: HELLO DERE T-Rex: Here's one for your blog T-Rex: guess who died today JihadJimmyMWCCDF: rosa parks? T-Rex: yup T-Rex: the civil rights leader JihadJimmyMWCCDF: really, WTF did she do? JihadJimmyMWCCDF: was she really a leader? T-Rex: as dubbed by the news T-Rex: No T-Rex: She refused to get out of her seat on a bus JihadJimmyMWCCDF: yeah, BFD. I could've done that T-Rex: Staying seated does not a leader make T-Rex: Being lazy and not wanting to moves does a [RACIAL INVECTIVE] make T-Rex: Being lazy and not wanting to move does a [RACIAL INVECTIVE] make JihadJimmyMWCCDF: OK good... i was hoping I wasn't the only one who thought something was fishy about rosa parks JihadJimmyMWCCDF: thought you said "moves" on purpose JihadJimmyMWCCDF: for ebonical effect T-Rex: no that was an honest mistake T-Rex: i hate it when I make mistakes bof times T-Rex: Oh now she changed the course of history T-Rex: she gave millions a voice JihadJimmyMWCCDF: did you really mean "bof times?" T-Rex: I am transcribing the news T-Rex: no i did not really mean bf times thats what they say T-Rex: She was sick and tired of people telling her to go to the back of the bus JihadJimmyMWCCDF: no i know they say that.... i wasn't sure if you wre mockign them and shit JihadJimmyMWCCDF: dude whatever the fuck ever JihadJimmyMWCCDF: she was't some *revolutionary* T-Rex: Oh she fought for civil rights JihadJimmyMWCCDF: dude, whatever! IT FELL IN HER LAP T-Rex: she had a quiet dignity that manifested itself in becoming a reluctant heroine T-Rex: I hope you are saving this chat, JihadJimmyMWCCDF: don't you know it JihadJimmyMWCCDF: i'm prepping it right now JihadJimmyMWCCDF: how're you otherwise? T-Rex: [CENSORED] JihadJimmyMWCCDF: [CENSORED] JihadJimmyMWCCDF: [CENSORED] T-Rex: [CENSORED] JihadJimmyMWCCDF: [CENSORED] T-Rex: [CENSORED] JihadJimmyMWCCDF: [CENSORED] JihadJimmyMWCCDF: [CENSORED] JihadJimmyMWCCDF: what else are they saying about rosa parks? T-Rex wants to send file C:\Documents and Settings\User\Desktop\14-1.jpg. JihadJimmyMWCCDF received C:\Documents and Settings\User\Desktop\14-1.jpg. T-Rex: its done T-Rex: check out the picture JihadJimmyMWCCDF: ooh who's that? JihadJimmyMWCCDF: wait T-Rex: I think you know JihadJimmyMWCCDF: i think i do know JihadJimmyMWCCDF: you know, she already made the SHoP... T-Rex: really picture or text JihadJimmyMWCCDF: picture... JihadJimmyMWCCDF: lemme find the link JihadJimmyMWCCDF: http://sixhertz.blogspot.com/2005/07/commemoration-of-sixhs-b-day-in-las.html T-Rex: i remember that T-Rex: She is coming in January JihadJimmyMWCCDF: good deal JihadJimmyMWCCDF: i'm logging off... i'll call you in a few minutes JihadJimmyMWCCDF: oh fuck me, i just lost all of the chat JihadJimmyMWCCDF: can you copy-paste it into an e-mail for me? JihadJimmyMWCCDF: switch to names and text first if you could...

Turns out that T-Rex isn't using iChat since he's on the PC from work. So no timestamp whatsoever. You'll get over it...

Jihad Jimmy, Minister of War Crimes and Chief Defender of the Faith

The greatest comic strip of all time...

I grew up with Calvin and Hobbes and always wondered where Calvin's hometown was. My question has been answered. Bill Watterson, come back! We need you!

Sent down to the Single-A Club...

Have sent these shows down to Tio Jaime: Aleph One because 1) they've been sucking hard lately, and 2) wanted to keep other SHoP posts closer to the top...

I don't know if they'll return. Not at this rate, as of right now. And The Amazing Race is on pace to join them. Only time will tell. And no, this isn't capitulation to you SHoPpers (Citizens and Overlord and Overlady alike) who aren't smart/fortunate enough to grasp fully the idea of the 3am Criticism.

It's not Liveblogging. That's looking at your watch and writing out your own stupid timestamps. Ooh, nice job taking advantage of the whole realtime aspect.

Jihad Jimmy, Minister of War Crimes and Chief Defender of the Faith

BUTTERFACE! & but the Apprentice? what a pile of shit & well fuck, I'd be embarassed to be Iraqi too
so you're saying that dr. ellen is mulatto? & hey, that was a mariners jacket!

SHoP exclusive!!! Crazy Aunt Cindy Sheehan is an Out-of-touch Peacenik Cow!

"You don't create peace by killing and violence, you create it by more peace."
"[Iraq] was no threat to us."

And I just barely want to pull out the oft-used ProtestWarrior line about facism and naziism and slavery and communism. It's a good line, but I don't think these Leftists are smart enough to realize we're taking jabs at them.

Pulled those two gems above from KGO-TV's 11pm news broadcast, which talks about Cindy Sheehan's latest mind vomit from San Rafael, CA (about 30 mins away from Fort Tio Jaime). Only in the Bay Area does this cunt get such a generous amount of airtime.

Also, the crazy cow has vowed to chain herself to the White House after the 2,000th American KIA. She called for non-violent, civil disobedience to mark this milestone.

You fucking cow. Be careful what you ask for. Because you're gonna fucking get it.

Cordially,
Jihad Jimmy, Minister of War Crimes and Chief Defender of the Faith

Satur-dee Chat, featuring your favorite SHoP Overlords SixHertz and Tio Jaime!

Happy Satur-dee, Citizens! I was watching Friday Night Lights (which is rapidly becoming my new favorite movie) when I realized I could put on the U$C-UW game and turn on the iChat... gonna shower up now, get some lunch. Cal-WSU in berkeley later tonight for the late game.

hope that's alright...
1:19 PM TioJ: hey, i issued another Jihad TioJ: hope that's alright... SixH: on St. Francis High School, I see. TioJ: fuck st. francis TioJ: but no 1:20 PM TioJ: the post right before that SixH: oh, that's perfectly alright. TioJ: OK good deal

Watching the $C-UW game right now... Another commercial for U$C. Ooh, you had George Lucas. BFD.

God I hate U$C. Although it's now an appropriate time to say hello to a grade school friend of SixH's and mine who went to Bellarmine Prep w/me and eventually ended up at U$C. Hello to sometimes-SHoPper Sabi V. He's in my Friendster list, SixH, go drop him a line.

it's patriaaaahhhtic to make your country lose a war.

TioJ: did you see those shitty stickers? TioJ: how annoying SixH: Yeah, that "Conservatives Hate America" bullshit? TioJ: WTF? that makes no sense SixH: Makes me wanna poop all over Cindy Sheehan TioJ: since when have conservatives been the ones whose patriotism has been questioned? TioJ: if anything, we're over-patriotic TioJ: if such a thing is physically possible SixH: oh, but it's patri-ahhhtic to criticize our government. SixH: as Michael Savage would say. TioJ: LOL i can hear him saying that... TioJ: absofuckinglutely right TioJ: i'm hungry, gonna shower up, get some lunch SixH: it's patriaaaahhhtic to make your country lose a war. SixH: yet say you support your troops TioJ: i fucking hate these peacniks TioJ: i'm gonna spit tobacco juice in her face if i ever run into cindy sheehan... she's in berkeley now TioJ: WTF TioJ: hell, i'll even chew on a weekday if i see her TioJ: just so i can spit in her face SixH: I'm so goddam tired of liberals. 1:25 PM TioJ: that'd sooo be worth going to jail TioJ: think of how much SHoP traffic my incarceration could generate SixH: oh, man, that'd get you a book deal. SixH: You should do it.

Since you wacky wackies out there don't listen to your Tio Jaime sometimes (most of the time?), I'm gonna point you towards a good recurring segment courtesy of Citizen SHoPper and MuNuvian Mark N. Titles say it all.

Cindy Sheehan is Officially Nuts
Cindy Sheehan is Officially Nuts II
Cindy Sheehan is Officially Nuts III

And I hope this is yet another compelling argument for listening to your Tio J. Burn in Hell, Crazy Aunt Cindy...

And this book of which SixH speaks? It would be either the greatest book ever known to mankind which you still wouldn't be able to let your kids read, or more likely, it would lick shit-ass because I'm just some simple engineer who likes to use Don and Mike humor. And that only lasts so long.

On a related note, me and buddy Trosama min Asi hope to have the "Jimmy and 'Trose! Show" podcast running soon. Still in the works, and still quite a ways away, but keep your eyes and ears peeled.

[wets self]

SixH: Yesterday, I saw a sticker that had Bush's face on it, and the text "Pants on Fire" SixH: Made me want to slash the tires on the car and leave a note that said, "I didn't do it". TioJ: or, "Slashing your tires is patriotic. Sort of." SixH: !! :P SixH: or you can just be gay and leave a sign on a freeway overpass then blog about it. TioJ: LOL SixH: pussies. TioJ: "oh freeway blogging is so great! it feels so wonderful! you gotta try it for yourself!" TioJ: [wets self] 1:30 PM TioJ: shit, you gonna make me go to shitasslicks now and find that stupid post? TioJ: damn you SixH: HA!

