cleaning out the colon!

Good episode. Billie is hot.

Jihad Jimmy, Minister of War Crimes and Chief Defender of the Faith

3am Criticism of FX's Starved, episode 2

You are now in chat room “AIMisOKNot.” TioJaime858 has entered the chat room. TioJaime858 (9:19:43 PM): OK time for Starved! TioJaime858 (9:19:51 PM): especially since OVER * THERE kinda sucked TioJaime858 (9:19:55 PM): well, actually, it was OK TioJaime858 (9:20:13 PM): but in any case, if you're ready for better than OK, here's Starved! TioJaime858 (9:21:01 PM): Ok gotta find it first TioJaime858 (9:21:13 PM): i still have an old episode of IASiP TioJaime858 (9:21:20 PM): or rather, *the* old episode TioJaime858 (9:22:03 PM): oh, maybe i didn't screw it up TioJaime858 (9:22:08 PM): OK here it is TioJaime858 (9:22:17 PM): Starved, episode 2! TioJaime858 (9:22:29 PM): followed by IASiP TioJaime858 (9:22:48 PM): heh shallow hal TioJaime858 (9:23:45 PM): all new Starved TioJaime858 (9:23:47 PM): Next! TioJaime858 (9:23:52 PM): hurry the fuck up already TioJaime858 (9:23:57 PM): yeah yeah yeah behold the v-chip TioJaime858 (9:24:16 PM): TV MA LS TioJaime858 (9:24:19 PM): ooh yeah TioJaime858 (9:24:23 PM): Previously on Starved TioJaime858 (9:24:33 PM): lemme rewind that TioJaime858 (9:24:51 PM): Sam... compulsive eater, anorexic TioJaime858 (9:25:10 PM): Billie, anorexic/bulemic TioJaime858 (9:25:32 PM): Adam, bulemic TioJaime858 (9:25:36 PM): Dan, obsessive overeater TioJaime858 (9:25:41 PM): that took a while TioJaime858 (9:25:45 PM): had to keep rewinding TioJaime858 (9:25:52 PM): heh accidentally drop your mu shu pork TioJaime858 (9:26:08 PM): Belt Tighteners! TioJaime858 (9:26:24 PM): yeah this is a huge recap for a short 30-min episode TioJaime858 (9:26:30 PM): "if you were a dog, i'd kick you in the face" TioJaime858 (9:26:41 PM): ooh football lon Fox Sports Net TioJaime858 (9:26:44 PM): "do you guys leak" TioJaime858 (9:26:46 PM): heh TioJaime858 (9:26:52 PM): yeah TioJaime858 (9:27:17 PM): huh? TioJaime858 (9:27:36 PM): sphincter valve tightening TioJaime858 (9:27:38 PM): heh TioJaime858 (9:27:45 PM): LOL TioJaime858 (9:27:48 PM): three fingers! TioJaime858 (9:28:00 PM): Let a woman finger-ass rape me TioJaime858 (9:28:20 PM): butt-slamming versus pooping and orgasming TioJaime858 (9:28:25 PM): heh TioJaime858 (9:28:33 PM): i've laughed already like 5 times already TioJaime858 (9:28:37 PM): "rationalized gay sex" TioJaime858 (9:28:47 PM): IT'S NOT OK TioJaime858 (9:29:09 PM): back TioJaime858 (9:29:22 PM): ooh hi stella TioJaime858 (9:30:14 PM): ooh yeah stella TioJaime858 (9:30:32 PM): whoa TioJaime858 (9:30:40 PM): they're shocking him TioJaime858 (9:30:47 PM): LOL TioJaime858 (9:31:18 PM): ooh Billie! TioJaime858 (9:31:20 PM): i like Billie TioJaime858 (9:31:22 PM): she's hot TioJaime858 (9:31:45 PM): ooh Billie TioJaime858 (9:32:11 PM): ooh Mistress Ella's Dungeon TioJaime858 (9:32:25 PM): gay black cop working out TioJaime858 (9:32:38 PM): ooh dominatrix time? TioJaime858 (9:32:44 PM): whoa TioJaime858 (9:32:50 PM): ooh mistress ella TioJaime858 (9:33:11 PM): ooh want some information TioJaime858 (9:33:41 PM): whoa TioJaime858 (9:34:06 PM): wow i'd like to write a book about dominatrices TioJaime858 (9:34:17 PM): one of our best submissives! TioJaime858 (9:35:36 PM): stella TioJaime858 (9:35:38 PM): la la la TioJaime858 (9:35:47 PM): cop dude throwing up TioJaime858 (9:36:00 PM): heh they're doing it on a date now TioJaime858 (9:36:04 PM): WTF? TioJaime858 (9:36:06 PM): that's sick TioJaime858 (9:36:34 PM): ooh Billie TioJaime858 (9:36:55 PM): ooh Billie TioJaime858 (9:37:13 PM): cock-cake! TioJaime858 (9:37:25 PM): heh conservative gays TioJaime858 (9:37:30 PM): commercial TioJaime858 (9:38:37 PM): ooh Billie TioJaime858 (9:39:03 PM): her daddy and poppa TioJaime858 (9:39:05 PM): yay! TioJaime858 (9:39:12 PM): ooh Billie TioJaime858 (9:39:45 PM): dan's wife is horny TioJaime858 (9:39:57 PM): "i'm watching the game, do not bother me again" TioJaime858 (9:40:11 PM): huh? TioJaime858 (9:40:27 PM): ooh TioJaime858 (9:40:48 PM): mean, bitchy, needy wife TioJaime858 (9:41:13 PM): heh TioJaime858 (9:41:19 PM): cleaning out the colon! TioJaime858 (9:41:51 PM): heh clogging food TioJaime858 (9:42:03 PM): eating the chocolate cake TioJaime858 (9:42:16 PM): i had some good chocolate cake today TioJaime858 (9:42:31 PM): oh oh oh, he's clogging himself TioJaime858 (9:42:52 PM): ooh yeah TioJaime858 (9:43:07 PM): heh looks like a lot of chocolate cake TioJaime858 (9:43:24 PM): "i really like you" TioJaime858 (9:43:48 PM): "i've gotten less than a special massage girl" TioJaime858 (9:43:56 PM): "the only thing you don't give is a handjob" TioJaime858 (9:44:19 PM): his ass is geysering TioJaime858 (9:44:34 PM): and they're Blue Danubing TioJaime858 (9:45:02 PM): God what a good show TioJaime858 (9:45:34 PM): ooh watching football w/the submissive TioJaime858 (9:45:53 PM): too bad they blew their wad in the previews TioJaime858 (9:46:01 PM): although it was still a good scene TioJaime858 (9:46:11 PM): ooh Billie TioJaime858 (9:46:49 PM): i want some scotch TioJaime858 (9:46:53 PM): or to make out w/billie TioJaime858 (9:47:02 PM): some chocolate cake would be nice TioJaime858 (9:47:10 PM): and i like how they keep plugging Fox shit TioJaime858 (9:47:23 PM): Stay chuned for scenes from the next Starved TioJaime858 (9:47:53 PM): ooh hot Gap chicks and iTunes TioJaime858 (9:48:22 PM): "i'll be her today, i'll start throwing up again" TioJaime858 (9:48:25 PM): good show TioJaime858 has left the chat room.

red is positive and black is negative

Tripleheader again for you. Was helping gun-toting neighbor with math the whole week, so i had to tape my shows again. This episode of Over * There kinda sucked, but it had dead terrorists. And Mrs. B. Best advice? Stay chuned for Starved.

Saved these as drafts last night because i was too tired to fix them up. OK. I was drinking too, so that's why i was tired.

