funny stuff to pass the time when your tio jaime should've been working...

This summary is not available. Please click here to view the post.

Oh, snap! Anyone see Scotty?

Airforce testing new transparent armor...

Transparent aluminum a reality!

PLACE BETS NOW!!!

PLACE BETS NOW!!!

Will the Grace-look-alike flake on your Tio Jaime tomorrow?

[update date="20051018" time="0912"]

MORNING LINES

Greta Will Flake	-825
Greta Will Not Flake	+800

[/update]

BETTING ENDS

On a more somber note, 16 years ago today the 1989 World Series between the SF Giants and the Oakland A's was interrupted by the Loma Prieta earthquake. 7.1 on the Richter Scale. Big Damn Earthquake.

SixH and I were in the Mrs. Cimino's sixth grade class. Our flag football game that week against SFC got cancelled.

Apologies to Citizen SHoPper Mark N for the graphics-heavy post...

Jihad Jimmy, Minister of War Crimes and Chief Defender of the Faith

Tio Jaime's Trip Around the Linkdump-osphere!

Citizen SHoPpers! If you enjoy your beloved SHoP, you'll probably enjoy these following links! And if you're the kind of Citizen SHoPper who has a buttload of friends who don't read their USGS daily recommended dose of SHoP, please to be sending them here for some wacky hijinks! Don't right-click and send the links to the various funnies below, just save yourself the trouble and use the permalink to this SHoP post!

(yes, we're self-centered republi-bastards, but we really are just trying to make your life easier. unless you're a shitasslicks visitor, in which case we're going to take a dump on one of your gay little freeway blogger signs before the year's end)

from GorillaMask.net
NSFW: yay! nintendo-girl
nice parenting! way to set an example for your future crack-whore daughter
Fore!
God bless the Girls
NSFW: oh just watch it. funny ending. i've said too much already
not your typical coca-cola polar bears...

from Attu Sees All
Sears Tower, Jenga Style
NSFW: she's not a real construction chick... but I'm not picky
ghetto models
shitasslicks math at its finest
comments in link above reference this old post...
you stupid, stupid woman
Duck Hunt!
as engineers, we love this kinda shit...

from Mitchieville
you're 'bout to feel the wrath of the dino

and no, Mitchieville isn't a LinkDump, but i really couldn't resist the barney

Want some more linkdumpage? check out hotsaucelive.com and entensity.net

all my love,
Jihad Jimmy, Minister of War Crimes and Chief Defender of the Faith

New Template

Fixed the template I tried about a week ago. Works well with Firefox/Mozilla, Opera, and Safari (thanks to TioJ for testing those out). Mediocre on Internet Explorer, so beware. I used a blogger template generator and modified it for my own usage. HTMLDog is a great reference should you need it.

SixHertz California Propositions Voting Guide

A Painful Guide to California's Propositions--it's all about the accountability, stupid:

Proposition 73: Parental notification about abortion

The way it is now:

A pregnant minor (an unmarried girl under 18 years of age) can get an abortion in California without telling her parents about it.

What Prop 73 would do:

Change the State Constitution to require a doctor to notify a parent or guardian at least 48 hours before performing an abortion on a pregnant minor. Exceptions would be made in the case of a medical emergency or if the minor gets approval from juvenile court.

Doctors would have to report to the state about all abortions performed on minors. The minor’s identity would be kept confidential in these reports and in any court proceedings.

Effect on government spending:

Possible increase in state costs of several million dollars per year for health and welfare programs and court expenses.

I especially find ironic the argument of the "No on 73" crowd that says "The government cannot impose good family communication"...This is an argument that liberals are making?!? The same folks who say the government is so good at doing everything else like provide health care, give free benefits to illegal immigrants, be involved in every aspect of our lives, etc. The guide doesn't really talk about how much less the government will be spending on continuing taxpayer-support of Planned Parenthood... Teach those brats accountability at a younger age instead of a free ticket to whore themselves out. Of course, if we voted 'no', we would be reducing the crime rate, right? I thought that minors weren't supposed to do all sorts of things because they didn't have the mental capacity to make these difficult decisions...but then again, some people never grow out of that True, many parents don't know how to parent...but it is doubtful that ignoring it will help very much at all...VOTE YES ON 73!

Proposition 74: Public School Teachers

The way it is now:

New teachers are evaluated every year during the first two years. During this trial period, the teacher has no guarantee of a job for the next year. A teacher who is hired for a third year becomes a permanent employee. School districts must follow a strict process to fire a permanent teacher.

What Prop 74 would do:

The trial period for new teachers would go up to five years instead of two years. Prop 74 would make it easier to fire a permanent teacher who has received two unsatisfactory evaluations in a row.

Effect on government spending:

Might save money in some school districts and cost more in others, depending on school district actions and how teachers respond.

Permanent employee + sweet pension deal after 18 years? Sweet Jesus. Even officers in the military can be canned at 18 years if they make a mistake, let alone an actual, conscious offense! Bottom line? The public school system here in California sucks regardless of whether or not they put teachers' tenure from 2 years to 5 years. It probably won't help matters much, but it will help some. Accountability, people... VOTE YES ON 74!

Proposition 75: Government Employee Union Dues

The way it is now:

Government employee unions can charge their members dues which can be used for political contributions. Government workers who are not union members also pay fees to the union, because the union negotiates salaries and benefits for all workers. Fees collected from a nonmember cannot be used for political purposes if the nonmember objects.

What Prop 75 would do:

Require government employee unions to get written agreement from each worker before using that worker’s dues or nonmember fees for political contributions.

Effect on government spending:

No major change in state or local spending.

Do you see any problems with this? Neither do I. Unions that are accountable to its members shouldn't be worried if they're worth their salt. VOTE YES ON 75!

Proposition 76: State Budget and School Funding

The way it is now:

The state of California has had budget problems since 2001. A stock market drop and economic downturn caused state income to fall below spending commitments that were made when the economy was strong. Even though state income is growing again, it is still not enough to cover current state spending.

The largest budget item is for education. In 1988, voters approved Prop 98 that sets minimum funding levels for schools and community colleges based on the number of students and economic growth rates.