It was a nice surgical strike: easy in, command-F to search for "capt" on the front page, one click to the archives, command-F to find the word "capt", right-click to Copy the Link, exfiltration. It took me longer to write out that play-by-play than it did to find the shitasslicks permalink. Damn, I'm good.

Origins of "shitasslicks" here. Was a variation on Citizen SHoPper Mark N's pet-name of "shitantics". You shitasslickers confused again? OK, Mark N went from "smithantics" to "shitantics" and Tio J went from "smithantics" to "smithasslicks" and we kinda put the two together to get "shitasslicks".

Holy fuck, do you realize how unfunny these things become because I have to take the time to explain them to you degenerates? I hope for the sake of you Citizen SHoPper Loyalists out there that it's taking somewhat of a "For those of you in Rio Linda..." tone.

And wouldn't it be funny if it turned out that shitasslicks wasn't exactly from the Sac, but was instead raging unintelligibly from lovely Rio Linda...

please let me know ASAP so i'm not trying to defend shitasslicks here on our beloved SHoP

TioJ: I FUCKING HATE THAT RETARD "BLOG OF RAGE" SixH: What kind of dicklicker uses tinyurl? TioJ: actually, that's his one redeeming quality TioJ: weren't you using that shit for a while? SixH: to see what the big deal was. TioJ: ahh TioJ: it seemed kinda useful.... was that not the case? TioJ: please let me know ASAP so i'm not trying to defend shitasslicks here on our beloved SHoP SixH: I just determined it was a method of hiding the true nature of the url. 1:35 PM SixH: so, if one were to make a link to that kos website, I wouldn't be able to know where it was going until I clicked the damn link. TioJ: oh shit, so you could put up a tiny url on your site, point it towards a certain love association between men and boys here in north america... and send your unwitting readers and their IP addresses to potential FBI monitored sites? SixH: yup. SixH: or NSFW sites. TioJ: oh fuck, i ain't never gonna click on one of those again TioJ: well i'm Ok w/NSFW TioJ: even @ work TioJ: i'm not OK w/my IP address being put on a watchlist SixH: or virus-laden websites. TioJ: oh, and if i can break the fourth wall here for a second... please take note Citizen SHoPpers, the tiny url above is pointed to Cal Football... SixH: shuuuuurrreee it is. SixH: ;) TioJ: OK I lied TioJ: it's gonna be Cal Cheerleading SixH: mmm.. TioJ: OK i'm hungry and dirty SixH: ok, tmi. TioJ: so i'm gonna shower and then get lunch SixH: ;) SixH: ok, later, buddy TioJ: see ya dude TioJ: FUCK YOU SHITASSLICKS 1:40 PM SixH: SAN DIMAS HIGH SCHOOL FOOTBALL RULES! TioJ: MANDATE, MOTHERFUCKERS, MANDATE! TioJ: FUCK THE SAINT FRANCIS LANCERS!

Well now that it's over an hour and a quarter-and-a-half worth of U$C-UW later, I'm gonna shower up, get some lunch.

go bears,
Jihad Jimmy
Minister of War Crimes and Chief Defender of the Faith
Commissioner, SHoP Department of Recreational Sport (Non-nude)

Bell Nation

My little brother got to go to the Bellarmine/St. Francis game last night, which is our big game. Not to be confused with The Big Game, which is Cal/Stanfurd. Please take note degenerate visitors from smithantics smithasslicks, the best way to distinguish between the two games is the capitalization used for Cal/Stanfurd. That means "big letters".

If you've been keeping track of your SHoP Overlords (and one SHoP Overlady), you'll know that SixH went to one of our rival high schools, but not our arch-rival.

