3am Criticism of Gilmore Girls Season Finale

Didn't think i was off by a week. Kinda reminds me of the time I forgot it was a Fri-dee.

And what the shit?!? KYCY is no longer??? KYOU, the Open Source Radio? What kind of stupid non-D&M shit is this?

You are now in chat room “ggseasonfinale.” TioJaime858 has entered the chat room. TioJaime858 (8:00:57 PM): Ok a spur-of-the-moment 3amC of Gilmore Girls TioJaime858 (8:01:00 PM): rory's in jail? TioJaime858 (8:01:15 PM): whoa, what'd she do? TioJaime858 (8:01:30 PM): did i miss a week? TioJaime858 (8:01:51 PM): and rory's in jail? TioJaime858 (8:01:53 PM): WTF happened? TioJaime858 (8:02:17 PM): great rich bastards TioJaime858 (8:02:22 PM): whata bunch of pigfuckers TioJaime858 (8:02:47 PM): wow TioJaime858 (8:02:49 PM): yay for rich people TioJaime858 (8:03:02 PM): oh did they steal a boat last episode? TioJaime858 (8:03:10 PM): oh i missed that one TioJaime858 (8:03:15 PM): i haven't watched it yet TioJaime858 (8:04:24 PM): OK TioJaime858 (8:04:32 PM): i didn't watch last weeks TioJaime858 (8:04:47 PM): probably because i was taping and then left for Vicetivus TioJaime858 (8:05:11 PM): OK we're gonna abort this 3am Criticism then. TioJaime858 (8:05:14 PM): sorry to get your hopes up TioJaime858 (8:05:19 PM): shit TioJaime858 (8:05:39 PM): i'm backed up 2 gilmore girls now and one Amazing Race TioJaime858 (8:05:56 PM): technically i still owe one more TAR season finale, so that's two TioJaime858 (8:06:02 PM): it was the one where Chip/Kim won TioJaime858 (8:06:08 PM): well, i'm gonna shower up and get some dinner then TioJaime858 (8:06:11 PM): will talk to you soon TioJaime858 has left the chat room.

Vicetivus V Under Way

SixHertz and Tio Jaime are in Vegas as I type this, enjoying themselves in only ways they can during Vicetivus. I expect to get a full report on their activities soon. Unfortunately, I couldn't attend this year. Maybe in January '06.

As a consolation prize, I decided to take an online quiz. Which Las Vegas Casino(s) Are You?

Take the quiz here.

This be me...
The MGM, The Venetian, The New York New York
You are The MGM Grand, The Venetian, The New York New York...You are the outlandish themed-hotel & casinos. These are the really nice casinos -- that also just happen to have excellent themes, too! You enjoy being in the spotlight for a little while, but definitly do not want anyone thinking you are famous. You like everything, and can adjust well to any atmosphere.

Worktime tomfoolery!

The following e-mail is true. The names have been changed to protect the innocent. And also my job security.

Fun with a Schmundergowhnd Construckshun internal e-mail!

-----Original Message----- From: Accounts Payable Chick Sent: Tuesday, May 10, 2005 3:59 PM To: Project Manager; Safety Engineer; Project Manager; demoted Division Manager; Division Manager; Jihad Jimmy, Project Engineer; Project Manager; Project Manager; Project Manager; Division Manager who has a cute daughter ten years my junior; Project Engineer; Project Manager; Division Manager Cc: Accounts Payable Manager-Chick Subject: REPORTING MEALS ON EXPENSE REPORTS Should you report meals on your expense reports, please provide more detail. If lunch is with customer or foreman please explain why. Thanks AP Chick

Simple enough, no? If I had any more seniority I would've sent the following Reply-all...

Jihad Jimmy's would-be hijinks!

AP Chick, So I'm guessing that it isn't enough to write on the expense reports, "Fuck, dude, I was hungry!" all my love, Jihad Jimmy, Project Engineer

worktime hijinks oh yes yes

JihadJimmy = tio jaime
SixHertz = Ministry of Truth

JihadJimmy (8:10:49 AM): work today, vacation tomorrow oh yes SixHertz is away at 8:17:18 AM. SixHertz returned at 8:25:09 AM. SixHertz (8:25:22 AM): you have tomorrow off? SixHertz is away at 8:35:53 AM. JihadJimmy (8:37:11 AM): you like that post about the $45,000 cat? Auto response from SixHertz (8:37:11 AM): I am currently away from the computer. Forward your IM to my mobile phone by preceding each message with "!page" (DO NOT INCLUDE the quotation marks in the message!!!). JihadJimmy (8:48:52 AM): !page touch me where my poo comes out SixHertz (8:48:52 AM): Your message has been forwarded to my mobile phone. SixHertz returned at 8:48:53 AM. SixHertz (8:56:28 AM): dammit, tahnks for sending me important shit to my phone. SixHertz (8:56:31 AM): dorkwad. SixHertz (8:56:32 AM): ;) SixHertz (8:56:36 AM): Yeah, that post rocked. JihadJimmy (8:56:37 AM): hey JihadJimmy (8:56:54 AM): you're the one who "invited" me to "forward [my] IM" JihadJimmy (8:57:11 AM): and really the only caveat said "DO NOT INCLUDE the quotation marks" JihadJimmy (8:57:13 AM): so i didn't SixHertz (8:57:25 AM): Well, then, I cordially invite you to suck my proverbial cock. JihadJimmy (8:57:30 AM): if your away message--LOL SixHertz (8:57:41 AM): :D JihadJimmy (8:57:47 AM): if your away message had said "please refrain from mentioning where my poo comes out" JihadJimmy (8:57:56 AM): then by all means would I have refrained from doing so SixHertz (8:58:01 AM): no doubt. SixHertz (8:58:05 AM): gotta watch it with you. SixHertz (8:58:06 AM): ;) JihadJimmy (8:58:14 AM): Toeing the SHoP line since 2004 SixHertz (8:58:16 AM): My folks say 'hi', btw. JihadJimmy (8:58:18 AM): ooh hold on SixHertz (8:58:18 AM): haha JihadJimmy (8:58:28 AM): cool link for you when you're back @ your computer SixHertz (8:59:25 AM): I'm back at my computer. Send it on over. JihadJimmy (8:59:42 AM): OK "Toeing the SHoP line since 2004" JihadJimmy (9:00:07 AM): "oh, i wonder why oh why would he put html tags on that," thought SixH SixHertz (9:00:26 AM): hahaha JihadJimmy (9:00:31 AM): check out this game JihadJimmy (9:00:35 AM): my brother found it JihadJimmy (9:00:38 AM): got me started SixHertz (9:00:39 AM): well, sometimes you be puttin' the html tags on, but I never see anything posted. JihadJimmy (9:00:42 AM): you answer some questions JihadJimmy (9:00:53 AM): (i know, i'm just keeping you on your toes) JihadJimmy (9:01:09 AM): based on your answers your nation is formed and evolves JihadJimmy (9:01:22 AM): they ssend you issues each day and you pass legislation on these issues SixHertz (9:01:27 AM): "Tio Jaime Nation's national animal is the duck, which teeters on the brink of extinction due to widespread deforestation, and its currency is the rape dollar." SixHertz (9:01:29 AM): BAHAHAHAHAHHAHAH SixHertz (9:07:17 AM): I like this site. SixHertz (9:07:19 AM): I'm making mine. JihadJimmy (9:07:27 AM): good deal JihadJimmy (9:07:33 AM): i was hoping you would JihadJimmy (9:07:39 AM): sorry i hadn't told you sooner SixHertz (9:07:59 AM): http://www.nationstates.net/cgi-bin/index.cgi/target=display_nation/nation=sixhertz SixHertz (9:09:51 AM): this is awesome. JihadJimmy (9:10:04 AM): what's your flag? SixHertz (9:12:22 AM): I'm making one...stby SixHertz (9:12:41 AM): it's going to be the SHoPbucks logo. JihadJimmy (9:13:16 AM): what was the one you chose? SixHertz (9:15:31 AM): the default one SixHertz (9:15:38 AM): like my motto? SixHertz (9:15:41 AM): oh no you di-int! JihadJimmy (9:15:47 AM): yeah JihadJimmy (9:15:49 AM): heh JihadJimmy (9:15:55 AM): where'd you get that from? JihadJimmy (9:16:28 AM): was that on TV recently? SixHertz (9:18:58 AM): some stupid pop-culture thing. SixHertz is away at 9:29:42 AM. SixHertz returned at 9:33:22 AM.