Jihad Jimmy, Minister of War Crimes and Chief Defender of the Faith

3am Criticism of OVER * DERE THERE, episode 2

You are now in chat room “AIMBitesMyCrank.” TioJaime858 has entered the chat room. TioJaime858 (7:50:46 PM): hello dere TioJaime858 (7:50:53 PM): gonna poop TioJaime858 (7:51:03 PM): then gonna have the 3am Criticismi of OVER * THERE TioJaime858 (7:51:10 PM): complete with stupid theme song! TioJaime858 (7:51:14 PM): yay! TioJaime858 (7:51:18 PM): brb TioJaime858 (8:11:16 PM): OK TioJaime858 (8:11:25 PM): back TioJaime858 (8:12:02 PM): rewinded the tape TioJaime858 (8:12:20 PM): poured the GDF TioJaime858 (8:13:05 PM): actually it's a Get Jimmy Fast TioJaime858 (8:13:07 PM): GJF TioJaime858 (8:13:08 PM): eh TioJaime858 (8:13:26 PM): i forgot what the name was... had a cooler name than the GJF TioJaime858 (8:14:44 PM): got the last few minutes of Basic TioJaime858 (8:14:56 PM): because FX sucks my butt TioJaime858 (8:15:32 PM): tv ma lsv TioJaime858 (8:15:55 PM): terrorist shooting at the roadblock TioJaime858 (8:16:07 PM): ooh yeah back to his unit TioJaime858 (8:16:14 PM): yeah take that terrorist TioJaime858 (8:16:40 PM): driving and shit in iraq TioJaime858 (8:16:47 PM): probably wan't filmed in iraq TioJaime858 (8:16:53 PM): probably the mojave or something TioJaime858 (8:16:56 PM): maybe arizona TioJaime858 (8:16:57 PM): utah TioJaime858 (8:17:16 PM): "muslims don't have holy water" TioJaime858 (8:17:26 PM): Ahab the Arab TioJaime858 (8:17:41 PM): "sand-nigger!" TioJaime858 (8:18:16 PM): ooh they gots the prisoner from Barak! TioJaime858 (8:18:52 PM): bringing out the prisoner TioJaime858 (8:19:38 PM): big bad dude just shot up the humvee TioJaime858 (8:19:41 PM): OVER * THERE TioJaime858 (8:20:31 PM): "geneva convention" TioJaime858 (8:21:17 PM): "this is my town. understand?" TioJaime858 (8:21:36 PM): great. what a wonderful storyline TioJaime858 (8:21:43 PM): ooh he's a spooky ghost TioJaime858 (8:22:31 PM): OK and now cut back to football TioJaime858 (8:22:44 PM): wonderful episode thus far TioJaime858 (8:23:14 PM): ooh hello nurse TioJaime858 (8:24:12 PM): oh yeah whatever TioJaime858 (8:24:25 PM): yeah yeah yeah we're treating prisoners bad blah blah blah TioJaime858 (8:24:28 PM): you stupid fuckwad TioJaime858 (8:24:55 PM): oh just torture him already TioJaime858 (8:25:11 PM): ooh Mrs. B TioJaime858 (8:25:40 PM): heh TioJaime858 (8:26:03 PM): and why do i want to make out w/Mrs. B? TioJaime858 (8:26:37 PM): wow you wacky muslim TioJaime858 (8:27:03 PM): i don't like Dim TioJaime858 (8:27:10 PM): la la la, went to Cornell TioJaime858 (8:27:15 PM): he's the show's conscience TioJaime858 (8:27:18 PM): what a crock of shit TioJaime858 (8:27:50 PM): should've just war crimed him TioJaime858 (8:28:01 PM): shoot a finger off TioJaime858 (8:28:27 PM): yeah see what happens you stupid pacifist fuckwad? TioJaime858 (8:28:39 PM): commercial TioJaime858 (8:28:54 PM): fast forwarded TioJaime858 (8:28:55 PM): back TioJaime858 (8:29:52 PM): take the threat of death off the table TioJaime858 (8:31:22 PM): and the redhead slut mom is gone TioJaime858 (8:32:39 PM): and he's going to school TioJaime858 (8:32:44 PM): wonderful episode TioJaime858 (8:32:54 PM): can't wait for Starved TioJaime858 (8:33:01 PM): slut-mom! TioJaime858 (8:33:12 PM): redhead slut-mom kleavage TioJaime858 (8:34:10 PM): heh TioJaime858 (8:34:15 PM): red is positive and black is negative TioJaime858 (8:34:26 PM): what kind of stupid question is that, of course it'll save an american ass TioJaime858 (8:36:24 PM): blah blah blah TioJaime858 (8:36:29 PM): heh take that terrorist TioJaime858 (8:36:47 PM): "that was a conversation, brother" TioJaime858 (8:38:13 PM): yeah nice job kid TioJaime858 (8:39:08 PM): commercial TioJaime858 (8:41:51 PM): downloading D&M from today and yesterday TioJaime858 (8:43:21 PM): oh we're back TioJaime858 (8:43:25 PM): yay Mrs. B TioJaime858 (8:43:33 PM): theyshould have topless flashbacks of her TioJaime858 (8:43:38 PM): oh great, Dim TioJaime858 (8:44:07 PM): "i'm trying to make it look like he's winning" TioJaime858 (8:45:35 PM): blah blah abu grhaib TioJaime858 (8:46:23 PM): blah blah blah college boy TioJaime858 (8:47:40 PM): fuck i hate terrorists TioJaime858 (8:48:04 PM): brokne glass down the hback of my shirt but i'm good TioJaime858 (8:48:07 PM): ooh Mrs. B TioJaime858 (8:48:37 PM): FUCK YOU TERRORISTS TioJaime858 (8:48:41 PM): I MEAN TERRORIST TioJaime858 (8:49:15 PM): wow that was ballsy TioJaime858 (8:49:18 PM): FUCK YOU TERRORIST TioJaime858 (8:50:03 PM): "the prisoner seems to have bumped his head" TioJaime858 (8:50:39 PM): oh they're calling in f-16 support TioJaime858 (8:51:11 PM): yay waiting for their first husband TioJaime858 (8:51:14 PM): ooh hot wives and shit TioJaime858 (8:52:11 PM): yay for social justice TioJaime858 (8:53:20 PM): sergio dude TioJaime858 (8:53:31 PM): ooh hot army wife milf TioJaime858 (8:53:36 PM): awilf TioJaime858 (8:53:49 PM): nice job soldier TioJaime858 (8:53:52 PM): "i'm an ass" TioJaime858 (8:56:08 PM): FUCK YOU TERRORIST TioJaime858 (8:56:39 PM): waaa there's only two of them left TioJaime858 (8:56:43 PM): you suck Dim TioJaime858 (8:57:49 PM): yeah fuck you slim jim commercial TioJaime858 (8:58:04 PM): back TioJaime858 (8:58:43 PM): heh dude was a colonel TioJaime858 (9:01:22 PM): ooh 15-year-old terrorist sister TioJaime858 (9:01:48 PM): STFU Dim TioJaime858 (9:01:51 PM): WTF do you know? TioJaime858 (9:02:45 PM): stingers are on a farm TioJaime858 (9:02:50 PM): farmer doesn't know what they are TioJaime858 (9:03:01 PM): he's lying TioJaime858 (9:03:05 PM): kill him TioJaime858 (9:03:34 PM): show the sister again TioJaime858 (9:03:37 PM): ooh yeah momma TioJaime858 (9:04:07 PM): oh yay it's the shitty theme song again TioJaime858 (9:04:11 PM): ooh there's the farm TioJaime858 (9:04:18 PM): shoot that shit up TioJaime858 (9:04:39 PM): fucking terrorists shouldn't put their own civilians in harms way TioJaime858 (9:05:16 PM): WTF? TioJaime858 (9:05:23 PM): iraqi goat! TioJaime858 (9:05:31 PM): some indian dude w/a rifle TioJaime858 (9:05:39 PM): oh maybe he's not indian TioJaime858 (9:05:56 PM): OK they have the missiles TioJaime858 (9:05:59 PM): shoot that shit up TioJaime858 (9:06:14 PM): ooh yeah TioJaime858 (9:06:25 PM): FUCK YOU TERRORISTS! TioJaime858 (9:06:36 PM): yeah whatever, FX, try to guilt us and shit TioJaime858 (9:06:39 PM): they deserved it TioJaime858 (9:06:55 PM): commercial TioJaime858 (9:06:59 PM): ooh sa spalsh of club soda TioJaime858 (9:07:28 PM): Stay chuned for scenes from our next episode TioJaime858 (9:07:36 PM): Next Wednes-dee on Over There TioJaime858 (9:07:46 PM): yeah mom-slut TioJaime858 (9:07:49 PM): ooh Mrs. B TioJaime858 (9:08:04 PM): OK that episode kinda sucked TioJaime858 (9:08:10 PM): but it had Mrs. B TioJaime858 (9:08:22 PM): and also killing terrorists! TioJaime858 has left the chat room.

SixHertz House of Sport!

Trojans Eclipse Cal, Pac-10 in Early Poll

Got this from the most recent Daily Cal. Not sure why I've experienced a renewed interest in what I'd read whist partaking in my morning ritual in O'Brien Hall, but every once in a while they'll have something good to read. And I'm not even talking about the Sex on Tuesday column...

well hello Mr. Fancypants...

