Kiss me, I'm Irish! Get me drunk and have your way with me, Marisa Miller, I'm Republican!

Although since she's from Santa Cruz, she likely has the ubiquitous Bay Aryan disdain for single Republicans.

Quiz Time. Yay. Got this from the House of Snark...

***STUPID TEST ALERT: this is a stupid test. consider yourselves alerted. and yet, i continue***

***Oh wow, thanks an additional 10 insipid questions.***

Bourbon Congratulations! You're 113 proof, with specific scores in beer (40) , wine (83), and liquor (86).

Screw all that namby-pamby chick stuff, you're going straight for the bottle and a shot glass! It'll take more than a few shots of Wild Turkey or 99 Bananas before you start seeing pink elephants. You know how to handle your alcohol, and yourself at parties.

My test tracked 4 variables How you compared to other people your age and gender: You scored higher than 19% on proof You scored higher than 84% on beer index You scored higher than 92% on wine index You scored higher than 91% on liquor index

Link: The Alcohol Knowledge Test written by hoppersplit on Ok Cupid

OK this test is officially horse-ess because i guessed on most of these stupid questions. Especially the wine and beer. This test blows. Don't take it. I'm sorry I made you read this far, yes, but not as sorry as I am for taking 5 minutes out of my life and in effect taking a giant dump on them.

regretfully yours,
Jihad Jimmy, Chief Defender of the Faith

ps- God. There I go again... found another quiz, I actually just wanted to see how stupid it is. I'm taking all my damn eggs out of my ess-sy basket. Taking my hopes and beating them down. let's do this...

Urban Hipster You scored 68!

You think you are cooler than everyone else who does not live in SF. You might be right, but you could use some improvement.

My test tracked 1 variable How you compared to other people your age and gender: You scored higher than 56% on points

Link: The San Francisco Local Test written by pepper_the_rat on Ok Cupid

And now I want to exercise my Second Amendment Rights on hippies. How Eff-ing Dare You call me a GD hipster! What a Ess-ily written test. Eff off.