JihadJimmyMWCCDF = Tio Jaime JihadJeffrey = Tio Jaime's little brother note the Bellarmine-blue background

12:08 PM JihadJeffrey: st francis beat us, but only cuz their coaches were being faggots JihadJimmyMWCCDF: yeah fuck man, i read about that last night JihadJeffrey: when we were on the defense, ammo got called on for a delay of game JihadJimmyMWCCDF: i read it was Big John Amarillas who got a delay of game JihadJeffrey: yeah JihadJimmyMWCCDF: yeah WTF JihadJeffrey: sf coaches were bugging the refs to call that JihadJimmyMWCCDF: goddam saint francis JihadJeffrey: and then sf got a completed pass that they totally dropped 12:10 PM JihadJimmyMWCCDF: @ saint francis, or @ SJCC? JihadJeffrey: @ st francis JihadJimmyMWCCDF: shit JihadJimmyMWCCDF: was reading the mercury news, this was our best start since 1996? JihadJimmyMWCCDF: back when we were good JihadJeffrey: what do you mean our best start? JihadJeffrey: dude, st francis did an onside kick in the first quarter JihadJeffrey: which is gay JihadJimmyMWCCDF: WTF! dicks! JihadJeffrey: on the kickoff JihadJimmyMWCCDF: that's a dick move JihadJeffrey: i know JihadJimmyMWCCDF: best start: the last time we had a record this good was like 10 years ago? JihadJeffrey: oh, well, i duno JihadJeffrey: we're like 6-2 right now or something JihadJeffrey: could've been 7-1 if sfhs weren't dicks JihadJeffrey: ok i'm going to play on bnet with some friends, so ttyl JihadJimmyMWCCDF: http://www.cifccs.org/playoffs/results/96-97/fball1.htm JihadJimmyMWCCDF: crap JihadJimmyMWCCDF: in 1995 we lost to Saint Francis in the CCS championship after we beat them in regular season @ SF 12:15 PM JihadJimmyMWCCDF: this was my senior year... http://latc.com/1995/10/30/sports/sports3.html 12:20 PM JihadJimmyMWCCDF: go bells JihadJimmyMWCCDF: http://ucdavisaggies.collegesports.com/sports/m-footbl/mtt/mossawir_jake00.html

Anyway, another sad chapter in Bellarmine Bell football.

Jihad Jimmy
Commissioner, SHoP Department of Recreational Sport (Non-nude)

Posse Up, Citizen SHoPpers

PREVIOUSLY ON THE SHoP...

A practical application of guerilla Republicanism

THE FOLLOWING TAKES PLACE BETWEEN 2:00 AM AND 3:00 AM.

EVENTS OCCUR IN REAL TIME.

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Was brought to my attention [update date="20051023" time="0224" reason="Tio J is a forgetful tard"]by sometime-Citizen SHoPper 'Trose[/update] that there's a new sticker making the rounds. I took the liberty of finding it as well as its variation.

Leftist Degenerate Stickers targeted for SHoP Liberation

Please take note, shitasslicker degenerate visitor, that "its" = "possessive of it" and "it's" = "it is". Any further questions, head here for clarification. And then Get Bent.

OK back to the Jihad at hand.

My last attempt at Jihad can be found at the recap link above. I retracted it. As it wasn't entirely clear that it was tongue-in-cheek. That's a lot of vandalism for one Citizen SHoPper. But this time, I'm serious-- and it's just a little Sticker Liberation.

I'm putting a bounty out on these stickers. A liberated sticker above can be redeemed with your Tio Jaime for a new SHoP sticker! Once the first six are liberated, each three liberated stickers (mix-and-match kids!) can be redeemed for the reward.

And one more sticker for now, this is just plain stupid. Even the staunchest of Democruds knows that the America-hating anti-Imperialist crowd sides on the Left. Pull your degenerate heads out of your asses and gimme a break already...

Bridge to the 21st Century my ass.
Why do these degenerates make less and less sense the longer we let them speak?

Retards. When was the last time you saw an American flag burned at a conservative gathering?

One of these stickers too, SHoPpers. And shit, check out the "Great Vengeance and Furious Anger" segment we ran here a while back. Redeem any liberated sticker seen on the SHoP for a nice, new SHoP one!

I'm not providing links to the websites where you can buy these stickers. Fuck no. If you're curious, go blingo these loser slogans later. We're not gonna help you buy these pieces of shit. With luck, we can start selling recycyled stickers soon here on the SHoP.

We got your Blog of Rage right here, you degenerates... [grabs crotch, shakes]

Citizen SHoPpers? Get Some!

Jihad Jimmy, Minister of War Crimes and Chief Defender of the Faith

Et tu, TioJ?

CEO disputes $241K tab at topless club

Thurs-dee Nights with Tio Jaime!

This summary is not available. Please click here to view the post.

It's the Uncle Tom, Stupid!

I'm just gonna do all the Leftist Degenerates out there a favor and pre-emptively call Bill Cosby an Uncle Tom. A House Negro. A Pickaninny. All those things you hear being hurled at successful blacks in the oppressive white world.

Cosby: Parents Must Set Goals for Kids

And no, your culture isn't as important as Goals and Success. And no, the way out of the ghetto and to success isn't the NBA so much as it is an MBA. I shouldn't have to tell you this so bluntly in the new black and gray hues that is the House of Pain, but you angry minorities out there who found this SHoP post by blingo-ing "Bill Cosby Uncle Tom Pickaninny" really aren't getting the picture.

