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Wednesday, April 20, 2005

Live 3am Criticism of TAR7, episode 8

Come join me. Provided you're on the Left Coast.

3am Criticism in progress!!! of The Amazing Race 7, episode 8
You are now in chat room “tar7ep8.”
TioJaime858 has entered the chat room.
TioJaime858 (9:00:11 PM): PREVIOUSLY ON TAR
TioJaime858 (9:00:16 PM): 5 TEAMS SET out from botswana
TioJaime858 (9:00:19 PM): raced to india
TioJaime858 (9:00:44 PM): did i mention, yay for gay?
TioJaime858 (9:00:50 PM): place bets now
TioJaime858 (9:00:55 PM): who will piss me off first after the theme song?
TioJaime858 (9:01:07 PM): a) rob-tard
TioJaime858 (9:01:10 PM): or b) the gays
TioJaime858 (9:01:19 PM): or c) ron-kelly
TioJaime858 (9:01:41 PM): A! MAZE! ING! AMAZXING
TioJaime858 (9:01:43 PM): A! MAZE! ING! AMAZING!
TioJaime858 (9:01:47 PM): A! MAZE! ING!
TioJaime858 (9:01:47 PM): AMAZING
TioJaime858 (9:01:55 PM): A! MAZE! ING!
TioJaime858 (9:01:55 PM): AMAZING
TioJaime858 (9:01:59 PM): A! MAZING RACE!
TioJaime858 (9:02:03 PM): A! MAZING RACE!
TioJaime858 (9:02:08 PM): A! MAZING RACE!
TioJaime858 (9:02:12 PM): A! MAZE! ING!
TioJaime858 (9:02:16 PM): AMAZING!
TioJaime858 (9:02:23 PM): A! MAZE! ING! AMZING!
ManWithHugeCock has entered the chat room.
ManWithHugeCock (9:03:06 PM): wha?
Poke00210 (9:03:06 PM): hello dere
ManWithHugeCock (9:03:11 PM): you's in here twice
Poke00210 (9:03:17 PM): yeah
Poke00210 (9:03:20 PM): SHIT I DID IT AGAIN
TioJaime858 (9:03:27 PM): sorry i meant to use this name
ManWithHugeCock (9:04:28 PM): what are you doing this for?
ManWithHugeCock (9:04:38 PM): chatting with yourself
TioJaime858 (9:04:47 PM): yeah
ManWithHugeCock (9:04:49 PM): kinda scary
TioJaime858 (9:04:52 PM): doing the 3am criticism of The Amazing Race
TioJaime858 (9:04:59 PM): they're in lucknow, India
ManWithHugeCock (9:05:07 PM): who
ManWithHugeCock (9:05:08 PM): a
ManWithHugeCock (9:05:13 PM): whoa
TioJaime858 (9:05:14 PM): go to platform 2 in the lucknow train statino
ManWithHugeCock (9:05:19 PM): i been there
ManWithHugeCock (9:05:21 PM): lucknow
TioJaime858 (9:05:24 PM): just a bunch of americans running around raicing
TioJaime858 (9:05:42 PM): you should check this show out
TioJaime858 (9:05:55 PM): it's the only quality reality show out there
TioJaime858 (9:06:11 PM): fags getting their next clue
ManWithHugeCock (9:06:32 PM): it's no american idol
TioJaime858 (9:06:34 PM): wow that was a long task
TioJaime858 (9:06:44 PM): umm, i'm gonna have to edit that out of the SHoP
TioJaime858 (9:06:54 PM): lest we start getting hits from American Idolators
TioJaime858 (9:07:13 PM): shit, he mumbled something about the gays
TioJaime858 (9:08:00 PM): heh, phil tricked the old team
ManWithHugeCock (9:08:13 PM): I've never seen it
TioJaime858 (9:08:17 PM): LOL cunt, you're bottlenecking again
TioJaime858 (9:08:21 PM): you ever watch survivor?
