Wow! He slaughtered Kerry tonight. 3-am critic blog coming up in a few minutes...standby...
Wednesday, October 13, 2004
Tennessee Democrats Compare Republicans To Special Olympics Children
Tennessee Democrats Compare Republicans To Special Olympics Children
Yup. Here's to working together for the betterment of the country...I wonder how typical this is in the minds of some democrats across the country.
Tuesday, October 12, 2004
You Want To See Some Goddamn Optimism?
...from the 13 October 2004 edition of The Onion.
by Sen. John Edwards (D-NC)
Thank you!
Thank you all so much for that warm welcome. It's wonderful to be back in the great state of Wisconsin. Yessiree bob.
I want to thank the good people at Krueger Dairy here in New Glarus for permitting me to visit your terrific cheese factory and stir the whey a little. And thanks very much for this complimentary Krueger Dairy T-shirt. Here, look, I'm putting it on over my shirt and tie. Oh, there's a cap? I'll put that fucker on, too! Cheeese!
Thanks! Thanks so much for laughing at that—and the cheese pun! Just injecting a little humor into the proceedings, because you "regular folks" eat that shit up! The polls say voters want optimism, not analysis. Well, I really want to be your vice president, so I'm more than willing to avoid all that intellectual mumbo-jumbo. My fellow Americans, you want to see some fucking optimism? Let's go! By the time I'm through here, you'll be shitting candy canes! Chim chim cheree!
Any blue-collar laborers out there? Wow! A lot of hands! Well, line up for your complimentary ass-kiss! You keep this country strong! Now, I think you deserve better than what you've received from the present administration, but I won't be a Negative Nelly and go into all the details. I'm at a cheese factory, for Christ's sake, not some goddamn international symposium on economic policy. You probably all want to go home and watch TV. I'll just briefly mention that, as the son of a humble textile-mill worker from North Carolina, I understand the challenges average Americans face. I won't elaborate, though. What is this, the "culture wars"? Ha! Know what? I love watching TV, too! Law & Order, Friends... I eat that shit up.
And how about my middle-class people? Any middle-class people out there? Hey! Who's gonna be your next vice president? All right! Let's hear it for pot bellies and minivans and stinky disposable diapers! How about a shout-out to credit-card debt? I love it! I wish I could pinch your chubby little chipmunk cheeks! If you put John Kerry and me in the White House, we'll have each one of you in the driver's seat of a brand-new SUV. Your bosses will be less cranky, your children will be kept in trucker hats and iPods, and your TV screens will grow even wider. Those who are bald will wake up one morning and magically find themselves with thick heads of luxurious, silky hair. You'll open your refrigerators and 15-pound hams will tumble out. Your dog might even start to talk, and the first thing he'll say is "I love you." It'll be that good.
Did I mention... the tax cut? John Kerry and I support a nice, big, fat, fucking tax cut for you, because let's face it, nothing good can ever come from taxes. They're a big pain in the ass! We'll do fine without 'em! There! I'm feeling so cheery, I wouldn't be surprised if a friggin' unicorn stepped out on stage and started humpin' my leg!
Say, anybody out there a fan of... the Green Bay Packers? All right! Cool!
God bless this wonderful country! As I travel across this great and glorious land of ours, my belief in America is continuously renewed. Not that it ever needs to be renewed, as it is always high. Incredibly high! I should add that John Kerry and I will keep America strong. I won't bore you with a bunch of fucking specifics. Just know that, should you elect John Kerry, we'll be able to bounce a goddamn quarter off our border! We'll have big impenetrable gates made of gumdrops and, I don't know, gold. Whatever the fuck! And they'll magically slide open when someone pure of heart approaches and says, "Let me back in, America! My Caribbean cruise was nice, but there's no place like home!"
Oh, that reminds me! God bless our troops in Iraq! They have served America bravely and well. If elected, John Kerry and I will work with the international community to rid the world of terrorism. In fact, come next Christmas, our young men and women will be back home, wearing bright red sweaters with reindeer and bells on the front. That might seem like an impossibly tall order, but just a few years ago, I was an unknown trial lawyer. Now, I'm running for the second-highest office in this great land! I'm smiling so wide, the top of my head might fall off!
Wow! Look at the time! Well, I have to hop a jet to Florissant, Missouri to address some more patriots. Thank you so, so much for giving me the opportunity to speak to you all! It's been super! Let's work together to pave the way for a big, bright, beautiful fucking future for America, all right? So all the world can once again say, "Hey, where's that warm, golden glow coming from? Why, it's coming from the U.S. of A., where cocks are thick, tits are perky, and sunbeams shine out of everyone's asses!"
This is a picture I took in front of the Supreme Court in Washington DC last Sunday. They're pro-life activists and will be there until the elections on November 2nd, one day for each of the years Roe v. Wade has been in effect. It's a peaceful protest that's getting no coverage in the media, so I figured I'd put the word out into the blogosphere for anyone who is interested. Permission was granted to photograph the participants.
Rush Limbaugh drives the point home about Kerry's New York Times article statement
The argument about Kerry's remark regarding terrorism, and how the goal should be for it to be a "nuisance" once again, is flawed in a fundamental way. I don't always agree with Rush, but this time he hits the nail on the head with this argument with a caller from NC:
BEGIN TRANSCRIPT
RUSH: To the phones we go now as we start intermingling those who listen to this program as part of the content and we'll start, this is Charlotte, North Carolina, with Adam. Nice to have you, sir. Hello.
CALLER: Hey, good to talk to you, Rush.
RUSH: Thank you.
CALLER: Listen, I just have to take issue. I listen to you all the time and I don't disagree with a lot of what you say, but I just don't understand why you can't concede that Kerry does have a point. Terrorism is not going to be -- what he's saying is that terrorism is not going to be able to be eradicated totally, and I think that everybody knows that. You're always talking about how the American public is smarter than we give them credit for, and most people sort of get that the only way to grow religion is to persecute it, and that's what they see us doing.
RUSH: The only way to grow religion is to persecute it?
CALLER: I mean not the only -- the quickest way to grow religion is to persecute it. You're going to coalesce a whole group of people that otherwise wouldn't have had as much --
RUSH: You know, let me tell you something. Adam, how old are you?
CALLER: I'm 26.
RUSH: 26. Are you in school? Are you working? What are you doing?
