not sure why i didn't put this on the SHoP...

light political commentary here, but mainly movie reviews of Charlie & the Fudgepackers and Wedding Crashers

enjoy,
Tio Jaime

Great Vengeance and Furious Anger, VIII & IX

PREVIOUSLY ON THE SHOP...

Great Vengeance and Furious Anger, Prologue
Great Vengeance and Furious Anger, I and II
Great Vengeance and Furious Anger, III
Great Vengeance and Furious Anger, IV
Great Vengeance and Furious Anger, V
Great Vengeance and Furious Anger, VI
Great Vengeance and Furious Anger, VII

THE FOLLOWING TAKES PLACE BETWEEN 6:00 PM AND 7:00 PM.

EVENTS OCCUR IN REAL TIME.

Driving through the grocery store's parking lot to go home, saw these two stickers on some SUV. Yeah, way to go there, dumbass environmentalist. Why must you all be so fucking ignorant?

And don't answer, peacenik. It was a rhetorical question, and nobody wants to hear further proof of your retard blathering. Just-- just keep reading and please save your questions until the end of the tour. Go to hell, hippie...

Anycrap... stopped my truck right behind and perpendicular to this tard's SUV (left the engine running), walked to the right rear tire, pulled a RED pen and pretended it was a tire gauge, knelt by my tire, and twisted around to pull Number Eight off of this pigfucker's bumper.

Exploted a tiny ridge on the upper-left edge, ya see it? At 2 o'clock relative to the second "d" in Edwards, at a range of about a half-inch. Also: kinda hard to see, but the "ard" is its own fragment. Combined with the au naturel pubic-hair shaped fragment and the big, honkin' "Kerry Edw" piece, Number Eight is actually a visual symphony in three movements:

Symphony No. 8 in Eff, Opus 69 "El Liberador"
I. Allegro scratcho e ganko II. Andante molto Pubus III. Presto Agitato con mucho Tio

Number Nine was a pretty cool and very rare lower-left corner tear! Started from that corner and went up. Although given that I was crouched near my tire and this one was above my head on his rear window, you can see the logistics of it all.

Damn, I'm good.

And the best thing about it? You Red Americans abso-fucking-lutely LOVE it that i'm sticking it to these Blue State Fuck-Ups. You might be a bit reluctant to admit it, but you do. And you're welcome.

Great Vengeance, Furious Anger...

Eightfold	Ninefold

I know what you're thinking, SHoPpers... fret not, for I will be liberating stickers far after Shiraz's sticker has been avenged.

Jihad Jimmy, Minister of War Crimes and Chief Defender of the Faith

[hotchicks theme="24"]
click thumbnails to enlarge in new window



[/hotchicks]

Great Vengeance and Furious Anger, VII

PREVIOUSLY ON THE SHOP...

Great Vengeance and Furious Anger, Prologue
Great Vengeance and Furious Anger, I and II
Great Vengeance and Furious Anger, III
Great Vengeance and Furious Anger, IV
Great Vengeance and Furious Anger, V
Great Vengeance and Furious Anger, VI

THE FOLLOWING TAKES PLACE BETWEEN 5:00 PM AND 6:00 PM.

EVENTS OCCUR IN REAL TIME.

This sticker was perfectly flush upon some Honda Accord's trunk door-- no ridges, no bumps, perfectly flat. No problemo.

A little bit of the scratchy-scratchy and the upper left corner started to fray. A little bit of the tuggy-tuggy and a good 80% of the sticker started to come off. And having been sitting in the late afternoon Bay Area sun for God knows how long, this came off easier than most Band-Aids.

Ripped that little fucker off while somebody sat on the sidewalk not five yards away.

Great Vengeance, Furious Anger...

Sevenfold

Unfortunately these stickers are becoming more and more scarce as I continue the hunt.

Jihad Jimmy, Minister of War Crimes and Chief Defender of the Faith

[hotchick form="elf"]

click to enlarge in new window
[/hotchick]

OK now this is my kinda quiz!

And the three-space graph of the various types of humor? Man, isn't it great to have taken multi-variable calculus? I mean sure, everybody can appreciate that graph, but Math 53 will give you just a bit more enjoyment for your money.

the Shock Jock (52% dark, 60% spontaneous, 50% vulgar)

your humor style: VULGAR | SPONTANEOUS | DARK Your sense of humor is off-the-cuff and kind of gross. Is it is also sinister, cynical, and vaguely threatening to the purer folks of this world, and you probably get off on that. You would cut a greasy fart, then blame it on your mom, and then just shrug when someone pointed out that she's dead. Yours is hands-down the most outrageous sense of humor; you like things trangressive and hardcore. It's highly likely (a) you have no limits (b) you have no scruples and (c) you have no job. Ironically, it's your type of humor that can make the biggest bucks in show business. PEOPLE LIKE YOU: Don & Mike - Adam Sandler - Roseanne Barr

My test tracked 3 variables How you compared to other people your age and gender: You scored higher than 41% on dark You scored higher than 99% on spontaneous You scored higher than 88% on vulgar

Link: The 3 Variable Funny Test written by jason_bateman on Ok Cupid

It originally said that I was like Howard Stern, but really he's just an unfunny, less original version of D&M. He's kind of a cross between D&M and Tom Leykis, probably.

The nice thing about D&M is that they keep their stuff fresh and you don't hear the same things over and over. If you listen to Tom Leykis, he's either repeating himself for 15 minutes straight to talk up a subject in the hopes of scaring up new idiots who call his show and say the same things, or he's taking calls which say the exact same thing they said 3 years ago and will probably be saying 3 years from now. Needless to say, the shelf-life for any one listener of Tom Leykis is about three years. If you're lucky, the talk station in Seattle is playing the D&M Show right before the Leykis show, so you have something else to try out.

Unlike many other unqualified opinions out there, I'm actually able to qualify mine.

Jihad Jimmy, Minister of War Crimes and Chief Defender of the Faith

ps- quiz and subsequent post courtesy of caltechgirl

Welcome to the SixHertz House of Scoop!

sent to the SHoP anonymous tip-line this morning...

Date: Thu, 28 Jul 2005 08:02:55 -0700 (PDT) From: "Minister of War Crimes" <jihad_j@dowc.tjnation.gov> Subject: Gem of a Story! To: <sixhertz@alum.ihtfp.edu> CC: "Chief Defender of the Faith" <jihad_j@minilove.tjnation.gov> This is right up your alley... involves stupid celebrities 1) criticizing the president and 2) getting caught up in their stupid feuds which to them are the most important thing in the world but in reality nobody gives a flying fuck. http://news.yahoo.com/news?tmpl=story&cid=52.../moby_eminem and here's the previous SHoP occurrence of Moby, mental-magician-at-large... http://sixhertz.blogspot.com/2005/04/same-shit-different-ignoramus.html out of deference, you have until lunch before i scoop you Jihad Jimmy, Minister of War Crimes and Chief Defender of the Faith

[update date="20050729" time="0805"]
Did this attention whore's mommy and daddy not show him enough attention when he was a child? Why must he force his way onto my yahoo! news modules?

Moby Says He Won't Sing This Much Again

Well really, this is just wonderful. Now he has more time to say stoopid things which will make it onto the SHoP! Joy of joys!
[/update]

Series Premiere of FX's Over There HOW'S YOUR CHEST, TERRORIST?

Gonna Live 3am Criticize this new show. If you're in the Pacific Time Zone and don't have the California Bar Exam tomorrow morning, you're cordially invited to join me. Come find Poke00210 or TioJaime858 on AIM.

