oh she was lint brushing her boobs

One more episode to go. There's gonna be a marathon this sunday if you wanna hop onto the bandwagon. Watch all of the episodes, then the finale and epilogue next wednesday...

Jihad Jimmy, Mininster of War Crimes and Chief Defender of the Faith

3am Criticism of Beauty and the Geek, episode 5

You are now in chat room “BiteMeAIM.” TioJaime858 has entered the chat room. TioJaime (5:31:51 PM): hello dere! TioJaime (5:32:05 PM): we're a day late because i had to help the neighbor w/chem TioJaime (5:32:17 PM): and i had an interview this morning TioJaime (5:32:40 PM): ooh sandra oh commercial TioJaime (5:32:55 PM): and here we go TioJaime (5:33:29 PM): this is the fifth episode of Ass-tard Kutcher's Beauty and the Geek TioJaime (5:33:46 PM): Welcome to the WB Wednesday TioJaime (5:33:57 PM): no more lauren the lingerie model though =( TioJaime (5:34:01 PM): ooh a social experiment TioJaime (5:34:16 PM): "howdy-doo, chuckeroo!" TioJaime (5:34:43 PM): i miss lauren TioJaime (5:35:09 PM): yeah he was the most skilled pick-up artist TioJaime (5:35:15 PM): WHO HAD TO PRETEND HE WAS A GAY TioJaime (5:35:23 PM): no more lauren TioJaime (5:35:31 PM): why even bother w/this fucking show? TioJaime (5:35:32 PM): ooh yeah scarlet TioJaime (5:35:35 PM): i remember now TioJaime (5:35:56 PM): oh hi lauren! TioJaime (5:36:11 PM): chuckeroo and the jew! TioJaime (5:36:14 PM): part two! TioJaime (5:36:17 PM): woohoo! TioJaime (5:36:22 PM): don't gotta poo TioJaime (5:36:43 PM): Jew, Has Kissed Two Girls TioJaime (5:36:51 PM): he's gonna "howdy-doo, chuckeroo" again!!! TioJaime (5:37:14 PM): ohyeah.... enforcing negative sterotypes TioJaime (5:37:32 PM): scarlet, mi amor TioJaime (5:37:44 PM): yeah steal scarlet from chuck and win the money TioJaime (5:37:54 PM): what did he say? rewinding TioJaime (5:38:06 PM): the jew said something to scarlet TioJaime (5:38:26 PM): "i think we should go into the hot tub tonight, my love" TioJaime (5:38:31 PM): "did you hear what he said?" TioJaime (5:38:42 PM): oh whatever TioJaime (5:38:44 PM): wacky jew TioJaime (5:38:54 PM): ooh scarlet TioJaime (5:39:05 PM): she has dueling nerds fighting for her TioJaime (5:39:06 PM): ha ha TioJaime (5:39:26 PM): dem crazy latina-crazy nerds TioJaime (5:39:56 PM): whoa, MwHCock messaged me... rewinding TioJaime (5:40:43 PM): here we go TioJaime (5:40:50 PM): night vision in the hot tub TioJaime (5:41:06 PM): beer chick: "i don't know if he's my type" TioJaime (5:41:07 PM): heh TioJaime (5:41:22 PM): kite-ell-in in boots TioJaime (5:41:45 PM): the jew was wearing a sweatshirt, and i missed what it said TioJaime (5:41:49 PM): oh, Brandeis? TioJaime (5:42:03 PM): you and partner working together to win one challenge TioJaime (5:42:15 PM): no maybe it t wasn't brandeis TioJaime (5:42:44 PM): he's wearing a Gettysburg sweatshirt TioJaime (5:42:49 PM): oh yeah Shawn the boy scout TioJaime (5:43:04 PM): beer chick asked him if he's ever gone camping TioJaime (5:43:32 PM): i don't like mindi or kite-ell-in TioJaime (5:43:41 PM): chuckeroo: "i wouldn't wear that bracelet" TioJaime (5:43:48 PM): ooh scarlet's boots TioJaime (5:43:52 PM): i like the beer chick TioJaime (5:44:07 PM): go shawn TioJaime (5:44:15 PM): they got rid of the rest of the hot chicks TioJaime (5:44:24 PM): oh she was lint brushing her boobs TioJaime (5:44:47 PM): jew: "it's not about winning, it's about losing to chuck" TioJaime (5:44:49 PM): commercial TioJaime (5:45:27 PM): WTF does camping have to do w/being hot or being smart TioJaime (5:45:30 PM): FUCK YOU PRICELESS COMMERCIAL TioJaime (5:45:32 PM): FF TioJaime (5:46:10 PM): a new WB show w/sara gilbert TioJaime (5:46:23 PM): books on camping and fishing TioJaime (5:46:27 PM): BFD TioJaime (5:46:37 PM): this has nothing to do w/intelligence and social graces TioJaime (5:46:56 PM): this episode is gonna suck, if it wasn't for the jew-chuckaroo conflict TioJaime (5:47:04 PM): and the scarlet-hotness TioJaime (5:47:57 PM): nice job boy scout dude TioJaime (5:48:01 PM): wait for your hot chick TioJaime (5:48:16 PM): and chickeroo isn't even carying her shit TioJaime (5:48:33 PM): yeah make the Jew carry your pack TioJaime (5:48:44 PM): you'll be fine scout master TioJaime (5:49:58 PM): you alright BABE? TioJaime (5:50:01 PM): fuck you, chuckeroo TioJaime (5:50:46 PM): this is a fucking retarded challenge TioJaime (5:51:13 PM): thought you read the book you jew? TioJaime (5:51:33 PM): just pull the cord BABE TioJaime (5:51:38 PM): i'm pulling the cord BABE TioJaime (5:51:59 PM): whoa those fish look really dead TioJaime (5:52:42 PM): ooh mindy thong TioJaime (5:52:46 PM): she's still janky TioJaime (5:52:47 PM): TioJaime (5:53:13 PM): crazy jew TioJaime (5:53:25 PM): ooh scarlet said a bad word TioJaime (5:53:28 PM): she needs a spanking TioJaime (5:53:33 PM): perhaps a molestation TioJaime (5:53:46 PM): you tard, your partner was gimpy TioJaime (5:54:16 PM): OK hot-chick is crying now TioJaime (5:54:33 PM): ooh scarlet is pissed TioJaime (5:54:59 PM): ooh she's mad TioJaime (5:55:54 PM): whoa spoiler in the teaser? TioJaime (5:56:02 PM): two couples going down the stairs... TioJaime (5:56:45 PM): chuckeroo and teh jew? TioJaime (5:56:56 PM): BatG, the aftermath on 13 july TioJaime (5:57:07 PM): ooh angry latina TioJaime (5:58:01 PM): she could've done this all by herself? TioJaime (5:58:50 PM): oh get over your hot-self TioJaime (5:59:27 PM): OK maybe chuck is a gay TioJaime (5:59:34 PM): LOL TioJaime (5:59:47 PM): "one of my lifelong hobgoblins has been THINKING TOO MUCH" TioJaime (6:00:04 PM): LOL TioJaime (6:00:44 PM): "chuck! just let him have some fun" TioJaime (6:00:51 PM): LOL TioJaime (6:01:02 PM): "time to prove himself as a man" TioJaime (6:03:50 PM): T called