SHoP Mysteries Explained: YTMND

Ever find yourself wondering just what the fuck your favorite SHoP Overlord Tio Jaime and sometime SHoP Overlord SixHertz are talking about? It's probably because they're referencing some inside joke. And you, being on the outside looking in, don't get it. Don't worry though, we're not here to judge. This happens a lot, and not just to you! I find myself playing Catch Up with a new radio show trying to figure out the inside jokes and running gags.

Here on the SHoP, we could let you flounder and research this shit yourselves, ideally by clicking on the "ytmnd" label, but I myself know just how reliable you are when it comes to following enlightening links. You won't. And again, don't worry, we're not here to judge.

But seriously, follow the links below. You'll be a better person for it. Even more importantly, you'll be a better Citizen of the Internet. And that'll pay off in spades. Somehow. Hey look! More header tags!

YTMND Fads

It's very nice how with a few magic html-dealies, a clumsily and blatantly acknowledged non sequitur can be played off as part of the post, isn't it?

You may have heard SixHertz or myself go back and forth with O RLY YA RLY here on the SHoP and derive an inordinate amount of pleasure from something seemingly stupid-- and really, that's nothing unlike how you stupid Leftists blow Rosie O'Donnell each tim she opens her stupid piehole. Well heck, here's an explanation of that ytmnd fad.

These fads start out small and blossom like crazy. Some are more popular than others. Some other SHoP favorites are Safety Not Guaranteed, Picard Song, Nooo!, and What is Love. If you're an extra-lazy Citizen SHoPper, at least check out the "Original YTMND:" listed in the right-hand column.

Facial Expressions and Nigga Stole My Bike are also pretty good. I'll plug those here.

OK, and Medieval.

You wanna get political? Here's some Howard Dean for you. And because they're so good, and you're so lazy, here... 1) hyyeeeahhhh, 2) California (Howard Dean does the OC), and 3) Howard Dean: California Love

OK Citizen SHoPpers, I've linked a lot here for you. Go check 'em out, I'm going to sleep.

I WIN!!! Good day, sir!

I was looking for a youtube video of that famous line from Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory. The cool Gene Wilder one, not the Johnny Depp clusterfuck from a few years ago. Youtube didn't quite have what I was looking for, so I looked on blingo.com...



To date, I've won over $100 worth of shit. You could've too, but you didn't listen to your Tio Jaime back in this old-assed post. You probably aren't listening to him right now either.

Fuck it. Just go visit this ytmnd. Funny shit.

Jihad Jimmy, Minister of War Crimes and Chief Defender of the Faith

Happy Pi Day!

Although I'm somewhat more partial towards e, we at the SHoP cannot ignore the importance of Pi Day. And in a few seconds, I'll probably go back and add some fake posts from all the Pi Days we've missed.

Well, maybe not, i'm too lazy. And even then, it's not so much laziness that I have to work.

Here are some Pi links to aid in your celebration (or lack thereof) of wacky geometric constants. Enjoy.

3.141592653589793...
Learn to sing Pi .. 3.141592653589793... (REFRESH NO LONGER)
Real Medieval Pi
Pi vs Picard
Picard's Pi Command Code
Pi eye exam(done correctly)

Blind Date - Olde English Sketch Comedy
hardnphirm - pi - The song from the ytmnds above, if it isn't stuck in your head already...
Magnum P.I. opening

Pi - Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia

Safety Not Guaranteed By Any Means Necessary!

Some iChatter from this past week. Really, I think this post was just an excuse to be politically incorrect in that special SHoP way (MwHCock is Sikh). Oh, and also to link to a pretty funny YTMND.

lousy cousin getting married

9:16:23 PM JihadJimmyMWCCDF: new SHoP post up 9:16:44 PM MwHCock: I'm going to Canada tomorrow!! 9:16:51 PM JihadJimmyMWCCDF: dude, sweet! 9:16:56 PM JihadJimmyMWCCDF: how long you in canadia for? 9:17:02 PM MwHCock: weekend 9:17:08 PM MwHCock: come back monday morning 9:17:11 PM JihadJimmyMWCCDF: cool 9:17:13 PM MwHCock: lousy cousin getting married 9:17:21 PM JihadJimmyMWCCDF: i go to minnesota on tuesday 9:17:29 PM JihadJimmyMWCCDF: lousy kindergarten friend getting married 9:18:26 PM MwHCock: so what's the odds I get through security without getting pulled aside 9:18:30 PM MwHCock: keep in mind, I have a beard 9:18:49 PM MwHCock: and not a woman who i pretend is my lover since I'm gay, but facial hair

MwHCock's not gay. I think he just worded that incorrectly. Out of all my friends, MwHCock isn't the friend(s) about whom my parents ask from time to time, "Is he gay?"