Though no longer the rags-to-riches story of recent years, the Cal football team is still a formidable force in the Pac-10 conference. A force albeit overshadowed by the gridiron juggernaut that is U$C. The Bears are slated to finish second in the Pac-10, according to a poll released Tuesday at the conference’s annual media day at the Sheraton Gateway in Los Angeles, finishing well behind the two-time defending national champions Trojans. U$C was unanimously predicted to take the title by the 41 media representatives polled. Following its final No. 9 ranking last season, Cal again finds itself in the top 25 of several preseason polls, including a No. 20 spot in the USA Today poll. However, despite the relatively high ranking for the Bears, the race for second place in the conference should prove to be a close one. The media day poll placed Arizona State and Oregon at third and fourth, respectively.

***snorts*** A couple of jimmy-points...

1) This dumb kid writing for the Daily Crap! To me and my Golden Bear contemporaries, Cal will always be a "rags-to-riches" story! And you know what, you stupid kids who get free football tickets? It's only a matter of time before we're the rags-to-riches-back-to-rags story of tomorrow. Eff you, you little shits. I got three words for you: TOM. HOL. MOE.

2) Oh. We finished ranked #9 last year? Why-ever could that be? Could it be because WE TOOK A GIANT SHIT ON OURSELVES AT THE HOLIDAY BOWL IN FRONT OF THOUSANDS OF CAL FANS WHO WERE COMPLAINING WE WEREN'T SELECTED FOR THE ROSE BOWL???

Enough for now. Let's take a trip across the bay bridge to our beloved SBC Park and also KNBR headquarters right up the street from The Gold Club.

KNBR makes the call: Krueger is fired Program director and morning-show producer also let go

Giants manager Felipe Alou refused to accept an apology from Krueger. Alou appeared on ESPN's "Outside the Lines" program Monday night and called Krueger "this messenger of Satan, as I call this guy now. ... And I believe there is no forgiveness for Satan." On Tuesday morning, KNBR aired Alou's sound bite from "Outside the Lines" and then parodied it with Satan references from the Comedy Central show "South Park." That apparently was the impetus for Rhein's dismissal -- and might have had something to do with the termination of Agnew, who had been with KNBR since 1989. "The segment, featuring inappropriate comedy sound bites," Salvadore wrote in the statement, "demonstrated an utter lack of regard for the sensitivity of the issues involved and a premeditated intent to ridicule Felipe Alou's commentary." On his Tuesday night KRON (Channel 4) sportscast, Gary Radnich, the midmorning host on KNBR, said Giants executive vice president Larry Baer and the team were not behind the decision to remove Krueger, Agnew and Rhein.

Yeah, whatever. What a huge stink about something stupid a deejay said on the air [update date="20050810" time="1531" reason="i'm a tard"]when really only early morning commute people who can understand the humor would have heard him say it.[/update] This is a joke that everybody has blown it up into something this big.

Again, some more jimmy-points!

1) Is anybody else ballsy enough to point out that had we not been hitting like dogshit, radio show hosts wouldn't be tempted to say things like that? Poor choice of words, yes, but all too accurate. And true, while non-hispanic players like Ray Durham and Michael Tucker aren't exactly putting up great numbers either, I'm still more angered by the whole 15 games below .500 than this racial dust-up.

2) Speaking of dust. Got an e-mail forward from an office giants fan from the office dodgers fan...

input from the friendly confines of chavez ravine

Or did you Giant fans forget when your ex-manager Dusty Baker said that "Black players play better in the heat than white players because that's why we brought them over here on slave ships"? In that case the statement was clearly racist and made by an individual who will determine the outcome of a game (in other words, when the temperature reaches 90 degrees, Dusty goes with his all black lineup regardless of what anyone's batting average is). But of course there wasn't a peep from the liberal established press.

I did forget that, didn't I?

3) Back to the Chronicle's article... so radio personalities playing sound effects from South Park is going over the line, but an old senile Cream-of-Wheat-minded manager can call somebody Satan and that's OK? KNBR hires radio guys to do radio. Just shut up and let them do their jobs. And Felipe? Go back into the dugout and take a nap. Stick to the game at hand, skipper. "Hundreds of millions" of people were offended? Umm, I don't think there are hundreds of millions of Giants fans, let alone that many who were offended by the comment. And even worse that the quote might've been "hundreds of millions of Caribbeans" since a quick educated guess leads me to believe that there aren't that many of you wacky foreigners down there.

4) And finally, you wacky Giants players who felt the need to chime in after the team provided you with enough background information to handle the press and all that good shit? Hey, maybe you should concentrate on this baseball thing we're paying you for. Just an idea. And, Omar Vizquel, this is nothing like John Rocker in Sports Illustrated. Read it. That was said by Rocker to shock and offend. Krueger was just pissed that the G-men are sucking worse than Willy Wonka.

On a lighter note, it's surprising that this is happening in San Francisco, given the diversity of the Bay Area. On the other hand, this isn't surprising that this is happening in San Francisco, given the two-faced lies that is the American Left.

(liberal anti-semitism, liberal disdain for minorities, liberal hobbling of aforementioned minorities with affirmative action and welfare. in case you're new to the SHoP.)

Jihad Jimmy, Commissioner
SHoP Department of Recreational Sports (Non-nude)

Darwin Award

This guy should get at least honorable mention for what he did.

Link here:
S. Korean man dies after 50 hours of computer games

The game he played to death (StarCraft) was one in which I played a lot when I was still in college. I can still remember telling my roommate after the conclusion of a game, "Let's play again. I wanna perfect my build order so I can rush faster."

Ahh, the memories come flooding back.

Tio Jaime and MwHCock, when we play again we should invite Lincoln so I can call myself Spaceman_Stiff. I'm sure he would love that.

Time to put your theory to the test, you bastard communist pig.

CNN.com - Chavez: U.S. will 'bite the dust' if it invades - Aug 9, 2005

Yet another foreign political leader to make my shit list. What the hell kind of politician is this? Nice tact, you moron.

"If someday they get the crazy idea of coming to invade us, we'll make them bite the dust defending the freedom of our land," Chavez said to applause.

He spoke during the opening ceremony of a world youth festival bringing together student delegations from across the world and convened under the slogan "Against Imperialism and War."

Chavez called the United States the "most savage, cruel and murderous empire that has existed in the history of the world."

The Venezuelan leader said "socialism is the only path," and told the students the collective goal is to "save a world threatened by the voracity of U.S. imperialism."

I could take the time to mount a coherent argument about everything this guy said, but instead, I'll just call him an asshole and say that he looks like the huge smelly turd I left in the john this morning. I'm tired of these idiots.

Update: Apparently the Catholic Church sees it my way. Man, I love this guy.

A Rude Awakening

Was talking with Tio Jaime this morning. Seems that he was running a bit behind schedule, as he's had a late night. I, too, had stayed up past my bedtime (playing Xbox games and such). I would have suffered the same fate as my fellow liberalophobic friend here, had it not been for not one but two loud booms that occurred around 5 in the morning, local time. 'Course, I have my multiple alarms normally set between 4:45 and 5:20 in the AM, hoping that at least one would finally get my groggy self out of bed in time for work. So I naturally attributed the aberrant sound to one of them.

Later I come to find out that the bangs actually originated from the space shuttle Discovery as it re-entered Earth's atmosphere and subsequently landed in Edwards Air Force Base near Mojave, CA. I live in Palmdale which is a mere hop, skip and apparently sonic boom away from Mojave.

So yeah, that was fun. One of my colleagues said she felt her house shake. But all joking aside, I congratulate the whole NASA space shuttle team for the hard work they put into making the STS-114 mission a shining success!

wow they could've cast somebody younger and hotter for Sweet Dee

Not sure how this escaped everybody-- maybe this is a new innovation I totally missed, or some stupid attempt at emulating TBS-- but FX's two new shows started and ended at times when two new 30-minute shows shouldn't. "Starved" lasted 35 minutes. Great. So "It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia" ended 5 minutes after all of America had their VCRs or Tivos running. Thanks retards. You're lucky that Starved is a quality show.