ManWithHugeCock (9:08:29 PM): no
TioJaime858 (9:08:36 PM): OK
TioJaime858 (9:08:41 PM): the mole?
ManWithHugeCock (9:08:46 PM): The dude who cuts my hair talks about amazing race
ManWithHugeCock (9:08:47 PM): no
ManWithHugeCock (9:08:49 PM): sorry
TioJaime858 (9:09:01 PM): what do you watch besides the shitty FOX reality shows?
TioJaime858 (9:09:14 PM): and oh it's tim for the crowded indian train
ManWithHugeCock (9:09:25 PM): Reality shows, or all shows?
TioJaime858 (9:09:28 PM): that's creepy
TioJaime858 (9:09:32 PM): reality
ManWithHugeCock (9:09:53 PM): i don't know if i watch any
TioJaime858 (9:09:59 PM): search for your next clue at jagpur train station?
TioJaime858 (9:10:12 PM): they're taking a train from lucknow for 24 hours to jagpur?
TioJaime858 (9:10:17 PM): yeah shut up you fag
ManWithHugeCock (9:10:43 PM): trains can take days in india
ManWithHugeCock (9:10:53 PM): delhi to bombay is like 2 days I thinkk
TioJaime858 (9:11:09 PM): yeah in all of the seasons i've seen so far, whenever they go to india they take long-assed train rids
TioJaime858 (9:11:22 PM): and sometimes-- Jodphur--
TioJaime858 (9:11:33 PM): sometims they're packed trains
TioJaime858 (9:11:38 PM): go to the sardar market
TioJaime858 (9:11:52 PM): ha ha fags in last place
TioJaime858 (9:12:11 PM): ha ha fuck you rob-tard
TioJaime858 (9:12:26 PM): ha ha they're bottlenecking again
ManWithHugeCock (9:13:07 PM): dammit....in my fantasy baseball league...I have adam dunn and Giambi....whoever i put on the bench hits a homerun
TioJaime858 (9:13:11 PM): fuck you you bostonian fuckwad
TioJaime858 (9:13:15 PM): oh that sucks
ManWithHugeCock (9:13:23 PM): dunn had 2 yesterday
ManWithHugeCock (9:13:29 PM): giambi 1 today
TioJaime858 (9:13:31 PM): i beat the rockies 6-4 today
ManWithHugeCock (9:13:43 PM): the dodgers are looking good
ManWithHugeCock (9:13:45 PM): 11-2
TioJaime858 (9:13:51 PM): shit
TioJaime858 (9:13:52 PM): i know
ManWithHugeCock (9:14:05 PM): A's are only 7-7
TioJaime858 (9:14:25 PM): la la la, the bostonian fucklord has an indian helper dude named sanjay
TioJaime858 (9:14:32 PM): wow he's so fucking conniving i could shit my pants
TioJaime858 (9:14:39 PM): ooh fast forward
ManWithHugeCock (9:14:45 PM): ok man
TioJaime858 (9:14:48 PM): This is the second of only two Fast Forwards hidden on the entire race
ManWithHugeCock (9:14:54 PM): i gotta up early and go to school
ManWithHugeCock (9:14:57 PM): fucking finals
TioJaime858 (9:14:58 PM): yeah, it helps if you're actually in the same time zone watching the show
ManWithHugeCock (9:15:11 PM): ttyl
TioJaime858 (9:15:11 PM): they have to shave their heads hindu-style
TioJaime858 (9:15:17 PM): OK baby, will talk to you in a bit
ManWithHugeCock has left the chat room.
TioJaime858 (9:15:36 PM): and really, what kind of a stupid fast forward is this?