Solving the Border Issue

Here's a quick thought:
Length of US-Mexico border: Roughly 2000 miles long
The .50-caliber M-107 sniper rifle's max. effective range: Roughly 2,000 meters

Price of 1,000 M-107 sniper rifles and associated remote-control and NVG equipment: Approx. $150 million ($10 million for the rifles, $140 million for the remote control and other associated equipment)
Cost for support services (ie, reloading, maintenance, etc.): Approx. $250 million per year.

Price for individual membership to www.bagmeanillegal.gov: $99.95 per year.
Number of subscribers needed for said service to recoup yearly costs: 2.5 million
Additional cost structure:
-Shooting session: $49.95 per 1 hour round (10 shots)
-DVD Recording of session: $9.95 plus shipping
-Your dead illegal: Bagged, tagged, and gagged: $499.95 plus shipping

Return on Investment- Priceless.
Ain't capitalism great?

All the stupid people, / Where do they all come from? / All the stupid people, / Where do they all belong?

Ok please don't get me wrong. I love animals. They provide companionship as well as nutrition. And before you get your LIbEral panties in a bunch, I said "companionship" first, so read into that part if you must.

From the Seattle Times this morning... Judge awards $45,480 in cat's death

Some dumb Seattle-ite had a stray cat she picked up as a kitten during her vacation in Israel many moons ago. Neighbor's dog was really into that whole Nature thing and decided to kill the cat. Stupidity ensued.

Oh yay, we need more lawyers

Judge Linde determined that Roemer should receive $30,000 in replacement value for the loss of her cat, $15,000 for emotional distress, $90 to recoup the cost of having Yofi cremated, $80 in medical expenses and $24.12 in interest. The judgment may be among the largest amounts nationwide in lawsuits over the loss of pets, according to Roemer's attorney, Adam Karp of Bellingham, a specialist in cases involving animals. "I do think it's the largest in our state for any type of animal, excluding, say, a Thoroughbred or other commercially valuable pets, or service animals," Karp said. "And I'm pretty sure it's the largest for a cat."

And yet I still want to move back to Seattle to be within throwing distance of these mental magicians?

If you think you're pissed now, just read this next one. Oh God what a dumbfuckfest.

D-U-M Dumb

"I didn't go to court to get money," she said. "I could either burn his house down or I could go and shoot his dogs in front of him and shoot him, or I could shoot myself. So I decided to be rational and get a lawyer."

YOU IDIOT FUCKTARD OF A WOMAN. DO YOU EVEN KNOW WHAT "RATIONAL" MEANS?!? RATIONAL?!?

Let's go through the definition, shall we? Hmm, "having or exercising the ability to reason?" Well let's see... a natural enemy of my cat killed my cat, so let's sue my neighbor! STRIKE ONE, DUMBHOLE. "Of sound mind; sane"?

Lemmethinkaboutthatforasecond NO.

"Consistent with or based on reason; logical"? YEAH RIGHT. GET BENT.

And there's another definition if you scroll down a few lines... "Influenced by reasoning rather than by emotion". Oh yes. Any sane person would've gone the suing-your-neighbor route, I'm sure.

What the fuck is wrong with you people?!? If at any time during this rant you thought I was wrong or overreacting, you are cordially invited to Fuck Yourself. Please close this window as you have exceeded the SHoP's bandwidth for incoming STUPID. Please try again later.

If nothing else (and here's where I calm down and use reason and logic rationally), this sets a very dangerous precedent for litigation in the future. And when that precedent is set, the Party's Over. Not only are devious people now encouraged to get animals for the express purpose of having predators kill them for lawsuit purposes, eventually this will lead to something completely idiotic like comprehensive registration and maybe even prohibition of domesticated animals in Seattle. And why? All because one woman decided to let the demonstrably irrational judicial system mete out its special brand of judgment. In simple terms for you democrud Little Brains out there, She Ruined It For Everybody.

And no, you're right. It isn't Ruined. Yet. But that's a lot of what this feel-good legislation and feel-good judicial legislation accomplishes. And that's typical Democrud. If one person is in a world of shit, let's go ahead and drag everybody else down to that level. Yeah? Well FUCK YOU and your level playing fields. FUCK YOU and your mentally deranged ideas about equality and fairness.

that's all. FUCK YOU i'm gonna get some work done

Jihad Jimmy, Chief Defender of the Faith

ps- if you were crafty enough to catch the clever "judicial legislation", good for you! You're welcome to the SHoP anytime you want.

Live 3am Criticism of Grey's Anatomy, episode 7

The only bad thing about Grey's Anatomy is that it always indicates the impending mon-dee. Great. Can't hardly wait.

