SixHertz House of Pain: Great Vengeance and Furious Anger, I and II

I'm told that I live in the Castro district of Oakland, CA. No, I'm not gay, as I'd like to make out w/the woman who told me this.

3:57 PM
i spotted two sloppily placed stickers on a volvo in the warm CA sun outside my apartment
easy money
stickers are on the folds of the bumper
4:00 PM
1 and 2

The first sticker was designed to look like a Bush 2004 sticker, but actually said "BUSH CHEATED". Which is fucking retarded. On bumper stickers, you don't really want to play the subtle parody card. Conveying sarcasm and inside jokes is a bit too much for your LIbEral cohorts to try to comprehend as they pass you on the freeway.

Seriously, I can't believe you Little Brains are this fucking retarded. But really what else should I expect from people who put their faith in a piece of shit like John Kerry and then subsequently LOST an election which should've been a slam dunk. I suppose I'm not surprised that you can't even make effective bumper stickers w/o my guidance.

And I know you liberal retards still don't follow, so I'll spell it out for you. (Patience, right-minded SHoPpers.) I don't think your stickers are having the effects you intended for them to have. I'm not scared. I'm not intimidated. I'm not even angry at the messages they're trying to convey. I pity you, because this is the best you can do against me and my ilk. You're not convincing me of anything but your incompetence.

Ooh, you can sell a sticker that looks like something a Red American would put on his car... BUT IT REALLY ISN'T OMG LOL!!! Nice job, geniuses. Way to convince us that you are far from nimble-minded. Way to remind us that you are mere shadows of the political force you were in the 90s.

Have you tricked a Republican into putting one of these on his SUV? Then what's the fucking point? If the images on the right upset you, why would you put the images on the left on your cars when they're almost identical to their counterparts at 75mph on the interstate?

Wow. These stickers are all kinds of sneaky!

And don't even bother w/pointing out that the red and white fields are reversed. Your stupid liberal friends aren't smart enough or observant enough to realize that your turning the Texas flag upside-down is symbolic of your defiance. Blue Light Special in Aisle Nobody-Gives-a-Fuck.

I can tell you're still confused. I'll photoshop an example later this week. Just for you, you liberal fucktard. Don't choke on it.

Anycrap, back to the stickers. The lesson here, SHoPpers, is "Say what you mean and mean what you say".

Great Vengeance, Furious Anger...
Onefold Twofold

For the benefit of those of you new to the SHoP, these two stickers follow in the footsteps of the 30-40 I liberated during and after the election. From cars in the heart of Blue America. Some even in broad daylight on busy streets. Unfortunately, i was storing these liberated stickers in my old work truck. God, it was beautiful. Imagine 30 sticker remnants forming a colorful collage on the inside of my driver's side sun visor. Oh shit, wait i have a pic here when it was just getting started... click the thumbnail to enlarge

How do you like this "edgy, Republican schtick" now, you worthless, asshole peaceniks?

Eat Me