TioJaime (6:03:56 PM): Jew is being jew-tastic TioJaime (6:03:59 PM): pretty funny shit TioJaime (6:04:01 PM): lemme rewind a bit TioJaime (6:04:32 PM): he's throwing logs TioJaime (6:04:49 PM): "i'm gonna wake up tomorrow witha full beard and be a man" TioJaime (6:04:57 PM): he was doing some pelvic dancing TioJaime (6:05:00 PM): scarlet liked it TioJaime (6:05:08 PM): and now he's acting like a dog TioJaime (6:05:27 PM): "Rich, will you stop F***ING around by the fire now?" TioJaime (6:05:38 PM): what a tard TioJaime (6:05:50 PM): "don't take this wrong, buddy, but you're not putting anything else in the fire" TioJaime (6:05:58 PM): he *is* a child TioJaime (6:06:06 PM): he's completely f***ing unstable TioJaime (6:06:08 PM): LOL TioJaime (6:06:22 PM): you ever been tested for ADD, rich? TioJaime (6:06:41 PM): are the chicks changing in the background? TioJaime (6:07:00 PM): i think you're full of s*** TioJaime (6:07:08 PM): you have such the wrong f***ing idea TioJaime (6:07:13 PM): heh now they're swearing TioJaime (6:07:25 PM): and now beer chick is siding w/the Jew TioJaime (6:07:42 PM): ooh and now he's turned beer chick against chuck TioJaime (6:07:52 PM): whoa a BatG Marathon! TioJaime (6:08:05 PM): SHoPpers! check out the marathon while you read along w/the 3amCs TioJaime (6:08:28 PM): and now beer chick is taking it to her partner TioJaime (6:08:31 PM): and she swore again TioJaime (6:08:55 PM): ooh yeah a fiery latina TioJaime (6:09:11 PM): please to be donning a bikini and distributing the corona TioJaime (6:09:14 PM): con limo TioJaime (6:09:39 PM): commercial TioJaime (6:09:58 PM): and we're back TioJaime (6:10:23 PM): oh calm down you hot chick TioJaime (6:10:32 PM): technically, shouldn't it be three girls? TioJaime (6:10:37 PM): didn't another chick kiss him? TioJaime (6:11:05 PM): wow, so where does the beauty/geek thing come into play today? TioJaime (6:11:22 PM): i just want to see scarlet topless TioJaime (6:11:27 PM): WTF is he doing? TioJaime (6:12:17 PM): ooh mindi TioJaime (6:12:33 PM): oh is that beer chick? TioJaime (6:12:36 PM): no it's mindi TioJaime (6:13:25 PM): the jew did little league? TioJaime (6:14:13 PM): and now the teams are eating away at each other TioJaime (6:14:47 PM): "i wish i had a metaphorical de-nailing" TioJaime (6:14:49 PM): "what?" TioJaime (6:14:52 PM): "nothing." TioJaime (6:16:29 PM): "i always felt sorta mildly guilty being part of a gender that expects women to subject themselves to something like this for the sake of appearances" TioJaime (6:16:33 PM): "you're so smart chuck" TioJaime (6:17:04 PM): WTF does digging poo-holes have to do w/being hot TioJaime (6:17:06 PM): tards TioJaime (6:17:27 PM): oh BFD what rich thinks of you TioJaime (6:17:39 PM): i miss lauren TioJaime (6:17:46 PM): lauren beauty and the geek lingerie model TioJaime (6:18:19 PM): ooh yeah chuckeroo and his boy friend scout TioJaime (6:18:41 PM): ooh i want you to hurt me TioJaime (6:19:18 PM): yeah scarlet you're like the mastermind behind team beer chick TioJaime (6:19:20 PM): commercial TioJaime (6:19:46 PM): WB presents Related wednesdays this fall TioJaime (6:19:50 PM): and another on friday? TioJaime (6:19:55 PM): not bad TioJaime (6:20:13 PM): ooh scarlet TioJaime (6:20:47 PM): i miss lauren TioJaime (6:21:05 PM): Mindi: placing food in bag = bear-bagging TioJaime (6:21:11 PM): this is a fucking stupid episode TioJaime (6:21:33 PM): Beer Chick: what blows up the mountain? wind? TioJaime (6:21:38 PM): fucking stupid episode TioJaime (6:21:59 PM): Mindi: instrument measures elevation.. altometer TioJaime (6:22:02 PM): OK i didn't know that TioJaime (6:22:29 PM): Beer Chick: mechanical device using earth's navigational device... come-pass? TioJaime (6:22:33 PM): heh Come, Pass TioJaime (6:22:35 PM): i wanna play craps TioJaime (6:22:51 PM): Mindi: fire best for quick lighting? teepee fire TioJaime (6:22:59 PM): wow nice job semi-hot chick TioJaime (6:23:22 PM): Beer Chick: ooh, not hyperventilation TioJaime (6:23:24 PM): oh she's toast TioJaime (6:23:33 PM): i would like to molest her TioJaime (6:23:47 PM): and in return she can molest me TioJaime (6:24:00 PM): and then lauren can come by... TioJaime (6:24:30 PM): Shawn: two tick diseases? lyme disease, influenza TioJaime (6:24:34 PM): not influenza TioJaime (6:24:45 PM): WTF? what kind of stupid questions are these? TioJaime (6:24:55 PM): Jew: needs question to eliminate Beer Chick TioJaime (6:25:24 PM): Jew: poison ivy/oak has... two leaflets TioJaime (6:25:26 PM): nope TioJaime (6:25:29 PM): shawn still in it TioJaime (6:25:43 PM): Shawn: most popular game fish in America... trout! TioJaime (6:25:49 PM): correct answer is bass! TioJaime (6:25:50 PM): d'oh TioJaime (6:26:08 PM): ooh nice job boy scout TioJaime (6:26:17 PM): you deprived your mexi-chick of a chance to win $250,000 TioJaime (6:26:30 PM): no jew-kiss? TioJaime (6:26:42 PM): she doesn't seem enthused about her massage TioJaime (6:27:05 PM): aww, bye hot beer chick TioJaime (6:27:12 PM): ooh, was that a lauren scene/ TioJaime (6:27:14 PM): rewinding TioJaime (6:27:38 PM): ooh hi lauren TioJaime (6:29:02 PM): commercial TioJaime (6:29:09 PM): stay chuned for scenes from our next episode TioJaime (6:29:16 PM): BatG comes toa dramatic conclusion TioJaime (6:29:28 PM): are they gonna hurt the Jew? TioJaime (6:29:41 PM): WTF? TioJaime (6:30:03 PM): this was a waste of an episode TioJaime (6:30:05 PM): show more lauren TioJaime (6:30:32 PM): yeah because this episode helped us decide if they made any progress towards non-slutness or non-dorkness TioJaime (6:30:42 PM): what a fucking waste of time TioJaime (6:30:53 PM): google better hook our shit up, yo TioJaime (6:31:07 PM): see ya next week TioJaime858 has left the chat room.

