Finally have this post ready for you. Took me long enough, yes.
Anycrap, happy Fri-dee. The weekend's here, have a can of beer!
Oh! Interesting D&M shit! Was listening to them a couple of nights ago (replay 8-12 on KYCY 1550 AM in San Fran-fucking-cisco) and they were saying that webster's dictionary was pushing for the Don and Mike pronunciation of the days of the week. Fry-dee as opposed to Fry-day. Although it's not entirely D&M'ish.
English-speaking world: FRY-day
"Idiot's Paradise that is the Don and Mike Show": fry-DEE
Webster recommendation: FRY-dee
That's not too much of a stretch. I find that I already do that to a certain extent...
Anycrap, State of the Jaime on this lovely Benicia Fri-dee: Hungry, don't think I'm doing that fasting thing today, will just stick to the standard abstinence. Currently at DUMPCON 4. Pooped this morning in lovely Oakland, and have 2-1/2 hours to crap twice to match my 3 craps between 5:30am and 10:30am from a couple of days ago. TMI? LMBASOMB. Tired at work because of the Xb0x0r. (How's that for irony? While I don't go out during the week now because of MVP Baseball 2005, I stay up later than when I go out, so I'm more tired in the morning. I swear to fuck, I can't win.) Going out to see Evil Dead Live later tonight. Made out in a dream last night, but with whom I can't remember. =( There was quite a bit of tongue and slight teeth, so perhaps it was the ex right before OCDs. 
And speaking of good-morning-wake-me-up posts that kick your sexual inhibitions right through the goalposts, check out WSK as the SHoP is not written by nubile women is written by two three twenty-something conservative engineers. And if you're here at the SHoP just for the bad words, fret not, our band of Significantly Horny Obstinate Perverts as she uses them too.
Not that I'm relinquishing my oft-earned place among the orneriest of cusses in the blogosphere, no sir. And HFS, how'd you like that bit of compositional three card-monte? I know for a fact that there are some Stanfurd humanities pukes out there who couldn't write more colorful imagery and sharper kick-you-in-the-crotch metaphors like the ones contained in the first two sentences of this paragraph. Not even gonna ask you if you're impressed as you already are. And rightly so, sir. And rightly so.
(Engineer-nerd time! You know how I chose that last Jihad Jimmy post for you? I played the odds in that a Jihad Jimmy, Chief Defender of the Faith post would more than likely serve as an example of my ornery cussitude. So I took Lal, my trusty 11-1/2 year old TI-81, typed in 50Rand, got 47.17987012, went to blogger.com's Manage Post screen, and searched for the 47th occurrence of "Jaime". Found that post for your archived enjoyment. Cool shit, huh? Let's see some Stanfurd French major pull some crazy engineering shit like that...)
,
Jihad Jimmy, Chief Defender of the Faith
For all intensive purposes I will not be providing links to the following democrud sites. You wanna read something morally vapid? Check out the Xanga Province of Tio Jaime Nation... At least there we come to grips w/our indecency and depravity. We're not going to pretend to be everybody's friend and end up dicking them to "serve the common good."
Yeah sure, I'm racist and sexist and homoist and all that good shit. Prejudice! Fuck Yeah! And this is part of life. Society asks that you not act upon it or let this judgment cloud your actions especially when dealing with public entities and forums, and to that I give you a little, tiny garfield bookmark... click to enlarge, kidsPoint is: Tio Jaime Nation? Racist. Eh. Democruddy Party? Way more racist than I could ever hope to be. I actually believe that black people can succeed in America if given the opportunity. Do Nancy Pelo-suck or Barbara Box-tard believe this? No, no fucking way.
Check out their voting records in respect to the rapid deployment of strategic welfare and affirmative action non-proliferation treaties. You'll easily see that these fucktards, electable really only by having other Californian Can't Understand Normal Thinkings as their cunt-stituents, have absolutely no faith at all in the ability of minorities to survive in the white world. You know how sure of this typically Democrud voting pattern I am? I haven't even bothered to fact-check. Not gonna waste my fucking time. Not gonna waste your time.
Most importantly, not gonna waste Schmunderground Construkshun's time. Too little, too late? Perhaps. But this is in retribution for those 11- and 12-hour days that I'm fond of working.
And it looks like I've started in early, because here's where I intended to lead in saying, "Once you've had your fill of the morally vapidity incarnate that is the Xanga Province of Tio Jaime Nation..." See how much crap i stuck between the two mentions of the xanga province? Nevermind the days that have elapsed since the initial conception of this post and the right here and the right now.
Buttloads of time, I think. Even though the start-date of this post is Wednes-dee, it's Fri-dee right now. I could swear I started this on Mon-dee.