Next January, please to be celebrating Kwan-Jimmy in the days leading up to MLK day. You make up your holiday(s), I'll make up mine.

California, here we come / Right back where we started from

For all of you History Revisionists out there who have been forwarding this via e-mail...

Go stick it in your Leftist asses. I swear to God, you Leftist Degenerates are making me so goddam sick. In the five-and-a-half short years since Clinton left office and stole White House property in the process, the Democrats even here in the SF Bay Area are a bunch of yappy little poodles. Definitely no bite, but even then, not even a bark. WTF.

You wanna-be Leftists better start doing your homework. You're so sloppy because Bush is such a doofus sometimes? Most of the time? Well sure, nimrod, but we your SHoP Overlords and one SHoP Overlady are still running the country and you're still driving around with a stupid bumper sticker on your Volvo.

Here. Here's the homework you should have done before you tried to paint California as a Free State.

taken from Wikipedia.org's entry on California
During the American Civil War, popular support in California was divided 70% for the South and 30% for the North, and although California officially entered on the side of the North, many troops went east to fight for the Confederacy CSA.

You like how that shit works?

Jihad Jimmy
SHoP Ambassador, San Fran-fucking-cisco Bay Area

[update date="20051020" time="1247"]
How about Oregon, that bastion of Leftist environmentalism today?

comment by mythago from link in maps above
Small note there--Oregon was not really a 'free state'. They neatly avoided the whole issue by making it illegal for a black person to enter Oregon. No Negroes, no slaves!

Well. Isn't that ironic. You learn something new each day. And here at the SHoP, the thing you've learned today is how our Leftist Degenerate friends don't do their homework! Yay!
[/update]

The Most Sexually Deranged Skies You've Ever Seen, In Seattle!

[update time="1252" reason="added SHoP recap"]
PREVIOUSLY ON THE SHoP...

The Bluest skies you've ever seen in Seattle
(G) The Brownest Skies You've Ever Seen in Los Angeles
(Some of) The Reddest skies you've ever seen in Seattle
The Gayest Shirt You've Ever Seen in AskMen.com!
The Dumbest Drivers You've Ever Seen, In Seattle!

THE FOLLOWING TAKES PLACE BETWEEN 11:00 AM AND 1:00 PM.

EVENTS OCCUR IN REAL TIME.

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[/update]
Right out of college, LMHBrent moved to a suburb of Seattle to work at the local aerospace 600-lb gorilla, and I relocated to the same suburb shortly thereafter for some work with the regional transit agency. (how's that light rail coming along, btw?) So we enjoy these stories from the Pacific Northwest immensely. We were always Token Califorons, and will be remembered as such by the Washingtards.

Trespassing charged in horse-sex case

I didn't even read the entire article yet. That headline in conjunction with the Seattle Times banner up top with the header of "Local News"? Man, that's just hilarious. Please take note, Citizen SHoPpers, that this is the type of story that makes your local paper's "News of the Weird" section and everybody has a good laugh over it.

But when this happens in your own backyard, oh yes, then the Token Califorons come out of the woodworks and even post about it on their blogs and hey, they probably even send you a URL to the post in the hopes that you'll send it to your other Washingtastic friends.

Excerpt from Trespassing charged in horse-sex case. Emphasis mine.

The criminal-trespassing charge stems from a July 2 bestiality session involving Tait, the 45-year-old Seattle man and a horse in a neighbor's barn, charging papers say. According to the King County Medical Examiner's Office, the Seattle man died of acute peritonitis due to perforation of the colon. Attempts to contact Tait yesterday were unsuccessful. King County prosecutors say it's the most-severe charge they could file; Washington is one of more than a dozen states that does not outlaw bestiality. "There is no evidence of injury to the animal to support animal-cruelty charges," said Dan Satterberg, the county prosecutor's chief of staff. "This is the only crime we can charge." When interviewed by The Seattle Times July 15, the horse's owners said they had known their neighbors for years. The couple, who asked to have their names withheld to protect their privacy, said they were shocked when police showed them a home video of the July 2 incident that investigators seized from their neighbor's home. The couple identified their barn and their horse.

Oh Sweet Merciful Crap, where to start?

First off, Mighty are the blogs who use the Purple and the Gold... Don't worry Huskies fans, our sturdy Golden Bears are gonna meet you in the Pac-10 cellar by the time Big Game/Apple Cup rolls around...

