There's a difference between the immigrants of today and yesterday...

I don't seem to remember reading in history books the same thing of Irish or Chinese immigrants to this country:

American Muslims Justify Suicide Attacks and are Al Qaida Sympathizers

If you look at the numbers at the bottom of the page, they're kind of misleading. Let me make them a bit more tangible (emphasis mine):

Only 5 percent of U.S. Muslims expressed favorable views of the terrorist group al-Qaida, though about a fourth did not express an opinion.

ONLY? ONLY?? That's a pretty goddamn big number! And if you believe the bullshit about 1/4 not having an opinion? 30% of 2.35 MILLION US Muslims is larger than the city of Boston, MA. Tell me this isn't a problem.

Only 40 percent said they believe Arab men carried out the attacks of Sept. 11, 2001.

There we go with this 'only' bullshit again. The AP is stupid. Unbelievable. If you actually believe a conspiracy can be perpetrated on this type of scale, you're a fucking moron.

Just over half said it has been harder being a U.S. Muslim since the 9/11 attacks, especially the better educated, higher income, more religious and young. Nearly a third of those who flew in the past year say they underwent extra screening because they are Muslim.

Umm...everyone has undergone extra screening even if they weren't Muslim. But judging from your beliefs in this poll, I'm for anal-probing at airports for all you pro-suicide-bombing, Al-Qaida-loving pigs.

Telephone interviews were conducted with 1,050 Muslim adults from January through April, including some in Arabic, Urdu and Farsi. Subjects were chosen at random, from a separate list of households including some with Muslim-sounding names, and from Muslim households that had participated in previous surveys.

So, you're telling me it's okay for the Pew Research Center to racially profile people? Oh, it's okay because you're a liberal, "progressive" organization?? How convenient. Now, if only they'd do the logical thing at airports.

The cognitive dissonance of liberals is appalling.

More SHoP chat with Professor Shewseffi

PREVIOUSLY ON THE SHoP...

The SHoP weighs in on Virginia Tech
I AM A BADASS BUDDING RADIOPHILE
Eastmost Peninsula is the Secret
You're on the air with KJIMMY
DRY MOIST HUMP LOAF
I AM STILL A BADASS BUDDING RADIOPHILE
Take a shit on my Radio-Parade, why don't you...
BOYCOTT FREEFM 106.9 KIFR!!!
Back to the Basics...
Ya got two hours. No excuses this time.
A pukefest carousel for your ears!

THE FOLLOWING TAKES PLACE BETWEEN 11:00 AM AND 12:00 PM.

EVENTS OCCUR IN REAL TIME.

---

Ahh herro! More rov-ery chat with Orientarr Citizen SHoPper Professor Shewseffi. We were talking about some camcorder on sale online. I was asking advice. Not because he's Oriental and electronically inclined, but if that'll help you sleep better at night, go right ahead and think so...

Dude, i hate you. and debauchery. and deceitful charlatans.

ProfShewseffi (1:49:20 PM): get it! JihadJimmyMWCCDF (1:49:30 PM): too late it's gone ProfShewseffi (1:50:11 PM): aw man ProfShewseffi (1:50:12 PM): you suck JihadJimmyMWCCDF (1:50:29 PM): WTF you're the one who dragged your heels JihadJimmyMWCCDF (1:50:37 PM): by the time you told me to buy it it was sold out ProfShewseffi (1:51:20 PM): fuck you cho seung hui! ProfShewseffi (1:51:27 PM): you had a million chances to buy it ProfShewseffi (1:51:32 PM): but you chose to spill my time ProfShewseffi (1:51:42 PM): your camera was not enough you snobs ProfShewseffi (1:51:57 PM): my time was not enough you punk JihadJimmyMWCCDF (1:52:01 PM): Dude, i hate you. and debauchery. and deceitful charlatans. JihadJimmyMWCCDF (1:52:24 PM): WTF KIND OF STUPID ORIENTAL USES THE PHRASE "DECEITFUL CHARLATANS?" JihadJimmyMWCCDF (1:52:32 PM): except one that needs an ass-kicking? ProfShewseffi (1:53:45 PM): HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

