Slow morning here at Schmunderrgrowwnd Konstruckshun. I have to set two estimates up, due Thurs-dee and Fri-dee, but best to stretch these out to last awhile. I was gonna dilute them with blogging. This seems to do the trick.
Some early morning (early for CA, nobody's awake on my AIM buddy list except for my med school friend in New Orleans whose sister I would like to hump) blogosphere returns for you...
Found Rightwingsparkle via Speed of Thought. And since i'm writing this in M$ Outlook, I'm gonna feel stupid if RWS is in the SHoP blogroll... survey says... Oh! ding ding ding! I'm not an idiot! well at least not today...
Anycrap, short post on RWS. Quite frankly, my analysis of the topics introduced during her post will likely be longer than the post itself. Already we're Toeing the Line. And seriously, read RWS's links otherwise you're just another dumb SHoPper who's not gonna understand this post because you weren't listening to me and following simple instructions.
I'll wait. Take your time.
...
Patricia Heaton: HAWT. and ooh she's a pro-lifer! Unfortunately, the last i remember of her was her chiseled face towards the end of Raymond. Boo for cosmetic surgery.
Dope-rah and William Faulkner: Normally, I'm totally one to search out LIbEral condescension. Find much joy do I by finding seemingly holier-than-thou LIbEralS and then demonstrating point-for-point exactly why l'il ole Republican me is smarter than their faux-intelligentsia LIbEral schtick.
And I'm the stupid one, here in the SHoP.
So yes. I hate condenscending LIbEralS just as much as you do, but this time I think this one hit the nail on the head. If these stupid Dope-rah desperate housefraus are too stupid to figure out the "SLOWER TRAFFIC KEEP RIGHT" signs on the road, ain't no fucking way they'll be able to understand the literary mind-puking that is The Sound and the Fury. I read it in high school, a semester before my parents traded their first-born son to the College of Engineering in exchange for a cow and magic beans. If it wasn't for the head of the English department holding my pre-engineer hand through Benjy Compson's nonsensical tard ramblings, holy shit I would've started taking illicit drugs in an attempt to understand this non-engineer-friendly book.
Many moons after the fact, I tried reading Absalom, Absalom! on the bus in seattle-- partially to read something of literary value and partially in the hopes of meeting a flighty humanities major with glasses. This lasted all of a week. More wacky stream-of-consciousness shit? Yeah thanks but no thanks. I quickly picked up a Dale Brown novel. Cool Air Force shit, shooting terrorists' shit up, FUCK YEAH.
So, in spite of being the stupid one here in the SHoP, the average Dope-rah disciple can't match intellects w/me. Don't think about this, just accept it as fact. Save yourself the ten seconds it'll take you to reach the same conclusion. So if stupid ole Jimmy can't understand Faulkner w/o his english teacher and Cliff's Notes spelling it out for him, how can we expect a dumb housefrau to do any better? Even one w/her MRS degree?
Here. Here's a snippet from The Sound and the Fury. You tell me if your mom can understand it.
Kinda makes you wanna make out in the engineering library stacks w/that cute blonde from your surveying class, huh?