What Prop 76 would do:

Change the State Constitution about how the state budget is managed. It would:

1. Add a new spending limit. State spending would be limited to the last year’s spending plus an average of the past 3-years’ income growth.
2. Give the Governor greater power to cut state spending. If state income falls below expected levels, the Legislature would have 45 days to fix the problem. If the Legislature and Governor could not agree on a solution, then the Governor would have the power to cut programs.
3. Change how the minimum funding level is calculated for schools and community colleges.

Effect on government spending:

Future state spending would probably be less than under current law, but lower state spending on some programs could increase county government spending for those services. Ups and downs in the economy may have less effect on the state budget than in the past. State money to schools would depend more on decisions of the Legislature and Governor and less on Prop 98 minimum funding levels.

Oh no! Control spending by using a rolling average as a baseline and make the legislature accountable first? Don't spend what you can't afford? Sounds pretty reasonable to me. VOTE YES ON 76!

Proposition 77: Political Districts

The way it is now:

The state of California is divided into political districts. Each federal and state lawmaker represents a “district” of Californians. The lines for these political districts are redrawn after each federal census, which last happened in 2000 and will happen next in 2010. The State Constitution gives the state Legislature the authority to draw the district lines for state legislators and the U.S. House of Representatives.

What Prop 77 would do:

Change the California Constitution to give authority for setting up political district lines every ten years to a panel of three retired judges, instead of the state Legislature. Prop 77 also requires new district lines to be set up for the statewide June and November 2006 elections. These new districts would also have to be approved by voters in 2006. If voters reject the new district lines, then another panel of three judges would be chosen to redraw the boundaries again for elections in 2008.

Effect on government spending:

There are one-time costs for creating new political districts of about $1.5 million for the state and $1 million for the counties.

Frankly, I don't see how this can work. Who will these retired judges be? And how will sending the newly drawn district lines to the voters for approval make things better? The average voter is pretty retarded, as evidenced by a majority of them voting 98% of the time for the incumbent. But by principle, having an independent commission drawing district lines is a lot more fair than having interested parties doing the same thing. And California's Congress is a nightmare to begin with. Separation of power = Accountability. VOTE YES ON 77!

Proposition 78: Prescription Drug Discounts

The way it is now:

Several state and federal programs provide prescription drug coverage to those who are eligible based on income, age and/or disability. In California, the Medi-Cal and Healthy Families programs provide prescription drug coverage for low and moderate income families. People with Medicare can buy drugs at a discount at some pharmacies.

What Prop 78 would do:

Create a new drug discount program for people who do not already have coverage from a government program or private insurance. Californians in families with incomes up to three times the federal poverty level (about $29,000 for one person or about $58,000 for a family of four) could get a drug discount card for $15 per year. The card would be used to buy drugs at a set discount at participating pharmacies.

The state would negotiate drug company rebates. The participation of drug companies would be voluntary.

Effect on government spending:

State costs to run this program would range from millions to low tens of millions of dollars each year. The drug discounts might save money in state and county health programs.

Or this one...

Proposition 79: Prescription Drug Discounts and Medi-Cal

The way it is now:

Several state and federal programs provide prescription drug coverage to those who are eligible based on income, age and/or disability, such as Medi-Cal and Healthy Families. People with Medicare can buy drugs at a discount at some pharmacies.

Federal law requires drug makers to give the Medi-Cal program lower prices. The State also negotiates additional discounts in exchange for giving drugs “preferred status” in the Medi-Cal program. Preferred status means that the drug can be prescribed to Medi-Cal patients without a doctor first getting approval from the state.

What Prop 79 would do:

Create a new drug discount program for people not in Medi-Cal or Healthy Families. Californians in families with incomes up to four times the federal poverty level (about $38,000 for one person or about $77,000 for a family of four) could get a drug discount card for $10 per year. The card would be used to buy drugs at a set discount at participating pharmacies.

The state would negotiate drug company rebates. Drug companies that do not agree to low prices for this new program could have their drugs removed from “preferred status” in Medi-Cal. Also under Prop 79, drug companies could be sued for making excess profits (“profiteering”) on the sale of drugs.

Effect on government spending:

State costs would probably be in the low tens of millions of dollars each year. The drug discounts could save an unknown amount of money in state and county health programs.

Prop 78 = Prop 79 lite. Prop 79 cost > Prop 78 cost. I only have one question. Will illegals get to benefit from this? If yes, then screw them both. This is all about how big you want state government to become. And lookie. You can sue with Prop 79. And how much exactly would we save? Who the hell knows. VOTE NO ON 78 AND 79!

Proposition 80: Regulation of Electric Service

The way it is now:

There are three major utility companies serving different parts of California: Pacific Gas & Electric, Southern California Edison, and San Diego Gas & Electric. Some areas like Los Angeles are served instead by a power company owned by local government. There are also some other electric service providers used mostly by larger businesses. California’s Public Utilities Commission (PUC) has a lot of control over the three major utility companies and little control over the other companies.

In the 1990’s California began reducing state control of electricity with the goal of lower prices from more competition. In 2001, this “deregulation” was put on hold because of electricity shortages.

What Prop 80 would do:

Increase state control (“regulation”) over California’s electricity market and make it harder to reduce state control. Prop 80 would make permanent the current ban on customers switching from the major utility companies to other providers. The state PUC could regulate the rates of all electric service providers except utilities owned by local governments. All PUC-controlled electric sellers would also be required to use more renewable energy resources, with a goal of 20 percent moved up to 2010 (instead of by 2017).

Effect on government spending:

The costs for increased state regulation could be up to $4 million per year, paid by electricity customers. It is not clear how Prop 80 would affect overall costs for electricity.

Just what we need! More regulation! The supporters of this regulation cite the blackouts in California as the reason why we need regulation back, when in fact, voting yes on this will increase the prices of energy in California by requiring the "green"-ing of its energy 'portfolio'. Remember when MBTE was added to California gasoline in the mid-90's? Yeah. Here's to regulation. VOTE NO ON 80!

"Enter your 5-digit Course Control Number now..."

Was gonna submit something to this contest here, but hell, not even everybody here on the SHoP would get it...