---

THIS IS ONE RAD-ASSED SHOW!!! Watch a replay when you can and GET IN ON THE GROUND FLOOR!!!

Not that any of you will listen to me, because hey check your URL, we're in the SHoP!

Jihad Jimmy, Minister of War Crimes and Chief Defender of the Faith

Live 3am Criticism of Over There, Series Premiere!

You are now in chat room “AIMSucksWillyWonka.” TioJaime858 has entered the chat room. TioJaime858 (9:35:35 PM): HELLO DERE! TioJaime858 (9:35:54 PM): been a while since i 3amC'd something for the SHoP TioJaime858 (9:36:16 PM): really, i should go find some 3am Criticisms for those just joining us TioJaime858 (9:36:19 PM): dammit, OK hold on TioJaime858 (9:36:34 PM): (watching Law and Order right now in the background TioJaime858 (9:38:24 PM): http://tjalephone.blogspot.com/2005/07/jack-bauer-time-motherfuckers.html TioJaime858 (9:38:41 PM): (that's some 24, Season Two) TioJaime858 (9:39:28 PM): FMJ: http://tjalephone.blogspot.com/2004/03/public-1112-am.html TioJaime858 (9:40:36 PM): here's Smarty Jones losing the Triple Crown in June 2004... http://tjalephone.blogspot.com/2004/06/public-408-pm.html TioJaime858 (9:41:47 PM): eff you message is too long TioJaime858 (9:42:15 PM): here's Giacomo in this year's Kentucky Derby TioJaime858 (9:42:24 PM): http://sixhertz.blogspot.com/2005/05/live-3am-criticism-of-kentucky-derby.html TioJaime858 (9:44:01 PM): did i miss the preakness? TioJaime858 (9:44:04 PM): hmm TioJaime858 (9:46:00 PM): Season Premiere of The Amazing Race 7! TioJaime858 (9:46:07 PM): http://sixhertz.blogspot.com/2005/03/3am-criticism-of-amazing-race-7-season.html TioJaime858 (9:46:46 PM): and finally, here's a 3am Criticism of Grey's Anatomy TioJaime858 (9:46:54 PM): http://sixhertz.blogspot.com/2005/04/3am-criticism-of-ellen-pompeo-show.html TioJaime858 (9:48:35 PM): and nice job, Law and Order, taking a swipe at Christianity TioJaime858 (9:49:07 PM): they have a Born Again Christian as a confessed murderer TioJaime858 (9:49:36 PM): and they're making it look like he's hiding behind Christianity to avoid jail TioJaime858 (9:49:37 PM): la la la TioJaime858 (9:50:47 PM): yay for the race card TioJaime858 (9:50:58 PM): aww, white chick afraid to say "nigger" TioJaime858 (9:51:00 PM): la la la TioJaime858 (9:51:35 PM): oh shit, i forgot! TioJaime858 (9:51:48 PM): here's some 3am Criticism of Beauty and the Geek! TioJaime858 (9:52:18 PM): http://sixhertz.blogspot.com/2005/06/got-this-gooey-thing-in-my-ear-its.html TioJaime858 (9:52:50 PM): la la la, God this, prayer that... i can hear the Hollywood nuts grumbling about the "separation" of Church and State TioJaime858 (9:53:25 PM): this is a stupid episode TioJaime858 (9:53:43 PM): like there's any doubt what's gonna happen TioJaime858 (9:54:05 PM): and don't get me started on "Hate" crimes TioJaime858 (9:55:26 PM): that's shit, so if he'd just killed his sister's BF because he was a tard or because he was poor, that's not as bad as killing somebody because he happened to be black? TioJaime858 (9:56:17 PM): see, so it was the shitty lawyers who were fucking things up TioJaime858 (9:57:26 PM): wonderful commercial TioJaime858 (9:58:00 PM): gonna pour another GTF TioJaime858 (10:00:02 PM): OK and here's FX TioJaime858 (10:00:05 PM): and here we go TioJaime858 (10:00:06 PM): TioJaime858 (10:00:10 PM): rated TV MA LSV TioJaime858 (10:00:18 PM): ooh violence and nudity! TioJaime858 (10:00:32 PM): cute chick in robe on ckitchen counter TioJaime858 (10:00:35 PM): (and some dude) TioJaime858 (10:01:13 PM): Pfc. Bo Rider TioJaime858 (10:01:41 PM): Pvt. Avery "Angel" King TioJaime858 (10:01:55 PM): blah blah blah godam this, goddam that TioJaime858 (10:02:06 PM): ooh crazy chick TioJaime858 (10:02:17 PM): Pvt. Frank "Dim" Dumphy TioJaime858 (10:02:22 PM): ooh chick using bad language TioJaime858 (10:02:33 PM): ooh yeah moma TioJaime858 (10:02:42 PM): Pvt. Brenda "Mrs B" something or other TioJaime858 (10:02:45 PM): fuck i missed it TioJaime858 (10:03:08 PM): Pvt. Maurice "Smoke" Williams TioJaime858 (10:03:35 PM): Pfc. Esmerelda "Double Wide" del Rio" TioJaime858 (10:04:06 PM): OVER*THERE TioJaime858 (10:04:33 PM): yeah faggot officer and shit TioJaime858 (10:05:36 PM): incoming TioJaime858 (10:06:00 PM): this new sergeant is pissed TioJaime858 (10:06:08 PM): la la waiting orders TioJaime858 (10:06:21 PM): al jazeera! TioJaime858 (10:06:51 PM): that's why in real war you just shoot shit up. and sh it. TioJaime858 (10:07:19 PM): Teleplay by Chris somebody-or-other TioJaime858 (10:08:36 PM): yeah fool TioJaime858 (10:08:53 PM): ooh they're moving all night-stealthy and shit TioJaime858 (10:08:59 PM): cool shit so far TioJaime858 (10:09:36 PM): umm, yeah when bright lights go off like that, don't you have to take your night vision goggles off and shit? TioJaime858 (10:10:13 PM): they're digging cover? TioJaime858 (10:10:39 PM): the chick can't dig her own foxhole? TioJaime858 (10:10:56 PM): get down you dumbfucks! TioJaime858 (10:11:05 PM): cease fire! TioJaime858 (10:11:19 PM): heh TioJaime858 (10:11:25 PM): VIEWER DISCRETION ADVISED TioJaime858 (10:11:39 PM): cute chick on the dennis leary show? TioJaime858 (10:11:41 PM): nice boobs TioJaime858 (10:11:48 PM): and they're playing C'mon C'mon TioJaime858 (10:12:33 PM): commercial TioJaime858 (10:12:46 PM): Dukes of Hazzard TioJaime858 (10:12:54 PM): wonderfully modernized w/johnny knoxville TioJaime858 (10:13:00 PM): oh most glorious glorious day TioJaime858 (10:13:33 PM): heh cap'n morgan TioJaime858 (10:13:52 PM): heh TioJaime858 (10:14:48 PM): jax0r in the b0x0r commercial, funny shit TioJaime858 (10:14:54 PM): get back to the chicks w/guns TioJaime858 (10:15:50 PM): LOL TioJaime858 (10:16:04 PM): "if you were a dog i'd kick you in the face" TioJaime858 (10:16:11 PM): that should be pretty cool TioJaime858 (10:16:32 PM): yeah fucker TioJaime858 (10:18:24 PM): Sgt. "Scream" TioJaime858 (10:19:26 PM): and not even 20 mins into the new show, here's the race card! TioJaime858 (10:19:29 PM): yay! TioJaime858 (10:19:34 PM): turnt around! TioJaime858 (10:19:44 PM): and the n-word! TioJaime858 (10:19:52 PM): i missed something TioJaime858 (10:20:00 PM): it was probably a black-thing TioJaime858 (10:20:05 PM): i wouldn't understand TioJaime858 (10:20:18 PM): (inaudible whispering) TioJaime858 (10:20:43 PM): Dim went to Cornell TioJaime858 (10:20:55 PM): go ags TioJaime858 (10:22:29 PM): "you sure you gotta go that bad?" TioJaime858 (10:23:20 PM): yay for explaining nicknames! TioJaime858 (10:23:28 PM): "Dim" went to cornell TioJaime858 (10:23:37 PM): "Angel" sang in a choir TioJaime858 (10:23:48 PM): oh and i guess Mrs B doesn't like to be called Mrs B TioJaime858 (10:24:35 PM): heh, there's a mcdonald's there? TioJaime858 (10:24:58 PM): heh TioJaime858 (10:25:05 PM): not gonna ask why they call her Double Wide TioJaime858 (10:25:25 PM): is mrs b taking a shit? TioJaime858 (10:25:43 PM): ooh yeah peeing momma TioJaime858 (10:25:44 PM): uh oh TioJaime858 (10:26:07 PM): some cute blonde peeing TioJaime858 (10:26:14 PM): wasn't mrs b? TioJaime858 (10:26:36 PM): commercial TioJaime858 (10:27:33 PM): heh TioJaime858 (10:27:36 PM): chick with dick TioJaime858 (10:27:41 PM): Always Sunny in Philadelphia TioJaime858 (10:28:24 PM): "i smell cake" said the chick TioJaime858 (10:28:52 PM): is this some stupid triumph rip-off? TioJaime858 (10:30:42 PM): fucking brat making a mess w/the cheerios in the Mercury TioJaime858 (10:30:46 PM): that's not cute TioJaime858 (10:31:46 PM): ooh is that zooey deschanel? TioJaime858 (10:31:48 PM): or is that her sister? TioJaime858 (10:32:03 PM): and we're back TioJaime858 (10:32:10 PM): they're still in a standoff outside the mosque TioJaime858 (10:32:35 PM): heh eat that terrorist TioJaime858 (10:32:45 PM): whoops TioJaime858 (10:33:10 PM): yeah fuck you terrorist TioJaime858 (10:33:31 PM): uh oh TioJaime858 (10:33:37 PM): no Mrs B TioJaime858 (10:33:58 PM): aww yeah lay down more fire TioJaime858 (10:34:11 PM): Sandstorm! TioJaime858 (10:34:23 PM): LOL TioJaime858 (10:34:31 PM): HOW'S YOUR CHEST, TERRORIST? TioJaime858 (10:34:42 PM): i actually did laugh out loud TioJaime858 (10:35:26 PM): yeha walk across an open field TioJaime858 (10:35:36 PM): FUCK YOU TERRORIST TioJaime858 (10:35:38 PM): FUCK YOU TERRORIST TioJaime858 (10:36:07 PM): yeah outflank this, motherfuckers TioJaime858 (10:36:30 PM): ooh yeah mrs b is a white chick? TioJaime858 (10:36:45 PM): YEAH FUCK YOU TERRORIST TioJaime858 (10:36:49 PM): and one to grow one TioJaime858 (10:37:15 PM): FUCK YOU TERRORIST TioJaime858 (10:37:22 PM): oh shit TioJaime858 (10:37:23 PM): incoming TioJaime858 (10:37:26 PM): FUCK YOU TERRORIST TioJaime858 (10:37:40 PM): OH THOSE ARE OUTGOING TioJaime858 (10:37:57 PM): get some TioJaime858 (10:38:02 PM): GET SOME TioJaime858 (10:38:22 PM): TioJaime858 (10:38:31 PM): commercial TioJaime858 (10:41:49 PM): and we're back TioJaime858 (10:42:05 PM): yeah eff you terrorist TioJaime858 (10:42:22 PM): don't fuck w/america TioJaime858 (10:42:47 PM): and eff you too terrorist-buddy TioJaime858 (10:43:16 PM): heh TioJaime858 (10:43:25 PM): half-a-terrorist TioJaime858 (10:43:31 PM): so really, half the FUCK YOU TERRORIST TioJaime858 (10:44:14 PM): fuck you, terrorists TioJaime858 (10:44:28 PM): la la abu grahib TioJaime858 (10:44:33 PM): allah akbhar TioJaime858 (10:44:57 PM): yeah eff you terrorist-sympathizer TioJaime858 (10:45:01 PM): shoot em TioJaime858 (10:45:52 PM): yay for video e-mail! TioJaime858 (10:46:27 PM): LOL TioJaime858 (10:46:31 PM): shit-ville! TioJaime858 (10:47:47 PM): blah blah blah we're savages TioJaime858 (10:48:03 PM): Grace! TioJaime858 (10:48:06 PM): i miss grace TioJaime858 (10:48:39 PM): what's superimpose? TioJaime858 (10:48:53 PM): oh uncool TioJaime858 (10:49:01 PM): janky chick humping somebody else TioJaime858 (10:49:35 PM): and he's singing TioJaime858 (10:50:46 PM): "shit" TioJaime858 (10:50:47 PM): "thanks" TioJaime858 (10:52:33 PM): kind of a shitty soundtrack TioJaime858 (10:53:16 PM): everybody's got a nickname by me TioJaime858 (10:53:17 PM): but me TioJaime858 (10:54:11 PM): oh they're pulling over TioJaime858 (10:54:21 PM): uh oh TioJaime858 (10:54:29 PM): oops TioJaime858 (10:54:32 PM): ungood TioJaime858 (10:55:16 PM): hit a mine TioJaime858 (10:55:23 PM): oh bogus TioJaime858 (10:55:27 PM): dude lost a leg TioJaime858 (10:56:22 PM): would be a better show if katheryn heigl was in her underwears TioJaime858 (10:56:57 PM): oh, rolling credits? TioJaime858 (10:58:02 PM): la la over there TioJaime858 (10:58:04 PM): doo dee doo TioJaime858 (10:58:09 PM): OVER*THERE TioJaime858 (10:59:08 PM): stay chuned for scenes from our next episode! TioJaime858 (10:59:39 PM): oh that should be fucking sweet TioJaime858 (11:00:01 PM): see you next week! TioJaime858 (11:00:20 PM): ooh hot nurse? i've wondered about The Transporter TioJaime858 (11:00:25 PM): oh that's the transporter 2? wonderful TioJaime858 (11:00:35 PM): OK time for bed TioJaime858 (11:00:41 PM): heh cap'n morgan commercial TioJaime858 has left the chat room.