one minute she was standing there the next he was yelling and pulling at her dress they went into the hall and up the stairs yelling and shoving at her up the stairs to the bathroom door and stopped her back against the door and her arm across her face yelling and trying to shove her into the bathroom when she came in to supper T. P. was feeding him he started again just whimpering at first until she touched him then he yelled she stood there her eyes like cornered rats then I was running in the gray darkness it smelled of rain and all flower scents the damp warm air released and crickets sawing away in the grass pacing me with a small travelling island of silence Fancy watched me across the fence blotchy like a quilt on a line I thought damn that nigger he forgot to feed her again I ran down the hill in that vacuum of crickets like a breath travelling across a mirror she was lying in the water her head on the sand spit the water flowing about her hips there was a little more light in the water her skirt half saturated flopped along her flanks to the waters motion in heavy ripples going nowhere renewed themselves of their own movement I stood on the bank I could smell the honeysuckle on the water gap the air seemed to drizzle with honeysuckle and with the rasping of crickets a substance you could feel
on the flesh
is Benjy still crying
I dont know yes I dont know
poor Benjy
I sat down on the bank the crass was damn a little then I found my shoes wet
get out of that water are you crazy
but she didnt move her face was a white blur framed out of the blur of the sand by her hair
get out now
she sat up then she rose her skirt flopped against her draining she climbed the bank her clothes flopping sat down
why dont you wring it out do you want to catch cold
yes
the water sucked and gurgled across the sand spit and on in the dark among the willows across the shallow the water rippled like a piece of cloth holding still a little light as water does
hes crossed all the oceans all around the world
then she talked about him clasping her wet knees her face tilted back in the gray light the smell of honeysuckle there was a light in mothers room and in Benjys where T. P. was putting him to bed
do you love him
her hand came out I didnt move it fumbled down my arm and she held my hand flat against her chest her heart thudding
no no
did he make you then he made you do it let him he was stronger than you and he tomorrow Ill kill him I swear I will father neednt know until afterward and then you and I nobody need ever know we can take my school money we can cancel my matriculation Caddy you hate him dont you dont you
she held my hand against her chest her heart thudding I turned and caught her arm
Caddy you hate him dont you
she moved my hand up against her throat her heart was hammering there
poor Quentin
her face looked at the sky it was low so low that all smells and sounds of night seemed to have been crowded down like under a slack tent especially the honeysuckle it had got into my breathing it was on her face and throat like paint her blood pounded against my hand I was leaning on my other arm it began to jerk and jump and I had to pant to get any air at all out of that thick gray honeysuckle
yes I hate him I would die for him Ive already died for him I die for him over and over again everytime this goes
when I lifted my hand I could still feel crisscrossed twigs and grass burning into the palm
poor Quentin
she leaned back on her arms her hands locked about her knees
youve never done that have you
what done what
that what I have what I did
yes yes lots of times with lots of girls
then I was crying her hand touched me again and I was crying against her damp blouse then she lying on her back looking past my head into the sky I could see a rim of white under her irises I opened my knife do you remember the day damuddy died when you sat down in the water in your drawers
Again, found RWS through Speed of Thought. The latter had the former's post trackbacked. And ha ha, this makes total and complete sense. I forget the figure of aborted Democrats now, but it was something like 36 million? Shit if i know and the internet's down right now. But just to twist your noodle (heh): a) the deathtoll is something on the order of the population of the state of California and b) yes, a good majority of these aborted kids would've grown up democrud and would've cast uninformed democrud votes against us. Despite that apparent advantage, abortion is still pretty genocidal. We should have bill clinton get another lab and then launch cruise missiles to distract us.
Kinda stupid huh? Realize that all the democruds that were aborted before 1982 probably would've given Gore enough votes in some key precincts in 2000. Heh. Nice job w/that there. Dumbfucks.
This astounds me. When they're not taxing themselves into destitution or disarming themselves and their military to the point of helplessness, the Democruds are aborting themselves into political insignificance. Poor, stupid bastards. And then they wonder why nobody wants them to run the country.
Poor, stupid, deluded, narrow-minded bastards. Wow, the Republican called you assholes "narrow-minded". Man, how it must Suck to be You.
Welcome to Downtown Dumbass, population: You.
go suck a cock on the golden gate bridge,
Jihad Jimmy, Minister of War Crimes and Chief Defender of the Faith
Ok w/that insult out of the way, I can resume addressing the General Assembly of the SHoP. The rest of this post was going to discuss various posts I'd encountered in my early morning holding-pattern at work. But the internet is down. Still. Unless you want to hear my criticisms of Ess-Bee-See's wacky bid requests, we're at an impasse.
I can't even Publish this. And i can't even Preview this.
well, i'm out of stuff.
Tio Jaime
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