TioJaime858 (9:15:40 PM): oh sorry detour
TioJaime858 (9:15:45 PM): two tasks
TioJaime858 (9:15:49 PM): each w/its own prs and cons
TioJaime858 (9:15:50 PM): la la
TioJaime858 (9:15:53 PM): trunk or dunk
TioJaime858 (9:16:25 PM): yay do the elephant
TioJaime858 (9:16:45 PM): oh yay the fags and the shooting blancks are doing the fast forward
TioJaime858 (9:16:55 PM): and the rob-tard isn't doing the fast forward
TioJaime858 (9:17:16 PM): yay for fags getting a taxi
TioJaime858 (9:17:46 PM): oh sweet! maybe this is where the fags get booted
TioJaime858 (9:18:03 PM): and i swear to fuck if this is another non-elimination round i'm gonna be sorely pissed
TioJaime858 (9:18:36 PM): oh yay i got to touch some old white woman's butt
TioJaime858 (9:18:53 PM): oh you worldy fags
TioJaime858 (9:19:45 PM): Ok and now TAR is finally condoning the exploitation of locals
TioJaime858 (9:19:51 PM): ha ha fuck you rob-tard
TioJaime858 (9:20:00 PM): yay fabulous!
TioJaime858 (9:20:09 PM): "I wanna ride on top alex!"
TioJaime858 (9:20:40 PM): how did the fags do it so quickly
TioJaime858 (9:20:45 PM): push the elephant, i mean
TioJaime858 (9:20:55 PM): oh please, a gnome commercial?
TioJaime858 (9:20:56 PM): yay!
TioJaime858 (9:21:06 PM): wow i wanna take a hammer to my new TV
TioJaime858 (9:21:13 PM): fuck you gnome
TioJaime858 (9:24:01 PM): Locusts!
TioJaime858 (9:24:05 PM): umm, Nocusts!
TioJaime858 (9:24:35 PM): dude, just get the fuck out of the elephant you dumbass
TioJaime858 (9:24:48 PM): yeah great
TioJaime858 (9:24:52 PM): and shut up you bostard
TioJaime858 (9:26:04 PM): and what's the big deal w/this headshaving shit?
TioJaime858 (9:26:10 PM): oh ha ha no more models
TioJaime858 (9:26:16 PM): just some janky beauty queen
TioJaime858 (9:26:26 PM): teams must now ttravel to a deora krishi farm
TioJaime858 (9:26:32 PM): by way of rickshaw
TioJaime858 (9:26:55 PM): you anoying pigfucker
TioJaime858 (9:27:18 PM): wrong temple
TioJaime858 (9:27:21 PM): d'oh
TioJaime858 (9:27:35 PM): yay, if only these little indian dudes knew they were catching the gay
TioJaime858 (9:29:10 PM): well christ, it's about time
TioJaime858 (9:29:14 PM): yeah no shit
TioJaime858 (9:29:19 PM): and double no shit
TioJaime858 (9:29:22 PM): you could've helped push
TioJaime858 (9:29:31 PM): perhps you should've realized this 10 minutes ago
TioJaime858 (9:29:38 PM): Roadblock
TioJaime858 (9:29:44 PM): a roadblock is a task that only one person may perform
TioJaime858 (9:29:47 PM): race camel carts
TioJaime858 (9:29:56 PM): clue from the camel master
TioJaime858 (9:30:12 PM): GODDAMIT
TioJaime858 (9:30:15 PM): c'mon BABY
TioJaime858 (9:30:21 PM): said the retarded POW
TioJaime858 (9:30:44 PM): yeah take that fags
TioJaime858 (9:31:10 PM): el camel es muy pissed
TioJaime858 (9:31:35 PM): what's making you sick? the camel or your spread-eagled GF?
