PREVIOUSLY ON THE SHoP...
"It's just gonna be another one of those days..."
How wonderful it must be for you never to have to listen to the men around you who are much smarter than you are.
Oh man, I just shot Tony Almeida in the face!
i don't like that creepy spanish mole fag
CTU: San Andreas
wouldn't that have been cool if he'd hanged himself, and surprise! no virus!
and now Jack's armed. get some
ahh, apparently it's the Ukrainians who have a virus, not some wacky Mexicans
hey look, there's my Willing Suspension of Disbelief flying away...
Oh man, I just shot Chase Edmunds in the hand!
realize, stupid kim, that you wouldn't hate Nina Myers and her hotness if you hadn't been stupid in Season One
OK i'm sorry. this is a stupider B-story. That's not chloe's kid?
oh wonderful, Chase is the father. what a stupid ending.
LOL "no you don't." / blam blam blam
dude, spanish mole fag! don't you go dying on us!
maybe slap him around, michelle dessler-style?
"I'm not taking this action because THE SKY IS FALLING..."
oh sweet! it's the whore wife from OVER * THERE
yeah, right Tits McGhee, try to lawyer up on Jack Bauer
oh dude, pull a gun on Tits McGhee!
oh yeah, i like how the oriental CTU-dude is named "Baker"
I like you Tits McGhee. I shall cheer for you.
Oh man, I just punched Sherry Palmer in the face!
THE FOLLOWING TAKES PLACE BETWEEN 10:00 PM AND 12:00 AM.
EVENTS OCCUR IN REAL TIME.
And here we are. 24 episodes,
If you've been wondering what's been happening on the SHoP for the past few weeks, your favorite SHoP Overlord Tio Jaime has been writing 3am Criticisms of Fox's renowned dramedy "24", Day 3. OK, well I thought it was funny at times, maybe you think differently. I just busted out laughing whenever Nina Myers or Sherry Palmer got the beat down. I'm chuckling thinking about it now... there's a bit of misogynist in all of us, I suppose.
Go rent or borrow or steal the DVD boxset of 24 season 3, and you can follow along with the episode in real time. That's why I kept the timestamps in. And when I have more time, I'll post the origins of the 3am Criticism and even some Dual-Live 3am Criticisms of some presidential debates from 2004.
In the meantime, if you want to make the SHoP, keep your eyes peeled for invitations to join Live 3am Criticisms with your Favorite SHoP Overlord from time to time. It'll help if you're in the Pacific time zone too, btw.
Jihad Jimmy, Minister of War Crimes and Chief Defender of the Faith
3am Criticism of "24" Day 3, Episode 24! |
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You are now in chat room "BlowMeAIM." JihadJimmy858 has entered the chat room. JihadJimmy858 (10:35:09 PM): i'm surprised that name made it through JihadJimmy858 (10:36:18 PM): OK here we go! JihadJimmy858 (10:36:29 PM): the Season 3 Finale of 24! JihadJimmy858 (10:36:48 PM): LET'S DO THIS! JihadJimmy858 (10:36:50 PM): JihadJimmy858 (10:36:57 PM): PREVIOUSLY ON 24 JihadJimmy858 (10:37:08 PM): PRESIDENT DAVID PALMER JihadJimmy858 (10:37:14 PM): LOL how's your face? JihadJimmy858 (10:37:37 PM): TONY ALMEIDA JihadJimmy858 (10:37:53 PM): STEPHEN SAUNDERS JihadJimmy858 (10:38:10 PM): JACK BAUER!!! JihadJimmy858 (10:38:28 PM): i like how jack stepped on that guy JihadJimmy858 (10:38:52 PM): THE FOLLOWING TAKES PLACE BETWEEN 12:00 PM AND 1:00 PM. JihadJimmy858 (10:39:28 PM): alternate take! JihadJimmy858 (10:42:11 PM): it's Spanish Mole Fag's wife Theresa! JihadJimmy858 (10:42:16 PM): ooh, she's cute JihadJimmy858 (10:43:17 PM): that was a long deleted dealie JihadJimmy858 (10:46:12 PM): hmm, Mrs. Spanish Mole Fag saw Saunders' picture... and then they're bringing him out... JihadJimmy858 (10:47:25 PM): that deleted scene sucked JihadJimmy858 (10:48:50 PM): ha ha Kim, go stick your shitty