And now I've wet my pants...

found some funny stuff online...




Department of Peace
PeaceRoots Alliance
Brandon Hughey
Kevin Benderman Defense Committee
and SHoP favorite Pablo Parades - go see SixH's GFY exclusive here

OK time to go home, especially since my boss most likely left an hour ago

Jihad Jimmy

Somebody's gonna motherf***ing pay...

OK i've was kidding about this gay thing. It's like that line from "What About Bob?" when bob wiley says "if i fake it, i don't have it!"

Well, the days where i once stood staunchly batting fifth for the home team are over, as I fear I'm facing a trade to the Redmond Bone-Smugglers...


Which OS are You?

Burn in hell, assholes. OK we're going best-of-three, and we're doing this live. If i so happen to choose a craptacular-resulting quiz, it's not for comedic effect...


Which Nigerian spammer are You?

Wow, shittier and shittier the further we go down the rabbit hole.

Best 3 of 5, dammit

OK and this one ain't looking too good as i move to page 2...


Which File Extension are You?

Great! Third time was a steaming pile of crap!

Last fucking chance, this should be a hanging curveball...

Great, this one allows you to have 64 possible outcomes. And all that means is that now you're able to piss off 16x as many people as you could before!

You're Sweden!

After years of trying to rule the world around you, you've
finally put aside violence in favor of advocating peaceful resolution. There's still a little Viking in you, but mostly you like Nobel Prize winners and long nights by the fire.  And safe cars.  You always read the safety manual in airplanes, and you're just a little cold.
Take the Country Quiz at the Blue Pyramid

This was looking up, but pissed me off w/the shitty html to copy-and-paste. There's no real way out of this post, so here's one of my favorite swedes...

---

And now i'm too lazy to find you a nice pic of Victoria Silvstedt. Sorry. But you try toeing the SHoP line like i do.

I just wanna take a nap right now.

Jihad Jimmy

ps- thanks, stupid computer quizzes, for making me go to the extra effort of downloading your stupid pics and having to tool around w/your shitty links.

Eat a lot of broccoli and drink a lot of beer

I'm flossing my teeth right now. But first, here are some links to see where your very own Tio Jaime has been showing off his Charm lately...

The I Hate Liberals Web Forum
Somebody commented on a post here (sorry, too lazy to look it up. check the comments later, maybe it'll be there) from that forum, and so i registered and gave my salutations.

Almost no time at all had passed when some tard of a hippie started in, trying to be cute.

Fortunately, smart beats cute.

I'd like to point out that I stayed within the pre-defined decency constructs of the forum, not swearing a single time. For those regular SHoPpers, you'll readily know that this is no small task. Cock. Balls.

Also, I'd like to point out (and all of you will enjoy this) that I made the LIbEral mad enough at me to get him to call me a name first! Oh man, I love it when that happens. He called me a right-wing asshole, heh. I faintly recall SixH laying down suppressing fire for me in a blogwar once by noting that liberals acknowledge losing an argument when they resort to name-calling.

Oh yes, i call names here all the time, but it's always in the context of pointing out to yet another LIbEral troll just exactly why he lacks the cognitive ability that God granted the common gerbil.

So yes, keep your eyes on this one. I'll post links when the LZ gets hot and heavy.

The Shameless Brainless Antagonist
Here. This mental magician was first brought to the forefront here

And since then, he's broken his blog as there's an unclosed italics tag somewhere in his posts, and as such most of his lame-o posts are italicized.

Slick, dude, slick! Wish you any further to wow us with your intellectual prowess?

9 will win you 5 that he'll delete my comment pointing this out to him, so here it is, safely preserved in the SHoP living history...

Wow, you think I'm an idiot who can't operate the comments in haloscan? Who's the mental magician whose blog is in italics because he can't figure out how to close an html tag? n00b. If you need help with your blog, talk to either SixHertz or myself. Tio Jaime, GOP Enthusiast | Email | Homepage | 02.27.05 - 5:26 am | #

i wonder if he'll fix the italics. whatta fucking joke

OK gotta finish flossing
Jihad Jimmy, Chief Defender of the Faith

ps- sorry about the shitty post earlier. i would've had a cool little post, but right as i wrote that first sentence, my name was called for Round 4 of the Debate Tournament

Greetings from lovely Fremont, CA!

I'm here judging a debate tournament while my mom goes to the San Mateo Home & Garden show to get that paddle engraved for me

shit, gotta go, they're callign me to a round

real quick, check out ihateliberals.com

Fri-dee!

Kitty at lifelike pundits found a lot of cool links for your Fri-dee enjoyment... but if you're lazy and find that you have similar tastes as your Unka Jimmy, you might be able to get by with just these selections (lazy ass)...

Chris Rock, conservative?
I especially like the part where it says "on crime he’s conservative, on prostitution he’s liberal." And I somewhat agree. I have a feeling he and I would come to an agreement on legalization of drugs too... You'll like the last line, too... hilarious shit

DAFFY FAITH OF 'DHARMA' STAR
Suffice it to say that you should never, ever let a hollywood type tell you they're smarter than you and your fellow red state fuckrods. How many normal people do you know are caught up in this Scientology shit? This was big in Seattle I'm told... it might've even gotten its start up there.

And to those of you pricks who get your panties wet when you point out that Christianity is a cult as well? Here's some rope and a nail. Attach aforementioned rope to the top of your door jamb with aforementioned nail. Proceed to piss up the rope. No shit it's a cult. We're not impressed by your out-of-the-box observations. Now go stick your genitals on your George Foreman grill.

30-Second Bunnies Theatre
This is a nice follow-up to 1) the bunny music video I posted earlier this week, and 2) my Shining post (about which I was not supposed to speak, true. Thanks for noticing. Here's some rope and a nail...).

While it now appears that I am Gay for Bunnies, fret not SHoPpers, for I am still Very Gay for Ducks.

---

And now that Firefox has proceeded to eat everything below this line, I'm fucking pissed. I went and fucking explained the duck and the fucking paddle.

Dammit.

Duck: late christmas present for a friend. Got it at Kohl's. Nice because it's similarly sized to an actual duck

Paddle: for my sister. she teaches at a catholic HS in santa monica. we watched this movie Heaven Help Us a lot (it's about a catholic all-boys school in 1960s brooklyn. One of the brothers in the movie was into corporal punishment, and he had a paddle that had the woodburning "PATIENCE" on it. it was fucking bad-ass

so i was driving from san jose to san bruno a few days ago and i saw a truck and trailer headed for the san mateo home and garden show and he had all sorts of custom wood signs with the woodburning that i wanted to get! signs that said stuff like "Jimmy and Tiffany Craponyourbed's Home". You'd recognize it if you saw it, even you blue state norcal fuckups

stupid firefox. i was able to recreate almost everything I lost, but I had a window open w/all the stupid links I had to trackback. Fuck you, firefox.

F off,
Jihad Jimmy, Chief Defender of the Faith

Hippies are the reason that God gave us Guns

Sweet Merciful Crap, do I hate hippies. And apparently so do rooms full of capitalists. Ha ha.

Found this post at one of the links that was e-mailed to me and other conservative bloggers. (Apparently he found it here.) I'd say that the pic at the post is funny, but I really can't fucking stand those stupid Priceless parodies. They aren't funny anymore. And no, I'm not in the mood to rant.

Kyoto protest beaten back by inflamed petrol traders (TJ: wow, that hippie is cute... the glasses? ooh, she's a classic jimmy-woman)
Greenpeace Protesters Find Oil Traders Bullish

You poor stupid hippies.

You poor, poor, misguided, deluded shit-for-brains hippies.

So you try to step to somebody's shit, who in turn totally RUIN your shit? Man, that's just embarassing. I hope these are foriegn hippies, because I don't recall Berkeley hippies being this stupid.

And hey, let's think about this, you fuckrods: What's the point of releasing rape alarms and sounding klaxons if you're just gonna end up giving out earplugs anyway? What the fuck kind of stupid message does that send? That you're sorry for annoying people with your childish antics? BECAUSE YOU'RE NOT SORRY. YOU STRIVE ON ANNOYING PEOPLE.

This whole berkeley thing really warps my fucking perspective, even on things which I will try my best to marginalize! For fuck's sake, I could be a better hippie! I could totally get under people's skins more effectively than these stupid berkeley wannabes!

Ooh, your vans pulled up a few minutes after your ankle-grabber held the door open? WTF? You're lucky you made it inside if you took two minutes to wank each other off in little faggy vans instead of advancing on your objective! HFS, it's amazing you have enough cognitive ability amongst yourselves to be able to concoct something this intricate. Perhaps you had marching orders from some higher-ups. In which case, you were just following orders. And I'll bet you're Ok w/that as an excuse for all sorts of shit which can happen in the name of a political agenda.

And my littany of complaints doesn't really end unless I'm faced with la crap de la crap of hippies, the Berkeley hippies. Instead you have little pussy hippies who block a bridge in Seattle the morning that we go war and erect some stupid teepee/wigwam structure that has some stupid NO IRAQ WAR message scrawled by the least stoned of the bunch. Oh yeah, Seattle hippies blocked the morning commute from the rich east side (think Redmond) into downtown Seattle. Which is ballsy, I had to admit. I thought they were full of monkey-shit, but the stones on them to do that...