CALLER: I'm working. I'm going back to school soon to be a teacher, but yes, working now.
RUSH: You're going to be a teacher?
CALLER: Yeah.
RUSH: Then I want you to do something for me. I want you to go back and learn some history, because you are unfortunately sadly so wrong about this. You know who you sound like? You sound like the British Labor Party prior to World War II. "We can deal with Hitler, we can make a deal with him. Hitler doesn't want to do anything other than run his own country. If we go after Hitler we're only going to going to make him mad. We've got to gear up for another war coming after World War I. We can't do this." There was one man that sounded the call. Winston Churchill warned them what was going to happen and Churchill was right. It's not persecuting a religion and making the religion stronger. We were attacked. You have in your head what John Kerry means and you think we've got to manage terror. Don't forget John Kerry said he's being consistent here. He said one time ago that the terror threat in this country is exaggerated anyway, that Bush has exaggerated the terror. And Teresa Heinz Kerry who knows him in the Biblical sense to bring religion into it, at one time said hey we're just going to have to learn to live with it like the Europeans do, remember that? We just gotta learn to live with terrorism, the Europeans do this all the time. And then you have these quotes from Kerry in the New York Times Sunday magazine yesterday, where he wants to treat it as a law enforcement issue just as we did during the nineties. He wants to treat it as a nuisance when some Americans die occasionally, but not enough Americans die all at once to warrant us doing anything about it, we want to manage terror? How? Who we gonna manage terror with? Who we going to talk to? What are we going to give them? What are we going say to make them stop? How do we manage terror?
In the meantime, the one person who's understood this threat and dealt with it accordingly is George W. Bush. And since 9/11, you look at all of the opportunities Al-Qaeda and anybody else has had to repeat 9/11 in this country, around the world, we've had Olympics, we've had World Series, we've had Super Bowls, we've had parades, we've had conventions, we have had elections, any opportunity, abundant opportunities for Al-Qaeda to show they're still strong and on the march and to recruit, and to get even more blood-thirsty murderers to sign up with them, and not one attack on our soil. Somebody must be doing something right, and guess what? We're not treating it as a law enforcement issue. We are treating it as a war. I don't know what you think is law enforcement about the World Trade Center and the Pentagon being blown up in the spate of an hour and a half on September 11th. This idea that you can manage this problem and make it go away so it's only just a nuisance, you need to run around in your history books if you're going to be a teacher, Adam, you need to run around and take a look at all the appeasers in the past who have been proved wrong, and they are proved wrong because they don't understand evil. They don't understand bad guys, if you don't like the term evil. And, frankly, they don't even understand criminals if you want to get down to it. Because ultimately they blame America for causing all of this because we're too powerful or we're too big or we're to prosperous or we're to wealthy or we're too rich.
Well, frankly, I'd rather be on a course where we haven't had a port blown up, we haven't had a ballpark blown up, we haven't had a parade blown up, we have not had any more tall buildings blown up, none of our elections have been cancelled or blown up, and none of our political conventions. All of these opportunities where we thought it was going to happen, it was a ripe opportunity, and we're told it's going to happen not if, but when, we can't stop it. But it hasn't happened. And we're not fighting it as we did in the nineties when it was treated as a nuisance. When they blew up the World Trade Center in 1993, fine, go after the two guys that did it, put 'em in jail, bammo, sure stopped it, didn't it? Talk to the families of the dead at Khobar Towers, the families of the dead in Saudi Arabia, the families of the dead on the USS Cole. That's a nuisance, when Americans die only occasionally and in manageable numbers so that we don't have to gear up and actually treat this as a problem. We can just treat it as a bunch of madmen, and oops they slipped through our grasp this time but we'll do better next time.
This is the most irresponsible statement on what we face that I have come across yet, and then, Adam, when you add the quote from little Ricky Holbrooke who will be Kerry's secretary of state, ostensibly, if Kerry wins, here's his quote. "We're not in a war on terror in the literal sense. The war on terror is like saying the war on poverty. It's just a metaphor. What we're really talking about is winning the ideological struggle so that people stop turning themselves into suicide bombers."
Well, hell's bells, what are elections in Afghanistan about, Adam? Go read your history books. Go take a look at what freedom does for people around the world. And that's what we're trying to do. We've got some lame brain who planted trees in Kenya who wins the Nobel Peace Prize, who then comes out and says that AIDS is manufactured to wipe out black people. Meanwhile, George W. Bush has liberated 50 million people in Iraq and Afghanistan, and doesn't even qualify for the Nobel Peace Prize. It's absolutely absurd. And this is the kind of gunk and garbage that's taught in academia today and in the public school system. The fact of the matter is if Holbrooke says we've got to change and win the ideological argument. Where does that take place? We're not in an ideological argument with bin Laden, we're in an ideological argument with the young people in these countries that are born and taught rage and hatred in school from the time their mommies send them away from home. It's just absurd to sit here and say that this is something that needs to be managed. It's a growing problem, it has been growing, but because it's so slow -- you know, Adam, you remind me of the frog in a pot of cold water. They turn on the flame, and it heats up gradually. By the time the frog thinks it's hot, he's dead, he's been boiled to death. And if we leave it up to thinking like yours we're going to be the frog in the boiling pot of water.
The fact of the matter is we've got a track record of success to show here, and we've got the Democratic Party's two nominees for president and vice president running around with the biggest pitch of doom and gloom and fear-mongering, lying through their teeth. It's gotten to the point that Kerry is out there now saying too bad Christopher Reeve died, if he just stuck around a little bit longer stem cell research that Bush opposes might have made him walk again. Well, Bush is the only one who's funded stem cell research, number 1. Number 2, there's no evidence whatsoever that stem cell research is going to cure anything. Just a classic example -- now Kerry is out there saying, "Well, we need to manage this. We need to get back to where it's just a nuisance." And here's Holbrooke.
By the way, the war on poverty, we finally have a liberal Democrat admitting here we're not trying to win that? It's just a metaphor? The war on poverty is just a metaphor? He's equating it to the war on terror. We're not trying to win the war on poverty, either? That's going to come as news to LBJ's ghost.
END TRANSCRIPT
I especially like the change to Costco's liberal return policy with these items...
Probably so you don't freak out the customers at the store...