Wizbang Weekend Caption Contest™

Tio Jaime's other submission: "Thank you for calling Tele-BEARS!"

If you're pleasantly reminiscing right now, Go Bears! If not, no sweat. It's a long story, and you wouldn't enjoy it anyway...

Suffice it to say, FUCK UCLA

go bears,
Jihad Jimmy, Minister of War Crimes and Chief Defender of the Faith

[update date="20051018" time="1705"]
Well lookee here. Click on the link to Wizbang!, and then click on the contest results... Jihad Jimmy had another honorable mention!

so far, two honorable mentions (new one here and old one here, one Second Place (here). Bow Down to Tio Jaime.

And if you look here...

...you'll see that I didn't win anything, but you just fell victim to SHoP gratuitous boobies. thanks for playing!
[/update]

thought this was supposed to be the most intense E-ring ever?

PREVIOUSLY ON THE SHoP...

ooh hi senior airman hot chick & "i'm putting you in for a bronze star anyway, you dumbass"
so they hired prostitutes? & his GF has nice jugs, but is kind of a butterface & i just can't wait until they kill the terrorist
god what a butterface & lizzy caplan is hot when she's not skanky & man i wanna play halo right now

THE FOLLOWING TAKES PLACE BETWEEN 8:00 PM AND 9:00 PM.

EVENTS OCCUR IN REAL TIME.

---

This episode was not the best episode of E-Ring I've ever seen.

all my love,
Jihad Jimmy, Minister of War Crimes and Chief Defender of the Faith

unenthusiastic Live 3am Criticism of E-Ring

You are now in chat room "HaloTimeEmmEffers." JihadJimmyMWCCDF has entered the chat room. JihadJimmyMWCCDF (7:35:28 PM): OK i can get about 24 mins of Halo in before E•Ring JihadJimmyMWCCDF (7:35:34 PM): hello dere... sorry JihadJimmyMWCCDF (8:00:18 PM): JihadJimmyMWCCDF (8:00:34 PM): blah blah blah mission must be planned and aproved by the e-ring la la la JihadJimmyMWCCDF (8:01:06 PM): Burundi, Africa JihadJimmyMWCCDF (8:03:34 PM): something about genocide and shit... la la la JihadJimmyMWCCDF (8:05:53 PM): oh look it's the race card! JihadJimmyMWCCDF (8:06:45 PM): OK time to poo JihadJimmyMWCCDF (8:14:15 PM): great i got back just in time for the Butterface JihadJimmyMWCCDF (8:18:35 PM): hmm, part of Tio Jaime is saying "yeah, whatever" JihadJimmyMWCCDF (8:18:55 PM): and that's a stupid Staples commercial JihadJimmyMWCCDF (8:19:05 PM): they rhyming made no sense JihadJimmyMWCCDF (8:19:55 PM): ooh, iTunes 6 lets you watch music videos, but you need 10.3.9 JihadJimmyMWCCDF (8:19:58 PM): fuck that JihadJimmyMWCCDF (8:20:15 PM): and i am officially moving iTunes to the inactive updates side... JihadJimmyMWCCDF (8:20:54 PM): and i almost installed the QuickTime 6.5.3 update... would've required a restart JihadJimmyMWCCDF (8:23:58 PM): fuck you "Message is too long or too coplex" JihadJimmyMWCCDF (8:24:33 PM): stupid caltrans JihadJimmyMWCCDF (8:25:15 PM): pierce you stupid cunt JihadJimmyMWCCDF (8:31:39 PM): ha ha needed to learn the hard way JihadJimmyMWCCDF (8:32:20 PM): benjamin bratt is polish? JihadJimmyMWCCDF (8:33:00 PM): they noticed that they were missing a crate of machetes? JihadJimmyMWCCDF (8:33:09 PM): and i guess tyznewski is polish JihadJimmyMWCCDF (8:36:02 PM): wow more donald trump hsit JihadJimmyMWCCDF (8:37:16 PM): goddamit what a butterface JihadJimmyMWCCDF (8:38:10 PM): BUTTERFACE JihadJimmyMWCCDF (8:43:03 PM): whoa benjamin bratt went to Lowell High in san francisco JihadJimmyMWCCDF (8:49:55 PM): "those people" la la la JihadJimmyMWCCDF (8:52:03 PM): did they sign all the forms? JihadJimmyMWCCDF (9:00:10 PM): thought this was supposed to be the most intense E-ring ever? JihadJimmyMWCCDF (9:03:48 PM): taping martha stewart, will watch two apprentice episodes this weekend... JihadJimmyMWCCDF has left the chat room.

Fifth Generation ipod

I'm writing this during a break in the conference so I'll have to cut this short. Apple announced earlier today a new version of the iPod. It can now play video.

I'll update later when i get more time.

It's the NSFW, Stupid!

Citizen SHoPpers, please spare me your moral indignance. You're aroused. Get used to it.

"Shave Your Bush" FOR "No More Bush" (oh holy Mother of God, soooooo NSFW)

If it'll make you feel any better, yes, you're smarter than these girls. And no, nobody's taking them seriously. Turn off the standard issue SHoP anti-celebrity guns. Even the real anti-Bush crowd realizes that their cause-of-the-day will be set back by these oh-so-naked girls. And people, they're pornstars. Try to remember this as you're getting riled up to the point of not noticing the sheer nakedness of Tera Patrick.

If you're still offended and left wondering how I can be taking such a jaunty tone with something like this, please never to be claiming South Park Republican status.

If you're like your Tio Jaime (and please note, citizen shitasslickers the correct use of homophones "you're" and "your". and please further note, citizen shitasslicker, that homophone does not mean "gay sounding"), you'll appreciate the nudity as well as the use not of a Sousa march, but of "76 Trombones". Heh.

Just be thankful you have a Tio J who will find these things for you...

Tio Jaime

and maybe the little gaghan fucker will die

PREVIOUSLY ON THE SHoP...

Ok this show fucking sucks, this doesn't even deserve SHoP billing.
i hope your kids murder you with shotguns when they come to grips with how assholey you made them

THE FOLLOWING TAKES PLACE BETWEEN 9:00 PM AND 10:00 PM.