...until they started handing out coffee to the motorists trapped on the bridge. What the Shit is that?!? Was it just their aim to spark debate about the war? On the bridge in the middle of the morning commute? Fuck that shit! Hippies aren't nice! Hippies aren't considerate! Isn't that fucking annoying? They want you to think that their shit doesn't stink, and even then, they don't know how to go about doing it! The one thing they're good for- deluded and shitty moralism-- AND THEY CAN'T EVEN FUCKING DO IT!

Activists my ass. I hate them, but for the wrong reasons. I don't hate their message as much as I do their incompetence. I don't hate their misguided morals as much as I do their ineffectiveness. Another case of The Notorious J.A.M.E.S. no longer hating you, but pitying you. And that's just sad. That's not right, taking away my finely tuned and superbly focused hate... C'mere Hate, good boy! Who's a good Hate! You are, yes you are!

Read up on Berkeley hippies. They're a sharper bunch. They took over Barrows Hall once, Sproul Hall too... that sproul hall was a doozy too, the UCPD is located in the basement of sproul, and they managed to neutralize them with bike locks to lock down sproul and fans to render UCPD pepper spray useless. That's hardcore, even I had to hand it to them...

OK, and here's where the Berkeley-cultivated Republican guerilla shines through: I had considered the use of rape alarms to disrupt showings of F9/11 in and around the bay area. Unfortunately, the whole having-a-job thing prevented me from unleashing the wackiness on the disturbingly wacky. So pretty much the only things preventing me from being a berkeley hippie are: 1) severe aversion to patchoulli, 2) residence on the correct extreme of the political spectrum, and 3) my personal contributions to capitalism. Other than that, oh yeah, I'm a berkeley hippie through and through. A hippie who likes guns. That's right, guns, motherfuckers. BIG FUCKING GUNS! GET SOME! GET SOME!

Stupid, stupid hippies. This is what happens in war. The Culture War, you fucktards, the Culture War. And listen closely, because I'll tie this in nicely for all you good, little, God-fearing SHoPpers out there.

LISTEN. UNDERSTAND.

Hippies: don't be surprised when your non-violent, shit-eating tactics are met with violence. See, this is the reason we don't entrust people like you (and think about this before you punch the card for Hitlary in 2008) with big important things like war and capitalism. You wanna hobble and handicap yourselves by abiding by standards to which you and only you will honor? You're gonna fucking lose. (some of you may see where this is going already...)

One of the stupidest mistakes Starfleet made was the agreement not to equip their starships with cloaking devices. The Romulans and Klingons could use them all they wanted, sure, but not Starfleet. The only reason Starfleet didn't lose the war was because it was on TV. (There, that should cover all but the hippies stupidest of you)

Nuclear treaties with nations which no longer exist? You explain that one to me. Let's say I lent you five bucks. Then I died in a glorious, glorious four-way sex frenzy with Crap-On-Your-Bed Girl, Marisa Miller and Hayden from The Amazing Race 6. Dude, you do whatever-the-fuck-ever you wanna do with that five bucks. I ain't coming after you for it... I have died a happy, happy man.

Things like the Geneva Convention and POW protocols are fine and dandy, but not in a situation like the war when one of the sides doesn't abide by them. Ooh, we took the high road? La-di-fucking-da. Let's win this shit already.

All you SHoPpers know this already, but this is for your hippie friends who you will convince to read this post. Ideally. Heh. 1) There's a huge inequity of justice when our POWs get their fucking heads cut off and their POWs can't even be simply draped in a pretty Israeli flag, and 2) don't pass judgments on American servicemen's actions in war while you sit here in your precious little Blue State bubble and appreciate the freedom that some Red State Mother's son has given to you in blood.

Does that paint a rosy fucking picture or what?

,
Jihad Jimmy, Chief Defender of the Faith

Oh my darlin' Condoleezza, Part II

Found this on lifelikepundits.com...




ooh man, if you know your jimmy-history, you'll know that jimmy likes boots! especially these hot stripper kinds!

cool thing about this is? Condi's available! Probably a work-a-holic though, and I can be somewhat of an attention whore. But lemme get that xbox and I should be occupied for a while.

saving myself for Condi,
Jihad Jimmy, Chief Defender of the Faith

Wasting time, SHoP-style!

Greetings!

So yes, I was at my real job yesterday. The one that pays me.

Well, I'm always @ my job, it's just that for the first time in a long time, I had work to do. This entailed driving the entire bay area circuit yesterday. As such, I was away from my computer. No Jihad Jimmy. This is why the SHoP was sans The Notorious J.A.M.E.S. yesterday. Hope you didn't cry yourselves to sleep.

But I was able to receive e-mail, yes, and lo and behold, somebody was spamming the e-mail list of people who applied for credentialing for some blogger-dealie. Not sure exactly, but this is the most likely explanation.

And as somewhat of a joke, I applied a few weeks back and was subsequently refused. Good thing too, as I had stuff to do that weekend...

So yes, bloggers. Spam. Jihad Jimmy mysteriously thrown into the mix. What else are people to do but start hawking their own blogs? Armed with a huge distribution list, people started e-mailing links to each other. While this was appreciated, some took none-too-kindly to this and several requests to stop using "Reply All" were made.

Despite my initial annoyance, I realized that what the thread needed was a liberal dose of the Jimmy. People were just pasting links, la la la, so I figured I might as well join the fray. But before doing so, I should probably participate in the not-so-glamorous "catching" part of link whoring...

You'll notice how I'm subcontracting this SHoP work out to you, in typicl general contractor fashion. Look alive, people, the taco truck comes by at 12:05 on the nose...

http://northerncrown.com/rmorgan/weblog here's where it started, as this dude asked for links. kind of the equivalent of accompanying Jihad Jimmy to his place where everybody knows his hame, standing in the middle of the room and yelling "Man oh man, do I love lap dances from nubile women!" Oh, and you're waving several twenties around high above your head. And from his e-mail loins hath the following been borne...
childofreagan.com
http://spydrzweb.blogspot.com
http://www.windsofchange.net/ and coming soon: http://RandomProbabilities.net/ and now they're talking about how math is hard. maybe they won't like the SHoP...
http://flapsblog.blogspot.com a dentist. which reminds me, i gotta call mine and confirm my appointment later today... Ok done and done
www.lifelikepundits.com la la la, he's not replying to all, thank God, but he'll link to the SHoP if i let him know...
http://www.contrarianblog.com oh you dropped something. like your alma mater's name
www.savethegop.com
www.politicalspectrum.blogspot.com Lefties and righties on that one. Also confirmthem.com, but I have a feeling most of you already read that one.
http://www.therightwingconspiracy.org
http://www.dhogberg.com/ Not to rub it in too hard for the lawyers, but I have a PhD and work for a think-tank. So not only did I avoid being an attorney, in the end I also avoided working academia. God is good. Wow, I'm astounded by how much I don't give a flying fuck

Now taking the mound for your Northern California Guerilla Republicans, Tio tio Jaime! jaime jaime...

Here's my contribution to the thread...

Date: Thu, 24 Feb 2005 09:36:29 -0800 (PST) From: "Jimmy" Subject: RE: RE: that's gonna leave a mark or: How I Learned to Stop Worrying and Love Whoring Links I now somewhat regret my tongue-in-cheek gag of applying for the CPAC-dealie. I would've thought that averaging 69 site visits a day would be a giveaway... http://sixhertz.blogspot.com intro post: http://sixhertz.blogspot.com/2005/02/shop-talk_03.html The SHoP is your all-in-one, home-theater-in-a-box headquarters of two twenty-something bona fide Conservative, Republican, Catholic, Northern Californian kindergarten buddies (SixHertz and Tio Jaime). We use bad words, buttloads of invectives, political incorrectness, and gratuitous nubile women for your entertainment. There's a bit of civil disobedience, which is my own personal contribution to the Culture War. It's a special brand of Guerilla Republicanism that really can only be cultured in the People's Republic of Berzerkeley. Sweet, sweet alma mater, since we're into the whole name/profession dropping today. But yes, guerilla republicanism... you want me on that wall, you need me on that wall. i'm your plausible deniability. In fact, I wouldn't keep this e-mail on your computer once you glean the link(s) and other important info. all my love, Tio Jaime aka Jihad Jimmy, Chief Defender of the Faith ps- congratulations. if you sent me a link before i sent this e-mail, you made the SHoP. Get Some

all my love,
Jihad Jimmy, Chief Defender of the Faith

Sometimes, it's just too easy...