Monday, October 11, 2004
Capitalism's Social Agenda
The beautiful thing about capitalism is that it has no overt social agenda. It is singularly focused and narrow-mindedly devoted to making as large a profit for the least possible expenditure. Who could possibly argue with that?
I myself participated in several forays into the world of capitalism and consumerism this weekend, much to my Republican delight. I bought a filthy-assed pumpkin from Safeway for $6. Damn, that M-F'er was bigger than a basketball. I also went to Wal-Mart and bought three pairs of jeans, a belt and a "Proud to be Republican" ballcap for $62. Ain't Capitalism grand?
OK I had to put the jeans on layaway because I had left my credit card at the Mall. I had enough cash on me to hold the jeans (took like half an hour to find the ones i wanted).
The point is, can Wal-Mart offer such wacky prices if their social agenda was more progressive in nature? Look at Starbucks and Ben and Jerry's. You can have baristas who have great benefits despite having jobs as baristas, and you can have ice cream that is more in tune with things like the environment and psychedelia, but this will cost you, as a common American consumer.
So what this really boils down to is you.
"Only *who* can prevent forest fires? You said 'YOU' referring to me. The correct answer is You."
And again, as is a recurring theme in America, the choices available to the American consumer are the envy of the rest of the world. I *can* buy things for myself that are cheap and socially unenlightened. Likewise, I *can* buy the more expensive things that tout such holier-than-thou proclamations like "recycled" or "dolphin-safe" or "No CFCs."
And interestingly enough, I'm gonna lump "Made in the USA" in with the holier-than-thou labels. You'll hear people clamoring for you to buy american cars made in american factories which use foreign machinery and tools on their assembly lines. Makes no sense to me, and it shouldn't to you either if you're as Republican as I'm guessing you claim to be.
I drive a Toyota that was assembled in Fremont, CA. I drive by the NUMMI Auto Plant everyday on my way to work. When I pass by the Toyota factory in my Toyota herself, I honk out LORELAI in morse code. Her name is Lorelai, if you didn't make the connection...
Back to the point: if you like buying things that are more socially conscious, go ahead, it's your money. But don't think your shit doesn't stink because you have more social awareness than I do. I'd rather have my five bucks than your social awareness and associated internal guilt and turmoil because you live in America while there are so many out there who don't.
A couple of things to close this post and open your week:
1) Fuck you, LA Dodgers. Fuck you, U$C... you almost lost to Cal you arrogant bastards with useless degrees and all of 2 nobel laureates.
2) Reducing paper usage does not save trees. Those trees are grown specifically for that purpose. It's like saying that reducing corn consumption saves corn.
Friday, October 08, 2004
ARE YOU READY FOR SOME DEBATE-AGE?
I've been asked to review the 2nd presidential debate, 3am Critic-style.
The 3am Critic, because I'm positive that absolutely nobody knows what the hell I'm talking about, was a contributor to a past favorite website of mine, berkeleysucks.com. The site is dead now, but one of the dudes liked to review movies this way, chatting with himself in iChat. Or that craptacular AIM. Most likely AIM because iChat doesn't have a good timestamp
Anycrap, if you're looking for more television, but in pissed-off-berkeley-engineer form, check out some of these reviews:
24 Season 2, Ronald Reagan dies, Smarty Jones makes a run for the Triple Crown
Season Premier of The Amazing Race 5, from Santa Monica, CA
Wow I watch a lot of TV. Here are a few episodes of 24.
Here's the one I was looking for! Second to last episode of Gilmore Girls last year...
But these can all wait, here's the debate...
THE UNIVERSITY OF CALIFORNIA MARCHING BAND GLOCKENSPIEL ALUMNI ASSOCIATION IS PROUD TO PRESENT WITHOUT COMMERCIALS THE SECOND PRESIDENTIAL DEBATE OF 2004
(go bears, beat U$C)
(contains spicy language)
**********
Poke00210 (5:58:48 PM): WELL IT'S ABOUT DAMN TIME
Poke00210 (5:59:28 PM): WHAT KIND OF PIECE OF SHIT COMPUTER TAKES 10 MINUTES TO START UP?!?
Poke00210 (5:59:37 PM): A FUCKING DELL, THAT'S WHAT KIND!
Poke00210 (6:00:05 PM): IF I HAD MY APPLE POWERBOOK HERE W/ME I WOULDN'T HAVE WASTED VALUABLE TIME
Poke00210 (6:00:31 PM): Please to be welcoming to Tio Jaime's 3am Criticizing of the 2nd 2004 Presidential Debate
Poke00210 (6:00:37 PM): some stupid town hall format
Poke00210 (6:00:42 PM): but apparently this is good for W
Poke00210 (6:00:50 PM): oh, herein, W = George W. Bush
Poke00210 (6:01:04 PM): ass = John Kerry
Poke00210 (6:01:32 PM): watching here @ my parents' house in San Jose, CA on Fox News Channel
Poke00210 (6:01:51 PM): yay, charles gibson?
Poke00210 (6:01:56 PM): don't know, wasn't paying attention
Poke00210 (6:02:09 PM): yay, you've assembled a town hall meeting in the Show-Me State
Poke00210 (6:02:33 PM): HOW ARE YOU PEOPLE STUPID ENOUGH NOT TO KNOW FOR WHOM YOU'RE VOTING YET?
Poke00210 (6:03:04 PM): yay, we know the light system
Poke00210 (6:03:21 PM): i don't remember what the lights mean *exactly* but then again, I don't really care
Poke00210 (6:03:23 PM): W!
Poke00210 (6:03:27 PM): ASS
Poke00210 (6:03:34 PM): I fucking hate that ass
Poke00210 (6:03:52 PM): oh it's on
Poke00210 (6:03:56 PM): Laura Bush!
Poke00210 (6:04:07 PM): "Gentlemen, to the business at hand..."
Poke00210 (6:04:41 PM): Sheryl Otis! "you're too wishy-washy [ASS], do you have a response?"
Poke00210 (6:04:59 PM): what the hell are you talking about? she asked about YOU, ass
Poke00210 (6:06:04 PM): 1) patriot act, 2) no child left behind, 3) i'm guessing it's gonna be the $87 billion for the troops
Poke00210 (6:06:16 PM): OK dude, how about you address the question?
