God Bless American Capitalism!

This capitalism thing is nice, except that it brings everybody and their uncles out of the woodwork and into the parking lot and the mall and in my way.

I'm at Valleyfair mall, which is the mall-at-which-to-be here in the lovely South Bay Area. I'm sitting in front of The Apple Store, and have hopped onto their AirPort with Emily, my TiBook G4 667. Oh that's right you left-leaning Bay Aryans, you are feeling my red state wrath being broadcast loud and proud from under one gigahertz of processor speed.

I'm not one for people-watching, normally, as I was an engineer at Berkeley and not one of those fruity, touchy-feely liberal arts types who liked to sit on the steps of Sproul Hall and look at people. Yeah, I was busy scarfing down my janky Chinese food from Euclid Ave between classes.

Anycrap, I'm here, and it's not so much people-watching as it is people-watching's politically incorrect and sexually charged cousin "checking-out-women-in-tight-jeans". Well, not-so-tight-jeans too, I suppose. There are these two chicks right in front of me eating Auntie Anne's pretzels, the one on the right is kinda cute as her hair is tied back, but not too tight and she's wearing a blue turtleneck sweater that looks itchy. Miss, might I scratch your chest?

and now orquiza's IMming me... hold on

oh, pretzel chick is leaving. her butt wasn't as nice as i thought

I don't like assloads of people @ the mall right now. They're just wandering around--

OK metrosexual in a pink shirt, black pants, and a stylish buckle. And now there's an old chick in a pink sweatsuit, no camel toe. Cute hipster/librarian chick in brown skirt, she needs a spanking. Yay, asians.

The problem with all of these people is that they are for the most part, shopping like women, la-di-da-ing around and just not moving fast enough for my shit.

Hey, nice butt.

whoa, hot mexi-chicks coming out of the apple store. They looked very high maintenance and expensive.

white chick with nice boobs. Asian chick with somewhat of a camel toe. (OK, we're gonna forego the post and just see what Tio Jaime notices here in lovely upper-middle class Silicon Valley. Fuck you hippies.) Turning down the brightness on Emily. Lots of grumpy looking Asians, present blogger not excluded. Whoa, hipster teenagers, one with huge boobs in a green tank top. Muslims, the one on the right is kinda cute. White chick with boots under her jeans, has a hook nose. Old chick with wrinkles. Green tank top coming out of the apple store...

Yay. Gangsters. Little type 2 hapa child with her asian dad and cute white mom. Mom looked kinda like Blake Lindsley (look her up, not sure on spelling). Apple iTunes Music Store beckoning me to buy shit right now. Yay, hipsters. Didn't know they wore pastel though. Grumpy looking disshevelled white woman. Indian chicks. (sorry, *old* indian chicks). Upper middle class white chicks. Jewish chicks (had some jewish writing on her messenger pack).

Is that bad that I know what a messenger pack is?

Well, now that foot traffic has slowed somewhat, Too Many Damned People.

Ooh, hot white chick wearing pink and black. Teenager in nice tight t-shirt. Soccer mom wearing green turtleneck and a green scarf. Sorry, both were lime green. She kinda looked like lawyer lady. White mom and her little slut of a daughter wearing a belly shirt. Mom wasn't too bad. Mexican family, cute daughter around 16.

My superintendent said he was going to Mexico to see his family, I told him to bring me back a wife. He said, "I can get you fourteen year olds!" I said, "Gus, that's illegal."

Funky asian grandmother wearing pink/black sweatsuit.

Ooh, irritable white chick in black tank top and tight black pants. Asian dude wearing a Burberry scarf who looked like an asian chick wearing a burberry scarf. I have the frightening feeling that I'm the only engineer in my office who knows what Burberry is.

Whoa, hot indian chick in semi-tight jeans and a green kint turtleneck. Knit.

Chick in Loyola University Chicago hoodie. Slutty nicole richie looking white chicks, probalby 17.

I think the prevailing thought among maybe 70-80% of the people here is "Fuck I don't want--

holy shit, hot chick in pink knit shirt, the kind that's falling off her shoulders...

-- to go to work tomorrow." And there's some of the "God I can't wait for work tomorrow--

here's pinky again... she looks lost

-- because that was a lot of family I just digested this weekend." I'm of the no work school of thought. My sister is leaving on Wednesday, so I'll probably stay over in san jose on monday night. gotta go back to oakland tonight and get my work truck.

Those new G5 iMacs look fucking hot dude. I'm afraid with Emily's recent shitfit, that I may be due for a new computer soon. While this is usually cause for celebration, I'm somewhat lacking in the money department, so this isn't a good idea.

SixH is gonna be pissed that I'm blogging here in my free time and not returning his call from when I was at Mass. Well, if he comes online I'll post the chat thread. At mass today i saw those two-and-now-three sisters that are hot, white and brunette. Oh, and Catholic. Unfortunately, they're my brother's age. Gus, that's illegal.