It sucks that he ate his own 9mm before somebody could pistol whip some sense into this kid. I'm not jumping onto some bandwagon here, you'll notice. I would've recommended a pistol whipping even if he hadn't shot 32 debaucherous, deceitful charlatans.

looks like someone put some hallucinogen in his daily kimchee dosage that caused him to go bonkers

ProfShewseffi (1:53:47 PM): fucking orientals ProfShewseffi (1:53:54 PM): damn kim park hong su cho choi ProfShewseffi (1:54:13 PM): looks like someone put some hallucinogen in his daily kimchee dosage that caused him to go bonkers JihadJimmyMWCCDF (1:54:39 PM): that crazy fucker ProfShewseffi (1:55:03 PM): hey in some sick twisted way ProfShewseffi (1:55:06 PM): he did asians a favor ProfShewseffi (1:55:08 PM): i mean ProfShewseffi (1:55:11 PM): i do not want ppl to die ProfShewseffi (1:55:36 PM): but he showed the world that asians arent just passive fuckers who do math all day JihadJimmyMWCCDF (1:55:26 PM): LOL JihadJimmyMWCCDF (1:55:28 PM): i guess so JihadJimmyMWCCDF (1:55:34 PM): http://video.google.com/url?docid=-72185487...6kpxSPgg ProfShewseffi (1:55:49 PM): we are some crazy gun-toting republican motherfuckers compton style JihadJimmyMWCCDF (1:55:45 PM): "we" as in orientals, or "we" as in you and me? ProfShewseffi (1:56:43 PM): orientals

The Professor brings up an interesting point. I've been tempted to play the "crazed, gun-toting, loner Oriental kid" card recently on some of these irritable Liberals who go through life racked with White Guilt here in the Blue State Frontier. God knows they're on edge nowadays because they let their tolerance get in the way of their common sense.

Or it could be that THE PURSWADER talks to me, the way that John London's switchblade Mr. Sticky talks to him on the show. And there, that's two more post labels to add.

Except that, shit, now I have to add the Jack Bauer recaps.

One more label: SANDRA BULLOCK'S NIPPY-NIPS

This next excerpt references the Mad TV clip linked above. Watch it, it's funny.

you sure it was him or some other oriental dude who looked like him?

JihadJimmyMWCCDF (1:57:03 PM): FREEE-ZUH!!! L.A.P.D.-UH!!! ProfShewseffi (1:58:11 PM): AW SOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO JihadJimmyMWCCDF (1:59:30 PM): see, these orientals are funny ProfShewseffi (1:59:56 PM): HAHAHAHAH bobby lee ProfShewseffi (1:59:59 PM): he did one before ProfShewseffi (2:00:01 PM): another 24 ProfShewseffi (2:00:25 PM): hahahahahhah ProfShewseffi (2:01:49 PM): HAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!!! ProfShewseffi (2:03:45 PM): did you know that john cho went to Cal? JihadJimmyMWCCDF (2:03:38 PM): no shit! ProfShewseffi (2:03:56 PM): yeah ProfShewseffi (2:04:05 PM): he graduated in 99? 2000? ProfShewseffi (2:04:09 PM): i saw him on campus a few times ProfShewseffi (2:04:12 PM): before he got famous JihadJimmyMWCCDF (2:04:13 PM): you sure it was him or some other oriental dude who looked like him? ProfShewseffi (2:04:35 PM): yeah it was him JihadJimmyMWCCDF (2:04:38 PM): OK i was being sarcastic ProfShewseffi (2:04:58 PM): hhahhaha ProfShewseffi (2:04:59 PM): i know JihadJimmyMWCCDF (2:06:08 PM): LOL check this out JihadJimmyMWCCDF (2:06:21 PM): i searched for "john cho wikipedia" JihadJimmyMWCCDF (2:06:21 PM): http://www.blingo.com/search?q=john+cho+wikipedia&sourceid=firefox&s=0&s=0 JihadJimmyMWCCDF (2:06:26 PM): look what the second result is JihadJimmyMWCCDF (2:06:41 PM): LOL oh shit, john cho was an english major! ProfShewseffi (2:07:19 PM): they all are ProfShewseffi (2:07:21 PM): damn koreans ProfShewseffi (2:11:07 PM): ya know... in light of all of this convo ProfShewseffi (2:11:18 PM): we are justified to make racist comments against orientals ProfShewseffi (2:11:25 PM): because i, too, am an oriental JihadJimmyMWCCDF (2:11:15 PM): oh yes as am i

