Well crap. Had I known the Snark was going to send traffic our way, I would've posted this earlier. As my luck would have it, I didn't really have time to blog. Just enough time to make the rounds. Well, here it is. Separated by mere minutes from the previous 3am Criticism of Grey's Anatomy, last night was truly TV-tastic.
Amazing Race fans visiting from the HoS, caveat: my recaps are live, no rewinding, and really not very entertaining unless you watch a tape (or tivo or downloaded episode if you're a technology tool) along w/the 3amC. Don't rely on me for plot summary. Also, I use a lot more bad words and slurs than the Snark. Don't say you weren't warned.
Lay dollars to win doughnuts, however, that the Snark doesn't get as many hits as the SHoP does for "amazing race cleavage" or "amazing race hayden boobs". Oh that's right. Bow Down to the House of Pain.
all my love,
Jihad Jimmy, Chief Defender of the Faith
TAR7, episode 7 (original broadcast date 12 April 2005 You are now in chat room “TAR7ep8ithink.”
TioJaime858 has entered the chat room.
TioJaime858 (9:00:55 PM): OK now it's time for the amazing race 7
TioJaime858 (9:00:59 PM): "piece of trash redneck"
TioJaime858 (9:01:25 PM): too bad brothers
TioJaime858 (9:01:40 PM): Five teams remain, who will be philiminated.. next?
TioJaime858 (9:01:45 PM): A! MAZE ! ING
TioJaime858 (9:01:47 PM): AMAZING
TioJaime858 (9:01:52 PM): A! MAZE ING
TioJaime858 (9:01:56 PM): AMAZING
TioJaime858 (9:02:03 PM): A! MAZING RACE!
TioJaime858 (9:02:09 PM): A! MAZING RACE!
TioJaime858 (9:02:09 PM): A! MAZING RACE
TioJaime858 (9:02:14 PM): A! MAZE! ING! AMAZING
TioJaime858 (9:02:19 PM): A! MAZE! ING! AMAZING!
TioJaime858 (9:02:27 PM): no rest for the jihad jimmy
TioJaime858 (9:02:42 PM): check the time stamps....
TioJaime858 (9:03:31 PM): bacon!
TioJaime858 (9:03:32 PM): bacon!
TioJaime858 (9:03:33 PM): bacon!
TioJaime858 (9:03:53 PM): why do i want to orally pleasure megan mullaly?
TioJaime858 (9:05:18 PM): la la la ron and kelly
TioJaime858 (9:05:25 PM): rob-tard first to depart 12:45am
TioJaime858 (9:05:37 PM): teams must now fly more than 5000 miles to lucknow india
TioJaime858 (9:05:45 PM): go to a religious palace
TioJaime858 (9:06:03 PM): STFU
TioJaime858 (9:06:05 PM): man that was fast
TioJaime858 (9:06:17 PM): yeah five teams and the old people
TioJaime858 (9:06:22 PM): please please please God kick them off
TioJaime858 (9:06:29 PM): ron/kelly 2nd to depart 12:46?
TioJaime858 (9:06:34 PM): oh fuck you rob
TioJaime858 (9:06:47 PM): uChenna and Joyce
TioJaime858 (9:06:50 PM): india!
TioJaime858 (9:07:07 PM): OK that was nice
TioJaime858 (9:07:20 PM): racist fags fourth to depart
TioJaime858 (9:07:28 PM): you are so amazingly racist
TioJaime858 (9:07:35 PM): old dudes last to depart 345am
TioJaime858 (9:07:49 PM): yeah lots of old people never dreamed they'd make it that far
TioJaime858 (9:07:56 PM): hey there's something on your face
TioJaime858 (9:08:04 PM): hunh?
