I'm gonna play the NorCal card again, for the benefit of the one or two SHoPpers who don't know that I live among a bunch of LIbEral SF Bay Aryans who shun single Republicans. Nevermind with complete stranger-retards, Jihad Jimmy has been in many an argument with his closest friends about the War and about various delusional things like how "iraq had nothing to do with terrorists" or how "i was being duped by a conservative media conspiracy". By my own fucking friends, too. Great. Also an Orange County ex, OCDs.
How are they still my friends? Well, by the nature of her jimmy-appointed nickname, OCDs is plesant to look at. That's a no brainer. The others? They fit into the jimmy-scheme some way or another. Go read the archives.
In any case, the debate inevitably turns to "if you like war so much, why don't you go?" To which my response is usually, "I'm a fatass who wouldn't make it past Basic for officers." Is that enough? for now, yes. Wizbang! talks about this very confrontation, and as such led me to a cool analogy. But first, the Wizbang! post...
Not that I've come across a Bay Aryan with balls enough to call me a "fucking coward". And when I do, one of you SHoPpers needs to come down to San Fran-fucking-cisco and bail my republican ass out of jail.
Excerpt from Wizbang!'s I'd rather be a chickenhawk than a chickensh*t Let's see how this normally plays out:
A: "I believe that the war in Iraq was necessary."
B: "I believe that the war in Iraq was wrong."
A: "I've looked into this extensively. Because of A, B, C, D, and E, the war became the least worst option."
B: "If you believe that the war is such a good thing, then why aren't you over there fighting it yourself, you fucking coward?"
Here's the Jihad Jimmy reason: It's not my job. Plain and simple. If we can reach back to Catholic elementary school religion lessons, think vocation. And no, vocation doesn't necessarily mean a religious order, vocation means religious order, or married life or single life. Your "calling", if that'll make you feel better.
It's not my calling to serve my nation in that capacity. Yet. Or if ever at all. If the War comes to the point where they need engineers like me and they're willing to relax some requirements, then dude, sign me up and gimme a sidearm! But for right now, there are plenty of people-- red or blue, right or left, conservative or liberal, republican or democrud-- who do have that calling and who will serve the nation.
The question isn't so much about my courageousness as would be my ineptitude in a military unit. I want us to win this war, which is ironically enough one of the reasons you shouldn't sign me up and gimme a sidearm. I suck at war, even the kinds where you can invert your y-axis or cover your chokepoints with Terran Bunkers.
Still not following? Here's the analogy... I love the San Francisco Giants, right? "Well, if you love them so much, why don't you pick up a bat and step in the box? You fucking coward!" OK and just imagine how well that would turn out. Same principle, you fuckrods-- I can be on the side that hates the dodgers w/o actually having to face that canadian tool Gagne.
But what do we have, 1 million or 2 million soldiers in Iraq? Out of a population of over 350 million Americans? This just confirms what we already knew about our soldiers, sailors, marines and airmen: they're an elite slice of the population which, fortunately for our civilian asses, comprises the bad-assest fighting force with our interests and survival in mind.
Would you want to see me on the field at SBC? Only about as much as you'd want Omar Vizquel running a schedule-sensitive and budget-sensitive construction project. There's a reason Felipe Alou doesn't take just any jerk out of the 5 million or so Giants fans and stick him in the 25-man roster. We don't all have the calling.
SHoPpers, you pissed because an idea this simple had to be spelled out letter-for-letter? Good. You should be. Now copy the permalink and e-mail it to your politically retarded liberal friends. At the very least you'll get a kick out of seeing their faces when they read the post title.
all my love,
Jihad Jimmy, Minister of War Crimes and Chief Defender of the Faith
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