GFY Tuesday: Forgetful Americans

I was going through snopes.com and found this very interesting letter written by Dr. Tony Kern, Lt Col, USAF (Ret). How appropriate for today, while President Bush is under fire for sticking to his word that we will fight the terrorists wherever they may be.

14 September, 2001

Dear friends and fellow Americans

Like everyone else in this great country, I am reeling from last week's attack on our sovereignty. But unlike some, I am not reeling from surprise. As a career soldier and a student and teacher of military history, I have a different perspective and I think you should hear it.

This war will be won or lost by the American citizens, not diplomats, politicians or soldiers. Let me briefly explain. In spite of what the media, and even our own government is telling us, this act was not committed by a group of mentally deranged fanatics. To dismiss them as such would be among the gravest of mistakes. This attack was committed by a ferocious, intelligent and dedicated adversary. Don't take this the wrong way. I don't admire these men and I deplore their tactics, but I respect their capabilities. The many parallels that have been made with the Japanese attack on Pearl Harbor are apropos. Not only because it was a brilliant sneak attack against a complacent America, but also because we may well be pulling our new adversaries out of caves 30 years after we think this war is over, just like my father's generation had to do with the formidable Japanese in the years following WW II.

These men hate the United States with all of their being, and we must not underestimate the power of their moral commitment. Napoleon, perhaps the world's greatest combination of soldier and statesman, stated the moral is to the physical as three is to one. Patton thought the Frenchman underestimated its importance and said moral conviction was five times more important in battle than physical strength. Our enemies are willing — better said anxious — to give their lives for their cause. How committed are we America? And for how long?

In addition to demonstrating great moral conviction, the recent attack demonstrated a mastery of some of the basic fundamentals of warfare taught to most military officers worldwide, namely simplicity, security and surprise. When I first heard rumors that some of these men may have been trained at our own Air War College, it made perfect sense to me. This was not a random act of violence, and we can expect the same sort of military competence to be displayed in the battle to come. This war will escalate, with a good portion of it happening right here in the good ol' U.S. of A. These men will not go easily into the night. They do not fear us. We must not fear them.

In spite of our overwhelming conventional strength as the world's only superpower (a truly silly term), we are the underdog in this fight. As you listen to the carefully scripted rhetoric designed to prepare us for the march for war, please realize that America is not equipped or seriously trained for the battle ahead. To be certain, our soldiers are much better than the enemy, and we have some excellent counter-terrorist organizations, but they are mostly trained for hostage rescues, airfield seizures, or the occasional body snatch, (which may come in handy). We will be fighting a war of annihilation, because if their early efforts are any indication, our enemy is ready and willing to die to the last man. Eradicating the enemy will be costly and time consuming. They have already deployed their forces in as many as 20 countries, and are likely living the lives of everyday citizens.

Simply put, our soldiers will be tasked with a search and destroy mission on multiple foreign landscapes, and the public must be patient and supportive until the strategy and tactics can be worked out. For the most part, our military is still in the process of redefining itself and is presided over by men and women who grew up with - and were promoted because they excelled in - Cold War doctrine, strategy and tactics. This will not be linear warfare, there will be no clear centers of gravity to strike with high technology weapons. Our vast technological edge will certainly be helpful, but it will not be decisive. Perhaps the perfect metaphor for the coming battle was introduced by the terrorists themselves aboard the hijacked aircraft — this will be a knife fight, and it will be won or lost by the ingenuity and will of citizens and soldiers, not by software or smart bombs. We must also be patient with our military leaders.

Unlike Americans who are eager to put this messy time behind us, our adversaries have time on their side, and they will use it. They plan to fight a battle of attrition, hoping to drag the battle out until the American public loses its will to fight. This might be difficult to believe in this euphoric time of flag waving and patriotism, but it is generally acknowledged that America lacks the stomach for a long fight. We need only look as far back as Vietnam, when North Vietnamese General Vo Nguyen Giap (also a military history teacher) defeated the United States of America without ever winning a major tactical battle. American soldiers who marched to war cheered on by flag waving Americans in 1965 were reviled and spat upon less than three years later when they returned.

Although we hope that Usama Bin Laden is no Giap, he is certain to understand and employ the concept. We can expect not only large doses of pain like the recent attacks, but also less audacious sand in the gears tactics, ranging from livestock infestations to attacks at water supplies and power distribution facilities. These attacks are designed to hit us in our comfort zone forcing the average American to pay more and play less and eventually eroding our resolve. But it can only work if we let it. It is clear to me that the will of the American citizenry - you and I - is the center of gravity the enemy has targeted. It will be the fulcrum upon which victory or defeat will turn. He believes us to be soft, impatient, and self-centered. He may be right, but if so, we must change. The Prussian general Carl von Clausewitz, (the most often quoted and least read military theorist in history), says that there is a remarkable trinity of war that is composed of the (1) will of the people, (2) the political leadership of the government, and (3) the chance and probability that plays out on the field of battle, in that order.

Every American citizen was in the crosshairs of last Tuesday's attack, not just those that were unfortunate enough to be in the World Trade Center or Pentagon. The will of the American people will decide this war. If we are to win, it will be because we have what it takes to persevere through a few more hits, learn from our mistakes, improvise, and adapt. If we can do that, we will eventually prevail.

Everyone I've talked to in the past few days has shared a common frustration, saying in one form or another, "I just wish I could do something!" You are already doing it. Just keep faith in America, and continue to support your President and military, and the outcome is certain. If we fail to do so, the outcome is equally certain. God Bless America

Dr. Tony Kern, Lt Col, USAF (Ret)
Former Director of Military History, USAF Academy

While Democrats scream for exit plans and compare our own soldiers to Nazis, while LIbErals attempt to sacrifice the will of our soldiers and seek to destroy the public's will to fight terror, while support for the president wanes due to public impatience and liberal media, we are left with the words of someone who wisely wrote these words...3 days after 9/11.

How correct he is about Americans' short memories. How correct he is about the importance of keeping the will to fight. How lucky we are that by fighting the war in Iraq and Afghanistan and our efforts with Homeland Security, we are not dealing with attacks to our infrastructure and food/water supplies like was predicted. While we are bombarded by news stories of how horribly we are NOT KILLING prisoners in Guantanamo Bay, we are not replayed any pictures of the 9/11 attacks KILLING 3,000 American civilians. And why not? Those actions would be castigated by LIbErals as Republican propaganda.

America, don't be fooled...and never forget what hateful Islamo-fascists did to us that day.

Hi! I have no discernable male genitalia!, Part 2

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Hi! I have no discernable male genitalia!

This is pretty typical for a SF Bay Aryan "male". This emasculated pussy of a man will do just fine with the typical wishy-washy LIbEral bay aryan woman (see my comments on the "feminist cowboy" chick).

