PREVIOUSLY ON THE SHoP...
ooh, that's not moira kelly, but a moira kelly look-alike & allahu akbar that MOTHERFUCKER & those frat guys are kinda gay
 "do you think it's funny to master the harmonica and not tell anybody?" & ooh hi MILF-y hot no-sex Sharon & being black is a secret society!
An unprecedented SHoP first!
THE FOLLOWING TAKES PLACE BETWEEN 8:00 PM AND 10:00 PM.
EVENTS OCCUR IN REAL TIME.
Been watching a lot of TV. This is from yesterday.
Pretty much the moral of the story from Black. White. is...
1) White people are dopey and naive,
2) Black people are very, very angry,
3) Black people are resentful if you patronize them,
4) Black people are resentful if you don't patronize them,
5) Black people make fun of their own who act "white",
6) Black people will sabotage you if you're going to go to a black church for a stupid TV show,
7) Black people will laugh at you behind your back if you suck at being a black person.
This show sucks. And they didn't even choose hot women. And that black kid? what a hump, he says maybe ten words each episode?
what a piece of shit. I'm actually sorry this made it onto the SHoP. Hopefully nobody's reading this right now.
| when it's formalized and put through dialect coaches, you find out things like black people say "bitch" and "nigger" |
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You are now in chat room "WHORECITY."
TioJ has entered the chat room.
TioJ (8:09:02 PM): OK so tonight...
TioJ (8:09:04 PM): OH FUCK ME
TioJ (8:09:14 PM): hello dere!
TioJ (8:09:20 PM): TV MA L
TioJ (8:09:36 PM): OK so one taped episode of Black. White.
TioJ (8:09:45 PM): one live show of The Unit, which sucks
TioJ (8:09:54 PM): (and so you already know that this won't be on the SHoP)
TioJ (8:10:10 PM): (well, do the math. you're not on the SHoP)
TioJ (8:10:14 PM): and then TAR9
TioJ (8:10:18 PM): which might make the SHoP
TioJ (8:10:20 PM): we'll see...
TioJ (8:11:56 PM): "i need to put on my white voice"
TioJ (8:12:14 PM): "white people, dey say de whole worr"
TioJ (8:12:23 PM): white people, they tend to say the whole word.
TioJ (8:13:02 PM): oh, well that's black-speak for you
TioJ (8:13:31 PM): when it's formalized and put through dialect coaches, you find out things like black people say "bitch" and "nigger"
TioJ (8:14:15 PM): yeah, right... slam poetry... sure
TioJ (8:14:21 PM): just trying to legitimize rap
TioJ (8:14:28 PM): what a bunch of shit
TioJ (8:20:36 PM): dude, infidelity in the black race isn't an opinion
TioJ (8:20:52 PM): you got 2/3 of black children born out of wedlock? do the math
TioJ (8:23:35 PM): what, did the word "cusp" confuse them?
TioJ (8:33:33 PM): yeah right... articulation particular to black culture
TioJ (8:38:38 PM): oh they're playing the aunt jemima and uncle ben cards!
TioJ (8:40:17 PM): WELL OBVIOUSLY THE BLACK PEOPLE AREN'T TRYING TO HELP YOU
TioJ (8:43:04 PM): well no shit, maybe if the dumb black C.U.N.T. had helped you out...
TioJ (8:47:14 PM): dumb fag
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Thank God that's done. And I know I promised that we'd never 3amC The Unit again, but i broke that shit.
And then I broke the above promise about not putting it on the SHoP... so really, the two cancel each other out
| ask them if they have a spare portugese wife-to-be laying around their house |
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TioJ (9:00:34 PM): and yay it's time for The Unit!
TioJ (9:01:51 PM): oh yes...
TioJ (9:02:05 PM): where are they going? oh my i wonder where...
TioJ (9:02:12 PM): Indonesia?
TioJ (9:02:13 PM): WTF?
