And after all that, I still can't think of a post title...

Here ya go. Some politics for you. Although it's not so much right wing SHoPping as it is Jihad Jimmy, Minister of War Crimes and Chief Defender of the Faith just sniping stupid things some politician said and did as well as the stupid things journalists will put into print and try to pass off as news.

Edwards launches bid for U.S. presidency - Yahoo! News

And no, don't try to turn the tables here and tell me that i'm writing right now. This is true but fortunately for us, it's not my real job. I'm just some oriental engineer who is waiting for other oriental engineers to call him back. And so I'll write about some news story I found in the interim. Press on, Citizen SHoPpers!

excerpt from yahoo! article
NEW ORLEANS (Reuters) - In a bleak New Orleans neighborhood still wrecked from Hurricane Katrina, Democrat John Edwards launched a run for the presidency on Thursday with a call to cut U.S. troops in Iraq, restore American leadership in the world and end poverty.

Whoa. I thought it said "In a black New Orleans neighborhood..."

another excerpt from yahoo! article
"We didn't used to be the country of Guantanamo and Abu Ghraib. We were the great light for the rest of the world and America needs to be that light again," said Edwards, wearing blue jeans, work boots and an open-neck shirt.

Sort of like a "shining city on hill", perhaps? Sure, we can do that again. Just realize that people didn't like us back then, people don't like us right now. There are gonna be people who don't like us no matter what we say or do, no matter which countries we aid or don't aid, no matter which islamic religions we pander to. Better to take care of our own shit and not give a fuck what these other, unimportant countries say or think about us. Unless of course, they think they can step to our shit. Then we need to remind them.

oh yay. another excerpt from yahoo! article
He also said the United States should join the fight against global warming.

Right. Because we don't do that right now. Wake up, dude. Thought your party was in touch with the common man?

And if I can insert my Berkeley-bolstered, Civil-and-Environmental-Engineering-based, scientific opinion here (And Ignorant Leftists take note, despite my credentials which take a shit on your lack of credentials, it's still an opinion), global warming is still a farce. If you still believe that shit, you deserve to have the Degenerocrats run your lives from their Vultures' Nests in Congress and eventually the White House because God knows you dumbfucks are stupid enough to elect Hiliary.

SixHertz and I believed in global warming, sure. When we were in elementary school. He probably believed in it through the eighth grade, but I stopped before the fifth grade. We grew up. Did you?

And no, I'm not addressing anybody in particular. But that's the fun of reading political rants where I set up a nice straw man only to tear him apart much to the delight of those who agree with me, and to the disdain of those ignorant ones who aren't fortunate enough to agree with me. Heh, there I go again...

more degenerocrat shittiness from the yahoo! article

"TWO AMERICAS" To drive home his populist message, Edwards opened his campaign in New Orleans' debris-strewn Ninth Ward, which was wiped out in Hurricane Katrina last year and where the storm's mostly poor victims are still struggling to rebuild. "New Orleans in so many ways shows the two Americas I have talked about in the past," he said. "We need to show that the most powerful nation on the earth won't stand by and let this continue."

Two Americas? Like Chocolate and Vanilla?

And the article is phrased somewhat stupidly. I guess they stopped teaching that "Principles of Antecedents" course in Jernalizm Skool...

So there's this: ...where the storm's mostly poor victims are still struggling to rebuild.

and then ya got this: "We need to show that the most powerful nation on the earth won't stand by and let this continue."

So John Edwards doesn't want the Chocolate people of New Orleans to continue rebuilding?!? NO WAI!

even more degenerocrat shittiness from the yahoo! article
He has proposed work, housing and school measures aimed at lifting millions of Americans out of poverty in the next 10 years, and wants a goal of ending poverty within 30 years.

Didn't Reagan do something like that? Oh yeah, it was called "expanding the middle class".

And why would the degenerocrats want to do this anyway? Make entrepreneurial Republican small business owners who will want to keep more of what they've earned instead of paying for wider, shittier government? That's kind of dangerous. The Degenerocrats should just stick to aborting future democrats in the womb like they're doing right now. They're good at that.

A smaller amount of abortions before 1982 probably would've turned the tide in 2000 for Gore, don'tcha think? But then what would you have complained about, what with nobody having "stolen" the presidency.

But back to Edwards stealing one of Reagan's ideas-- he'd probably fuck that up too. Instead of proposing work, housing, and school measures the better solution would be to cut taxes. You cut taxes, you create jobs. You cut taxes, more people can buy houses. You cut taxes, more parents have school choice.

Or does Choice stop after the baby pops out of the mother? Ask John Edwards. He has the ability to channel them from inside the womb.

enough yahoo! shittiness already!
His roots in the South, where he grew up in North and South Carolina, could be an asset for a party trying to broaden its appeal. The last three Democratic presidents -- Lyndon Johnson of Texas, Jimmy Carter of Georgia and Bill Clinton of Arkansas -- were from the South.

Whatever. So was Al Gore. And we see how well that worked out for him. What a stupid statistic.

And Johnson? OK so he ran a year after JFK's assassination and invoked the name all over his campaign. Of course he's gonna win. He would've won if he was wearing Jackie Kennedy's underwear on the outside.

Jack's brother... Dick

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that should be the slogan for Cal Football 2K7: "Holiday Bowl. No more, no less."

Found this chat sitting in the Drafts. This was before Big Game.

Big Game Chat

Rafterman (6:36:57 PM): you ready for big game?!?!!? JihadJimmy (6:37:23 PM): dude, we've secured our Holiday Bowl berth... we don't really need to win this saturday Rafterman (6:37:32 PM): haha JihadJimmy (6:37:33 PM): we need to look ahead to the Holiday Bowl Rafterman (6:37:37 PM): PUT IN AYOOB!!! JihadJimmy (6:37:40 PM): LOL JihadJimmy (6:37:47 PM): Levy JihadJimmy (6:37:52 PM): start levy this saturday Rafterman (6:37:54 PM): longshore needs to conserve power for next season Rafterman (6:37:58 PM): haha Rafterman (6:38:09 PM): last I saw, we were favored by 28.5 JihadJimmy (6:38:12 PM): LOL JihadJimmy (6:38:16 PM): oh that's hilarious! JihadJimmy (6:38:27 PM): we're gonna stomp on stanfurd so hard Rafterman (6:38:42 PM): after losing to SC, the team should be pissed Rafterman (6:38:46 PM): and we're playing at home JihadJimmy (6:38:58 PM): oh our thug fans are gonna be pissed too Rafterman (6:39:12 PM): time for the players to pad their stats Rafterman (6:39:17 PM): 2 INT for Hughes Rafterman (6:39:21 PM): at least JihadJimmy (6:39:33 PM): although one of them, likely a filipino alum, will be satisfied and contented that we have accomplished our season goal of... Holiday Bowl! JihadJimmy (6:40:02 PM): that should be the slogan for Cal Football 2K7: "Holiday Bowl. No more, no less." Rafterman (6:42:48 PM): this year, we better win the holiday bowl

We didn't beat Stanfurd by 28-1/2 points. We beat them by 9. Shouldn't have been that close. Hughes didn't get 2 interceptions. Longshore had a completion percentage of under 50%. Lynch was held to under 70 yards? The game was a somewhat disappointing end to the regular college football season. And again, the Holiday Bowl is scheduled for the Thursday night after Christmas. I don't think I'll be able to watch the game, what with that pesky work thing and all...

Jihad Jimmy
Commissioner, SHoP Department of Recreational Sport (Non-nude)

Just when you thought that the Bay Area Left couldn't get any more unintelligible...

PREVIOUSLY ON THE SHoP...

Just when you thought San Franciscans couldn't get any more annoying...

THE FOLLOWING TAKES PLACE BETWEEN 2:00 AM AND 3:00 AM.

EVENTS OCCUR IN REAL TIME.

---

Been a while since the last Jack Bauer recap, huh? The last one was back on 16 October, when I was telling you wonderful Citizen SHoPpers to tune into John London's Inferno. And how many of you actually did? That's right. I didn't think so.

Anycrap, saw this on a car on my block, here in lovely Blue America. I'm blogging to you live from the safety of Fort Tio Jaime, your Red State Outpost in the Blue State Frontier.

I still don't get it. And now my brain hurts from trying to decode it...
Click to enlarge in new window

Perhaps I should've edited the photo, linkdump style? I wanted to put a hand-scrawled "WTF?" and and arrow pointing to the still-confusing catchphrase on the bumper sticker. But I don't seem to have a drawing program on this here ole TiBook. I'll probably download GIMP tomorrow...

Still, doesn't this sticker seem to address all of the people who promised people like me that they would leave the country if George W. Bush got elected/re-elected? We're still waiting. Instead of those stupid websites where people hold up signs apologizing to the rest of the world, how about one where people hold up signs apologizing to their fellow Americans for not leaving for Canada when they said they would?