Jihad Jimmy, Minister of War Crimes and Chief Defender of the Faith

the ending of It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia because FX is a bunch of tards who can't program a network correctly

You are now in chat room “FXisGay.” TioJaime858 has entered the chat room. TioJaime858 (10:56:18 PM): hello dere TioJaime858 (10:56:27 PM): OK so it's mon-dee night TioJaime858 (10:56:58 PM): and i'm watching a replay of Starved TioJaime858 (10:57:07 PM): and in a few minutes, It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia TioJaime858 (10:57:26 PM): but wonderful FX, they don't seem to have start times synced w/THE REST OF AMERICA TioJaime858 (10:57:28 PM): pigfuckers TioJaime858 (10:57:47 PM): so really, TioJaime858 (10:58:04 PM): i'm just waiting for what could be the last few minutes of IASiP TioJaime858 (10:59:20 PM): ooh that chick was cute TioJaime858 (10:59:25 PM): kinda had crow's feet TioJaime858 (10:59:36 PM): but thus is the nature of jimmy-women sometimes TioJaime858 (10:59:59 PM): ooh yeah cute anorexic chick TioJaime858 (11:00:12 PM): i like the black cop TioJaime858 (11:00:39 PM): i'm gonna fold laundry, but i'll have IASiP in the background TioJaime858 (11:00:46 PM): i'll talk to you periodically throughout TioJaime858 (11:01:34 PM): i want some chocolate cake right now TioJaime858 (11:01:56 PM): ooh i have iced tea in the fridge, brb TioJaime858 (11:02:18 PM): oh wonderful, STARVED the episode is done now and it's alreayd 2 past TioJaime858 (11:02:20 PM): fuck you FX TioJaime858 (11:03:26 PM): yeah 30 mins my flaccid cock TioJaime858 (11:05:39 PM): try to be cool TioJaime858 (11:05:49 PM): OK the show started 5 minutes late TioJaime858 (11:05:52 PM): wonderful TioJaime858 (11:06:12 PM): they're closing up the bar at 12:45? TioJaime858 (11:07:02 PM): might5've been better if two of these guys didn't look virtually identical TioJaime858 (11:07:18 PM): could've traded one of the bearded, scruffy white dudes for a brunette, perhaps? TioJaime858 (11:09:37 PM): oh his sister TioJaime858 (11:09:53 PM): i like how black people can talk white TioJaime858 (11:10:05 PM): and the cool thing, they can turn it on and off too TioJaime858 (11:13:40 PM): oh she's janelle TioJaime858 (11:14:00 PM): heh he threw the number away TioJaime858 (11:14:01 PM): again TioJaime858 (11:15:13 PM): "i'll call the black girl" TioJaime858 (11:15:30 PM): Ok this blonde isn't that hot TioJaime858 (11:15:35 PM): she's kinda old looking TioJaime858 (11:17:31 PM): so blue TioJaime858 (11:25:03 PM): oh sorry... it was "i'm not plugging anybody's hole" TioJaime858 (11:26:51 PM): wow they could've cast somebody younger and hotter for Sweet Dee TioJaime858 (11:27:17 PM): wonderful how these two stories tie in together TioJaime858 (11:30:49 PM): crazy bitch who punched me in the eye! TioJaime858 (11:30:58 PM): i mean my sister TioJaime858 (11:31:07 PM): heh TioJaime858 (11:31:14 PM): you people actually are TioJaime858 (11:31:27 PM): OK and that's it? TioJaime858 (11:31:31 PM): i missed a couple of minutes TioJaime858 (11:31:39 PM): ooh cleavage in the cpatain morgan commercial TioJaime858 (11:31:42 PM): kleavage TioJaime858 (11:31:57 PM): ooh hi dental hygienist TioJaime858 (11:34:20 PM): thrilling second episode TioJaime858 (11:34:31 PM): and an abortion rally TioJaime858 (11:34:41 PM): IASIP TioJaime858 (11:34:50 PM): yeah new @ 1030 my ass TioJaime858 (11:34:59 PM): heh $114 on a saturday night TioJaime858 (11:35:16 PM): heh TioJaime858 (11:35:18 PM): i get it TioJaime858 (11:35:39 PM): i was being sarcastic TioJaime858 (11:35:44 PM): i'd like to rescind the heh TioJaime858 (11:36:19 PM): wow and five minutes on the tail-end was enough to catch the two shows slated for a half-hour each TioJaime858 (11:36:23 PM): cheesedicks TioJaime858 has left the chat room.

pre-SHoP Tio Jaime

was googling myself and found this letter i wrote to the Daily Cal in the waning days of my super-senior year.

ASUC Candidates: Desirable Qualifications, Wrong Minority (although I don't remember writing that tagline)

In his letter to the editor, Jim Fung is "troubled that for the second year in a row, no African Americans or Hispanics, apparently, were elected to any of the five executive offices" ("Election Malaise," April 27). He then questions UC Berkeley's "devotion to diversity." Apparently Fung did not pay attention to The Daily Californian's article from several weeks ago that went to great lengths to point out that the Student Action party was running three Asian candidates (Teddy Liaw, Alex Ding and Jen Chang) for the executive positions. Since Student Action went rampant this year, Fung should have made the connection and realized that minorities are in fact represented in the executive offices. But God forbid that we elect the wrong kind of minorities, which according to Jim Fung, we did. It is bad enough that we have to analyze everything on a racial level — BAMN and DAAP, please take note. When we start having divisions within minority status, this alleged "victim" status loses its Slight Joke classification and rapidly becomes a Complete Joke. Would Jim Fung be able to sleep at night if he found out that Nick Papas, external vice president-elect was in reality a Latino, but just didn't make mention of it during his campaign? Would he be able to look at himself in the mirror tomorrow morning knowing full well that Papas was elected because of his qualifications but not because of his ethnicity? Where I come from, we have names for that phenomenon. When someone votes for a candidate or does not vote for a candidate because of his or her ethnicity we call that discrimination. We call that racism. Should I have voted for Priscilla Hernandez just because she is Latina? Of course not. Should the Latino community here at UC Berkeley have voted for Priscilla just because she is Latina? Definitely not. Being the same race as anybody (not just a candidate running for office) does not automatically mean that you will hold the same political views or values. That's completely absurd, and in and of itself, racist. If Jim Fung voted for either Priscilla Hernandez or Evora Griffith simply because of the color of her skin, then he is not only destroying the democratic process here in the make-believe political arena that is the ASUC, but he is also sadly racist. I, like many other UC Berkeley students, voted for the candidates I felt were best qualified for the offices they sought. And I, like many other students, will not apologize for stepping on Fung's notion of diversity in the interest of common sense.

Sounds funny, huh? Can't quite put your finger on exactly why? here's a hint: COCK. BALLS.

See? Makes a world of difference when I'm the Good Cop, huh? I pledge to you, Citizen SHoPpers, that never will I post without using bad words or questionable content or morally vapid shock topics. Yeah, I don't really like it either. But maybe if I get hard up for posts, I'll reprint my letters from the Daily Cal.

all my love,
Jihad Jimmy, Minister of War Crimes and Chief Defender of the Faith

hippopotomonstrosesquippedaliophobia

Umm...yeah.

So, someone who has this phobia can't actually say he/she does? Or would they run out of the room once the doctor tells them?

Have a great day!

Ho-hum. Mon-dee.

what with Moby making the SHoP's Short Bus Shortlist for what appears to be an unprecedented two times (here and here), I'm somewhat disconcerted to let you know that the latest two MP3s i've pirated acquired through the proper channels... oh how about the iTunes music store, yeah, that's the ticket... have been Moby. "Porcelain" and "South Side". Yarr.

Zoo music, in my defense.

And gentlemen SHoPpers, I'm sure you can remember at least one song from your first trip to the zoo. For me? Aerosmith's "Cryin'". Ahh, sweet sweet zoo. Makes me miss the evil GF at the time, Lord Volde-megan, who got uber-pissed when i jokingly suggested to SixH that his parents take him to the pink poodle for his 21st b-day. Was talking to a friend this last weekend, mentioned that "I regret that Lord Volde-megan left before I learned how to use the C-word." (heh funny link here too)

i'm too lazy to find which other celebri-turds made the SHoP twice. any suggestions? put 'em in the comments and i'll take a look when i get a second later today.

Dinner w/the cute, gun-toting, Republican neighbor last night. Eat me raw with a flavored straw, did i fall in the Friend Zone again? And she's never gonna read this, so I'll leave this bit in. Like sensitive information leaking through the SHoP into the inner-layers of Tio-Jaime-in-Real-Life has ever really bothered me before? (shit that link was a lot of work)

OK gonna stop here. Just because I don't have blogger.com's composing window open in a browser doesn't mean i'm not blogging right now at work. Gonna make some phone calls. Have a good week, Citizen SHoPper...

Jihad Jimmy, Minister of War Crimes and Chief Defender of the Faith

Old post I found saved as a draft but which I needed for a new post...

I intended to post this back on 02 June, but never got around to it. Wouldn't you know, I wanted to reference this chat today... so here you go, Citizen SHoPper

Tio Jaime

she was a 'tard in the movie.