[02/23/2005 - 16:34.27] Poke00210: hey i'm in another blogwar!
[02/23/2005 - 16:34.38] Poke00210: i commented on some retards site after he commented many months ago on the SHoP
[02/23/2005 - 16:35.19] SixHertz: we got comments?!
[02/23/2005 - 16:35.50] Poke00210: yeah from some democrud... you wanna see?
[02/23/2005 - 16:36.12] SixHertz: sure
[02/23/2005 - 16:36.56] Poke00210: OK here's the original SHoP post...
[02/23/2005 - 16:37.07] Poke00210: http://sixhertz.blogspot.com/2005/01/oh-hell-no-you-did-not-just-do-that.html
[02/23/2005 - 16:37.35] Poke00210: his comment
[02/23/2005 - 16:37.36] Poke00210: http://www.haloscan.com/comments/sixhertz/110598859037527653/#61886
[02/23/2005 - 16:38.00] Poke00210: my response(s) follows()
[02/23/2005 - 16:38.36] Poke00210: and here's his blog... http://www.shamelessantagonist.blogspot.com/
[02/23/2005 - 16:39.02] Poke00210: and here's his post that i commented on... but hold off, because i'm in the process of returning fire
[02/23/2005 - 16:39.22] Poke00210: http://shamelessantagonist.blogspot.com/2005_02_01_shamelessantagonist_archive.html#110813276162763453
[02/23/2005 - 16:41.04] Poke00210: shitty post, but i made my Tio Jaime contribution in his comments
[02/23/2005 - 16:41.23] SixHertz: what a [censored]. He obviously hasn't made long comments before.
[02/23/2005 - 16:41.32] Poke00210: oh shit just you wait
[02/23/2005 - 16:41.37] Poke00210: you'll like my return fire
[02/23/2005 - 16:42.12] SixHertz: brb
[02/23/2005 - 16:44.45] SixHertz: back
[02/23/2005 - 16:44.50] Poke00210: OK!!!
[02/23/2005 - 16:44.54] Poke00210: check it out now!
[02/23/2005 - 16:44.59] Poke00210: i just left a lenghty comment
[02/23/2005 - 16:45.02] Poke00210: lengthy
[02/23/2005 - 16:45.41] Poke00210: i'm gonna save this
[02/23/2005 - 16:45.46] Poke00210: he's probably gonna delete that
[02/23/2005 - 16:47.00] SixHertz: write it up on SHoP! Let's flame war!
[02/23/2005 - 16:47.55] Poke00210: OMG, SixH! U R so prejudice LOL!
[02/23/2005 - 16:48.10] SixHertz: hahaah, and it's WYSIWYG
[02/23/2005 - 16:48.21] Poke00210: yeah... umm OK i guess not even you got it
[02/23/2005 - 16:48.31] SixHertz: ah, nevermind
[02/23/2005 - 16:48.32] SixHertz: i get it now
[02/23/2005 - 16:48.33] Poke00210: WYSINWYG = what you see is not what you get
[02/23/2005 - 16:48.36] Poke00210: cool
[02/23/2005 - 16:48.51] Poke00210: you like how i added the html tag there so i wouldn't have to do it later?
[02/23/2005 - 16:49.03] Poke00210: i'll censor your "fucktard" from before"
[02/23/2005 - 16:49.04] SixHertz: lol
[02/23/2005 - 16:49.11] SixHertz: sounds good
[02/23/2005 - 16:49.28] Poke00210: i gotta save this though... i really need to do some fucking work
[02/23/2005 - 16:49.32] Poke00210: i'm technically still on the clock
[02/23/2005 - 16:49.45] SixHertz: roger
[02/23/2005 - 16:50.26] Poke00210: although now I have a few minutes before my POS dell starts up
[02/23/2005 - 16:50.29] Poke00210: from work
[02/23/2005 - 16:50.31] Poke00210: my dell from work
[02/23/2005 - 16:51.34] Poke00210: this guy's a cockmaster
[02/23/2005 - 16:51.39] Poke00210: WTF does he do anyway?
[02/23/2005 - 16:51.46] SixHertz: I just posted a comment to his Khan post.
[02/23/2005 - 16:51.54] SixHertz: he's a moron.
[02/23/2005 - 16:52.07] Poke00210: i didn't even read that post
[02/23/2005 - 16:52.13] Poke00210: i saw a lyrics contest, figured i'd enter
[02/23/2005 - 16:52.21] Poke00210: did you like my mary jo kopechne song?
[02/23/2005 - 16:52.32] SixHertz: yeah, i saw your version before
[02/23/2005 - 16:52.43] Poke00210: it's kind of obscure, but it pisses off the hardcore democruds
[02/23/2005 - 16:53.38] Poke00210: or is this pigfucker foriegn?
[02/23/2005 - 16:53.56] Poke00210: i love it when foreigners stick their noses into american politics
[02/23/2005 - 16:54.07] Poke00210: just goes to show you how insignificant their own native politics are
[02/23/2005 - 16:54.14] Poke00210: in their own eyes
[02/23/2005 - 16:54.44] SixHertz: yeah, that slaves me.
[02/23/2005 - 16:55.01] Poke00210: WTF? who's the dumbfuck who said we should go into saudi arabia?
[02/23/2005 - 16:55.11] SixHertz: beats me.
[02/23/2005 - 16:55.30] SixHertz: and I love this dumocratic underground crap of "Social Security: There is no crisis"
[02/23/2005 - 16:55.38] Poke00210: what a dumbfuck! goes to show you how well of a grasp they have on foreign policy
[02/23/2005 - 16:55.41] SixHertz: Okay, so Bill Clinton F#^&ING LIED TO ME!?
[02/23/2005 - 16:55.55] Poke00210: well shit, there sure as shit was a crisis when bill clinton was trying to push it
[02/23/2005 - 16:56.02] Poke00210: no.
[02/23/2005 - 16:56.05] Poke00210: bill clinton never lies.
[02/23/2005 - 16:56.09] Poke00210: especially not to you.
[02/23/2005 - 16:56.09] SixHertz: MAGIC F#@(ING BEANS!? NO F@$&ING WAY! I WANT SOME!
[02/23/2005 - 16:57.16] Poke00210: Beans, beans / The musical fruit. / The more you eat, / The more you make on your shady insider trading cattle-futures deals
[02/23/2005 - 16:57.29] Poke00210: oh F, that didn't rhyme
[02/23/2005 - 16:57.50] SixHertz: dude, what are you doing? You're on the clock
[02/23/2005 - 16:57.56] Poke00210: F ME
[02/23/2005 - 16:58.02] Poke00210: can you post this? this is gold
[02/23/2005 - 16:58.07] SixHertz: sure.

GFY Tuesday: European Cocksucker Mind Sluts. Or: How I learned to stop taking a hit for 2 seconds and draw caricatures of the US President.

What is with these holier-than-thou assclowns? Oh, really creative, you socialist loser. Did you think of this all on your own? Or was it something you came up with during a bad LSD trip? Let me tell you something, you communist needledick, THERE IS A REASON WHY YOUR COUNTRY IS AN UNDERWEAR SKIDMARK IN 20TH/21ST CENTURY HISTORY. That's right! While your government was trying to make sure you all had a chicken in every pot, and pot in every bong, the United States kept your ass free from being brutally raped by the scourge that is despotism. Only now, you're letting yourself be eaten from the inside by an even scarier thing: Islamofascism.

So be it. Let your country be destroyed. See if I care. Let's see if your brothels and bathhouses will be replaced with mosques and women in burkas. Should be fun, n'est-ce pas? Don't come running to the United States when that happens. I'd likely be giving you a BIG GFY.

Now taking dibs on when conspiracy theorists will try to prove the US has some tectonic plate / earthquake satellite weapon

It'd be pretty damn cool, though, wouldn't it? Or maybe Allah is pissed. I like both explanations.

A practical application of guerilla Republicanism

Found this on sixmeatbuffet...

Bush Lied! Bacon Fried!

See the Porsche?

Here's where it could be parked at night!

yay for the internets!

Go to the SHoP archives back in November and December and find "civil disobedience" on the page. Listen. Understand. Read my comment on SixMeatBuffet, and remember that I live five minutes from Berkeley. You do the math.

Although it would be nice to scoop the blogosphere, I really should sub this work out to somebody else, in general contractor fashion.

SHoP jihad: If you can get to this porche before me, I'll reward you with the Veal Parmigiana at my favorite restaurant. Please provide proof.

I am dead serious.

Jihad Jimmy, Chief Defender of the Faith

UPDATE: OK, i'm gonna retract the jihad. This was tongue-in-cheek, in case you couldn't tell. I realize that when you're dealing with Jihad Jimmy, it is tough to discern real from make-believe most of the time. Don't fuck with this guy's car. That's bad karma.

And duh, my real name is all over this blog and my own personal blog. And there are three accurate models of myself with varying clothes and hair in the previous post. I'm not fucking w/this guy's car.

And that is all I have to say about that.

I promise: this'll be the last you'll hear from me about being pissed about losing my Shining post on Saturday morning.

Found this AIM window (notice the timestamps) left open here in the home office in wacky Benicia, CA. It's a nice recap of last week... lengthy Shining posts, Insaniquarium, WSK, strippers... All is quiet on the Jihad Jimmy front...

It's mon-dee now, I really have a lot of work to do today, so I better get crackin'. Lemme just see if I saved the Bleached Hair Jimmy and the Jesus Hair Jimmy pics...

