OHHHH SWEET IT'S THE T-1000!!!

And to compound the wonderfulness? The Bay Area fox feed was a minute ahead of the LA fox feed.

Dual Live 3am Criticism of the Series Premiere of Fox's Reunion

You are now in chat room “AIMCanEatMe.” TioJ has entered the chat room. LMHB has entered the chat room. TioJ (8:59:09 PM): OK just made it TioJ (8:59:16 PM): Bedford, NY TioJ (8:59:20 PM): good thing i drove fast LMHB (8:59:22 PM): yeah LMHB (8:59:24 PM): you made it LMHB (8:59:30 PM): with seconds to spare TioJ (8:59:34 PM): fuck dude, vallejo to oakland in under half an hour? LMHB (8:59:41 PM): wow LMHB (8:59:54 PM): how did you do that? LMHB (9:00:06 PM): REUNION LMHB (9:00:16 PM): present day LMHB (9:00:18 PM): bedford, ny LMHB (9:00:21 PM): wait.. TioJ (9:00:24 PM): oh i'm a minute or so ahead of you LMHB (9:00:27 PM): i think i'm behind you TioJ (9:00:31 PM): 1986 LMHB (9:00:42 PM): six friends LMHB (9:00:57 PM): one brutally murdered TioJ (9:00:57 PM): ooh hi jenna and carla and to a certain degree samantha TioJ (9:01:16 PM): ooh boots LMHB (9:01:18 PM): i can't wait LMHB (9:01:20 PM): okay here we go LMHB (9:01:22 PM): 1986 LMHB (9:01:25 PM): i liked this song TioJ (9:01:25 PM): this is retarded LMHB (9:01:30 PM): oh nice haircuts LMHB (9:01:42 PM): i love the glasses TioJ (9:01:48 PM): a toast LMHB (9:01:52 PM): i wonder which one died LMHB (9:02:03 PM): so the narrator isn't one of the six lives LMHB (9:02:05 PM): madonna! LMHB (9:02:08 PM): papa don't preach LMHB (9:02:13 PM): oh nice dancing TioJ (9:02:18 PM): dude you're like an entire minute behind TioJ (9:02:25 PM): WTF is wrong w/fox? LMHB (9:02:26 PM): wait let me change the channel then TioJ (9:02:36 PM): what difference will that make? LMHB (9:02:39 PM): i have hd LMHB (9:02:41 PM): and non-hd TioJ (9:02:42 PM): just wiat for a commercial LMHB (9:02:44 PM): proposing a toast LMHB (9:02:48 PM): hm LMHB (9:02:50 PM): still the same i think LMHB (9:02:54 PM): looking at pregnancy thing LMHB (9:02:59 PM): "he's wondering where you are" LMHB (9:03:01 PM): am i still behind? TioJ (9:03:06 PM): yeah still a minute or so TioJ (9:03:07 PM): eh LMHB (9:03:10 PM): dammit TioJ (9:03:23 PM): maybe we should go old-school 3amC LMHB (9:03:24 PM): well this is going to be interesting LMHB (9:03:28 PM): old-school? LMHB (9:03:35 PM): you mean separately? TioJ (9:03:38 PM): no no TioJ (9:03:47 PM): where we don't really speak every second LMHB (9:03:53 PM): oh good call TioJ (9:03:53 PM): we can pick and choose LMHB (9:03:57 PM): otay TioJ (9:03:58 PM): maybe every few minutes TioJ (9:04:01 PM): OK TioJ (9:04:22 PM): OHHHH SWEET IT'S THE T-1000!!! LMHB (9:04:29 PM): what was that again? TioJ (9:04:43 PM): oops TioJ (9:04:48 PM): i shouldn't have laughed at that TioJ (9:04:50 PM): LOL LMHB (9:04:54 PM): it's cool TioJ (9:05:00 PM): just you wait LMHB (9:05:18 PM): wow these are smart kids LMHB (9:05:23 PM): full ride to hopkins LMHB (9:05:43 PM): i thought it was porsch-ah TioJ (9:05:52 PM): beats me LMHB (9:05:53 PM): oh fuck LMHB (9:05:56 PM): that was bad TioJ (9:06:01 PM): yeah and i laughed at it LMHB (9:06:22 PM): AHAHHAHA TioJ (9:06:38 PM): OK and this is rapidly turning stoopid LMHB (9:07:03 PM): wanna make a bet LMHB (9:07:08 PM): how long you'll be watching? ^_^ TioJ (9:07:10 PM): OK TioJ (9:07:12 PM): PLACE BETS NOW LMHB (9:07:45 PM): oh shit TioJ (9:08:29 PM): can't they just check the bruises and see who had the driver side belt? LMHB (9:08:38 PM): oh good call LMHB (9:08:39 PM): exactly LMHB (9:09:00 PM): i bet the guy knows LMHB (9:09:03 PM): or has suspicion LMHB (9:09:37 PM): i wonder if this girl is a tomboy TioJ (9:09:47 PM): nice pink shirt, homo LMHB (9:10:00 PM): she reminds me of jennifer garner LMHB (9:10:04 PM): but more moey LMHB (9:10:07 PM): homey TioJ (9:10:10 PM): yeah TioJ (9:10:14 PM): that chick is Chyler Leigh TioJ (9:10:18 PM): was in that 80s show LMHB (9:10:22 PM): oh i see TioJ (9:10:29 PM): the played some punk chick w/a mohawk LMHB (9:10:39 PM): ouch LMHB (9:10:43 PM): she just got rejected LMHB (9:10:45 PM): homo pink TioJ (9:11:04 PM): i'm gonan check the timestamp and see how much you trail TioJ (9:11:25 PM): shit, almost exactly one minute LMHB (9:11:30 PM): dammit LMHB (9:11:44 PM): oh he's the guy TioJ (9:11:53 PM): Wham! LMHB (9:11:56 PM): you're going to be a father! LMHB (9:11:57 PM): hahahah LMHB (9:11:59 PM): i laughed LMHB (9:12:06 PM): just desserts dude TioJ (9:12:07 PM): oh, i was kidding about the T-1000 LMHB (9:12:17 PM): you mean in t3? TioJ (9:13:01 PM): T-2 LMHB (9:13:06 PM): oh yeah LMHB (9:13:07 PM): t2 TioJ (9:13:08 PM): "have you seen this boy?" LMHB (9:13:43 PM): manslaughter LMHB (9:13:46 PM): shit TioJ (9:14:01 PM): mans-laughter LMHB (9:14:12 PM): i wonder who his dad is LMHB (9:14:13 PM): okay LMHB (9:14:16 PM): burger king commercial LMHB (9:14:28 PM): stop and eat the angus LMHB (9:15:32 PM): exorcism? LMHB (9:15:37 PM): emily rose TioJ (9:15:46 PM): that movie looks good LMHB (9:15:47 PM): ooh shakira LMHB (9:15:54 PM): shake it baby TioJ (9:15:56 PM): that commercial looked good too LMHB (9:16:11 PM): hey do you still have the shakira music video TioJ (9:16:15 PM): OK A or B: Shakira or Everett Eireann Rae? TioJ (9:16:17 PM): i still have it LMHB (9:16:34 PM): how about A+B? LMHB (9:16:37 PM): shakira rae TioJ (9:16:40 PM): that's another game TioJ (9:16:54 PM): whoa, so does he become a chick in 20 years? TioJ (9:16:58 PM): heh, you'll see LMHB (9:17:00 PM): HEHEHE LMHB (9:17:04 PM): does it go back to the present? LMHB (9:17:07 PM): still on commercial TioJ (9:17:11 PM): you'll see LMHB (9:17:12 PM): okay back to present LMHB (9:17:20 PM): who is that black guy LMHB (9:17:25 PM): probably an investigator LMHB (9:17:47 PM): OHH FUCK LMHB (9:17:49 PM): dammit LMHB (9:17:53 PM): maybe he's a homo TioJ (9:18:03 PM): see? what a stupid effect TioJ (9:18:38 PM): ooh hello "flat-chested friend" LMHB (9:18:50 PM): madonna wannabe chick going after a teacher? LMHB (9:18:56 PM): english LMHB (9:19:08 PM): i bet whoever reads this 3amC will be confused LMHB (9:19:13 PM): with the time differences LMHB (9:19:27 PM): so tomboy is in love with guy that walked away TioJ (9:19:33 PM): i guess so TioJ (9:19:35 PM): i like that chick LMHB (9:19:38 PM): yeah LMHB (9:19:52 PM): at least until thursday? LMHB (9:19:53 PM): SHIT LMHB (9:20:08 PM): yay for liberal thinking LMHB (9:20:11 PM): just get rid of it LMHB (9:20:17 PM): what a fucker TioJ (9:20:23 PM): yay for Choice! TioJ (9:21:24 PM): heh Haley's Comet LMHB (9:21:45 PM): this is getting a little interesting LMHB (9:22:03 PM): what a self-serving dad LMHB (9:22:23 PM): i remember seeing haley's comet LMHB (9:22:26 PM): when i was a kid LMHB (9:22:29 PM): i guess it was 1986 LMHB (9:22:30 PM): crazy LMHB (9:22:36 PM): it was even visible during the day TioJ (9:22:42 PM): i didn't even see it LMHB (9:22:49 PM): she lied to him LMHB (9:23:04 PM): "my somethin' LMHB (9:23:20 PM): why do best friends do crap like that TioJ (9:23:20 PM): ooh IPEX LMHB (9:23:23 PM): or "some" best friends TioJ (9:23:25 PM): you'll like that commercial LMHB (9:23:55 PM): oh it's that viggio guy LMHB (9:23:57 PM): aragorn LMHB (9:24:00 PM): viggo LMHB (9:24:10 PM): victoria's secret LMHB (9:24:13 PM): yummy LMHB (9:24:19 PM): i love High Definition LMHB (9:24:22 PM): i like ipex LMHB (9:24:24 PM): short commercial LMHB (9:24:39 PM): volkswagen TioJ (9:24:46 PM): oh wow TioJ (9:25:09 PM): Bethany's Whisper Victoria's Secret in HD? TioJ (9:25:16 PM): i'm getting somewhat of a boner now LMHB (9:25:29 PM): TJ has a semi! TioJ (9:25:48 PM): b0n0r TioJ (9:26:12 PM): lo01\1o12 LMHB (9:26:14 PM): juicy juice has 100% jax0r LMHB (9:26:29 PM): "my favorite song" LMHB (9:26:31 PM): this is cool LMHB (9:26:42 PM): oh gap LMHB (9:26:45 PM): how the hell would i have known LMHB (9:26:50 PM): i was thinking itunes music store LMHB (9:26:51 PM): shit LMHB (9:27:02 PM): chicks in bathrobes TioJ (9:27:24 PM): OK back TioJ (9:27:31 PM): oh yeah i like that gap commercial TioJ (9:27:34 PM): chicks in panties LMHB (9:27:38 PM): okay back LMHB (9:27:41 PM): present day TioJ (9:27:53 PM): chyler leigh is hot in grown up form LMHB (9:28:02 PM): yum yum LMHB (9:28:43 PM): wait is that the guy? LMHB (9:28:45 PM): necklace LMHB (9:28:46 PM): i'm confused LMHB (9:28:47 PM): shit TioJ (9:28:55 PM): yeah TioJ (9:29:04 PM): i don't think he realy became a chick LMHB (9:29:09 PM): ok TioJ (9:29:29 PM): ooh this chick is hot LMHB (9:30:06 PM): i really like this chick LMHB (9:30:07 PM): wow LMHB (9:30:16 PM): she's my new cute chick LMHB (9:30:20 PM): no more jennnifer garner LMHB (9:30:27 PM): now that she's pregnant with ben affleck's kid TioJ (9:30:32 PM): if you can, check her out in that 80s show LMHB (9:30:38 PM): yeah i wanna watch that now LMHB (9:30:56 PM): oh i get it love triangel LMHB (9:31:00 PM): triangle TioJ (9:31:29 PM): +12141V61_3 TioJ (9:31:38 PM): i'm sorry TioJ (9:31:46 PM): i promised no more leet-speek on the SHoP LMHB (9:31:49 PM): hahaha LMHB (9:32:03 PM): i don't like this girlfriend LMHB (9:32:08 PM): not sure about her yet actually TioJ (9:32:10 PM): no more leet-speek TioJ (9:32:42 PM): heh teacher LMHB (9:32:53 PM): damn LMHB (9:32:54 PM): MIT TioJ (9:33:10 PM): what's MIT? did i miss that? TioJ (9:33:15 PM): 18 grand a year... LMHB (9:33:16 PM): that aaron guy LMHB (9:33:26 PM): what an ass LMHB (9:33:42 PM): i hope aaron is the one that's murdered TioJ (9:33:48 PM): which one's that? TioJ (9:33:54 PM): i haven't been paying attention to the dudes LMHB (9:33:55 PM): the guy who likes the popular chick TioJ (9:33:59 PM): oh LMHB (9:35:28 PM): okay i just realized the acting on this really is crap LMHB (9:35:38 PM): and the musical backgrounds aren't helping TioJ (9:35:39 PM): yeah LMHB (9:35:45 PM): what teh hell was up with that outburst TioJ (9:35:49 PM): but i ilke