I Know What Boys Like... Boys Like...

Boys, like me

(we need that comma there, trust me on that one. not sure if you can tell, but it's been bolded)

This seems like a good point to make somewhat of an important revelation. What with Libertarian Girl being outed, and Witty Sex Kitten being questioned, and Hot Abercrombie Chick still in question (anybody to clarify HAC??), it is important that the SHoP make the following statement:

Despite my penchant for sexy female cartoon character quizzes, ducks, puppies, and female unkymoods icons, Tio Jaime (aka Jihad Jimmy, Chief Defender of the Faith) is, was, and will always be a Filipino, Catholic, Republican male.

I mean, really now, what's the big deal? So the female blogger you had a blog-crush on and quite possibly even blog-sturbated too wasn't really female? Totally and completely beside the point. Actually having consenual sex with these women is a figment of your imagination anyway, as chances are they're separated from you and your manhood by either the contintent of North America, a husband, or in extreme cases that pesky restraining order. If you're really up S Creek, a combination of one or more of those.

I was given the green light today to goof off. No S. "Sit tight while I find something for you to do," my boss said this morning before 8. It's now almost 5.

Here, some female bloggers on my own personal blogroll. Chicks or dudes? You Make the Call!

Witty Sex Kitten: The Twins
For some reason now I keep thinking about my ex, OCDs (see the comments on this post). Damn, they were huge. She said they were fluctuating up to 38D sometimes. But the cool thing was, I was, am, and will be for the foreseeable future a leg/butt guy. Boobies are nice, but I am not a boob-guy. For reference, check your Jimmy-history for the rest of my exes (and preferred independent contractors) and you'll see that bigger is not necessarily better.

OK any more doubt in anybody's minds that I'm not a chick? You can't fake this shit. That and you can't be a woman and in good conscience point out that certain women Can't Understand Normal Thinking (html tip: write out the end tags, add a space, highlight tags and space, copy, hit paste four times. If you end up with 5 sets of tags, you didn't follow my instructions correctly.)

Hot Abercrombie Chick: (it doesn't really matter does it?)
Believe it or not, I just like looking at the pictures. So yeah dude, if you're not a chick, but just want somebody to read your shit, make sure it's interesting shit, and not just a pic of some co-ed's cleavage. That gets old. Surprisingly.

Just a Girl in the World
No particular post to point you towards (towards which to point you), but 1) New skin, very hot (women would be surprised what a simple t-shirt and jeans will do for somebody from an all-boys school), 2) I've been somewhat gay for Gwen Stefani recently. And before you start in, it's because they've been playing her What You Waiting For? song at the strip clubs a lot. So there.

House of Snark
Again, no particular post, but she has cute hair. And apparently a husband. But nonetheless, I've always like the name Stacie/Stacey/Stacy. Do your jimmy-homework, because this is actually traced back to Heather Locklear's character on TJ Hooker. Oh duh, and she likes The Amazing Race...

Caltechgirl: Nerd Post Alert!
Who among us doesn't love NASCAR math jokes? And I really liked the second joke. But now that I think about it, yeah, the allure of this chick who is smart enough to go to Cal Tech but likes Tar Heel basketball? Wouldn't be so alluring if it was some dude.

Note-It Posts: Rant
Ooh, very hot when chicks swear. There's a Scott Adams (of Dilbert fame) book with a chapter that talks about when women swear. It's much more effective than when men swear. What would get your attention more, Tio Jaime yelling "nice job fuckhead" from his pickup truck while wearing his hard hat, or this cute housefrau lowering her power window, scowling at you and suggesting that you "go fuck yourself".

The housefrau. And you know you'd go punch the jesuit to her later. Don't lie.

Enough for now. I just spent over 10 hours in the office and all i did was submit a timecard for the past two weeks.

,
Jihad Jimmy, Chief Defender of the Faith