Yahoo! news headlines in two minutes!

This will be one of the quickest tio jaime posts ever. I'm doing the bad thing where you just read the headlines in my selected My Yahoo news modules. This got me into trouble once.

Might take a bit longer than two minutes, what with needing to do the wacky html tags.

NASA grounds shuttle fleet
Hmm. That ain't good. Especially since one of them is up in orbit, and all...

U.S. seeks new UN condemnation of violence in Iraq
Why? What's the point? It's just like berkeley city council passing teletubbies legislation. It's a joke and nobody gives a fuck.

S.J. goes to Long Beach for tips on crowd control
This is what happens when you're the Littlest Big City in the World.

Sound Transit to vote on dropping First Hill
Just give it up already! It ain't gonna happen! How's that mile-and-a-half of light rail track in Tacoma working out for you?

Probably would help if you read the articles. I'll do the same thing once i get home.

Jihad Jimmy, Minister of War Crimes and Chief Defender of the Faith

Funny Google Spoof

Courtesy of Rightwingsparkle. Although now that I think about it, I'm not sure that RWS and the Snark and caltechgirl necessarily appreciate my R-rated applications of their blog-things.

And I'm sure that trackbacks don't make things easier. Their audiences seem to find their way to the SHoP at inopportune times. Like when I use bad words in post titles. Cock. Balls.

To all new visitors to the SHoP, welcome! I'm Tio Jaime, the Bad Cop. Look around, enjoy! Some recent background info here. Not much has changed since then.

Spoof01
Spoof02
Spoof03
Spoof04
Spoof05
Spoof06
Spoof07
Spoof08
Spoof09
Spoof10

Oh, and add spaces so your words don't get broken up @ the end of a line...

Jihad Jimmy, Minister of War Crimes and Chief Defender of the Faith

ps- oh i bet everybody's different monitor resolutions will screw all of this up. whatever, you get the picture
pps- add your own masterful creations in the comments, citizen SHoPper!

gabbing it up like a couple of chicks @ a sewing circle

We're actually better than a gossipy sewing circle, because we talk about hot chicks, football and we use bad words.

this shit sucks

TioJaime: you in CA? TioJaime: and did you take the Bar? MwHCock: sacramento MwHCock: 1 day down MwHCock: 2 to go 9:35 PM TioJaime: do the Dew b-- TioJaime: FUCK 3 DAYS?!? MwHCock: yeah TioJaime: do the Dew baby TioJaime: damn MwHCock: this shit sucks TioJaime: i bet TioJaime: come this friday TioJaime: you will have earned Zoo MwHCock: i wish i hadn't had classes all summer so I could have studied more MwHCock: god damn tax classes TioJaime: round up your cousins, we'll go to the zoo

Zoo is code for something SHoPpers. If you don't get it, check out the archives.

And "Excremento" is straight from Don and Mike.

i wonder what she'll wear tomorrow

TioJaime: ooh yeah excremento MwHCock: this chick who was sitting in front of me was so hot MwHCock: it was sooooo distraccting MwHCock: she was kind of a hipster chick MwHCock: As Jay would say.... MwHCock: slammin body MwHCock: and her face was so pretty MwHCock: and when she leaned forward, her pink underwear came up MwHCock: damn MwHCock: chicks like that should not be allowed in the test TioJaime: ooh yeah TioJaime: i likes pink underwears 9:40 PM MwHCock: i wonder what she'll wear tomorrow MwHCock: this random douche bag I went to law school with was there. He has decide to move to california TioJaime: assigned seating? MwHCock: yeah TioJaime: ooh yeah TioJaime: take a pic MwHCock: can't MwHCock: no phones allowed in test center TioJaime: that's pretty selfish of you, my friend MwHCock: not even digital watches TioJaime: not wanting to share pink underwear hipster w/the rest of us MwHCock: she belongs to me TioJaime: uncool MwHCock: All i remember about that douche bag from law school was he gave this girl i know the clap. TioJaime: double-plus uncool MwHCock: I used to refer to him as a space cadet MwHCock: he was always flying high on somehting TioJaime: ahh

I for one, am completely in favor of the current fashion trend of lo-rise jeans. No, I wouldn't wear them myself. And no, if I had a daughter, I wouldn't let her wear them for fear that she might make somebody's blog.

I certainly wouldn't let her go to parties where they have alcohol and/or toilets.

But aside from those reservations, yes, I like chicks in lo-rise jeans. And boyshorts. And glasses.

OK for the next segment, I had to take out real names. Anything italicized has been changed to protect the innocent.

she was wearing shorts, wasn't she?

TioJaime: just be sure, for the purposes of this chat, to refrain from proper names MwHCock: ok MwHCock: i will not give away johnnie smith's identitiy TioJaime: this is good, Amit Garcia-Nguyen MwHCock: no problem Rodolpho Lebanon Something Cochise TioJaime: my middle name is Wynn TioJaime: and man oh man MwHCock: I know MwHCock: but i couldn't spell it TioJaime: do i want to hump Josie Maran while her BF J. Danforth Quayle watches 9:45 PM MwHCock: I'd rather jump on that waitress who went out with the drug-dealer dude TioJaime: who Katie Greene? oh man she was hot TioJaime: a tard, but hot MwHCock: dude MwHCock: at first i doubted you MwHCock: but she was hot TioJaime: sweet jeebus yeah MwHCock: when she came over and we watched the U$C game TioJaime: when was this? MwHCock: and we threw the frisbee around after MwHCock: senior year TioJaime: oh oh oh! TioJaime: yeah man TioJaime: she was wearing shorts, wasn't she? MwHCock: she had green overall shorts TioJaime: oh and Lord Volde-Megan was down in LA for the game w/the band, huh MwHCock: booyah TioJaime: would've been U¢LA that year MwHCock: yessum MwHCock: and Deltha O'neal scored ran back a put for a TD, ran a kick off for a td, ran back an INT for a Td, caught a TD, and threw a TD TioJaime: go bears MwHCock: i remember he was in on 5 TD's TioJaime: ahh, back when we sucked

And there was my own contribution to the blogosphere for this Harry Potter mania. My ex, lovingly referred to as Lord Volde-Megan, has unwittingly earned one of the funniest nicknames ever bestowed by jihad jimmy. As is the convention used in the book, no one is to say the name but instead use euphemisms like "She-Who-Shall-Not-Be-Named" or "You-Know-Who".

No one, that is, except for Harry Potter Tio Jaime, Boy Wizard Engineer.

the 4th quarter is ours!!

TioJaime: oh that must've been the year of the O'Neal-Stanfurd Big Game MwHCock: yes MwHCock: it was MwHCock: he ran back the first 2 kickoffs TioJaime: heh yeah MwHCock: so they wouldn't kick to him after that TioJaime: yeah TioJaime: and then we didn't score anymore! TioJaime: yay! TioJaime: GO TioJaime: BIG BLUE TioJaime: SHOW WHAT YOU CAN DO MwHCock: and their fullback ran a 86 yd td on us MwHCock: 96 yrd TioJaime: ROLL ON YOU BEARS 9:50 PM MwHCock: a record for stanfurd fullbacks MwHCock: at least we had tedford now TioJaime: YOU KNOW IT MwHCock: have TioJaime: YOU TELL THE STORY MwHCock: you tell the whole damn world TioJaime: YOU TELL THE WHOLE DAMN WORLD THIS IS O'NEAL TERRITORY MwHCock: Hit Squad!! TioJaime: LOL TioJaime: was that the same year as Harris for Heisman? MwHCock: the 4th quarter is ours!! TioJaime: that still draws the ire of 96 cal fans whenever i do that @ games nowadays MwHCock: haha MwHCock: it was horrible MwHCock: we ended up losing in the 4th quarter for like the last 5 games MwHCock: always blowing a lead TioJaime: yes TioJaime: that sucked TioJaime: i still hate pullman, WA to this day

Our freshman year, we were 5-0 under Steve Mariucci for the first time in about 50 years (having just beaten U$C in the LA Coliseum for the first time in almost 30 years), and were about to beat WSU, the Pac-10's other 5-0 team, when Pat Barnes fumbled on the WSU 1 during our 4th quarter, go-ahead drive. We lost 5 of 6 after going 5-0 that year and ended up losing a) the Aloha Bowl to Navy and b) Coach Mariucci to the 49ers. Thus began the dark, dark Tom Holmoe years, where we won maybe 15 games over the next 5 years? I try to block that shit out of my memory...

s'OK i live in oakland

MwHCock: I hate new jersey MwHCock: the whole state TioJaime: come back to CA TioJaime: i wanna go shooting 9:55 PM MwHCock: We should sell it MwHCock: I am in CA MwHCock: we can go next week MwHCock: but i have no more gun TioJaime: s'OK i live in oakland MwHCock: i lived in newark NJ MwHCock: more ghetto than oakland MwHCock: with no redeeming part MwHCock: ok man MwHCock: gonna sleep MwHCock: ttyl

Good luck on the Bar, dude. Don't spend too long on the hipster-chick questions.