EVENTS OCCUR IN REAL TIME.

---

And how cool is that? The events really did occur in real time! check the timestamps if you don't believe me...

Yet another Live 3am Criticism of one of the shittiest iterations of The Amazing Race! Yay!
You are now in chat room "DieGaghansDie." TioJ (8:59:25 PM): hello dere TioJ (9:00:16 PM): TioJ (9:00:21 PM): PREVIOUSLY ON THE AMAZING RACE TioJ (9:00:30 PM): some stupid spy password shit TioJ (9:00:46 PM): fuck the Paolos, and dammit, they eliminated a former miss louisiana TioJ (9:01:06 PM): ooh bransen daughters bending over TioJ (9:01:37 PM): bye miss louisana... =( TioJ (9:01:40 PM): A MAZE ING TioJ (9:01:42 PM): AMAZING TioJ (9:01:44 PM): A MAZE ING TioJ (9:01:45 PM): AMAZING TioJ (9:01:46 PM): A MAZE ING TioJ (9:01:47 PM): AMAZING TioJ (9:01:50 PM): A MAZE ING TioJ (9:01:53 PM): A MAZE ING TioJ (9:01:55 PM): AMAZING TioJ (9:02:30 PM): HELLO? TioJ (9:02:36 PM): you piece of shit AIM TioJ (9:02:51 PM): missed the best part TioJ (9:03:02 PM): the AAAA-MAZING RACE TioJ (9:03:07 PM): AAAA-MAZING RACE TioJ (9:03:10 PM): AAAA-MAZING RACE TioJ (9:03:41 PM): and another zorro movie, but this time w/an annoying mexi-kid TioJ (9:05:05 PM): this is welbourne manor TioJ (9:05:12 PM): somewheres in Virginia TioJ (9:05:24 PM): FUCK YOU GAGHANS TioJ (9:05:34 PM): place bets now TioJ (9:05:47 PM): weavers first to depart 2:26am TioJ (9:05:57 PM): fly 500 miles to charleston, SC TioJ (9:06:33 PM): like i was saying... TioJ (9:07:06 PM): How many "FUCK YOU GAGHANS" will Tio Jaime issue during this Live 3amC of TAR: Family Edition? TioJ (9:07:16 PM): a) 1-5 TioJ (9:07:20 PM): b) 6-10 TioJ (9:07:24 PM): c) 11-15 TioJ (9:07:28 PM): d) 16-20 TioJ (9:07:37 PM): or e) 21+ TioJ (9:07:43 PM): BETTING ENDS TioJ (9:07:46 PM): FUCK YOU GAGHANS TioJ (9:08:21 PM): TioJ (9:08:59 PM): oh, you're not letting your shitty kids make the phoen call for you? TioJ (9:09:31 PM): dumbfucks TioJ (9:09:52 PM): nice job almost getting killed stupid Weaver Harem TioJ (9:12:23 PM): well WTF, they don't have to tell you shit TioJ (9:12:39 PM): so they didn't tell you. get off your lazy Bostard ass and ask around for yourself TioJ (9:13:45 PM): PAOLO fuckers are next TioJ (9:13:54 PM): i hate these fuckers TioJ (9:14:05 PM): that's why you have to spank your kids TioJ (9:17:07 PM): Charleston International TioJ (9:17:11 PM): flight 1 landing @ 10:04 TioJ (9:17:30 PM): weavers, schroeders, linzs, and the g-sisters? TioJ (9:17:33 PM): aiellos too TioJ (9:18:09 PM): a Detour is a choice between two tasks, each with its own pros and cons TioJ (9:18:30 PM): Forrest Gump or Muddy Waters TioJ (9:18:48 PM): was muddy waters a movie? TioJ (9:18:57 PM): NEVERMIND THAT FORREST GUMP WASN'T IN SOUTH CAROLINA TioJ (9:19:58 PM): ahh, frozen shrimp on a boat? TioJ (9:20:19 PM): would've been cooler if they had to actually catch the shrimp TioJ (9:20:40 PM): FUCK YOU GAGHANS TioJ (9:21:03 PM): yeah let the Widow Weaver drive TioJ (9:21:05 PM): you're fucked TioJ (9:21:52 PM): aiellos got stuck TioJ (9:24:04 PM): FUCK YOU GAGHANS TioJ (9:24:16 PM): SHUT THE FUCK UP TioJ (9:24:20 PM): FUCK YOU GAGHANS TioJ (9:25:15 PM): scheroder family in first TioJ (9:25:21 PM): go to Charleston visitor center TioJ (9:25:31 PM): sign up for a charter bus to a mystery destination TioJ (9:25:34 PM): Linz in second TioJ (9:25:36 PM): g-sisters in third TioJ (9:25:44 PM): Paolos burn in hell TioJ (9:25:54 PM): Bransens in fourth TioJ (9:26:00 PM): FUCK YOU GAGHANS TioJ (9:26:06 PM): and that one was out loud TioJ (9:26:11 PM): how the fuck? TioJ (9:26:13 PM): FUCK YOU GAGHANS TioJ (9:26:28 PM): fuck you gaghans TioJ (9:26:39 PM): sorry.. FUCK YOU GAGHANS TioJ (9:26:44 PM): count that shit twice TioJ (9:27:30 PM): linz, schroeder, and g-sisters on bus #1 TioJ (9:27:37 PM): bransen daughters too TioJ (9:28:02 PM): shut the fuck up TioJ (9:32:25 PM): 14th attempt TioJ (9:32:31 PM): wow TioJ (9:32:52 PM): FUCK YOU GAGHANS TioJ (9:33:07 PM): fuck you, you paolo dick TioJ (9:34:14 PM): proceeed to Hunstville, AL TioJ (9:34:32 PM): go to US Space and Rocket Center TioJ (9:34:46 PM): and the edward o. buckbee hangar TioJ (9:35:36 PM): a Roadblock is a task usually only performed by one person TioJ (9:35:55 PM): but in this shitty family version, you can have two losers do it TioJ (9:35:59 PM): that's what phil said, no really TioJ (9:36:07 PM): and it's not gravity pressing on you TioJ (9:36:12 PM): since gravity works up and down TioJ (9:37:45 PM): for reference, 3.2Gs on your tio jaime is an assload of pressure... TioJ (9:37:55 PM): 800+ lbs? TioJ (9:37:58 PM): and fuck you aol TioJ (9:38:11 PM): "i gotta fart" TioJ (9:38:13 PM): funny TioJ (9:40:38 PM): i'll splice in some LMHBrent
LMHBrent: check out the SHoP when you get a chance LMHBrent: shop-gina TioJ: OK going right now TioJ: race to the space shuttle pathfinder LMHBrent: ? TioJ: blah blha blah, may be eliminated 9:40 PM TioJ: GODDAMIT TioJ: this is why tio jaime doesn't like to talk to people during 3am Cs LMHBrent: oh my bad LMHBrent: oh LMHBrent: TAR
TioJ (9:40:45 PM): bransen family team #1 TioJ (9:40:50 PM): welcome to hunstville, btw TioJ (9:41:26 PM): linz family team #2 TioJ (9:42:08 PM): SHUT THE FUCK UP TioJ (9:42:11 PM): AND FUCK YOU GAGHANS TioJ (9:42:17 PM): FUCK YOU GAGHANS TioJ (9:42:44 PM): fuck you paolos TioJ (9:48:11 PM): WAFFLE HOUSE!!! TioJ (9:48:14 PM): OH FUCK YEAH! TioJ (9:49:38 PM): FUCK YOU GAGHANS TioJ (9:49:47 PM): blah blah blah, may be eliminated TioJ (9:49:57 PM): schroeder family team #3 TioJ (9:50:15 PM): g-sisters team #4 TioJ (9:50:24 PM): "c'mon mommy" TioJ (9:50:41 PM): FUCK YOU GAGHANS TioJ (9:51:18 PM): OH FUCK YOU GAGHANS TioJ (9:51:55 PM): eh, whatevs, the aiellos won't be eliminated TioJ (9:52:22 PM): ooh maybe the aiellos will get lost TioJ (9:52:29 PM): and maybe the little gaghan fucker will die TioJ (9:52:32 PM): FUCK YOU GAGHANS TioJ (9:52:41 PM): FUCK YOU GAGHANS TioJ (9:52:55 PM): FUCK YOU GAGHANS TioJ (9:53:48 PM): FUCK YOU GAGHANS TioJ (9:53:50 PM): AND FUCK YOU GAGHANS TioJ (9:53:58 PM): I FUCKING HATE YOU GAGHANS, SO FUCK YOU GAGHANS TioJ (9:55:21 PM): paolo family team #6 TioJ (9:55:22 PM): duh TioJ (9:55:32 PM): gaghan family team #7 TioJ (9:55:35 PM): FUCK YOU GAGHANS TioJ (9:55:47 PM): and is anybody ever fooled by the edits there? no TioJ (9:56:01 PM): aiello family last team to arrive TioJ (9:56:09 PM): sorry to tell you you've been eliminated from the race??? TioJ (9:56:11 PM): WTF? TioJ (9:56:43 PM): TioJ (9:56:46 PM): fuck that TioJ (9:58:46 PM): ohs orry... stay chuned for scenes from our next episode TioJ (9:58:48 PM): la la la TioJ (9:58:50 PM): phil you tease TioJ (9:59:25 PM): On the next episode of "The Amazing Race" TioJ (9:59:38 PM): gotta go to a racetrack TioJ (9:59:43 PM): and g-sisters implode TioJ (9:59:52 PM): what a shitty episode... TioJ has left the chat room.