TioJaime858 (9:08:17 PM): STFU YOU STUPID BOSTARD
TioJaime858 (9:08:37 PM): dude, it's a plane. lots of people besides indiana jones ride planes
TioJaime858 (9:09:36 PM): first stop francistown, botswana
TioJaime858 (9:09:37 PM): heh and they're bottlenecked already
TioJaime858 (9:09:43 PM): yay for fags, bostards infertile blacks and annoying southerners
TioJaime858 (9:10:05 PM): cheesedicks
TioJaime858 (9:10:16 PM): OK shit, *I* didn't even know that bombay and mumbai are the same thing
TioJaime858 (9:10:29 PM): gretchen is all tore up
TioJaime858 (9:10:59 PM): ooh yeah five minutes over several hours-long flights
TioJaime858 (9:11:24 PM): and fucking rob, can't even speak proper fucking english
TioJaime858 (9:11:36 PM): yeah
TioJaime858 (9:11:47 PM): i'd want the old people in the finals too becuase they'd be easy to beat no shit
TioJaime858 (9:12:08 PM): wow kelly is a godam genius
TioJaime858 (9:12:21 PM): wow she's janky
TioJaime858 (9:12:33 PM): perhaps i should just find myself a nice normal californian woman
TioJaime858 (9:12:58 PM): i wouldn't say "front runners" but rather insipid dipshits
TioJaime858 (9:14:30 PM): that's because lynn and alex are using you like the white man has used the black man since the beginning of the niuverse
TioJaime858 (9:14:34 PM): universe
TioJaime858 (9:15:29 PM): "speak english, boss?"
TioJaime858 (9:15:32 PM): YES I FUCKING GET IT YOU WERE IN IRAQ
TioJaime858 (9:15:41 PM): JESUS YOU'RE WORSE THAN THE GODDAM NFL WIVES
TioJaime858 (9:15:46 PM): AND THE CHIP/REICHEN FAGS
TioJaime858 (9:15:52 PM): FUCK YOU YOU STUPID STUPID PEOPLE
TioJaime858 (9:15:57 PM): see, this is the appeal of TAR
TioJaime858 (9:16:04 PM): regular dunderheaded stupid people racing
TioJaime858 (9:16:08 PM): you can relate to them
TioJaime858 (9:16:19 PM): or at least you know people like that
TioJaime858 (9:16:26 PM): rob-tard and amber?
TioJaime858 (9:16:41 PM): how can you identify w/that
TioJaime858 (9:16:44 PM): you can't
TioJaime858 (9:16:53 PM): and don't pull this bostard red sox shit
TioJaime858 (9:17:12 PM): you red sox fuckers have finally pissed me off
TioJaime858 (9:17:24 PM): OK fags and old people getting tripped up at the taxi
TioJaime858 (9:17:28 PM): oh fuck me
TioJaime858 (9:17:38 PM): and now the stupid assed gnome is on my goddam tv
TioJaime858 (9:17:45 PM): eat my shit you pig fucker
TioJaime858 (9:21:18 PM): you're in india, yes
TioJaime858 (9:21:32 PM): wuld you like to make some snide remark about minorities?
TioJaime858 (9:22:17 PM): aside: i love making snide remarks about minorities, but i don';t think i have carte blanche because i'm a minority
TioJaime858 (9:22:32 PM): speaking of two women playing a big role...
TioJaime858 (9:22:47 PM): you're looking for the damn clue box you stupid cunt
TioJaime858 (9:23:00 PM): rob-tard in first place
TioJaime858 (9:23:12 PM): proceed to steel emporium
TioJaime858 (9:23:17 PM): damn i still have to do my taxes
TioJaime858 (9:23:26 PM): ron/kelly 2nd place
TioJaime858 (9:23:48 PM): umm, how new of a way is it you tard
TioJaime858 (9:24:00 PM): it's a horse and a cart
TioJaime858 (9:24:20 PM): he didn't need to wrap his black, infertile head
TioJaime858 (9:24:39 PM): i hope old dudes make the final four
TioJaime858 (9:24:53 PM): you stupid queer
TioJaime858 (9:25:05 PM): tha'ts so annoying when you act all fruity
TioJaime858 (9:25:08 PM): you damn fags
TioJaime858 (9:25:17 PM): that's a small horse
TioJaime858 (9:25:26 PM): "omigod"
TioJaime858 (9:25:30 PM): queers
TioJaime858 (9:25:51 PM): 2nd of only 3 yields
TioJaime858 (9:26:03 PM): do it
TioJaime858 (9:26:11 PM): you're not gonna get another chance you trash redneck
TioJaime858 (9:26:20 PM): nice job dumbfucks
TioJaime858 (9:26:32 PM): and why must they speak to the fucking camera
TioJaime858 (9:26:44 PM): oh yes, jimmy, but a roadblock is a task that only one person can perform
TioJaime858 (9:26:54 PM): yeah this is a chick event
TioJaime858 (9:27:04 PM): why the fuck would that matter?