Jihad Jimmy, Minister of War Crimes and Chief Defender of the Faith

Housekeeping! You want wake-up call?

i forgot where i got this from and i'm too lazy to properly cite it. it was probably yahoo! news
Blair said: "Not one inch should we give to these people ... we shouldn't even allow them a vestige of an excuse for what they do." He told his monthly news conference: "September 11 for me was a wake-up call. Do you know what I think? A lot of the world woke up for a short time and then turned over and went back to sleep again."

No shit. What've we got here, a fucking comedian. Private Blair.

No shit people rolled over and went back to sleep. Look who we almost elected here in America-land three years later... I'm sure that a quite a few people who voted for Sore-Losermann¹ were pleased to know that it was W and not the Gore-tard who was in that classroom that infamous morning. Can you imagine what would've been the Democrud policy from 12 September 2001 through today? A lot of appeasement, a lot of bending over backwards to accommodate Good Ole' Islam in modern, Judeo-Christian society², a healthy dose of unilateral understanding and tolerance.

Yeah right. Islam doesn't deserve Tolerance. It deserves Christian Missionaries. It deserves the Crusades. It deserves Concentration Camps.

Whoa hey hold on there Jihad Jimmy! That was crossing the line!

Umm, OK. Not sure why that last one of the three there would set you SHoPpers off, but I suppose that's the wrong post at the wrong time³.

At the very least, Islam deserves Internment Camps.

Jihad Jimmy, Minister of War Crimes and Chief Defender of the Faith

---

1 One of my first acts of Berkeley-style Republicanism was making photocopies of the Sore-Losermann flyer and putting them up around campus. Sometimes, my flyers would stay displayed in locked cabinets for weeks. Sure, they were eventually removed, but they'd immediately find their way back... so much fun to piss berkeley LIbEralS off!

2 Surprisingly, you LIbEral Little Brains, we do live in a Judeo-Christian society! If you can't come to grips with this, you hereby forfeit your rights to discuss important things with us grown-ups. Kindly STFU and go back to the kiddie table. Now.

3 Lemme see if I have an archived post which talks about the idiocy of Jewish-Americans who always seem to side with the modern, neo-Anti-Semitic Democruddy Party... here try these two. the second more so than the first, but you'll still like the first.
Cute Jewish Chicks with Big Damn Guns
Help is on the way?? Soitenly! Woob woob woob!!!

I was an engineer the last time I checked...

Maybe i'm just a masochist. I keep taking these tests knowing full well that I'm not the self-proclaimed engineer-geek I thought I was.

But I'm always hopeful...

Special thanks in advance to Jen for destroying yet another of my engineer ambitions.




Well you know what? Eff you and eff your families-- let's talk about the game. Screw this! I have more engineer in me and my somewhat stylish non-engineer shoes than these nerds can ever hope to have. I don't need a damn test to tell me that I'm a nerd. Eff you and eff your families.

all my love,
Jihad Jimmy, Minister of War Crimes and Chief Defender of the Faith

Can we kill some of these celebrities yet? Huh? Can we?

Ricky Martin made my shit list today. Add that to a long list of celebrity morons who think they know better than the rest of us. Here's some other folks who recently made the list:

Tom Cruise - You're damn right he's gay. I have it on good authority. Let's see if his gay lover does make good on his threat to come out and embarass him. Scientology is the cult of Hollywood.
Lance Armstrong - Married a communist (Sheryl Crow) after divorcing his wife (with whom he had several children and struggled through cancer). Would've left it at that until I saw this picture:

No, Lance. Keep your skinny ass out of politics.

Anyways, back to our friend Ricky. Just look at this dweeb and what he said:

On his first visit to the Middle East, Ricky Martin declared he will try to change negative perceptions of Arab youth in the West.

First trip to the Middle East, you say? Ah! I guess that makes you a FRIGGIN AUTHORITY on the arab culture! Please, oh please, talented musician, tell me more!

"I promise I will become a spokesperson, if you allow me to, a spokesperson on your behalf. I will defend you and try to get rid of any stereotypes," the 33-year-old singer told youngsters from 16 mainly Arab countries at a youth conference on Monday.

Here's a suggestion. Why don't you become a spokesperson for the idiotic race of celebrities who think they can solve world problems so damn easily? Tell me, Ricky, don't you know at some Muslim schools that they're taught to hate Americans? Let's reform Arab schools. How about becoming a spokesperson for that?

The children, ages 14 to 16, expressed concern about being labeled as "terrorists" by the West.

Yes, best to be labeled a terrorist only after having strapped explosives to my body and run into a crowded subway full of innocent people. Racial profiling only hurts my chances of blowing people up in the name of Allah!

"I have been a victim of stereotypes. I come from Latin America and to some countries, we are considered 'losers,' drug traffickers, and that is not fair because that is generalizing," said Martin, who was born in Puerto Rico.

I consider you a 'loser', but for a completely different reason. That isn't generalizing.

"Those comments are made out of ignorance and we have to sometimes ignore the ignorant, but we also have to educate the ignorant. You have me here as a friend," he said.

Ignorance? Whose first trip to the middle east is it we're talking about here? Holy Jeebus! People like this get press. Incredible. IN FRIGGING CREDIBLE!

Friendly conservative base-blogging!

On behalf of the SHoP's Ministry of Baseball, I'd like to invite marknicodemo.mu.nu to participate in a friendly baseball bet!

I bet my beloved SF Giants (42-55) will embarass themselves against your Chicago Cubs (50-48)! Any takers? Yeah, didn't think so.

And wow, a quick check on the standings reveal that the cubs, at two games above .500 are a half game better than the NL West leading Padres (50-49). At 12 games behind first, the cubs are still better than an entire division. wonderful.

Giants Nation,
Jihad Jimmy, Minister of War Crimes and Chief Defender of the Faith

ps- No more blogging @ work! just this one time...

Great Vengeance and Furious Anger, VI

PREVIOUSLY ON THE SHOP...

Great Vengeance and Furious Anger, Prologue
Great Vengeance and Furious Anger, I and II
Great Vengeance and Furious Anger, III
Great Vengeance and Furious Anger, IV
Great Vengeance and Furious Anger, V

THE FOLLOWING TAKES PLACE BETWEEN 4:00 PM AND 5:00 PM.

EVENTS OCCUR IN REAL TIME.

Pulled in broad daylight in front of two bicyclists and lesbians in a pickup truck in the People's Republic of Berzerkeley.

Great Vengeance, Furious Anger...

Sixfold

Check out GV&FA, I&II for some background and one more SHoP link on this poorly designed sticker.