TioJ (9:02:31 PM): fuck this
TioJ (9:07:08 PM): so far this kinda sucks
TioJ (9:07:11 PM): no philippines
TioJ (9:07:30 PM): and that firing range sequence kinda went over my head
TioJ (9:07:47 PM): i shudder to think how the rest of the Little Brain americans took it...
TioJ (9:12:14 PM): great muslims
TioJ (9:12:48 PM): sorry, that should've read "great. muslims."
TioJ (9:27:05 PM): STFU you dumb whore
TioJ (9:27:16 PM): man she's ugly
TioJ (9:27:42 PM): LOL
TioJ (9:27:52 PM): take that, coffee table!
SixH has entered the chat room.
TioJ (9:33:15 PM): hello dere
TioJ (9:33:20 PM): so yeah dude
TioJ (9:33:28 PM): this show sucks so much dead bear
TioJ (9:33:47 PM): that I had to bring you in to keep me interested
SixH (9:34:47 PM): I'm not watching anything now
SixH (9:34:51 PM): whatcha watchin?
TioJ (9:34:52 PM): good
TioJ (9:34:55 PM): don't start
TioJ (9:34:58 PM): watching The Unit
TioJ (9:34:59 PM): on CBS
TioJ (9:35:21 PM): well they're shooting now
TioJ (9:35:28 PM): still... too little too late
TioJ (9:35:48 PM): oh, and i found the opening credits from that Jem shit you were telling me about?
TioJ (9:36:03 PM): I've never seen that shit before... you sure that was me?
SixH (9:40:29 PM): I could've sworn you did
SixH (9:40:37 PM): I'm talking with the parents
TioJ (9:41:18 PM): tell 'em i sez howdy
TioJ (9:42:29 PM): shit, i thought that ugly blonde was gonna take her blouse off
SixH (9:43:06 PM): THey say hi too. :-) They ask if you're doing okay?
TioJ (9:44:01 PM): ask them if they have a spare portugese wife-to-be laying around their house
SixH (9:45:24 PM): My folks laughed, "I wish we did--no young girls left here"
TioJ (9:45:36 PM): tell em i'd be OK w/an older one too...
SixH (9:45:36 PM): "you'll have to hang out near the portuguese festas"
SixH (9:46:00 PM): My parents say you might find a minnesota girl at my wedding. :P
TioJ (9:46:09 PM): wow.
TioJ (9:46:18 PM): so i can go to minnesota. again.
TioJ (9:46:25 PM): LOL
SixH (9:46:39 PM): LOL
TioJ (9:47:00 PM): hey, i hope your woman knows that i'm just effing around whenever i play the making-us-go-to-minnesota card...
SixH (9:47:54 PM): hahah
SixH (9:48:04 PM): I'm sure she does. If not, I'll tell her.
TioJ (9:48:25 PM): it was kinda subtle, but when i made mention of it the first time in your parents' kitchen
TioJ (9:48:55 PM): i saw her wince when i mentioned Minnesota
TioJ (9:49:03 PM): so now that i've uncovered that weakness...
TioJ (9:49:20 PM): heh
SixH (9:50:14 PM): Let's just wait 'till Vegas. I think you'll be impressed with some of the ladies.
SixH (9:50:22 PM): Conservative
TioJ (9:50:25 PM): from minnesota.
SixH (9:50:29 PM): Some from Tuscon
TioJ (9:50:42 PM): conservative? like from land of 10,000 mondale supporters?
SixH (9:51:07 PM): Yup, and from McCain country
TioJ (9:51:28 PM): "if you were a woman, i'd marry you"
TioJ (9:51:33 PM): Ok that was a funny line
SixH (9:51:36 PM): haha
TioJ (9:51:42 PM): shit, dude, i'd vote for McCain...
TioJ (9:52:47 PM): don't see too much else the republicans can put up
SixH (9:55:09 PM): Mitt Romney?
TioJ (9:56:11 PM): massachusetts? |
I forget what happened in the end of the episode. They mixed in too much Desperate Housewives, not enough shooting shit up.
I only put The Unit here because SixH and I started shooting the shit...
Jihad Jimmy, Minister of War Crimes and Chief Defender of the Faith |
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