Don't you dumb-holes have anything better to be doing?

Hey, here's an idea. Instead of all you Little Brains out there wasting time criticizing my Church's choice in Pontiff, why don't you do something more productive like criticize my Nation's choice in President. At least that way you won't come off looking like a total ignoramus.

This is pretty much directed towards you non-Catholic Little Brains. You know who you are. I have been trying to understand, but still have yet to fathom just exactly how Pope Benedict's election will effect you. It's not even going to effect me. Yet here you are, complaining that he's an arch-conservative, German who doesn't like homosexuality. A good equivalent would be a Californian through-and-through like myself complaining about the election of the new governor of Tennessee because of his stance on tobacco farming. Holy dog shit, I'm so far removed from that. Quite frankly the only connection I can think that I might have to that is either a) longtime jimmy-favorite stripper Rose, who was from Memphis, or b) Farah, the new Syrian Muslim doorgirl at Broadway Showgirls who recently moved here from Memphis. Neither of them smoke. Or vote in Tennessee to my knowledge.

Simply put: If I don't care who my new pope is, why the hell should you non-Catholics? I'd be worried if he called me to retake the Holy Land, sure, but that's a long shot. I'd probably have a better chance of hitting (and consequently pressing) the 6 or the 8 like 30 times before I'm called away to a Holy War. And if it did, I'd probably be more concerned with a) forming Jihad Jimmy's Infidel Brigade's Covert-Ops Construction Cell, or more importantly b) making out West Side Story style with Farah, the new Syrian Muslim doorgirl at Broadway Showgirls who recently moved here from Memphis. Did I mention that she looks like my HS friend's mom?

If you're Catholic and don't like our new Pope, I have an entirely different set of issues with you. You aren't a dumbtard-- begin by taking solace in that-- but dude, get a fucking clue! The concerns of a few liberal American Catholics? Doesn't mean shit, especially to somebody who has an entire fucking religion to run. This is your problem right here: for some stupid reason or another, you think that everything has to be a democracy. (Even America, fucktard, which is a Republic.) This is Catholicism, this isn't a democracy. You know that whole "separation of Church and State" that you get all snippy about (which, btw, is nowhere to be found in the Constitution and is best left to another post)? Again, get a fucking clue! If you're smart enough to try to use the phrase "separation of church and state" you should be smart enough to realize that there is no Nation of Catholicism. Get Bent.

If you don't like it/him, fucking leave already. Nobody's gonna stop you. This isn't like South Carolina seceding from the Nation. We really don't give a fuck if you stay or if you go. Shit, you're one less idiot I have to deal with at Mass.

Dominus Vobiscum, shithead

Jihad Jimmy, Chief Defender of the Faith