If I can get Professor Shewseffi to embrace Oriental as the preferred nomenclature, I'll have made great inroads on my latest project in political incorrectness.

we're the mexicans of the orient

JihadJimmyMWCCDF (2:12:38 PM): http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Model_minority JihadJimmyMWCCDF (2:14:33 PM): whoa sweet, us lazy filipinos aren't considered a "model minority" ProfShewseffi (2:15:22 PM): you guys are considered the mah-dur puckers ProfShewseffi (2:15:30 PM): in your balik bayan boxes JihadJimmyMWCCDF (2:15:22 PM): we're the mexicans of the orient ProfShewseffi (2:16:27 PM): that's right ProfShewseffi (2:16:39 PM): and anything below the region of hong kong ProfShewseffi (2:16:48 PM): they are the skidmarks on the underpants of asia

Mexicans of the Pacific Rim, Uncle Toms of the Pacific Rim. Pick 'em, I gots racial invectives galore!

Not that "Mexican" is a racial invective. It just has those connotations. Ask the Daily Californian. They edited one of my letters to the editor which referred to my Mexican friend who was running for some stupid political office for some stupid student government. She was Mexican, I've met her parents. But no, the Daily Cal had to change Mexican to Hispanic.

Not sure when or how perfectly good words like "Mexican" or "Jew" became politically incorrect. But now that they are, I'm more inclined to use them. Heh.

i knew that conversation looked familiar

ProfShewseffi (2:19:08 PM): sometimes i think that we have the funniest conversations ProfShewseffi (2:19:08 PM): hahahahaha ProfShewseffi (2:19:11 PM): very noteworthy ProfShewseffi (2:19:15 PM): and worth saving JihadJimmyMWCCDF (2:19:05 PM): that's why i put them up on the SHoP ProfShewseffi (2:19:27 PM): HAHAHAH JihadJimmyMWCCDF (2:25:14 PM): did you see the last time you made the SHoP? ProfShewseffi (2:25:47 PM): yeah i did ProfShewseffi (2:25:48 PM): just saw it ProfShewseffi (2:25:49 PM): ahhahahaah ProfShewseffi (2:25:51 PM): the OC ProfShewseffi (2:25:53 PM): ahahhahahaha!!! ProfShewseffi (2:25:55 PM): and our convo ProfShewseffi (2:26:02 PM): i knew that conversation looked familiar

Maybe if i'm not too lazy, I'll post up some more permalinks to Professor Shewseffi's earlier SHoP appearances.

Jihad Jimmy, Minister of War Crimes and Chief Defender of the Faith

The SHoP weighs in on Virginia Tech

PREVIOUSLY ON THE SHoP...

The SHoP weighs in on sexual predatorialosity (???)

THE FOLLOWING TAKES PLACE BETWEEN 2:00 PM AND 4:00 PM.

EVENTS OCCUR IN REAL TIME.

---

You've probably heard all the shit on the Left and all the shit on the Right about that crazy little fucker down in Virginia Tech...

...but have you heard two, real-life Orientals talk about the shootings??? I didn't think so.

So here you go. Don't say your favorite SHoP Overlord Tio Jaime never did anything for you.

WTF kind of korean kid takes english?!?