Jihad Jimmy, Minister of War Crimes and Chief Defender of the Faith

[hotchick]

click to enlarge in new window
[/hotchick]

And I feel fine

You Are 10% Weird

You're totally, completely normal. And that's pretty darn weird!

How Weird Are You?

Umm, yeah. And there's no Liberal Media Bias.

I was going to prepare a few quick links for you documenting my weirdness on the SHoP (which, you shouldn't be surprised to learn, somewhat parallels jimmy IRL). But 1) quick links? hah! and 2) just click on any archived month to the right, and then search the page for "Tio Jaime" and just read the associated post.

Everyone picks a winner!

Jihad Jimmy, Minister of War Crimes and Chief Defender of the Faith

ps- courtesy House of Snark

Great Vengeance and Furious Anger, V

PREVIOUSLY ON THE SHOP...

Great Vengeance and Furious Anger, Prologue
Great Vengeance and Furious Anger, I and II
Great Vengeance and Furious Anger, III
Great Vengeance and Furious Anger, IV

THE FOLLOWING TAKES PLACE BETWEEN 4:00 AM AND 5:00 AM.

EVENTS OCCUR IN REAL TIME.

Parked the UESC Lorelai, saw a Volvo(!) in the retirement highrise's parking lot, had two stickers. The other one said "WAR IS NOT THE ANSWER". But really, this one needed to be liberated as there is still a war on and the other sticker wasn't completely pointless. Deluded and retarded, yes, but not without reason.

Great Vengeance, Furious Anger...

Fivefold

Still is slow-going as I appeared to have overharvested my neighborhood.

Jihad Jimmy, Minister of War Crimes and Chief Defender of the Faith

[hotchick disclaimer="If loving Natalie Portman is wrong, then baby, I don't wanna be right"]

click to enlarge in new window
[/hotchick]

Satur-dee Shooting the Shit, SHoP-Style!

This summary is not available. Please click here to view the post.

hot nerdy jimmy-chicks encouraged to apply!

And as soon as i wrote that post title, i knew you'd be asking "well jimmy, what exactly constitutes a Jimmy-Chick?" Well just watch the video. Jimmy likes glasses.

I question the NSFW disclaimer. But then again, I tend to work in pretty rowdy environments.

e-mail from MwHCock
From: MwHCock <MwHCock@retardsmithantics.com> Date: Wed Jul 20, 2005 8:24:10 AM US/Pacific To: Jihad Jimmy, Minister of War Crimes and Chief Defender of the Faith <JihadJimmyMWCCDF@TioJaimeNation.gov> Subject: link Not safe for work http://www.milkandcookies.com/links/32981/ This is why I need a blog, to share these things.

I've already extended an invitation to him to join Tio Jaime: Aleph One. He'll probably join up when he's done w/the bar.

Jihad Jimmy, Minister of War Crimes and Chief Defender of the Faith

ps- stupid mailto: tag, that was a lot of work just for dummy e-mail addresses

California, Here's To Thee1, II

This has nothing to do with the content of the parent post; I just wanted to keep a cool blog title going.



I found this on Berkeley's site. I do find it impressive that MIT has decent Poly Sci and Psych doctorate programs. Go Bears and Go Beavers²!

---

1 Post title is the same as the first line of one of the University of California's hymns.

2 I don't know if if it's technically "Go Beavers" or "Go Engineers". Beavers are MIT's mascot and they are the engineers of the animal kingdom.

No use trying to reinvent the wheel

Rather than search for myself, I took the easy way out and checked out the one-stop convenience of marknicodemo.mu.nu.

Check it out, as it's succinct, and just waiting for eager eyes such as yours to come visit.

Bush Nominates Roberts

Even has a pic for you short-attention-spanned SHoPpers.

Jihad Jimmy, Minister of War Crimes and Chief Defender of the Faith

Another Wonderful Opportunity for SHoPpers across These Fruited Plains to BLATANTLY IGNORE Their Tio Jaime's Advice

Not that I'm bitter or anything. Because when you ignore my advice, it's not like you missing out on any good radio shows or a good website or anything.

OK. This just goes to show you that I'm either 1) uber-gullible, or 2) really susceptible to brunettes with cute hair. From what I've gathered, this is a regular search engine, and will probably return the same results as Google, but with the added bonus of random prizes. And all for the price of one stupid cookie?

Yes, you can get prizes just for performing a plain, old vanilla search. And yes, you'll probably win shit for the people who referred you, but Hello SHoPpers, if you know your Rush Limbaugh you'll know that life is not a zero-sum game! If you can win shit and your Tio Jaime can win shit, isn't this good for all of us?

Do yourself a favor. Sign yourself up for this, you really have nothing to lose.

Why yes, Tio Jaime! I will listen to you if only just this once...

No, Tio Jaime. I am one of the biggest tards known to mankind.

Added bonus: if you let me refer you, you won't be a part of the dozens of SHoPpers who let me down!

Jihad Jimmy, Minister of War Crimes and Chief Defender of the Faith

California, Here's to Thee1

Not only does this tear into a wonderful SoCal school district, it gives a nice, shiny middle finger to the Oakland School District.

Black Kids Are Too Stupid to Learn English

Ebonics is not a separate language. It is English corrupted by peer pressure that mocks students who "talk white". It is English corrupted by a culture that glorifies the fact that over 70% of their children are born out of wedlock. It is English corrupted by a mindset that thinks that the best way out of East Oakland is to get a basketball scholarship to Cal.

Any Demo-cunts² out there now with their panties in a bunch? Yeah why don't you come visit me in Oakland. Pick me up from my affluent LIbEral neighborhood and we'll drive to the Home of Chicken and Waffles or any one of other numerous businesses staffed by black youngsters and we'll see how far you get trying to ignore the stereotypes that are screaming in your face.

You fuck-rod impostors make me sick. You don't know the first thing about being Liberals. You don't care about black people. You want them poor and financially reliant on the government and unable to speak the native language of their own country. You don't care about women. You should've demanded the resignation of that Arkansan rapist and the castration of that Iraqi misogynist.

All these things that you should be standing for in the name of Justice and Liberty? Newsflash for you, you fuckwads: you abandoned it a long time ago in the name of Unions, Socialism, Wealth Redistribution, and Shitty Feel-Good Solutions which do little more than allow you to mentally masturbate in front of your Blue State fuck-up friends.

You aren't a political party anymore. You're a fucking joke.

Cordially,
Jihad Jimmy, Minister of War Crimes and Chief Defender of the Faith

---

1 Post title is the same title as one of the University of California's hymns.

2 Heh. I don't know how that one managed to escape me until now. In the future, I'll only use that to refer to male Democruds. Ain't emasculation of LIbEralS great? I mean, past the self-emasculation which they've managed to perfect on themselves and their young boys. Thanks, single moms! You're singlehandedly making the case for mandatory, nation-wide sterilization!

NBCSandiego.com - News - Toilet-To-Tap Plan Gets Closer To Reality

I think I'm going to get another Brita.

Commemoration of SixH's b-day in Las Vegas!!!

LIVE FROM THE BUSINESS CENTER OF THE IMPERIAL PALACE IN LOVELY LAS VEGAS, NV...

Unfortunately, SixHertz is not with us to celebrate. In Vegas... sorry, it sounded like "SixH is no longer with us". Anycrap, here's some pics for you to enjoy.