Chat between SixHertz and Tio Jaime on Fri-dee 18 Feb 2005

SixHertz (3:05:04 PM): OH MAN! THat is the most hilarious damn post I've ever seen. (TJ: OK see what happens when nobody checks out the links I send to them? SixH was the only one to see the post. Here's the aftermath. And here's the aftermath's aftermath.) TioJaime (3:05:15 PM): i haven't done work in about a week TioJaime (3:05:28 PM): here, here's what i'm doing right now TioJaime (3:05:31 PM): i'm trying on clothes TioJaime (3:05:42 PM): www.myvirtualmodel.com SixHertz (3:05:42 PM): LOL TioJaime (3:06:12 PM): in The Shining, it was scary, but in the SHoP, it's entertaining TioJaime (3:08:14 PM): shit, now i wanna watch the shining TioJaime (3:10:36 PM): i like the 10th one, but my favorite, had it turned out correctly would've been #8 TioJaime (3:14:09 PM): oh this virtual model is cool! I can see what i look like w/different hair! SixHertz (3:14:22 PM): this is great TioJaime (3:15:26 PM): wow i'd look really shitty w/bleached hair SixHertz (3:16:31 PM): hahaha TioJaime (3:20:58 PM): i'd also look shitty w/jesus hair TioJaime (3:21:04 PM): lemme see if i can make my stripper TioJaime (3:25:12 PM): that doesn't look like my stripper... the legs look funny TioJaime (3:59:21 PM): witty sex kitten used the word "fucktard" in the middle of december TioJaime (3:59:22 PM): ! TioJaime (4:34:10 PM): I HAVE WORK TO DO!!!!! TioJaime (4:34:30 PM): AND WHY THE FUCK WOULD YOU WAIT UNTIL 4PM ON A FRIDAY TO GIVE SOMEBODY WORK?!? SixHertz (4:40:41 PM): that sucks. SixHertz (4:40:44 PM): i mean, wow. TioJaime (4:40:49 PM): s'OK TioJaime (4:40:57 PM): two bids go out on wednesday TioJaime (4:40:59 PM): i get to do them TioJaime (4:41:04 PM): except we're all off on monday SixHertz (4:41:04 PM): how long? TioJaime (4:41:09 PM): so i get to do two bids o ntuesday TioJaime (4:41:16 PM): hopefully this shouldn't be too tricky SixHertz (4:41:31 PM): not tricky bids? I remember the stories you told of the first ones you had to do. TioJaime (4:41:54 PM): oh yeah those were for multi-milion dollar jobs TioJaime (4:42:04 PM): what did i tell you? fuck that must've been a while ago TioJaime (4:42:15 PM): these jobs are probably a couple of thousand each SixHertz (4:42:29 PM): yeah. SixHertz (4:42:31 PM): that's good TioJaime (4:43:47 PM): i'm rereading WSK's post about her 34DDDs TioJaime (4:44:08 PM): w/nipple ring TioJaime (4:44:10 PM): oh my SixHertz (4:44:16 PM): don't go getting a semi, now. TioJaime (4:44:34 PM): if i was a boob guy, i'd be there already TioJaime (4:45:14 PM): F this, i'm gonna approve these three invoices and go home already SixHertz (4:45:23 PM): SOUNDS GREAT SixHertz (4:51:45 PM): did you ever make enough room for insaniquarium? TioJaime (4:51:56 PM): yeah i played the deluxe version TioJaime (4:52:07 PM): and actually, just two seconds ago, i found the attachment you sent me yesterday TioJaime (4:53:08 PM): i fucking had 4 large guppies, and like 3 carnivores... TioJaime (4:53:17 PM): FUCKING ALIENS ATE EVERYTHING BUT ONE GODDAM CARNIVORE TioJaime (4:53:43 PM): it was teh first time two aliens came on, and me and the stupid swordfish were concentrating on one, and the other one ate all my shit TioJaime (5:31:03 PM): THAT FUCKING FATASS RETARD ALIEN SixHertz signed off at 5:32:35 PM. SixHertz signed on at 6:05:17 PM. SixHertz (6:14:43 PM): left work right? SixHertz signed off at 6:48:12 PM.

Oh, and for some reason, shitty blogger doesn't recognize the colorname red or the hex code #FF0000 or not even the whole rgb (255, 0, 0) shit (i don't think.) Unless I'm doing this incorrectly, which is a distinct possibility.

Get Bent, blogger.com

Jihad Jimmy, Chief Defender of the Faith

How about I sincerely shove my foot up your ass?

Your ass has been on notice, and now notice I'm upping the ante. I swear, these North Korean negotiators and propagandists must have graduated from East Harlem Community College. Dumbass Kim Jong Il...First you don't want unilateral talks, then you do. Then you want six-party talks, then you don't. Then you claim you have nukes and threaten to boycott the talks, then you say you'll go back to the table. Now you express the hope that the US will show "trustworthy sincerity" with six-party talks?? Eh?!

Now I ask you: WHO LOOKS TO BE MOST TRUSTWORTHY?

You liberals who are content enough to blame W for this latest failure will be reminded by me, again, that these "negotiations" (in quotes, because it's all a stalling tactic by the North Koreans, and no one has the balls to go in there and create a nuclear accident inside that backwards nation) have been going on since the Clinton administration.

Oh, and I'm really glad more people are interested in the fact that Paris Hilton's phone got hacked...FOR THE LOVE OF GOD, PEOPLE! GET A CLUE! If you REALLY cared about that story, get off of my blog immediately. You're a waste to the human race. Paris Hilton must die.

Funny Bunny Animation! or: How I Learned to Stop Worrying and Stretch a Simple Post into Rambling Tangents

Everyone Else Has Had More Sex Than Me by Bernard Derriman

found this courtesy of Oriental Redneck. Exactly dude, I'm not the only one! He's from Orange County (i think? definitely socal), lives here now. If you like my dispatches from lovely Oakland, CA here on the frontier of Red America (Flyover Country, if we'd like to take a derogatory term as a badge of honor, i.e. "queer" and [CENSORED]* and "bitch"), check out his page as he also likes to find the funny Blue State idiocy in the SF Chronicle.

A bit of Geography... Here's San Francisco and Oakland....


Here's my route to work from Oakland to the home office in Benicia, CA...


And you'll notice about halfway through my commute, I pass through Concord, CA.


Concord, CA is where flyover country starts. Pretty much everybody Concord and east is a red state american w/o the psychotic blue state ideals. Look and see just how much of California spatially contains the politically retarded segment of this our American population.

There. You see the little swath of land between the pacific ocean and that red star indicating Concord? That's it. That's blue america. Pretty much the edge of california that wide, up and down the coast. It includes the bay area, hollywood. That's it.

And you're letting them win.

This is where my guerilla Republicanism was born. This is where it quietly waits, lurking silently among the clueless masses of Blue Americans. Every once in a while, it is angered to the point of misdemeanor vandalism. But for the most part, it will manifest itself as a mere nuisance.

Like the poltergeist that mysteriously knocked over the F9/11 display at the Barnes and Noble in Emeryville, CA...

Why don't you call up Fry's Electronics in San Jose and ask them to find you a copy of F9/11? I guarantee they'll show 10 in stock, but they won't be able to find a single one. You ever watch The X-Files? Of course you have. Remember the episode (might've been a season finale) where they have the alien fetus in a jar but then some dude hides it in a vast FBI evidence warehouse with hundreds of boxes each on hundreds of shelves?

Just like that, one of the most annoying irritating fucking retarded influential movies of our time? Gone.

Hmmph. Pity.

Jihad Jimmy, Chief Defender of the Faith

ps- yeah, sorry, i forgot. check out 1) the bunny video and 2) Oriental Redneck. Links above, sorry i'm lazy...
pps- if you were curious at one point and quite possibly still are, my avatar is a miniaturized version of The Girls
*-yes, sometimes SixHertz has to get medieval on TioJaime's arse.

Not sure how I scored a decent Verbal SAT score with reading comprehension skills such as mine...

Ok see, when Tio Jaime misinterprets his buddy's comments and spitefully posts, he has to eat crow. And post about it here.