enjoy the remainder of your weekend,
Jihad Jimmy, Chief Defender of the Faith

3am Criticism of Grey’s Anatomy

You are now in chat room “gaep7.” TioJaime858 has entered the chat room. TioJaime858 (9:45:19 PM): hello dere TioJaime858 (9:46:21 PM): making D&M sounds right now TioJaime858 (9:55:45 PM): OK four minutes to grey's anatomy TioJaime858 (9:55:53 PM): i'm gonna lay down because i feel sick TioJaime858 (9:56:00 PM): too much milk too fast TioJaime858 (10:02:01 PM): hre we go TioJaime858 (10:02:17 PM): Last week on The Amazing Race Grey's Anatomy TioJaime858 (10:02:27 PM): ooh ellen pompeo TioJaime858 (10:03:04 PM): OK i like the ellen pompeo part, not so much the patrick dempsey part TioJaime858 (10:03:16 PM): and i like the katherine heigl TioJaime858 (10:03:43 PM): oh they saw him TioJaime858 (10:03:55 PM): ooh dr izzie looks hot TioJaime858 (10:04:15 PM): Seattle Grace! TioJaime858 (10:04:33 PM): shut up you frat-cocktor TioJaime858 (10:05:08 PM): heh TioJaime858 (10:05:16 PM): dr izzie didn't sleep last night TioJaime858 (10:05:49 PM): blackt0r 1 TioJaime858 (10:05:50 PM): ! TioJaime858 (10:06:07 PM): heh TioJaime858 (10:06:14 PM): she said 1337 TioJaime858 (10:07:24 PM): OK some teenage chick hiding something TioJaime858 (10:07:49 PM): heh privacy for the little chick TioJaime858 (10:08:01 PM): heh gunshot TioJaime858 (10:08:14 PM): he scheduled a gunshot? TioJaime858 (10:08:25 PM): he likes the scars TioJaime858 (10:08:39 PM): This is a fucking stupid theme song la la la TioJaime858 (10:09:23 PM): heh yeah youcan go offroading w/your family in the sequoia TioJaime858 (10:10:02 PM): retard wendy's commercial TioJaime858 (10:10:34 PM): ohyay the bachelor TioJaime858 (10:10:48 PM): and oh yay extreme makeover TioJaime858 (10:11:27 PM): he had a friend shoot him for the scars TioJaime858 (10:11:56 PM): ooh sandra oh puking TioJaime858 (10:12:12 PM): and some girl-on-girl action with ellen pompeo TioJaime858 (10:12:23 PM): JUST SHOW HER DAMMIT TioJaime858 (10:13:15 PM): she had some operation i mexico TioJaime858 (10:13:24 PM): o'malley is cool TioJaime858 (10:14:08 PM): "see one, do one teach one" TioJaime858 (10:14:45 PM): that's a nice looking hospital TioJaime858 (10:15:12 PM): and now sandra oh went from sick to pissed TioJaime858 (10:15:26 PM): blackt0r2! TioJaime858 (10:15:48 PM): heh great more meredith jokes TioJaime858 (10:17:20 PM): bourbon on the anesthesiologist TioJaime858 (10:17:23 PM): 's breath TioJaime858 (10:17:25 PM): sp? TioJaime858 (10:17:29 PM): whatever i'm the engineer TioJaime858 (10:17:42 PM): "glad to see he's still stupid" TioJaime858 (10:18:08 PM): illegal gastric bypass mexico style TioJaime858 (10:19:54 PM): just so you know jane Fonda is a cunt TioJaime858 (10:20:08 PM): for once i'm gonna have to go w/jennifer lopez TioJaime858 (10:21:08 PM): not back yet TioJaime858 (10:22:07 PM): and yay mean parents TioJaime858 (10:22:24 PM): OK mean mom TioJaime858 (10:24:20 PM): mean GF TioJaime858 (10:24:43 PM): TRIFECTA! TioJaime858 (10:24:54 PM): blackt0r 2 TioJaime858 (10:25:01 PM): oh missed blackt0r 1 eaerlier TioJaime858 (10:25:06 PM): JESUS ANOTHER BLACK PATIENT TioJaime858 (10:25:09 PM): HOW DID I MISS THAT ONE? TioJaime858 (10:26:18 PM): mean pale mom TioJaime858 (10:26:23 PM): heh TioJaime858 (10:26:34 PM): the internet is the new violent video games TioJaime858 (10:27:18 PM): i'd rather poke the daughter than themother TioJaime858 (10:27:21 PM): yeah momma TioJaime858 (10:27:52 PM): in hindsight, the ellen pompeo girl-on-girl was kinda hot TioJaime858 (10:27:55 PM): yeah momma TioJaime858 (10:28:06 PM): Rasmussen's encephalitis TioJaime858 (10:28:48 PM): whoa gotta removehalf her brain TioJaime858 (10:33:06 PM): "relatively normal life" TioJaime858 (10:33:48 PM): sandra oh is eating TioJaime858 (10:33:56 PM): "when you gonna figure out that i know everythying?" TioJaime858 (10:34:57 PM): frat cockt0r TioJaime858 (10:35:00 PM): fuck i hate that guy TioJaime858 (10:36:22 PM): "not the only thing that's inappropriate" TioJaime858 (10:37:08 PM): yay for--ewwwww TioJaime858 (10:37:27 PM): the bowel or something exploded TioJaime858 (10:37:54 PM): and i like how they were having a woman-argument in the middle of a surgery TioJaime858 (10:38:49 PM): man i can't wait for vegas TioJaime858 (10:41:30 PM): and now here's your Six Degrees of Sandra Oh TioJaime858 (10:43:07 PM): Sandra Oh's younger brother played tennis growing up w/MwHCock who went to college w/Jihad Jimmy TioJaime858 (10:43:13 PM): whose post you're reading righ tnow TioJaime858 (10:43:34 PM): not that anybody's reading this far TioJaime858 (10:45:27 PM): and now dr izzie just fished the keys out of that dud TioJaime858 (10:45:28 PM): dude TioJaime858 (10:45:50 PM): and ellen pompeo smells has patient's "putrid goo" on her TioJaime858 (10:46:33 PM): heh TioJaime858 (10:48:00 PM): "i think Claire is killing herself to please you" TioJaime858 (10:48:25 PM): wow there's a lot of moral grandstanding that goes on here TioJaime858 (10:49:16 PM): more so than the Practice from i remember which used to have this time slot TioJaime858 (10:49:47 PM): oops TioJaime858 (10:49:55 PM): the drunk anesthesiologist is asleep TioJaime858 (10:50:36 PM): there see? had you listened to o'malley, you wouldn't be in a world of shit right here at the 50-minute climax TioJaime858 (10:52:11 PM): ooh yeah TioJaime858 (10:52:16 PM): he got booted from the OR TioJaime858 (10:52:31 PM): whoa TioJaime858 (10:54:09 PM): ooh dr. humping-ellen pompeo is taking the blame TioJaime858 (10:54:18 PM): nice job o'malley TioJaime858 (10:54:30 PM): see, this is the reason he's gonna bang dr. izzie TioJaime858 (10:55:25 PM): and now social services is getting involved becuase of a dumb mother and a nosy doctor? TioJaime858 (10:56:14 PM): ooh long sordid versin!!! long sordid! TioJaime858 (10:56:34 PM): ooh trailer park dr. izzie! TioJaime858 (10:56:38 PM): went to state TioJaime858 (10:57:04 PM): i'm gonna have to side w/dr izzie on thsi one TioJaime858 (10:57:34 PM): and i'd like to eat icing off of kathryn heigl's chest TioJaime858 (10:57:59 PM): "i'm not getting any" TioJaime858 (10:58:04 PM): heh enter dr. george TioJaime858 (10:58:39 PM): heh TioJaime858 (10:59:15 PM): "why do i keep hitting myself with a hammer? because it feels so good when i stop." TioJaime858 (10:59:16 PM): heh TioJaime858 (10:59:19 PM): next sunday TioJaime858 (10:59:36 PM): ooh george has a hot date TioJaime858 (10:59:50 PM): ooh that nurse was a cutie TioJaime858 (11:00:04 PM): OK that's all for now, i gotta get to bed TioJaime858 has left the chat room.

Tape-Delayed 3amC of The Amazing Race 7, episode 10

Good episode. Season Finale next week. Grey's Anatomy to follow later tonight. Must read TV.

Jihad Jimmy, Chief Defender of the Faith

3am criticism of TAR7 episode 7 (5 days late, sorry...)