JihadJimmyMWCCDF (2:37:09 PM): heh JihadJimmyMWCCDF (2:37:13 PM): met some chick online JihadJimmyMWCCDF (2:37:22 PM): but she did her homework and found the blog JihadJimmyMWCCDF (2:37:26 PM): funny e-mail i'llforward you SixHertz (2:38:20 PM): hahahaah SixHertz (2:38:22 PM): send it now JihadJimmyMWCCDF (2:38:27 PM): Ok standby SixHertz (2:38:44 PM): see why you can't associate your name to the blog? SixHertz (2:38:51 PM): it spells trouble. JihadJimmyMWCCDF (2:38:56 PM): OK you think i'm bothered by this JihadJimmyMWCCDF (2:39:25 PM): in reality, a hippie was filtered out thanks to my work on your blog SixHertz (2:39:42 PM): LOL JihadJimmyMWCCDF (2:41:05 PM): OK it's away JihadJimmyMWCCDF (2:41:54 PM): see, i can't have a woman who is so PC that she's unnerved by the use of the acronym C.U.N.T. SixHertz (2:42:02 PM): hahahahahaha SixHertz (2:42:06 PM): too bloody funny SixHertz (2:42:16 PM): who's the chick? Can we do a search for her? JihadJimmyMWCCDF (2:42:42 PM): i have her website, she's kinda cute SixHertz (2:43:06 PM): lemme see JihadJimmyMWCCDF (2:43:18 PM): i'll find you a pic, hold on JihadJimmyMWCCDF wants to send file C:\Documents and Settings\james\Desktop\red2.jpg (2:45:28 PM). SixHertz received C:\Documents and Settings\james\Desktop\red2.jpg (2:45:38 PM). SixHertz (2:47:25 PM): ugh...she looks hippie-tastic. JihadJimmyMWCCDF (2:55:36 PM): welcome to the bay area JihadJimmyMWCCDF (2:55:39 PM): she's kinda cute SixHertz (3:06:24 PM): I just got a phone call from my ISP JihadJimmyMWCCDF (3:06:35 PM): yeah SixHertz (3:06:36 PM): telling me to stop hosting a bittorrent file JihadJimmyMWCCDF (3:06:44 PM): what/s that? SixHertz (3:06:46 PM): Star Wars III SixHertz (3:07:14 PM): I said I wasn't hosting it. That I went to see the movie in the theaters, it sucked, and I wouldn't want to see it again. JihadJimmyMWCCDF (3:07:22 PM): heh yeah SixHertz (3:07:34 PM): Then I checked my files to make sure... SixHertz (3:07:52 PM): and lo and behold it was there. SixHertz (3:07:54 PM): oops. SixHertz (3:07:56 PM): hahah JihadJimmyMWCCDF (3:08:01 PM): how'd that happen? SixHertz (3:08:28 PM): I think I downloaded the bittorrent, and thought I had stopped/cancelled the download. SixHertz (3:08:37 PM): but it kept going in the background. JihadJimmyMWCCDF (3:08:40 PM): oops SixHertz (3:08:43 PM): yeah. SixHertz (3:08:48 PM): well, it's deleted now, anywyas. JihadJimmyMWCCDF (3:08:52 PM): i just want to be molested hard by natalie portman SixHertz (3:09:00 PM): she was a 'tard in the movie. JihadJimmyMWCCDF (3:09:10 PM): yes, but a tard w/boobies and a vagina SixHertz is away at 3:19:04 PM. SixHertz returned at 3:19:55 PM. JihadJimmyMWCCDF (3:49:15 PM): new rant @ the SHoP JihadJimmyMWCCDF (3:49:19 PM): my rants are evolving SixHertz (3:49:30 PM): aye aye JihadJimmyMWCCDF (3:49:36 PM): no longer mad @ the democruds JihadJimmyMWCCDF (3:49:46 PM): more mad at the stupid people who believe the democruds JihadJimmyMWCCDF (3:50:07 PM): God I hate these Little Brains SixHertz (3:50:08 PM): as it should be. JihadJimmyMWCCDF (3:50:24 PM): i'm trying to see their poitn of view, believe me JihadJimmyMWCCDF (3:51:29 PM): if only for myself, I need to know that I'm not following some crock-of-shit lemming argument JihadJimmyMWCCDF (3:52:06 PM): i don't care about the party, i don't care about the troops, i don't care about the iraqis JihadJimmyMWCCDF (3:52:21 PM): I care that I myself haven't bought into something that's bullshit JihadJimmyMWCCDF (3:52:52 PM): and ever since i quickly convinced myself that what we stand for isn't horseshit, then i start caring about the troops JihadJimmyMWCCDF (3:52:59 PM): then i start caring about the wacky iraqis JihadJimmyMWCCDF (3:53:12 PM): then i start caring about the Party and destroying the democrud elements in society SixHertz (4:31:21 PM): http://conagahnim.ytmnd.com/ SixHertz (4:31:25 PM): this is just funny to me. SixHertz (4:31:29 PM): use IE SixHertz (4:31:34 PM): and turn up the sound SixHertz (4:31:58 PM): And try to remember who agahnim is....if you played Zelda a lot, you should. JihadJimmyMWCCDF (4:33:08 PM): which one was agahnim? SixHertz (4:33:18 PM): um... SixHertz (4:33:24 PM): don't remember. JihadJimmyMWCCDF (4:33:27 PM): d'oh

"i don't wanna be plugging any holes"

Not as funny as Starved, but should pick up as the season progresses.

Thanks for playing today, and here's the finale of your Tio Jaime's catching up on TV tripleheader!!!

Jihad Jimmy, Minister of War Crimes and Chief Defender of the Faith

ps- go giants! thanks for not taking a shit on yourselves for two days in a row!

3am Criticism of FX's series premiere of It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia

You are now in chat room “AIMCanGoLickIt.” TioJaime858 has entered the chat room. TioJaime858 (1:49:09 PM): hello dere! TioJaime858 (1:49:34 PM): and we're right on the heels of two 3am Criticisms for the third part of today's tripleheader! TioJaime858 (1:49:40 PM): TV MA LS TioJaime858 (1:49:47 PM): viewer discretion advised TioJaime858 (1:49:59 PM): 12:45 am TioJaime858 (1:50:01 PM): ona thursday TioJaime858 (1:50:06 PM): in philadelphia, PA TioJaime858 (1:50:52 PM): crazy black dude TioJaime858 (1:50:53 PM): ! TioJaime858 (1:51:02 PM): don't have too many brothers walking through here TioJaime858 (1:52:51 PM): sorry had to pause TioJaime858 (1:53:15 PM): "we weren't expecting you to be black" TioJaime858 (1:53:27 PM): It's TioJaime858 (1:53:37 PM): It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia TioJaime858 (1:53:49 PM): why the fuck can't i type today? TioJaime858 (1:54:01 PM): "The Gang Gets Racist" TioJaime858 (1:54:17 PM): this chick isn't as hot as the one in Starved TioJaime858 (1:54:26 PM): commercial TioJaime858 (1:54:29 PM): fast forwarding TioJaime858 (1:54:44 PM): tony sinclair TioJaime858 (1:54:47 PM): but i passed it up TioJaime858 (1:54:48 PM): eh TioJaime858 (1:54:55 PM): back TioJaime858 (1:55:35 PM): when you say "my sistah" TioJaime858 (1:56:57 PM): tore his ass apart TioJaime858 (1:57:03 PM): bro TioJaime858 (1:57:06 PM): asshole TioJaime858 (1:57:43 PM): LOL TioJaime858 (1:57:53 PM): waitress thinks your racist TioJaime858 (1:58:37 PM): they're seeking out balck people TioJaime858 (1:58:49 PM): "absolutely" TioJaime858 (1:59:28 PM): and now they're balck TioJaime858 (1:59:40 PM): "why do these people like you more than they like me" TioJaime858 (1:59:46 PM): "i'm janelle" TioJaime858 (2:00:02 PM): LOL TioJaime858 (2:00:08 PM): he threw the number away TioJaime858 (2:01:19 PM): "i'll call the black girl" TioJaime858 (2:01:21 PM): heh TioJaime858 (2:03:03 PM): LOL TioJaime858 (2:03:08 PM): "we wanted to wait for the cute one" TioJaime858 (2:03:09 PM): LOL TioJaime858 (2:03:16 PM): your cousin by the juke box! TioJaime858 (2:03:24 PM): "oh it's something else" TioJaime858 (2:03:35 PM): "you have the most beautiful eyes" TioJaime858 (2:03:37 PM): "soe blue" TioJaime858 (2:03:39 PM): so TioJaime858 (2:03:40 PM): heh TioJaime858 (2:03:45 PM): heh TioJaime858 (2:04:03 PM): hottest gay bar in philadelphia TioJaime858 (2:04:25 PM): captain morgan commercial! TioJaime858 (2:04:31 PM): reunion? TioJaime858 (2:04:43 PM): heard about that show.... TioJaime858 (2:04:53 PM): "a revolutionary new series" TioJaime858 (2:05:05 PM): hmm, that's never a good sign TioJaime858 (2:05:10 PM): hey cool TioJaime858 (2:05:16 PM): every episode is a new year TioJaime858 (2:05:18 PM): so it's kinda like 24? TioJaime858 (2:05:40 PM): ooh yeah hot chick making out w/the black gay dude TioJaime858 (2:05:47 PM): "i'm not into gay dudes!" TioJaime858 (2:06:30 PM): "i don't wanna be plugging any holes" TioJaime858 (2:07:11 PM): hey hoss TioJaime858 (2:09:16 PM): heh TioJaime858 (2:09:31 PM): Charlie's using you to prove that he's not racist TioJaime858 (2:09:36 PM): and then he asked me out on a date TioJaime858 (2:09:40 PM): LOL TioJaime858 (2:10:06 PM): LOL TioJaime858 (2:10:09 PM): boys are out tonight TioJaime858 (2:10:51 PM): get dennis so drunk tongiht TioJaime858 (2:10:59 PM): heh TioJaime858 (2:11:02 PM): blackout drunk TioJaime858 (2:14:15 PM): heh experiment TioJaime858 (2:14:38 PM): oh WTF TioJaime858 (2:14:40 PM): was it an hour long? TioJaime858 (2:14:44 PM): shit my tape cut out TioJaime858 (2:25:21 PM): hmm TioJaime858 (2:25:26 PM): not sure how i missed a few miute sthere TioJaime858 (2:25:34 PM): i had a minute on each end... TioJaime858 (2:25:39 PM): OK i'll add two then TioJaime858 (2:25:41 PM): fuck you FX TioJaime858 has left the chat room.

