Mon-dee.

F this Monday S. I wanna go home. I wanna go judge a speech and debate tournament in Union City, CA. Instead for your reading enjoyment, here's some random shit that can probably be found on other blogs. But you're here, no doubt, and probably on the offchance that I'll link to the two girls peeing on my xanga page.

I swear to God. Is that all you ever think about? Maybe you should look into acquiring some of this stuff in the next paragraph...

Yay for gay! Pentagon Spurned Plan to Initiate Enemy Homosexuality Well this is just funny. This does seem to be a case of Physician, Heal Thyself since we're trying to weed out chemical warfare in the middle east, but c'mon! Homos and halitosis? We're trying to give people the gay or at the very least make Listerine the new McDonald's in terms of spreading good ole American Capitalism to our vanquished enemies. How're those McNuggets, Comrade Putin? Make sure you share with Mikhail and Boris.

Oh, and that McDonald's "I'm Lovin' It" ad campaign? Makes me want to run people over with a Soviet T-72.

Found a good article via the morning show on KSFO. The title says it all: Teddy Drives the Dems Over a Bridge. Here's a short snippet to get your panties wet...

Personal responsibility? Here’s a guy who drove a car off a bridge and left a woman to die while he dithered for 8 hours before telling the police. In 1991, at age 61, (on Good Friday, no less) the perpetual adolescent roused his son and nephew from bed round midnight to go drinking with him at a working-class establishment called Au Bar. From this Kennedy field trip came charges of rape against the nephew, William Kennedy Smith. In the aftermath of the incident, our distinguished senior Senator was seen running around the Kennedy compound in his underwear.

And here's a parody I wrote just now. Sung to the tune of Simon & Garfunkel's "Mrs. Robinson". Yay!

Miss Kopechne
by Tio Jaime, GOP enthusiast

And here's to you, Mary Jo Kopechne.
Teddy loves you more than you will know.
Whoa whoa whoa.
Hey don't turn right, Teddy Kennedy.
The ferry stop is on your other side.
My my my.
My my my.

I'd like to get to you know you, can you please not tell my wife?
I'd like to help you get out of that dress...
Golly gee, I'm going that way! I'll give you a ride!
No, that isn't irish whiskey it's a Coke.

Crash crash cuh-crash, Teddy Kennedy.
Your Delta 88 is upside-down.
Oww oww oww.
Splash splash spuh-splash Teddy Kennedy.
This wasn't in your plan for getting laid.
Hey hey hey.
Hey hey hey.

Goin to a party for the staff of RFK.
Lookee over there, his little brother.
Arrogant and snooty, just a Kennedy affair.
Made your family fortune bootleggin' the booze.

Where have you gone, Mary Jo Kopechne?
Our senator has left you in the car.
Hardee har har.
What's that you see, Mary Jo Kopechne?
Chappaquiddick Teddy swims away.
Hey hey hey.
Hey hey hey.

Doors are locked and windows smashed on your new submarine.
Mary Jo was trapped and why were you not?
Later at the party, all your clothes are somehow dry.
Most of all you've got to hide it from the cops.

Why can't you breathe, Mary Jo Kopechne?
Heard you didn't drown before you died.
Aye yaye yaye.
What's that you say, Teddy Kennedy?
We'll slap your wrist and send you on your way.
Hey hey hey.
Hey hey hey.