Poke00210 (6:06:24 PM): THAT'S BECAUSE THEY PAID AN ASSLOAD INTO THE SYSTEM
Poke00210 (6:06:25 PM): FUCKER
Poke00210 (6:06:29 PM): OH GO FUCK YOURSELF
Poke00210 (6:06:32 PM): W!
Poke00210 (6:06:43 PM): "Thanks, Washington U..."
Poke00210 (6:07:02 PM): 1) $87 billion
Poke00210 (6:07:06 PM): 2) Saddam as threat
Poke00210 (6:07:26 PM): W: kerry support getting rid of saddam until democratic primary
Poke00210 (6:07:50 PM): wow, W is sticking to that dumbass housefrau's question
Poke00210 (6:08:13 PM): yeah ASS, go ahead and vote against the middle class tax cut
Poke00210 (6:08:54 PM): Robin Dahl: W, iraq no have WMD, but saddam has knowledge enough to produce WMD, is this sufficient to invade?
Poke00210 (6:09:13 PM): nice, baby, play the 9/11 card
Poke00210 (6:09:37 PM): 75% of al qaida brought to justice
Poke00210 (6:09:41 PM): yeah, take it taliban
Poke00210 (6:09:57 PM): ooh, john kerry *did* see a threat in saddam
Poke00210 (6:10:25 PM): YES YOU STUPID UNDECIDED DUMBTARDS, WE *DID* GO TO THE UN, WE DIDN'T RUSH TO WAR
Poke00210 (6:10:53 PM): "saddam hussein was a unique threat"
Poke00210 (6:11:06 PM): huh?
Poke00210 (6:11:10 PM): stupid ass
Poke00210 (6:11:54 PM): OK, ASS, we can easily see you avoid the question about IRAQ not jobs and NCLB
Poke00210 (6:12:07 PM): dumbass, don't say the C-word!
Poke00210 (6:12:18 PM): best not to remind voters of bill clinton
Poke00210 (6:12:29 PM): that's another post, another time
Poke00210 (6:12:50 PM): ooh, "took his eye off the ball" GIVE IT UP, ASS, YOU'RE A GIRLIE-MAN
Poke00210 (6:13:10 PM): LOL, W: kerry's mindset believed in UN sanctions
Poke00210 (6:13:18 PM): W: UN not effective in removing saddam
Poke00210 (6:13:32 PM): BULLSHIT THEY WORKED, YOU ASS
Poke00210 (6:13:42 PM): $200 billion saved, oh yay
Poke00210 (6:13:52 PM): ooh, kerry looks pissed
Poke00210 (6:14:13 PM): Anthony Baldy: ass, would you proceed w/same plans as W?
Poke00210 (6:14:26 PM): WHAT KIND OF STUPID QUESTION IS THAT? GO VOTE FOR KERRY, YOU DUMBTARD UNDECIDED
Poke00210 (6:14:43 PM): yeah, let the great unwashed think up questions
Poke00210 (6:15:18 PM): did ass get a facelift, or is that just my parents' broke-ass TV?
Poke00210 (6:15:33 PM): W is smirking at ass right now
Poke00210 (6:16:06 PM): Ass: "I'm gonna get the training done, gonna get our allies back to the table"
Poke00210 (6:16:10 PM): yeah, how, hmm?
Poke00210 (6:16:15 PM): dumbfuck
Poke00210 (6:16:30 PM): this is kinda cool, W seems to be really in his element
Poke00210 (6:16:52 PM): W: sounds familiar, it's called the "Bush Plan!"
Poke00210 (6:16:57 PM): yay, have a summit!
Poke00210 (6:17:17 PM): "what's ass gonna say? join me in the wrong war at the wrong time in the wrong place?"
Poke00210 (6:17:18 PM): NICE
Poke00210 (6:17:47 PM): i like that bush smirk, "you like that shit, baby?"
Poke00210 (6:17:56 PM): OH ENOUGH WITH THE CORNERING OSAMA ALREADY
Poke00210 (6:18:09 PM): oh, you just drop that in the hopes of getting a voter or two?
Poke00210 (6:18:51 PM): W: global conflict
Poke00210 (6:19:03 PM): Mickey Washington: ooh, a black woman
Poke00210 (6:19:06 PM): oh damn, she's cute
Poke00210 (6:19:17 PM): sounds like she's asking a question
Poke00210 (6:19:27 PM): W, plan to repair diplomacy w/other countries?
Poke00210 (6:19:40 PM): ooh, playing the reagan card
Poke00210 (6:20:09 PM): dude, he's good
Poke00210 (6:20:28 PM): W: arafat not the kind of person to lead to a palestinian state
Poke00210 (6:20:38 PM): hmm... W: want palestinian state
Poke00210 (6:20:48 PM): W: no join international criminal court
Poke00210 (6:21:08 PM): "sometimes in this world you make unpopular decisions because you think they're right"
Poke00210 (6:21:25 PM): "i don't think you want a president who tries to become popular and does the wrong thing"
Poke00210 (6:21:45 PM): ass: president's answer promises more of the same
Poke00210 (6:22:10 PM): ass: president said he would go to war w/viable exit strategy and sufficient troops
Poke00210 (6:22:18 PM): ass: president no listen
Poke00210 (6:22:38 PM): yeah, let hans blix do some shit
Poke00210 (6:22:41 PM): DUMBASS
Poke00210 (6:22:45 PM): HE DIDN'T RUSH TO WAR
Poke00210 (6:22:57 PM): YOU LYING ASSHOLE
Poke00210 (6:23:27 PM): W: i asked the generals, "do you have what you need", "do we have the right plan?" "yes, mr. president"
Poke00210 (6:23:55 PM): make up your mind, you retard
Poke00210 (6:24:05 PM): president in charge of peace or the fucking troops?
Poke00210 (6:24:18 PM): Randy Jakes: GET YOUR FUCKING MICROPHONE YOU DUMB HOUSEFRAU
Poke00210 (6:24:41 PM): "ass, if UN sanctions don't work against iran, whatcha gonna do, baby?"
Poke00210 (6:24:49 PM): ass: can't rely fully on UN
Poke00210 (6:24:50 PM): wow
Poke00210 (6:25:09 PM): OK and now you wanna let UN inspectors do their jobs? MAKE UP YOUR FUCKING MIND
Poke00210 (6:25:23 PM): herein, MAKE UP YOUR FUCKING MIND = MUYFM
Poke00210 (6:25:51 PM): yeah, join up w/french and germans
Poke00210 (6:26:00 PM): you gotta *plan* for that, too?