In a Blue state of mind: Tall, handsome, worldly liberal seeking... - 33
rhothetaphi mirror here (in case he shuts it down after you all e-mail him)

I'm not one to encourage e-activism, but I'm giving you all the green light. Forcefully recommend that he follow through and move to Canadia. Suggest various ways that he can cope with the Bush Administration. Suggest various places he can stick his Q-cup chink-drinks.

Remind him, that because he's oriental, he doesn't fit the right minority profile for maximum benefit to the Democruddy party. Point out to him that he's practically a part of the white oligarchy they're trying to fight.

For your convenience, I've started a message for you if you click on the e-mail link on the rhothetaphi mirror. Yay!

At the very least? Flag this faggot's ass. You know you want to.

all my love,
Jihad Jimmy, Mininster of War Crimes and Chief Defender of the Faith

Put this in your pipes and smoke it, you LIbEral Cheesedicks

I'm gonna play the NorCal card again, for the benefit of the one or two SHoPpers who don't know that I live among a bunch of LIbEral SF Bay Aryans who shun single Republicans. Nevermind with complete stranger-retards, Jihad Jimmy has been in many an argument with his closest friends about the War and about various delusional things like how "iraq had nothing to do with terrorists" or how "i was being duped by a conservative media conspiracy". By my own fucking friends, too. Great. Also an Orange County ex, OCDs.

How are they still my friends? Well, by the nature of her jimmy-appointed nickname, OCDs is plesant to look at. That's a no brainer. The others? They fit into the jimmy-scheme some way or another. Go read the archives.

In any case, the debate inevitably turns to "if you like war so much, why don't you go?" To which my response is usually, "I'm a fatass who wouldn't make it past Basic for officers." Is that enough? for now, yes. Wizbang! talks about this very confrontation, and as such led me to a cool analogy. But first, the Wizbang! post...

Excerpt from Wizbang!'s I'd rather be a chickenhawk than a chickensh*t

Let's see how this normally plays out: A: "I believe that the war in Iraq was necessary." B: "I believe that the war in Iraq was wrong." A: "I've looked into this extensively. Because of A, B, C, D, and E, the war became the least worst option." B: "If you believe that the war is such a good thing, then why aren't you over there fighting it yourself, you fucking coward?"

Not that I've come across a Bay Aryan with balls enough to call me a "fucking coward". And when I do, one of you SHoPpers needs to come down to San Fran-fucking-cisco and bail my republican ass out of jail.

Here's the Jihad Jimmy reason: It's not my job. Plain and simple. If we can reach back to Catholic elementary school religion lessons, think vocation. And no, vocation doesn't necessarily mean a religious order, vocation means religious order, or married life or single life. Your "calling", if that'll make you feel better.

It's not my calling to serve my nation in that capacity. Yet. Or if ever at all. If the War comes to the point where they need engineers like me and they're willing to relax some requirements, then dude, sign me up and gimme a sidearm! But for right now, there are plenty of people-- red or blue, right or left, conservative or liberal, republican or democrud-- who do have that calling and who will serve the nation.

The question isn't so much about my courageousness as would be my ineptitude in a military unit. I want us to win this war, which is ironically enough one of the reasons you shouldn't sign me up and gimme a sidearm. I suck at war, even the kinds where you can invert your y-axis or cover your chokepoints with Terran Bunkers.

Still not following? Here's the analogy... I love the San Francisco Giants, right? "Well, if you love them so much, why don't you pick up a bat and step in the box? You fucking coward!" OK and just imagine how well that would turn out. Same principle, you fuckrods-- I can be on the side that hates the dodgers w/o actually having to face that canadian tool Gagne.

But what do we have, 1 million or 2 million soldiers in Iraq? Out of a population of over 350 million Americans? This just confirms what we already knew about our soldiers, sailors, marines and airmen: they're an elite slice of the population which, fortunately for our civilian asses, comprises the bad-assest fighting force with our interests and survival in mind.

Would you want to see me on the field at SBC? Only about as much as you'd want Omar Vizquel running a schedule-sensitive and budget-sensitive construction project. There's a reason Felipe Alou doesn't take just any jerk out of the 5 million or so Giants fans and stick him in the 25-man roster. We don't all have the calling.

SHoPpers, you pissed because an idea this simple had to be spelled out letter-for-letter? Good. You should be. Now copy the permalink and e-mail it to your politically retarded liberal friends. At the very least you'll get a kick out of seeing their faces when they read the post title.

all my love,
Jihad Jimmy, Minister of War Crimes and Chief Defender of the Faith

Lousy MIT bastards.

Though this was gonna be cooler, but it wasn't. If you have something better to do, don't click on this link. And no, this isn't reverse-psychology.



Jihad Jimmy, Minister of War Crimes and Chief Defender of the Faith

Playing Catch-up

You, SHoPper! Listen to the Don and Mike Show today! They're on vacation, but they're playing "The Best of D&M" today. Who gives an eff, you say? Well, listen to these segments and you're 1) likely to hear the origins of today's running gags and inside jokes, and 2) getting a highly concentrated dose of D&M's select segments-- not a lot of esoteric stuff which might appeal only to a semi-seasoned listener such as myself...

shit, it's starting right now!

Jihad Jimmy, Mininster of War Crimes and Chief Defender of the Faith

the SHoP recommends...

Figured I'd visit sites on SixH's blogroll other than the three or four that I visit daily... Here's what I found

I like the packing foam idea

An embedded reporter in Iraq...
Iraq the Model is a nice, succinct site, check it out

Islam - Peace and Tolerance?
like Tio Jaime has said before, I'll respect Islam when it can demonstrate that it is a viable, integratable facet of modern Western Civilization

Gun-Free Zones: The Most Dangerous Places in America
was driving through Union City and Hayward, and it turns out that like Berkeley, Hayward is another of those mentally self-masturbating "Nuclear-free Zones". Whoo.

Pregnancy, Herpes, AIDS and the Dropout Rate in High School
Stupid Democruds. Trying to legislate against HS cheerleaders? While SixH will typically support this tyranny in his unending litany of complaints about "prostitots", I'd like to point out that legislation like this will only end up lowering the quality of undergrads at Arizona State (where I'm told a majority of american HS cheerleaders go for higher education). Why should I as an Angry Red Male give an eff about ASU? Well, as my alma mater is in the Pac-10, ASU co-eds make their way to Cal-ASU games ooh yeah.

Oh, and as an aside, "Cal" and "Berkeley" and "University of California" and "UC Berkeley"?? All the same school. Yes, the newfound football powerhouse is also the home of one of the ball-bustingest engineering programs in the world.

that's all for now,
Jihad Jimmy, Mininster of War Crimes and Chief Defender of the Faith

ps- hey, check out Tio Jaime Nation's new provincial headquarters at http://tjalephone.blogspot.com. Also, check out the farewell from the American Embassy at the Xanga Province

Hello dere! Dis am Tio Jaime!

Was looking some stuff up on wikipedia, and was intrigued by the "Today's Featured Article" - "Our Gang" (aka, The Little Rascals).

