A pukefest carousel for your ears!

PREVIOUSLY ON THE SHoP...

I AM A BADASS BUDDING RADIOPHILE
Eastmost Peninsula is the Secret
You're on the air with KJIMMY
DRY MOIST HUMP LOAF
I AM STILL A BADASS BUDDING RADIOPHILE
Take a shit on my Radio-Parade, why don't you...
BOYCOTT FREEFM 106.9 KIFR!!!
Back to the Basics...
Ya got two hours. No excuses this time.

THE FOLLOWING TAKES PLACE BETWEEN 4:00 PM AND 6:00 PM.

EVENTS OCCUR IN REAL TIME.

---

If you know your Tio Jaime, you'll know that he's a budding radiophile. See the recap posts above.

My radio schedule is now:

1) John London's Inferno podcasts from two months ago on the drive in to work.
2) Don and Mike on my lunch break.
3) John London's Inferno live in the truck now that they're back on the air in the SF Bay Area
4) More John London's Inferno podcasts once the live show is done.

This is just fine, except for the live Inferno show. Recently, they've been playing the stupidest commercial for the The Search Dog Foundation. I've found the recording of this pukefest of a commercial.

If your ears start to bleed at the end of the commercial, I apologize.

Gimme a fucking break. You were all crying? STFU before we send you to Chinatown as food.

God what a shitty commercial. It's almost as shitty as the Netflix radio commercials. I tried figuring those out, until I realized they were a huge pile of horseshit.

And no, retards, Netflix won't save you any money on gas, unless you're stupid enough to make a trip to the video store and the video store alone. Smart people hit up the video store on the way home from work. And holy sheep shit, see? You didn't waste any gas.

Radio commercials seem to be worse than TV commercials, if only because you can mute TV commercials and still see when to take the mute off. You do that on radio? Well then you're sitting there in your car listening to your own Little Brain thought wondering just exactly what the impeachable offense is.

I thank God that those useless Geico commercials are finally said and done. You know the ones where somebody saves a lot of money on car insurance by switching to Geico? Yeah, they were funny the first time. Not so funny the thirtieth time. And the new ones using various celebrities were also funny the first few times. Now, they're irritating.

Post your own in the comments. Bonus SHoPbucks to you if you post audio links too...

Jihad Jimmy, Minister of War Crimes and Chief Defender of the Faith

LOL The password is fidelio

Chatting with my buddy. It earned its way onto the SHoP.

You should probably go read the article first, otherwise it might not make sense. Gw'on now, git! It's the first line there...

Some SHoP Madness in the month of March

8:30 PM MwHCock: http://www.drivl.com/posts/view/738 JihadJimmy: LOL Gaylord the Camel 8:35 PM JihadJimmy: Otto the Orange?!? he's fucking rad! MwHCock: I Know!!! JihadJimmy: this is retarded... i'm @ #12 right now, and i bet there are gonna be some retarded choices in the top 10 MwHCock: oh no MwHCock: keep going JihadJimmy: Brutus Buckeye?!? MwHCock: he looks retarded JihadJimmy: well, OK there's no polishing a turd JihadJimmy: LOL The password is fidelio JihadJimmy: purdue pete as the Mask JihadJimmy: The Demon Deacon?!? this is horseshit 8:40 PM JihadJimmy: LOL the stanfurd tree won!!! MwHCock: told you it was worth watching MwHCock: sorry, reading JihadJimmy: NP i'm watching Nip/Tuck in the background

Heh. Go Bears. And nice job today, Stanfurd, against Louisville.

Jihad Jimmy
Commissioner, SHoP Department of Recreational Sport (Non-nude)

Happy Pi Day!

Although I'm somewhat more partial towards e, we at the SHoP cannot ignore the importance of Pi Day. And in a few seconds, I'll probably go back and add some fake posts from all the Pi Days we've missed.

Well, maybe not, i'm too lazy. And even then, it's not so much laziness that I have to work.

Here are some Pi links to aid in your celebration (or lack thereof) of wacky geometric constants. Enjoy.

3.141592653589793...
Learn to sing Pi .. 3.141592653589793... (REFRESH NO LONGER)
Real Medieval Pi
Pi vs Picard
Picard's Pi Command Code
Pi eye exam(done correctly)

Blind Date - Olde English Sketch Comedy
hardnphirm - pi - The song from the ytmnds above, if it isn't stuck in your head already...
Magnum P.I. opening

Pi - Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia

Why I hate People of Every Color

Herro. Sorry that I'm so late to the table with this, but I've been busy. I myself don't hate black people, but just hate everybody in general, regardless of race. Strangely enough, I am the colorblind ideal that all of my SF-Oakland-Berkeley Leftist fuck-up neighbors strive to become. But without THE PURSWADER.