Clarification chat thread
JihadJimmyCDF = Jihad Jimmy, Chief Defender of the Faith
SixHertzWhenIPee = SixHertz... and i try not to think of him peeing, except for the purposes of a funny fake AIM SN

3:49 AM JihadJimmyCDF: there i responded JihadJimmyCDF: get bent SixHertzWhenIPee: the hell are you up? JihadJimmyCDF: yeah i'm fucking up SixHertzWhenIPee: ["snugglebunnies"]. JihadJimmyCDF: tooling around w/this new goddam browser and xanga and html and shit JihadJimmyCDF: goddamit SixHertzWhenIPee: you're drunk like me? JihadJimmyCDF: how are you drunk? JihadJimmyCDF: and no, the fucking scotch wore off 3:50 AM SixHertzWhenIPee: I'm not. I'm messin' wit yous. SixHertzWhenIPee: wow, quite the response. JihadJimmyCDF: yeah, so WTF are you asking? SixHertzWhenIPee: You said you go to war with the army you have. So, which alcoholic beverage don't you have that you wish you did? JihadJimmyCDF: oh is that what you meant? JihadJimmyCDF: whoops. sorry JihadJimmyCDF: i'd like to retract my getting pissed @ you SixHertzWhenIPee: oh, so you were serious about that? JihadJimmyCDF: yeah, so long as you were JihadJimmyCDF: but you weren't JihadJimmyCDF: so i am not SixHertzWhenIPee: yeah, bitch! SixHertzWhenIPee: JihadJimmyCDF: LOL JihadJimmyCDF: i wasn't missing any alcohol JihadJimmyCDF: i was missing cran-grape juice SixHertzWhenIPee: ahhh SixHertzWhenIPee: see, my lack-o-alcohol-awareness shows. JihadJimmyCDF: and my apparent recent localized affinity shows SixHertzWhenIPee: how the heck am I supposed to know what goes with Coke and Vodka? SixHertzWhenIPee: I never even heard of the combination alone. JihadJimmyCDF: weren't you navy? don't they drink a lot in the navy? JihadJimmyCDF: i'd never heard of that shit either! SixHertzWhenIPee: I drink shite straight. 3:55 AM JihadJimmyCDF: i can't drink straight vodka or tequila JihadJimmyCDF: only scotch JihadJimmyCDF: and mixing vodka, i ain't never seen vodka/coke JihadJimmyCDF: fuck what was the question? SixHertzWhenIPee: LOL SixHertzWhenIPee: beats me JihadJimmyCDF: wait, so why are you still up? JihadJimmyCDF: were you crafting? JihadJimmyCDF: it's 4 A-fucking-M SixHertzWhenIPee: yeah. guilty. JihadJimmyCDF: LOL JihadJimmyCDF: nice SixHertzWhenIPee: I'm screwin' around. JihadJimmyCDF: shit i wanna craft right now SixHertzWhenIPee: not tired. SixHertzWhenIPee: I wouldn't wish this game on my worst enemy... SixHertzWhenIPee: wait...yeah I would. JihadJimmyCDF: i was an asshole my freshman year JihadJimmyCDF: i introduced my roommate to Warcraft 2 SixHertzWhenIPee: LOL JihadJimmyCDF: fuck i'd go to sleep but i'm wide fuckign awake JihadJimmyCDF: i'd play insaniquarium, but i'm on the mac SixHertzWhenIPee: haahah JihadJimmyCDF: although, maybe, just maybe this new browser can save my game SixHertzWhenIPee: that's an evil game too JihadJimmyCDF: ooh JihadJimmyCDF: yeah, i'm sorry i told you about it 4:00 AM JihadJimmyCDF: oh thank God, firefox isn't letting it open JihadJimmyCDF: hey whatcha doing next weekend? SixHertzWhenIPee: well, that's the big question, actually. I know it's your birthday on sunday...could be here, or could be in Las Vegas...where are you going to be? JihadJimmyCDF: shit, dinner on saturday either in daly city or san francisco JihadJimmyCDF: then, on sunday JihadJimmyCDF: indian casino w/california craps SixHertzWhenIPee: LOL JihadJimmyCDF: and that means home early from zoo SixHertzWhenIPee: why am I still up? JihadJimmyCDF: not sure... but when you find out, start figuring out why I'm up SixHertzWhenIPee: it's 4 am.

Again, whoops. In the future I'll do a better job of interpreting my own Tio Jaime tangents

I'm going to sleep. It's waay too late.

Jihad Jimmy, Chief Defender of the Faith.

More WSK for you. I've sorted through the raunch so you don't have to.

**snorts** Yeah, like you don't want to...

Posting a link to a Tio Jaime Nation, Xanga Province post here because it's toeing the SHoP line of relevancy. And yes, that has stopped me before. I've also blatantly disregarded it, true, and even when I've been much more sober than I am right now.

The alcohol is wearing off somewhat, although I hope to remedy that soon. I've ordered some pizza from domino's and will have pizza, some vodka/coke, and watch Robocop which I purchased today from Fry's in DVD form for $6.99.

"Vodka/coke, Tio Jaime?" you might find yourself asking. Well, if I may refer you to a previos SHoP post... You go to war with the army you have, not the army you wish to have or will have in the future. And because I know you liked that post, you can see the followup here.

I'll post a bit more later tonight, will see you in a bit,
Jihad Jimmy, Chief Defender of the Faith

I can't believe it's not Xanga!

Was gonna relegate this to the Xanga Province of Tio Jaime Nation, but there are some links to entertaining stuff below

and gratuitous scantily clad-ness

Poke = Jihad Jimmy's old marathon handle
SpacemanSpiff = Jihad Jimmy's old roommate's old marathon handle

12:30 PM SpacemanSpiff: yo yo yo Poke: yo Poke: whattup dude SpacemanSpiff: are there any plans for your birthday? Poke: oh fuck that's right Poke: joe's saturday night? SpacemanSpiff: plans besides playing lots of halo SpacemanSpiff: once you get the xbox Poke: OH and SHIT SpacemanSpiff: joe's saturday night SpacemanSpiff: i'm about fifteen minutes away Poke: and how SpacemanSpiff: zoo afterward? Poke: probably Poke: although not too much zoo Poke: going to the casino on sunday w/my grandma SpacemanSpiff: nice! Poke: ohyes Poke: you wanna come w/? Poke: i'll teach you craps Poke: and how to properly cuss @ slotmachines Poke: oh yes, bow down to my html, xanga chickenfuckers Poke: i did a 3am criticism of The Graduate, you might like it SpacemanSpiff: haha SpacemanSpiff: send me the link Poke: comes w/cool borders & shit Poke: http://www.xanga.com/item.aspx?user=TioJaime&tab=weblogs&uid=208245276 12:35 PM Poke: yeah if you a/o rachel a/o karim are free, you're all cordially invited... Poke: ooh joes man Poke: been getting the veal a la parmagiana (sp?) Poke: good shit, very tender SpacemanSpiff: I can leave the woman at home Poke: your call, but she is cordially invited SpacemanSpiff: okay, dustin hoffman is man-pretty SpacemanSpiff: haha Poke: he *is* Poke: well, he *was* SpacemanSpiff: haha SpacemanSpiff: good stuff Poke: i fucking fell asleep Poke: got too damn tired SpacemanSpiff: it was pretty late Poke: but on the upside, i learned about html tables 12:40 PM SpacemanSpiff: haha, good stuff SpacemanSpiff: tables is where it's at in html Poke: oh, did you see all the TAR6 links? SpacemanSpiff: no Poke: http://www.xanga.com/item.aspx?user=TioJaime&tab=weblogs&uid=206483582 Poke: i'm quite pleased w/firefox SpacemanSpiff: what's this hayden site? Poke: that's her personal modeling site Poke: but you can buy a "subscription" Poke: whatta whore Poke: mmm underwear Poke: i can't save these pics, can i? SpacemanSpiff: screenshot that shit Poke: they're embedded in some flash shit? SpacemanSpiff: booyeah Poke: dude i'm there SpacemanSpiff: she looks better here than she did on the amazing race Poke: yeah dude! Poke: was just about to say Poke: she doesn't have an old head here SpacemanSpiff: man, she fucking broke down on the last few episodes Poke: and man, normally i'm not a boob-guy... Poke: yeah, "Do something before i hyperventilate!" Poke: i liked it when Aaron would talk shit about her to the camera 12:45 PM Poke: haydk@hotmail.com Poke: yay! SpacemanSpiff: that was funny Poke: ooh ohmy Poke: http://www.rebeccacardon.net/ Poke: she got hot towards the end Poke: whoa, and she's all kinds of naked on her page Poke: oh my Poke: eww... what's w/the cornrows? SpacemanSpiff: nekkid? Poke: almost nekkid Poke: i like the rebecca one when she's wearing the ski cap Poke: a thong Poke: and she's daintily pulling her jeans down below her butt Poke: "oops, look what i did!" SpacemanSpiff: her website is annoying Poke: yeah Poke: that song dude SpacemanSpiff: the content is way at the bottom SpacemanSpiff: underneath her vertically scrolling name SpacemanSpiff: grrrrrr.... Poke: if i had a website because i was a model, i'd put the Klingon Long Song SpacemanSpiff: haha Poke: oh i'm still a n00b at this website shit SpacemanSpiff: so, do you update this xanga site regularly? Poke: i didn't even notice the name SpacemanSpiff: is this your blog? Poke: eh, not as much as i'd like Poke: i put a lot of soggy stuff here Poke: most of the time i post at my friend's blog Poke: but that's more polical Poke: fuck Poke: political 12:50 PM Poke: yay! Rebeccacardon@hotmail.com Poke: see that's bad, because now you can send cock pics to hayden & rebecca @ the same time Poke: and chip & reichen too, i'm sure, if you dig enough Poke: oh her name actually does scroll down... yeah, umm OK SpacemanSpiff: chip and reichen SpacemanSpiff: haha SpacemanSpiff: forgot about those dudes SpacemanSpiff: what's the gimmick for the next amazing race SpacemanSpiff: two people from survivor? SpacemanSpiff: or something Poke: Boston Rob in TAR 7 Poke: yep Poke: that's shitty Poke: that's like celebrity mole SpacemanSpiff: remember the big brother tie-in Poke: but TAR doesn't need the gimmick! SpacemanSpiff: that team sucked balls Poke: no what was that again? 12:55 PM SpacemanSpiff: remember, I think it was during the chip and kim season Poke: they must've gotten booted early SpacemanSpiff: yeah, they were the second off I think Poke: yeah yeah, now that you mention it, it's starting to come back to me Poke: can't remember who it was though for the life of me SpacemanSpiff: some annoying blonde and a racially-ambiguous guy Poke: LOL racially-ambiguous Poke: yeah SpacemanSpiff: i gotta go SpacemanSpiff: but I'll talk to you laterz, yo Poke: OK dude, i'll talk to you soon

Hope these stupid colors turned out OK. Although I'm told that using the font tag is outdated???

