Worktime Hijinks!

OK that was kinda funny, you gotta admit that...

Here are some jobs available on CL! You thought it was funny when the SHoP went through CL personals? (here and here and here and here and here) Well, welcome to the SF Bay Area because employers are just as twisted.

Oh what bay aryans will do for money... or what they'll pay for. sick pukes.

Good Vibrations Assistant Store Manager (2 positions available)
This would be OK if it wasn't old, hippie bay area Can't Understand Normal Thinkings. And no, Delta Gamma won't appreciate you sniffing their purchases as you're ringing them up...

$25/hr GOSPEL PIANIST NEEDED FOR BLACK-LED SAN JOSE CHURCH
We're all thinking it, so I'll just go ahead and say it. Go to the audition doing your best Grand Kleagle Robert Byrd impersonation. Wow them with your lynching piano prowess

Athletic Models for new Yoga Business
Don't they normally post these under the Casual Encounters section? Why not stop beating around the bush and just ask for the sex already?

CHANGE SOMEONE'S LIFE...BE AN EGG DONOR. $5500 to $6500 PAID
OK I'm filipino. I don't smoke. I'm sorta 26. I'm mature and responsible. I have moments of maturity and responsibility. And man oh man do I have gobs of free time. It doesn't say that I need to be a woman, only that "women who are egg donors find the experience relatively easy and immensely rewarding". See that's not all egg donors are women, it's not even all women are egg donors.

The Lusty Lady Theater is Hiring
Comedic timing trumps all. I can't stage this shit, I can only point you towards it.

all my love,
Jihad Jimmy, Minister of War Crimes and Chief Defender of the Faith

ps- also some more CL hijinks here, but jimmy-style!
pps- and here's the bay area's response! actually i think this is the first occurrence of the Ministry of Truth, and it doesn't even refer to SixHertz!