Just more melodramatics and whining from the Left, I suppose. Like school lunches in 1995, or global cooling/warming/for-fuck's-sake-make-up-your-minds-already. Rest assured, Citizen SHoPpers, that when your Tio Jaime tells you that he's stockpiling ammunition in preparation for the Culture War turning into a shooting Civil War-- he's serious.

Although I'm not sure just how much of a war it'll be since here in the Blue State Frontier, I'm the one with the lone firearm... Are my Leftist neighbors gonna bend over and surrender France-style? I can only fit so many POW hippies-that-didn't-bother-to-grow-up in my little studio here.

As it's 3am here, I myself am now bordering on the very unintelligibility towards which I'm trying to draw your once-a-month Citizen SHoPper attention. So feel free to comment below on this post, or maybe even a post you saw on OTW Mark's page!

Yours,
Tio Jaime

<update time="0335">
OK. I did a little bit of digging on that bumper sticker, and apparently it's for some travel website? Fuckin' shit. I liked it better when it was unintelligible. However, this raises a few points:

1) Is it really a stretch of the imagination that some esoteric, Leftist website would be selling bumper stickers with a hazy, unfocused message understood only by a select, elitist cadre of five or six people?
2) Again, what kind of shitty bumper sticker requires you to find the logo/name/URL by examining the sticker at a distance of no more than two feet? Or examining it via high-resolution photo hosted on flickr.com? If it wasn't for irritable SHoP Overlords like myself, nobody would know about your fine print. Here's a freebie for next time: try a bumper sticker that says "lonelyplanet.com". Try a Courier font.
3) I bet this person not only voted for Gore and Kerry, but promised vehemently to his/her snivelling, whining Leftist comrades that he/she would be moving to Canada if Bush won. Hey shithead, your car is still on my block. Take CA-24 East to I-680 North to I-80 East to I-505 North to I-5 North through Oregon and Washington. Have fun with the metric system.
</update>

OK. This is just freakin' RAD. And some fantasy sports too...

I know I've said it before, but I'll say it again...

Found this on one of the linkdumps.

So it's come to this. I have to create a whole table with bgcolor=orange to get you to the random links I find
PUNCH OUT ROCK OUT MUSIC VIDEO

Although if you're a good Citizen SHoPper, you'll know that whenever your Tio Jaime says he found something on the linkdumps, it's usually pretty good. Lemme see if there's anything else out there for you...

OK, no linkdump stuff, but here's a site you should all sign up for so we can play. I've set up a League called "SixHertz House of Fantasy". My team is The Bloodpfharts and features Nancy Pelo-suck, Barbara Lee, and RINO-hottie Olympia Snowe (I've had somewhat of a hard-on for her since 1994).

Another table bgcolor=orange to grab your attention. Again, the header explaining the table will be longer than the actual link inside. Hopefully this won't be necessary a few posts down the line...
Fantasy Congress - Where People Play Politics!

Although I don't think there are drafting capabilities. I think you just pick your team and go. I'll open the league for play when I get a nice handful of teams.

OK back to work.

Tio Jaime
Comissioner, SHoP Department of Recreational Sport (Non-nude)

Go Down on a Bear, Arizona

Not too good of a day here in Golden Bear Nation.

No. 8 Bears Upended By Arizona, 24-20

That's just fucking great. Yes, Cal should've been able to punch it in for a TD from one yard out after that amazing catch by Hawkins on a play-action. And really, that 4-point differential between the TD we should've had and the FG we actually got was the goddam difference in the game...

...BUT IF CERTAIN REFEREES COULD NOT FUCK UP PASS INTERFERENCE CALLS, ARI-FUCKING-ZONA WOULDN'T HAVE SCORED THE GODDAM TYING TOUCHDOWN AND THE ACCOMPANYING MOMENTUM. FUCK.

Hughes said it right. Here's an excerpt from the yahoo! sports recap...

excerpt from NCAA Football - California Golden Bears/Arizona Wildcats Recap Saturday November 11, 2006 - Yahoo! Sports
"The whole game was like plays going their way," cornerback Daymeion Hughes said. "I was like, 'Man, this can't be real.'"

Holy Fucking Shit!!! You're goddam right they got all the plays going their way! They call pass interference on Hughes... they don't call pass interference on CamelToe or whatever his stupid Wildcat-Dumbfuck name is.

That's what his shitty name is? What the FUCK is a "syndric"? At least people have heard of a "Daymeion". Not so much a "Marshawn" or a "DeSean", no, but still... Syndric? That could've passed for the name of the cybernetics company they blew up in T2.

We're not gonna blow our wad and go straight to the Cal Bandsmen angry-chat... There are a few more gems from this shitty yahoo sports article, which are making me relive the horror and shittiness that was this afternoon. Read on, Citizen SHoPper...

more shit from the shitty yahoo! sports recap...
"It has been a long day, but it ended great," said Arizona coach Mike Stoops, who has beaten four ranked opponents in three seasons. "People rushing the field at the end, that's always a good sign."

Well you're just a huge fucking genius, aren't you? How the fuck did you beat Jeff Tedford? You don't hear Tedford saying stupid shit like that. Pigfucking Whore-izona trash.

Here's Hughes weighing in on the horseshit pass interference call I referenced earlier...

more shit from the shitty yahoo! sports recap...
"That play right there was crucial," Hughes said. "That's usually a no-call. It wasn't blatant. I was just going for the football." Two plays later, Arizona tailback Chris Henry scored on a 4-yard run to tie the game at 17-17.

Go watch the tape. He didn't push off any more than CamelToe did, and actually didn't even push off first. If you genuinely believe that was pass interference, stop reading now because you don't deserve a place at the grown-up table.

more shit from the shitty yahoo! sports recap...

On the next series, Longshore hit Hawkins behind the Arizona secondary. But with no one between him and the end zone, Hawkins stumbled at about the 10 and landed at the Wildcats' 1. Cal failed to score on two Marshawn Lynch runs and an incomplete pass and settled for a 20-yard field goal by Tom Schneider. The most painful play came on Cal's final thrust. Longshore hit Jackson for an apparent 63-yard touchdown pass with 2:18 to play. But the score was nullified by a video review, which showed that Jackson stepped out at Arizona's 41.

No, that wasn't the most painful play. That was obvious he stepped out-of-bounds. It really was more painful to watch the anemic offense fail to score from one yard out. Three times.

THREE FUCKING TIMES.

And this leads me to my favorite quote from the article, and is a wonderful segue into the chat!

more shit from the shitty yahoo! sports recap...

Or perhaps Cal didn't make enough plays. The Golden Bears came into this game averaging 36.3 points per game, tied with Oregon for most in the Pac-10. The Bears had the league's leading rusher, Lynch, and its most efficient passer, Longshore. But while Lynch rushed for 102 yards, the Bears never found an offensive rhythm. "You just have these games sometimes, and it was one of those games for us," Longshore said. "It's really nobody's fault. We just couldn't get anything going."

Thought this brand of excuse-making was only particular to the Trojans? Whatever happened to the Buck Stopping Here? Oh no, fuck that...

WTF kind of leader is that?

12:20 AM JihadJimmyMWCCDF: WTF?!? That fucking dick! JihadJimmyMWCCDF: "You just have these games sometimes, and it was one of those games for us," Longshore said. "It's really nobody's fault. We just couldn't get anything going." JihadJimmyMWCCDF: if you're the fucking QUARTERBACK, then it's YOUR GODDAM FAULT CalGlock: hahahah CalGlock: seriously JihadJimmyMWCCDF: WTF kind of leader is that? JihadJimmyMWCCDF: nobody's fault? WHO THREW THE THREE FUCKING INTERCEPTIONS? JihadJimmyMWCCDF: U of A had 10 points off of those interceptions JihadJimmyMWCCDF: and oh shit, they won by 4 CalGlock: yeah, really JihadJimmyMWCCDF: nobody's fault MY ASS

No "I" in "team"... Definitely an "I" in "FAILURE".

Also, "INTERCEPTIONS".