And I've never heard of that expression before. If I can find you a definition online, I'll link to it here...

Beard Definition

I didn't want to spend too much time on that link. You get the picture.

http://timetraveler.ytmnd.com/

9:19:04 PM JihadJimmyMWCCDF: ? is that what a beard is? 9:19:18 PM MwHCock: that's one type of beard 9:19:27 PM JihadJimmyMWCCDF: and you should get yourself one of those PLO headdresses 9:19:53 PM MwHCock: that would be bad 9:20:24 PM JihadJimmyMWCCDF: or, you could get a shoulder holster and load it up with toothpaste 9:21:29 PM JihadJimmyMWCCDF: i just downloaded the song from this... 9:21:31 PM JihadJimmyMWCCDF: http://timetraveler.ytmnd.com/ 9:22:17 PM MwHCock: haha

That keffiyeh's pattern look familiar? Here it is in action...

bgcolor=burlywood. Because he's a shithead.

Rest assured that Ole' Uncle Yasser won't be making too many more appearances on the SHoP. Curious about the keffiyeh? Read THE MESSAGE IN ARAFAT'S HEADDRESS if you weren't completely sure that the PLO wants to kill all the Jews. Everywhere. Right now.

<update date="20060814" time="1932">
Found this one. If you liked the YTMND above, you'll like this one even better.

Temple of Time: Safety Not Guaranteed!
</update>

It's the Conspiracy Theory, Stupid!

While everybody else out there is forwarding various 9/11 conspiracies (or taking giant shits on them), they're missing a far more important issue!!!

Drawing upon two SHoP favorites-- a linkdump and a favorite website (more on that here)-- your Favorite SHoP Overlord Tio Jaime came across this very disturbing animation...

Garfield may be dead...

You can find more details at wikipedia, but the comics themselves are in that YTMND. You check it out. See for yourself. As conspiracy theories go, this one is more palatable than one which places George W. Bush at the head of a criminal conspiracy to murder a bunch of retarded New Yorkers.

That's all for now, it's late. Oh and don't go see My Super Ex-Girlfriend, especially if you're expecting lots and lots of Uma Thurman. There ain't.

And if this is your first time on the SHoP, welcome! Be warned: this is still considered a political blog, and your friend Tio Jaime may have been hiding his rabid Republicanism from you in the interests of civility. If this bothers you, just remember how tolerant you Leftists are supposed to be. And don't wander off the reservation and get mad at me when a right wing post or a racially insensitive slur gets your panties in a bunch. I'm warning you right here and right now.

Although what with posts like this, or ones about the San Francisco Giants or about various TV shows available on DVD, you'd think this blog is apolitical. Eh, whatever. That's the direction I've chosen to steer the SHoP as of late, and I hope that this clarification nets a few readers who have been holding on tightly to any misconceptions about this our beloved SHoP.

happy SHoPping,
Jihad Jimmy, Minister of War Crimes and Chief Defender of the Faith