Jihad Jimmy, Chief Defender of the Faith

UPDATE: OK tried style inside the strong tags, but for some reason it's not working. Is this because i'm in a table??? Please advise

OK. Got a little Mozilla Firefox action going on now. Let's see if it will incur the wrath that is Jihad Jimmy

JihadJimmy = JihadJimmy, Chief Defender of the Faith
SixHertzWhenIPee = my buddy from kindergarten

12:28 PM JihadJimmy: here... here's what i've been downloading JihadJimmy: Direct Instant Message session started SixHertzWhenIPee: That's nice. JihadJimmy: she's from santa cruz! SixHertzWhenIPee: now it's shown up all over my chat box, and chrissy is right behind me. SixHertzWhenIPee: thanks. 12:30 PM JihadJimmy: oh JihadJimmy: whoops SixHertzWhenIPee: i don't think she's seen it. SixHertzWhenIPee: look SixHertzWhenIPee: i SixHertzWhenIPee: can SixHertzWhenIPee: mak SixHertzWhenIPee: make SixHertzWhenIPee: the SixHertzWhenIPee: chat SixHertzWhenIPee: window JihadJimmy: pig JihadJimmy: fuckers SixHertzWhenIPee: disappear JihadJimmy: man SixHertzWhenIPee: ahah JihadJimmy: gina SixHertzWhenIPee: ah SixHertzWhenIPee: a SixHertzWhenIPee: a SixHertzWhenIPee: ODC2 An undefined AIM error has occurred. The server message was: Rend:Error SixHertzWhenIPee: a SixHertzWhenIPee: a SixHertzWhenIPee: a SixHertzWhenIPee: a JihadJimmy: let JihadJimmy: me JihadJimmy: help SixHertzWhenIPee: ok, all good now. SixHertzWhenIPee: :D JihadJimmy: nice job baby JihadJimmy: odc2? JihadJimmy: just be thankful i didn't find the other pics yet JihadJimmy: rather, the ones i just found SixHertzWhenIPee: hahah 12:35 PM JihadJimmy: here JihadJimmy: "chick with big knockers" JihadJimmy: Direct Instant Message session started SixHertzWhenIPee: a chick with two knockers? SixHertzWhenIPee: ah SixHertzWhenIPee: yes, i see the previous text now. JihadJimmy: yesh 12:40 PM JihadJimmy: hey so far, firefox is nice JihadJimmy: likes blogger OK so far SixHertzWhenIPee: :D SixHertzWhenIPee: it's a helluva lot faster than IE. SixHertzWhenIPee: IE blows chunks. JihadJimmy: OK good to hear JihadJimmy: yeah JihadJimmy: IE looked shitty too

Before I hit the "Publish Post" I'm gonna copy and paste this into another window. Wish me luck, SHoPpers...

Jihad Jimmy, Chief Defender of the Faith

THANKS A FUCKLOAD

OH LOOK. ANOTHER POST EATEN BY BLOGGER. NOT SAFARI, ALTHOUGH I WILL BE DOWNLOADING THIS FIREFOX SHIT IN A COUPLE OF SECONDS... KICK ME WHILE I'M DOWN ORQUIZA, WILL YOU?!?

Poke00210 = pissed because i lost TWO posts now
Soggy Brent = Bowles Hall RCC Emeritus

this iChat transcript was originally posted here. dammit.

poke00210: did you see the SHoP? SoggyBrent: not today SoggyBrent: what's up poke00210: from yesterday? you ever watch the Shining? poke00210: not the Gining 10:45 AM SoggyBrent: no SoggyBrent: HAhahahahahha SoggyBrent: MAN-SHINY! poke00210: LOL SoggyBrent: *sigh* poke00210: shit, i just lost the post SoggyBrent: oh poke00210: i changed the table width, and now there's an empty post poke00210: HOLY FUCK HOLY FUCK HOLY FUCK poke00210: i hope i didn't lose it poke00210: the post, i mean SoggyBrent: it's not like the lionel richie black post? poke00210: FUCK IT'S GONE poke00210: NO A BETTER POST SoggyBrent: not that he's "black" but that it was black SoggyBrent: oh nooooo SoggyBrent: are you sure? SoggyBrent: can you hit your back button? poke00210: I THINK SO poke00210: NOT ANYMORE poke00210: fuck 10:50 AM SoggyBrent: crud SoggyBrent: can you re-do it? SoggyBrent: or was it so good it was only a one time shot poke00210: only a one time poke00210: fuck dude poke00210: Safari is fucking worthless poke00210: it ate an entire day-long post SoggyBrent: OH SHIZZLE SoggyBrent: that sucks SoggyBrent: OH MY GAHHTS... safari ate your post SoggyBrent: and it was GOOOOD poke00210: oh jesus, it's gone SoggyBrent: i'm sorry dude SoggyBrent: that's horrible poke00210: goddamit SoggyBrent: i gotta go, i only have 5% on my battery SoggyBrent: ttyl poke00210: OK see ya

poke00210 = Jihad Jimmy, Chief Defender of the Faith, kinda curious to see if IE is gonna take a huge shit on the SHoP (BCP c/o 96, Cal Band Cymbals & Glock, UCB c/o 2000)
LittleBell = Orquiza, always full of helpful suggestions (BCP c/o 98, Cal Band Cymbals & Glock, UCB c/o 2002)

LittleBell: i want to go skiing! poke00210: what kind of filipino are you? poke00210: goddamit, i just lost a huge Shining-style post poke00210: fucking safari or fucking blogger.com ate my entire fucking post poke00210: took me like 4 hours yesterday 11:05 AM LittleBell: use firefox poke00210: well now that the fucking horses have already ran away and taken huge shits all over Rancho San Jimmy, yes i might as well

POS blogger, why can't I even fucking preview my posts now?

This is not, btw, because I have a Mac... this is because blogger is a bunch of little goddam fucktards.

On a happier note (grumbles), I've found an appropriate format for chat transcripts. I'm learning this html thing, slowly but surely.

Jihad Jimmy, Chief Defender of the Faith

FUCKING BLOGGER ATE MY "THE SHINING" POST. ASSHOLE.

All play and no work makes Jimmy a dull engineer

"by the way, fyi, the electric eel is a worthless piece of shit. there. i said it."

Insaniquarium, baby... check out popcap games

JihadJimmyCDF = Jihad Jimmy, Chief Defender of the Faith
SixHearts = SixHertz, but in girl form but when you censor out his potty mouth

