Got this from OTW Mark...
Cabbies on edge as penalties begin
Interesting. Their interpretation of ISLAM is so RADICAL (and gnarly, and bodacious, and awesome, and any other superlative from the Reagan Administration of your choosing) that it seeks to disrupt the American Way of Life there in the heartland. Nevermind that "Islam prohibits the consumption of alcohol but not its transportation", oh no no no. Gotta test the waters. Gotta have a couple of dry runs to see exactly just what you can get away with. Gotta see just how far backwards the American Anti-Semitic Left will bend over to accomodate you so you can catch us off guard.
This is of particular interest to your favorite SHoP Overlord Tio Jaime as I am likely leaving the land of Blue State Fuck-ups for Minneapolis before the pennant race heats up. If the Foxtrot-India-Alpha-November-Charlie-Echo-Echo had her way, I'd be there before the All-Star Break.
(Which takes place this year, ironically enough, a mere twenty minutes away from Fort Tio Jaime.)
The conflict seems to be as such: Muslims like living in America. (Allah knows why. They seem to hate the Great Satan and all that she stands for.) Non-muslims in America want nothing more than to co-exist with all the diversity around them. These two seem to be mutually exclusive, what with Muslims not wanting to scan frozen pizzas with pepperoni at target, or drive you home from MSP if you have wine. And all of us normal, non-jihad-o-licious Americans just want to get rung up or driven home.
So here's my solution. And this should work wonders, what with Muslims free to exercise their peaceful religion without inconveniencing Little Sally Housefrau, and Joe American not having to worry about trying to scan his own bacon...
Require all Muslims who fear encroachment upon their religion to wear a Star and Crescent on their clothing
This way, let's say I'm making my way up to the cash registers at the Super Target with those Ham and Cheese Hot Pockets (which supposedly I love so very much). I see a cashier in full burka with a Star and Crescent sewn in right below her nametag-- Hagar.Whoops. Let's not go to her completely empty checkstand, and let's go to the one right next to hers. Oh wait, another muslim cashier? But this one seems not to be perturbed by the idea of ringing up my hot pockets. Oh, and I have coupons.
Did you follow that? See, instead of going all hitler-tastic on you and requiring all Muslims to wear the Star and Crescent... I'm only recommending it for those who want to make a big stink about the Religious aspects of interacting with infidels such as myself.
Oh, and Muslims everywhere? They support the DH. Every single one of them. WTF. How would they feel if the 72 virgins actually turned out to be 64 virgins with whom you got to have unbridled sex and commit crime-against-nature acts in the afterlife... and 8 who only gave you incomplete handjobs leaving you to finish yourself off while looking at a completely different set of 8?
I'm gonna stand by that analogy. Divide by 8 and you'll see what I'm trying to say.
Jihad Jimmy
Commissioner, SHoP Department of Recreational Sport (Non-nude)
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