TioJaime858 (9:31:59 PM): yeah make the dude ride the camel
TioJaime858 (9:32:03 PM): the dude named meredith, btw
TioJaime858 (9:32:18 PM): oh wow joyce boobs
TioJaime858 (9:32:30 PM): BFD they're gonna shave your heads
TioJaime858 (9:32:44 PM): and now she's pissed
TioJaime858 (9:35:11 PM): oh hi boots
TioJaime858 (9:36:02 PM): did she just say the eff word
TioJaime858 (9:36:05 PM): and she's pissed
TioJaime858 (9:36:11 PM): LOL his head's already shaved
TioJaime858 (9:36:45 PM): wow
TioJaime858 (9:37:06 PM): poor joyce
TioJaime858 (9:37:26 PM): wow she's been so cheery up until this point
TioJaime858 (9:37:51 PM): and really, what's with the fascination of shaving your head in a foreign country?
TioJaime858 (9:38:05 PM): shit, i'll shave my back in a fast forward if i need to
TioJaime858 (9:38:13 PM): shave my ass and walk backwards for a week
TioJaime858 (9:38:23 PM): fuck you camel! i'm gonna shave your head!
TioJaime858 (9:39:17 PM): oh she doesn't look so bad
TioJaime858 (9:39:25 PM): actually that's somewhat of an improvement
TioJaime858 (9:39:37 PM): her hair was kinda wack-tastic before
TioJaime858 (9:40:15 PM): jaswant thada next pitstop
TioJaime858 (9:40:29 PM): last team to check in may be philiminiated
TioJaime858 (9:40:44 PM): heh now in her interviews she has no hair
TioJaime858 (9:40:51 PM): there BABY
TioJaime858 (9:40:54 PM): fuck you ron
TioJaime858 (9:41:01 PM): oh i forgot to end betting huh
TioJaime858 (9:41:29 PM): "honey that hurt my bottom so bad"
TioJaime858 (9:41:36 PM): that was kelly, not the gays, btw
TioJaime858 (9:41:45 PM): and that's not much of a fast forward
TioJaime858 (9:41:56 PM): yeah fuck you amber
TioJaime858 (9:42:20 PM): heh, and gretchen is laughing at you
TioJaime858 (9:42:25 PM): oh please eliminate the fags
TioJaime858 (9:43:05 PM): heh, those who live by the camel shall perish by the camel
TioJaime858 (9:43:15 PM): those who live by the obstinate camel shall perish by the obstinate camel
TioJaime858 (9:43:39 PM): you should shave meredith's head
TioJaime858 (9:43:54 PM): no please philiminate the fags
TioJaime858 (9:44:13 PM): yeah uChenna/jOyce will be first
TioJaime858 (9:44:29 PM): old team in last place
TioJaime858 (9:44:49 PM): i hope the old team can be fourth
TioJaime858 (9:45:04 PM): that'll put them right w/danny & oswald
TioJaime858 (9:45:10 PM): oh no are you fags lost?
TioJaime858 (9:45:36 PM): eff you, you gay gnome
TioJaime858 (9:45:39 PM): gay-nome
TioJaime858 (9:47:16 PM): great another shitty commercial with a shitty toddler making a mess
TioJaime858 (9:47:23 PM): is this supposed to be cute?
TioJaime858 (9:47:35 PM): that's not cute
TioJaime858 (9:47:55 PM): tell you what if you think it's so fucking cute, why don't you come over when i have a child and she's made a mess
TioJaime858 (9:47:58 PM): and fuck you baby bob
TioJaime858 (9:48:24 PM): you're the man now, dog
TioJaime858 (9:48:39 PM): oh teh locusts are resistant to all pesticides
TioJaime858 (9:48:47 PM): yeah try a shotgun on teh fucking locusts
TioJaime858 (9:48:51 PM): FUCK TRY NAPALM
TioJaime858 (9:48:57 PM): gays are still lost
TioJaime858 (9:49:01 PM): and their taxi's gone?
