Same Shit, Different Ignoramus Celebrity Opening His Stupid Pie-Hole

OK so there are two approaches to this, both equally funny. Try explaining these to a politically retarded LIbEral (heh, sorry for the redundancy) if you want to make him mad. It's like they're eff-ing allergic to logic or something. I dunno anymore.

And I didn't make this headline up. God, I wish I did. Or at the very least, I wish I was stealing this from The Onion, but holy crap in a pita, I'm not...

Pop singer Moby: Make my kid 'gay'
Musician also rips DeLay, Coulter, Hannity as 'immoral' right-wingers

In an interview with Planet Out, a publication geared toward homosexuals, the musician, who is not "gay," was lamenting so-called homophobia in society when he suggested his future child should be raised to be a homosexual. "As a matter of fact, I was talking to my friend Laura, who sings on [my latest] record, and we're both getting to the point where we want to start families," Moby said. "We're convinced that if we have children, we're going to do everything in our power to make them gay. Like maybe drinking a lot of extra soy milk while she's pregnant, or anything that would work to make that happen. I'd just rather have a really sharp, interesting, smart gay son than some big dumb hetero meathead."

ANGER. BOILING. MUST. RESIST.

WAIT. NEW URGE.

NEED. CONTROL BLADDER. GONNA WET MYSELF.

At first my reaction is rage-- a good, go-to jimmy-reaction wouldn't you say? But then I realize that even the staunchest of democruds will be clamoring for this multi-platinum Tard to just "STFU and play your shitty music". And now the rage gives way to mocking ridicule.

Much like that dumb C.U.N.T. of a protestor in San Diego who, while trying to yell at me at point-blank range, got a liberal dose of her comrade's bullhorn in her ear and winced and retreated. This illicited a lot of derisive laughter from the Chief Defender of the Faith and intervention by one of San Diego's Finest. Holy shit that was just fucking brilliant.

OK go re-read the first sentence of this post. First approach is, "Moby, you retarded pinhead. If homosexuality is natural like you liberals claim, what if your son is truly straight? Would you try to turn a right-handed child in to a lefty? Probably not, because you don't seem like the type with foresight enough to try to unnaturally cultivate a Kirk Reuter or a Jaime Moyer."

Second approach: "Moby, you retarded pinhead. So what you're saying is that homosexuality is a lifestyle choice and that all homos everywhere are really straight at heart, but have just made a choice somewhere along the road of life. And they had to make that choice on their own because they didn't have a crazy father who was over-eagerly encouraging of a buttsex-o-licious lifestyle."

Celebritard, continued

Moby writes: "I hope that Tom DeLay sticks around for a long time. "He's such a profound and continuing source of embarrassment for the right wing in America that his resignation or indictment would actually work to the detriment of the left wing in the states. "The progressive movement needs more crazy and amoral/immoral right-wing politicians and pundits like Tom DeLay and Newt Gingrich and Ann Coulter and Sean Hannity. "Seeing as the progressive movement [is], sadly, not so good at self-promotion, the progressives have to rely on crazy right-wingers like DeLay and Coulter to drive people away from the Republican Party and into the ranks of the Democrats."

OK, slow down, lightbulb-head! Your Unka Jimmy can't type that fast, you crazy fag wrangler, you!

First, what's the big stink about Tom DeLay? He's no Newt. When we get somebody Newt-tastic, I'll start listening to everybody's complaints. At which point i will pulverize them to a fine (albeit, stoopid-inducing) powder.

Second, and most importantly, "the progressive movement" is "not so good at self-promotion?" WTF, are you retarded? That was not a rhetorical question. Are you retarded? My God, this is even more clueless than the whining about the "Republican Media" that your crazy-go-nuts die-hards keep trying to blow up everybody's asses. This is the very nature of the progressive movement, or as it was called before it tried to disguise itself, the Liberal Movement. How else, besides brown-nosing, mentally-masturbating self-promotion are you supposed to fight any status quo anywhere?

This is sad. The more I see these morons in action, the more I want to smack them and tell them how to be better LIbEralS. I've learned so much about being a liberal from Berkeley and San Fran-fucking-cisco and the rest of the bay area, that I want to teach the unenlightened if only so I can bring the school-age. How does that make you idiots feel? I can out-liberal you.

I've gone up against the LIbEralS of the 90s, and these lazy-asses nowadays don't even come close. I'm taking my bat and going home. This isn't even a challenge anymore.

Not with mental magicians like this pitching underhand to me. With tennis balls.

Jihad Jimmy, Chief Defender of the Faith