Ooh, white chick who is walking like she knows exactly where she wants to go and is pissed at all of the slow walkers. Do the Dew, momma! I still have a bit of shopping to do, but not really here @ Valleyfair Mall. I have to buy for my friends, except for Mitch, Karim, and Makiko. Makiko's turkey was purchased in the beginning of the Cal football season, Karim will be getting a USB massage ball, and Mitch's present can interestingly enough also be given to Chenelle's daughter Victoria, who may have just recently celebrated her second birthday.

Hmm, couldn't tell if that cute brunette was pregnant or just a bit chubby.

Mitch will be receiving a spongebob squarepants talking alarm clock. I decided to go the mitch route and not the victoria route because Victoria really doesn't need to be any place at specific times. While attempting to cultivate this notion of punctuality in mitch is an exercise in futility ***shit just lost a few minutes of would-be post gold when iChat crashed taking orquiza's window with it*** Mitch still might be able to glean not only Spongebob usefulness out of the clock, but some notion of "HFS the guys are waiting for me right this second i really should start to get ready."

haileybacon = orquiza
poke00210 = me

4:13 PM
poke00210: shitty emily
poke00210: i should take her to the genius bar
poke00210: but what the fuck are they gonna tell me to do? everything that i've done so far
4:15 PM
haileybacon: haha
haileybacon: dude
haileybacon: come over tonight
haileybacon: we'll fix it from scratch
haileybacon: ive nothing else to do tonight anyway
haileybacon: i have airport, the works
haileybacon: this is the genius bar
haileybacon: and...we have pancit
haileybacon: they dont have that in the apple store, do they
poke00210: gotta go back to oakland tonight
poke00210: no pancit, unfortunately
poke00210: although if they did, it'd be shitty, most likely
haileybacon: but youre in the south bay working this week, right?
poke00210: and these little fuckers who just recently jumped on the pancit bandwagon would be trying to sell me on pancit, never mind that i was eating pancit when they were still following the chow mein crowd like the rest of these sheeple Bay Aryans
poke00210: dumb bastards
haileybacon: haha
poke00210: whoa, she looked like my ex from Seattle, only skinnier
haileybacon: hot
poke00210: yep
haileybacon: youre gonna be in the south bay this week working, though, right?
haileybacon: seriously man
poke00210: ooh, mexican/persian in brown
haileybacon: skip a day of commuting and just crash at casa orquiza
poke00210: not sure what she is, pick 'em
haileybacon: my folks like ya anyway
haileybacon: yum
haileybacon: i wanna go persian again
poke00210: grumpy white chicks with big noses
poke00210: hapa looking chick in nice ribbed aqua shirt
poke00210: big boobs
haileybacon: im in the wrong place
poke00210: looks like pepper the stripper
poke00210: cute 15 year old
haileybacon: see, we should be fixing your PB in front of the apple store and checking chicks out as they walk by
poke00210: she was checking out my Tibook
poke00210: yeah dude
poke00210: you gonna be around all of tomorrow?
haileybacon: yeah
haileybacon: im submitting harvard and yale apps online all day tomorrow
poke00210: lemme give you a call when i'm @ work so we can figure out when we can meet up
haileybacon: and recovering from teh holidays
haileybacon: just drop by in the afternoon, seriously
poke00210: ooh, 16 year old chick with too much makeup
haileybacon: im here all day tomorrow
poke00210: chicks in sweatpants
haileybacon: pack a night bag
4:20 PM
haileybacon: and we'll fix your mac and watch MNF
poke00210: actually, i'll probably stay w/my folks tomorrow, my sister's last night in town before she goes back to santa monica
haileybacon: ill make buffalo wings
haileybacon: ooh sister
poke00210: pale japanese chick
haileybacon: k well tuesday works, too
haileybacon: the only plans i have for the week i believe or to watch the holiday bowl with elizabeth and keeper nate
haileybacon: and shereen i think, too
haileybacon: youre welcomed to come if youd like
haileybacon: oh, titia wong, too
poke00210: where you guys going? not sure but i may have plans already
haileybacon: watching it at shereen's apartment in petaluma
poke00210: ahh
poke00210: old guy with bichon frise in a pink hoodie
poke00210: dog in hoodie, not the guy
haileybacon: haha
poke00210: yeah, lemme call you tomorrow
haileybacon: youre outside or in the courtyard?
poke00210: just right outside the store at the leather couches
haileybacon: ah yes
poke00210: good shit, dude
poke00210: Whoa, surfer/sk8er boi
haileybacon: asian?
haileybacon: there are asian varieties of those now
poke00210: oh that one has a squaw valley jacket, he's a boarder
poke00210: all white
poke00210: whoa, a fourth came and joined them
poke00210: goofy looking white guys
poke00210: Ok dude, i'm going into the apple store, gonna talk to the genius bar, maybe
poke00210: dumb assholes
4:25 PM
haileybacon: haha
haileybacon: aiight lates
haileybacon: tell them to stop being so creepy

OK time to go mom's here

all my love,
Tio Jaime