Also, a huge fucking "I" in "HOLIDAY BOWL", isn't there?

fucking lazy oregonians
12:25 AM JihadJimmyMWCCDF: oh and yay, Oregon lost to U$C CalGlock: hah CalGlock: only by A LOT JihadJimmyMWCCDF: fucking lazy oregonians CalGlock: yeah CalGlock: really JihadJimmyMWCCDF: stupid shits CalGlock: it's as if they freak out when they play good teams like us and U$C

U$C's gonna do the same exact thing to us next weekend when we mosey-on-down to the LA Coliseum to decide the Pac-10 championship... Gonna be a fucking bloodbath. Start making plans for the Holiday Bowl. But really, that's alright with me from a jilted-bandsman perspective...

these little shits don't deserve it

JihadJimmyMWCCDF: fuck it JihadJimmyMWCCDF: we ain't going to the rose bowl this year CalGlock: probably not JihadJimmyMWCCDF: that's fine JihadJimmyMWCCDF: i don't want Cal going to the Rose Bowl JihadJimmyMWCCDF: these little shits don't deserve it CalGlock: yeah CalGlock: The band doesn't deserve it CalGlock: they suck CalGlock: ex-comm sucks CalGlock: not while people I know are in band JihadJimmyMWCCDF: Cal can go to the Rose Bowl when my firstborn daughter is marching glockenspiel JihadJimmyMWCCDF: then and only then CalGlock: hehehe JihadJimmyMWCCDF: between now and then? that's a lot of filipino glocks that have to wait CalGlock: heheh

These little shits don't deserve it! Who paid the dues from 1997 through 2001? That was us, dude! Generation Tom. We should have free bear backer status for life. Or at least a discount. Prorate it according to the number of years Coach Tom was coaching while you were at Berkeley...

fuck Arizona, fuck these shitty referees

12:30 AM JihadJimmyMWCCDF: fuck Arizona, fuck these shitty referees CalGlock: yeah JihadJimmyMWCCDF: fuck it all... it was easier under tom holmoe. i knew what to expect JihadJimmyMWCCDF: when we lost? eh. no big deal. we always lose JihadJimmyMWCCDF: when we win? holy shit, we won! JihadJimmyMWCCDF: nowadays... when we win? Well, BFD, we're supposed to win and win big CalGlock: yeah, really CalGlock: we're spoiled! JihadJimmyMWCCDF: exactly JihadJimmyMWCCDF: that's why no rose bowl for us... until my daughter marches in the Tournament of Roses Parade CalGlock: hehehe JihadJimmyMWCCDF: oh shit... next saturday in the LA coliseum? we're fucked... holiday bowl here we come! JihadJimmyMWCCDF: yay! JihadJimmyMWCCDF: we're gonna lose Big Game 12:35 AM JihadJimmyMWCCDF: fuckin' stupid golden bears CalGlock: yeah.....really

Here we were, looking ahead to U$C... now nobody's looking ahead. We're all dreading Cal-U$C next weekend. We're gonna get creamed.

Go Bears, beat the spread!
Jihad Jimmy
Commissioner, SHoP Department of Recreational Sport (Non-nude)

Bears in Pearls Before Swine before Swine

In commemoration of the upcoming game between Cal (Tio Jaime's and LMHBrent's alma mater) and Arizona (Shiraz's alma mater), we have the following strip from OTW Mark favorite Pearls Before Swine

bodog.com is giving the wildcats an extra 14 points at home against the visiting #8 Golden Bears

I was preparing an election post, since I live a short bridge ride away from Nancy Pelo-suck's district... I got bored with it though. Let's just leave it at this...

Separated at Birth?

I like that one. It's a classic. Can be found on one of these SHoP archived posts... check em out as they all reference the future Shrieker of the House.

SHoP Talk
Democruds: If you want America to take you seriously, consider ditching Rep. Nancy Pelosi (CUNT - CA)
It's so farfetched, HFS, it's working right now as you read this!
Are you there God? It's me, Jihad Jimmy...

And then another Separated at Birth, featuring our favorite San Francisco C-bag...

Separated at Birth?

That last pair there? I was looking for one where she looked like James Cromwell (no offense, JC). Instead I found one where James Cromwell's partner there seems to fit the bill just a little bit better. What say you?

And interestingly enough, I came up with the post title before I found the Cromwell pic... I was relying on Nancy Pelo-skank to be the second "swine", but i found a pig that'll do. Heh. Ties it all in very nicely and makes me want to get a bacon sandwich.

You Make the Call! (Penis or Vagina? Edition)

Real simple, Citizen SHoPpers. Watch the video at the link below, decide whether or not this person bleeds from the crotch every month or so...

Bad Day at the Lube Shop - NothingToxic.com

The nature and purpose of this post? Mainly to spread the word of a funny video. Additionally, I'm just trying to toe the SHoP Line. We're all fortunate that my buddy SixHertz doesn't watch this like a hawk nowadays...

Jihad Jimmy, Minister of War Crimes and Chief Defender of the Faith

this is so shitty, i'm gonna go find that Pornographic Apathetic video for you... it has boobies, so you'll appreciate that

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Civil Engineering on a Pleasant Sun-dee Afternoon

If I don't post this now, I won't get around to it until next Sun-dee. But you'll want to read this now.

New to the SHoP? Man oh man did you pick the wrong post to hop aboard with...

well, really, i don't have a pair of scissors in my studio apartment

TioJaime (1:11:25 PM): i just trimmed my pubes in my office ProfShewseffi (1:11:33 PM): AAAAAAAAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHHAHA TioJaime (1:11:48 PM): granted, my door was closed, and my office is completely empty... it still felt very naughty ProfShewseffi (1:12:10 PM): that's ok ProfShewseffi (1:12:14 PM): one time i hated some guy TioJaime (1:12:20 PM): uh oh ProfShewseffi (1:12:22 PM): i felt the need to wipe my ass on his keyboard TioJaime (1:12:32 PM): oh that's not so bad ProfShewseffi (1:12:40 PM): that's ok ProfShewseffi (1:12:43 PM): i had sex at the office TioJaime (1:13:00 PM): with a girl? with a guy? with yourself? ProfShewseffi (1:13:05 PM): girl ProfShewseffi (1:13:12 PM): that is freaking funny james TioJaime (1:13:19 PM): the sex or the pubes? ProfShewseffi (1:13:20 PM): the pubes ProfShewseffi (1:13:25 PM): you felt the need to mow your lawn at the office ProfShewseffi (1:13:34 PM): you should sprinkle it on some ppl TioJaime (1:13:34 PM): well, really, i don't have a pair of scissors in my studio apartment ProfShewseffi (1:13:42 PM): HAHaHhahAHAhahahAHAHAHAHHAhaHAH ProfShewseffi (1:13:53 PM): i should quote you TioJaime (1:14:00 PM): just point people to my blog ProfShewseffi (1:14:07 PM): you talked about it?? TioJaime (1:14:13 PM): no, i'll put this up on the blog ProfShewseffi (1:14:13 PM): dood have you thought about jerking it at the office TioJaime (1:14:21 PM): i always think about that. even at church ProfShewseffi (1:14:23 PM): and the putting the cum in the office creamer? TioJaime (1:14:30 PM): oh. no. that's kinda disturbing TioJaime (1:14:42 PM): that's also why i don't drink the coffee

You can't make this stuff up. Sometimes I tell myself, this is not my beautiful stapler it's the Jimmy who made Berkeley Engineering so degenerate. But with buddies like Professor Shewseffi and LMHBrent, maybe it's the other way around.

It could be the Southern Californian who brings out the perverted side of Berkeley Engineering. Never thought I'd say this, but we need more Berkeley Engineers to come to the SHoP so we can figure out the Circle of Perversion.

you almost got pwnd

TioJaime (1:22:11 PM): OH SHIT THERE'S SOMEBODY IN MY OFFICE ProfShewseffi (1:22:28 PM): what?!?! ProfShewseffi (1:22:35 PM): YOU FUCKING TRIMMED WITH PPL THERE?! TioJaime (1:22:55 PM): FUCK!!! one of the senior dudes came in to use the copier!! TioJaime (1:22:59 PM): good thing my door was closed ProfShewseffi (1:23:18 PM): you almost got pwnd TioJaime (1:23:22 PM): oh my TioJaime (1:23:35 PM): that would've made an even better post, though... ProfShewseffi (1:24:14 PM): HAhaHAHAHHAHAa ProfShewseffi (1:24:18 PM): you almost got pwnd ProfShewseffi (1:24:19 PM): imagine that ProfShewseffi (1:24:25 PM): you are mowing your lawn ProfShewseffi (1:24:32 PM): and then all of a sudden while you're holding out some pubes ProfShewseffi (1:24:39 PM): your boss walks in

Golf-Foxtrot wasn't phased at all when I told her this story. She somewhat expects this of me nowadays. I told her to check the SHoP later, as the depravity would find itself in SHoP-post form sooner or later. My only regret is that it's so far on the Later end of the spectrum, she's asleep.

She said she's quitting her job tomorrow. Could be an interesting week.

OK must sleep now. Big week ahead.

Tio Jaime

WSJ Article: Bears Dressed Up As Elephants

No, this is not an article on animal-style halloween, but it definitely brought me more treat than trick as I read it. You see, both Tio Jaime and I graduated from UC Berkeley, one of the more renowned liberal campuses (campi) in this country. Needless to say, during my time there, I felt isolated in that sense (perhaps Tio Jaime did as well). So it's a breath of fresh air to read about political groups like BCR becoming more mainstream.