the Chyler Leigh LMHB (9:35:52 PM): yeah me too!! LMHB (9:35:56 PM): chyler leigh LMHB (9:36:01 PM): how do you pronounce that? LMHB (9:36:10 PM): chai-lurr? LMHB (9:36:14 PM): or kai-lur TioJ (9:36:18 PM): yeah that's what i would've said TioJ (9:36:55 PM): uh oh TioJ (9:37:25 PM): uh oh TioJ (9:37:36 PM): commercial LMHB (9:37:50 PM): oh damn LMHB (9:38:07 PM): judge judy in the making LMHB (9:38:09 PM): commercial LMHB (9:38:39 PM): pulse TioJ (9:40:10 PM): responsibility is your anti drug LMHB (9:40:30 PM): maybe dad wanted to leave her because she was black LMHB (9:40:33 PM): oh fuck TioJ (9:40:33 PM): My anti-drug is Alcohol LMHB (9:40:36 PM): maybe you should strike that TioJ (9:40:43 PM): dude LMHB (9:40:47 PM): before SHoP TioJ (9:40:50 PM): nobody will read it anyway LMHB (9:40:51 PM): minitrue wouldn't approve TioJ (9:40:58 PM): fuck the Minitrue LMHB (9:41:04 PM): YAY itunes ROKR TioJ (9:41:05 PM): he won't read it LMHB (9:41:06 PM): bad phone LMHB (9:41:13 PM): i'm racist TioJ (9:41:36 PM): My anti-drug is pornography TioJ (9:41:37 PM): back LMHB (9:41:39 PM): house-SUPPERS LMHB (9:41:52 PM): boner suppers LMHB (9:42:02 PM): okay back LMHB (9:43:24 PM): so this is like his purgatory LMHB (9:43:31 PM): wonder if she'll keep the baby TioJ (9:43:33 PM): wow TioJ (9:43:33 PM): wonderful acting TioJ (9:43:39 PM): nice butt, stupid acting LMHB (9:43:42 PM): wait he thinks it's not going to happen TioJ (9:43:50 PM): ABORTION-SUPPERS!!! LMHB (9:43:50 PM): yeah acting like shit TioJ (9:43:55 PM): WHOOOWEEE! TioJ (9:44:12 PM): CAL ABORTION GREAT! TioJ (9:44:19 PM): OH TioJ (9:44:34 PM): stupid delay LMHB (9:44:47 PM): she didn't do it LMHB (9:44:48 PM): yay LMHB (9:45:02 PM): "maybe it's time for a new plan" TioJ (9:45:03 PM): ooh yeah TioJ (9:45:08 PM): konstant karla! TioJ (9:45:27 PM): Take On Me LMHB (9:45:32 PM): ouch LMHB (9:45:34 PM): youll never change LMHB (9:45:38 PM): that's a dagger through the heart LMHB (9:45:53 PM): oh nice LMHB (9:45:55 PM): take on me LMHB (9:46:01 PM): she's going to get rejected TioJ (9:46:04 PM): oh they're gonna hump LMHB (9:46:07 PM): oh great it's the blonde chick LMHB (9:46:40 PM): yeah seems like it LMHB (9:46:50 PM): konstant karla is going to walk in on them humping TioJ (9:46:51 PM): l-lu/\/\p-suppers LMHB (9:46:51 PM): right? LMHB (9:46:53 PM): i'm calling it LMHB (9:46:58 PM): before it happens on your side TioJ (9:47:06 PM): goddamit LMHB (9:47:13 PM): so freaking predictable TioJ (9:47:18 PM): sorry no more l33t-sp34k LMHB (9:47:24 PM): she's confessing and pouring out her heart to the guy LMHB (9:47:38 PM): HAHAHAHA TioJ (9:47:39 PM): uh oh LMHB (9:47:44 PM): she's kissing his hand TioJ (9:47:48 PM): oops LMHB (9:47:49 PM): oh no LMHB (9:47:55 PM): virgin TioJ (9:47:58 PM): the T-1000 WALKS BY AND TERMINATES THEM LMHB (9:48:10 PM): OH SHIT LMHB (9:48:11 PM): SHIT SHITHSIT HSTI LMHB (9:48:12 PM): noooo LMHB (9:48:15 PM): fuck LMHB (9:48:18 PM): she looks hot LMHB (9:48:20 PM): with her hair up too LMHB (9:48:29 PM): i hope she kills that guy LMHB (9:48:52 PM): she tells daddy TioJ (9:48:56 PM): she's hot in that jacket LMHB (9:48:57 PM): tries to laugh it off LMHB (9:49:01 PM): she's hot PERIOD TioJ (9:49:06 PM): ahh yes LMHB (9:49:12 PM): god she's so humpable right now TioJ (9:49:19 PM): they're gonna tie in the neckalce right now TioJ (9:49:21 PM): necklace LMHB (9:49:25 PM): yeah i'll bet huh LMHB (9:49:41 PM): man she's cute when she's whiny LMHB (9:49:50 PM): i wish i was her dad right now TioJ (9:49:52 PM): goddam shit! TioJ (9:49:57 PM): i wish i was that jacket right now LMHB (9:50:00 PM): AHAHHAAH TioJ (9:50:57 PM): hawt LMHB (9:50:59 PM): i think they could have done a better job of casting the dad LMHB (9:51:06 PM): not very convincing TioJ (9:51:31 PM): shit they could've cast the whole damn show better LMHB (9:51:38 PM): yeah LMHB (9:51:41 PM): the plot is interesting LMHB (9:51:44 PM): every ep is a year LMHB (9:51:46 PM): nice touch LMHB (9:51:48 PM): but the casting LMHB (9:51:49 PM): ugh LMHB (9:51:57 PM): he still doesn't know LMHB (9:52:02 PM): that she's still p;regnant LMHB (9:52:29 PM): ooh her change of plans is what?!? LMHB (9:52:33 PM): i love these 80s songs LMHB (9:53:06 PM): sam and karla london LMHB (9:53:07 PM): yesh LMHB (9:53:30 PM): yeah i can see jenna with an ipod LMHB (9:53:32 PM): hhehe TioJ (9:53:44 PM): necklace-suppers! LMHB (9:53:56 PM): an ipod nano LMHB (9:54:15 PM): they're not going to tell us who the dead friend is for a long time TioJ (9:54:17 PM): bang LMHB (9:55:00 PM): okay this was interesting TioJ (9:56:25 PM): hey cool movie trailer w/a deadly 3amC LMHB (9:57:21 PM): which one TioJ (9:57:30 PM): cry_wolf LMHB (9:57:35 PM): ah ok TioJ (9:58:20 PM): is there a Stay Chuned? TioJ (9:58:39 PM): i wonder if this show'll make it through all 20 episodes LMHB (9:58:45 PM): i think so LMHB (9:58:48 PM): isn't it contracted LMHB (9:58:51 PM): like 24?