You are now in chat room “tar7ep10.” TioJaime858 has entered the chat room. TioJaime858 (5:38:10 PM): hello dere TioJaime858 (5:38:20 PM): sorry i was kinda late w/this TAR TioJaime858 (5:38:22 PM): but here we go TioJaime858 (5:38:40 PM): --4000 miles to istanbul, turkey TioJaime858 (5:38:50 PM): (gilmore girl's kinda overran TAR) TioJaime858 (5:39:06 PM): and yeah let's play kelly's ignoramus statements for the 3rd week in a row TioJaime858 (5:39:20 PM): "oh my God, Meredith!" TioJaime858 (5:39:27 PM): la la non-elimination TioJaime858 (5:39:33 PM): duh TioJaime858 (5:39:58 PM): oh yesh TioJaime858 (5:40:06 PM): 4 teams remain, who will be philiminated next TioJaime858 (5:40:11 PM): A! MAZE! ING! AMAZING TioJaime858 (5:40:16 PM): A! MAZE! ING! AMAZING TioJaime858 (5:40:20 PM): A! MAZE! ING! AMAZING TioJaime858 (5:40:25 PM): A! MAZING RACE! TioJaime858 (5:40:30 PM): A! MAZING RACE! TioJaime858 (5:40:33 PM): A! MAZING RACE! TioJaime858 (5:40:38 PM): A! MAZE! ING! AMAZING TioJaime858 (5:40:43 PM): A! MAZE! ING! AMAZING! TioJaime858 (5:41:04 PM): oh yay, i get to go through the commercials TioJaime858 (5:41:26 PM): no, it's not the same as TiVo TioJaime858 (5:41:30 PM): eat me TioJaime858 (5:41:58 PM): istanbul, turkey only city built on 2 continents TioJaime858 (5:42:05 PM): 2nd of 3 non-philimination TioJaime858 (5:42:09 PM): ha ha TioJaime858 (5:42:24 PM): i'd like to get all sorts of naked w/the Young Turk TioJaime858 (5:42:30 PM): (URL to follow) TioJaime858 (5:42:44 PM): blancks first to depart TioJaime858 (5:42:46 PM): i missed the time TioJaime858 (5:42:51 PM): proceed to sirkeci train station TioJaime858 (5:43:03 PM): whirling dervishes TioJaime858 (5:43:22 PM): uChenna! TioJaime858 (5:43:36 PM): uChenna and baldy TioJaime858 (5:44:22 PM): and why did they make these turks get up in the middle of the night to do some whilring dervish dealie? TioJaime858 (5:44:26 PM): they have to go to Abbey Road TioJaime858 (5:44:32 PM): meredith and gretchen TioJaime858 (5:44:34 PM): 2nd to depart TioJaime858 (5:44:40 PM): less talky, more racey TioJaime858 (5:44:42 PM): not racy TioJaime858 (5:44:46 PM): they're old TioJaime858 (5:44:57 PM): "hoped to get through the first couple of legs w/o embarassing ourselves" TioJaime858 (5:45:10 PM): ooh hot turkish momma TioJaime858 (5:45:30 PM): it'd be funnier if they were the same height TioJaime858 (5:45:38 PM): Tema Shooting Blancks TioJaime858 (5:45:45 PM): "alright, let's go eat!" TioJaime858 (5:45:47 PM): i like that guy TioJaime858 (5:46:09 PM): heh TioJaime858 (5:46:11 PM): they're old TioJaime858 (5:46:14 PM): and it's funny TioJaime858 (5:46:19 PM): Rob-tard 3rd to depart TioJaime858 (5:46:39 PM): oh, "rob and [you] know it's getting close to the end?" TioJaime858 (5:46:42 PM): wow you're a goddam genius TioJaime858 (5:46:54 PM): ron/kelly 4th to depart TioJaime858 (5:47:06 PM): and they have no money TioJaime858 (5:47:25 PM): and oh too bad your ugly pageant queen doesn't get to have any makeup TioJaime858 (5:48:34 PM): wow you're a goddam tard TioJaime858 (5:49:00 PM): whoa TioJaime858 (5:49:06 PM): hour and a half advantage TioJaime858 (5:49:15 PM): oh but the frankfurt flight is full TioJaime858 (5:49:34 PM): oh yeah TioJaime858 (5:49:41 PM): hot turkish momma TioJaime858 (5:50:06 PM): OK so rob-tard is going to frankfurt in the hopes of making it onto the standby TioJaime858 (5:50:18 PM): oh i think they're plotting their mental magic again TioJaime858 (5:50:32 PM): that was nice of that dude TioJaime858 (5:50:50 PM): i guess that ron/kelly are the best chance for beating the rob-tard TioJaime858 (5:50:56 PM): and somehow i magically forgot the spoiler TioJaime858 (5:52:05 PM): flight 1 to frankfurt TioJaime858 (5:52:36 PM): c'mon BABY TioJaime858 (5:52:38 PM): fuck you ron TioJaime858 (5:52:46 PM): they're racing to the standby counter TioJaime858 (5:53:06 PM): ha ha too bad eff you gnome TioJaime858 (5:53:26 PM): c'mon BABY fuck you rob-tard TioJaime858 (5:53:37 PM): rob-tard made the flight TioJaime858 (5:53:38 PM): eff you TioJaime858 (5:53:47 PM): you fucking fucktard TioJaime858 (5:53:52 PM): and ron-kelly are on the rlight TioJaime858 (5:53:54 PM): ha ha fuck you rob TioJaime858 (5:53:58 PM): FUCK YOU ROB TioJaime858 (5:54:07 PM): GO SUCK A COCK ON THE GOLDEN GATE BRIDGE TioJaime858 (5:54:26 PM): London, England TioJaime858 (5:55:00 PM): paddington station TioJaime858 (5:55:03 PM): wow Rob is a cockmaster TioJaime858 (5:55:18 PM): oh you met stewart TioJaime858 (5:55:29 PM): ooh yeah hot american chick TioJaime858 (5:55:40 PM): Padington Station TioJaime858 (5:56:00 PM): c'mon BABY they're right behind us TioJaime858 (5:56:05 PM): hey go fuck yourself rob TioJaime858 (5:56:13 PM): just a sugestion TioJaime858 (5:56:27 PM): "this guy's pumped to be with us TioJaime858 (5:56:37 PM): Rob-tard currently in first place TioJaime858 (5:56:42 PM): make way to London Eye TioJaime858 (5:56:51 PM): ooh that's from the Tube and Berger video TioJaime858 (5:57:03 PM): Wow cool TioJaime858 (5:57:18 PM): ooh yeah the Tube TioJaime858 (5:57:30 PM): yay for engrish TioJaime858 (5:57:35 PM): Straight Ahead TioJaime858 (5:57:39 PM): One direction TioJaime858 (5:58:28 PM): and now she wants an apology TioJaime858 (5:58:39 PM): and they're looking for the flag TioJaime858 (5:58:58 PM): oh Rob is an eagle-eyed bastard as well TioJaime858 (5:59:16 PM): that was a cool task TioJaime858 (5:59:26 PM): A Detour is a choice between two tasks, each with its own pros and cons TioJaime858 (5:59:30 PM): Brains or Brawn TioJaime858 (5:59:38 PM): well no shit brains or brawn TioJaime858 (5:59:41 PM): what a crock TioJaime858 (5:59:55 PM): and there's a fake sherlock holmes TioJaime858 (5:59:56 PM): great TioJaime858 (6:00:02 PM): oh what must foreigners think of us? TioJaime858 (6:00:08 