Anycrap, found links in that entry to the following entries...
Stepin Fetchit
pickaninny

OK never heard of the first one, and sorta heard of the second one. Either way, interesting reading for a blue-state raised conservative oriental engineer like myself. Found another link in the Pickaninny article...

The Picaninny Caricature

Getting further and further away from my engineering comfort-zone. But here's an excerpt I deemed SHoP-worthy. Normally not anything to write home about, considering that I've been 3am Criticizing "The Beauty and the Geek" (featuring hot blonde texan Lauren, the lingerie model), but if it's an intelligent political or social post, then yes, should be noteworthy...

excerpt from The Picaninny Caricature

This is true, however, the Black characters were often buffoons in racially stereotypical ways. They spoke in dialect -- dis, dat, I is, you is, and we is. Farina, arguably the most famous picaninny of the 1920s, was on more than one occasion shown savagely eating watermelon or chicken. He was also terrified of ghosts -- this fear was a persistent theme for adult coons in later comedy films.

Stifle that laugh, dear SHoPper. Gotta tie in one more excerpt. So the logic should follow that the "dialect" referred to in the above excerpt is practically identical to the infamous "ebonics" of today... press on, faithful SHoPper...

and another excerpt from The Picaninny Caricature

Was Bannerman's Little Black Sambo racist? The major characters: Little Black Sambo, his mother (Black Mumbo) and his father (Black Jumbo) used standard English, not the bastardized English then associated with Blacks. (Emphasis mine)

I'd like to think that most of you SHoPpers have already made the leap, but for the stragglers:

Oh. So what the author of the article is trying to say is that this "bastardized English" is no longer associated with black children in this day and age? WTF. Has this psuedo-intelligentsia elitist even spoken to a black person recently?

Doo dee doo, jimmy you're a sick, racist soulless piece of shit, la la la.

Get bent, it's the truth. If immigrants from the Philippines and India can speak better english than some native-born Americans, this should be red flags shooting straight up in the air amongst your ethnic brethren and also for the public school system here at home.

And yeah, i'm somewhat exploiting my oriental underprivileged and underrepresented minority status here to go all Bill Cosby on you here in the SHoP, but hey, who's right at the end of the day? some guilt-laden white hippie ACLU-tard or the filipino Uncle Tom?

Jihad Jimmy
Minister of War Crimes and Chief Defender of the Faith, Deputy Undersecretary of the SHoP Department of Race Relations, Director of Minority Recruitment of Tio Jaime University

I love the smell of SHoP in the morning

Fri-dee! just past 730am PDT! Here are some quizzes for you, courtesy of miss o'hara's xanga page...

handgun quiz found here

Smith & Wessen .44 Magnum. You are old school. Fat Sheriff Deputies fancy you. Reliable but not too practical. What handgun are you? brought to you by Quizilla

And WTF, did they misspell "Wesson"?

Another one from the same post, but this one makes me feel somewhat gay. I think the loophole here is that ha ha, i've managed to sneak a pin-up pic onto the SHoP. I was hoping for Marilyn Monroe, admittedly... my mom was almost named Norma Jean, as an aside...

You're Betty Grable! What Classic Pin-Up Are You? brought to you by Quizilla

Moving on, here's another one from miss o'hara, and engineers take note! If you're able to distinguish between periods of British literature, you need to put down the books and go pick up some Cliff's Notes. Saves a ton of time.

Which British Literary Period are you? Medieval 1066-1500--The time of Arthur and his knights, and Chaucer. Friendship and loyalty are important to you.

Click Here to Take This Quiz Brought to you by YouThink.com quizzes and personality tests.

Preview isn't showing the last few links as it's on a white background. Hope that it'll show up on the SHoP. Lemme see if I can find you one more...

OK, unless i want to do the xanga-hunting (one of the reasons i'm moving over to the Blogspot Province, miss o'hara's quizzes'll hafta wait. Also nothing new on HoS or NERS, so it looks like we're gonna take a breather here.

Kudos, btw, to SixH for choosing, even if inadvertently, a blog name w/a cool acronym like SHoP. nice job dude

Jihad Jimmy, Mininster of War Crimes and Chief Defender of the Faith

ps- thanks, btw, stupid literature quiz, for NOT CLOSING YOUR STUPID [font face=verdana,arial,helvetica size=2] TAG
pps- Oh screw it. that lit quiz looks so shitty, i'm gonna tool around w/it. gonna change the bgcolor for starters
ppps- ack. not burlywood.
pppps- darksalmon it is!

Founding Fathers are Turning in their Graves

Unbelievable. Simply incredible. By a 5-4 decision, local governments now how the complete authority to take away PRIVATE PROPERTY from citizens. I'm so shocked by this, I don't know what to write. And if Fox News runs any more stories on the stupid drunk in Aruba, I'm going to bash in my television. Take a look at the lines drawn by this decision, and who made it:

"The city has carefully formulated an economic development that it believes will provide appreciable benefits to the community, including -- but by no means limited to -- new jobs and increased tax revenue," Justice John Paul Stevens wrote for the majority.

He was joined by Justice Anthony Kennedy, David H. Souter, Ruth Bader Ginsburg and Stephen G. Breyer.

Ruth Bader Ginsburg...no damn surprise there. And the dissenters?

Justice Sandra Day O'Connor, who has been a key swing vote on many cases before the court, issued a stinging dissent. She argued that cities should not have unlimited authority to uproot families, even if they are provided compensation, simply to accommodate wealthy developers.

The lower courts had been divided on the issue, with many allowing a taking only if it eliminates blight.

"Any property may now be taken for the benefit of another private party, but the fallout from this decision will not be random," O'Connor wrote. "The beneficiaries are likely to be those citizens with disproportionate influence and power in the political process, including large corporations and development firms."

She was joined in her opinion by Chief Justice William H. Rehnquist, as well as Justices Antonin Scalia and Clarence Thomas.

You're damn right cities shouldn't have that right! This decision is going to have such far-reaching implications...what a country.

"got this gooey thing in my ear. it's nasty" LOL

sorry this was late. was in the city last night watching m's/a's at the zoo...