Go Bears! Beat 'em Huskies!

i should probably rewatch the second episode

I'd post recaps for this show and also for Fri-dee Night Lights, except I just don't seem to care. Fri-dee Night Shitpile is taking a shit on itself (right now, as a matter of fact, it's Tuesday 24 October), and I keep sleeping through The Nine. Go look at the time stamps below.

Jihad Jimmy, Minister of War Crimes and Chief Defender of the Faith

Live 3am Criticism of The Nine with Tio Jaime falling asleep

You are now in chat room "TheNine." JihadJimmyMWCCDF has entered the chat room. JihadJimmyMWCCDF (9:51:42 PM): hello dere JihadJimmyMWCCDF (9:51:48 PM): about nine minutes before The Nine JihadJimmyMWCCDF (9:52:12 PM): not that i've posted up episode two yet... JihadJimmyMWCCDF (10:00:16 PM): was gonna finish working out, but i had to take a major dump JihadJimmyMWCCDF (10:01:01 PM): hmm i kinda fell asleep during last week's episode... i wonder if i missed anything important JihadJimmyMWCCDF (10:01:04 PM): here we go JihadJimmyMWCCDF (10:02:10 PM): "what's your emergency?" JihadJimmyMWCCDF (10:02:20 PM): Hour 1, 3:07pm JihadJimmyMWCCDF (10:04:47 PM): black chick on the move! JihadJimmyMWCCDF (10:04:57 PM): yeah right how'd she know when to move JihadJimmyMWCCDF (10:06:33 PM): i should probably rewatch the second episode JihadJimmyMWCCDF (10:10:58 PM): 13 Days Later... JihadJimmyMWCCDF (10:14:49 PM): people still acting weird, jimmy still left in the dark JihadJimmyMWCCDF (10:24:07 PM): and teh doctor is wearing makeup JihadJimmyMWCCDF (10:29:59 PM): sllowing down, falling asleep JihadJimmyMWCCDF (11:57:50 PM): whoops fell asleep JihadJimmyMWCCDF has left the chat room.

Wow, that 3amC was a lot shorter than I thought... and this episode of Fri-dee Night Pukefest is a lot shittier than i imagined it could be

wow. they're breaking up. somewhere, along the way, they forgot to try to get us to care

I'm still not through all the stupid episodes of Fri-dee Night Diarrhea? I guess not.

New episode's on, gonna finish publishing this and The Nine.

And now i'm remembering how stupid this show is. But at least it has bikini chicks.

Jihad Jimmy, Minister of War Crimes and Chief Defender of the Faith

Live 3am Criticism of Fri-dee Night Lights

You are now in chat room "FrideeNightLights." JihadJimmyMWCCDF has entered the chat room. JihadJimmyMWCCDF (8:01:39 PM): hello dere JihadJimmyMWCCDF (8:02:26 PM): OK so i placed a premium on peeing over starting up the chatroom JihadJimmyMWCCDF (8:03:23 PM): 3rd and goal from the 9 JihadJimmyMWCCDF (8:03:27 PM): of course they're gonna win JihadJimmyMWCCDF (8:04:47 PM): wow and magically the stadium is outside his hospital windo JihadJimmyMWCCDF (8:05:38 PM): Tim McGraw in Flicka! JihadJimmyMWCCDF (8:10:26 PM): right, because people in Texas drive camrys JihadJimmyMWCCDF has left the chat room.

Live 3am Criticism of Fri-dee Night Lights, continued. Looks like the 3amC was open for The Unit as well...

8:21 PM JihadJimmyMWCCDF: OK this sucks JihadJimmyMWCCDF: my stupid AIM isn't working JihadJimmyMWCCDF: you didn't miss much... just stupid HS shit under the guise of a good story 8:25 PM JihadJimmyMWCCDF: wow. they're breaking up. somewhere, along the way, they forgot to try to get us to care 8:35 PM JihadJimmyMWCCDF: oh hey, you're still here? JihadJimmyMWCCDF: like anybody cares 8:45 PM JihadJimmyMWCCDF: this is stupid JihadJimmyMWCCDF: now they're running sprints JihadJimmyMWCCDF: in the middle of the night JihadJimmyMWCCDF: in the rain JihadJimmyMWCCDF: up and down a muddy hill JihadJimmyMWCCDF: OK and now they stole this shit from that hockey movie 8:50 PM JihadJimmyMWCCDF: la la la, life is over, now he's dumping his hottie GF JihadJimmyMWCCDF: stupid little shit of a girl JihadJimmyMWCCDF: OK this is stupid too... JihadJimmyMWCCDF: "you walk home, we'll call it even" JihadJimmyMWCCDF: what a stupid TV show JihadJimmyMWCCDF: maybe this chick will die in a car accident JihadJimmyMWCCDF: or maybe she'll pick up the drunk and kill them both! JihadJimmyMWCCDF: oh just hit her 8:55 PM JihadJimmyMWCCDF: like nobody saw this coming? wonderful, they're kissing JihadJimmyMWCCDF: for fuck's sake, get back to the football JihadJimmyMWCCDF: oh, now they have EITS... Your Hand in Mine 9:00 PM JihadJimmyMWCCDF: Fri-dee Night Shitfest JihadJimmyMWCCDF: and now here's The Unit 9:05 PM JihadJimmyMWCCDF: unfortunately AIM still sucks JihadJimmyMWCCDF: oops, Humvee's under water 9:20 PM JihadJimmyMWCCDF: Ok gonna work out 11:15 PM JihadJimmyMWCCDF: oh shit, you still here? TV tonight kinda sucked

ha ha, your BF's a cripple

Posting this late. There's a new episode of Fri-dee Night Lights in about 11 minutes. Maybe if you're lucky, I'll have gone back and fixed the link to the future post.

Not that anybody reads the SHoP, let alone follows the links which I so carefully hunt the archives for, finding just the perfect SHoP post to fit the occasion.

Jihad Jimmy, Minister of War Crimes and Chief Defender of the Faith

3am Criticism of Fri-dee Night Lights on stupid NBC

You are now in chat room "FrideeNightCrapfest." JihadJimmyMWCCDF has entered the chat room. JihadJimmyMWCCDF (10:30:33 PM): hello dere JihadJimmyMWCCDF (10:30:45 PM): this is last week's episode of Fri-dee Night Lights JihadJimmyMWCCDF (10:32:45 PM): blah blah blah, stupid tv show JihadJimmyMWCCDF (10:32:47 PM): SUN-DEE JihadJimmyMWCCDF (10:33:21 PM): wacky protestants JihadJimmyMWCCDF (10:35:32 PM): FRI-DEE NIGHT LIGHTS JihadJimmyMWCCDF (10:36:34 PM): MON-DEE JihadJimmyMWCCDF (10:36:39 PM): ooh cheer-chick JihadJimmyMWCCDF (10:37:02 PM): ooh, UC San Diego JihadJimmyMWCCDF (10:37:30 PM): (you can't tell, but that was sarcasm) JihadJimmyMWCCDF (10:42:12 PM): great. chicks talking football to mrs. Coach JihadJimmyMWCCDF (10:42:56 PM): this TV show would make a great movie if they took the chicks out JihadJimmyMWCCDF (10:43:16 PM): whoa, is that tristin from Beauty and the Geek? JihadJimmyMWCCDF (10:48:19 PM): TUES-DEE JihadJimmyMWCCDF (10:48:41 PM): OK and now i'm rewinding to see who that chick was JihadJimmyMWCCDF (10:48:43 PM): the pepette JihadJimmyMWCCDF (10:59:35 PM): so far, this sucks JihadJimmyMWCCDF (10:59:40 PM): WEDNES-DEE JihadJimmyMWCCDF (10:59:45 PM): oh, yeah... NBC JihadJimmyMWCCDF (11:05:25 PM): THURS-DEE JihadJimmyMWCCDF (11:05:32 PM): oh, and that street kid won't walk again? JihadJimmyMWCCDF (11:05:35 PM): something like that JihadJimmyMWCCDF (11:05:54 PM): he's paralyzed, will regain upper body... not his legs JihadJimmyMWCCDF (11:07:32 PM): ha ha, your BF's a cripple JihadJimmyMWCCDF (11:07:47 PM): and he's dumping you? JihadJimmyMWCCDF (11:08:10 PM): dumb whore JihadJimmyMWCCDF (11:08:12 PM): DUMB WHORE JihadJimmyMWCCDF (11:08:14 PM): WHORE JihadJimmyMWCCDF (11:08:17 PM): STFU WHORE JihadJimmyMWCCDF (11:08:41 PM): Your Hand in Mine! JihadJimmyMWCCDF (11:08:54 PM): go check out my myspace page for this song... JihadJimmyMWCCDF (11:09:10 PM): oh, Explosions in the Sky is coming to town the week after UCLA JihadJimmyMWCCDF (11:17:18 PM): that was stupid JihadJimmyMWCCDF (11:17:30 PM): HOW MUCH DO YOU WANT IT? JihadJimmyMWCCDF (11:17:34 PM): WHO'RE YOU? JihadJimmyMWCCDF (11:17:39 PM): that was fucking stupid JihadJimmyMWCCDF (11:20:05 PM): did i miss fri-dee? JihadJimmyMWCCDF (11:20:16 PM): it's the cheer-skank's dad JihadJimmyMWCCDF (11:20:30 PM): ooh cake JihadJimmyMWCCDF (11:21:16 PM): maybe she'll choke her cripple BF w/a cookie JihadJimmyMWCCDF (11:23:49 PM): Eyes Wide Open JihadJimmyMWCCDF (11:23:58 PM): wonderful... what a shitty episode JihadJimmyMWCCDF (11:24:16 PM): well that's shit JihadJimmyMWCCDF (11:24:31 PM): they cut off the episode right as they're kicking off??? JihadJiimmyMWCCDF has left the chat room.