---

JihadJimmyCDF (9:07:24 AM): yay i'm here at work again!
SixHearts (9:15:03 AM): insaniquarium! yay!
JihadJimmyCDF (9:15:15 AM): not enough space on my HD
JihadJimmyCDF (9:15:22 AM): and disk cleanup froze up
SixHearts (9:15:25 AM): damn
JihadJimmyCDF (9:15:25 AM): fucking asshole
SixHearts (9:15:46 AM): [SEXUALLY PENETRATING] ALIEN ATE MY EXPENSIVE FISH. [POOP CHUTE].
JihadJimmyCDF (9:16:09 AM): FUCK YOU ALIENS!
SixHearts (9:16:15 AM): LOL
JihadJimmyCDF (9:20:48 AM): i'm gonna post random shit today, but i'll try to keep it off the SHoP
JihadJimmyCDF (9:21:05 AM): unless you want to see your grade school friend mentally deteriorate right before your eyes
SixHearts (9:22:11 AM): heheh, off the SHoP indeed. When you come up for air and maintain short periods of lucidity, feel free to put in some SHoP posts. ;)
JihadJimmyCDF (9:22:22 AM): sounds good
JihadJimmyCDF (9:33:39 AM): maybe i should ditch work and go to the casino
JihadJimmyCDF (9:38:13 AM): hey you ever find the link to the FYG from the SHoP?
SixHearts (9:38:33 AM): not a direct page link.
SixHearts (9:43:44 AM): which pets u use in the game?
JihadJimmyCDF (9:44:09 AM): i usually choose the pregnant welfare fish that keeps spitting out guppies
JihadJimmyCDF (9:44:15 AM): the snail that collects coins and shit
JihadJimmyCDF (9:44:33 AM): eventually the thing that collects stars?
JihadJimmyCDF (9:44:39 AM): sometimes the swordfish
SixHearts (9:44:44 AM): ah
SixHearts (9:45:14 AM): i like the snail fish, the jellyfish clyde, and gumbo who protects my [EXCRETORY] fish
JihadJimmyCDF (9:45:57 AM): what does teh jelly fish do again?
SixHearts (9:46:07 AM): collects the coins floating.
JihadJimmyCDF (9:46:17 AM): oh maybe i never got that one yet
SixHearts (9:46:21 AM): coin collectors are tops.
JihadJimmyCDF (9:46:25 AM): yeha totally
SixHearts (9:46:39 AM): The name of it is Clyde. It was my 6th fish
JihadJimmyCDF (9:47:02 AM): i think th eorderof the pets are random
SixHearts (9:47:09 AM): I'm using stinky, clyde, and my newest fish, Nimbus--a manta ray.
JihadJimmyCDF (9:47:22 AM): what does nimbus do again?
SixHearts (9:47:38 AM): tosses up any coins or food he catches to the top of the tank
SixHearts (9:47:58 AM): that way, my other [FEMALE DOGS] can try collecting the coins again.
SixHearts (9:48:15 AM): DO YOU HEAR ME, [FEMALE DOGS]?! CATCH THE [SEXUALLY PENETRATING] COINS!
SixHearts (9:48:19 AM): :P
JihadJimmyCDF (9:48:29 AM): LOL
JihadJimmyCDF (9:48:38 AM): i sense another Insaniquarium post coming up soon
JihadJimmyCDF (9:48:50 AM): you'll like my All Play and No Work post
JihadJimmyCDF (9:48:52 AM): oh boy
JihadJimmyCDF (9:48:55 AM): gonna be a long day
JihadJimmyCDF (9:48:57 AM): i wanna ditch right now
SixHearts (9:50:27 AM): [SEXUALLY PENETRATING] ALIEN ATE MY BREEDER
JihadJimmyCDF (9:50:42 AM): wait are you serious? aliens can eat pets?
SixHearts (9:51:21 AM): there are breeder fish for 200 now.
SixHearts (9:51:37 AM): dood, didn't you install the deluxe version yet?
JihadJimmyCDF (9:52:39 AM): no, still trying to free up space on my shitty hard drive
JihadJimmyCDF (9:52:51 AM): wouldn't be a problem if this stupid computer didn't keep fucking around w/virtual memory
SixHearts (9:52:56 AM): this bullshit game is getting harder.
SixHearts (9:54:58 AM): wow, the manta ray rocks.
SixHearts (9:59:48 AM): HOLY [SEXUALLY PENETRATING] [EXCREMENT] THE TANK IS FULL OF COINS!
JihadJimmyCDF (10:00:32 AM): http://www.rhothetaphi.org/jimmy/hearts/HeartHFS.jpg
SixHearts (10:00:41 AM): AHHHHHHHH!
SixHearts (10:01:10 AM): THERE ARE SO MANY FISH I CAN'T FEED THEM ALL!
SixHearts (10:01:20 AM): OH SHIT! ANOTHER [SEXUALLY PENETRATING] ALIEN!
JihadJimmyCDF (10:01:27 AM): AHHHHHH!!! NO SURVIVORS!!!
SixHearts (10:02:37 AM): [SEXUALLY PENETRATING] FISH ARE DYING EVERYWHERE!
JihadJimmyCDF (10:04:59 AM): GAME OVER, MAN!!!!!
SixHearts (10:05:05 AM): ooh, cool pet.
SixHearts (10:05:10 AM): Amp the electric eel.
SixHearts (10:05:25 AM): electrocutes your entire tank killing your fish and turning them into diamonds.
SixHearts (10:05:32 AM): wait a second...
SixHearts (10:05:37 AM): is that good?
JihadJimmyCDF (10:05:47 AM): shit, i don't know
SixHearts (10:05:48 AM): MAYBE WHEN THE [SEXUALLY PENETRATING] FISH KEEP DYING 'CAUSE I CAN'T FEED THEM ALL!
SixHearts (10:05:54 AM): [EXCRETION]!
SixHearts (10:09:32 AM): OH [SEXUALLY PENETRATING] FATASS ALIEN!
SixHearts (10:09:51 AM): this level is gonna take forever.
JihadJimmyCDF (10:10:35 AM): you should choose the pet that [inappropriate] thereby turning them into [inappropriate]
JihadJimmyCDF (10:10:51 AM): and please remind me to censor that before putting it up on the SHoP
SixHearts (10:11:37 AM): TWO [SEXUALLY PENETRATING] ALIENS AT ONCE?!
SixHearts (10:11:40 AM): OH [EXCRETION] ON ME!
SixHearts (10:11:57 AM): no putting this up on the SHoP
SixHearts (10:12:04 AM): I swear too [BLASPHEMY] much.
JihadJimmyCDF (10:12:44 AM): fuck that then you can go back and censor yourself
JihadJimmyCDF (10:12:51 AM): so you swear
JihadJimmyCDF (10:12:53 AM): big deal
JihadJimmyCDF (10:12:59 AM): that's what men our age do
JihadJimmyCDF (10:13:04 AM): especially when playing insaniquarium
SixHearts (10:24:36 AM): [SEXUALLY PENETRATING] ALIEN ATE MY $10,000 ULTRAVORE!
SixHearts (10:24:43 AM): [SEXUALLY PENETRATION] [EXCRETION] [MALE CHICKEN] [ROUND OBJECTS USED IN ATHLETICS]!@
JihadJimmyCDF (10:24:55 AM): LOL
JihadJimmyCDF (10:24:56 AM): oh fuck
SixHearts (10:27:08 AM): ok. i give up
SixHearts (10:28:03 AM): by the way, fyi, the electric eel is a worthless piece of [EXCREMENT].
SixHearts (10:28:07 AM): there. i said it.
JihadJimmyCDF (10:28:36 AM): LOL
JihadJimmyCDF (10:28:49 AM): i think we found ourselves a post title
JihadJimmyCDF (10:29:19 AM): how familiar are you w/html?
SixHearts (10:30:13 AM): hahaha
SixHearts (10:30:17 AM): pretty familiar
JihadJimmyCDF (10:30:55 AM): i'm trying to format my text using a table, but there's a ton of white space between the hr before the text and the table itself
JihadJimmyCDF (10:31:03 AM): and just you wait until you see this post
JihadJimmyCDF (10:34:55 AM): hello?
SixHearts (10:35:09 AM): i was just reading the chat transcript. LOL
SixHearts (10:35:28 AM): no wonder they call it Insaniquarium. I went insane.
JihadJimmyCDF (10:35:33 AM): LOL
JihadJimmyCDF (10:35:41 AM): i'll try it later when i free up some disk space
SixHearts (10:36:05 AM): [BLASPHEMY], dude. it's like, 10MB. What do you have in there? a 40MB HD?
JihadJimmyCDF (10:36:21 AM): i have no idea where all my fucking space went
JihadJimmyCDF (10:36:26 AM): this is an old computer
JihadJimmyCDF (10:37:08 AM): 7 megs free on a 6 gig hd
SixHearts (10:37:12 AM): ouch

---

Not sure why I'm supposed to censor out SixH's words when 1) mine are clearly visible and 2) if you're smart enough to read the SHoP, you can probably figure out what he was saying...

all my love,
Jihad Jimmy, Chief Defender of the Faith

FUCKING ALIEN ATE MY EXPENSIVE FISH. ASSHOLE.

Here we are chatting while i'm at work. We're talking about lesbian fish and the SHoPpability of a certain mystery song. The song has been relegated to elsewhere. Go find it. There's a hint somewhere in this post.

The song in question refers back to the night of the election, 2004. SixH and I were overjoyed to see similar ballot measures across the Union defeated. Go find the song to see exactly what we're talking about.

Jihad Jimmy, Chief Defender of the Faith

---

JihadJimmy = Tio Jaime! aka Jihad Jimmy, Chief Defender of the Faith
TinkleFlower = corresponding Girl Parts Name of SixH's AIM screenname