Poke00210 (6:26:18 PM): ass, 13 years for president to round up russian nukes
Poke00210 (6:26:25 PM): ass will do it in four.
Poke00210 (6:26:31 PM): wow, how'd you find that number?
Poke00210 (6:26:41 PM): "That answer almost made me wanna scowl," said W.
Poke00210 (6:26:57 PM): who, saddam was deceiving UN inspectors?!?
Poke00210 (6:27:07 PM): ooh, hi cute blonde
Poke00210 (6:27:13 PM): hi again
Poke00210 (6:27:29 PM): W on north korea: naive and dangerous to have bilateral relations w/NK
Poke00210 (6:27:55 PM): W: clinton had bilateral relations w/NK, and he FUCKED UP
Poke00210 (6:28:07 PM): shit, i'm getting choked up now
Poke00210 (6:28:26 PM): daniel farley: W, how do you intend to police world w/o draft?
Poke00210 (6:28:33 PM): OH MY GOD YOU ARE A STUPID U NDECIDED RETARD
Poke00210 (6:28:49 PM): ooh, he's building up to Ass voting against funding troops
Poke00210 (6:29:02 PM): although i wonder how much truth there is to W's cutting combat pay
Poke00210 (6:29:35 PM): dude, W is surprisingly sharp tonight
Poke00210 (6:29:46 PM): wow, that was a very eggheaded response
Poke00210 (6:30:08 PM): notice how the democrat tactic is just to destroy and oppose anything republican
Poke00210 (6:30:21 PM): nice that the republicans have PLANS
Poke00210 (6:31:01 PM): ass: me no likey draft, dis am what ass am thinking about W policy
Poke00210 (6:31:23 PM): ass: W has backdoor draft
Poke00210 (6:31:33 PM): shit, i gotta backdoor draft for you
Poke00210 (6:32:09 PM): oh nice, W took the reins of the debate
Poke00210 (6:32:15 PM): FUCK YOU MODERATOR!
Poke00210 (6:33:34 PM): ann bronsing: ass, we am fortunate no more terrorist attacks, what you do to insure this?
Poke00210 (6:34:04 PM): NOT A QUESTION ABOUT THE PRESIDENT, YOU RETARD ASSHOLE
Poke00210 (6:34:19 PM): yeah, OK HOW are you gonna do it better then ass?
Poke00210 (6:34:48 PM): holy crap, he's all over the board
Poke00210 (6:35:23 PM): oh please just *try* to answer the question
Poke00210 (6:35:34 PM): yes, we know what he did...
Poke00210 (6:35:42 PM): W: bitch, we tripled the homeland security budget
Poke00210 (6:35:56 PM): W: ass cut intelligence by 7 billion
Poke00210 (6:36:03 PM): W: we need to stay on offense
Poke00210 (6:36:22 PM): W is juking now to the patriot act
Poke00210 (6:36:37 PM): W: "i don't think my opponent has the right view on the world"
Poke00210 (6:37:05 PM): W with authority!
Poke00210 (6:37:26 PM): war requires complete understanding, says W...
Poke00210 (6:38:02 PM): ass: test not money, but if everything possible was done
Poke00210 (6:38:10 PM): HE SAID THAT HE DID, ALREADY YOU ASS
Poke00210 (6:38:56 PM): John Horseman: Pres. W, why you ban canadian drugs?
Poke00210 (6:39:01 PM): W: i haven't yet, you cock
Poke00210 (6:39:10 PM): W: i jsut want to make sure your dumb undecided ass is protected
Poke00210 (6:39:24 PM): W: we gotta make sure
Poke00210 (6:39:44 PM): W: need to speed up generic drugs
Poke00210 (6:40:13 PM): LOL he pronounced it "Missourra"
Poke00210 (6:40:44 PM): with authority!
Poke00210 (6:41:07 PM): ass: four years ago, W said canadian drugs made sense
Poke00210 (6:41:26 PM): yeah, you specifically voted for it?
Poke00210 (6:41:28 PM): were you there?
Poke00210 (6:41:36 PM): what about your gawky little bitch boy edwards?
Poke00210 (6:41:47 PM): MEDICARE DOESN'T BELONG TO THEM
Poke00210 (6:41:59 PM): IT FUCKING BELONGS TO ME AND THE REST OF THE AMERICAN TAXPAYING PUBLIC
Poke00210 (6:42:23 PM): yeah, he wants generics which is how he LOVES THE DRUG COMPANIES
Poke00210 (6:42:27 PM): you inconsistent ass
Poke00210 (6:42:44 PM): uh oh, bringing up ass's record!
Poke00210 (6:42:57 PM): ass hasn't done a thing in 20 years to help medicare
Poke00210 (6:43:28 PM): that was a stupid segue into the deficit
Poke00210 (6:44:02 PM): Norma Jean Laurent: Senator ass, your Veep candidate is a cock lawyer who appears to violate medical reform
Poke00210 (6:44:21 PM): shit, SixH just tried to call
Poke00210 (6:44:45 PM): lemme call him back
Poke00210 (6:45:20 PM): sixH thinks it's looking bad for W
Poke00210 (6:45:36 PM): said W was getting mad
Poke00210 (6:45:44 PM): "join me in rolling back W
Poke00210 (6:45:48 PM): 's tax cut"
Poke00210 (6:45:53 PM): or, "i'm an ass"
Poke00210 (6:46:20 PM): W: ass has proposed 2.2 trillion in spending
Poke00210 (6:46:37 PM): W: ass not for medical liability reform, he didn't vote for it!
Poke00210 (6:46:54 PM): W: dude, ass, you don't understand lawsuits
Poke00210 (6:47:19 PM): W: that's what liberals do, they creat gov't sponsored healthcare
Poke00210 (6:47:29 PM): would ruin quality of healthcare in america
Poke00210 (6:47:40 PM): followup
Poke00210 (6:47:53 PM): ass: didn't ask question about pain and suffering limits
Poke00210 (6:47:58 PM): ANSWER THE QUESTION
Poke00210 (6:48:05 PM): LISTEN TO THE QUESTION
Poke00210 (6:48:28 PM): W: you should've voted, ass!
