PREVIOUSLY ON THE SHoP...
FUCKING ALIEN ATE MY EXPENSIVE FISH. ASSHOLE.
"by the way, fyi, the electric eel is a worthless piece of shit. there. i said it."
Oh fuck me, your lady friend got a voice?
Today Was a Good DayLord, I was born a gamblin' man FUCKING A-Q PAI GOW PUSHES AGAINST MY ROYAL FLUSH. ASSHOLE
THE FOLLOWING TAKES PLACE BETWEEN 8:00 PM AND 9:00 PM.
EVENTS OCCUR IN REAL TIME.
Went on another indian casino junket w/my grandma again. Pai Gow Poker was not kind. Again. A fucking buttload of Pai Gows to start off, and I'm down $50 in like 30 minutes. Never hit that hot streak like i wanted to, and the progression never got past 6 units. I won on 3 units only once. WTF.And I'm not even pissed off about the Pai Gows either. Toward the end, I had three hands of Two Pairs, and each lost.
Tio Jaime: Pair of 3's and a Pair of 5's, with A-Q Low.
Gold Country Casino: Pair of 6's and a Pair of 8's, A-K Low. ASSHOLES.
Tio Jaime: Jacks and Eights.
Gold Country Casino: Aces and Queens. FUCK YOU, GOLD COUNTRY.
Tio Jaime: Aces and Jacks. Put that in your pipe and smoke it.
Gold Country Casino: Aces and Queens.
Kickers: Tio Jaime's Queen loses to Gold Country's King. GO EAT A BIG ONE YOU INDIAN FUCKS.
Yeah. Fucking assholes. My Aces didn't win, they didn't even push. They fucking lost. I'm not going to explain it, so if you're still playing catch-up, go visit bodog and The Wizard of Odds and see why this is shitty. Also, please to be visiting those two sites if you're still trying to figure out whether or not I split the Jacks and Eights or even the Aces and Jacks in those last two hands.
If you're SixHertz and still lost, you can even give me a call and I'd be happy to explain it to you. Not that you'll listen.
Still reading? Then I have a treat for you because you're obviously a Degenerate Gambler like myself. Check this out-- I was dealt what is literally the shittiest hand possible in Pai Gow Poker!
| Pai Gow, 9-High! |
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Do I need to explain why the 9-High is the lowest possible hand in Pai Gow Poker,
Oh, almost forgot: Gold Country Casino sucks because 1) they don't allow cigars, and 2) it's a major hassle just to claim your free money. Almost not worth it, seeing as to how my time would've been better spent waiting in line for an open spot at the tables...
Jihad Jimmy, Minister of War Crimes and Chief Defender of the Faith
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And really, it's only fitting that he who introduced Tio Jaime to strip clubs and bodog.com chime in...
| that chick would make a good stripper |
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| 7:47:13 PM MwHCock: post a SHoP update 7:47:14 PM TioJaime (Autoreply): Watching TV/Movie 7:48:14 PM TioJaime: i'll have some soon 10:09:00 PM MwHCock: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bDabp9h7ZOY 10:09:50 PM TioJaime: why do i want to go to the zoo all of a sudden? 10:10:15 PM MwHCock: that chick would make a good stripper 10:10:39 PM TioJaime: probably already is. you ever watch Beauty and the Geek? 10:10:48 PM MwHCock: no 10:10:50 PM TioJaime: check out how many of the Beauties are "cocktail waitresses" MwHCock went away (10:15:14 PM) Away Message: Late night In-N-Out Burger run (10:15:15 PM) MwHCock went idle (10:33:25 PM) 10:46:32 PM poke00210: there. three new posts. |
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