JihadJimmyMWCCDF (2:53:05 PM): yo dude ProfShewseffi (2:53:43 PM): i know ProfShewseffi (2:53:47 PM): ballistic koreans ProfShewseffi (2:53:56 PM): gun toting kimchee eatingmother fucker JihadJimmyMWCCDF (2:53:26 PM): I KNOW!!! JihadJimmyMWCCDF (2:53:37 PM): here's the problem right here... JihadJimmyMWCCDF (2:53:40 PM): i know why he was pissed JihadJimmyMWCCDF (2:53:48 PM): he wanted to go Berkeley CE JihadJimmyMWCCDF (2:53:54 PM): but couldn't get in ProfShewseffi (2:54:31 PM): HAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAHHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!!!!!!!!! JihadJimmyMWCCDF (2:53:58 PM): and instead had to go to VA Tech JihadJimmyMWCCDF (2:54:02 PM): and take up english ProfShewseffi (2:54:44 PM): didn't we whoop them in football last season JihadJimmyMWCCDF (2:54:11 PM): WTF kind of korean kid takes english?!? ProfShewseffi (2:54:49 PM): like a preseason type game? JihadJimmyMWCCDF (2:54:27 PM): in a fucking BOWL GAME, motherfucker!!! JihadJimmyMWCCDF (2:54:29 PM): GO BEARS! ProfShewseffi (2:55:08 PM): OHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH ProfShewseffi (2:55:17 PM): which bowl was it? ProfShewseffi (2:55:21 PM): las vegas? JihadJimmyMWCCDF (2:54:50 PM): umm, maybe? JihadJimmyMWCCDF (2:54:54 PM): no LV bowl was BYU JihadJimmyMWCCDF (2:55:07 PM): some bowl in el paso? sun bowl? ProfShewseffi (2:55:43 PM): we played A&M last season ProfShewseffi (2:55:48 PM): Ohhh 2 years ago? ProfShewseffi (2:55:51 PM): 2 bowls prior? JihadJimmyMWCCDF (2:55:18 PM): yah i think so ProfShewseffi (2:55:57 PM): 2004?? ProfShewseffi (2:55:59 PM): nooo ProfShewseffi (2:56:06 PM): we lost in 2004 to Tex Tech JihadJimmyMWCCDF (2:55:34 PM): fuck if i know, all these stupid bowl games get confusing now JihadJimmyMWCCDF (2:55:46 PM): i liked it when we went 2-10 but still beat $C

Oh, I guess I forgot to mention that we're both Republican?

Well, really, did you expect any less here at the SHoP?

Well, so we (Professor Shewseffi and myself) are two oriental republicans who don't really like orientals. God only knows how we made it through Berkeley engineering. It sure as fuck didn't help that Coach Tom and our squad of pre-Tedford Golden Bears sucked.

and when i saw him, i ran behind a chair

ProfShewseffi (2:59:50 PM): one of my roommates is a fobby korean ProfShewseffi (2:59:54 PM): like "harro" type korean JihadJimmyMWCCDF (2:59:23 PM): dude, uncool ProfShewseffi (3:00:03 PM): and when i saw him, i ran behind a chair ProfShewseffi (3:00:06 PM): and acted scared JihadJimmyMWCCDF (2:59:35 PM): chinese, japanese, vietnamese guys i'm OK with JihadJimmyMWCCDF (2:59:40 PM): but not koreans JihadJimmyMWCCDF (2:59:47 PM): oh man, that's fucking HILARIOUS

This also means we're allowed to make oriental jokes.

Well, shit, you all can too. But it's funnier when we do it. Our eyes are already somewhat slanted. And now you have insight as to which orientals are really the crazy ones.

yeah, nice job you stupid virginian fuckers
JihadJimmyMWCCDF (3:01:29 PM): http://mitchieville.blogspot.com/2007/04/bill-1572-and-virginia-tech-spokesman.html JihadJimmyMWCCDF (3:01:38 PM): yeah, nice job you stupid virginian fuckers ProfShewseffi (3:02:55 PM): wow JihadJimmyMWCCDF (3:02:36 PM): could've avoided some of this...