SixHertz House of Super Bowl Ambivalence

Super Bowl is finished. Nobody in the SHoP really cares. Go Niners. On an unrelated note, exploda-muslims are pissed because of a couple of cartoons. Maybe they should check out PBF. 49er Faithfuls and eagled-eyed media watchdogs chatting after a shitty Super Bowl 6:55 PM TioJ: i fucking hate the steelers TioJ: fucking stupid seattle 7:20 PM SixH: seattle bungled up that one. TioJ: yeah dude TioJ: and check this out TioJ: http://news.yahoo.com/s/nm/20060206/ts_nm/nfl_superbowl_dc TioJ: WTF, the niners were first to 5 TioJ: asshole reuters SixH: you're goddam right they did. TioJ: fuck pittsburgh TioJ: fuck seattle TioJ: fuck everybody but the niners TioJ: i wore my #80 Rice jersey today during the game TioJ: and my niners hard hat 7:25 PM SixH: Just wearing that alone? TioJ: oh, and a cock sock SixH: ah, good. TioJ: whoa grey's anatomy right now?? no time for GTA San Andreas TioJ: whoa gratuituous lesbianosity TioJ: ! 7:30 PM SixH: were the ads stupid? I missed the first quarter and a half. TioJ: ads sucked TioJ: except for one or two TioJ: the one i posted on the SHoP was better 7:35 PM SixH: ok, what the FUCK is this bi-lingual commercial I hear about? Did you see that one? TioJ: oh yeah, i didn't think too much about it TioJ: it sucked TioJ: although it stressed the importance of foreigners learning english SixH: o rly? TioJ: ya rly! SixH: o rly? TioJ: ya rly! SixH: o rly? SixH: no wai! TioJ: heh SixH: hahahaha SixH: ROFL wonderful reporting from Reuters. Way to go, people who write about football but probably haven't sat through an entire game. excerpt from shitty article mentioned above 14 minutes ago DETROIT (Reuters) - Halfback Willie Parker scampered 75 yards for the longest touchdown run from scrimmage in title game history to help lead the Pittsburgh Steelers to a 21-10 victory over the Seattle Seahawks in Super Bowl XL on Sunday. Parker's record run came just 22 seconds into the third quarter as Pittsburgh claimed its first National Football League championship since 1980 and became the first team to win five Super Bowls. I wonder if they've corrected it yet... Oh hey, they corrected it. Ha ha. Niner nation. OK time for the Code Black we've all been waiting for in the post-Super Bowl Grey's Anatomy... Jihad Jimmy, Ministry of War Crimes and Chief Defender of the Faith

which loosely translated means, "i like your boobs / let me lick your boobs"

Yes, that post title is somewhat inappropriate. Especially since I like legs and buttocks more than boobies. But since a good portion of the SHoP will either like boobies or have boobies (hopefully both?) I'm in a very small minority. Despite my being a large minority. (Read: Post title socially inappropriate. I'm not a boob-man. Most of you Citizen SHoPpers are boob-men or are women (or are boob-women?), so I am of the minority opinion. Although I am a husky Filipino.) That first paragraph was just confusing enough to those on the outside looking in to warrant a translation. Hope this helps. If you didn't need a translation to read the first paragraph, you'll probably be amused by the italicized stuff then... The Sea Gal in question is a fourth year Sea Gal named Trina. She's dreamy. Jihad Jimmy, Minister of War Crimes and Chief Defender of the Faith You're the Man now, dogg! SixHertz: dude, I love that picture with you and the sea gals. TioJaime: yeah, me too SixHertz: great background. SixHertz: great foreground TioJaime: nice mammaries SixHertz: yes, me likey TioJaime: my favorite one is in the lower right TioJaime: curly hair TioJaime: w/highlights SixHertz: o rly? SixHertz: orly.ytmnd.com 9:10 AM TioJaime: am i missing something? SixHertz: this is what I meant to show you SixHertz: http://rly.ytmnd.com/ SixHertz: http://chunkpicard.ytmnd.com/ SixHertz: you seen the latest ytmnds? TioJaime: no, hit me SixHertz: http://chocolatequarter.ytmnd.com/ TioJaime: LOL 9:15 AM SixHertz: http://cornonthekabob.ytmnd.com/ SixHertz: this one is awesome. TioJaime: LOL 9:20 AM TioJaime: oh that's fucking hilarious SixHertz: and that's the actual song! TioJaime: yeah TioJaime: i recognize it TioJaime: "korah matah / korah ratamah" TioJaime: which loosely translated means, "i like your boobs / let me lick your boobs" SixHertz: hahaha SixHertz: http://conanthekabab.ytmnd.com/ 9:25 AM SixHertz: http://spongebobhuntsmoore.ytmnd.com/ SixHertz: ROFL!!! SixHertz: http://ournextprez.ytmnd.com/ SixHertz: ROFL!! TioJaime: OH JESUS TioJaime: i wasn't expecting that <hotchicks origin="sea" colloquially="gals"> click to enlarge in new window Korah Matah Korah Ratamah </hotchicks>

kinda small... is it the enterprise bridge crew?

PREVIOUSLY ON THE SHoP...

It's the Internet Phenomenon, Stupid!
Old post I found saved as a draft but which I needed for a new post...
hippopotomonstrosesquippedaliophobia
All your income are belong to us.
It's the Zoo, Stupid!

THE FOLLOWING TAKES PLACE BETWEEN 8:00 PM AND 10:00 PM.

EVENTS OCCUR IN REAL TIME.

---

I still have semblances of my glorious, nerd past. I was able to recognize tiny versions of Star Trek characters...