PM): wonder if my laundry is done TioJaime858 (6:00:16 PM): oh they're doing the Brains TioJaime858 (6:00:20 PM): GOOD LUCK W/THAT THERE TioJaime858 (6:00:41 PM): ok that's a cool task too TioJaime858 (6:00:58 PM): "you're in the competition as well" TioJaime858 (6:01:02 PM): two hours ago TioJaime858 (6:01:02 PM): heh TioJaime858 (6:01:05 PM): g/l w/that there TioJaime858 (6:01:17 PM): commercial TioJaime858 (6:01:19 PM): gonna check laundry TioJaime858 (6:01:20 PM): brb TioJaime858 (6:08:32 PM): and we're back TioJaime858 (6:08:59 PM): perhaps this is another non-elimination TioJaime858 (6:09:27 PM): and now Rob is looking for 3 naked men TioJaime858 (6:09:53 PM): and ron-kelly are going for the brains TioJaime858 (6:10:39 PM): two late teams going to the london eye TioJaime858 (6:11:03 PM): ron-kelly at the naked men TioJaime858 (6:11:10 PM): goign to sherlock holmes TioJaime858 (6:11:15 PM): wow, she's a tool too TioJaime858 (6:11:23 PM): great TioJaime858 (6:11:38 PM): teams must not make their way to the millenium dome TioJaime858 (6:11:41 PM): to the parking lot TioJaime858 (6:11:47 PM): caution: Yield Ahead TioJaime858 (6:12:17 PM): yeah make the old people look for something small and detailed TioJaime858 (6:12:25 PM): yay good bye asshole TioJaime858 (6:12:29 PM): thanks for helping THE DEVIL TioJaime858 (6:13:04 PM): shooting blancks choosing brawn TioJaime858 (6:13:08 PM): and so are the old people TioJaime858 (6:13:15 PM): OK goodbye gretchen and meredith TioJaime858 (6:13:28 PM): 3rd and last Yield TioJaime858 (6:13:50 PM): nice graphic of the same dude pulling each of the 4 tickets off TioJaime858 (6:14:15 PM): yeah no shit they're yielding ron-kelly TioJaime858 (6:14:28 PM): WHY THE FUCK WOULD YOU CONSIDER YIELDING THE BLANCKS? TioJaime858 (6:14:39 PM): Roadblock is a task that only one person can perform TioJaime858 (6:15:14 PM): ha ha you asshole you hit the cone TioJaime858 (6:15:17 PM): "watch where you're going" TioJaime858 (6:15:27 PM): yeah you stupid C.U.N.T., like you'd do any better? TioJaime858 (6:15:36 PM): battersea park TioJaime858 (6:15:40 PM): they have to haul boats TioJaime858 (6:15:52 PM): gotta stack 5 boats TioJaime858 (6:15:55 PM): g/l w/tt TioJaime858 (6:16:13 PM): oh is this where uChenna helps the old people? TioJaime858 (6:16:37 PM): dude uChenna is a monster TioJaime858 (6:16:39 PM): i hope he wins TioJaime858 (6:16:49 PM): you dumb cunt TioJaime858 (6:17:07 PM): wow fourth time's a cunt TioJaime858 (6:17:11 PM): Potter's Field Park TioJaime858 (6:17:45 PM): how did ron-tard take so long to get there? TioJaime858 (6:18:13 PM): yeah nice job w/the not doing the brains one there TioJaime858 (6:18:20 PM): WHY THE FUCK WOULD YOU CHOOSE THAT FI YOU'RE OLD? TioJaime858 (6:18:49 PM): uChenna/Joyce 5 boats completed TioJaime858 (6:19:20 PM): better to take the train TioJaime858 (6:19:37 PM): OK nice job old team TioJaime858 (6:20:13 PM): oh is this the one where joyce gets pissed? TioJaime858 (6:20:22 PM): commercial TioJaime858 (6:20:26 PM): fuck you travelocity gnome TioJaime858 (6:20:36 PM): haha i have my own fast forward TioJaime858 (6:21:11 PM): oops TioJaime858 (6:21:15 PM): had to take the underground TioJaime858 (6:21:22 PM): LOL TioJaime858 (6:21:31 PM): OK that was goddam funny TioJaime858 (6:21:51 PM): g/l w/tt TioJaime858 (6:21:54 PM): oh fuck you TioJaime858 (6:22:04 PM): and what's with the creepy englishman TioJaime858 (6:22:07 PM): rob-tard TioJaime858 (6:22:08 PM): team #1 TioJaime858 (6:22:12 PM): FUCK YOU TioJaime858 (6:22:23 PM): oh and *they* get a home entertainment system?!? TioJaime858 (6:22:25 PM): what the shit TioJaime858 (6:22:32 PM): yeah no shit you're fucking lucky TioJaime858 (6:22:44 PM): i don't think you have the option to yield TioJaime858 (6:22:51 PM): you crazy shooting blancks TioJaime858 (6:22:55 PM): yeah let the women drive TioJaime858 (6:23:18 PM): OK old team caught up TioJaime858 (6:23:23 PM): yes, let the old man drive TioJaime858 (6:23:27 PM): yep TioJaime858 (6:23:59 PM): LOL TioJaime858 (6:24:04 PM): I CAN'T UNDERSTAND WHAT THE HELL YOU'RE SAYING TioJaime858 (6:24:07 PM): YOU'RE MAKING ME NERVOUS TioJaime858 (6:24:11 PM): kelly 7th attempt TioJaime858 (6:24:44 PM): yeah nice job w/that a task is only one person may perform TioJaime858 (6:25:12 PM): they should've included all the attempts, but sped them up to wacky benny hill speed TioJaime858 (6:25:19 PM): what w/them being in England and all TioJaime858 (6:26:05 PM): meredith 6th attempt TioJaime858 (6:26:24 PM): wow she got it TioJaime858 (6:26:54 PM): nice job meredith-dude TioJaime858 (6:27:28 PM): wow so rob-tard has like a 6 hour lead? TioJaime858 (6:28:11 PM): yeah duh TioJaime858 (6:28:15 PM): uChenna joyce team #3 TioJaime858 (6:28:20 PM): oh did i mention ron-kelly tema #2 TioJaime858 (6:28:21 PM): team #2 TioJaime858 (6:28:30 PM): Meredith/Gretchen last team to arrive TioJaime858 (6:28:41 PM): I'm sorry to tell you you've both been philiminated from the Race TioJaime858 (6:28:43 PM): shit TioJaime858 (6:28:59 PM): nice job, Old Team TioJaime858 (6:29:25 PM): oh yes TioJaime858 (6:29:37 PM): FUCK YOU AND FUCK YOU AMBER YOU SIDE-MOUTH TALKING RETARD TioJaime858 (6:29:48 PM): FUCK YOU YOU BOSTONIAN FUCK TioJaime858 (6:30:15 PM): stay chuned for scenes from our next episode TioJaime858 (6:30:49 PM): heh funny commercial w/Verizon TioJaime858 (6:31:12 PM): looks like this tuesday is the season finale TioJaime858 (6:31:19 PM): with the final non-elimination TioJaime858 (6:32:17 PM): Next week on the two-hour season finale of TAR TioJaime858 (6:32:43 PM): heh rob-tard gets stopped by the cops TioJaime858 (6:32:55 PM): ooh TioJaime858 (6:32:58 PM): OK amber looked hot there TioJaime858 (6:33:13 PM): OK will see you in a couple of days... TioJaime858 has left the chat room.