empathy up your ass JihadJimmy858 (10:48:54 PM): or play the mom-card JihadJimmy858 (10:50:18 PM): is she going nutso? JihadJimmy858 (10:51:08 PM): these deleted scenes are lit very brightly JihadJimmy858 (10:51:32 PM): and Saunders is gonna be killed by Mrs. Spanish Mole Fag before he can ID the courier, huh JihadJimmy858 (10:52:04 PM): LOL oh shit did i call it! JihadJimmy858 (10:52:32 PM): crazy spanish mole widow! JihadJimmy858 (10:52:58 PM): 12:11:14 JihadJimmy858 (10:53:05 PM): 12:15:28 JihadJimmy858 (10:55:27 PM): "Sherry's dead." JihadJimmy858 (10:56:28 PM): heh, they're politically free, wayne says JihadJimmy858 (10:57:04 PM): David Palmer going nuts! JihadJimmy858 (11:00:08 PM): enough yapping. go find the fucking courier JihadJimmy858 (11:00:39 PM): bad guy has knife JihadJimmy858 (11:01:05 PM): shit, bad guy gone JihadJimmy858 (11:01:33 PM): stabbed officers JihadJimmy858 (11:02:11 PM): shit they're on city streets! JihadJimmy858 (11:02:40 PM): well, it might not have been Ravens... JihadJimmy858 (11:02:42 PM): 12:24:17 JihadJimmy858 (11:02:51 PM): 12:28:32 JihadJimmy858 (11:04:04 PM): Raebens, Ravens, whatever his shitty name is JihadJimmy858 (11:04:49 PM): Tony's back in play! JihadJimmy858 (11:04:53 PM): 8TRI922 JihadJimmy858 (11:05:04 PM): oh yeah fucker, run! JihadJimmy858 (11:05:08 PM): RUN, FUCKER! JihadJimmy858 (11:05:31 PM): Nice Malibu. Not. JihadJimmy858 (11:06:24 PM): yeah bitch! JihadJimmy858 (11:06:41 PM): wow, he knows how to drive that Malibu JihadJimmy858 (11:07:02 PM): he's in a middle school JihadJimmy858 (11:07:30 PM): yeah run, fucker! JihadJimmy858 (11:07:56 PM): 12:33:46 JihadJimmy858 (11:09:29 PM): maybe chase will die because he predicted that he'd survive today JihadJimmy858 (11:10:26 PM): ooh yeah CTU-momma JihadJimmy858 (11:10:55 PM): yeah fuck you kids JihadJimmy858 (11:12:07 PM): oops, chase looked at the fish and now the dude is brawling w/the courier in the science classroom JihadJimmy858 (11:12:14 PM): although this is just a deleted scene JihadJimmy858 (11:14:16 PM): LOL it's stuck to chase's arm fucker JihadJimmy858 (11:14:40 PM): eat it fucker! JihadJimmy858 (11:15:34 PM): shorter fight sequence on TV =( JihadJimmy858 (11:17:47 PM): gotta talk to a CTU-team JihadJimmy858 (11:17:52 PM): stick it in the fishtank JihadJimmy858 (11:17:58 PM): FISH TANK JihadJimmy858 (11:18:17 PM): hey SF POlice JihadJimmy858 (11:18:38 PM): 03:51 seconds counting down JihadJimmy858 (11:18:52 PM): i like how the thing is beeping more quickly now to add to the tension JihadJimmy858 (11:19:49 PM): well of course there's no Green wire JihadJimmy858 (11:20:02 PM): just stick his hand in the fish tank already JihadJimmy858 (11:20:21 PM): OH YES CUT HIS FUCKING ARM OFF JihadJimmy858 (11:20:34 PM): THAT'S EVEN BETTER THAN THE FISH TANK! JihadJimmy858 (11:21:40 PM): OH FUCKING HARD CORE CUT HIS SHITTY ARM OFF JACK BAUER JihadJimmy858 (11:21:45 PM): phone JihadJimmy858 (11:21:57 PM): OH SHIT! IN-TENSE JihadJimmy858 (11:22:22 PM): OH SHIT 17 SECONDS JihadJimmy858 (11:22:47 PM): HE INFECTED THE FRIDGE! JihadJimmy858 (11:22:51 PM): 12:47:11 JihadJimmy858 (11:24:19 PM): well, full containment except for the quarantine areas which may not contain all infected dudes JihadJimmy858 (11:27:21 PM): 12:51:24 JihadJimmy858 (11:28:47 PM): yay they're kissing so far this is a stupid ending JihadJimmy858 (11:32:34 PM): oh great. it's kim. JihadJimmy858 (11:34:54 PM): is he gonna cry again? JihadJimmy858 (11:35:23 PM): he's crying again JihadJimmy858 (11:35:33 PM): special promotional consideration given to Ford JihadJimmy858 (11:36:26 PM): 01:00:00 JihadJimmy858 (11:36:43 PM): back to work! JihadJimmy858 has left the chat room. |
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