PEST or: How I Learned to Stop Worrying and Lose Respect for my Ex

PEST = Post-Election Selection Trauma

(some background reading for those of you unawares. Sit down, and try not to pee yourself from laughing so goddam much)
Kerry supporters seek therapy in South Florida
Psychologists blast Rush Limbaugh for mocking traumatized Kerry voters

First and foremost, that's extremely shitty that these "clinicians" are gonna fucking devalue Post-Traumatic Stress Syndrome by pulling this out of their collective asses.

I think it's a bunch of bullshit. Just a bunch of attention whores who, when presented with incontrovertible facts like "BOO FUCKING HOO Bush won fair and square" refuse to accept the reality of the nation and instead try to convince themselves that the election was stolen and they were robbed.

Or worse yet, they shut their lives down completely and cease to function.

HFS, what a fucking waste of human beings. I don't remember being so distraught when Bill Clinton beat Bob Dole's shitty campaign that I didn't go to class the next day. What the hell is wrong with these people? This is what happens when you allow a hippie culture like the 60s to permeate people's worthless lives, OK? They're gonna fucking have a temper tantrum because shit didn't turn out the way they wanted. Oh that's mature. That's lovely, that's absolutely fucking lovely.

Why the fuck must we coddle people who are mentally incapable of dealing with disappointment? Fucking grow up already! I'm thinking back to when JFK Jr. killed his dish of a wife and a friend of theirs because he felt the need to carry on the Kennedy tradition of drowning people on account of Kennedy arrogance. Holy fucking shit, they interviewed some dumbshit cunt of a housefrau who said she started crying and couldn't get any work done the rest of the day (maybe she wasn't a housefrau after all).

CUNT! she didn't even look old enough to have been alive during the shitty kennedy administration! and HOLY FUCKING SHIT, JFK jr didn't even do anything remotely interesting except for fail the bar exam. Oh, he saluted his dad's fucking coffin, well LMBASOMB that makes him a goddam american hero then doesn't it? Bullshit, that was scripted. Some military officer told that toddler who didn't even know any better to salute.

And don't even get me started on giving JFK lite a military burial at sea. Talk about abusing power for your own personal gain. All you bush hataz out there can go suck a cock on the golden gate bridge because you're too stupid to realize that the democrats have fooled you into thinking that only the republicans do that with their halliburtons. Dumbfucks, all of you.

Fuck. where was i? OK. PEST and you fucking retards out there who created your own malady to justify your stupidity.

I had drinks and dinner (and more drinks) with an ex last night at the Royal Exchange. She was a moderate republican when we dated back in 1997-8. Since then she has graduated from Berkeley, gotten a law degree from Harvard, and become an independent.

Her birthday was 02 November 2004, and she said she "cried herself to sleep that night."

Oh God, I couldn't believe what I was hearing.

I asked her, with a shit-eating-grin and a tone dripping with condescension, "Are you suffering from PEST?"

And shit on me and my taste in women. "Not anymore," she replied earnestly.

Dumb [CENSORED 5/4/2005 TJ]. She was depressed about the election. And the bad thing is that she isn't a down-the-ticket Democrat. She's independent.

Holy motherfuck on a stick. DON'T YOU FUCKTARDS HAVE BETTER THINGS TO WORRY ABOUT? SORRY, "ABOUT WHICH TO WORRY?" How about you lose sleep over your job, huh? Or your cholesterol! Or that $300 you just lost on the fucking craps table because that stupid cunt couldn't roll a fucking seven to save her goddam life!

Holy fuck, now I'm going to name things that got me more worked up and pissed off than Clinton's reelection back in 96. Look what you're fucking making me do...

(OK i'm gonna challenge myself. gonna name off these sore points without cussing.)

Losing a bet to T at the strip club because the dancer i selected was a lazy hump and didn't sell a dance for an hour and a half. Stupid city of Oakland parking enforcement giving me tickets for barely parking in a red zone. Giants losing to the Angels. Chenelle. Silent Hill 2. Golfing at the Presidio. Missing the first episode of The Amazing Race 5. Flo and Zack winning The Amazing Race 3. Trucking companies who screw up on my jobsite. People driving.

All of these things made me more upset than a presidential election that didn't go my way. If you're still sore about Bush, why don't you go do us all a favor and kill yourself.

On that note, Merry Christmas, I'm gonna get some lunch, return some waddles to WhiteCap, and maybe start the shopping right now.

Seriously though, if you worked yourself up in to a frenzy over the election and are mortally disappointed that bush won, i'm no longer mad at you, i sincerely pity you.

tio jaime