"if you were a dog, i'd kick you in the face"

Extremely funny show! I wholly recommend you check out the replay of this premiere before the second episode airs on thurs-dee night. Check out fxnetwork.com to see when it's scheduled...

Jihad Jimmy, Minister of War Crimes and Chief Defender of the Faith

3am Criticism of FX's Starved, series premiere!

You are now in chat room “AIMEatsPoop.” TioJaime858 has entered the chat room. TioJaime858 has left the chat room. TioJaime858 has entered the chat room. TioJaime858 (1:13:36 PM): hello dere? TioJaime858 (1:13:43 PM): yeah it's about effing time TioJaime858 (1:13:45 PM): stupid AIM TioJaime858 (1:14:00 PM): OK, and here comes the series premiere of Starved TioJaime858 (1:14:06 PM): TV MA LS TioJaime858 (1:14:14 PM): aww yeah TioJaime858 (1:14:16 PM): in on the ground floor TioJaime858 (1:14:58 PM): oh he's peeingand now he weighs less? TioJaime858 (1:15:19 PM): ooh yeah TioJaime858 (1:15:29 PM): heh TioJaime858 (1:15:40 PM): faced by the online chick TioJaime858 (1:15:52 PM): OK this is wrong TioJaime858 (1:16:08 PM): he's eating the cake out of the trash TioJaime858 (1:16:16 PM): heh TioJaime858 (1:16:25 PM): i" TioJaime858 (1:16:34 PM): "icing acts as an impenetrable barrier" TioJaime858 (1:16:36 PM): STARVED TioJaime858 (1:16:41 PM): "it's not OK" TioJaime858 (1:17:44 PM): always sunny in philadelphia TioJaime858 (1:17:48 PM): why can't i type today? TioJaime858 (1:18:43 PM): back TioJaime858 (1:19:37 PM): Belt Tighteners TioJaime858 (1:19:52 PM): community of accountability and shame TioJaime858 (1:20:06 PM): LOL TioJaime858 (1:20:17 PM): "it's not OK" TioJaime858 (1:20:31 PM): "you're a fat pussy and you'll never do it" TioJaime858 (1:20:39 PM): "if you were a dog, i'd kick you in the face" TioJaime858 (1:20:48 PM): ooh hi anorexic-bulemic chick TioJaime858 (1:21:14 PM): i like sex TioJaime858 (1:21:20 PM): i like sex w/many other girls TioJaime858 (1:22:29 PM): heh 5'9" 140 is too thick TioJaime858 (1:23:23 PM): they're gonna weigh their dicks on the food scale TioJaime858 (1:23:29 PM): LOL TioJaime858 (1:23:52 PM): "eat your eggs bitch, official police business" TioJaime858 (1:25:08 PM): "still gay" TioJaime858 (1:25:31 PM): ooh hi toes TioJaime858 (1:25:33 PM): ooh hi cleavage TioJaime858 (1:25:35 PM): kleavage TioJaime858 (1:26:01 PM): ooh hi sarah TioJaime858 (1:26:02 PM): sara? TioJaime858 (1:26:19 PM): what did she say? TioJaime858 (1:26:20 PM): rewinding TioJaime858 (1:27:10 PM): yeah like that happens in real life TioJaime858 (1:27:13 PM): ooh yeah TioJaime858 (1:27:27 PM): "bitch is fat" TioJaime858 (1:28:12 PM): assistant 5'-7" 118 TioJaime858 (1:28:48 PM): LOL TioJaime858 (1:28:52 PM): he took the chinese food TioJaime858 (1:29:01 PM): is he gonna throw up now? TioJaime858 (1:29:09 PM): oh this is vile TioJaime858 (1:29:29 PM): he was puking on a homeless dude TioJaime858 (1:29:41 PM): "hey that's illegal! get a real house!" TioJaime858 (1:30:28 PM): he's throwing away her shoes? TioJaime858 (1:30:35 PM): ooh she's 26 TioJaime858 (1:31:02 PM): ooh yeah she's hot TioJaime858 (1:31:16 PM): ooh yeah she's taking her pants of TioJaime858 (1:31:53 PM): ooh the football baltimore orioles TioJaime858 (1:32:00 PM): heh TioJaime858 (1:32:20 PM): heh TioJaime858 (1:32:51 PM): ooh yeah her fans like her better gay TioJaime858 (1:32:56 PM): ooh yeah TioJaime858 (1:33:25 PM): another tony sinclair commercial! TioJaime858 (1:33:49 PM): Oh Dear... TioJaime858 (1:33:59 PM): Always in Moderation TioJaime858 (1:34:12 PM): I'm Tony Sinclair, and that's how you Tanqueray TioJaime858 (1:34:43 PM): ooh yeah goth chick on a dell TioJaime858 (1:34:48 PM): FUCK YOU DELL TERRORISTS TioJaime858 (1:35:07 PM): back from commercial TioJaime858 (1:35:37 PM): what happened to the hot chick? TioJaime858 (1:36:04 PM): ooh yeah lady godiva biscuits TioJaime858 (1:36:12 PM): ooh boobs TioJaime858 (1:36:37 PM): heh TioJaime858 (1:37:11 PM): heh TioJaime858 (1:37:16 PM): in a british accent TioJaime858 (1:38:06 PM): IT'S NOT OK TioJaime858 (1:38:24 PM): RAT HIM OUT TioJaime858 (1:39:03 PM): ooh hot porn-lesbian? TioJaime858 (1:39:56 PM): ooh yeah sara TioJaime858 (1:40:38 PM): isn't she gonna take her pants off? TioJaime858 (1:40:48 PM): there was nudity in OVER * THERE TioJaime858 (1:41:12 PM): "No One Should Masturate Alone" TioJaime858 (1:41:47 PM): ooh yeah she's on a date TioJaime858 (1:42:26 PM): heh TioJaime858 (1:42:39 PM): so i guess we're not gonna see her w/o her pants? TioJaime858 (1:42:52 PM): ooh nudity? TioJaime858 (1:43:23 PM): he's eating poptarts TioJaime858 (1:45:08 PM): good show TioJaime858 (1:45:24 PM): Stay tuned for scenes from the next episode of Starved TioJaime858 (1:46:10 PM): that man-chick is hot TioJaime858 (1:47:45 PM): Next Thursday on STarved TioJaime858 (1:48:11 PM): LOL release from a special massage girl TioJaime858 (1:48:12 PM): LOL TioJaime858 (1:48:23 PM): good stuff! TioJaime858 (1:48:26 PM): see ya next week TioJaime858 has left the chat room.

One more show to go...

she should've pressed her boob up against the window Midnight Express-style

Caught up on my TV today. Here's the first of three.