Ya got two hours. No excuses this time.

PREVIOUSLY ON THE SHoP...

I AM A BADASS BUDDING RADIOPHILE
Eastmost Peninsula is the Secret
You're on the air with KJIMMY
DRY MOIST HUMP LOAF
I AM STILL A BADASS BUDDING RADIOPHILE
Take a shit on my Radio-Parade, why don't you...
BOYCOTT FREEFM 106.9 KIFR!!!
Back to the Basics...

THE FOLLOWING TAKES PLACE BETWEEN 2:00 PM AND 3:00 PM.

EVENTS OCCUR IN REAL TIME.

---

We're under two hours away from the Second Coming of John London's Inferno. I'm streaming a station from Pennsylvania right now, listening to D&M waiting for 4pm PDT to roll around.

Go check out these two sites, the first is the official site, the second is the forum set up back in April when this whole C-fuck began.

John London's Inferno (official site)
John London's Inferno - A Fansite for John London's Inferno

I'm on the forums. Sometimes making useful contributions, other times not. Thus is the nature of your Favorite SHoP Overlord. Go read some of the Tio Jaime posts up in the recap above (by jack bauer) for some more background info.

How about i fucking tell you how to listen to the stream? Go to the forums (the second link, the fansite) and find it there. The official site is somewhat convoluted, I think... Anyway, check it out, you'll like it. And practice the radio rebus, so i can kick your asses.

In other budding radio-phile news, I listened to Opie and Anthony this morning. Was nothing to write home about.

Tio Jaime

OK i woke up to a herpes commecial

I'm a bit late with this 3am Criticism, sorry. It looks like this was before Vicetivus. But really, you won't be able to tell the difference anyway, Citizen SHoPper, because today's the 24th, and this is being published several posts below the current ones.

Not sure why i'm falling asleep during the episodes, they're only on at 10pm. Hmmm. I really should catch up with the episodes online...

Jihad Jimmy, Minister of War Crimes and Chief Defender of the Faith

Dual, Live 3am Criticism of Episode Two of The Nine

You are now in chat room "TheNine." JihadJimmyMWCCDF has entered the chat room. JihadJimmyMWCCDF (10:00:12 PM): hello dere CalGlock has entered the chat room. JihadJimmyMWCCDF (10:00:20 PM): maybe i shouldn't be watching the end of Lost JihadJimmyMWCCDF (10:00:23 PM): yo whattup CalGlock (10:00:37 PM): I'm knitting a scarf :-) CalGlock (10:00:45 PM): http://www.craftychickonline.com/Knit%20Star%20Scarf.htm JihadJimmyMWCCDF (10:00:47 PM): sweet JihadJimmyMWCCDF (10:01:06 PM): hey that's kinda cool JihadJimmyMWCCDF (10:01:10 PM): ooh here we go CalGlock (10:01:15 PM): yay! JihadJimmyMWCCDF (10:01:30 PM): 52 HOURS LATER CalGlock (10:01:52 PM): such a random number JihadJimmyMWCCDF (10:02:00 PM): or maybe it isn't... CalGlock (10:02:17 PM): the next "42"? JihadJimmyMWCCDF (10:02:57 PM): "Heroes Welcome" CalGlock (10:03:22 PM): ooohhh "Hour One" JihadJimmyMWCCDF (10:03:54 PM): that chick looks like a big horse CalGlock (10:04:12 PM): ohh, the one with the crazy mother? JihadJimmyMWCCDF (10:04:21 PM): ya JihadJimmyMWCCDF (10:04:35 PM): i just farted CalGlock (10:04:39 PM): lol JihadJimmyMWCCDF (10:05:26 PM): so far, this is better than the first episode CalGlock (10:05:33 PM): yeah JihadJimmyMWCCDF (10:05:55 PM): 11 Days Later CalGlock (10:06:24 PM): I wonder if they're going to do a summary of each hour they spent in the bank in each episode. CalGlock (10:06:31 PM): Oh, this is what you totally called last week. JihadJimmyMWCCDF (10:07:43 PM): OK, so far this is pretty good CalGlock (10:07:48 PM): yeah JihadJimmyMWCCDF (10:08:01 PM): Chrissy missed the first five minutes... JihadJimmyMWCCDF (10:08:10 PM): she wanted to know what the black chick said to the white dude JihadJimmyMWCCDF (10:08:18 PM): but she didn't really say anything anyway... CalGlock (10:08:41 PM): yeah JihadJimmyMWCCDF (10:09:43 PM): ooh, Ugly Betty! CalGlock (10:09:50 PM): ghahaha CalGlock (10:09:59 PM): is Ugly Betty any good? JihadJimmyMWCCDF (10:10:03 PM): it's a pretty cool show... check out the first two episodes online... JihadJimmyMWCCDF (10:10:07 PM): ya, i liked it CalGlock (10:10:11 PM): I think I might CalGlock (10:10:14 PM): ohh, it's starting again CalGlock (10:10:43 PM): hahahaha CalGlock (10:10:55 PM): I guess you can't really hide being preggy JihadJimmyMWCCDF (10:11:26 PM): i like this white chick better than the horse-face chick CalGlock (10:11:33 PM): hehe JihadJimmyMWCCDF (10:12:56 PM): yeah that was subtle CalGlock (10:13:05 PM): hahah CalGlock (10:13:23 PM): It's Neelix!! JihadJimmyMWCCDF (10:13:31 PM): LOL CalGlock (10:13:58 PM): "HOW did you do that?" JihadJimmyMWCCDF (10:18:44 PM): shiti'm falling asleep CalGlock (10:18:55 PM): Food coma? JihadJimmyMWCCDF (10:19:29 PM): no just not enough sleep JihadJimmyMWCCDF (10:19:33 PM): what happened? i just missd it CalGlock (10:19:39 PM): Nick just quit JihadJimmyMWCCDF (10:19:46 PM): why's that? CalGlock (10:20:04 PM): The police department asked him to make a statement that the negotiators and stuff "did a good job" CalGlock (10:20:56 PM): so he was like, "That's crap," and turned in his badge JihadJimmyMWCCDF (10:21:14 PM): ahh OK JihadJimmyMWCCDF (10:26:59 PM): i keep falling asleep CalGlock (10:28:09 PM): ah, so the police is framing the cop now CalGlock (10:28:34 PM): wake up!!!!! CalGlock (10:28:43 PM): what time did you wake up this morning? CalGlock (10:28:50 PM): better yet, what time did you go to sleep last night JihadJimmyMWCCDF (10:29:01 PM): huh JihadJimmyMWCCDF (10:29:11 PM): went to sleep around 2am JihadJimmyMWCCDF (10:29:18 PM): got up around 630am CalGlock (10:29:34 PM): ewww CalGlock (10:30:48 PM): wait...having your guy be an exercise fanatic hurts your chances of having kids? CalGlock (10:30:53 PM): bad times JihadJimmyMWCCDF (10:30:56 PM): huh? JihadJimmyMWCCDF (10:31:03 PM): did i miss something? CalGlock (10:31:04 PM): Channel 7 newsflash JihadJimmyMWCCDF (10:31:12 PM): fell asleep, i guess CalGlock (10:31:21 PM): drink water CalGlock (10:33:00 PM): wow, highschools with laptops? JihadJimmyMWCCDF (10:33:34 PM): oh my old school does that now... so does my cousin's HS in San Jose CalGlock (10:34:14 PM): wow. My old high school can't even afford updates books. CalGlock (10:35:18 PM): Are you serious? They play classical music while in the operating room? JihadJimmyMWCCDF (10:35:37 PM): they play all kinds of music during operations... according to TV CalGlock (10:39:01 PM): hah CalGlock (10:39:28 PM): because TV always accurately depicts reality JihadJimmyMWCCDF (10:49:25 PM): OK i woke up to a herpes commecial CalGlock (10:50:30 PM): lol CalGlock (10:51:11 PM): what song is this? CalGlock (10:51:43 PM): we played this my newman year JihadJimmyMWCCDF (10:55:15 PM): was that the security guard? CalGlock (10:55:31 PM): the one in the bed? CalGlock (10:55:37 PM): or the one who died? JihadJimmyMWCCDF (10:55:39 PM): the one who just died CalGlock (10:55:44 PM): not sure CalGlock (10:58:35 PM): oh crap CalGlock (10:59:58 PM): oh you can watch it again on ABC.com JihadJimmyMWCCDF (11:00:06 PM): ya,i'll probably end up doing that JihadJimmyMWCCDF (11:00:33 PM): shit, i slept through most of it JihadJimmyMWCCDF (11:01:08 PM): OK dude, will be here next week... JihadJimmyMWCCDF has left the chat room. CalGlock has left the chat room.