TioJaime858 (9:27:08 PM): if you see one, you're gonna take it
TioJaime858 (9:27:18 PM): you stupid cunt
TioJaime858 (9:27:22 PM): stick to the bible
TioJaime858 (9:27:34 PM): rob-tard
TioJaime858 (9:27:44 PM): cycle-rickshaw to aishbagh
TioJaime858 (9:27:57 PM): and a wonderful indian gas station
TioJaime858 (9:28:03 PM): you did a good job BABY
TioJaime858 (9:28:12 PM): c'mon BABY move fast
TioJaime858 (9:28:12 PM): i got one BABE
TioJaime858 (9:28:16 PM): shit that was fast! 3 of em just like that
TioJaime858 (9:28:38 PM): YEAH NO SHIT YOU SHOULD'VE YIELDED THEM
TioJaime858 (9:28:53 PM): THAT'S WHAT YOU GET FOR LISTENING TO THE DUMBSHIT
TioJaime858 (9:29:10 PM): oh yes, here's wher ethe fags get eliminated for nto yielding the old people who wouldn't die
TioJaime858 (9:29:12 PM): queer
TioJaime858 (9:29:23 PM): QUEER
TioJaime858 (9:29:27 PM): queers in 3rd place
TioJaime858 (9:29:40 PM): queers
TioJaime858 (9:29:44 PM): damn i hate gays
TioJaime858 (9:30:08 PM): uChenna /joyce in 4th
TioJaime858 (9:30:10 PM): uh oh
TioJaime858 (9:30:16 PM): oh and now she's confused
TioJaime858 (9:30:19 PM): they're fucked
TioJaime858 (9:30:32 PM): they should have a special old people edition of the amazing race
TioJaime858 (9:30:52 PM): wow they must have had toedit out a lot of shit
TioJaime858 (9:31:11 PM): no you haven't opened every doggone box there is
TioJaime858 (9:31:18 PM): else you'd be on the bicycle rickshaw already
TioJaime858 (9:31:20 PM): tard
TioJaime858 (9:32:14 PM): that's just wrong
TioJaime858 (9:32:36 PM): and now you're going to teach girls everywhere that their tampons can withstand the weight of two people in a boat
TioJaime858 (9:32:41 PM): great
TioJaime858 (9:32:46 PM): maybe they had a disclaimer
TioJaime858 (9:33:23 PM): MGD chick is hot, but on the whole annoying
TioJaime858 (9:33:42 PM): wow that SBC DSL commercial was funny the first time i saw it
TioJaime858 (9:34:02 PM): "give em the 411"
TioJaime858 (9:34:07 PM): "Okey-doke"
TioJaime858 (9:34:08 PM): great
TioJaime858 (9:34:22 PM): a black-white buddy buddy puppet schtick
TioJaime858 (9:34:52 PM): nice job old chick
TioJaime858 (9:35:33 PM): YAY YOU'RE FUCKING ANNOYING
TioJaime858 (9:36:04 PM): hey we're kinda overdue for a iraq reminder, aren't we?