Jihad Jimmy, Minister of War Crimes and Chief Defender of the Faith

3am Criticism of FX's Over * There

You are now in chat room “AIMisPoop.” TioJaime858 has entered the chat room. TioJaime858 (12:10:07 PM): hello dere! TioJaime858 (12:10:24 PM): three days late TioJaime858 (12:10:36 PM): but here's the second episode of FX's Over There TioJaime858 (12:11:02 PM): starring Lauren Bergfeld from the WB TioJaime858 (12:11:07 PM): from the WB TioJaime858 (12:11:16 PM): from the WB's Beauty and the Geek TioJaime858 (12:11:20 PM): not really TioJaime858 (12:11:27 PM): Previously on "Over*There" TioJaime858 (12:11:58 PM): FUCK YOU TERRORIST! TioJaime858 (12:12:25 PM): oh it's the readhead chick humping somebody that's not her husband TioJaime858 (12:12:34 PM): uh oh TioJaime858 (12:12:49 PM): ungood TioJaime858 (12:13:02 PM): crazy terrorists TioJaime858 (12:13:29 PM): "i'm a soldier, dichkead" TioJaime858 (12:13:36 PM): oops TioJaime858 (12:13:37 PM): dickhead TioJaime858 (12:14:21 PM): i hate terrorists TioJaime858 (12:14:33 PM): oops TioJaime858 (12:14:49 PM): oh he doesn't have feet TioJaime858 (12:14:53 PM): or only has foot TioJaime858 (12:15:14 PM): ooh army chick TioJaime858 (12:15:29 PM): OVER*THERE TioJaime858 (12:16:03 PM): SHoPpers, there's a replay tonight (satur-dee) of this episode if this 3amC so moves you TioJaime858 (12:17:32 PM): they're roadblocking TioJaime858 (12:18:22 PM): wonderful TioJaime858 (12:18:28 PM): still, why must you let the woman drive? TioJaime858 (12:18:33 PM): have we learned nothing from.... TioJaime858 (12:18:34 PM): umm TioJaime858 (12:18:39 PM): drawing a blank TioJaime858 (12:18:55 PM): ram this! TioJaime858 (12:19:34 PM): you figure they'd use the mounted gun on the Humvee TioJaime858 (12:19:43 PM): in the roadblock TioJaime858 (12:19:48 PM): ooh hot army nurse chick TioJaime858 (12:20:27 PM): ooh yeah momma TioJaime858 (12:22:02 PM): yeah call the black man with a gun a street punk TioJaime858 (12:22:08 PM): "honky ass!" TioJaime858 (12:22:12 PM): "white boy!" TioJaime858 (12:23:01 PM): LOL the sergeant got pissed TioJaime858 (12:23:38 PM): nice job TEERRORISTS TioJaime858 (12:23:45 PM): FUCK YOU TERRORISTS TioJaime858 (12:23:48 PM): HOW'S YOUR CAR? TioJaime858 (12:24:38 PM): wow TioJaime858 (12:24:43 PM): ooh wow TioJaime858 (12:24:59 PM): nice chick, but now i don't ever want to drink MIke's hard Lemonade TioJaime858 (12:25:08 PM): fast forwarding TioJaime858 (12:25:34 PM): commercial for Starved TioJaime858 (12:25:46 PM): will follow on the SHoP soon TioJaime858 (12:26:16 PM): oh it's gonna be some reporter huh TioJaime858 (12:29:03 PM): he wants to get back to his unit TioJaime858 (12:30:13 PM): cute chick cutting vegetables TioJaime858 (12:31:22 PM): threatening army w/60 minutes TioJaime858 (12:32:03 PM): heh TioJaime858 (12:32:12 PM): crows love terrorists TioJaime858 (12:33:29 PM): la la war bad because we might've shot civilians TioJaime858 (12:33:31 PM): commercial TioJaime858 (12:33:53 PM): a lot of good the backup camera does on your sienna if you're looking back instead of watching your camera TioJaime858 (12:34:09 PM): Always Sunny in Philadelphia TioJaime858 (12:34:32 PM): also making it's SHoP debut soon TioJaime858 (12:34:48 PM): ooh a tony sinclair commercial TioJaime858 (12:35:15 PM): oh yes! TioJaime858 (12:35:25 PM): I'm told there's over a billion ice cubes in one of those things TioJaime858 (12:35:37 PM): I'm tony Sinclair. Ready to Tanqueray? TioJaime858 (12:36:29 PM): back TioJaime858 (12:36:37 PM): skanky redhead again TioJaime858 (12:37:35 PM): not so skanky this time around TioJaime858 (12:37:52 PM): that wasn't their house in the first episode TioJaime858 (12:38:02 PM): and that kid's not 7 TioJaime858 (12:38:25 PM): yay drunk redheads TioJaime858 (12:38:59 PM): and now the sandbags are staggered? TioJaime858 (12:39:10 PM): thought they were flush in line w/each other TioJaime858 (12:40:09 PM): he's a goddam a-rab TioJaime858 (12:40:30 PM): a-rab! TioJaime858 (12:40:41 PM): well that racism is OK since he's a black guy TioJaime858 (12:42:35 PM): Jihad! TioJaime858 (12:42:52 PM): the most exciting thing to happen in these exploda-muslims lives TioJaime858 (12:43:36 PM): oh that's too bad TioJaime858 (12:44:14 PM): poor innocent terroists being blown up by their own IEDs TioJaime858 (12:44:29 PM): wow we should subsidize something to help their pain TioJaime858 (12:46:09 PM): yay it's his wife! TioJaime858 (12:46:27 PM): she should've pressed her boob up against the window Midnight Express-style TioJaime858 (12:46:49 PM): JIHAD-SUPPERS!!! WOOWEE! TioJaime858 (12:47:06 PM): they're opening the trunk of the terrorists car TioJaime858 (12:47:12 PM): shit TioJaime858 (12:47:29 PM): car blows up and shit TioJaime858 (12:47:57 PM): black dude said the a-rab was full of shit? heh TioJaime858 (12:48:39 PM): nice job, new guy TioJaime858 (12:48:42 PM): fast forarding TioJaime858 (12:48:57 PM): and that aquarium looks familiar TioJaime858 (12:49:24 PM): back TioJaime858 (12:49:56 PM): standby TioJaime858 (12:49:58 PM): i want a sandwich TioJaime858 (12:53:08 PM): OK no sandwich stuff TioJaime858 (12:53:24 PM): got chili on the stove TioJaime858 (12:53:45 PM): cute chick trying to get her husband out of the army TioJaime858 (12:55:21 PM): and something about mules TioJaime858 (12:56:35 PM): and something about a bridge being out TioJaime858 (12:56:39 PM): dude where's my chili TioJaime858 (12:57:54 PM): fuck you terrorist car TioJaime858 (12:58:01 PM): yeah whatever execution TioJaime858 (12:58:15 PM): they shouldn't have fucking kept going TioJaime858 (12:58:38 PM): dude TioJaime858 (12:58:53 PM): little terrorist chick was already dead TioJaime858 (1:00:05 PM): he's speaking terrorist to them TioJaime858 (1:00:15 PM): uh oh TioJaime858 (1:00:24 PM): shoot TioJaime858 (1:00:27 PM): SHOOT THEM DAMMIT TioJaime858 (1:00:49 PM): oh wait maybe there's nobody in there TioJaime858 (1:01:31 PM): shoot his terrorist shit up TioJaime858 (1:02:07 PM): nice job soldiers TioJaime858 (1:02:46 PM): yeah FUCK YOU TERRORISTS TioJaime858 (1:03:20 PM): this is a stupid song TioJaime858 (1:04:17 PM): can smell my chili TioJaime858 (1:04:22 PM): OVER * THERE TioJaime858 (1:04:39 PM): STAY TUNED FOR SCENES FROM THE ALL NEW EPISODE OF OVER * THERE TioJaime858 (1:04:57 PM): thought that this episode was supposed to be something in a town or something TioJaime858 (1:04:58 PM): brb TioJaime858 (1:05:00 PM): getting chili TioJaime858 (1:07:07 PM): OK this is the episode that i thought was gonna be on last wek TioJaime858 (1:07:34 PM): i mean this week TioJaime858 (1:07:37 PM): wek, if you prefer TioJaime858 (1:08:04 PM): OK see you next week TioJaime858 (1:08:09 PM): or sometimes thereafter TioJaime858 has left the chat room.