Poke00210 (6:49:19 PM): Matthew O'Brian: W, you have GOP majority, you no veto spending bill, 700 billion spent, no paid for by taxes. please to be explaining.
Poke00210 (6:49:31 PM): W: we have deficit because of recession
Poke00210 (6:49:49 PM): W: stock market started dropping before i got into office
Poke00210 (6:50:16 PM): W: yes, tax cut to get out of recession!
Poke00210 (6:50:41 PM): W: tax cut increase investment
Poke00210 (6:51:29 PM): Ass: my HC plan not big government
Poke00210 (6:51:36 PM): umm, didn't think we were talking about that
Poke00210 (6:52:05 PM): ass: W first president in 76 years to lose jobs
Poke00210 (6:52:49 PM): LOL my brother gave me the finger in front of mom and he got in trouble
Poke00210 (6:53:26 PM): W: STOCK MARKET DECLINING 6 MONTHS PRIOR TO MY ADMINISTRATION
Poke00210 (6:53:38 PM): i don't think you stupid undecideds are able to comprehend that
Poke00210 (6:54:49 PM): James Varner: ass, you increase taxes on families?
Poke00210 (6:54:57 PM): ASS: yes, RIGHT INTO THE CAMERA
Poke00210 (6:55:02 PM): oh God that was scary
Poke00210 (6:56:38 PM): "read my lips: no new taxes, i'll cut middle class taxes"
Poke00210 (6:56:53 PM): W: ass not fiscally credible
Poke00210 (6:57:04 PM): ass voted over 200 times to break spending cap?
Poke00210 (6:57:27 PM): yes, how *will* he pay for 2.2 trillion in spending?
Poke00210 (6:57:39 PM): "battling green eyeshades" LOL
Poke00210 (6:57:57 PM): "based on his record, he's gonna raise your taxes"
Poke00210 (6:58:04 PM): oh, see? W has a *plan*
Poke00210 (6:58:40 PM): ass: i'm in bed w/john mccain
Poke00210 (6:58:57 PM): ass: i was one of first democrats to vote for balanced budget
Poke00210 (6:59:20 PM): W: record over 20 years says he's gonna raise your taxes
Poke00210 (6:59:33 PM): W: just not credible
Poke00210 (6:59:50 PM): James Hubb: W, how would you rate yourself as an environmentalist?
Poke00210 (6:59:57 PM): oh God what a queer question
Poke00210 (7:00:06 PM): W: reduce off road diesel emissions
Poke00210 (7:00:47 PM): W: other stuff too, sounds kinda green and fruity and shit
Poke00210 (7:01:29 PM): W: proposed hydrogen automobile
Poke00210 (7:01:36 PM): W: dude, where's my coal car
Poke00210 (7:01:48 PM): W: "dis am de good steward of the land"
Poke00210 (7:02:08 PM): ass: president not living in reality
Poke00210 (7:02:14 PM): ass: something about being a red sox fan
Poke00210 (7:02:16 PM): ???
Poke00210 (7:02:39 PM): OK he said "three" and he held up "two" fingers
Poke00210 (7:02:42 PM): DUMBASS
Poke00210 (7:03:17 PM): that's because Christine Todd Whitman was a commie-tard
Poke00210 (7:03:29 PM): (OK, i don't really know why she resigned)
Poke00210 (7:03:38 PM): ooh, Kyoto Treaty would've cost jobs
Poke00210 (7:03:46 PM): would've made us popular, yes
Poke00210 (7:03:54 PM): oh hi grumpy looking blonde
Poke00210 (7:04:13 PM): ass: Kyoto Treaty flawed
Poke00210 (7:04:26 PM): ass: W did not try to fix it
Poke00210 (7:05:09 PM): Jane Barrow: senator ass, how can US be competitive in manufacturing w/standard of life?
Poke00210 (7:05:14 PM): WTF was that stupid cunt trying to say?
Poke00210 (7:05:33 PM): ass: gonna shut loophole to move jobs overseas
Poke00210 (7:06:10 PM): yeah, your plan lowers costs and quality as well
Poke00210 (7:06:41 PM): oh, you're rolling back a tax cut?!? isn't that the same as saying you're GONNA RAISE TAXES?!? YOU DOUBLESPEAKING DEMOCRAT FUCKTARD
Poke00210 (7:07:29 PM): how does dependence on middle east oil have ANYTHING to do with healthcare and the economy?
Poke00210 (7:07:54 PM): our dependence on middle east oil has everything to do with transportation, and nothing to do with our energy policy
Poke00210 (7:08:31 PM): ooh, 900K small business will be taxed under sen. ass
Poke00210 (7:09:20 PM): ass: wall street journal says 96% of small businesses will be taxed
Poke00210 (7:09:35 PM): W: "I owned a timber company?!? Need some wood?"
Poke00210 (7:09:43 PM): oh jesus LOL
Poke00210 (7:09:55 PM): 70% of new jobs are from small businesses
Poke00210 (7:10:27 PM): rob fowler, unwashed: W, 45 days after 9/11, patriot act was passed. why my rights being watered down?
Poke00210 (7:10:30 PM): you fucking terrorist
Poke00210 (7:11:07 PM): ooh, terrorist fighting tools are already in place against drug dealers and white collar criminals
Poke00210 (7:11:24 PM): oh hi there cute blonde
Poke00210 (7:11:30 PM): Jimmy normally doesn't like blondes.
Poke00210 (7:11:33 PM): oops
Poke00210 (7:11:39 PM): "Jimmy usually doesn't like blondes"
Poke00210 (7:12:06 PM): W: fbi said would not be able to do their job w/o patriot act
Poke00210 (7:12:29 PM): ass: now he's naming republicans who said they opposed the patriot act
Poke00210 (7:12:42 PM): ass: ashcroft applied it twice incorrectly
Poke00210 (7:13:26 PM): Whatever, ass, President Lincoln suspended the writs of habeas corpus... i'm sure you would've been OK w/that
Poke00210 (7:14:26 PM): Elizabeth Long, undecided housefrau: ass, stem cells are gewd. nobody ever use embryonic stem cells to cure. is this necessary?
Poke00210 (7:14:32 PM): w: i respect your beliefs.