Jihad Jimmy, Minister of War Crimes and Chief Defender of the Faith

[UPDATE time="11:51"] figured out why mindi and the rest of the normal world was unable to get the 20% question @ the end. probably because that number was from the Dating for Dummies book. which nobody but the geeks will have read.[/UPDATE]

3am Criticism of Beauty and the Geek, episode 4

You are now in chat room “getbentaim.” TioJaime858 has entered the chat room. TioJaime858 (10:29:28 AM): hello dere! TioJaime858 (10:30:02 AM): i really shouldn't have gone to the zoo last night, what w/a flurry of SHoP hits last night because "beauty and the geek lauren" searches TioJaime858 (10:30:13 AM): ooh yeah she's a cutie TioJaime858 (10:30:47 AM): so w/o further ado, here is the 3am criticism of Ashtard Kutcher's Beauty and the Geek, episode 4 (?) TioJaime858 (10:31:18 AM): BEAUTY AND THE GEEK followed by smallville TioJaime858 (10:31:22 AM): yay for social experiments TioJaime858 (10:31:41 AM): the geeks continued their transformation TioJaime858 (10:31:52 AM): yay lauren! "i don't know how to build a rocket" TioJaime858 (10:32:04 AM): geeks had to buy clothes for the beauty TioJaime858 (10:32:13 AM): ooh yeah lumpy butt TioJaime858 (10:32:17 AM): nice job scarlet TioJaime858 (10:32:19 AM): i mean shawn TioJaime858 (10:32:38 AM): krazy jew! TioJaime858 (10:32:45 AM): GTFO shawn TioJaime858 (10:32:54 AM): ooh lauren! TioJaime858 (10:32:57 AM): (and bill) TioJaime858 (10:33:12 AM): ooh hi erika TioJaime858 (10:33:17 AM): hi mindi TioJaime858 (10:33:23 AM): ooh hello lauren! TioJaime858 (10:33:29 AM): ooh scarlet the beer chick TioJaime858 (10:33:44 AM): and what kind of latino family names a daughter scarlet? TioJaime858 (10:33:55 AM): jew in sneak mode TioJaime858 (10:34:04 AM): LOL eat it chuck TioJaime858 (10:34:13 AM): ooh hi lauren TioJaime858 (10:34:20 AM): Richard, Has Kissed One Girl TioJaime858 (10:34:22 AM): nice job dude TioJaime858 (10:34:41 AM): shit, I've never kissed a NBA dancer TioJaime858 (10:34:50 AM): oh he's in full-on wacky jew mode TioJaime858 (10:34:58 AM): "i wanna continue terrorizing chuck" TioJaime858 (10:35:07 AM): i like the jew, but i hope chuck kicks the living snot out of him TioJaime858 (10:35:16 AM): hi scarlet, beer chick TioJaime858 (10:35:53 AM): chuck wanted to point out that it wasn't 1/2 but 4/7 TioJaime858 (10:36:07 AM): yeah, umm, no shit, i just wasn't enough a nerd to point it out TioJaime858 (10:36:12 AM): rather, i wasn't fast enough TioJaime858 (10:36:13 AM): ooh hi lauren TioJaime858 (10:36:24 AM): "phone numbers!" TioJaime858 (10:36:29 AM): "getting her digits" TioJaime858 (10:36:36 AM): becoming a man TioJaime858 (10:36:38 AM): what a tool TioJaime858 (10:36:52 AM): yeah, study for getting a girl's phone number TioJaime858 (10:37:23 AM): is that a Dummies Guide to picking up women TioJaime858 (10:37:35 AM): that was kinda staged? TioJaime858 (10:37:38 AM): ooh hi scarlet TioJaime858 (10:37:47 AM): ooh hi scarlet TioJaime858 (10:37:54 AM): still gonna go w/lauren TioJaime858 (10:38:07 AM): go jew-tard TioJaime858 (10:38:10 AM): it's your birthday TioJaime858 (10:38:25 AM): "if you're available, would you care to join me?" TioJaime858 (10:38:26 AM): GREETINGS TioJaime858 (10:38:44 AM): yay, i would love to TioJaime858 (10:38:50 AM): G.I. Jew! TioJaime858 (10:39:06 AM): crazy jew-antics! TioJaime858 (10:39:32 AM): you should've asked me first! TioJaime858 (10:39:34 AM): tard TioJaime858 (10:39:46 AM): fucking asshole! TioJaime858 (10:39:55 AM): kite-ell-in have a seat! TioJaime858 (10:39:59 AM): this guy's kinda cool TioJaime858 (10:40:04 AM): "i'm feeling a little ill" TioJaime858 (10:40:22 AM): "sure, can i have two dinners?" TioJaime858 (10:40:32 AM): now i've been rejected twice? TioJaime858 (10:40:38 AM): lauren, i'm a little ill TioJaime858 (10:40:52 AM): ooh lauren! TioJaime858 (10:41:11 AM): tard TioJaime858 (10:41:16 AM): should've asked her first TioJaime858 (10:41:21 AM): because she's FUCKING HOT TioJaime858 (10:41:35 AM): asking for numbers, nerd-makeovers! TioJaime858 (10:41:37 AM): commercial TioJaime858 (10:41:55 AM): tard, should've asked lauren first TioJaime858 (10:42:05 AM): cute bubbly, blonde texan? ooh yeah TioJaime858 (10:42:09 AM): i bet she votes republican too TioJaime858 (10:42:22 AM): probalby not as informed as other not-so-hot republican chicks TioJaime858 (10:42:27 AM): but i think i'm willing to make a trade TioJaime858 (10:42:38 AM): ooh mindi the sorority girl TioJaime858 (10:42:42 AM): ooh hi scarlet TioJaime858 (10:42:52 AM): nice job w/the toast chuck TioJaime858 (10:43:03 AM): shit, what did jew-boy call him? TioJaime858 (10:43:11 AM): chuck-eroo? TioJaime858 (10:43:14 AM): chuckeroo TioJaime858 (10:43:24 AM): yeah talk palestine and quakers to the beer chick TioJaime858 (10:43:40 AM): good luck nerd-dude! TioJaime858 (10:43:57 AM): you tell that nerd, bitch, you tell him! TioJaime858 (10:44:24 AM): ooh yeah bill lookin' hot TioJaime858 (10:44:39 AM): richard "this date w/lauren is my first date ever" TioJaime858 (10:44:53 AM): LOL TioJaime858 (10:44:55 AM): what a tool TioJaime858 (10:45:04 AM): ooh hi lauren TioJaime858 (10:45:16 AM): "do not bring out a note pad on the first date" TioJaime858 (10:45:28 AM): "you get a D-. there will not be a second date" TioJaime858 (10:45:45 AM): 8 to a 4 to a 3 to a 0 to a -6 TioJaime858 (10:45:47 AM): LOL TioJaime858 (10:45:50 AM): ooh lauren TioJaime858 (10:46:00 AM): LAUREN BEAUTY AND THE GEEK LINGINER TioJaime858 (10:46:04 AM): OOPS TioJaime858 (10:46:15 AM): LAUREN BEAUTY AND THE GEEK LINGERIE TioJaime858 (10:46:25 AM): nerd-makeover time! TioJaime858 (10:46:44 AM): $1000 to get a wardrove TioJaime858 (10:46:48 AM): wardrobe TioJaime858 (10:46:55 AM): gotta figure out sales tax TioJaime858 (10:46:59 AM): in your head TioJaime858 (10:47:01 AM): hmm TioJaime858 (10:47:14 AM): i want a hot chick to pick out clothes for me! TioJaime858 (10:47:17 AM): that's not my mom TioJaime858 (10:47:24 AM): i'm gonna stop RIGHT HERE TioJaime858 (10:47:30 AM): HEY TioJaime858 (10:47:36 AM): NOTHING WRONG W/YOUR MOM BUYING YOUR CLOTHES TioJaime858 (10:47:45 AM): ooh hi scarlet TioJaime858 (10:48:32 AM): yeah right they're adding stuff in their heads TioJaime858 (10:48:44 AM): ooh hi lauren TioJaime858 (10:48:55 AM): 8.25% sales tax! TioJaime858 (10:49:03 AM): $972.10... LAUREN! TioJaime858 (10:49:04 AM): YAY TioJaime858 (10:49:11 AM): GODDAMIT SHE'S CUTE TioJaime858 (10:49:32 AM): ooh now it's time to dress up your men! TioJaime858 (10:49:40 AM): ooh hi lauren TioJaime858 (10:49:44 AM): i'm moving to texas TioJaime858 (10:50:07 AM): over $250 for nerd-jeans?!? TioJaime858 (10:50:15 AM): yeah dude, i totally agree w/chuckeroo!!! TioJaime858 (10:50:18 AM): what didn't he say? TioJaime858 (10:50:40 AM): and he did say oy vey! TioJaime858 (10:50:42 AM): rewinding TioJaime858 (10:50:53 AM): he would wear jeans if he had some? TioJaime858 (10:50:55 AM): oh vey! TioJaime858 (10:50:57 AM): oy vey! TioJaime858 (10:51:16 AM): great gay hair salonning TioJaime858 (10:51:27 AM): "you never had highlights before" asked the asian flamer TioJaime858 (10:51:47 AM): OK nerd revealage TioJaime858 (10:51:52 AM): and was lauren the one in the hot shoes? TioJaime858 (10:51:55 AM): rewinding TioJaime858 (10:52:10 AM): ooh white shoes! TioJaime858 (10:52:19 AM): i can't tell TioJaime858 (10:52:22 AM): rewinding one more time TioJaime858 (10:52:54 AM): oh it was kite-ell-in in the hot shoes TioJaime858 (10:52:57 AM): nerd-revealage! TioJaime858 (10:53:03 AM): Shawn TioJaime858 (10:53:12 AM): hey that's cool TioJaime858 (10:53:16 AM): he has boy band hair TioJaime858 (10:53:39 AM): chuck... he looks the same TioJaime858 (10:53:46 AM): except for the boy band hair TioJaime858 (10:53:55 AM): bill... TioJaime858 (10:53:58 