and you kinda have gross hands too

Here ya go. Only a couple of days late, and look how short! This is closer to what the original 3am Criticisms (heh) originally resembled.

I did this a couple of days ago (06 September), but didn't get around to publishing it until now. The timestamps are intact, ya? enjoy

Jihad Jimmy
Commissioner, SHoP Department of Recreational Sport (Non-nude)

Live 3am Criticism of FX's It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia

You are now in chat room “AIMCanBiteMe.” TioJ has entered the chat room. TioJ (11:00:00 PM): hello dere TioJ (11:00:09 PM): completely forgot about IASiP TioJ (11:00:20 PM): my VCR kicked in TioJ (11:00:23 PM): and here we are TioJ (11:01:55 PM): and i think i can get the ac3 from this vob i found on my computer TioJ (11:02:12 PM): TV MA L TioJ (11:02:14 PM): no nudity? TioJ (11:02:28 PM): 10:25 AM TioJ (11:02:31 PM): On a Friday TioJ (11:02:34 PM): Philadelphia, PA TioJ (11:02:41 PM): Sweet Dee is a butterface TioJ (11:03:32 PM): It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia TioJ (11:03:44 PM): "The Gang Finds a Dead Guy" TioJ (11:04:48 PM): oh this is live, bTW TioJ (11:06:15 PM): heh. TioJ (11:06:26 PM): Sweet Dee said, "old people are gross" TioJ (11:07:18 PM): OK new chick not, sweet dee not TioJ (11:10:39 PM): well Sweet Dee, we think you're old and gorss TioJ (11:10:45 PM): and you kinda have gross hands too TioJ (11:11:16 PM): ooh another shitty storyline TioJ (11:15:34 PM): too bad they blew their wad in the Stay Chuned TioJ (11:15:41 PM): and this storyline is already old TioJ (11:19:35 PM): maybe if you weren't old and janky... TioJ (11:20:12 PM): holy shit charlie found something TioJ (11:20:19 PM): oh. i wonder what it was TioJ (11:21:27 PM): i like mac the least TioJ (11:28:52 PM): wow that was an amazingly shitty ending TioJ (11:29:03 PM): no real resolution w/anything TioJ (11:30:21 PM): Next Tuesday TioJ (11:30:40 PM): season finale of IASiP TioJ (11:31:02 PM): he saved the hat TioJ has left the chat room.

GIANTS MAGIC NUMBER: 31

Good afternoon Baseball fans!

The San Francisco Giants (2nd in NL West, 63-75) host Dusty Baker and the Chicago Cubs (4th in NL Central, 68-71) for the opener of a four-game series at Pac Bell SBC Park. The Giants have won 7 of their last 10 and as such are (relatively) on fire! At 12 games under .500, they are a mere 6 back of San Diego with 24 to play.

Yes. Magic Number of 31 with 24 to play. I won't go into the mathematics of the Magic Number as smithanticunts are wandering over to the SHoP and I wouldn't want to unnecessarily confuse any of them or their wife-cunts.

Let's just leave you with N_m = 163 - W₁ - L₂.

Figure it out, Citizen SHoPper! And if you wanna do the Magic Number for teams not in first place, just realize that if that number is more than twice the remaining games, you can no longer rely on real numbers to clinch a playoff berth. And I don't think Commissioner Bud is too keen on imaginary numbers.

Jihad Jimmy
Commissioner, SHoP Department of Recreational Sport (Non-nude)

You sexy mother-effer

Holy shit.

I was surprised when my iPod Shuffle was no bigger than a cigarette lighter. A disposable lighter, not a Zippo. But check out the Nano, which is no thicker than a pencil yet has a color screen?

And in typical Apple fashion, it comes in white or black. Updates to follow below.

Apple to the Core,
Jihad Jimmy, Minister of War Crimes and Chief Defender of the Faith

Dance Card is Full tonight...

Was gonna go to the Mariners-A's game tonight at the Coliseum... got dinner and went home instead. Here's why...

7pm, KTVU - Giants @ Dodgers
7pm, KICU - Mariners @ A's
9pm, KBWB - the Gilmore Girls season finale i missed last May
11pm, FX - It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia

mmm... baseball. first pitch to Ichiro is a strike...

Jihad Jimmy, Minister of War Crimes and Chief Defender of the Faith

Double Standards?

Gotta love Yahoo! News...

Compare these two captions below regarding how bread is taken, seemingly based on the individual(s) race:





This is only one example of how the media can twist things. So was this an honest mistake, or blatant racism?

wow I'm a republican bay arean and even I know what vegan is

I hate to break this to you but last week's OVER * THERE is already gonna be over a week late, as the next rebroadcast of last week's episode (which I didn't tape last week) will air after this week's episode. And that means that this week's OVER * THERE will also be late. But I'll try my damndest to get IASiP and Starved out on time.

Although since i'm going to the Mariners game tonight, IASiP is looking kinda bleak too...

Jimmy

Starved. FX. Billie is freaking HAWT

You are now in chat room “chat31912178070922693167.” TioJ has entered the chat room. TioJ (10:47:07 PM): hello dere TioJ (10:47:31 PM): finally getting around to watching last Thursday's Starved TioJ (10:47:42 PM): oh, and i still owe you a OVER * THERE TioJ (10:47:52 PM): but here's the 3am Criticism of last week's Starved TioJ (10:48:39 PM): phone sex porn TioJ (10:48:51 PM): LOL TioJ (10:48:56 PM): lotion on his balls TioJ (10:49:35 PM): jax0ring to sportsbook TioJ (10:51:09 PM): this is kinda fake... TioJ (10:52:02 PM): would you go out to coffee w/some dude who was trying to cyber w/a 6'-1" japanese whore TioJ (10:52:38 PM): IT'S NOT OK TioJ (10:53:00 PM): commercial and back TioJ (10:53:14 PM): Dan TioJ (10:53:55 PM): Adam, bulemic TioJ (10:54:15 PM): sam, anorexic TioJ (10:54:18 PM): compulsive overeater TioJ (10:55:19 PM): billie... hotchick TioJ (10:55:21 PM): ooh yeah TioJ (10:56:35 PM): i'd like a chili dog TioJ (10:57:35 PM): patchouli-chicks TioJ (10:57:47 PM): yay for yoga TioJ (10:59:01 PM): ooh billie-boobs TioJ (11:00:48 PM): "thank you, I love you" TioJ (11:01:24 PM): this is kinda sucking TioJ (11:02:00 PM): ooh hot billie and hot cancer-chick TioJ (11:02:06 PM): "i would love to lick you up and down any day" TioJ (11:02:07 PM): whoa TioJ (11:03:36 PM): asian cop got mad TioJ (11:04:06 PM): creepy sam and yoga chick... TioJ (11:05:03 PM): wow I'm a republican bay arean and even I know what vegan is TioJ (11:07:27 PM): well duh the cop is gay TioJ (11:08:31 PM): ooh she's cute TioJ (11:10:06 PM): mr. burly bear TioJ (11:10:16 PM): LOL TioJ (11:10:45 PM): OK the gay cop is funny TioJ (11:11:04 PM): was he really gay? TioJ (11:12:37 PM): ooh is billie gonna hve the cute cancer chick? TioJ (11:13:29 PM): oh, adam was suspended TioJ (11:13:59 PM): stay chuned for the scenes from an all new starved TioJ (11:15:01 PM): Next Thursday on Starved TioJ (11:15:27 PM): OK TioJ (11:15:36 PM): see you soon TioJ has left the chat room.

and Sweet Dee is ugly

yet another false start on the doubleheader. stupid hunger.