Riding with beggars

Ain't the internets grand?
UPDATED 5/8/05 730pm:
Bay Meadows, Race 7 $2 to Place 8 ESS
Bay Meadows, Race 8 $1 Trifecta 5, 6, 1 EFF
Bay Meadows, Race 9 $1 Exacta 1, 7/8 EFF ME
Bay Meadows, Race 10 $1 Exacta 6,1 WHAT THE ESS
Hollywood Park, Race 9 $1 Exacta 6/7, 1 (Sweet Sassy Molassy! I hit the exacta!!! 6 Charm the Giant with 7 Lyndee's Pearl!!! $1 exacta wins $38.40!!! I'm getting Chinese take-out tonight!!!)
Mountaineer Race Track, Race 1 $1 Exacta 6, 4 EH WHATEVS I HIT THE EXACTA AT HOLLYWOOD PARK EMM-EFFERS!!!

And thanks, bodog.com for using different conventions for partial wheels on your Tote Window and your Open Bets. I just feel lucky i'm not one of these LIbEral Little Brains.

and from yesterday

10 Giacomo	102.60	45.80	19.80
18 Closing Argument		70.00	24.80
12 Afleet Alex			4.60

$2 Exacta 10-18 $9,814.80
$2 Trifecta 10-18-12 $133,134.80
$1 Superfecta 10-18-12-17 $864,253.50
$2 PK3 (8-9-10) $21,335.20
$2 PK4 (1-8-9-10) $164,168.60
$2 DD (9-10) $1,978.40

Word to the Wise, or: Nice job you stupid C.U.N.T.

Hey just a tip from you friendly, neighborhood engineer...

If you're gonna be a C.U.N.T. about it and ask me for a 15% tip on my tab, please to be making sure that I haven't already left you exactly what you were asking for and a bit more

You end up looking like a stupid, uneducated ignoramus. And you make me exclaim things in front of everybody like "What the fuck is this?" and "Where did you learn your fucking math?"

And I don't give a flying fuck if you think you "waited on me all night" because, hey C.U.N.T., you didn't. You're a bartender and did nothing above nor beyond the call of duty for what you're paid. Did you come to my table and take our order? Did you check up on us? Did you do half of what Emily or Mindy or the Young Turk or Crap-On-Your-Bed Girl or Kori would've done?

Ahh, no.

And so really, you didn't even deserve the 15% tip that I left you, but we'll let that one slide.

For future reference, if I have to stand up and find you? You aren't waiting on me.

I've said it before, and I'll say it again-- this time literally: Do the Math.

$66 * 0.15 = $9.90

Since you wanted to split hairs, I really should've taken that dime away and left you exactly 15%. But for now, don't spend it all in one place.

Go suck a cock on the Golden Gate Bridge,
Jihad Jimmy, Chief Defender of the Faith

Live 3am Criticism of the Kentucky Derby

3am Criticism of the 131st running of the Kentucky Derby

You are now in chat room “kentuckyderby131.” TioJaime858 has entered the chat room. TioJaime858 (1:51:37 PM): hello dere! TioJaime858 (1:51:48 PM): a little over an hour until the Derby TioJaime858 (2:58:51 PM): riders mounting up TioJaime858 (2:59:17 PM): afleet alex #12 TioJaime858 (2:59:34 PM): flower alley has blinkers TioJaime858 (2:59:53 PM): call to the post! TioJaime858 (3:01:02 PM): ooh hot southern chicks in hats TioJaime858 (3:01:10 PM): one chugging a beer on national TV TioJaime858 (3:01:21 PM): stupid NBD TioJaime858 (3:01:24 PM): NBC TioJaime858 (3:01:33 PM): yeah thanks for the lyrics at the bottom of the screen TioJaime858 (3:02:42 PM): 1 sort it out 60-1 TioJaime858 (3:02:50 PM): 2 andromeda's hero 55-1 TioJaime858 (3:03:05 PM): 3 sun king 16-1 TioJaime858 (3:03:20 PM): 4 noble causeway 12-1 TioJaime858 (3:03:36 PM): 5 coin silver 37-1 TioJaime858 (3:03:51 PM): 6 high limit 23-1 TioJaime858 (3:04:07 PM): 7 flower alley 41-1 TioJaime858 (3:04:28 PM): 8 greater good 57-1 TioJaime858 (3:04:38 PM): 9 greeley's galaxy 20-1 TioJaime858 (3:04:57 PM): 10 giacomo 48-1 TioJaime858 (3:05:11 PM): 11 high fly 8-1 TioJaime858 (3:05:25 PM): 12 afleet alex 4-1 TioJaime858 (3:05:40 PM): 13 spanish chestnut 69-1 TioJaime858 (3:05:58 PM): 14 WILKO!!! 21-1 TioJaime858 (3:06:05 PM): do the dew baby!!! TioJaime858 (3:06:15 PM): 15 bandini 6-1 TioJaime858 (3:06:23 PM): 16 bellamy road 5-2 TioJaime858 (3:06:25 PM): the favorite TioJaime858 (3:06:38 PM): 17 don't get mad 29-1 TioJaime858 (3:06:49 PM): baze? that jockey? TioJaime858 (3:06:54 PM): 18 closing argument 70-1 TioJaime858 (3:07:05 PM): 19 going wild 57-1 TioJaime858 (3:07:28 PM): 20 buzards bay 45-1 TioJaime858 (3:07:53 PM): oh and just enough time for a commercial TioJaime858 (3:08:48 PM): yay for ambitious black women TioJaime858 (3:10:03 PM): 2 mins to post according to bodog TioJaime858 (3:10:14 PM): and yay stupid visa/yankees ad TioJaime858 (3:10:22 PM): is that supposed to be cute? because it's not TioJaime858 (3:11:44 PM): WHO GIVES A FUCK ABOUT THE YANKEES? TioJaime858 (3:11:57 PM): FUCK YOU BOB COSTAS TioJaime858 (3:14:00 PM): wilko! TioJaime858 (3:14:18 PM): bandini a little reluctantgetting in the gate TioJaime858 (3:15:06 PM): here we go TioJaime858 (3:15:11 PM): horizontal break TioJaime858 (3:15:12 PM): \ TioJaime858 (3:15:17 PM): AND THEY'RE OFF TioJaime858 (3:15:33 PM): spanish chestnut in front TioJaime858 (3:15:35 PM): going wild on outside TioJaime858 (3:15:39 PM): bellamy in 3rd TioJaime858 (3:15:51 PM): 1/4 :22 1/5 TioJaime858 (3:16:02 PM): spanish chestnut going wild flower alley TioJaime858 (3:16:07 PM): dammit wilko in 15th TioJaime858 (3:16:17 PM): 12 45 1//5TioJaime858 (3:16:24 PM): spanish chestnut going wild flower alley TioJaime858 (3:16:27 PM): at the 1/2 pole TioJaime858 (3:16:41 PM): afleet alex in 6th on the inside TioJaime858 (3:16:49 PM): chestnut flower bellamy on the inside TioJaime858 (3:17:05 PM): closing argument on the outside TioJaime858 (3:17:12 PM): afleet alex in the lead TioJaime858 (3:17:25 PM): shit TioJaime858 (3:17:27 PM): i missed it TioJaime858 (3:17:36 PM): giacomo! TioJaime858 (3:17:46 PM): shit TioJaime858 (3:18:57 PM): TioJaime858 (3:20:28 PM): 10 18 12 TioJaime858 (3:20:36 PM): giacomo closing argument afleet alex TioJaime858 (3:21:22 PM): and now they're showing some old chick crying

