Bloggus Interruptus

I have a new favorite waitress.

(And before we go on, why does my Dr. Pepper smell like Chenelle?)

The--

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OK I started that post last friday around 3pm. Got caught up looking for a change order that has seemed to have mysteriously vanished. Is this bad? No. We've already been paid about $7000 for the work in question, and that's the main thing. Although it would be nice to have that, since it's the subcontract and all.

Well, here is lovely Mon-dee. None of us want to be here right now. But Here are We and there's really no way out of it w/o any job related repercussions--

Oh F my S... i'm at DUMPCON 2, please standby

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STRATEGIC RELEASE OF DUMP COMPLETED. HAVE A NICE DAY.

And now, after standing down to DUMPCON 5, I'm enjoying the poo-phoria and delusions of grand-dump. Never been high, despite going to Berkeley, but I can only hope it feels as nice and giddy as this.

So, very sorry that I didn't post pics of the iPod Shuffle as promised. Since I had the element of surprise but in effect shaved off all its hair and tied it to a chair and left it the desert all alone, I'll just go ahead and tell you that the iPod's name is Sookie St. James. Pics to follow later.

OK so Mon-dee. Here at work. Unfinished post on my computer about a new waitress. And my Dr. Pepper smelled like Chenelle.

No more Dr. Pepper now, but what a good waitress! I went into the H-Club on either Thursday or Wednesday, didn't finish my mint snuff before going inside. Was seated in Sarah's section, she came to take my drink order.

"I'm OK for right now, but can I have a plastic cup?"

And a few minutes later, she brings me a clear plastic cup with a wet paper towel to weight down the bottom. "So you don't tip it over."

She's dreamy. Tall, nice legs, and probably accustomed to non-blue state things like dipping. Even if it is the O'Douls of dipping. I think America would be a better place if she and I were to make out. The more veteran waitresses (Sarah is a few months new) had noted that I tend to like the slow ones. But you show me where even Hall of Famer Emily had the foresight to weight a plastic cup down. And Sarah even has my drink down...

"Shirley Temple, please, no ice."

One of the nice things about being Tio Jaime-sized is that it's not too much of a stretch that I would beat the ever loving crap out of somebody at the Zoo for suggesting that my beverage of choice is only for little girls. I beg to differ: It is a fine and suitable drink for designated drivers and those not wishing to be gouged by Zoo prices. I would never beat the ever loving crap out of somebody anyway for something like that (I've actually never thrown a punch in my life), but it's nice to give the impression that it is a distinct possibility.

So maybe "favorite waitress" is a little generous. Here's my Top Ten Waitresses in the Jimmy League (comprised of the H-Club, Showgirls, and the G-Club):

1) EMILY (Showgirls)
2) KORI (H-Club) - Even she thinks Emily is a badass
3) MINDY (H-Club)
4) SARAH (H-Club)
5) JAMIE (Showgirls)
6) CARICE (H-Club) - looks like Condi Rice
7) STEPHANIE (G-Club)
8) SHAH (H-Club)
9) ANDREA (H-Club)
10) NINE PERCENT GIRL (Showgirls) - I tip more than 9% nowadays. Seems to have redeemed herself. Nice boobs.

Nicknames usually signify affinity or disdain. Tiffany was also known as "Crap On Your Bed Girl" because she was just like the cute little puppy who would crap on your bed, but you couldn't stay mad at it... Tiffany would fuck up drink orders, but she was just so cute (and F-able) it didn't really matter now, did it? She'd fix it for you... We made out in my truck one night.

find me a woman,
Jihad Jimmy