Gooks with Nukes!

Absolutely nothing of substance to say here. Just wanted to get in on the ground floor with the racial epithet humor...

I told SHoP Overlord SixHertz to post something with this post title, as I was dropping the kids off at the pool, and he had immediate internet(s) access. But then we remembered that he's the White SHoP Overlord, and I'm one of the two Oriental SHoP Overlords. So better that I do it.

If I had more time, I'd go into how I would've voted for McCain over Bush in 2000 because he was ballsy/crazy enough to use the word "gook" on the campaign trail until he retracted. And after that, I'd justify the use of "oriental" when referring to us wacky Filipinos.

Alas, no time. Must get some shit done while the state staff is out for Columbus Day.

Jihad Jimmy, Minister of War Crimes and Chief Defender of the Faith

It's Saturday Morning, Citizen SHoPpers!!!

Will hold off on a review of The Departed for right now, in lieu of some action in the SixHertz House of Sport. Watching Newsradio right now, gonna watch the St. Louis Cardinals sweep the San Diego Padres in a bit. Finish up my laundry, eventually head over to the Cal-Oregon game. Wasn't supposed to go, but my friend had an extra ticket so now i get to go and watch #11 Oregon play #16 Cal. Good shit.

But first, some chat...

there were alot of orientals @ the movie last night

9:05 AM TioJaime: yo! Rafterman: yo! Rafterman: did you get a ticket for today's game? TioJaime: i might have a ticket to Cal-Oregon! Rafterman: NICE!!! TioJaime: but i may have already promised to watch with kasha TioJaime: gotta call her to find out Rafterman: alright TioJaime: and if i used the ticket, i'd have to sit w/band friends for a bit... Rafterman: you should go Rafterman: if you can TioJaime: i'll just wait until the frat boys and sorority skanks around you guys leave early to go to Raleigh's TioJaime: oh dude, go watch The Departed Rafterman: I'll give em a gamecube and some natty ice Rafterman: they can play amongst themselves TioJaime: oh bro! that'd be SWEET Rafterman: yeah, the Departed looks good TioJaime: i watched some more of those videos from the bro rape guys... Rafterman: I want to see the original too TioJaime: they're pretty good Rafterman: the Departed is based on this hong kong movie called "Infernal Affairs" TioJaime: ya Rafterman: supposed to be good TioJaime: there were alot of orientals @ the movie last night Rafterman: haha

orientals, and women who go "awwww" when beloved characters die. That's fucking annoying. Back to the football.

go bells!
9:15 AM Rafterman: wow, minnesota lost in three straight games Rafterman: http://mercextra.com/blogs/hssports/2006/10/06/bells-route-no-1-mitty/ Rafterman: go bells!

The astute Citizen SHoPper will know that one SHoP Overlord went to Bellarmine Prep, and another SHoP Overlord (or Overlady) went to the school that lost to Bellarmine.

oh dude, go bells!
Rafterman: http://mercextra.com/blogs/collegesports/2006/10/06/hey-cal-fans-i-dont-hate-your-team/ TioJaime: brb laundry 9:20 AM Rafterman: this guy pisses me off, but he's kind of right 9:25 AM TioJaime: ya TioJaime: the one comment there seems to be some disgruntled SJSU kid TioJaime: oh dude, go bells!

I just finally got around to reading the article about the Bellarmine/Mitty game. Who won that now? I forget... any idea, Local Area Blog/Internet Admin SixHertz?

And if my memory serves me correctly, Bill Frist's bill doesn't become law until President Bush signs it, according to those groovy Satur-dee morning cartoon PSAs. So here, I'm betting against my alma mater. I still want us to win, but by no more than 5.

And wonderful. The Cardinals/Padres game is on ESPN2, and Tio Jaime dun't get that channel.

Watching Terminator 2 again, gonna work out.

Tio Jaime
Commissioner, SHoP Department of Recreational Sport (Non-nude)

ps- one of my favorite lines from the movie...
John Connor: Jesus, you were gonna kill that guy!
T-800: Of course. I'm a Terminator.

Thanks for the mammaries

See what happens when I post politics nowadays? OTW Mark and friedwire stop cussing at each other and calling each other names. So here's an experiment. I'm going back to posting what I know best.



Or it's just an excuse to post a movie involving two things which as a gender we men should hold dear. The Price is Right... and boobies.

I guess that makes it three things then?

Jihad Jimmy, Minister of War Crimes and Chief Defender of the Faith

Keep Waiting, Cheesedicks

It was only a matter of time before my new neighbor parked her yellow VW bug on my line-- my old one moved away, thank God. I walk into my apartment building's lobby to check my mail and see that some Leftist Degenerate poster is telling me to ditch work and go to some dirty, San Francisco Protest.

The poster used to be here...

Click to enlarge in new window

This is right above the table where our magazines and packages are left by our studious mail carrier. (How's that for a SHoP cross-reference? That one predates even myself. Cool shit, huh? --TJ)

I ripped the poster off, crumpled it up and threw it into the bin where we put our junk mail. Went to my apartment, realized I wanted the poster for the SHoP. Took my camera, fished it out of the bin, put it up on my refrigerator.

Click to enlarge in new window

Note the GWB magnet and the SF 49ers schedule magnet. And if you're a recently married, astute SHoP Overlord (or Overlady), you'll notice a certain "Save the Date" magnet just barely peeking out from the upper right hand corner of the poster.

They have their misconceived notions about Free Speech, I have mine. And yes, Citizen SHoPpers, to these Leftists, the drowning out of somebody's message constitutes Free Speech. I'm only stealing a play right out of their own playbooks.

The post title is in response to their nonsensical "The World Can't Wait" mantra. If the world really couldn't wait, I wouldn't be here in the office on a fine Fri-dee morning. I'd be barricaded in some compound with other right-minded americans under fire from the self-flagellating, America-hating Leftists.

oh, and blah blah blah, if i really loved and supported the war i'd go over there and fight it myself, la la la. Chickenhawk this, cowboy diplomacy that. Did I leave anything out?

Jihad Jimmy, Minister of War Crimes and Chief Defender of the Faith

ps- check out zombietime.com for more details on this rally which was announced. He's always good for some pics of degenerate, anti-semitic leftists who don't have the inconvenience of jobs such that they can attend rallies in the middle of the workweek.

This just in: Democrats Too Shitty To Have Focused Message, Voters Too Ignorant To Care

First runner-up post title:

THE DEMOCRATS PREY ON YOUR STUPIDITY

Sound familiar, Citizen SHoPpers?

Found this article here on yahoo!, pulled it off the Reuters site...

Democrats use strategy of ambiguity on Iraq: experts

Hmm. Not sure exactly where to start. Should we be embarrassed that ambiguity is being incorporated as the platform for what is likely the major issue in this midterm election? Should we be embarrassed that a major political party is willing to use something like this war in Iraq as a means to a political end? Should we be embarrassed that "experts" have wasted time to come to a conclusion like "Democrats are ambiguous" when any one of your SHoP Overlords (or Overlady) could've told you the exact same thing.

(OK, upon further review, looks like the GOP has become somewhat wishy-washy in exchange for a broader appeal when it comes to normally black-and-white issues like abortion and smaller government. No need to point it out again in the comments, as I've already trolled myself.)

Let's take a look at a few excerpts. Let's have a look-see...

Lowery is not alone. Only a quarter of Americans think Democrats in the Congress have a clear plan for Iraq, far less than the 36 percent who believe the president has one, a USA Today/Gallup poll in mid-September found. But experts said the lack of a clear Democratic plan made no difference at all to most voters. Ambiguity has been part of the Democratic strategy on Iraq all along and has worked quite well, they said.