If Wishes were Horses

Here's the action I have on the Kentucky Derby today. I have #14 Wilko to Win, and also have the Exacta of Wilko with Afleet Alex and Bellamy Road. I also have a proposition bet that Wilko will beat Sun King.


click to see Tio Jaime's Derby bets

And at the risk of incurring the wrath of the Man with the Huge Cock, if you want in on the action and want to help out your Tio Jaime by letting him refer you to bodog.com, drop me an e-mail. Check the comments on the previous posts, find my e-mail there.

Not yet in the mood for horse racing? Here's Smarty Jones missing the Triple Crown last year...

gonna get some tires for the UESC Lorelai for the upcoming road trip to Vegas...

all my love,
Jihad Jimmy, Chief Defender of the Faith

UPDATE: Miss O'Hara has a nice write up here. And she has cute toes too.

testing the waters for a soon-to-be-SHoP-favorite!

This is long overdue. The only real reason we here at the SHoP have been dragging our heels is trying to come up w/a good acronym for this feature. With initials like "M.N." it's only fitting that the acronym take up the form of a common swear word. So instead of choosing amongst ourselves, we will let you, the bad-ass SHoPpers take your pick. We'll start up this feature next week, pending selection of a name. Choose from below, or if you're feeling creative, submit your own!

Daily Affirmation with Mark Nicodemo
Deafening Accuracy: Mark Nicodemo
Don't Argue with Mark Nicodemo, Idiot-Tard

I myself like the first one-- straight-forward, doesn't eff around. And shit, if you are mark himself, please feel free to take that and use it as you wish. With most grateful compliments of the SixHertz House of Pain.

Mark has an assload of good stuff on his site, I would say a good 90-95% of which manages to escape all the other sites I try to keep up w/on a regular basis. So it goes w/o saying that it is a virtually untapped (heh, virgin if you'd prefer) resource for news guaranteed to Tickle your Pickle.

And oh Lord, be careful when googling images containing "vlasic" because you get some scary looking eastern-european track & field chicks. Who can all kick your ass. And not in the good, sexy way.

And just one more food cartoon, because this guy has always been one of my favorites.

OK. Now these are examples of good marketing. If you take away the logos, lay dollars to win donuts at 6 to 5 that you'll still start to have hankerings for pickles and tuna. What garbage do we have nowadays? A talking retard baby who likes his sandwiches Mmm mmm mmm mmm Toasty? Horse-ess. Animated bears with hyper-sensitive poo-holes taking shits in the woods? Shoot me, please.

OK back to the hat-tip at hand. Check out these following posts from marknicodemo.blogspot.com.

Worshipping "Diversity" at any Price Kumbaya My Lord Friend - dammit do hippies piss me off too. look at all the doublespeak MN's highlighted. Makes you wanna give yourself an enema, huh? Want to Guess At Their Response? A Gun Ruining a Perfectly Good Robbery - oh i love stories with happy endings! no, not those kinds of happy endings... Thanks Justice Blackmun

You want more? go check out his site. I'd be very surprised if you don't find something there that you won't wanna forward to your friends & family. I myself am still trying to catch up.

Here are some SHoP posts to which has commented, very much to our enjoyment...

Same Shit, Different Ignoramus Celebrity Opening His Stupid Pie-Hole Assclowns a-plenty (PG) (heh, R) Kickin' it old skool with some dope-assed anti-Clinton Re-pizz-nublic-izzm aww yeah represent NIGGA, Part II - this is a good one. very succinct.

This should tide you SHoPpers over for a while. I gotta finish up some work so i don't stay until 7pm on a fri-dee.

all my love,
Jihad Jimmy, Chief Defender of the Faith

ps- Hawthorne, Race 2, $2 plc #4; Bay Meadows, Race 4 $2 win #1; Bay Meadows, Race 4, $1 ex 1/3; Bay Meadows, Race 6 $2 win #1; also a $5 parlay with SF Giants (-121) over the Nats at Pac Belland the Seattle Mariners (+148) over Boston in Fenway to win $17.65

Because you're mine, / I Toe the line.

This summary is not available. Please click here to view the post.

And when she was sad / I was there to comfort here / and I knew that she loved me.

This summary is not available. Please click here to view the post.

The answer, my friend, is the SixHertz House of Pain. / The answer is the SixHertz House of Pain.

It wouldn't even bother me if these ignorant little kids were half as informed as the LIbEralS were ten years ago. Related note: dinner w/ex last night. She commented that i was an "old-school Republican" and we both concluded that i was a Republican stuck in the 90s.

Here. Check out what this little ignoramus C.U.N.T. is trying to say. And think back to the glory days for the democruds. I didn't get any smarter; if anything, i'm not as politically savvy as when i was the wacky Republican on Bellarmine's speech and debate team. (BCP NFL notes: shit, we lost to Logan and sweet, i like how our Mission Statement puts the holy warrior spin on the team. Shit, i'm sorry I gradoolated.) Since I'm no smarter, and it's getting easier and easier to dismantle the democrud mindset, the only logical conclusion is that they've managed to dilute their already watered-down ideas of perverted logic.

So let's get to the juicy meat of this post. Here's an excerpt from this little know-it-all's blog. I'd like to apologize to you SHoPpers in advance for making you read this schlock, but really now, it'll make the jimmy-response relevant. Formatting mine.

more ill-prepared drivel from this chick's blog...

Stupid things Bush said… “Social Security worked fine during the last century, but the math has changed. A generation of baby boomers is getting ready to retire. I happen to be one of them.” Yeah, right. You are going to need your Social Security to live on, like the rest of us? Hardly. “Secondly, I believe a reformed system should protect those who depend on Social Security the most. So I propose a Social Security system in the future where benefits for low-income workers will grow faster than benefits for people who are better off. By providing more generous benefits for low-income retirees, we’ll make this commitment: If you work hard and pay into Social Security your entire life, you will not retire into poverty.” I wonder who he considers “low-income” vs. “better off”.

Goddamit. What an idiot. She doesn't even snipe well. How the fuck am I supposed to lead a conservative jihad when my sworn enemies are just gonna roll over for us like the Republican Guard did in iraq? I can't, not with my fellow conservatives doubled-over laughing at this unprecedented stupidity.