Poke00210 (7:14:58 PM): w: wow, michael j. fox wants us to explore embryonic stem cell research
Poke00210 (7:15:13 PM): w: yay, christopher reeve
Poke00210 (7:15:24 PM): oops
Poke00210 (7:15:31 PM): sorry, ass said those past three things
Poke00210 (7:15:47 PM): well actually yeah, that makes sense
Poke00210 (7:16:18 PM): Ok here comes W
Poke00210 (7:16:38 PM): W: embryonic stem cell research requires destruction of embryo
Poke00210 (7:17:02 PM): W: we need to be very careful balancing ethics, science
Poke00210 (7:17:10 PM): W blinded me with ethics
Poke00210 (7:17:57 PM): ass: W is waffling now
Poke00210 (7:18:22 PM): ass: bush's current lines insufficient
Poke00210 (7:19:07 PM): Johnathon Michaelson: W, vacancy in supreme court, who would you choose, why?
Poke00210 (7:19:12 PM): W: I'm not tellin'!
Poke00210 (7:19:22 PM): W: really haven't picked anybody yet
Poke00210 (7:19:32 PM): W: they're all voting for me?
Poke00210 (7:19:38 PM): man, tha'ts kinda funny
Poke00210 (7:19:59 PM): w: no pick somebody who said plege of allegiance no use God
Poke00210 (7:20:30 PM): W: no judges who let personal opinion get in the way
Poke00210 (7:21:07 PM): w: no litmus test except for constitutional interpretation
Poke00210 (7:21:21 PM): ass: W said we need conservative judges
Poke00210 (7:21:41 PM): ass, must you attack? why don't you present an answer
Poke00210 (7:22:43 PM): equal pay for equal work is not a constitutional right
Poke00210 (7:22:54 PM): Sarah Deigenhart: OH IT'S THE CUTE BLONDE
Poke00210 (7:23:30 PM): Sarah: ass, voter wants assurance that his tax dollars no go to fund abortion
Poke00210 (7:23:35 PM): ass: i'm a catholic
Poke00210 (7:23:48 PM): ass: no take article of faith and legislate it to others
Poke00210 (7:24:09 PM): OK, so how, then, can you as a Catholic support a party that is pro-abortion?
Poke00210 (7:24:45 PM): yeah, normal americans can be pro-choice but not pro-abortion, but your party is in bed with those who are pro-abortion
Poke00210 (7:24:56 PM): with those who would like to see the proliferation of abortion
Poke00210 (7:25:02 PM): oh hi sarah
Poke00210 (7:25:20 PM): W: "i'm trying to decipher that"
Poke00210 (7:25:27 PM): oh, damn sarah's cute
Poke00210 (7:25:58 PM): ass voted against partial birth abortion act
Poke00210 (7:26:04 PM): oh sarah's cute
Poke00210 (7:26:17 PM): screw this, i'm spelling it "sara"
Poke00210 (7:26:22 PM): i like that one better
Poke00210 (7:26:26 PM): ooh, she's wearing brown
Poke00210 (7:26:29 PM): i like brown
Poke00210 (7:27:31 PM): ass: i'm against partial birth abortion, i'm not in favor of raped daughters asking her rapist's father's permission to have an abortion
Poke00210 (7:27:41 PM): BOTOXOR
Poke00210 (7:27:48 PM): B0T0X0R
Poke00210 (7:28:21 PM): Linda Graebel: W, during last four years, you've made thousands of decisions, 3 instances that you've made a wrong decision?
Poke00210 (7:28:26 PM): oh hi sara
Poke00210 (7:28:37 PM): damn, i would like to be molested by her
Poke00210 (7:28:45 PM): ooh yeah
Poke00210 (7:28:49 PM): molested *bad*
Poke00210 (7:28:53 PM): hurt me momma
Poke00210 (7:29:16 PM): OK W just answer the questions
Poke00210 (7:29:23 PM): oh hi sara
Poke00210 (7:29:25 PM): she looks catatonic
Poke00210 (7:29:59 PM): sara needs tio jaime loving
Poke00210 (7:30:08 PM): oh she smiled!
Poke00210 (7:30:17 PM): she has a goofy Bus Lady Extreme smile!
Poke00210 (7:30:58 PM): ass: W made catastrophic mistake by not building true global coalition, not giving inspectors enough time, going to war as last resort
Poke00210 (7:31:33 PM): don't go there, ass
Poke00210 (7:31:41 PM): who didn't vote for the armor?
Poke00210 (7:32:06 PM): LOL he *did* vote against the $87 billion!
Poke00210 (7:32:16 PM): "i voted for the 87 billion before i voted against it"
Poke00210 (7:32:45 PM): "i made a mistake in the way i talked about it. he made a mistake in invading iraq. which is worse?"
Poke00210 (7:32:57 PM): YOU UNORIGINAL PIECE OF REPEATING SHIT
Poke00210 (7:33:11 PM): yay, closing statements!
Poke00210 (7:33:19 PM): ass: thank you all! i'm an ass
Poke00210 (7:33:25 PM): no, he really did say that
Poke00210 (7:33:40 PM): i'm practically a democrat, so why wouldn't you trust me
Poke00210 (7:34:02 PM): yeah right ass wouldn't bow down to the UN
Poke00210 (7:34:05 PM): KENNEDY
Poke00210 (7:34:18 PM): OH, WHO ALMOST GOT OUR SHIT BLOWN UP CUBA-STYLE
Poke00210 (7:34:23 PM): FUCK DUDE
Poke00210 (7:34:36 PM): you tard
Poke00210 (7:34:38 PM): show sara again
Poke00210 (7:34:44 PM): Dude, Where's My Sara?
Poke00210 (7:35:06 PM): bull shit you're an optimist
Poke00210 (7:35:18 PM): the very nature of the democratic party excludes optimism
Poke00210 (7:35:35 PM): oh that grumpy chick behind W looks pissed
Poke00210 (7:35:39 PM): SHOW SARA
Poke00210 (7:36:00 PM): see? *here's* optimism
Poke00210 (7:36:27 PM): see? *here's* a plan
Poke00210 (7:37:06 PM): LOL
Poke00210 (7:37:11 PM): he said "haters"
Poke00210 (7:37:15 PM): 'sup playa!
Poke00210 (7:37:44 PM): ooh, debate at ASU
Poke00210 (7:37:59 PM): chicks there are waaaay hotter than sara dago-meister or whatever her name was
Poke00210 (7:38:24 PM): GOODNIGHT, ST. LOUIS!!!