Troglodyte is to cave dweller as another dumbass hollywood celebrity spouting off her mouth is to...

a. Kate Hudson
b. Susan Sarandon
c. Paris Hilton
d. Janine Garofolo

Answer:
Yeah, too easy. But Kate Hudson just made the list for being exceedingly stupid. The fact that people continue to look up to these morons is beyond me. I just spent all week in Irvine and Newport Beach, CA and have grown tired of all the lollipop-heads. After we kill the islamo-fascists, hollywood will be next. With me?

Fri-dee mornings with the Snark!

All from the Snark today...

Batting leadoff, this pizza post right here

Cheese Pizza

Traditional and comforting. You focus on living a quality life. You're not easily impressed with novelty. Yet, you easily impress others.

What's Your Pizza Personality?

And then this other post, which might take a while, but lemme get the ball rolling...

crap, 15 responses? OK lemme find 'em...

Directions: Type “(your name) is” with the quotes, into a Google Blingo search then pick out your favorite 15 responses.

1) (The New King) James is a COUNTERFEIT! 2) James is never mentioned in the Gospel of St. John 3) James is also a mail application platform 4) James is a strong leader who understands that everyone matters (TJ - yeah, right) 5) (rick) james is gone rest in peace man 6) James is a survival evidence medium, meaning that he is able to bridge the gap between two planes of existence, that of the living and that of the dead, by providing evidential proof of life after death via detailed messages. 7) James is best known for his formulation of the philosophy of pragmatism 8) James is seeking a long-term deal. Something preferably with a $15-million signing bonus. 9) James is the "escort" who guides the Gnostic through the door of the heavenly kingdom and even rewards him (55,6-14; cf. 55,15-56,13). (TJ - anybody want to enlighten us SHoPpers as to WTF this means?) 10) James is soooooooo freakin hot 11) (Lake) James is one of the cleanest, clearest lakes in the Carolinas. 12) James is called James the Greater because another younger apostle was named James 13) James is the on-set stunt coorindator for Stargate Atlantis 14) James is 26 and comes from London. After university he became a porn star (TJ - the best one yet, should've saved it for #15... comes from "the UK Gay Mens Guide" www.outuk.com) 15) James is fond of dogs

Spreading myself kinda thin...

Extremely good Jimmy League selection @ the zoo tonight!!! One J-League Designated Usual, three Probationary Usuals, one belarussian who I have apparently agreed to marry so she can stay in America, and one new 18-y.o. rookie who managed to trump all of them...

And COYB girl isn't quitting as was feared earlier this week. She was mad at being scheduled on her birthday weekend (she umm, turned 21...) and threatened to quit. Not the case. Thank God.

And at what price? Two drinks, one lapdance, and the inconvenience of not being able to watch a taped show from yesterday and two which i taped tonight.

SHoPpers, I beseech you: come w/me to the zoo. Help alleviate the jimmy-demand. Bring your women, if you'd like. Need I explain the wonderful girl-on-girl diversity that is San Francisco?

And with that mental image to shepherd you through the workday, Christmas Day gets even better! New alias for Tio Jaime!

all my love,
Tio Jaime
Jihad Jimmy, Minister of War Crimes and Chief Defender of the Faith
Al J. Zeera, Deputy Minister of Truth

Which do you want first?

Good News or the Bad News?

Well, realize that the SHoP was not, is not, and will never be a democracy. Not even a representative republic. I only asked you about your news preference to illustrate the suck-itude of Micro$uck and the rad-osity of Apple Computer. And on that note, here's the Good News...

Apple introduces the Mighty Mouse

Oh pretty cool, huh? It even got a write-up here at wizbang! but alas I was unallowed to comment as comments were closed to prevent PC weenies from bitching and complaining about a product which can benefit them too. Tards...

Which makes them deserve this next Bad News all the much more so!

First family of Windows Vista viruses unleashed

Aww. That's too bad. That's what happens when you willingly align yourself with SATAN.

Apple to the core,
Jihad Jimmy, Minister of War Crimes and Chief Defender of the Faith

[update date="20050805" time="0811"]
Nice that wizbang! is so mac-friendly from time to time (and one of the Big Boys on the right).

Notice their first comment on this post-- a faithful Mac-o-phile!
[update]

MY FRIENDS ARE TEH SUX0R SUCK!!!1

$50 giants tickets are selling for $20 right now on craigslist, BUT NONE OF MY USELESS FRIENDS CAN GO TONIGHT.

If ever i've criticized you because your city only started loving your local AL West team when they started winning in 1995, I'd like to formally rescind any and all criticism rendered against you. San Francis-suck isn't quite the baseball town i've touted it to be...

Jihad Jimmy, Minister of War Crimes and Chief Defender of the Faith

[update date="20050803" time="0946"]
[baseball]
No thanks to my wonderful friends, I got to enjoy a Lower Box Seat, sect 135 Row 9 all by my lonesome (click on the section to see just what you missed last night for $17). And at 50 cents more than half-off face value, oh what a bargain it was. Especially since giants tickets go for much more than face (these tickets will easily go for $80+ during a good season). Except when we suck. On a tuesday night.

Former Mariner Randy Winn in his San Francisco Giants debut was 1 for 4 with a strikeout, walk, run, single and two groundouts, including the game ending groundout with bases loaded and the go-ahead run in scoring posiion.

Also, almost made a spectacular sliding catch in SBC Park's expansive centerfield. Operative word, "almost". NL West second-to-last Giants lose the homestand opener to NL West dead-last Rockies.
[/baseball]
[LeetSpeak]
Here's a link to an extensive explanation of leet-speak. It's somewhat annoying. But that's the point of leetspeak, and without reservation, the point of my using leetspeak as well. Just to annoy you all.

But in the interests of readership, I will refrain from using it. Even tongue-in-cheek.
[/LeetSpeak]
[/update]

pwnz0r3d! \/\/\/\/ || is teh r0x0r

[disclaimer]
I hate l33t-speak. It's almost as bad as ebonics. Yet another fad upon which I wish a horrible death. The only hope is that if parents and grandparents start using phrases like "teh sux0r" and "w00t!" and "OMG j00 r a n00b!!!!!!!!11". God, how I hate you kids.
[/disclaimer]

found this link through SixMeatBuffet's link smorgasbord...

Stalin: WTF u arsshoel! WE HAD A FoCKIN TRUCE (brought to you by The Politburo Diktat

oh, Ok looks like i was blogging faster than I was thinking. Don't turn around, uh oh oh. der commissar links to this post from his page, uh oh oh!

don't want to ruin it, but here's the opening, and just gets better and better...

WWII as a realtime strategy

*Hitler[AoE] has joined the game.* *Eisenhower has joined the game.* *paTTon has joined the game.* *Churchill has joined the game.* *benny-tow has joined the game.* *T0J0 has joined the game.* *Roosevelt has joined the game.* *Stalin has joined the game.* *deGaulle has joined the game.* Roosevelt: hey sup T0J0: y0 Stalin: hi Churchill: hi Hitler[AoE]: cool, i start with panzer tanks! paTTon: lol more like panzy tanks T0JO: lol Roosevelt: o this fockin sucks i got a depression! benny-tow: haha america sux

takes you back to those starcraftin' days, huh? And actually, LMHBrent and MwHCock, I found my old starcraft CD a couple of days ago, you guys up for some craftin'?

Jihad Jimmy, Minister of War Crimes and Chief Defender of the Faith

Good riddance...

Jackson 'sheiks' on Bahrain move


The place sucks. Maybe the heat will kill him if the VD's don't. He'll definitely be able to afford buying his own children in those backwards countries without anyone saying anything.

Great Vengeance and Furious Anger, X

PREVIOUSLY ON THE SHOP...

Great Vengeance and Furious Anger, Prologue
Great Vengeance and Furious Anger, I and II
Great Vengeance and Furious Anger, III
Great Vengeance and Furious Anger, IV
Great Vengeance and Furious Anger, V
Great Vengeance and Furious Anger, VI
Great Vengeance and Furious Anger, VII
Great Vengeance and Furious Anger, VIII & IX

THE FOLLOWING TAKES PLACE BETWEEN 10:00 PM AND 11:00 PM.

EVENTS OCCUR IN REAL TIME.

Wanted the Kucinich sticker. But it flaked off before I could get any significant part of it. Got this one instead. Interestingly enough, this is the only partial among the Ten. This is a peculiar oddity, as normally I have 80% partials and 20% completes among my liberations.

Great Vengeance, Furious Anger...

Tenfold

My work here is done. Don't fuck with the SHoP. We're not your everyday Republicans.

Jihad Jimmy, Minister of War Crimes and Chief Defender of the Faith

[hotchick status="underripe"]

click to enlarge in new window
[/hotchick]