AM): whoa TioJaime858 (10:54:06 AM): he looks all metrosexuallissimo TioJaime858 (10:54:27 AM): richard.... jew time TioJaime858 (10:54:44 AM): dude, he doesn't a bit different TioJaime858 (10:55:37 AM): except for the jeans i guess TioJaime858 (10:55:47 AM): sorry had to answer the phone TioJaime858 (10:56:10 AM): heh TioJaime858 (10:56:15 AM): kids test driving a toyota TioJaime858 (10:56:19 AM): see, that's a funny commercial TioJaime858 (10:56:38 AM): had i TiVO this shit, wouldn't have been as cool TioJaime858 (10:56:42 AM): crunch wrap supreme? TioJaime858 (10:56:45 AM): ooh hi TioJaime858 (10:56:57 AM): that looks good TioJaime858 (10:57:04 AM): ooh victoria's secret commercial!!! TioJaime858 (10:57:13 AM): i would like to see lauren in lingerie TioJaime858 (10:57:18 AM): lauren from beauty and the geek TioJaime858 (10:57:20 AM): eff you google TioJaime858 (10:57:42 AM): and finally, not sur ehow, but most of teh BatG hits yesterday were from lauren beauty and the geek TioJaime858 (10:57:45 AM): no mroe krystal TioJaime858 (10:57:54 AM): well, i guess since she got philiminated that makes sense TioJaime858 (10:58:02 AM): and who the eff is the host supposed to be? TioJaime858 (10:58:08 AM): fast forwarding TioJaime858 (10:59:48 AM): City Loft TioJaime858 (10:59:58 AM): ooh jew-boy moving in on scarlet? TioJaime858 (11:00:17 AM): guys, get phone numbers from chicks TioJaime858 (11:00:24 AM): the most in 30 mins wins TioJaime858 (11:00:44 AM): wow, bill gets an extra number? TioJaime858 (11:00:52 AM): holy shit TioJaime858 (11:01:01 AM): ooh bye lauren TioJaime858 (11:01:28 AM): oh yes the challenge beings right now TioJaime858 (11:01:40 AM): yeah don't approach the underage chicks TioJaime858 (11:01:46 AM): "beg your pardon" TioJaime858 (11:01:57 AM): heh crazy dudes TioJaime858 (11:02:11 AM): yeah ask the old dude TioJaime858 (11:02:17 AM): ooh hi tiffany and michelle TioJaime858 (11:02:28 AM): "got this gooey thing in my ear. it's nasty" LOL TioJaime858 (11:02:49 AM): yeah sure, lie to him TioJaime858 (11:03:04 AM): chuckeroo TioJaime858 (11:03:17 AM): and now he's pretending to be a gay TioJaime858 (11:03:19 AM): LOL TioJaime858 (11:03:29 AM): ooh georgia TioJaime858 (11:03:33 AM): oh great she's filipina TioJaime858 (11:04:03 AM): aww yeah cock blockin' TioJaime858 (11:04:07 AM): ooh hi lauren TioJaime858 (11:04:22 AM): i don't think this'll work in real life TioJaime858 (11:04:27 AM): ooh yeah TioJaime858 (11:04:39 AM): LOL TioJaime858 (11:04:45 AM): she has a husbandTioJaime858 (11:04:57 AM): nice job non-gay bill TioJaime858 (11:05:14 AM): you crazy gay-chuck! TioJaime858 (11:05:21 AM): i think he's defeating the purpose TioJaime858 (11:05:34 AM): LOL no richard don't do that TioJaime858 (11:05:58 AM): talk about the gooey stuff TioJaime858 (11:06:03 AM): scarlet said a bad word TioJaime858 (11:06:07 AM): she needs a spanking TioJaime858 (11:06:36 AM): they should be penalized for fake numbers TioJaime858 (11:06:58 AM): tie in 3rd place TioJaime858 (11:07:00 AM): richard/shawn TioJaime858 (11:07:05 AM): ooh hi scarlet TioJaime858 (11:07:14 AM): i want to spank you TioJaime858 (11:07:19 AM): bill and chuck TioJaime858 (11:07:23 AM): i bet gay chuck wins TioJaime858 (11:07:26 AM): bill w/10 TioJaime858 (11:07:28 AM): chuck.... TioJaime858 (11:07:37 AM): 13! TioJaime858 (11:07:45 AM): too bad he had to pretend to be a gay... TioJaime858 (11:08:21 AM): oh shit, i gotta pick up jeff before meeting lolo and lola for lunch TioJaime858 (11:08:34 AM): oh he's got his cigarette and bandanna TioJaime858 (11:08:43 AM): yay for the jew TioJaime858 (11:08:51 AM): ooh scarlet TioJaime858 (11:08:56 AM): "don't pack" TioJaime858 (11:09:17 AM): ooh yeah scarlet-whore TioJaime858 (11:09:33 AM): ooh goddam scarlet TioJaime858 (11:09:43 AM): kite-ell-in wears the pants TioJaime858 (11:09:53 AM): he's not being injured you krazy jew TioJaime858 (11:10:25 AM): chuck "richard you're an attention whore" TioJaime858 (11:10:52 AM): richard/mindi & bill/lauren TioJaime858 (11:10:55 AM): you bastard TioJaime858 (11:11:01 AM): take that kite-ell-in TioJaime858 (11:11:16 AM): math skills and pickingi up women skills TioJaime858 (11:11:45 AM): ooh numbers like you momma ooh TioJaime858 (11:11:57 AM): firing squad routine TioJaime858 (11:12:03 AM): yeah just beat the crap out of him TioJaime858 (11:12:11 AM): Hate Crime him! TioJaime858 (11:12:27 AM): yeah no shit, well it's because you're a tard TioJaime858 (11:12:31 AM): "don't talk to me, big guy" TioJaime858 (11:13:30 AM): well if it came down to the jew or the Lauren, i'm gonna go w/the lauren TioJaime858 (11:13:48 AM): bill's handicapping themselves @ 90% TioJaime858 (11:13:54 AM): yeah, you're gonna steal scarlet from chuck TioJaime858 (11:13:59 AM): g/l w/that there TioJaime858 (11:14:08 AM): the host's name is brian? TioJaime858 (11:14:17 AM): and mindi wants to shoot richard TioJaime858 (11:14:23 AM): oh hi lauren TioJaime858 (11:14:40 AM): oh hi lauren TioJaime858 (11:15:01 AM): mindi: if a guy gives you 5 dozen roses, how many roses? TioJaime858 (11:15:04 AM): 60 TioJaime858 (11:15:07 AM): ooh yeah momma TioJaime858 (11:15:10 AM): eff you i want lauren to win TioJaime858 (11:15:18 AM): lauren: oh goddam she's cute TioJaime858 (11:15:28 AM): leaving 15% tip, how much on $50 TioJaime858 (11:15:33 AM): ooh yeah TioJaime858 (11:15:36 AM): $7.50 TioJaime858 (11:15:54 AM): mindi: 140lbs and lose 5% of weight, how muhc weigh now TioJaime858 (11:15:55 AM): 13 TioJaime858 (11:15:56 AM): 133 TioJaime858 (11:16:00 AM): nice job, smart chick TioJaime858 (11:16:17 AM): lauren: yard = 3 feet, how many feet in 13 yards TioJaime858 (11:16:25 AM): oh that's easy TioJaime858 (11:16:28 AM): the answer is Cairo TioJaime858 (11:16:32 AM): oops i mena 39 TioJaime858 (11:16:33 AM): mean 39 TioJaime858 (11:16:48 AM): mindi: which is biggest 1/2, 3/8, 2/3 or 4/16 TioJaime858 (11:16:52 AM): ooh nice job TioJaime858 (11:16:55 AM): mindi 3 for 3 TioJaime858 (11:17:12 AM): lauren: $22 shirt $37 pants $45 shoes TioJaime858 (11:17:40 AM): oh goddamit she's hot TioJaime858 (11:17:45 AM): $144 TioJaime858 (11:17:46 AM): d'oh TioJaime858 (11:17:58 AM): oh i just want to buy her things TioJaime858 (11:18:02 AM): and feed her TioJaime858 (11:18:06 AM): FUCK SHE'S SO GODDAM CUTE! TioJaime858 (11:18:46 AM): bill: who should pick up check on first date TioJaime858 (11:18:48 AM): d'oh TioJaime858 (11:18:57 AM): not the guy, but the "asker" TioJaime858 (11:19:04 AM): oh good luck jew-dude TioJaime858 (11:19:11 AM): oh no! wait lauren is one question way! TioJaime858 (11:19:34 AM): what's this 20% shit? TioJaime858 (11:19:39 AM): you fucker TioJaime858 (11:19:50 AM): you philiminated lauren! TioJaime858 (11:19:52 AM): you fucker! TioJaime858 (11:19:55 AM): now i hate you TioJaime858 (11:20:06 AM): richard has kissed two girls TioJaime858 (11:20:07 AM): you fucker TioJaime858 (11:20:10 AM): YOU PIGFUCKER TioJaime858 (11:20:42 AM): yeah it's the first time because this is the goddam first iteration of this lame show TioJaime858 (11:20:47 AM): shit good buy lauren TioJaime858 (11:20:52 AM): ooh hi TioJaime858 (11:21:10 AM): ooh hi lauren TioJaime858 (11:21:22 AM): eff you you jew TioJaime858 (11:21:34 AM): oh bill was the civil engineer TioJaime858 (11:21:41 AM): fuck you priceless commercial TioJaime858 (11:21:54 AM): commercial TioJaime858 (11:22:01 AM): stay chuned for scenes from our next episode TioJaime858 (11:22:29 AM): ooh yueah TioJaime858 (11:22:39 AM): i want to be a part of the social experiment TioJaime858 (11:22:45 AM): next time.... TioJaime858 (11:23:23 AM): how does hiking have anything to do w/being hot or smart? TioJaime858 (11:23:36 AM): and chuckeroo cusses @ the jew! TioJaime858 (11:23:42 AM): ooh i like that TioJaime858 has left the chat room.