So somebody's unenviable solution isn't too much better than somebody else's vague and likely shitty one? That's what the American People are saying. And this is why I'll tell you again, THE DEMOCRATS PREY ON YOUR STUPIDITY.

Am I saying that Bush and the administration's policies are the end-all, be-all, fix-all solution for Iraq? No. That's not the issue here. Don't let any trolls try to tell you it is. Besides, unless you've just come out of a coma, your mind is made up. Either you've thought from the beginning that the President is working towards security, or you don't. I'm not here to talk about Bush. What good will that do?

The issue, as Your Favorite SHoP Overlord is drawing it up, is that THE DEMOCRATS PREY ON YOUR STUPIDITY. That's it. Plain and simple. Here, read another excerpt. You tell me that this degenerocrat isn't hoping people won't wise up and realize that his Leftist pigfuckers don't have anything to bring to the table...

He cited the Pennsylvania race for the U.S. Senate as an example. The Democratic challenger, Bob Casey, running against Republican incumbent Rick Santorum, has opposed the status quo but been vague about what to do about Iraq.

Well that sounds downright shitty. Unfortunately this kind of ignorance trickles-down to the common Degenerocrats with whom I have the utmost pleasure of interacting here in the Red State Outpost in the Blue State Frontier.

Ignoramus Degenerocrat: Bush lied! People died! Republicans suck!
Jihad Jimmy: Do you know how much worse off we would've been if Gore or Kerry had been elected?
Ignoramus Degenerocrat: If you're so into this war, you should enlist right now! And take the Bush daughters with you!
Jihad Jimmy: Umm, you didn't really answer my question...
Ignoramus Degenerocrat: Republicans aren't about dialogue! Republicans aren't for anything but war!
Jihad Jimmy: OK. So what are the Democrats for?

(A beat.)

Ignoramus Degenerocrat: Bush lied! People died! Republicans suck!

Oh, how I wish I was kidding. I actually spruced up the ID's side a bit to make it somewhat intelligible. But enough of that. Let's get back to nonsensical rambling...

While Democrats have not unified behind a specific plan on Iraq, political analysts say the outlines of a Democratic position are clearly visible in the different proposals. The main thrust is a redeployment, or withdrawal, of U.S. forces from Iraq sooner rather than later.

Oh. So, ummm... Like a retreat?

"An orderly phase-out is basically what the John Kerrys and some of the others are calling for," said Vincent Hutchings, an associate professor of political science at the University of Michigan, referring to the Massachusetts senator who lost to Bush in the 2004 presidential election.

Oh. So an orderly retreat. OK, that sounds sufficiently double-speaky to be a Democratic "solution".

External link mine, btw. Reuters didn't think enough to link to the SHoP.

They have tried to address the issue by fielding candidates with military credentials, said Cal Jillson, a professor of political science at Southern Methodist University in Dallas.

Of course. How did that John Kerry guy work out for you? Not so good?

One more quote from Professor Cal Whats-his-face from SMU...

"So their strategy is just not to do anything that will allow the Republicans to paint them as not dependable with the safety of the American public."

Well, really, we dastardly Republicans don't need too much more than a half-empty nail polish bottle full of paint to complete that imagery. I mean shit, with Senators who compare our soldiers to Nazi prison guards, or with former presidents who are on record as hating the military? I wouldn't look down upon any Degenerocrat who took a stand and said, "I have my loyalties to my constituents, but holy shit, you ignorant little fuckers don't have any fucking clue what security is all about, do you?"

Seriously, break it down even closer-to-home... who would you rather have help you defend your family and the rest of your shit if some invading force was working its way through the Blue State Frontier? Some doofus hipster with a stylish Che Guevara t-shirt and Peace buttons on his messenger bag? Or would you want Tio Jaime and his 12-gauge and his stockpiled Wal-Mart shotgun shells? Would you want some gay Vespa, or do you want to mount a huge fucking gun in my truck bed so we can shoot at the HK Aerials who are trying to terminate us?

It's late now. I'm putting on Terminator 2, going to sleep.

Jihad Jimmy, Minister of War Crimes and Chief Defender of the Faith

dude, if they'd let Jack Bauer get in there.. would've been finished 28 hours earlier

OK so the show is expectedly confusing for the first episode. It'll get better. And MwHCock and myself are proudly In on the Ground Floor.

Falling asleep at my keyboard, so I'll end here. If they replay this episode of The Nine, go check it out whilst you read this 3amC...

Jihad Jimmy, Minister of War Crimes and Chief Defender of the Faith

Dual, Live 3am Criticism of ABC's The Nine, Series Premiere!