If I wasn't such a lazy ass, I'd post a useful link right here... oh fuck me, fine, here you go... Foreshadowing Tragedy at Virginia Tech by Lars Larson, courtesy OTW Mark

and really
JihadJimmyMWCCDF (3:02:38 PM): and really JihadJimmyMWCCDF (3:02:54 PM): why is everybody making such a big deal out of the bomb threats there from a few weeks ago? JihadJimmyMWCCDF (3:02:58 PM): it's a fucking college JihadJimmyMWCCDF (3:03:07 PM): there are bomb threats during midterms ProfShewseffi (3:04:30 PM): HHAHAHAHAHAH

At Berkeley, there at one point was like 27 fire alarms pulled all at once during midterms. It was some stupdi protest against some affirmative action referendum that the Californians voted down. Typical whiny hippie wannabe-revolutionaries, they pulled 27 fire alarms. I don't remember the exact number, but it was whatever number the proposition was. Stupid fucking hippies.

the police did their jobs

JihadJimmyMWCCDF (3:04:05 PM): if this had happened at berkeley? JihadJimmyMWCCDF (3:04:21 PM): some dude could *easily* have shot people at the Units JihadJimmyMWCCDF (3:04:31 PM): then walked over to evans hall and started shooting people JihadJimmyMWCCDF (3:04:36 PM): chained the doors shut JihadJimmyMWCCDF (3:04:42 PM): there's nothing anybody could've done JihadJimmyMWCCDF (3:04:59 PM): the police did their jobs ProfShewseffi (3:06:24 PM): ahhahahahaahhaha JihadJimmyMWCCDF (3:06:34 PM): gun control wouldn't have prevented Full Metal Gook from getting that glock 9 or that .22 JihadJimmyMWCCDF (3:08:42 PM): fuckin' english major JihadJimmyMWCCDF (3:09:01 PM): go watch a fucking artsy-fartsy movie or something ProfShewseffi (3:10:05 PM): ya those gun activists are having a field day with this one ProfShewseffi (3:10:18 PM): they fail to realize that if someone really wanted tomsething ProfShewseffi (3:10:21 PM): they can get it on the black market JihadJimmyMWCCDF (3:10:09 PM): yah would a handgun ban have prevented this? JihadJimmyMWCCDF (3:10:26 PM): the CA waiting period wouldn't have prevented this

I don't want to rehash what the internet already did, anymore than I just did in that chat above. And also, ha ha, I reserve the right to delete comments. I'll delete ones that don't specifically address the whole oriental thing. Or comments that I just don't like.

Jihad Jimmy, Minister of War Crimes and Chief Defender of the Faith

ps- THE PURSWADER says hello. But don't worry. He loves debauchery and deceitful charlatans.
pps- Hmm, aforementioned jabs at english majors aside, yes, Citizen SHoPper OTW Mark was an english major, if memory serves me correctly. But 1) he wasn't some crazy oriental who wrote shitty plays, and 2) he wasn't taking english at VA Tech. For these reasons alone, this is why we have no disdain for him. Go check out his site. There's a link above.

Thanks to all you Little Brains who were so fucking excited about Snakes on a Plane

This is wonderful. For fuck's sake, just STFU and stop protesting useless shit. Pick your battles! Who gives a fuck what a PBS documentary says or doesn't say about Mexi-soldiers? Mexicans don't watch PBS!

HOLY FUCK ME IN THE GOAT ASS NOBODY WATCHES PBS!!!

But no, over some stupid perceived loss or injustice or wrong committed against Mexi-dudes who are watching Sabado Gigante, now they're making Ken Burns himself (for whom an entire graphical rendering is named) take suggestions about his documentary because it didn't include enough Mexi-stories?

PBS to add Latino voices to WWII series

Why Snakes on a Plane, you Little Brains might ask? Well shit, that was the movie that was going to be so stupid that people were going to enjoy it because it was stupid, right? Wonderful marketing. At least other campy movies took themselves seriously. At first.

But what was one of the cool retarded things about SoaP? Oh the producers added shit in at the request of you dumbfuck Little Brains. Thanks for setting such a shitty precedent.

I've always maintained that we have way too many directors and whoever else, but let me qualify that by saying that those that are around are necessary. Let them do their fucking jobs already.

Jihad Jimmy, Minister of War Crimes and Chief Defender of the Faith

<gratuitousnippleplug>
PS- Just so I can use what could potentially be the most popular SHoP Label of all time... had Premonition been subject to this movie production via democracy, I would've suggested that both of Sandra Bullock's nippy-nips made simultaneous screen appearances, not just one at a time.
</gratuitousnippleplug>

Look! It's a 'tard!