Worktime Hijinks!

OK that was kinda funny, you gotta admit that...

Here are some jobs available on CL! You thought it was funny when the SHoP went through CL personals? (here and here and here and here and here) Well, welcome to the SF Bay Area because employers are just as twisted.

Oh what bay aryans will do for money... or what they'll pay for. sick pukes.

Good Vibrations Assistant Store Manager (2 positions available)
This would be OK if it wasn't old, hippie bay area Can't Understand Normal Thinkings. And no, Delta Gamma won't appreciate you sniffing their purchases as you're ringing them up...

$25/hr GOSPEL PIANIST NEEDED FOR BLACK-LED SAN JOSE CHURCH
We're all thinking it, so I'll just go ahead and say it. Go to the audition doing your best Grand Kleagle Robert Byrd impersonation. Wow them with your lynching piano prowess

Athletic Models for new Yoga Business
Don't they normally post these under the Casual Encounters section? Why not stop beating around the bush and just ask for the sex already?

CHANGE SOMEONE'S LIFE...BE AN EGG DONOR. $5500 to $6500 PAID
OK I'm filipino. I don't smoke. I'm sorta 26. I'm mature and responsible. I have moments of maturity and responsibility. And man oh man do I have gobs of free time. It doesn't say that I need to be a woman, only that "women who are egg donors find the experience relatively easy and immensely rewarding". See that's not all egg donors are women, it's not even all women are egg donors.

The Lusty Lady Theater is Hiring
Comedic timing trumps all. I can't stage this shit, I can only point you towards it.

all my love,
Jihad Jimmy, Minister of War Crimes and Chief Defender of the Faith

ps- also some more CL hijinks here, but jimmy-style!
pps- and here's the bay area's response! actually i think this is the first occurrence of the Ministry of Truth, and it doesn't even refer to SixHertz!