You are now in chat "NinerNayshun." JihadJimmyMWCCDF has entered the chat room. JihadJimmyMWCCDF (9:54:52 PM): hello dere MwHCock has entered the chat room. JihadJimmyMWCCDF (9:55:25 PM): howdy JihadJimmyMWCCDF (9:55:57 PM): we got about 4 mins until Lost is over MwHCock (9:55:58 PM): yo yo yo MwHCock (9:56:01 PM): ok MwHCock (9:56:05 PM): tell me when it's over MwHCock (9:56:13 PM): i don't want to see it, i'm dvr'ing it JihadJimmyMWCCDF (9:56:19 PM): this is the season premiere you don't want to see, ya? MwHCock (9:56:49 PM): i still have to see last season finale JihadJimmyMWCCDF (9:56:50 PM): Dude, this one blond chick is talkign to this guy and she's waving a big, black dildo at him?!? JihadJimmyMWCCDF (9:57:06 PM): that's not cool, bro MwHCock (9:57:55 PM): it's ok MwHCock (9:58:02 PM): does she have a can of axe JihadJimmyMWCCDF (9:58:09 PM): no, just a gamecube MwHCock (9:58:19 PM): 'cause sometimes i like to smell like an axe JihadJimmyMWCCDF (9:58:36 PM): this show Lost, is it some all-you-can-rape buffet? MwHCock (10:00:04 PM): chad loves it MwHCock (10:00:16 PM): oh man MwHCock (10:00:21 PM): this is gonna be awesome bro MwHCock (10:00:30 PM): i got some schotch JihadJimmyMWCCDF (10:00:31 PM): OK lost is done MwHCock (10:00:36 PM): scotch JihadJimmyMWCCDF (10:00:36 PM): oh wait, preview first MwHCock (10:00:52 PM): here, drink some and we can put it away JihadJimmyMWCCDF (10:01:03 PM): here's The Nine JihadJimmyMWCCDF (10:01:27 PM): Fidelity Republic Bank MwHCock (10:01:27 PM): i'm on it MwHCock (10:01:36 PM): hey MwHCock (10:01:40 PM): it's the guy from Go MwHCock (10:01:49 PM): he was a fag in that movie JihadJimmyMWCCDF (10:01:51 PM): didn't see it MwHCock (10:01:57 PM): and he was in party of five with the guy from lost JihadJimmyMWCCDF (10:02:02 PM): ahh JihadJimmyMWCCDF (10:02:14 PM): Lord Volde-megan loved party of five MwHCock (10:02:21 PM): never saw it JihadJimmyMWCCDF (10:02:28 PM): at one point, they took her exit on CA-24 MwHCock (10:02:40 PM): thought Jennifer Love Hewitt has nice boobs JihadJimmyMWCCDF (10:02:46 PM): oh yes, i agree JihadJimmyMWCCDF (10:03:12 PM): ooh chick undressing MwHCock (10:03:22 PM): nice legs JihadJimmyMWCCDF (10:03:29 PM): ooh boyshorts MwHCock (10:03:30 PM): that chick is hott JihadJimmyMWCCDF (10:03:32 PM): i like boyshorts JihadJimmyMWCCDF (10:03:57 PM): where have i seen that old chick? JihadJimmyMWCCDF (10:04:06 PM): oh shit, that was the mother from My Best Friend's Wedding MwHCock (10:04:21 PM): hey, i never told you MwHCock (10:04:28 PM): dermot mulroney MwHCock (10:04:30 PM): i met him JihadJimmyMWCCDF (10:04:37 PM): you didn't tell me that! JihadJimmyMWCCDF (10:04:43 PM): his dad was your professor, ya? MwHCock (10:04:43 PM): for like 5 seconds MwHCock (10:04:48 PM): yeah MwHCock (10:04:51 PM): i just said hello MwHCock (10:05:13 PM): where is that bank guy from JihadJimmyMWCCDF (10:05:15 PM): did you tell him that your bro Jimmy was gay for him in that movie? JihadJimmyMWCCDF (10:05:21 PM): the black guy? MwHCock (10:05:27 PM): yeah JihadJimmyMWCCDF (10:05:28 PM): "felt free" JihadJimmyMWCCDF (10:05:30 PM): not sure MwHCock (10:05:43 PM): they other guy was dr nelix from voyager JihadJimmyMWCCDF (10:05:54 PM): mr. foote? MwHCock (10:05:55 PM): the black guy was the principal in boston public MwHCock (10:06:02 PM): yeah MwHCock (10:06:06 PM): whoa MwHCock (10:06:12 PM): that guy just phoned in a bet MwHCock (10:06:16 PM): fuck bill frist JihadJimmyMWCCDF (10:06:23 PM): which guy? JihadJimmyMWCCDF (10:06:26 PM): i missed it MwHCock (10:06:29 PM): the guy from wings MwHCock (10:06:35 PM): as he was crossing the street MwHCock (10:06:38 PM): he bet on the dodgers JihadJimmyMWCCDF (10:06:47 PM): fuck the dodgers MwHCock (10:06:55 PM): he had a gambing problem in the sopranos too JihadJimmyMWCCDF (10:06:55 PM): did you see that unassisted DP? MwHCock (10:07:02 PM): no MwHCock (10:07:16 PM): the A's won again today MwHCock (10:07:18 PM): booyah JihadJimmyMWCCDF (10:07:20 PM): check it out on mlb.com... it was beautiful MwHCock (10:07:25 PM): in the park HR JihadJimmyMWCCDF (10:07:34 PM): ya JihadJimmyMWCCDF (10:07:50 PM): oh it's shooty-shooty time!!! JihadJimmyMWCCDF (10:07:57 PM): "no one has been inside your box" MwHCock (10:07:59 PM): "somebody has been inside my box" JihadJimmyMWCCDF (10:08:32 PM): FAG MwHCock (10:08:38 PM): oh yeah MwHCock (10:08:43 PM): the assistant bank dude MwHCock (10:08:50 PM): dr nelix is gonna rob the bank MwHCock (10:09:10 PM): ok MwHCock (10:09:17 PM): why not put the coat on the blue arm MwHCock (10:09:18 PM): idiot JihadJimmyMWCCDF (10:09:31 PM): uh oh JihadJimmyMWCCDF (10:09:53 PM): oh that dude's a cop, oh shit yeah JihadJimmyMWCCDF (10:10:19 PM): yeah, go inside you shitheads MwHCock (10:10:29 PM): Rule#1 MwHCock (10:10:37 PM): real life rule MwHCock (10:10:48 PM): never fuck with a guy with a neck tattoo JihadJimmyMWCCDF (10:10:51 PM): LOL JihadJimmyMWCCDF (10:10:56 PM): "this'll all be over in five minutes" MwHCock (10:11:12 PM): that honda pops popcorn JihadJimmyMWCCDF (10:11:52 PM): intel chick looked fucking creepy MwHCock (10:11:59 PM): i liked her MwHCock (10:12:21 PM): olive garden commercial are stupid JihadJimmyMWCCDF (10:12:45 PM): i wanted to go to olive garden today for lunch JihadJimmyMWCCDF (10:12:50 PM): went to applebee's instead JihadJimmyMWCCDF (10:12:54 PM): they fucked up my order MwHCock (10:12:55 PM): i went to el torito JihadJimmyMWCCDF (10:13:03 PM): i left them a quarter for a tip MwHCock (10:13:15 PM): bad service i assume? JihadJimmyMWCCDF (10:13:23 PM): terible JihadJimmyMWCCDF (10:13:36 PM): he didn't write down our order, and naturally it came fucked up JihadJimmyMWCCDF (10:14:04 PM): took them another 15 mins MwHCock (10:14:04 PM): 52 hours MwHCock (10:14:13 PM): that's a long hold up JihadJimmyMWCCDF (10:14:27 PM): five minutes my ass JihadJimmyMWCCDF (10:15:40 PM): yay! that was a fast series JihadJimmyMWCCDF (10:15:48 PM): you wanna play halo? MwHCock (10:15:55 PM): nah MwHCock (10:16:15 PM): i like how they have the guns on the bank manager MwHCock (10:16:17 PM): since he's balck JihadJimmyMWCCDF (10:16:19 PM): WTF? what happened to the dude? MwHCock (10:16:36 PM): it's been 52 hours JihadJimmyMWCCDF (10:16:42 PM): 52 hours? MwHCock (10:16:45 PM): yeah JihadJimmyMWCCDF (10:17:02 PM): dude, if they'd let Jack Bauer get in there.. would've been finished 28 hours earlier MwHCock (10:17:09 PM): less MwHCock (10:17:19 PM): because the first crisis takes 12 hours MwHCock (10:17:28 PM): then they solve another bigger one JihadJimmyMWCCDF (10:17:29 PM): actually i was just about to say that... JihadJimmyMWCCDF (10:17:31 PM): ya JihadJimmyMWCCDF (10:17:58 PM): it's the foote-man! MwHCock (10:18:12 PM): ohhh JihadJimmyMWCCDF (10:18:16 PM): who is the underwear chick? MwHCock (10:18:17 PM): they're all suspects JihadJimmyMWCCDF (10:18:20 PM): i've seen her before MwHCock (10:18:25 PM): the one who said that last line JihadJimmyMWCCDF (10:18:30 PM): ya JihadJimmyMWCCDF (10:18:45 PM): she might've been in "don't tell mom the babysitter's dead" JihadJimmyMWCCDF (10:19:15 PM): that yahoo commercial was fucked up MwHCock (10:20:06 PM): that shick was on 24 JihadJimmyMWCCDF (10:20:26 PM): which season? MwHCock (10:20:29 PM): 2? MwHCock (10:20:44 PM): she was also on third watch MwHCock (10:20:49 PM): paramedic JihadJimmyMWCCDF (10:20:51 PM): who was she on 24? JihadJimmyMWCCDF (10:20:59 PM): she might've been on Sirens... MwHCock (10:21:01 PM): a characters sister MwHCock (10:21:02 PM): small aprt MwHCock (10:21:16 PM): http://www.imdb.com/name/nm0005339/ MwHCock (10:23:16 PM): a two-fer MwHCock (10:23:21 PM): my dad is home MwHCock (10:23:23 PM): brb JihadJimmyMWCCDF (10:23:29 PM): OK JihadJimmyMWCCDF (10:24:55 PM): mr. foote's gonna be a hero? JihadJimmyMWCCDF (10:25:54 PM): is that the hospital from grey's anatomy? JihadJimmyMWCCDF (10:26:35 PM): and one of the chicks died JihadJimmyMWCCDF (10:31:39 PM): did he cheat on her? JihadJimmyMWCCDF (10:32:39 PM): WHORE JihadJimmyMWCCDF (10:37:56 PM): something bad happened at the Fidelity Republic JihadJimmyMWCCDF (10:42:58 PM): "Jews bring food" JihadJimmyMWCCDF (10:46:31 PM): "why didn't you save my mom?" JihadJimmyMWCCDF (10:47:50 PM): i imagine that i'd be more shocked that they were kissing had i any idea what the fuck was going on JihadJimmyMWCCDF (10:48:36 PM): that genital herpes chick was cute... shit JihadJimmyMWCCDF (10:48:40 PM): ooh momma JihadJimmyMWCCDF (10:49:20 PM): herpes-commercial chick has a yoga mat similar to the one i bought for my sister MwHCock (10:49:36 PM): sorry man, my dad has a lot he wants me to do tomorrow JihadJimmyMWCCDF (10:49:41 PM): NP MwHCock (10:49:46 PM): i think you're on your own for rest of show MwHCock (10:49:50 PM): we're still discussing JihadJimmyMWCCDF (10:50:00 PM): were you taping this? it's getting interesting... confusing MwHCock (10:50:05 PM): i'm taping it MwHCock (10:50:13 PM): bbl JihadJimmyMWCCDF (10:50:57 PM): OK dude JihadJimmyMWCCDF (10:52:27 PM): gettin' rid of some old ghosts JihadJimmyMWCCDF (10:54:49 PM): "Lizzie Miller called" JihadJimmyMWCCDF (10:57:34 PM): drunk mexi-chick JihadJimmyMWCCDF (10:57:51 PM): OK there are 7... who are the last two? JihadJimmyMWCCDF (10:58:22 PM): oh felicia is #8 and the dead chick was #9 JihadJimmyMWCCDF (10:58:45 PM): is it gonna be the black chick? JihadJimmyMWCCDF (10:59:02 PM): oh it is the black chick JihadJimmyMWCCDF (10:59:10 PM): talking to the robber-dude JihadJimmyMWCCDF (11:00:43 PM): Ok see you next wednes-dee JihadJimmyMWCCDF (11:00:55 PM): MwHCock is still here, but i'm leaving... JihadJimmyMWCCDF has left the chat room.