The final FUCK YOU GAGHANS count is... 22! Who picked e) 21+? it was looking bleak, but you made it!

Jihad Jimmy, Minister of War Crimes and Chief Defender of the Faith

Chewie Bwastun?

I know this is a bit old and not 'news' any longer, but in light of the fact that Red Sox and Yanx are gone, we can finally see how non-sell-out baseball is played. Not to mention that my Angels are up 1-0 in the series against CHW.

I found this too hilarious not to post... Oh and BTW, that guy totally does not look like Han Solo.

UNICEF ad shows Smurf Bombings

In this photo of a poster provided by UNICEF on Tuesday Oct. 11, 2005, the cartoon Smurfs and their village are seen being bombed by airplanes. The recent advertising campaign both in print and on television, is intended to teach schoolchildren about the horrors of war and be a fundraiser for rehabilitating former child soldiers. The title in French at left bottom reads 'Don't let war deystroy the world of children'.

It’s a sad day when an organization has to bomb and mutilate innocent cartoon characters to shock the people into donating them money. My God, what would Gargamel and Azrael think?

It's the Zoo, Stupid!

I've been semi-lurking at this one daily-read of mine. No real idea why this blog interests me so. No sir. Maybe you'll be able to glean something useful out of the blog?

Well, Citizen SHoPpers, the whole blog. Try to glean something useful out of the whole blog, not just the excerpted post below.

excerpt from So you wanna be a stripper? (emphasis mine)
If you are thinking of becoming a stripper there are a few things that you can do to make it easier. First, go out to some clubs in your area and scope out the situation. See which clubs are busy and what kind of people work and hang out there. Find a club that will suit you. If the girls are super hot and you aren’t, chances are you won’t do well there so try and find a skankier bar.

Although, be it not me to dissuade any female Citizen SHoPpers from joining the ranks of The Girls. Should you elect to do so, please to be commenting here when and where, such that we tip your stageshow.

Pictures of you onstage? Yes of course. Your Tio Jaime likes pictures. Send them right to the SHoP.

Oh, links above NSFW, btw. Probably should've told you that earlier, sorry. And whoops, hey, now your boss is reading over your shoulder? That ain't good...