Jihad Jimmy, Minister of War Crimes and Chief Defender of the Faith

ps- you'll be pleased to know that I'm trying to get back to the sparser commentary that was in the original 3am Criticisms. on berkeleysucks.com, but you knew that already...

quite possibly one of the last 3am Criticisms of It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia from wonderful FX

You are now in chat room “AIMIsJustAlrightWithMe.” JihadJimmyMWCCDF has entered the chat room. JihadJimmyMWCCDF (6:22:38 PM): hello dere JihadJimmyMWCCDF (6:22:44 PM): TVMALV JihadJimmyMWCCDF (6:22:55 PM): OK now it's time for IASiP JihadJimmyMWCCDF (6:23:00 PM): from last week JihadJimmyMWCCDF (6:23:14 PM): already missed it JihadJimmyMWCCDF (6:23:17 PM): 11:25 am JihadJimmyMWCCDF (6:23:19 PM): On a Friday JihadJimmyMWCCDF (6:23:25 PM): Philadelphia, PA JihadJimmyMWCCDF (6:24:05 PM): a B&E JihadJimmyMWCCDF (6:24:28 PM): somebody stole the safe JihadJimmyMWCCDF (6:24:32 PM): and Sweet Dee is ugly JihadJimmyMWCCDF (6:24:40 PM): It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia JihadJimmyMWCCDF (6:24:47 PM): "Gun Fever" JihadJimmyMWCCDF (6:25:04 PM): commercial JihadJimmyMWCCDF (6:26:06 PM): missed a cool captain morgan commercial JihadJimmyMWCCDF (6:26:06 PM): back JihadJimmyMWCCDF (6:27:39 PM): is that the dude from Smallville? JihadJimmyMWCCDF (6:27:47 PM): and since i accidentally saw the ending... JihadJimmyMWCCDF (6:28:42 PM): ohh, he's dated lots of bartenders, huh JihadJimmyMWCCDF (6:30:01 PM): i imagine that could've been funny JihadJimmyMWCCDF (6:30:08 PM): had it not been IASiP JihadJimmyMWCCDF (6:31:11 PM): not funny JihadJimmyMWCCDF (6:31:16 PM): quickly taking a shit JihadJimmyMWCCDF (6:31:36 PM): heh charlie's shirt says "I Love the Philippines" JihadJimmyMWCCDF (6:32:42 PM): Ugg-lee JihadJimmyMWCCDF (6:34:18 PM): commercial and back JihadJimmyMWCCDF (6:35:54 PM): wow this is shitty JihadJimmyMWCCDF (6:36:42 PM): yeah like the Hardy Boys, only fucking retards JihadJimmyMWCCDF (6:42:50 PM): umm, yeah it's charlie JihadJimmyMWCCDF (6:43:14 PM): maybe they're dead JihadJimmyMWCCDF (6:44:08 PM): yeah STFU JihadJimmyMWCCDF (6:47:05 PM): heh nazi uniform JihadJimmyMWCCDF (6:48:02 PM): OK JihadJimmyMWCCDF (6:48:08 PM): time for last night's Starved JihadJimmyMWCCDF (6:48:10 PM): JihadJimmyMWCCDF (6:49:10 PM): v-chip blah blah JihadJimmyMWCCDF (6:49:14 PM): ooh TV MA LS! JihadJimmyMWCCDF (6:49:33 PM): Previously on Starved JihadJimmyMWCCDF (6:50:01 PM): rewinding JihadJimmyMWCCDF (6:50:07 PM): missed the recaps JihadJimmyMWCCDF (6:52:23 PM): Ok gonna hold off on Starved JihadJimmyMWCCDF (6:52:26 PM): going out to dinner JihadJimmyMWCCDF has left the chat room.

and doublewide's husband is Romolo from Kingpin

Is this two weeks late now? I've lost track.