TioJaime858 (9:36:14 PM): a detour is a choice between two tasks, each with its own pros and cons
TioJaime858 (9:36:17 PM): Solid or Liquid
TioJaime858 (9:36:32 PM): fill two burlap sacks w/175lbs of coal
TioJaime858 (9:36:34 PM): holy shit
TioJaime858 (9:37:07 PM): or go serve tea to indian business dudes
TioJaime858 (9:37:48 PM): ooh! they're gonna do the overcrowded indian train thing this episode
TioJaime858 (9:37:50 PM): hopefully
TioJaime858 (9:38:00 PM): not that there's anymore grope-worthy chicks
TioJaime858 (9:38:04 PM): you fucking queen
TioJaime858 (9:38:08 PM): "ow my butt hurts"
TioJaime858 (9:38:17 PM): no fucking shit you damn fag
TioJaime858 (9:38:52 PM): they're all doing the tea
TioJaime858 (9:39:02 PM): i think i would've chosen the coal
TioJaime858 (9:40:21 PM): oh what these foreigners mujst think of us wacky stupid americans
TioJaime858 (9:40:36 PM): and now they're bothering people @ work
TioJaime858 (9:40:50 PM): not that that looked like a normal office
TioJaime858 (9:40:56 PM): wow that got annoying
TioJaime858 (9:41:10 PM): "do you have a business card?"
TioJaime858 (9:41:13 PM): "do you have a business card?"
TioJaime858 (9:41:27 PM): heh fuck you
TioJaime858 (9:41:33 PM): they're gonna follow you oh yeah
TioJaime858 (9:42:06 PM): wow this has to be one of the most annoying tasks ever
TioJaime858 (9:42:58 PM): why are they cheering for the old people?
TioJaime858 (9:43:15 PM): oh please don't do the coal thing
TioJaime858 (9:43:26 PM): OK good the old people are doing the tea
TioJaime858 (9:44:13 PM): why don't you call out your fucking names instead of annoying these nice indians?
TioJaime858 (9:44:44 PM): yay we're fags!
TioJaime858 (9:45:05 PM): maybe indians like fags too
TioJaime858 (9:45:07 PM): queers
TioJaime858 (9:49:03 PM): "total jane fonda workout"
TioJaime858 (9:49:04 PM): yay for fags delivering tea!
TioJaime858 (9:49:25 PM): SHUT THE FUCK UP YOU STUPID BOSTARD-FUCK
TioJaime858 (9:50:41 PM): fuck you you sleazy fuck
TioJaime858 (9:51:00 PM): "teams must now make their way 1.5 miles to this building, to the roof"
TioJaime858 (9:51:11 PM): oh they weren't kidding about "phil and the mat"
TioJaime858 (9:51:15 PM): perhaps a new twist?
TioJaime858 (9:52:45 PM): you know one of these days, indians will send wacky indians to america to goof on us in *our* office buildings
TioJaime858 (9:53:00 PM): oh noes, you indian dude, you caught a case of the gay!
TioJaime858 (9:53:54 PM): yeah, fuck you indian dude
TioJaime858 (9:54:07 PM): give that other indian dude his tea, you wacky bitches!
TioJaime858 (9:54:34 PM): OK new twist?
TioJaime858 (9:54:42 PM): maybe phil executes the most annoying team
TioJaime858 (9:54:53 PM): ooh a phil-clue!
TioJaime858 (9:54:57 PM): this is a twist
TioJaime858 (9:55:06 PM): that's somewhat annoying
TioJaime858 (9:55:14 PM): oh, to be continued?
TioJaime858 (9:55:19 PM): Stay Chuned for scenes from our next episode
TioJaime858 (9:55:31 PM): yeah the whole damn season is a to be continued
TioJaime858 (9:55:57 PM): bacon bacon bacon!
TioJaime858 (9:56:42 PM): oh it's the closeted gay dudes who wait around their driveways for 12 hours to watch weeds die
TioJaime858 (9:57:15 PM): on the next episode of TAR
TioJaime858 (9:57:26 PM): ooh old dudes gone wwild
TioJaime858 (9:57:32 PM): camels get pissed at the americans
TioJaime858 (9:57:38 PM): OK that's all for now
TioJaime858 (9:57:40 PM): tax time
TioJaime858 (9:57:42 PM): yay
TioJaime858 (9:58:06 PM): ooh another joan chick
TioJaime858 (9:58:29 PM): joan of arcadia is hotoh my, my tacoma can beat adrenalitis
TioJaime858 (9:58:36 PM): oh hi hot chick in purple
TioJaime858 (9:58:48 PM): ha ha fuck you cats
TioJaime858 (9:59:01 PM): yeah whatever
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