JihadJimmy (11:48:25 AM): yo
TinkleFlower (11:48:37 AM): s'up
JihadJimmy (11:48:47 AM): fourth day of not really doing anything
TinkleFlower (11:48:57 AM): join the club.
JihadJimmy (11:49:22 AM): how you be otherwise?
JihadJimmy (11:49:37 AM): wait, so you just go into the office and hang out?
TinkleFlower (11:50:38 AM): doin' okay. Actually, went into the office today for about an hour and a half. All I did was, basically, help clean the office.
TinkleFlower (11:51:04 AM): Then I ran an errand, and went home, and ate lunch....and there you have it.
JihadJimmy (11:51:22 AM): damn nice
TinkleFlower (11:51:58 AM): oh yeah. Just call me slacker.
JihadJimmy (11:52:07 AM): whatevs
JihadJimmy (11:53:50 AM): i just wanna leave and play video games right now
TinkleFlower (11:54:12 AM): hehe, I'm avoiding the video games.
JihadJimmy (11:54:26 AM): i was playing Medal of Honor last night
JihadJimmy (11:54:30 AM): fuck, i hate snipers and campers
TinkleFlower (11:54:35 AM): online?
JihadJimmy (11:54:39 AM): yeah
TinkleFlower (11:54:40 AM): LOL
TinkleFlower is idle at 12:08:07 PM.
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JihadJimmy (1:55:48 PM): fuck this
JihadJimmy (1:55:54 PM): i'm gonna play insaniquarium
TinkleFlower (1:55:59 PM): ?!
TinkleFlower (1:56:03 PM): insaniquarium?
JihadJimmy (1:56:22 PM): you never played insaniquarium?
JihadJimmy (1:56:37 PM): http://www.popcapgames.com
JihadJimmy (1:56:45 PM): play the web version
JihadJimmy (1:57:45 PM): Ok and already I fucked it up
JihadJimmy (1:57:51 PM): http://www.popcap.com
TinkleFlower (1:58:32 PM): lol
JihadJimmy (1:58:58 PM): you playing it?
JihadJimmy (1:59:07 PM): because i guarantee you'll be able to play until dnner time
JihadJimmy (1:59:10 PM): dinner
JihadJimmy (1:59:22 PM): oh! and i found this song i was writing
JihadJimmy (1:59:37 PM): i should finish and post it
JihadJimmy (1:59:46 PM): you'll like it, we were talking about it a few moons ago
TinkleFlower (1:59:53 PM): cool
JihadJimmy (2:11:00 PM): OK
JihadJimmy (2:11:02 PM): finished
JihadJimmy (2:11:14 PM): you have the mp3 of lionel richie's "All Night Long" still?
JihadJimmy (2:11:25 PM): or are you playign insaniquarium?
TinkleFlower (2:12:01 PM): insaniquarium
TinkleFlower (2:12:02 PM): shit
TinkleFlower (2:12:05 PM): it's kinda fun
JihadJimmy (2:12:16 PM): yeah dude
JihadJimmy (2:12:21 PM): it's a pretty sweet game
JihadJimmy (2:12:27 PM): just wait until you get the cool shit
TinkleFlower (2:12:49 PM): do i have to buy the fucker?
JihadJimmy (2:12:56 PM): no the web version is free
JihadJimmy (2:13:05 PM): you get maybe 15 levls or so?
TinkleFlower (2:14:08 PM): did you find a hacked version?
JihadJimmy (2:14:13 PM): no
JihadJimmy (2:14:17 PM): haven't looked, though
TinkleFlower is idle at 2:15:08 PM.
TinkleFlower (2:15:36 PM): so that's why you changed your AOL avatar to a fish.
JihadJimmy (2:15:47 PM): umm, no, but good opint
JihadJimmy (2:15:48 PM): point
JihadJimmy (2:15:57 PM): the buddyicon is the lesbian fish from Finding Nemo
TinkleFlower is no longer idle at 2:16:05 PM.
TinkleFlower (2:16:44 PM): i hate [SLUR].
JihadJimmy (2:17:23 PM): FUCKING ALIEN ATE MY EXPENSIVE FISH
JihadJimmy (2:17:30 PM): ASSHOLE
TinkleFlower (2:22:04 PM): LOL
TinkleFlower (2:22:13 PM): i know, mine did too
JihadJimmy (2:29:08 PM): OK no more insaniquarium
JihadJimmy (2:29:17 PM): when you're ready for that song, lemme know
JihadJimmy (2:29:23 PM): i don't think it's SHoPpable
TinkleFlower (2:29:57 PM): I think we should write a song titled "FUCKING ALIEN ATE MY EXPENSIVE FISH"
TinkleFlower (2:30:11 PM): "ASSHOLE"
TinkleFlower (2:30:14 PM): LOL
JihadJimmy (2:30:28 PM): LOL
JihadJimmy (2:30:43 PM): you get carnivores yet?
TinkleFlower (2:32:24 PM): hehe, yeah
TinkleFlower (2:32:30 PM): i need to move this off of my laptop
TinkleFlower (2:32:35 PM): trackpad is too fucking hard.
JihadJimmy (2:32:46 PM): heh, i'd imagine
TinkleFlower is idle at 2:41:15 PM.
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TinkleFlower returned at 2:51:37 PM.
TinkleFlower (2:51:59 PM): shit. windows fuckin' crashed while I was playing.
TinkleFlower (2:52:06 PM): I gotta stop. That's definitely a sign.
JihadJimmy (2:52:07 PM): d'oh
JihadJimmy (2:52:19 PM): no, it's a sign you weren't playing *hardcore* enough
TinkleFlower (2:52:38 PM): LOL
TinkleFlower is idle at 2:54:21 PM.
JihadJimmy (2:57:38 PM): OK now i need a ruling on a song
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TinkleFlower (2:58:08 PM): what about "all night long"?
JihadJimmy (2:58:23 PM): we were talking about a parody "fuck you [CENSORED]"
JihadJimmy (2:58:25 PM): and i finished it
JihadJimmy (2:58:30 PM): (goodbye shock value)
TinkleFlower (2:58:38 PM): oh god.
JihadJimmy (2:58:38 PM): it's not really SHoP appropriate
TinkleFlower (2:58:46 PM): most definitely not.
JihadJimmy (2:58:51 PM): but i have it in a table right now against a black background
JihadJimmy (2:59:14 PM): so if you want to read it you'll have to highlight it
JihadJimmy (2:59:26 PM): is it SHoPpable now?
TinkleFlower (3:00:27 PM): um.
TinkleFlower (3:00:34 PM): probably not still.
TinkleFlower (3:00:37 PM): heh
JihadJimmy (3:00:42 PM): no NP
JihadJimmy (3:00:45 PM): just wanted to check first
JihadJimmy (3:00:55 PM): i'll provide a link, but will still have the lyrics blacked out
TinkleFlower (3:03:06 PM): ok
JihadJimmy (3:03:20 PM): have the mp3 ready so you can sing along
TinkleFlower (3:03:49 PM): heh, okay
TinkleFlower is idle at 3:06:11 PM.
TinkleFlower is no longer idle at 3:06:56 PM.
TinkleFlower is idle at 3:08:08 PM.
TinkleFlower (3:08:57 PM): My mp3 is playing.
TinkleFlower is no longer idle at 3:08:58 PM.
TinkleFlower (3:09:06 PM): but I have no "Fuck you [CENSORED]" lyrics!
JihadJimmy (3:09:37 PM): Hey. chill out
JihadJimmy (3:09:49 PM): go read the hot chocolate post, remind yourself about patience
JihadJimmy (3:10:04 PM): and really now, SixH, at what price decency???
TinkleFlower (3:10:18 PM): blow me.
TinkleFlower (3:10:24 PM): :D
JihadJimmy (3:10:26 PM): You should be proud of me that I didn't just try to ramrod this song into the SHoP
TinkleFlower (3:10:44 PM): 8-O <-- make like this and get ready.
JihadJimmy (3:10:50 PM): Trust me on this one: 1) it'll be worth the wait, and 2)
JihadJimmy (3:10:52 PM): pigfucker
TinkleFlower (3:10:54 PM): LOL
JihadJimmy (3:11:05 PM): 2) you'll appreciate the precautions I'm taking...
JihadJimmy (3:13:18 PM): whoa shit!
JihadJimmy (3:13:20 PM): emergency!
JihadJimmy (3:13:31 PM): lyrics clearly available on xanga
JihadJimmy (3:13:33 PM): shit!
JihadJimmy (3:13:47 PM): oh fuck fuck fuck
TinkleFlower (3:14:49 PM): LOL
JihadJimmy (3:15:02 PM): this is not what i had in mind
JihadJimmy (3:15:46 PM): are you reading it right now?
JihadJimmy (3:15:54 PM): read it quick before i change the text color to black
TinkleFlower (3:16:24 PM): see, aren't you glad you didn't put this on the shop now? :D
JihadJimmy (3:16:44 PM): no, aren't *you* glad I didn't put this on the SHoP?
JihadJimmy (3:16:46 PM): LOL
JihadJimmy (3:17:00 PM): good thng nobody reads this xanga blog
TinkleFlower (3:17:01 PM): LOL
TinkleFlower (3:17:04 PM): hahaha
JihadJimmy (3:17:06 PM): i hope not right now at least
TinkleFlower is idle at 3:18:04 PM.
JihadJimmy (3:18:49 PM): OK refresh
JihadJimmy (3:18:54 PM): situation rectified
TinkleFlower is no longer idle at 3:19:08 PM.
JihadJimmy (3:19:44 PM): when i previewed on xanga, it was black text against a black box
JihadJimmy (3:19:52 PM): but not when i publsihed
JihadJimmy (3:19:56 PM): published
TinkleFlower (3:20:03 PM): hehe, oops
JihadJimmy (3:20:21 PM): you like the song
JihadJimmy (3:20:23 PM): ?
TinkleFlower (3:20:55 PM): it's really good, actually.
TinkleFlower (3:21:10 PM): I like the "I hope you die from AIDS" line. Classic. :D
JihadJimmy (3:21:23 PM): borrowed the sentiment from michael savage
TinkleFlower (3:21:31 PM): AHAHAHAH
JihadJimmy (3:21:58 PM): OK i'm going to reference the xanga page for curious and resourceful SHoPpers
TinkleFlower (3:23:05 PM): now only if our viewers weren't just that clockwork orange google reference.
TinkleFlower (3:23:12 PM): whatever the fuck that is.
JihadJimmy (3:23:31 PM): yeah what the shit is that anyway?