Please, God, let this Anna Nicole Dannylynn Howard K. Stern Larry Birkhead crap be over now.

And three more words: Nappy-headed 'ho. Frankly, I think the whole fuss about it is a bunch of hypocritical crap. Not accounting for the people in the media who are making a big deal out of it, I think about 2 people actually care. All it does is make me think of people who annoy me.


I took the liberty of looking up 'nappy', and methinks the first of the two definitions is probably more offensive:

• diaper: garment consisting of a folded cloth drawn up between the legs and fastened at the waist; worn by infants to catch excrement
• crisp: of hair in small tight curls

2 posts in the last week? Could this be a trend?

Why I hate People of Every Color

Herro. Sorry that I'm so late to the table with this, but I've been busy. I myself don't hate black people, but just hate everybody in general, regardless of race. Strangely enough, I am the colorblind ideal that all of my SF-Oakland-Berkeley Leftist fuck-up neighbors strive to become. But without THE PURSWADER.

Here's some of the article. Before your Blue-State fuck-up panties get in a bunch, why don't you think about what he's saying...

excerpt from Kenneth Eng's Why I Hate Blacks

Why I Hate Blacks [AsianWeek] Kenneth Eng, Feb 23, 2007 Here is a list of reasons why we should discriminate against blacks, starting from the most obvious down to the least obvious: • Blacks hate us. Every Asian who has ever come across them knows that they take almost every opportunity to hurl racist remarks at us. In my experience, I would say about 90 percent of blacks I have met, regardless of age or environment, poke fun at the very sight of an Asian. Furthermore, their activity in the media proves their hatred: Rush Hour, Exit Wounds, Hot 97, etc.

Harsh, right? Well fuck, it's true. And before you do-gooder Leftist Blue-State Fuck-ups get all hoppin-mad, try to wrap your tiny brains around the possibility that it's true. I'm oriental, I've seen how black people in and around Oakland-Berkeley-Emeryville treat myself and other orientals.

You know what's worse than a dumbfuck oriental driver who doesn't know that she's done anything wrong? Some asshole black fucker in Oakland who 1) drives shitty, 2) knows he drives shitty, and 3) doesn't give a fuck that he drives shitty. I was behind one last night driving down Grand Avenue. And even though I'm a rednecky oriental in a rednecky truck, no, I didn't honk. I'm not stupid. Racist and hateful, true, but fortunately not stupid.

Kenneth Eng, dude, you hit it spot on. Well, OK. I wouldn't say in all seriousness that we should hate everybody, but I can understand why one might hate blacks, whites, and even your fellow orientals. Oh, and of course, this SHoP Overlord managed to catch onto what most of you do-gooder Leftist fuck-ups missed-- obvious parody and a running gag.

Two of Eng's previous articles are why he "hates whites" and "hates asians". Rather, why "whites inherently hate us (asians)". That's a running gag if I ever saw one.

I'd like to extend SHoP Overlordship to Kenneth Eng, former contributor to asianweek.com. Come, seek refuge in the House of Pain. We don't even care that you're a ignorant atheist.

I betcha I can even sell you on this oriental kick I've been on, too...

Jihad Jimmy, Minister of War Crimes and Chief Defender of the Faith

<update time=1337>
I've fired a salvo at http://dontspeakfor.us, which 1) is a blog set up for specific purpose of fielding ire about this Kenneth Eng shit, and 2) has to be the stupidest URL I've ever seen. Dumb Orientals. I thought we were supposed to be good at math and computers?

For another SHoP stance on race relations, please to be checking out blackpeopleloveus.com
</update>

<update time=1347>
Hmm. Looks like dontspeakfor.us is in fact moderating comments and petition signatures (heh). Although they didn't allow a SHoP-plug, and they took off my signatures for "Chop Suey Charlie" and "Jihad Jimmy". If only they knew just how much I'm influenced by the Don and Mike show...

And really, what a bunch of stingy chinamen! I'm plugging their shitty blog! They should plug our shitty blog!
</update>