Mon-dee night chat

10/31/05, 8:14 PM TioJ: hey nice photoshop job 8:15 PM SixH: thanks, man. I figured out a cool function on photoshop 9:00 PM SixH: yo [RACIAL INVECTIVE]! TioJ: [SIMILAR RACIAL INVECTIVE]? SixH: take a look at this new icon TioJ: kinda small... is it the enterprise bridge crew? SixH: http://whatistng.ytmnd.com/ SixH: from here TioJ: i have small buddy icons, and also no animated gifs TioJ: OMG that's the best one i've seen so far 9:05 PM SixH: awesome isn't it? TioJ: is that yours? SixH: I'm not that good TioJ: heh SixH: and I don't have that time TioJ: no

And yes, all this trouble for one lousy link to a funny YTMND.

Jihad Jimmy, Minister of War Crimes and Chief Defender of the Faith

It's the Zoo, Stupid!

I've been semi-lurking at this one daily-read of mine. No real idea why this blog interests me so. No sir. Maybe you'll be able to glean something useful out of the blog?

Well, Citizen SHoPpers, the whole blog. Try to glean something useful out of the whole blog, not just the excerpted post below.

excerpt from So you wanna be a stripper? (emphasis mine)
If you are thinking of becoming a stripper there are a few things that you can do to make it easier. First, go out to some clubs in your area and scope out the situation. See which clubs are busy and what kind of people work and hang out there. Find a club that will suit you. If the girls are super hot and you aren’t, chances are you won’t do well there so try and find a skankier bar.

Although, be it not me to dissuade any female Citizen SHoPpers from joining the ranks of The Girls. Should you elect to do so, please to be commenting here when and where, such that we tip your stageshow.

Pictures of you onstage? Yes of course. Your Tio Jaime likes pictures. Send them right to the SHoP.

Oh, links above NSFW, btw. Probably should've told you that earlier, sorry. And whoops, hey, now your boss is reading over your shoulder? That ain't good...

Jihad Jimmy, Minister of War Crimes and Chief Defender of the Faith

ps- no, that blog isn't run by DJ John. hello dere.
pps-

NOOOO

LMHBrent: [CENSORED] LMHBrent: this better NOT be going on the SHoP Tio J: [CENSORED] LMHBrent: http://[CENSORED].html Tio J: honestly? it hadn't even occurred to me until you mentioned it Tio J: i should go work out... i'll talk to you in a bit dude Tio J: [CENSORED] LMHBrent: ok LMHBrent: i'm going to bed LMHBrent: it's 11pm Tio J: [CENSORED]! LMHBrent: eff my ess [portions of this chat not affecting the outcome have been edited] LMHBrent: [CENSORED]? Tio J: sometimes Tio J: isn't work travel nice? [CENSORED] LMHBrent: holy fucking cow [CENSORED]!!!!!! Tio J: jax0r LMHBrent: [CENSORED] LMHBrent: that would be very bad LMHBrent: i'd rather be paying on my own dime 8:10 PM Tio J: oh good SHoP post coming up... LMHBrent: NOOOO LMHBrent: don't you effing dare Tio J: no no no LMHBrent: oh LMHBrent: hehe

It's the Internet Phenomenon, Stupid!

This summary is not available. Please click here to view the post.

Old post I found saved as a draft but which I needed for a new post...

I intended to post this back on 02 June, but never got around to it. Wouldn't you know, I wanted to reference this chat today... so here you go, Citizen SHoPper

Tio Jaime

she was a 'tard in the movie.

