Word to the Wise, or: Nice job you stupid C.U.N.T.

Hey just a tip from you friendly, neighborhood engineer...

If you're gonna be a C.U.N.T. about it and ask me for a 15% tip on my tab, please to be making sure that I haven't already left you exactly what you were asking for and a bit more

You end up looking like a stupid, uneducated ignoramus. And you make me exclaim things in front of everybody like "What the fuck is this?" and "Where did you learn your fucking math?"

And I don't give a flying fuck if you think you "waited on me all night" because, hey C.U.N.T., you didn't. You're a bartender and did nothing above nor beyond the call of duty for what you're paid. Did you come to my table and take our order? Did you check up on us? Did you do half of what Emily or Mindy or the Young Turk or Crap-On-Your-Bed Girl or Kori would've done?

Ahh, no.

And so really, you didn't even deserve the 15% tip that I left you, but we'll let that one slide.

For future reference, if I have to stand up and find you? You aren't waiting on me.

I've said it before, and I'll say it again-- this time literally: Do the Math.

$66 * 0.15 = $9.90

Since you wanted to split hairs, I really should've taken that dime away and left you exactly 15%. But for now, don't spend it all in one place.

Go suck a cock on the Golden Gate Bridge,
Jihad Jimmy, Chief Defender of the Faith