Here's some of the article. Before your Blue-State fuck-up panties get in a bunch, why don't you think about what he's saying...

excerpt from Kenneth Eng's Why I Hate Blacks

Why I Hate Blacks [AsianWeek] Kenneth Eng, Feb 23, 2007 Here is a list of reasons why we should discriminate against blacks, starting from the most obvious down to the least obvious: • Blacks hate us. Every Asian who has ever come across them knows that they take almost every opportunity to hurl racist remarks at us. In my experience, I would say about 90 percent of blacks I have met, regardless of age or environment, poke fun at the very sight of an Asian. Furthermore, their activity in the media proves their hatred: Rush Hour, Exit Wounds, Hot 97, etc.

Harsh, right? Well fuck, it's true. And before you do-gooder Leftist Blue-State Fuck-ups get all hoppin-mad, try to wrap your tiny brains around the possibility that it's true. I'm oriental, I've seen how black people in and around Oakland-Berkeley-Emeryville treat myself and other orientals.

You know what's worse than a dumbfuck oriental driver who doesn't know that she's done anything wrong? Some asshole black fucker in Oakland who 1) drives shitty, 2) knows he drives shitty, and 3) doesn't give a fuck that he drives shitty. I was behind one last night driving down Grand Avenue. And even though I'm a rednecky oriental in a rednecky truck, no, I didn't honk. I'm not stupid. Racist and hateful, true, but fortunately not stupid.

Kenneth Eng, dude, you hit it spot on. Well, OK. I wouldn't say in all seriousness that we should hate everybody, but I can understand why one might hate blacks, whites, and even your fellow orientals. Oh, and of course, this SHoP Overlord managed to catch onto what most of you do-gooder Leftist fuck-ups missed-- obvious parody and a running gag.

Two of Eng's previous articles are why he "hates whites" and "hates asians". Rather, why "whites inherently hate us (asians)". That's a running gag if I ever saw one.

I'd like to extend SHoP Overlordship to Kenneth Eng, former contributor to asianweek.com. Come, seek refuge in the House of Pain. We don't even care that you're a ignorant atheist.

I betcha I can even sell you on this oriental kick I've been on, too...

Jihad Jimmy, Minister of War Crimes and Chief Defender of the Faith

<update time=1337>
I've fired a salvo at http://dontspeakfor.us, which 1) is a blog set up for specific purpose of fielding ire about this Kenneth Eng shit, and 2) has to be the stupidest URL I've ever seen. Dumb Orientals. I thought we were supposed to be good at math and computers?

For another SHoP stance on race relations, please to be checking out blackpeopleloveus.com
</update>

<update time=1347>
Hmm. Looks like dontspeakfor.us is in fact moderating comments and petition signatures (heh). Although they didn't allow a SHoP-plug, and they took off my signatures for "Chop Suey Charlie" and "Jihad Jimmy". If only they knew just how much I'm influenced by the Don and Mike show...

And really, what a bunch of stingy chinamen! I'm plugging their shitty blog! They should plug our shitty blog!
</update>

Hiccup remedy you've probably never tried...

Was reading about this girl last night, whose five weeks of hiccups ended.

Sucks to be her, I guess. Nice that the hiccups stopped when she was going to sleep.

So then, as I am wont to do, I looked up "hiccup" on wikipedia, just to see what one of my newest favorite internet tubes says about something as simple and ubiquitous as a bodily function. My favorite exerpt is below, emphasis mine...

from wikipedia.org's entry on Hiccup

In 2006, Francis Fesmire of the University of Tennessee College of Medicine received an Ig Nobel prize for medicine after he published "Termination of intractable hiccups with digital rectal massage" in 1988.[1] In an attempt to block the runaway messages on the vagus nerve, Fesmire found that stimulation of the vagus nerve by digital rectal massage worked, stopping a bout of hiccupping. Fesmire also commented "An orgasm results in incredible stimulation of the vagus nerve."

So you think, "Oh, OK. Cool, a hiccup study."

Then you get that puzzled look on your face-- "Wait. Hold on...

"Massage. OK, sounds good.

"Rectal massage? Oh no, that's not as good.

"Digital. Hmm. I'm guessing that's not technological in nature. Especially not since the digits on my hands seem to be evolutionally tailored to things requiring motor skills. Like massage."

And now you realize that some professor somewhere did an entire study on this. Perhaps you're now wondering just how he recruited subjects for this study? I know I was...

HELP WANTED FOR STUDY OF HICCUPS Got excessive and/or chronic hiccups? Don't mind touching yourself in or being touched by others in your bad area? Contact Dr. Fesmire for more info. And a good time.

Back in the third grade, our (myself and infrequent-SHoP Overlord SixHertz) teacher seemed to have numerous cures for hiccups. I don't think this was one of them though...

Jihad Jimmy, Minister of War Crimes and Chief Defender of the Faith