Jihad Jimmy, Minister of War Crimes and Chief Defender of the Faith

ps- no, that blog isn't run by DJ John. hello dere.
pps-

NOOOO

LMHBrent: [CENSORED] LMHBrent: this better NOT be going on the SHoP Tio J: [CENSORED] LMHBrent: http://[CENSORED].html Tio J: honestly? it hadn't even occurred to me until you mentioned it Tio J: i should go work out... i'll talk to you in a bit dude Tio J: [CENSORED] LMHBrent: ok LMHBrent: i'm going to bed LMHBrent: it's 11pm Tio J: [CENSORED]! LMHBrent: eff my ess [portions of this chat not affecting the outcome have been edited] LMHBrent: [CENSORED]? Tio J: sometimes Tio J: isn't work travel nice? [CENSORED] LMHBrent: holy fucking cow [CENSORED]!!!!!! Tio J: jax0r LMHBrent: [CENSORED] LMHBrent: that would be very bad LMHBrent: i'd rather be paying on my own dime 8:10 PM Tio J: oh good SHoP post coming up... LMHBrent: NOOOO LMHBrent: don't you effing dare Tio J: no no no LMHBrent: oh LMHBrent: hehe

"she seems to think i'm her ex-husband and she won't let me touch her"

sorry for the delay. would've had it to you sooner, but was Halo-ing with AMF

Hard to say exactly why this show is so Stuck on Stupid compared to the first season... aside from shooting the relationship wad early. Oh, well i suppose that's it, especially what with dr. izzy and the frat cockt0r now on the horizon. how wonderful.

I smell an impending relegation to TJ:A1...

Tio Jaime

Live and Unenthusiastic 3am Criticism of Grey's Anatomy

You are now in chat room "ABCeatspoo." JihadJimmyMWCCDF has entered the chat room. JihadJimmyMWCCDF (10:02:08 PM): hello dere JihadJimmyMWCCDF (10:03:15 PM): me and AMF took a break from Halo to 3amC Grey's Anatomy JihadJimmyMWCCDF (10:03:50 PM): yeah like nobody saw that coming... JihadJimmyMWCCDF (10:04:20 PM): blackt0r1 JihadJimmyMWCCDF (10:04:38 PM): blackt0r3 JihadJimmyMWCCDF (10:05:38 PM): blackt0r2! JihadJimmyMWCCDF (10:06:10 PM): blackt0r1! JihadJimmyMWCCDF (10:06:34 PM): blackt0r1! JihadJimmyMWCCDF (10:07:09 PM): blackt0r 1! JihadJimmyMWCCDF (10:07:39 PM): it's dr. ellen's mom! JihadJimmyMWCCDF (10:08:00 PM): "nobody knows where they might end up" JihadJimmyMWCCDF (10:11:35 PM): blackt0r 1 JihadJimmyMWCCDF (10:14:47 PM): blackt0rs 2 and 3 JihadJimmyMWCCDF (10:15:22 PM): the heyday! JihadJimmyMWCCDF (10:16:11 PM): dr. ellen's mom going crazy JihadJimmyMWCCDF (10:20:17 PM): what a fucking stupid storyline JihadJimmyMWCCDF (10:21:50 PM): i'll give it to the next commercial break JihadJimmyMWCCDF (10:21:57 PM): although AMF seems to be "engaged" JihadJimmyMWCCDF (10:24:56 PM): blackt0r 3 w/a new hat JihadJimmyMWCCDF (10:25:20 PM): "she seems to think i'm her ex-husband and she won't let me touch her" JihadJimmyMWCCDF (10:25:35 PM): "i look like meredith's dad?" JihadJimmyMWCCDF (10:25:48 PM): i hate frat cockt0r JihadJimmyMWCCDF (10:27:07 PM): you could see her butt in the gown JihadJimmyMWCCDF (10:28:25 PM): blackt0r 2 JihadJimmyMWCCDF (10:28:29 PM): and blackt0r 1 JihadJimmyMWCCDF (10:34:20 PM): dr. HFA passed out in the OR JihadJimmyMWCCDF (10:34:36 PM): blackt0r 3 JihadJimmyMWCCDF (10:34:48 PM): and why does he have so many goddam hats? JihadJimmyMWCCDF (10:35:27 PM): la la la JihadJimmyMWCCDF (10:35:53 PM): how convenient that the other dr. shepherd is ob-gyn JihadJimmyMWCCDF (10:42:11 PM): blackt0rs 2 and 3! JihadJimmyMWCCDF (10:43:49 PM): these womanly outbursts are getting annoying JihadJimmyMWCCDF (10:44:42 PM): like how naked and how sedated? JihadJimmyMWCCDF (10:45:25 PM): blackt0r 1 JihadJimmyMWCCDF (10:45:27 PM): and blacktor 2 JihadJimmyMWCCDF (10:47:42 PM): dude, i could've been playing Halo right now JihadJimmyMWCCDF (10:47:53 PM): i like this song though JihadJimmyMWCCDF (10:49:45 PM): FUCK YOU BABY BOB JihadJimmyMWCCDF (10:50:22 PM): blackt0r 1 JihadJimmyMWCCDF (10:52:22 PM): yeah dr. izzy is retarded for liking the frat cockt0r JihadJimmyMWCCDF (10:52:38 PM): i'd like to see her uglies, yes JihadJimmyMWCCDF (10:54:35 PM): blah blah blah, he's different when you get to know him JihadJimmyMWCCDF (10:54:42 PM): what a shitty episode JihadJimmyMWCCDF (10:54:58 PM): yeah, tha'ts right bitch JihadJimmyMWCCDF (10:56:08 PM): wow, raining in seattle JihadJimmyMWCCDF (10:56:09 PM): again JihadJimmyMWCCDF (10:57:06 PM): well duh, she wants to go back to her lying boyfriend JihadJimmyMWCCDF (10:57:13 PM): ooh yeah JihadJimmyMWCCDF (10:57:20 PM): gettin' it on w/dr. ellen's mom JihadJimmyMWCCDF (10:57:48 PM): BECAUSE YOU'RE A STUPID WOMAN JihadJimmyMWCCDF (10:57:58 PM): ellen's mom has got it going on JihadJimmyMWCCDF (10:58:35 PM): blackt0r 3 JihadJimmyMWCCDF (10:59:35 PM): (stupid woman above was dr. izzy asking why frat cockt0r was so charming and jerkish at the same time) JihadJimmyMWCCDF (10:59:54 PM): wow that's gonna be a shitty episode next sun-dee JihadJimmyMWCCDF has left the chat room.

