HFS I almost missed it!

PREVIOUSLY ON THE SHoP... Another Wonderful Opportunity for SHoPpers across These Fruited Plains to BLATANTLY IGNORE Their Tio Jaime's Advice Eastmost Peninsula is the Secret THE FOLLOWING TAKES PLACE BETWEEN 3:00 PM AND 4:00 PM. EVENTS OCCUR IN REAL TIME. For some reason, in the back of my mind it had occurred to me a couple of weeks ago that TAR9 is due up soon. The Amazing Race 9 premieres tonight, motherfuckers!!! Should be a good season. And no real way to go but up, what with the family style crap-fest that was TAR8 and the Survivor shark-jumping that was TAR7. They need to get back to the good, old-fashioned gimmicks from the first few TARs. Like the token gays. Token minorities. The omni-present sardine-can train ride through india. You wanna re-live the crapfests? You got it... PREVIOUSLY ON THE SHoP... Ok this show fucking sucks, this doesn't even deserve SHoP billing. i hope your kids murder you with shotguns when they come to grips with how assholey you made them and maybe the little gaghan fucker will die no shit your legs aren't sore, you're fucking worthless that's why you don't let your little demon-children make the fucking decisions when $1,000,000 is at goddam stake and now i'm laughing at carissa gaghan, or he can't speak english, but maybe he speaks the universal language of Selling Your Children Into Slavery Tio Jaime's House of Dumbass would've been cool if Bart had mauled the little Gaghan shits (TJ:A1) g-sisters still fucking around w/a trailer on a highway (TJ:A1) IT PUTS THE LOTION IN THE BASKET OR ELSE IT GETS THE HOSE Congratulations, you have won $1 million THE FOLLOWING TAKES PLACE BETWEEN 3:00 PM AND 4:00 PM. EVENTS OCCUR IN REAL TIME. I must really like you Citizen SHoPpers, despite your repeatedly ignoring my advice. Here you go. Second crapfest starring Boston Rob... PREVIOUSLY ON THE SHoP... 3am Criticism of The Amazing Race 7, season premiere!!! 3am Criticism of The Amazing Race 7, Episode 2 3am Criticism of TAR7.3 (R) 3am Criticism of The Amazing Race 7, Episode 5! (R) Live 3am Criticism of TAR7, Episode 6 Live 3am Criticism of TAR7, episode 8 Live 3am Criticism of TAR7, episode 9 Tape-Delayed 3amC of The Amazing Race 7, episode 10 3am Criticism of The Amazing Race 7, season finale! FUCK YOU BOSTON ROB THE FOLLOWING TAKES PLACE BETWEEN 3:00 PM AND 4:00 PM. EVENTS OCCUR IN REAL TIME. In any case, TAR9 tonight is virtually guaranteed not to suck tonight, since all the suck-ness appears to have been used for numbers 7 and 8. Jihad Jimmy, Minister of War Crimes and Chief Defender of the Faith <update time="2046"> See? Already with the hype! Don't miss it Citizen SHoPpers... he was an annoying fuck and actually humped my arm 8:32 PM TioJaime: the amazing race 9 tonight! TioJaime: can't suck anymore than it did the last two times TioJaime: so it *should* be good tonight! RafterMan: I've met one of those guys RafterMan: he was an annoying fuck and actually humped my arm TioJaime: one of the dudes on TAR? RafterMan: Bj and tyler TioJaime: whoa TioJaime: where was this? RafterMan: I met him once and I hope he loses quickly 8:35 PM RafterMan: one of the freaks from albany TioJaime: oh wonderful RafterMan: yeah, they should be extremely annoying RafterMan: so no gimmicks with this one? TioJaime: oh probably token gay TioJaime: token NY TioJaime: token hot skanks TioJaime: no children, thank God 8:40 PM RafterMan: I just set up my replay to record it RafterMan: awesome TioJaime: should be good... RafterMan: it's been too long since I've watched the amazing race TioJaime: dude, you literally didn't miss a single fucking thing TioJaime: was the last one you saw where everybody called each other "baby? RafterMan: hello danielle and dani RafterMan: yeah TioJaime: yeah RafterMan: with chip and kim TioJaime: you missed Boston Rob TioJaime: and some shitty children RafterMan: completely useless kim RafterMan: but I was so happy when chip won TioJaime: you would've liked Uchenna and Joyce RafterMan: that guy deserved it RafterMan: given that his wife was a useless weight TioJaime: also black, but joyce wasn't useless RafterMan: nice TioJaime: she had huevos 8:45 PM TioJaime: OK dude, gotta poop TioJaime: will talk to you soon Come find me at 9pm PST. Will be 3amC-ing the season premiere... </update>