Jihad Jimmy, Minister of War Crimes and Chief Defender of the Faith

3am criticism of OVER * THERE, whatever number episode. i forget

You are now in chat room “AIMKindaBlows.” TioJ has entered the chat room. TioJ (8:14:01 PM): hello dere TioJ (8:14:13 PM): watching the pilot of Joey TioJ (8:14:23 PM): Drea di Matteo is HAWT TioJ (8:14:57 PM): but it's time for last week's episode of OVER * THERE TioJ (8:15:08 PM): i'm very late TioJ (8:16:54 PM): ooh yeah drea di matteo TioJ (8:18:15 PM): TV MA LV TioJ (8:18:22 PM): hmm, no Mrs. B nudity? TioJ (8:20:10 PM): "it's killin' time" TioJ (8:20:50 PM): "nigga wit a trigger" TioJ (8:21:21 PM): ooh nicki aycox TioJ (8:23:11 PM): commercial TioJ (8:23:55 PM): fastforwarded TioJ (8:24:27 PM): they conveniently have cover TioJ (8:25:49 PM): stupid embedded reporters TioJ (8:26:30 PM): oh STFU dim TioJ (8:28:11 PM): yeah hot army nurse TioJ (8:31:12 PM): I think i should be embedded with Mrs. B TioJ (8:32:53 PM): oh shit TioJ (8:33:16 PM): terrorists TioJ (8:33:31 PM): FUCK YOU TERRORISTS TioJ (8:33:36 PM): i mean TERRORIST TioJ (8:33:43 PM): FUCK YOU TERRORIST TioJ (8:33:57 PM): FUCK YOU TERRORIST TioJ (8:34:14 PM): YEAH FUCK YOU TERRORIST KID TioJ (8:34:23 PM): and TERRORIST MOM TioJ (8:34:45 PM): or was it the TERRORIST who fired on them? TioJ (8:34:48 PM): commercial TioJ (8:35:28 PM): back TioJ (8:37:48 PM): TERRORISTS with cameras TioJ (8:37:51 PM): yeah whatever dude TioJ (8:39:46 PM): should just fucking bomb the fucking desert till we have just enough to bomb north korea TioJ (8:39:50 PM): and then bomb north korea TioJ (8:40:11 PM): and doublewide's husband is Romolo from Kingpin TioJ (8:40:19 PM): (was watching kingpin the past few nights) TioJ (8:41:32 PM): heh and it made the news TioJ (8:41:33 PM): commercial TioJ (8:42:31 PM): back TioJ (8:42:39 PM): i fucking hate TERRORISTS and the media TioJ (8:42:42 PM): goddam pricks TioJ (8:42:45 PM): all of them TioJ (8:44:17 PM): yay for Dim TioJ (8:45:21 PM): ooh slut kleavage TioJ (8:45:33 PM): damn that's a lot of kleavage TioJ (8:45:59 PM): and nice job w/the skank, cornell-dude TioJ (8:54:07 PM): holy shit, is that zack morris? TioJ (8:56:22 PM): they're gonna kill zack morris now TioJ (8:56:28 PM): fuckin' terrorists TioJ (8:56:38 PM): commercial TioJ (8:57:32 PM): back TioJ (8:58:10 PM): if anything they should kill zack morris for being on Saved by the Bell TioJ (8:59:27 PM): this kids kind of a tard TioJ (8:59:31 PM): i like the whale though TioJ (9:00:38 PM): aww yeah she works for TSA TioJ (9:01:22 PM): ooh yeah Mrs. B TioJ (9:01:29 PM): mmm TioJ (9:02:30 PM): oh yay stupid theme song! TioJ (9:05:31 PM): OVER * THERE TioJ (9:05:46 PM): stay chuned for scenes from the all new OVER * THERE TioJ (9:05:51 PM): which atually aired last night TioJ (9:06:03 PM): but i didn't tape it TioJ (9:07:18 PM): something about a bounty for Smoke TioJ (9:07:34 PM): OK i'll tape that this weekend TioJ (9:07:48 PM): TioJ (9:08:03 PM): and here's last tuesday's It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia TioJ (9:18:35 PM): OK hold on tot hat, i'm getting dinner TioJ (11:09:41 PM): OK, back from dinner, but it's too late now TioJ has left the chat room.

Sanctity of Marriage!

Before the A's game, at the Coliseum BART station...

Click to enlarge in new window

More pics to follow soon, but for starters, here's what one enterprising engineer can do with a veil, some masking tape from his neighbor, and a white, unmarked hard hat from a vendor... feel free to use this for bachelor parties, Citizen SHoPpers

the courtesy of a URL on the Bride-chelor Hard Veil would be appreciated...

and yes, he did wear a Giants t-shirt to the coliseum for the A's-Yankees game. We're Giants fans, but they were out of town this last weekend =(

Jihad Jimmy, Minister of War Crimes and Chief Defender of the Faith

I am one with my brothers.

Looks like the two-bit freaks from shitantics don't know me very well.

I don't think a racist would spend his Sunday morning with the church crowd at Roscoe's House of Chicken 'n Waffles in West LA.

OH YEAH! SPEECHLESS, AREN'T WE?!?

I guess we are too quick to call people racists when we are liberals, now, aren't we.

And will someone please inform this gutless wonder of my background. Yup. We all know that liberals take the time to do research for their "theories".

Fished in.

And if you tilt your screen just right, you can see our hearts turning blacker and blacker...

This summary is not available. Please click here to view the post.

Golden Bear Woes

In a game which won't even be counted in our record since it was against 1-AA Sacramento State...

Cal QB Longshore suffers broken leg

This should be an interesting season. Incidentally, I have a $10 bet at the Wynn on California to win the 2006 BCS Title. At 60 to 1, my ticket will pay $610 come January. Provided that our QBs can do things like complete passes. Don't let the score fool you, as our backup QBs contributed one passing TD after Longshore was broken. The other TDs were rushing and punt return.

Box Score: Cal 41, Sac State 3

Gonna be a long season...

STFU and stop complaining

Boo fucking hoo. So evil, evil Bush wants to appoint somebody you think is too conservative? BFD. He'll defect to your dumbfuck side anyway. Show some patience and please find something new and original to bother us about. Think John Nash in A Beautiful Mind.

The Souter Factor - What makes tough conservative justices go soft?

On a related note, why don't we as conservatives get pissed at this phenomenon? I know I'm not the first of us to notice this...

Jihad Jimmy, Minister of War Crimes and Chief Defender of the Faith

Where can I find a bachelorette veil this morning?

Bachelor party today for a friend from high school. Here's the e-mail trail from the Best Man (good friend, went to stanfurd)

Allow me to further address these items in sequence

Hey guys, Since I haven't met many of you, let me start by introducing myself as Kiemanh's high school cohort and best man. The latter means I'm supposed to organize this bachelor party and the former means I'm supposedly qualified to do it. But, as I'm new to this, I hope you'll forgive the inexperience. As I learned while trying to cozen some prelimary details from him, Kiemanh has already done the hard part of my job (although, this should come as no surprise to any of us). Namely, he has: 1). Provided me with a preliminary list of invitees (i.e y'all) 2). Selected the date and place: Saturday, September 3, 2005 in the Bay Area 3). Proffered some suggested activities 4). Admonished me to "keep it clean" Allow me to further address these items in sequence: 1). While it was clearly an excellent starting point, and while I obviously look forward to meeting everyone, please don't take it personally when I suggest that, in addition to this ensemble, there may be a few others in the area whom K has overlooked. So, if you know of anyone else who should be invited (which is to say, copied on future emails) please let me know. Thanks! 2). Although it is Labor Day weekend, K informed me that most of you will be available. I would really like to maxmize the attendance, so please let me know as soon as possible if you cannot make it (I presume the festivities will consume most of the afternon and evening, but will not involve an overnight). Unfortunately, with the wedding about a month away (yikes!) and Kiemanh's inflexible work schedule, the date is pretty much fixed (unless Tuananh and I only one who can make it, of course!). But, we can try to organize the day so as to optimize participation. 3). With all deference to Kiemanh's creative powers, I was hoping it would be a bit more of a surprise than simply taking one of his suggestions. So, despite the fact that he didn't mention any of these, I was envisioning a day involving some subset of the following: major or minor league baseball, paintball, gourmet dinner, bars/pubs. But, I am certainly open to suggestions and would welcome some constructive criticism. 4). Those who know me realize this will not be a problem, but if you have any objections (where by 'you' I mean 'Jimmy J'), please let me know ;) While I am still fleshing out the timing and the location, it is likely that the former will span early afternoon to (very?) late evening and that the greater Bay Area (from S.F. to South Bay) will be our playground. Obviously, you are welcome to attend any or all of the fun. So, here's the summary (aka the part where I ask for your help): Please drop me a line and let me know-- * If you can attend for any or all of the BP on 9/3 * If you know of anyone else who should be invited * If you have any feedback or suggestions on activities * If you have any physical, dietary, or other constraints I hope that as many of you as possible will be able to attend this guys-night-out in Kiemanh's honor. Thanks, Ben

Well. If that isn't a fine How-do-ya-do. At this point I felt it necessary to instill the Fear of God into these fine, upstanding men, some of whom I have never met before.

plausibly deniable PG-13 hijinks
Ben, I have no idea what you're talking about. And i don't subscribe to the mutual exclusivity of a) leather-clad dominatrices armed with riding crops, date rape drugs, and tattoo needles, and b) some good clean, respectable, yet plausibly deniable PG-13 hijinks. jimmy

That might scare the crap out of you. Or get you really excited...