New stuff

I changed the blog template 'cause I was bored. I'm tired. Bedtime!

Update: Didn't seem to work correctly, so I changed it back!

It's the Originality, Stupid!

Remember when we as Republicans were labelled as "reactionary"?

Califoron Californian launches Schwarzenegger recall effort

Since we here at the SHoP are above playing the Copy-cat Card, let's just take a second to remind our amusing Leftist friends that they are unoriginal pieces of repeating shit. And I don't want to go into details here, but let's also just say that your Tio Jaime knows firsthand that these degenerates don't like you throwing their petition clipboards on the ground and calling them all "a bunch of clueless jagoffs".

Broadcasting loud and proud from the Blue State Frontier,
Tio Jaime

It's the Relevancy, Stupid!

I don't give a fuck what this post itself says, please let me make this clear...

The Thugs’ Goons

... but what kind of mental retards do they have coming over to comment on their blog of rage?

I am wholly astounded. I didn't think it was possible to out-unintelligible these mental magicians, but they appear to have met their match. At least when SixH goes over and asks about pie or spaceships it's entertaining.

I'm drinking tonight. Liver, you have been warned...

All my love,
Jihad Jimmy, Minister of War Crimes and Chief Defender of the Faith

god what a butterface & lizzy caplan is hot when she's not skanky & man i wanna play halo right now

Enough 3am Criticizing. I'm gonna shower and play Halo.

all my love,
Tio J

Wednesday Night Live 3amC Triple-header of E-Ring, Related, and OVER * THERE

You are now in chat room "NBCcanEatMe." TioJ has entered the chat room. TioJ (8:00:37 PM): hello dere TioJ (8:00:53 PM): Ok so contrary to tv.yahoo.com, E-Ring is first, then martha stewart TioJ (8:01:07 PM): watching E-Ring righ tnow, gonna work out as well... TioJ (8:01:37 PM): i'll be here TioJ (8:15:19 PM): FUCK YOU TERRORISTS! TioJ (8:18:19 PM): la la la, gotta go into iran to rescue benjamin bratt TioJ (8:21:10 PM): FUCK YOU SIX FLAGS RETARD TioJ (8:21:54 PM): YEHA KILL THAT FUCKING GOAT BITCH TioJ (8:21:57 PM): oh no goat TioJ (8:22:31 PM): whoa hi butterface TioJ (8:24:12 PM): fuck you terrorist... we should invade your shit TioJ (8:30:30 PM): he put maggots in his would, Gladiator-style TioJ (8:37:10 PM): that's the stupidest reason TioJ (8:37:29 PM): this is why you don't let politicians wage war TioJ (8:37:50 PM): YOU FUCKIN' TERRORIST TioJ (8:38:08 PM): FUCK YOU TERRORISTS TioJ (8:38:28 PM): LOL FUCK YOU TERRORIST KID TioJ (8:42:30 PM): that's horseshit TioJ (8:42:34 PM): Yes on 74 then TioJ (8:42:46 PM): probably dicks the teachers' union TioJ (8:42:52 PM): that's why they don't like it TioJ (8:42:53 PM): fuck 'em TioJ (8:43:00 PM): OK i'm back TioJ (8:43:12 PM): butterface TioJ (8:43:42 PM): oh, and change of plan... i'll watch the premiere of the WB's Related TioJ (8:43:48 PM): will tape Marthat Stewart TioJ (8:45:07 PM): yeah fuck persian blood TioJ (8:45:42 PM): WTF, yo TioJ (8:45:44 PM): he has to sign forms TioJ (8:46:16 PM): ooh yeah hi grumpy marine TioJ (8:46:44 PM): aww yeah black woman in the marines TioJ (8:48:38 PM): yeah bitch TioJ (8:48:42 PM): don't fuck w/the marine chick TioJ (8:50:17 PM): gotta pee TioJ (8:50:19 PM): brb TioJ (8:53:48 PM): god what a butterface TioJ (8:54:30 PM): he didn't fire at the first FUCK YOU TERORIST TioJ (8:54:33 PM): TERRORIST TioJ (8:54:44 PM): FUCK YOU TERRORIST TioJ (8:54:54 PM): oh shit TioJ (8:55:42 PM): and onelast FUCK YOU TERRORIST TioJ (8:56:07 PM): heh never good with maps TioJ (8:57:05 PM): she didn't mention "cunt" as one of the no-no words TioJ (8:57:41 PM): yeah because TioJ (8:57:53 PM): yeah because Bibles are like lucky charms, right? TioJ (8:58:21 PM): yeah but it was killing TEERRORISTS so God is OK w/that... TioJ (8:59:39 PM): next wednesday e-ring at its new time TioJ (8:59:52 PM): "the most intense e-ring yet" TioJ (8:59:55 PM): i would hope so TioJ (8:59:59 PM): TioJ (9:00:13 PM): Premiere Night on the WB continues TioJ (9:01:13 PM): her job is shallow? is she a stripper or something? TioJ (9:01:38 PM): daddy's girlfriend TioJ (9:02:33 PM): wait, i thought that chick was his GF? TioJ (9:02:47 PM): turn the fucking music off already TioJ (9:03:40 PM): Jennifer Esposity TioJ (9:03:45 PM): Kiele Sanchez TioJ (9:03:47 PM): Lizzy Caplan TioJ (9:03:55 PM): Laura Breck-insomething TioJ (9:04:05 PM): ooh it's the lesbian chick from Mean Girls! TioJ (9:04:59 PM): incidentally was reading an old SHoP post which references Rachel McAdams TioJ (9:05:24 PM): i wonder if this is gonna suck more than Martha Stewart would've TioJ (9:05:55 PM): i want lizzy caplan to molest me TioJ (9:06:17 PM): phone chain TioJ (9:06:55 PM): that was kind of annoying TioJ (9:08:58 PM): LOL TioJ (9:09:03 PM): that sanchez chick is kinda cute TioJ (9:09:58 PM): i'm heating up dinner TioJ (9:12:50 PM): annoying TioJ (9:12:54 PM): i'm gonna wash some dishes too... TioJ (9:13:41 PM): i wanna spank lizzy caplan TioJ (9:20:02 PM): i wanna touch lizzy caplan's crotch TioJ (9:22:54 PM): wow so the future waitresses of NYC take radical theater at NYU? TioJ (9:22:56 PM): wonderful TioJ (9:23:40 PM): that's bob? TioJ (9:23:51 PM): oh that's bob TioJ (9:23:56 PM): oh whatever TioJ (9:23:59 PM): like i fucking care TioJ (9:32:08 PM): ooh i wanna lick lizzy caplan's boobs TioJ (9:38:42 PM): FUCK YOU MASTERCARD TioJ (9:38:50 PM): i hate those fucking priceless commercials TioJ (9:39:10 PM): and i kinda wanna fuck sara gilbert too TioJ (9:43:33 PM): what a stupid show TioJ (9:43:53 PM): if it wasn't for the cleavage and the fact that I was taping martha stewart, i would've been halo-ing TioJ (9:49:50 PM): i wanna dye my hair blue for Big Game week TioJ (9:59:50 PM): lizzy caplan is hot when she's not skanky TioJ (9:59:52 PM): behold the v-chip! TioJ (10:00:13 PM): TV MA LSV TioJ (10:00:22 PM): perhaps some naked nicki aycox TioJ (10:00:43 PM): is this the season finale? TioJ (10:02:39 PM): that long of a recap should mean a season finale TioJ (10:02:55 PM): ahh, no there are two more episodes in this season TioJ (10:06:23 PM): you stupid cunt, use your goddam head TioJ (10:06:54 PM): well duh it was a chessboard TioJ (10:07:01 PM): that was a goddam chess clock TioJ (10:07:14 PM): OVER * THERE TioJ (10:10:26 PM): fuckin' french TioJ (10:10:51 PM): ooh hot chick TioJ (10:10:57 PM): makin' kool-aid TioJ (10:11:58 PM): i like her boobies TioJ (10:16:48 PM): fuck the blue man group TioJ (10:24:24 PM): you should beat down that little kid TioJ (10:24:30 PM): lest he terrorize your asses TioJ (10:27:40 PM): shit TioJ (10:27:44 PM): goddam terrorists TioJ (10:35:53 PM): Ok so the kid died TioJ (10:35:54 PM): BFD TioJ (10:46:18 PM): damn that french chick is ugly TioJ (10:50:48 PM): ha ha FUCK YOU DIM TioJ (10:51:12 PM): wow there was more romolo in this episode than there was doublewide TioJ (10:51:16 PM): and where was the nudity? TioJ (10:51:53 PM): AND SHUT OFF THE FUCKING CELLO MUSIC ALREADY TioJ (10:53:22 PM): man i wanna play halo right now TioJ (10:53:57 PM): shitty theme song at last TioJ (10:54:06 PM): never before have i been so excited to hear it TioJ (10:54:14 PM): because now this shitty episode is done TioJ (10:55:08 PM): LOL TioJ (10:55:14 PM): croissant TioJ (10:55:18 PM): aww yeah bitch TioJ (10:55:22 PM): oh man she's ugly TioJ (10:56:06 PM): OVER * THERE TioJ (10:56:19 PM): Stay chuned for scenes from the all new episode of O * T TioJ (10:58:25 PM): in two weeks TioJ (10:58:50 PM): TV's most controversial series TioJ (10:59:00 PM): huh? TioJ (10:59:05 PM): thought there were two episodes TioJ (10:59:20 PM): whatever the fuck ever TioJ has left the chat room.