---

[update date=20050717 time=0859]
Back from Vegas. God, do I love Vegas. Here's one more photo-update as i get ready to take a shower and comemmorate 51 consecutive hours between sleep periods. I've been awake since getting up for work at 6am on Fri-dee. I think I'm gonna sleep until I have to get up for work on Mon-dee.

And I think I broke the seal only just now in Oakland. I dunno. The past 30 hours have been a bit of a blur.
[/update]

Snark-blogging

You have been saved, SHoP, from 3am Criticisms of The Amazing Race 8. Looks like i've missed the season premiere. Although I can't find any record of it anywhere... maybe i misread something on the House of Snark

butin the meantime, here are two quizzes from the Snark's recent posts...

In a Past Life...

You Were: A Diseased Belly Dancer. Where You Lived: Tibet. How You Died: In Childbirth.

Who Were You In a Past Life?

Overall, Your Observation Skills Get: B+

Your senses are pretty sharp (okay, most of the time) And it takes something big to distract you!

How Observant Are You?

Hope all is well. I'll send trackback pings tomorrow when i'm not as sleepy.

Jihad Jimmy, Minister of War Crimes and Chief Defender of the Faith

Prime material

Just discovered my new co-worker worked for the Howard Dean campaign.

Won't this be fun.

i just want to feed her candy and buy her expensive things

i miss lauren. I'm going to UT-Austin to find a wife. Oh, and to get my master's... but wouldn't you rather I blog about a hot texan as opposed to homework?

ooh allison mack! your tio jaime is watching the beginning of smallville right now as i write this intro... ooh allison mack

jihad jimmy, minister of war crimes and chief defender of the faith

Live 3am Criticism of Ashtard Kutcher's Beauty and the Geek... The Aftermath!