TioJaime858 (9:49:03 PM): oh no not yet
TioJaime858 (9:49:13 PM): oh please please please get philiminated
TioJaime858 (9:49:28 PM): queer
TioJaime858 (9:49:42 PM): and you also have a dumbass who rode your elephant
TioJaime858 (9:49:44 PM): heh
TioJaime858 (9:49:49 PM): gotta fill up
TioJaime858 (9:50:01 PM): oh ron'spissed
TioJaime858 (9:50:11 PM): still, eff you and eff all your families
TioJaime858 (9:50:16 PM): let's talk about the game
TioJaime858 (9:50:29 PM): nice
TioJaime858 (9:50:37 PM): Welcome to jadphur india
TioJaime858 (9:50:41 PM): uChenna/Joyce team #1
TioJaime858 (9:50:52 PM): wow what a cool chick
TioJaime858 (9:51:13 PM): oh eff you
TioJaime858 (9:51:21 PM): notice they don't tell you who the third one is
TioJaime858 (9:51:39 PM): ha ha
TioJaime858 (9:51:46 PM): fuck younice use of color
TioJaime858 (9:52:08 PM): ron/kelly team #2 rob-tard team #3
TioJaime858 (9:52:28 PM): oh please get rid of the fags
TioJaime858 (9:52:50 PM): and now i'm thinking about that old dude w/the ugly chick
TioJaime858 (9:52:56 PM): that old dude who didn't want to lose to the old team
TioJaime858 (9:53:03 PM): who's laughing now, huh?
TioJaime858 (9:53:07 PM): OH YES
TioJaime858 (9:53:11 PM): OLD TEAM!
TioJaime858 (9:53:19 PM): MEREDITH GRETCHEN TEAM #4!!!
TioJaime858 (9:53:23 PM): NICE FUCKING JOB
TioJaime858 (9:53:31 PM): HOLY SHIT
TioJaime858 (9:53:33 PM): holy shit
TioJaime858 (9:53:41 PM): ooh very special?
TioJaime858 (9:53:43 PM): yep
TioJaime858 (9:53:53 PM): officially the oldest team to make it this far
TioJaime858 (9:54:11 PM): fags, last team to arrive
TioJaime858 (9:54:13 PM): ...
TioJaime858 (9:54:23 PM): I'M SORRY TO TELL YOU YOU'VE BOTH BEEN PHILIMINATED FROM THE RACE
TioJaime858 (9:54:28 PM): OH MOST GLORIOUS GLORIOUS GLORIOUS DAY
TioJaime858 (9:54:35 PM): OH YES
TioJaime858 (9:54:53 PM): MAN THAT WAS THE BEST SPLIT SECOND OF TV I'VE SEEN ALL YEAR
TioJaime858 (9:55:03 PM): YEAH FUCK YOU GAYS
TioJaime858 (9:55:06 PM): FUCK YOU GAYS!!!
TioJaime858 (9:55:13 PM): stay chuned for scenes from our next episode
TioJaime858 (9:55:41 PM): that was shitty
TioJaime858 (9:55:44 PM): and a talking dog commercial
TioJaime858 (9:55:48 PM): with a shitty parody
TioJaime858 (9:55:52 PM): could be worse
TioJaime858 (9:55:56 PM): could be baby bob
TioJaime858 (9:55:59 PM): "tent pitching"
TioJaime858 (9:56:03 PM): and puppies are cute
TioJaime858 (9:56:21 PM): nice shitty photoshopping there, KFC
TioJaime858 (9:56:35 PM): see? if i tivo'd this shit, we'd be losing so much
TioJaime858 (9:57:00 PM): why do i want to be molested by melina kanakaredes
TioJaime858 (9:57:12 PM): On the next episode of TAR
TioJaime858 (9:57:25 PM): heh blind leading the blind
TioJaime858 (9:57:35 PM): oh you dumb cunt
TioJaime858 (10:25:57 PM): sorry, phone rang
TioJaime858 (10:26:18 PM): kelly said something stupid and cunty like "you got out of the military by being a POW"
TioJaime858 (10:26:26 PM): anyway, see you next week...
TioJaime858 has left the chat room.