SixHertz House of FriendSHiP!

[update date=20051006 time=0938
OK wait, now my comment is there. In between #2 and #3 from last night. WTF?
[/update]

not gonna bust out the Hell Hath No Fury shit just yet...

but having just edited this post as a courtesy, you'll be surprised to find out which SHoPper was the angrier one...

all my love,
Jihad Jimmy, Minister of War Crimes and Chief Defender of the Faith

9:53 PM JihadJimmyMWCCDF: WTF JihadJimmyMWCCDF: i commented on this kid's blog JihadJimmyMWCCDF: the one you linked to on the SHoP LMHBrent: oh? JihadJimmyMWCCDF: he deleted my comment LMHBrent: which one did i link again? LMHBrent: ohhh LMHBrent: the rightwing clothing? JihadJimmyMWCCDF: yeah that's the one JihadJimmyMWCCDF: WTF LMHBrent: wtf LMHBrent: why would he delete it LMHBrent: that's [DELETED] JihadJimmyMWCCDF: i commented about being republican, and berkeley JihadJimmyMWCCDF: the little [DELETED] 9:55 PM LMHBrent: what an [DELETED] LMHBrent: [DELETED] JihadJimmyMWCCDF: he probably got scared LMHBrent: what an [DELETED] JihadJimmyMWCCDF: what did this kid e-mail you anyway? LMHBrent: he didn't JihadJimmyMWCCDF: thought you said he found your blogger profile LMHBrent: i just found his thing through the facebook JihadJimmyMWCCDF: oh LMHBrent: well he e-mailed me yeah LMHBrent: but it was a form thing LMHBrent: like i got an email from the facebook saying this guy wanted me to join his group JihadJimmyMWCCDF: oh LMHBrent: i think he probably sent it out to a lot of berkeley conservatives LMHBrent: so i never really spoke to him direclty LMHBrent: what a [DELETED] JihadJimmyMWCCDF: hey come watch OVER * THERE LMHBrent: i can't LMHBrent: i have to wake up at 4 10:05 PM JihadJimmyMWCCDF: oh hey, i meant to ask JihadJimmyMWCCDF: you're not on friendster, huh? LMHBrent: nope LMHBrent: Rafterman once invited me JihadJimmyMWCCDF: that's good LMHBrent: i never joined JihadJimmyMWCCDF: ha ha LMHBrent: i think he may still be miffed at me for that JihadJimmyMWCCDF: why? he doesn't care JihadJimmyMWCCDF: he shouldn't at least 10:10 PM JihadJimmyMWCCDF: i should've been playing Halo tonight 10:15 PM JihadJimmyMWCCDF: i'm posting this. linking to this kid's post LMHBrent: okay LMHBrent: do it