It's like i'm sticking my chin out, letting them take the first swing. And then they do something retarded like reach into their pockets and throw Skittles at me. It's cute the first time but gets annoying fast. Here I am, looking to make an intelligent defense in the Culture War, and I end up dodging fruit chews with a candy shell.

Here's where I fire my volley, but realize this is like trying to fend off yummy, sugary projectiles with a gun. Funny because Tio Jaime is wasting his time at work, ha ha. Funnier because LIbEralS nowadays bring candy to gun fights. Not even knives. Goddamit.

another jimmy-comment on this chick's blog...

Jihad Jimmy, Chief Defender of the Faith Says: May 4th, 2005 at 8:29 am 1) he just said he was a Baby Boomer about ready to retire. Anything you read past that is just an example of your own lack of reading comprehension 2) my God, he just flat out says that the have-nots will get more than the haves! what else are you possibly looking for? this is right up your alley! do you even understand this whole compare-and-contrast thing?

I'm so fucking sick of these mental-midgets! American Left: Please to be sending us an adversary worthy of our derision! And no, Al Franken came close but in the end was just a boring Tool.

Here, a SHoP exclusive. Here's what she should have said. I will show you that I truly can "out-liberal" you cheesedicks out there.

Tio Jaime doing somebody lazy-assed LIbEral'S work for her...

Stupid things Bush said… “Social Security worked fine during the last century, but the math has changed. A generation of baby boomers is getting ready to retire. I happen to be one of them.” Funny he should mention math. Really, funny that he should ever mention anything remotely academic in nature. He has his cadre of brains behind him so he never has to worry about anything but donning his cowboy boots and looking tough to the rest of the world and his lemming constituents. And fuckity-fuck, he's not retiring fast enough from his position as War-Criminal-in-Chief. Hillary would make such a better wartime president. She's vicious and she even scares her own Democratic Party. Who would dare stand up to that? “Secondly, I believe a reformed system should protect those who depend on Social Security the most. So I propose a Social Security system in the future where benefits for low-income workers will grow faster than benefits for people who are better off. By providing more generous benefits for low-income retirees, we’ll make this commitment: If you work hard and pay into Social Security your entire life, you will not retire into poverty.” Commitment! That's a fucking riot! Didn't he swear to uphold the Constitution in his inaugural oath? He went ahead and took a shit on that with the Patriot Act, so why should this promise of commitment be any different? It won't!

What the Fuck. How hard was that? I did it, and I pulled it entirely out of my ass. I didn't copy any democrud drivel that I'd read on some other retard's page. That's all original shit.

Do you see what I'm reduced to? How pathetic is that. I have to debate myself. (good thing i'm a Master Debater)

Faithful SHoPpers, i challenge you: compare your Tio Jaime's fake rant with another genuine rant and you tell me which one makes a better argument for the other team. I'm gonna start a SHoP segment soon where I have real democrud rants and a fake tio jaime rant. You'll have to Spot the Intruder.

all my love,
Jihad Jimmy, Chief Defender of the Faith

Welcome to Downtown Dumbass, Population: You

What the hell does that mean, Part II

http://www.google.com/search?as_q=texa...s_oq=TITS&as_eq=&l

I think I figured it out. Despite voting along w/Red America, Red Americans annoy me. But lucky for them us, Blue Americans annoy me and piss me off and make me want to push for governmentally sanctioned sterilization of the population.

Got that idea from my old project manager. He said that we should put something in the water that renders people sterile. And if they want to have kids, they apply for the antidote. No fuss, no muss. Democruds to the short bus.

And I'm bothered by this revelation, somewhat. So I vote Red, but like living Blue? Makes me wanna take a dump on my own truck. I'd just like to point out that this is consistent w/my general annoyance at people in general, Red or blue.

And perhaps I should've chose an equally esoteric, but more anonymous name...
http://www.google.com/search?hl=en&lr=&q=sam%20zoranovich
Howdy, Sam, if you make your way to this page. You're a bright guy, you can figure out who this is. And congrats, btw, on your MA...

moving on, I bet you were in for the suprise of your life, old-timer... Welcome to the SHoP! Cock. Balls.
http://www.google.com/search?q=1941%20benicia...start=10&sa=N

that's all for now. What w/nearly 200 hits coming in on sunday and monday, the referring urls don't stay in the queue for too long

OK maybe i'll leave work early today

Jihad Jimmy, Chief Defender of the Faith

As if being a Republican Mac-o-phile wasn't enough...

I suppose I'm just a glutton for punishment... here's another quiz, this time lifted from the Snark.

You are a good old-fashioned six-sided cube, otherwise known as a d6. Others know you to be plain, predictable, conservative, average, ordinary, and downright boring. You prefer to describe yourself as dependable, honest, practical and trustworthy. People usually know what to expect from you, since you rarely hold any surprises. You hate to make decisions, and if forced to decide, you'll always fall back on how it was done in the past. You always order the same thing at your favorite restaurant, and your jokes, while funny, are never too offensive. It seems that you are well liked, but maybe that's simply because there's nothing to hate.

Take the quiz at dicepool.com

Jokes never too offensive, eh? speaking of six-sided dice, you know what's not too offensive of a joke? Going to Vegas and while using levels just loud enough for your friends to hear referring to stupid female shooters at the craps table as "Spits", "Swallows", or "Swallows-because-she-has-to". Oh no, that won't offend anybody. The boys seemed to like it.

On a side note, sincerest apologies to all Snark-visitors. See? This is what happens when you wander off the reservation.

One more quiz? One more quiz...

[littlegirl]Another one from Caltechgirl and why oh why am i gay for her cute little rockets banner?!? GODDAMMIT THOSE LITTLE ROCKETS ARE THE CUTEST THING I'VE EVER SEEN! I'M GONNA LOOK AT THEM AGAIN, I HOPE FIREFOX HASN'T RELOADED THE PAGE.

I don't mean to sound like a little girl, but I'm posting up a pic of the banner-- it's that cute. Click to enlarge. It won't take you to her blog, though...[/littlegirl]

Here, here's the quiz...

Your Geek Profile:

General Geekiness: High

Geekiness in Love: Moderate

Academic Geekiness: Low

Gamer Geekiness: Low

Movie Geekiness: Low

Music Geekiness: Low

Fashion Geekiness: None

Internet Geekiness: None

SciFi Geekiness: None

How Geeky Are You?

Well shit here we go again. I'm not as geeky as i thought i was/wanted to be. I'm gonna confess now. I've hid this for quite some time, but there was a quiz that the MiniTrue(84) and LMHBrent (90) took a while back...

I was below 50. There I said it. Don't fucking believe me? Here, i'll take it again to show you that i'm not just going crazy.

well shit i went up. don't know how the fuck i did that, but thank God I did.

Fuck. I'm an engineer. I have nothing if not that. I'm supposed to be an uber-nerd. WTF is wrong w/me?

And tonight? I'm having dinner w/my ex. No, i'm not staying home and playing on my xb0x0r or making more sound clips of the Don and Mike Show. Never-effing-mind that those are perfectly good nerdy activities.

At the very least give me credit for "xb0x0r".

Jihad Jimmy, Chief Defender of the Faith