Second, kudos to Seattle Times reporter Jennifer Sullivan for a wonderfully written article. I was gonna cut the quote short at the "does not outlaw bestiality" until I found the "no evidence of injury..." line which was freakin' hilarious! And then I found the last line...

Third, wow that's gotta suck. Imagine Seattle's finest showing up at your door (perhaps King County's finest?), asking about your neighbor. Given the region's history of turning out some of society's shining stars, sure you thought something was amiss about him. But you never really gave it much thought.

And then they tell you what he did.

And then they show you what he did.

And then you recognize your horse...

...and now you realize why your horse has been acting somewhat distant recently.

Finally-- and this should give you an insight into the limits of my allegedly vast levels of depravity and degeneracy-- if you're gonna do that weird stuff because maybe that's just what you do in Enumclaw, fine. Why record it? Like I'm saying, perhaps my depravity isn't as much as we thought since I wouldn't automatically think to record something like one of your clients having the Sex with a horse.

If you open up a year's worth of my beloved San Jose Mercury News for the past year, you'll find that the Finger-in-the-Wendy's-Chili was our Local News. I even know exactly where that Wendy's is. It's right next to the lumber store I got supplies at for the Santa Clara job. But I'll have to concede that you Seattlites have us beat here.

Beaten like a rented mule, yessir... if you guys are into that kind of thing.

Jihad Jimmy, Minister of War Crimes and Chief Defender of the Faith

no shit your legs aren't sore, you're fucking worthless

PREVIOUSLY ON THE SHoP...

Ok this show fucking sucks, this doesn't even deserve SHoP billing.
i hope your kids murder you with shotguns when they come to grips with how assholey you made them
and maybe the little gaghan fucker will die

THE FOLLOWING TAKES PLACE BETWEEN 10:00 PM AND 12:00 AM.

EVENTS OCCUR IN REAL TIME.

---

Got home a little after 10pm, had dinner, and 3amC-ed tonight's episode. what a pukefest.

And now i'm watching a shitty Six Flags commercial.

Well, here's tonight's episode. And if you're curious to see if you won some money... she felt sick and had to bug out. She flaked.

But we're on for Thursday... i'm gonna place the Greta-Flake money line at -1600. Greta-No-Flake at +1500.

Jihad Jimmy, Minister of War Crimes and Chief Defender of the Faith

Tape Delayed 3am Criticism of THE BEST SEASON OF THE AMAZING RACE EVER the shittiest season of TAR

