TERROR ALERT LEVEL: BROWN

Yes, I stole that post title from Don and Mike. But like they say, and this applies to radio shows, podcasts, SHoP posts-- whatever, really: "If you steal from us, you're stealing twice."

Anyway, was at DUMPCON 2 about ten minutes ago. Went down to the restroom to try to rectify that. I did. It was nice.

The stall next to mine was occupied, and as I was finishing up my paperwork I could hear the clinking of the dispenser in that very same stall. Shit. This means that we're on track to exit our respective stalls at right around the same time. Not paralyzing embarassment, no, but still I value my privacy. And I don't like people anyway.

I exit first, make a bee-line towards the sink. Two splooges of the soap, hit the water, start scrubbing. The appropriate amount of time to be spent scrubbing, I'm told, is one round of "Row, Row, Row Your Boat". I'm scrubbing, I'm singing. In my head.

So right around "Gently down the stream", my poop-neighbor rinses his hands (barely) in the sink. OK. We all do/did that at one time or another. I'm scrubbing... Merrily, Merrily, Merrily

But then this guy runs his wet hands through his chin-length, Bay Area hippie hair. Sick fuck. Dries, leaves.

And only as I'm touching the doorknob which he just touched with his crappy, lice-y hands does it occur to me that I have a SHoP post on my hands.

Life is but a dream,
Jihad Jimmy, Minister of War Crimes and Chief Defender of the Faith

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You fucker. I've been posting up my blingo referral URL since your goddam birthday LAST YEAR and now you have a banner up to steal the good Citizen SHoPpers away? Fuck that! That shit is bananas, B-A-N-A-N-A-S.



Citizen SHoPpers, I trust you to do what is right.
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