gabbing it up like a couple of chicks @ a sewing circle

We're actually better than a gossipy sewing circle, because we talk about hot chicks, football and we use bad words.

this shit sucks

TioJaime: you in CA? TioJaime: and did you take the Bar? MwHCock: sacramento MwHCock: 1 day down MwHCock: 2 to go 9:35 PM TioJaime: do the Dew b-- TioJaime: FUCK 3 DAYS?!? MwHCock: yeah TioJaime: do the Dew baby TioJaime: damn MwHCock: this shit sucks TioJaime: i bet TioJaime: come this friday TioJaime: you will have earned Zoo MwHCock: i wish i hadn't had classes all summer so I could have studied more MwHCock: god damn tax classes TioJaime: round up your cousins, we'll go to the zoo

Zoo is code for something SHoPpers. If you don't get it, check out the archives.

And "Excremento" is straight from Don and Mike.

i wonder what she'll wear tomorrow

TioJaime: ooh yeah excremento MwHCock: this chick who was sitting in front of me was so hot MwHCock: it was sooooo distraccting MwHCock: she was kind of a hipster chick MwHCock: As Jay would say.... MwHCock: slammin body MwHCock: and her face was so pretty MwHCock: and when she leaned forward, her pink underwear came up MwHCock: damn MwHCock: chicks like that should not be allowed in the test TioJaime: ooh yeah TioJaime: i likes pink underwears 9:40 PM MwHCock: i wonder what she'll wear tomorrow MwHCock: this random douche bag I went to law school with was there. He has decide to move to california TioJaime: assigned seating? MwHCock: yeah TioJaime: ooh yeah TioJaime: take a pic MwHCock: can't MwHCock: no phones allowed in test center TioJaime: that's pretty selfish of you, my friend MwHCock: not even digital watches TioJaime: not wanting to share pink underwear hipster w/the rest of us MwHCock: she belongs to me TioJaime: uncool MwHCock: All i remember about that douche bag from law school was he gave this girl i know the clap. TioJaime: double-plus uncool MwHCock: I used to refer to him as a space cadet MwHCock: he was always flying high on somehting TioJaime: ahh

I for one, am completely in favor of the current fashion trend of lo-rise jeans. No, I wouldn't wear them myself. And no, if I had a daughter, I wouldn't let her wear them for fear that she might make somebody's blog.

I certainly wouldn't let her go to parties where they have alcohol and/or toilets.

But aside from those reservations, yes, I like chicks in lo-rise jeans. And boyshorts. And glasses.

OK for the next segment, I had to take out real names. Anything italicized has been changed to protect the innocent.

she was wearing shorts, wasn't she?

TioJaime: just be sure, for the purposes of this chat, to refrain from proper names MwHCock: ok MwHCock: i will not give away johnnie smith's identitiy TioJaime: this is good, Amit Garcia-Nguyen MwHCock: no problem Rodolpho Lebanon Something Cochise TioJaime: my middle name is Wynn TioJaime: and man oh man MwHCock: I know MwHCock: but i couldn't spell it TioJaime: do i want to hump Josie Maran while her BF J. Danforth Quayle watches 9:45 PM MwHCock: I'd rather jump on that waitress who went out with the drug-dealer dude TioJaime: who Katie Greene? oh man she was hot TioJaime: a tard, but hot MwHCock: dude MwHCock: at first i doubted you MwHCock: but she was hot TioJaime: sweet jeebus yeah MwHCock: when she came over and we watched the U$C game TioJaime: when was this? MwHCock: and we threw the frisbee around after MwHCock: senior year TioJaime: oh oh oh! TioJaime: yeah man TioJaime: she was wearing shorts, wasn't she? MwHCock: she had green overall shorts TioJaime: oh and Lord Volde-Megan was down in LA for the game w/the band, huh MwHCock: booyah TioJaime: would've been U¢LA that year MwHCock: yessum MwHCock: and Deltha O'neal scored ran back a put for a TD, ran a kick off for a td, ran back an INT for a Td, caught a TD, and threw a TD TioJaime: go bears MwHCock: i remember he was in on 5 TD's TioJaime: ahh, back when we sucked

And there was my own contribution to the blogosphere for this Harry Potter mania. My ex, lovingly referred to as Lord Volde-Megan, has unwittingly earned one of the funniest nicknames ever bestowed by jihad jimmy. As is the convention used in the book, no one is to say the name but instead use euphemisms like "She-Who-Shall-Not-Be-Named" or "You-Know-Who".

No one, that is, except for Harry Potter Tio Jaime, Boy Wizard Engineer.

the 4th quarter is ours!!

TioJaime: oh that must've been the year of the O'Neal-Stanfurd Big Game MwHCock: yes MwHCock: it was MwHCock: he ran back the first 2 kickoffs TioJaime: heh yeah MwHCock: so they wouldn't kick to him after that TioJaime: yeah TioJaime: and then we didn't score anymore! TioJaime: yay! TioJaime: GO TioJaime: BIG BLUE TioJaime: SHOW WHAT YOU CAN DO MwHCock: and their fullback ran a 86 yd td on us MwHCock: 96 yrd TioJaime: ROLL ON YOU BEARS 9:50 PM MwHCock: a record for stanfurd fullbacks MwHCock: at least we had tedford now TioJaime: YOU KNOW IT MwHCock: have TioJaime: YOU TELL THE STORY MwHCock: you tell the whole damn world TioJaime: YOU TELL THE WHOLE DAMN WORLD THIS IS O'NEAL TERRITORY MwHCock: Hit Squad!! TioJaime: LOL TioJaime: was that the same year as Harris for Heisman? MwHCock: the 4th quarter is ours!! TioJaime: that still draws the ire of 96 cal fans whenever i do that @ games nowadays MwHCock: haha MwHCock: it was horrible MwHCock: we ended up losing in the 4th quarter for like the last 5 games MwHCock: always blowing a lead TioJaime: yes TioJaime: that sucked TioJaime: i still hate pullman, WA to this day

Our freshman year, we were 5-0 under Steve Mariucci for the first time in about 50 years (having just beaten U$C in the LA Coliseum for the first time in almost 30 years), and were about to beat WSU, the Pac-10's other 5-0 team, when Pat Barnes fumbled on the WSU 1 during our 4th quarter, go-ahead drive. We lost 5 of 6 after going 5-0 that year and ended up losing a) the Aloha Bowl to Navy and b) Coach Mariucci to the 49ers. Thus began the dark, dark Tom Holmoe years, where we won maybe 15 games over the next 5 years? I try to block that shit out of my memory...

s'OK i live in oakland

MwHCock: I hate new jersey MwHCock: the whole state TioJaime: come back to CA TioJaime: i wanna go shooting 9:55 PM MwHCock: We should sell it MwHCock: I am in CA MwHCock: we can go next week MwHCock: but i have no more gun TioJaime: s'OK i live in oakland MwHCock: i lived in newark NJ MwHCock: more ghetto than oakland MwHCock: with no redeeming part MwHCock: ok man MwHCock: gonna sleep MwHCock: ttyl

Good luck on the Bar, dude. Don't spend too long on the hipster-chick questions.

Jihad Jimmy, Minister of War Crimes and Chief Defender of the Faith