You are now in chat room "BurnInHellGaghans." JihadJimmyMWCCDF has entered the chat room. JihadJimmyMWCCDF (10:15:17 PM): hello dere JihadJimmyMWCCDF (10:15:52 PM): lemme rewind the tape, get myself a drink, and we'll 3amC tonight's Amazing Race, shitty family edition JihadJimmyMWCCDF (10:16:07 PM): perhaps SHoPpers in hawaii can glean from this? JihadJimmyMWCCDF (10:16:16 PM): well, no more than usual I suppose JihadJimmyMWCCDF (10:19:59 PM): oops, gonna rewind that shit JihadJimmyMWCCDF (10:20:19 PM): like a curse JihadJimmyMWCCDF (10:20:29 PM): TAR missed the tsunami JihadJimmyMWCCDF (10:20:48 PM): the following episode of TAR was filmed in MI and LA three weeks before hurricane katrina la la la JihadJimmyMWCCDF (10:20:57 PM): George W Bush doesn't care about black people JihadJimmyMWCCDF (10:21:59 PM): a maze ing JihadJimmyMWCCDF (10:22:01 PM): AMAZING JihadJimmyMWCCDF (10:22:05 PM): A MAZE ING JihadJimmyMWCCDF (10:22:07 PM): AMAZING JihadJimmyMWCCDF (10:22:10 PM): AMAZE ING JihadJimmyMWCCDF (10:22:13 PM): A MAZE ING JihadJimmyMWCCDF (10:22:15 PM): AMAZING JihadJimmyMWCCDF (10:22:19 PM): AAAAAAMAZING RACE JihadJimmyMWCCDF (10:22:25 PM): AAAAAAAAAAAAAMAZING RACE JihadJimmyMWCCDF (10:22:29 PM): AAAAAAAAAAAAAMAZING RACE JihadJimmyMWCCDF (10:22:31 PM): A MAZE ING JihadJimmyMWCCDF (10:22:32 PM): AMAZING JihadJimmyMWCCDF (10:22:35 PM): A MAZE ING JihadJimmyMWCCDF (10:22:38 PM): AMAZING JihadJimmyMWCCDF (10:23:53 PM): commercial and back JihadJimmyMWCCDF (10:24:09 PM): This is the US Space and Rocket Center in HUnstville, AL JihadJimmyMWCCDF (10:24:21 PM): living tribute to space travel and shit JihadJimmyMWCCDF (10:24:26 PM): i miss brittney rogers JihadJimmyMWCCDF (10:24:36 PM): BURN IN HELL GAGHANS JihadJimmyMWCCDF (10:24:48 PM): Bransen daughters first to depart 1:15 JihadJimmyMWCCDF (10:24:54 PM): travel to anniston, AL JihadJimmyMWCCDF (10:25:42 PM): Linz family second to depart 1:18 JihadJimmyMWCCDF (10:26:29 PM): schroeders and g-sisters 3rd and 4th JihadJimmyMWCCDF (10:27:35 PM): FUCK YOU PAOLOS JihadJimmyMWCCDF (10:27:50 PM): somebody left 5th, paolos 6th JihadJimmyMWCCDF (10:28:04 PM): BURN IN HELL GAGHANS JihadJimmyMWCCDF (10:28:07 PM): last to depart JihadJimmyMWCCDF (10:28:15 PM): FUCK YOU CARISSA GAGHAN JihadJimmyMWCCDF (10:28:21 PM): YOU ARE A WORTHLESS PIECE OF SHIT JihadJimmyMWCCDF (10:28:50 PM): SHUT THE FUCK UP JihadJimmyMWCCDF (10:28:55 PM): i hate that family JihadJimmyMWCCDF (10:31:42 PM): what a useless task JihadJimmyMWCCDF (10:31:54 PM): ride a tard-bike around a racetrack? JihadJimmyMWCCDF (10:32:22 PM): FUCK YOU GAGHAN JihadJimmyMWCCDF (10:32:55 PM): was gonna try to limit it to a "burn in hell gaghan" but we'll go back to the FUCK YOU GAGHANS JihadJimmyMWCCDF (10:34:18 PM): go to the Southern Colonel in Hattiesburg, MS JihadJimmyMWCCDF (10:35:10 PM): widow weaver in the museum JihadJimmyMWCCDF (10:35:35 PM): commercial and back JihadJimmyMWCCDF (10:37:17 PM): FUCK YOU GAGHANS JihadJimmyMWCCDF (10:37:23 PM): i hate that fucking retard family JihadJimmyMWCCDF (10:38:08 PM): what's wrong with you stupid white people? IT'S COLONEL, NOT COLONIAL JihadJimmyMWCCDF (10:38:13 PM): FUCK YOU GAGHANS JihadJimmyMWCCDF (10:38:21 PM): FUCK YOU GAGHAN JihadJimmyMWCCDF (10:38:24 PM): YOU LITTLE SHIT JihadJimmyMWCCDF (10:38:39 PM): no shit your legs aren't sore, you're fucking worthless JihadJimmyMWCCDF (10:39:59 PM): should've torn the page out of the yellow pages JihadJimmyMWCCDF (10:43:03 PM): maybe you should discipline your little cunt of a daughter JihadJimmyMWCCDF (10:43:31 PM): FUCK YOU GAGHANS, YOU WORTHLESS FUCKS JihadJimmyMWCCDF (10:43:37 PM): SHUT THE FUCK UP JihadJimmyMWCCDF (10:44:02 PM): nice job all of you dumbasses, you just let the paolos back in the game JihadJimmyMWCCDF (10:45:13 PM): did i mention how wonderful this show is JihadJimmyMWCCDF (10:45:38 PM): and the high-esteem i hold this shitty family version in? JihadJimmyMWCCDF (10:48:45 PM): worthless stupid people