You are now in chat room “AIMisRetarded.” JihadJimmyMWCCDF has entered the chat room. JihadJimmyMWCCDF (7:57:51 PM): OK so i've already demonstrated that I'm a tard JihadJimmyMWCCDF (7:57:53 PM): but here's another one JihadJimmyMWCCDF (7:58:01 PM): i missed the season finale of Beuaty and the Geek JihadJimmyMWCCDF (7:58:11 PM): Chuckeroo and Kite-ell-in won JihadJimmyMWCCDF (8:00:02 PM): yay JihadJimmyMWCCDF (8:00:14 PM): OK shoot your Joe wad before you even start JihadJimmyMWCCDF (8:00:18 PM): ooh scarlet JihadJimmyMWCCDF (8:00:22 PM): blah blah JihadJimmyMWCCDF (8:00:24 PM): where's lauren? JihadJimmyMWCCDF (8:00:37 PM): ooh lauren! JihadJimmyMWCCDF (8:00:40 PM): ooh scarlet JihadJimmyMWCCDF (8:00:51 PM): oh wonderful it's live JihadJimmyMWCCDF (8:01:02 PM): oh the host is brian mcfayden? JihadJimmyMWCCDF (8:01:06 PM): like we really give a fuck JihadJimmyMWCCDF (8:01:19 PM): OK those responses were fucking retarded JihadJimmyMWCCDF (8:01:33 PM): umm, LAUREN JihadJimmyMWCCDF (8:01:37 PM): fucking tards JihadJimmyMWCCDF (8:01:46 PM): oh camp it up you dumb emm-effers JihadJimmyMWCCDF (8:01:52 PM): cheryl JihadJimmyMWCCDF (8:01:53 PM): erkida and joe JihadJimmyMWCCDF (8:01:58 PM): ewww she's nasty JihadJimmyMWCCDF (8:02:06 PM): lauren!!! JihadJimmyMWCCDF (8:02:12 PM): ooh scarlet JihadJimmyMWCCDF (8:02:16 PM): mindi and richard JihadJimmyMWCCDF (8:02:18 PM): ooh hi mindi JihadJimmyMWCCDF (8:02:28 PM): kite-ell-in and chuckeroo! JihadJimmyMWCCDF (8:02:34 PM): WTF, we're missing one geek? JihadJimmyMWCCDF (8:03:07 PM): chuckeroo hs a beard JihadJimmyMWCCDF (8:03:17 PM): yay for chuck JihadJimmyMWCCDF (8:03:18 PM): ooh lauren! JihadJimmyMWCCDF (8:03:39 PM): "peace, love and bubblegum" JihadJimmyMWCCDF (8:03:41 PM): yeah that rhymes JihadJimmyMWCCDF (8:04:25 PM): ooh hi lauren JihadJimmyMWCCDF (8:04:39 PM): nice job chuckeroo JihadJimmyMWCCDF (8:04:46 PM): STFU and show more lauren JihadJimmyMWCCDF (8:05:13 PM): nice job nosebleed-boy JihadJimmyMWCCDF (8:06:00 PM): nice job joe JihadJimmyMWCCDF (8:06:13 PM): LOL a joe drinking game JihadJimmyMWCCDF (8:06:16 PM): that's wonderful JihadJimmyMWCCDF (8:06:29 PM): how about this, kill a beer each time Lauren is HAWT JihadJimmyMWCCDF (8:06:52 PM): yeah right JihadJimmyMWCCDF (8:06:55 PM): WHORE CITY JihadJimmyMWCCDF (8:07:23 PM): oh yay, the little brother angle JihadJimmyMWCCDF (8:07:36 PM): oh wonderful JihadJimmyMWCCDF (8:07:46 PM): he got free drinks from guys JihadJimmyMWCCDF (8:07:54 PM): kinda like chuckeroo pretending to be a gay JihadJimmyMWCCDF (8:08:05 PM): hey: less chuck, more Lauren JihadJimmyMWCCDF (8:08:18 PM): man i gotta take a huge shit JihadJimmyMWCCDF (8:08:40 PM): oh wonderful a daisy duke contest JihadJimmyMWCCDF (8:08:41 PM): OK JihadJimmyMWCCDF (8:09:03 PM): oh yay and now they're gonna push the dating angle JihadJimmyMWCCDF (8:09:11 PM): i'm gonna push the taking a shit angle JihadJimmyMWCCDF (8:09:11 PM): JihadJimmyMWCCDF (8:16:07 PM): heh JihadJimmyMWCCDF (8:16:14 PM): joe just sniped chuckeroo JihadJimmyMWCCDF (8:16:23 PM): WHORE CITY JihadJimmyMWCCDF (8:16:31 PM): ebay virginity yay JihadJimmyMWCCDF (8:17:05 PM): you stupid tard of a host JihadJimmyMWCCDF (8:17:11 PM): ooh lauren JihadJimmyMWCCDF (8:17:25 PM): i missed what they said about erika and brad JihadJimmyMWCCDF (8:17:26 PM): but whatevs JihadJimmyMWCCDF (8:17:32 PM): ooh hi scarlet JihadJimmyMWCCDF (8:17:45 PM): ooh hi scarlet microphone JihadJimmyMWCCDF (8:18:35 PM): ooh lauren JihadJimmyMWCCDF (8:18:39 PM): you fucking tard JihadJimmyMWCCDF (8:18:54 PM): jesus let the hot texan make out w/you for crying out loud JihadJimmyMWCCDF (8:19:14 PM): yay somebody asked joe out JihadJimmyMWCCDF (8:19:22 PM): LOL JihadJimmyMWCCDF (8:19:42 PM): OK that was funny joe JihadJimmyMWCCDF (8:19:44 PM): i like that dude JihadJimmyMWCCDF (8:20:16 PM): oh cool nice job shawn-dude JihadJimmyMWCCDF (8:20:39 PM): chuckeroo and the jew! part two! JihadJimmyMWCCDF (8:21:28 PM): brb JihadJimmyMWCCDF (8:21:33 PM): gotta put groceries away JihadJimmyMWCCDF (8:24:23 PM): and way to go accurate representation of the mathematical results of the poll JihadJimmyMWCCDF (8:24:59 PM): Chuckeroo, howdy-doo! JihadJimmyMWCCDF (8:25:23 PM): he said a bad word JihadJimmyMWCCDF (8:25:27 PM): LOL JihadJimmyMWCCDF (8:26:12 PM): umm, " JihadJimmyMWCCDF (8:26:17 PM): "between chuck and me" JihadJimmyMWCCDF (8:26:22 PM): oh JihadJimmyMWCCDF (8:26:30 PM): cool, he corrected himself JihadJimmyMWCCDF (8:26:37 PM): after tio jaime corrected him JihadJimmyMWCCDF (8:26:40 PM): nice job, me JihadJimmyMWCCDF (8:27:05 PM): heh JihadJimmyMWCCDF (8:27:15 PM): he's fidgeting, but on purpose JihadJimmyMWCCDF (8:27:17 PM): LOL JihadJimmyMWCCDF (8:27:20 PM): crazy jew JihadJimmyMWCCDF (8:27:29 PM): oh yes, bury the hatchet JihadJimmyMWCCDF (8:27:47 PM): heh JihadJimmyMWCCDF (8:27:50 PM): he's "hilarious" JihadJimmyMWCCDF (8:27:58 PM): and the Jew has to think about it JihadJimmyMWCCDF (8:28:17 PM): yeah nice comment JihadJimmyMWCCDF (8:28:29 PM): ooh hi hot audience chick JihadJimmyMWCCDF (8:28:43 PM): LOL richard's brother tom JihadJimmyMWCCDF (8:28:51 PM): the old dude in a sea of tards JihadJimmyMWCCDF (8:28:56 PM): he mellowed w/age JihadJimmyMWCCDF (8:29:07 PM): you dumbfuck host. that was called "sarcasm" JihadJimmyMWCCDF (8:30:09 PM): maybe i should jump on the one tree hill bandwagon JihadJimmyMWCCDF (8:34:38 PM): ooh hi lauren JihadJimmyMWCCDF (8:34:47 PM): t-a-t-o-o JihadJimmyMWCCDF (8:35:21 PM): ooh lauren is hot when she's doing math in her head JihadJimmyMWCCDF (8:35:35 PM): i just want to feed her candy and buy her expensive things JihadJimmyMWCCDF (8:36:11 PM): i wanna make out w/lauren JihadJimmyMWCCDF (8:36:26 PM): yeah inner stud JihadJimmyMWCCDF (8:36:56 PM): FISTING JihadJimmyMWCCDF (8:37:33 PM): talk about the fisting some more JihadJimmyMWCCDF (8:37:55 PM): please to be letting me drink beer off of your boobs JihadJimmyMWCCDF (8:38:10 PM): ooh krystal the NBA dancer JihadJimmyMWCCDF (8:38:18 PM): oh what are they gonna do? JihadJimmyMWCCDF (8:38:29 PM): OK tha'ts not fair JihadJimmyMWCCDF (8:38:37 PM): yeah you tard JihadJimmyMWCCDF (8:39:00 PM): yay make her feel stupider JihadJimmyMWCCDF (8:39:14 PM): ooh scarlet yes yes JihadJimmyMWCCDF (8:39:38 PM): new mexico new jersey new york and new hampshire JihadJimmyMWCCDF (8:39:50 PM): "i can't do it" JihadJimmyMWCCDF (8:39:54 PM): ooh she's hot JihadJimmyMWCCDF (8:40:23 PM): oh she's hot JihadJimmyMWCCDF (8:40:40 PM): ooh yeah i want to go to texas and find a wife like that JihadJimmyMWCCDF (8:40:52 PM): well maybe not just like that JihadJimmyMWCCDF (8:41:12 PM): yay she wrote in pink in her blue book JihadJimmyMWCCDF (8:41:27 PM): and i called that a second before she told us pink JihadJimmyMWCCDF (8:41:41 PM): was that a joke? JihadJimmyMWCCDF (8:41:51 PM): i forget what he said during the episode JihadJimmyMWCCDF (8:42:16 PM): ha ha JihadJimmyMWCCDF (8:42:19 PM): you have to make out w/the Jew JihadJimmyMWCCDF (8:42:36 PM): you stupid chick JihadJimmyMWCCDF (8:42:44 PM): oh wonderful and now the crowd's cheering JihadJimmyMWCCDF (8:42:59 PM): she's kinda cute JihadJimmyMWCCDF (8:43:20 PM): great she slipped in tongue JihadJimmyMWCCDF (8:43:24 PM): what a stupid show JihadJimmyMWCCDF (8:43:30 PM): damn i'm a tard JihadJimmyMWCCDF (8:44:00 PM): ooh hi catherine zeta-jones JihadJimmyMWCCDF (8:44:04 PM): heh funny commercial JihadJimmyMWCCDF (8:46:21 PM): why was mindi the favorite? JihadJimmyMWCCDF (8:46:23 PM): WTF JihadJimmyMWCCDF (8:46:28 PM): clearly lauren JihadJimmyMWCCDF (8:46:31 PM): you stupid tareds JihadJimmyMWCCDF (8:47:05 PM): "you're making me dumber" JihadJimmyMWCCDF (8:47:07 PM): ooh lauren JihadJimmyMWCCDF (8:47:56 PM): umm, yes they are different JihadJimmyMWCCDF (8:48:00 PM): i don't wnat to have lots of sex w/you JihadJimmyMWCCDF (8:48:15 PM): la la superficial girls who look like us JihadJimmyMWCCDF (8:48:44 PM): ooh yeah lauren JihadJimmyMWCCDF (8:48:58 PM): i just want to buy her cupcakes JihadJimmyMWCCDF (8:49:31 PM): so, cheryl has become a scientologist JihadJimmyMWCCDF (8:49:41 PM): and which geek is missing? JihadJimmyMWCCDF (8:49:46 PM): ooh hi lauren JihadJimmyMWCCDF (8:50:13 PM): OK i'm moving to texas JihadJimmyMWCCDF (8:50:58 PM): yay for shawn's hair! JihadJimmyMWCCDF (8:51:35 PM): oh yay more richard-mojo JihadJimmyMWCCDF (8:51:41 PM): and dude, why krystal? ack JihadJimmyMWCCDF (8:52:36 PM): heh she's buying boots JihadJimmyMWCCDF (8:52:55 PM): yay chuckeroo JihadJimmyMWCCDF (8:53:14 PM): highlights never before seen on TV!!! JihadJimmyMWCCDF (8:53:29 PM): ooh lauren JihadJimmyMWCCDF (8:53:43 PM): ooh lauren doing pushups JihadJimmyMWCCDF (8:54:03 PM): heh book burning JihadJimmyMWCCDF (8:54:13 PM): ooh lauren JihadJimmyMWCCDF (8:54:17 PM): lauren kleavage JihadJimmyMWCCDF (8:54:28 PM): i miss lauren JihadJimmyMWCCDF (8:54:48 PM): oh i'm such the Geek JihadJimmyMWCCDF (8:55:10 PM): hey, perhaps you should a less retarded host JihadJimmyMWCCDF (8:55:19 PM): ooh lauren JihadJimmyMWCCDF has left the chat room.