JihadJimmyMWCCDF (2:37:09 PM): heh JihadJimmyMWCCDF (2:37:13 PM): met some chick online JihadJimmyMWCCDF (2:37:22 PM): but she did her homework and found the blog JihadJimmyMWCCDF (2:37:26 PM): funny e-mail i'llforward you SixHertz (2:38:20 PM): hahahaah SixHertz (2:38:22 PM): send it now JihadJimmyMWCCDF (2:38:27 PM): Ok standby SixHertz (2:38:44 PM): see why you can't associate your name to the blog? SixHertz (2:38:51 PM): it spells trouble. JihadJimmyMWCCDF (2:38:56 PM): OK you think i'm bothered by this JihadJimmyMWCCDF (2:39:25 PM): in reality, a hippie was filtered out thanks to my work on your blog SixHertz (2:39:42 PM): LOL JihadJimmyMWCCDF (2:41:05 PM): OK it's away JihadJimmyMWCCDF (2:41:54 PM): see, i can't have a woman who is so PC that she's unnerved by the use of the acronym C.U.N.T. SixHertz (2:42:02 PM): hahahahahaha SixHertz (2:42:06 PM): too bloody funny SixHertz (2:42:16 PM): who's the chick? Can we do a search for her? JihadJimmyMWCCDF (2:42:42 PM): i have her website, she's kinda cute SixHertz (2:43:06 PM): lemme see JihadJimmyMWCCDF (2:43:18 PM): i'll find you a pic, hold on JihadJimmyMWCCDF wants to send file C:\Documents and Settings\james\Desktop\red2.jpg (2:45:28 PM). SixHertz received C:\Documents and Settings\james\Desktop\red2.jpg (2:45:38 PM). SixHertz (2:47:25 PM): ugh...she looks hippie-tastic. JihadJimmyMWCCDF (2:55:36 PM): welcome to the bay area JihadJimmyMWCCDF (2:55:39 PM): she's kinda cute SixHertz (3:06:24 PM): I just got a phone call from my ISP JihadJimmyMWCCDF (3:06:35 PM): yeah SixHertz (3:06:36 PM): telling me to stop hosting a bittorrent file JihadJimmyMWCCDF (3:06:44 PM): what/s that? SixHertz (3:06:46 PM): Star Wars III SixHertz (3:07:14 PM): I said I wasn't hosting it. That I went to see the movie in the theaters, it sucked, and I wouldn't want to see it again. JihadJimmyMWCCDF (3:07:22 PM): heh yeah SixHertz (3:07:34 PM): Then I checked my files to make sure... SixHertz (3:07:52 PM): and lo and behold it was there. SixHertz (3:07:54 PM): oops. SixHertz (3:07:56 PM): hahah JihadJimmyMWCCDF (3:08:01 PM): how'd that happen? SixHertz (3:08:28 PM): I think I downloaded the bittorrent, and thought I had stopped/cancelled the download. SixHertz (3:08:37 PM): but it kept going in the background. JihadJimmyMWCCDF (3:08:40 PM): oops SixHertz (3:08:43 PM): yeah. SixHertz (3:08:48 PM): well, it's deleted now, anywyas. JihadJimmyMWCCDF (3:08:52 PM): i just want to be molested hard by natalie portman SixHertz (3:09:00 PM): she was a 'tard in the movie. JihadJimmyMWCCDF (3:09:10 PM): yes, but a tard w/boobies and a vagina SixHertz is away at 3:19:04 PM. SixHertz returned at 3:19:55 PM. JihadJimmyMWCCDF (3:49:15 PM): new rant @ the SHoP JihadJimmyMWCCDF (3:49:19 PM): my rants are evolving SixHertz (3:49:30 PM): aye aye JihadJimmyMWCCDF (3:49:36 PM): no longer mad @ the democruds JihadJimmyMWCCDF (3:49:46 PM): more mad at the stupid people who believe the democruds JihadJimmyMWCCDF (3:50:07 PM): God I hate these Little Brains SixHertz (3:50:08 PM): as it should be. JihadJimmyMWCCDF (3:50:24 PM): i'm trying to see their poitn of view, believe me JihadJimmyMWCCDF (3:51:29 PM): if only for myself, I need to know that I'm not following some crock-of-shit lemming argument JihadJimmyMWCCDF (3:52:06 PM): i don't care about the party, i don't care about the troops, i don't care about the iraqis JihadJimmyMWCCDF (3:52:21 PM): I care that I myself haven't bought into something that's bullshit JihadJimmyMWCCDF (3:52:52 PM): and ever since i quickly convinced myself that what we stand for isn't horseshit, then i start caring about the troops JihadJimmyMWCCDF (3:52:59 PM): then i start caring about the wacky iraqis JihadJimmyMWCCDF (3:53:12 PM): then i start caring about the Party and destroying the democrud elements in society SixHertz (4:31:21 PM): http://conagahnim.ytmnd.com/ SixHertz (4:31:25 PM): this is just funny to me. SixHertz (4:31:29 PM): use IE SixHertz (4:31:34 PM): and turn up the sound SixHertz (4:31:58 PM): And try to remember who agahnim is....if you played Zelda a lot, you should. JihadJimmyMWCCDF (4:33:08 PM): which one was agahnim? SixHertz (4:33:18 PM): um... SixHertz (4:33:24 PM): don't remember. JihadJimmyMWCCDF (4:33:27 PM): d'oh