JihadJimmyMWCCDF (10:49:02 PM): drive to richland mississippi? and go to a BP JihadJimmyMWCCDF (10:49:27 PM): nice job stupid weavers JihadJimmyMWCCDF (10:49:30 PM): and FUCK YOU GAGHANS JihadJimmyMWCCDF (10:50:06 PM): drive 151 miles to the pelican state JihadJimmyMWCCDF (10:50:09 PM): fairview? JihadJimmyMWCCDF (10:50:48 PM): WTF? paolos in 3rd JihadJimmyMWCCDF (10:51:12 PM): shut up you stupid tard JihadJimmyMWCCDF (10:51:34 PM): FUCK YOU GAGHANS JihadJimmyMWCCDF (10:51:42 PM): SHUT THE FUCK UP JihadJimmyMWCCDF (10:51:44 PM): FUCK YOU GAGHANS JihadJimmyMWCCDF (10:52:10 PM): how is it that only that team had to get gas? JihadJimmyMWCCDF (10:52:28 PM): oh i guess they didn't get new trucks JihadJimmyMWCCDF (10:52:35 PM): g-cunt needs validation JihadJimmyMWCCDF (10:53:06 PM): A Detour is a choice between two tasks, each with its own pros and cons. JihadJimmyMWCCDF (10:53:08 PM): Work or Play JihadJimmyMWCCDF (10:53:52 PM): must put on appropriate period clothing JihadJimmyMWCCDF (10:53:56 PM): losers JihadJimmyMWCCDF (10:55:56 PM): oh and the stupid linz tards are giving up JihadJimmyMWCCDF (10:55:57 PM): FUCK YOU GAGHANS JihadJimmyMWCCDF (10:56:00 PM): THAT'S NOT CUTE JihadJimmyMWCCDF (10:56:02 PM): THAT'S ANNOYING JihadJimmyMWCCDF (10:56:41 PM): holy shit, Paolos in first JihadJimmyMWCCDF (10:56:52 PM): drive worlds longest bridge to New Orleans JihadJimmyMWCCDF (10:57:02 PM): heh JihadJimmyMWCCDF (10:57:26 PM): ooh yeah bransen daughters JihadJimmyMWCCDF (10:57:29 PM): FUCK YOU GAGHANS JihadJimmyMWCCDF (10:58:31 PM): fuck you gaghans JihadJimmyMWCCDF (10:58:35 PM): FUCK YOU GAGHANS JihadJimmyMWCCDF (10:59:20 PM): commercial and back JihadJimmyMWCCDF (10:59:27 PM): i fucking hate that family JihadJimmyMWCCDF (10:59:46 PM): i now wish physical harm to them JihadJimmyMWCCDF (10:59:57 PM): that' s abig damn lake JihadJimmyMWCCDF (11:00:21 PM): there's no crying in TAR! JihadJimmyMWCCDF (11:00:58 PM): that's retarded JihadJimmyMWCCDF (11:01:03 PM): let your stupid kids do it by themselves? JihadJimmyMWCCDF (11:01:08 PM): i hope you get eliminated JihadJimmyMWCCDF (11:01:36 PM): worthless gaghan kids JihadJimmyMWCCDF (11:01:58 PM): FUCK YOU GAGHANS JihadJimmyMWCCDF (11:02:06 PM): FUCK YOU YOU'RE WORTHLESS JihadJimmyMWCCDF (11:02:23 PM): you're worse than chip's wife who won TAR 3 JihadJimmyMWCCDF (11:02:32 PM): New Orleans, LA JihadJimmyMWCCDF (11:03:04 PM): are the schroeders from new orleans? JihadJimmyMWCCDF (11:03:17 PM): fuck you you stupid new yorkers JihadJimmyMWCCDF (11:03:35 PM): nice job team bransen JihadJimmyMWCCDF (11:03:39 PM): Bransen daughters team #1 JihadJimmyMWCCDF (11:03:55 PM): trip to whore-lando JihadJimmyMWCCDF (11:04:14 PM): fuck the paolos JihadJimmyMWCCDF (11:04:23 PM): Paolo Family Team #2 JihadJimmyMWCCDF (11:04:59 PM): Linz Family Team #3 JihadJimmyMWCCDF (11:05:19 PM): G-Sisters Team #4 JihadJimmyMWCCDF (11:05:30 PM): oh pleaseplesae please please eliminate the gahgans JihadJimmyMWCCDF (11:05:33 PM): oh shit, no chance JihadJimmyMWCCDF (11:05:57 PM): Widow Weaver, Team #5 JihadJimmyMWCCDF (11:06:26 PM): yeah right it's this close JihadJimmyMWCCDF (11:06:44 PM): FUCK JihadJimmyMWCCDF (11:06:50 PM): FUCK YOU GAGHANS JihadJimmyMWCCDF (11:06:56 PM): YOU ANNOYING WORTHLESS PIECESOF SHIT JihadJimmyMWCCDF (11:07:15 PM): team schroeder, last team to arrive JihadJimmyMWCCDF (11:07:30 PM): sorry to tell you you've been elminated from the race JihadJimmyMWCCDF (11:07:46 PM): crying again? this is why families shouldn't be on the amazing race JihadJimmyMWCCDF (11:08:41 PM): what a shitty show JihadJimmyMWCCDF (11:08:56 PM): i can see why the Snark doesn't watch this shitty season JihadJimmyMWCCDF (11:09:08 PM): Stay Chuned for scenes from our next episode JihadJimmyMWCCDF (11:09:46 PM): on the next episode of TAR JihadJimmyMWCCDF (11:10:11 PM): great JihadJimmyMWCCDF (11:10:13 PM): how shitty JihadJimmyMWCCDF (11:10:26 PM): will see you next week JihadJimmyMWCCDF has left the chat room.