Tell you the truth, I'm not even sure how this post got started. Well, I mean, I went to the website of the DNC for some reason and figured I should blog about it (see the post title again, and reflect on how it didn't have anything to do with the preface or the beginning of the actual post until this sentence). Now exactly why i went to the DNC site? I can't remember and don't really want to bother trying to recall. But I went and took some notes for this post.
The DNC site (www.democrats.org) fits right in with the whole theme of "Do as I say, not as I do". The same people that recycle their gripes and complaints about George Bush and the Republican Party are the ones who have "Moving America Forward" on their website.
Quel une crocke de shit. You wanna really "Move America Forward?" http://moveamericaforward.com/ There you go. Common sensical americans who have come to grips with the nation they love in a post-9/11 world. The last time the democruds had a "look to the future" message was Bill Clintard's "Bridge to the 21st Century" but if only because he didn't want people to look at all of the shitty things he did in the 20th century.
"Well, yeah, i perjured myself and disgraced the office of the POTUS and declawed our military, but whatevs. I have vision."
Quel une crocke de shit.
And funny how a lot of democrud cars in oakland/berkeley/san francisco still have stickers asking us to Re-defeat Bush and telling us that Regime Change Begins at Home. Hey, nice job with that whole MoveOn(.org) idea, huh? Weren't you the ones who were calling for the healing of the nation after the election which you used to divide and polarize?
Heal this, motherfuckers. I'm taking your sticker off for you. I will do you this favor, because I fucking hate you. I don't care if it's broad daylight. I don't care if you're standing right behind me. You're all either pussified men who are still rebelling against your parents or catty, holier-than-thou C.U.N.T.s who can't drive your SUVs and who snipe at my friends who are smoking outside in CA yet still manage to bother you despite your status as a passerby. Mind your own fucking business already, you worthless hippie shits.
I'm still the plausibly deniable 527 fighting the dirty fight here amongst the Bay Aryans that you Republicans love to have on your side but are way too strait-laced to admit it. A quick visit to the Republican National Comittee website shows a nice, quaint happy vision of the party. A very tiny button near the bottom links you to refutations of democrud ads, but so far as I know, that's it. And I realize that's part of being the majority party: dissent will always be more vociferous than the status quo. This is why my dissent of the dissenting always takes a guerilla approach.
But I know you like it.
Well, this rapidly deteriorated. And now I have no real way to tie back into the original intent of the post. I have a link to Howard Dean's bio from the DNC, but other than having us wonder just exactly how he "created a record based on fiscally conservative principles". Here check it out... http://www.democrats.org/about/bios/dean.html
And the last thing, hopefully you'll glean some satisfaction from this...
Check out http://www.campaignsource.com/ for some democrud gear. Artifacts, maybe. Heh. The bumper sticker in the lower right corner? "DEMOCRATS HAVE MORAL VALUES TOO" Now hold on there, think about this, SHoPpers...
You ever seen the Democrud stickers that ever-so-subtlely jab at republicans... "Hate is NOT a Family Value" Perfect example. What does that sticker imply? Implies that Republicans promote Family Values but also hate things. Sure. NP. I dig that.
So when you say stuff like "DEMOCRATS HAVE MORAL VALUES TOO" you bring to mind the perception that Democruds don't have moral values, that they don't have principles. Yeah, good luck w/that there, you fucksticks.
Hey! I gots a good idea! Instead of making bumper stickers that try to convince us that you have morals and values and can be trusted with our children and our future and our security, why don't you oh I don't know FUCKING ACT LIKE IT. Keep the interests of America at the top of your priorities. Don't pander to and appease those nations and people who seek to destroy us and our treasured way of life. When you do shit like that? That makes us not want to fucking trust you.
When you value your legacy over our cruise missile supply? That makes us not want to fucking trust you.
When getting people to like us is more important than making sure that there is an "us"? That makes us not want to fucking trust you.
When you're all for reparations for descendants of slaves, but you don't want to spend a dime on our military? That makes us not want to fucking trust you.
When preserving wildlife in Alaska (in an area that was designated a wildlife preserve by a lame duck president if only to trip up the incoming administration) is more important than a solvent energy policy? That makes us not want to fucking trust you.
When adhering to environmental standards (unrealistically established by a lame duck president if only to trip up the incoming administration) and throwing hissyfits when these standards are lowered to the original, practical levels is more important than the effectiveness of our economy? That makes us not want to fucking trust you.
When you visit our enemies in wartime or on the brink of war because you're a rich Hollywood prick who obviously places no value in the sacrifice that our armed forces make to win you your right to be a rich Hollywood prick? That makes us not want to fucking trust you.
We don't fucking trust you. And apparently, you don't trust you either.
all my love,
Jihad Jimmy, Chief Defender of the Faith
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