I'm with Jimmy
Ben, Count me in for the activities of 9/3 whatever they my be. But for the record, I'm with Jimmy on this one: "i don't subscribe to the mutual exclusivity of a) leather-clad dominatrices armed with riding crops, date rape drugs, and tattoo needles, and b) some good clean, respectable, yet plausibly deniable PG-13 hijinks." -Peter

See? Making friends already! Nice to see that it's the simple things in life like dominatrices that we as men need. We don't need Tupperware Parties and Jewelry and well i'm drawing a blank. Use your creativity, Citizen SHoPper...

a few scares regarding Kiemanh's work schedule

Hey BP Posse, I realize it's been a while since my last communication, but have no fear- I have been slaving away on plans for the big bay-area-wide bachelor party. There were a few scares regarding Kiemanh's work schedule and such, but those seem to be resolved at last. If you are receiving this message, I am either assuming that you can come or have received explicit confirmation to that effect (if I am in error, please let me know ASAP!). At present, the schedule for this Saturday, September 3 is: 11:30a: Meet at P. residence, consolidate cars, pick up Tuananh. (1---5 ------- ---- Road, Los -----; park on street). 12:00p: Pick-up Kiemanh from Santa Clara Valley Med. 1:05p: Attend Oakland A's vs New York Yankees game. Plaza level seats on 1st base side. ~4:05p: Depart Collesium. ~5:00p: Dine at Henry's Hi-Life BBQ in SJ. ~7:00p: Allow those under 13 (and anyone else) to depart. Rest of party piles into minimum number of vehicles. ~8:00p: Shoot pool, have drinks, and watch Giants game at Score's Legendary Sports Bar in San Mateo. 10:00p: Head to Tonga Room in SF for drinks. ??????: Go home. Sleep. If this sounds like a lot, I think that's because it is. But, Kiemanh deserves it, don't you think? Of course, such revelery doesn't come cheap (plus, according to bachelor party tradition, we have to cover his share). I have tried to do the best I can, but I realize the following cost structure may still present a hardship for some people: Estimate of per person cost (APPROX.!) -------------------------------------- Baseball tickets: $26 Baseball food/drinks: $15 Dinner: $34 Pool: $5 Drinks: $?? Sending K off right priceless! ------- --- Total: $80+ As you can see, with all the activities and the *8/7 factor for treating Kiemanh, it will be pricey. But, I tried to be conservative on estimates for the activities I could control (aka everything except how much you drink). In any case, please let me know if you have an pecuniary prohibitions and we can work to alleviate them. If it would be more convenient for you to meet up with the group somewhere other than Los Gatos in the morning, or if you have limited access to transportation, please let me know. Also, it would be great if one other person could volunteer to drive (just to the game and back- from there I've got it covered). Since we will be going from a baseball game in the afternoon to bars in the evening, I suspect you'll want to change clothes at some point during this adventure. In particular, you may want to bring something a little nicer and/or a lot warmer than baseball gear for the nocturnal portion. I am looking forward to seeing and/or meeting everyone this weekend and drop me a line if you have any other suggestions/questions. Thanks, Ben P.S. For the sake of suspense, Kiemanh doesn't know what we're doing yet (unless someone has already let it slip!).

Rather than drive down to San Jose, I was gonna meet them in Oakland at the Coliseum... Unless...

I've said too much already

Some quick questions for you: 1) Do we need to hog-tie Kiemanh @ the hospital and kidnap him? If this is the case, we should seriously consider developing a Rainbow-Six-Splinter-Cell-True-Lies-style infiltration/prisoner extraction plan. Or a blue van and some Metallica like in "Old School". Either way, let me know if you need me to steal my dad's Santa Clara Valley Med. Center i.d. 2) Did you want to sneak a below-legal-drinking-age brother to any places-of-ill-repute? Don't ask how, but, umm... well crap. I've said too much already. 3) Can we make him wear a veil and a garter? Or as an addendum to #1 above, veil and/or black cloth Abu Graihb-tastic black hood? Plastic zip-ties, now that I think about it. Commemorative ski masks for ourselves, perhaps? Plausibly Deniably Yours, Jimmy

No response as of post time (heh, post time! Bay Meadows opens this weekend!)

I'm gonna shower up and try to find a veil. Wish me luck. Ooh, and Bay Area SHoPpers, come to the Tonga Room tonight! Look for a Vietnamese dude wearing a white veil.

all my love,
Jihad Jimmy, Minister of War Crimes and Chief Defender of the Faith

Insomnia strikes again!

I hate it when I'm in bed and my mind is racing with so many things that I simply can't make myself fall asleep. Perhaps it's because of the (lack of) dinner I had last night. Or that I slept for eleven hours the night before (because of a lack of sleep this past week). Whatever the case, I'm SHoPping now.

Speaking of insomnia striking, I found this interesting news tidbit:

Boeing strike rooted in post-9/11 talks

I was a former Boeing employee and while I wasn't part of the union that is currently on strike, I was a member of its smaller sister union and it seems that unions like to stick together. I wasn't exactly forced to join the union, but at the time of my hiring, it was strongly suggested to me that I do so. So, being the green engineer and my proclivity to try and fit in, I did so. Well, my union never struck while I was an employee but the IAM nearly did so in 2002 after 9/11. I suppose they didn't go on strike at the time because the economy was bad and machinists feared the future without work. Now, three years later, with aerospace in the pacific northwest finally rebounding (with the advent of 787 work), the IAM found good reason to reject Boeing's latest contract offer.

Oh well... I'm a lot more disconnected, now that I'm in SoCal. I do miss the Puget Sound dearly, though. Good memories, as I'm sure Tio Jaime will attest to. I'll finally be going back to visit next month for a family wedding. That would made it over 2.5 years since I left after my layoff. I'm sure that when I get there, I'll be greeted with the usual Seattle rain. And I'm sure that I won't mind it at all, not one bit.

Activist Judges are Alive and Well in San Diego

If this doesn't spell it out for you, I don't know what does.

Do you all know the story of the Mt. Soledad Cross? The fight to save it? The fact that over 3/4 of the population of San Diego wants it saved?