Poke00210 (7:38:35 PM): ooh, bye sara!
Poke00210 (7:38:43 PM): ooh hi sara
Poke00210 (7:38:55 PM): eww, hi teresa
Poke00210 (7:39:01 PM): ooh yeah hi laura
Poke00210 (7:39:20 PM): dude, where's my sara?
Poke00210 (7:39:23 PM): =(
Poke00210 (7:39:46 PM): B0T0X0R
Poke00210 (7:40:07 PM): yay
Poke00210 (7:40:15 PM): oh, kerry daughter?
Poke00210 (7:40:18 PM): OK
Poke00210 (7:40:22 PM): she's no sara, but she'll do
Poke00210 (7:40:32 PM): OK time for dinner
Poke00210 (7:40:34 PM): i'm hungry
Poke00210 (7:40:47 PM): Vote Republican!
News Flash: The Media is RETARDED
Take a look at the graphs above. They're from the US Department of Labor, Bureau of Labor Statistics.
The first one is job growth. The other is unemployment rate. These graphs go back to 1975, and if you go to the site, you can see as far back as 1939 when the statistics appear to begin. First off, look at the downward trend just as President Bush took office. Then look at the time around September 11, 2001. And then look at the numbers since then.
The point is, the media's focus only on this month's numbers is myopic. Nobody is looking at the big picture.
happy halloWeen
Came up with a good idea as I was driving home in Oakland, CA (home of Rep. Barbara Lee, who is a fucktard) a couple of days ago. Actually, the idea initially was billed as "fucking brilliant" to SixH who I called in my Republican epiphany, but has since been downgraded to good.
I was passing by a pumpkin patch...
1) Purchase/steal phatty, dope-ass pumpkin.
2) Cut asymmetrical hole around stem
3) Remove seeds, other inside "gunk"
4) VERY IMPORTANT!!! Carve big, honkin' "W" on side of pumpkin.
5) Stick toothpick in bottom of pumpkin, light candle, place on toothpick.
6) Display in window of apartment in liberal Oakland, CA.
Congratulations, you have made your own JohnKerryLies o'Lantern!
This is my one original idea for the year, so enjoy it. Normally I find that all my good ideas are just ganked from other people, and modified with a special Jimmy Flavor.
Thursday, October 07, 2004
The quiz just shows you how similar the two parties are to one another
I'm not suprised that you don't see a significant deviation from our two political parties. The questions appear to be equally weighted and vague, so you're going to get results that may put two very different people into the same category. I'm somewhat suprised that Kerry's red dot isn't jumping around the box.
Here are my scores on the axis:
X: 6.5
Y: 2.15
Post your scores in the comments section!
OK now I'm *more* confused. You can take "The World's Smallest Political Quiz" and wipe with it
OK I'm pissed, SixH. I took your retard quiz, and it's saying I'm *this* close to being a democrat... so I found a more thorough quiz-- one which I took a month ago but forgot about-- and am taking it right now. The questions are a bit more detailed, albeit vague.
The Political Compass
OK still taking the quiz, and it looks like I lose conservative points whenever I'm asked about legalization of drugs. Although, any true conservative should realize that grown adults should be allowed to Pursue Happiness, even if that means they inject or ingest illicit substances.
OK this quiz is using a lot of superlatives. Which means that as a true conservative *who reads questions thoroughly and interprets them literally* I'm now answering liberally to those questions to which I would normally respond conservatively.
"What's good for the most successful corporations is always, ultimately, good for all of us." Yeah, do I Strongly Disagree, Disagree, Agree, or Strongly Agree with that? Well, obviously I disagree... only people who haven't read the question or are extremeley short-sighted on the side of blind-Republicanism will agree.
OK there you go. I'm an Authoritarian Right, right around Tony Blair.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS THIS HORSESHIT?!? Click on the US Election 2004 link and holy crap, I'm right there next to John Kerry!!! OK looks like this quiz is a piece of crappola as well...
I better get back to work so I can leave at a decent hour.
Confused about where you stand? Take the World's Smallest Political Quiz!
It's by no means comprehensive, but it's a fun quiz to take. Here are my results:
Take the quiz here.
This sounds way too much like Ace Ventura: Pet Detective
Former NFL kicker sought in shooting at Siegfried & Roy home
LAS VEGAS, Nevada (AP) -- A former place-kicker for the Oakland Raiders is being sought in a drive-by shooting at the home of entertainers Siegfried Fischbacher and Roy Horn, police said Wednesday.
Cole Murdoch Ford, 31, whose three-year NFL career ended after he missed crucial kicks during the 1997 season, was named in a felony warrant stemming from the September 21 shooting, Sgt. Chris Jones said.
Police identified Ford as the owner of a white minivan from which shots were fired at the compound owned by the illusionists known as Siegfried & Roy. No one was hurt, but police said shotgun pellets shattered windows and left a hole in a wall.
Police have not said if the two men were home at the time.
Jones said police considered Ford armed and dangerous, and said he might be living in a hotel or camping in southern Nevada or nearby states.
Ford faces six felony warrant charges of discharging a firearm from a motor vehicle and two felony counts of assault with a deadly weapon.
Initially, the case was labeled a hate crime after a witness told police the gunman shouted that the entertainers should get out of the country. Later police said it was not bias-related.
Horn and friends celebrated his 60th birthday on Sunday -- a year to the day after a near-fatal tiger mauling left Horn partially paralyzed and forced the long-running Siegfried & Roy show to close.
Ford was drafted out of the University of Southern California in 1995 by the Pittsburgh Steelers but was released before the season began. He signed with the Raiders and remained on the team for three seasons before being cut.
Wednesday, October 06, 2004
Just an observation...
If you live in California, you've definitely seen a fad (??) of sorts going around. These crazy (and, frankly, stupid-) looking sun visors, which happen to be worn primarily by females of Asian heritage.
And trust me, the one you see the girl on the right wearing is the least bad-looking one I've seen. They come in putrid trim colors and tinted UV screens. And people actually wear this crap.
Now, I'm willing to bet that this is one reason why we don't see Asian fashion making it here in the United States.
Update: Fashion show pictures from France are out. I think I was a bit harsh with the whole sun-visor thing.
Don't you?
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