Judge Patricia Yim Cowett doesn't.

This sorry excuse for a superior court judge has done more to promote judicial legislation than anything I've ever seen. And I'm SUPREMELY PISSED because I'm one of the voters here. Let's go through this, shall we?

July 21, 2005 -- Just FIVE DAYS BEFORE THE SPECIAL ELECTION where the Mt. Soledad issue was on the ballot, Judge COWett decided it would be awfully tactful to make it more difficult for the measure to pass. Pretty damn convenient, wouldn't you say?

SAN DIEGO – Proposition A, which would allow the city of San Diego to donate the site containing the Mount Soledad cross to the federal government, will require a two-thirds vote on Tuesday's ballot, a judge ruled Thursday.

Superior Court Judge Patricia Yim Cowett agreed with attorney James McElroy that a two-thirds-vote was needed without a guarantee from the federal government that it wouldn't change the use of the city park land in the future.

Cowett reserved judgment on whether the city or the Mount Soledad Memorial Association actually owns the land surrounding the cross.

"The city does not have the authority to transfer to the federal government what it does not own," McElroy argued.

The judge said the constitutionality of the transfer of the land will remain an issue should Proposition A pass by the required margin.

McElroy said the future of the cross' stay on Mount Soledad could be nearing an end.

"I think it's pretty much over," the attorney told reporters outside the courtroom.

But Phil Thalheimer, chairman of San Diegans for the Mount Soledad National War Memorial, said he was "not very disappointed" in the judge's ruling and expects Prop A to pass next week.

I bet Phil is pretty damn pissed off right now. Prop A passed OVERWHELMINGLY--76% passage. But guess what! San Diego voters are ignored...

She ruled that "the transfer is again an unconstitutional preference of the Christian religion to the exclusion of other religions and non-religious beliefs," in violation of the state constitution.

Cowett also ruled that the city's attempt to transfer the land to the federal government without compensation "for the purpose of saving the cross is also an unconstitutional aid to the Christian religion."

The judge found that memorial has predominantly "a religious purpose," and noted that secular war memorial events and adornments at the site were added only after legal challenges were threatened or initiated.

"To maintain the memorial, as it is presently, would demonstrate the government's lack of neutrality as to religion, shows a preference for one religion to the exclusion of other religions and non-religious beliefs, and aids one religion," she wrote. "To so rule does not attempt to, nor does it actually, demonstrate hostility to religion."

It's the latest twist in the long legal saga involving the 29-foot cross, which sits on city-owned land.

James McElroy, the attorney for Philip Paulson, the atheist who sued more than a decade ago to have the cross removed, said the judge ruled in his client's favor on the three key issues: two potential breaches of the state constitution and one of the federal constitution.

"I certainly expected this result," he said. "The law demanded this result."

City Attorney Michael Aguirre and several council members had warned before the vote that Proposition A would not stand up to a legal challenge.

"She's decided pretty definitively and unless she changes her mind the issue is closed on this matter," Aguirre said of the ruling Friday. "This issue has lasted longer than any war we fought. It takes a very courageous judge to look 75 percent of the population in the face and say, `I'm sorry but this isn't constitutional.'‚"

Talk about frustration. I bet the bitch is courageous. She didn't even run against anybody when she was "elected". That's right. 100% of the vote for her. This is a travesty of monumental proportions...no pun intended. And what type of low-life has no other useful purpose in life over the past decade but to fight to get a cross off of city land. Will somebody kill this guy or foreclose on his house, or something?

FLAG THIS BLOG

Everyone flag this blog for objectionable content. Let's get this turdburger off the blogosphere.

I'm tired of seeing this bastard with his racist comments he thinks he can get away with because he's a filthy liberal.

Click on the link, then click the button on the top right-hand side of the page.

yay for ornery New Orleaner cusses!

How wonderful the federal government. You can shit on them even while they're helping you, and really their only recourse is to STFU and take it.

excerpt from New Orleans in chaos, rescue plan under fire, emphasis mine

Also, the U.S. House of Representatives gave final passage to a $10.5 billion emergency-aid bill that Bush was expected to sign later in the day. But thousands of people are feared dead and New Orleans Mayor Ray Nagin said he was furious at the lack of help his historic city had received. "I need reinforcements. I need troops, man. I need 500 buses, man," he said in a radio interview. "Now get off your asses and fix this. Let's do something and let's fix the biggest goddamn crisis in the history of this country."

Up yours, Mayor Ray. WTF, did you think President Bush was just goofing off in Crawford playing Madden 2006 with his daughters? Here are a couple of sayings I picked up in high school from Mr. Benson's sophomore english class...

Proper Prior Planning Prevents Piss-Poor Performance.

Really, you all fucking knew about it. You all fucking knew a big damn hurricane was coming. In California, we all talk about The Big One. And for the first time today, I saw those three words used in reference to the hypothetical scenario in which a big damn hurricane would come and breach your levees. At least you have the luxury of radar and an entire season named after the natural disaster.

you see where this one is going, Mayor Ray? here's another for you to chew on...

A lack of planning on your part does not necessarily constitute an emergency on my part.

Except if you refer back to what i initially said about shitting on the federal government, this does constitute an emergency. And they're supplementing your weak-assed response capabilities-- no, with $10.6 billion, they're replacing your weak-assed response capabilities-- as best as the hulking behemoth that is federal government can.

And "the biggest goddamn crisis in the history of this country" is it now? Now calm down, don't fucking go into conniptions or anything. We know you're mad, but please, STFU already. You're just pissed that this whole situation took a shit on what could've been your shining moment.

Please don't misunderstand, Compassionate SHoPper. We don't hate New Orleaners. We don't have hard-ons for death and destruction. I just have a problem with a lowly civil servant-- whose life doubtless has been devoted to extending the all-pervasive arm of lovely, inefficient government-- inaccurately griping about how we don't give enough of a fuck. Sure I give a fuck. A flying one, at that. I'm not even complaining that my share of the $10.6 billion aid is going towards ingrateful cheesedicks.

I pray for all the dead and missing and blah blah blah. All that good stuff. I don't want to oversaturate the blogosphere with sympathy from California of all places. We all think it, and it's all been blogged within the past few days. Let me do what I do best-- snipe one or two quotes I read in yahoo! news and have brain-diarrhea here on the SHoP. Hopefully to your amusement and enjoyment.

Jihad Jimmy, Minister of War Crimes and Chief Defender of the Faith

ps- When a 8+ hits the bay area on the Hayward Fault and I'm trapped in lovely Oakland with nothing to arm myself w/except for my golf clubs, by all means withhold sympathy if that's what you genuinely interpret me as doing in this current situation

[update date="20050902" time="1427"]
Found another ornery cuss. See if you can predict the typical Tio Jaime reaction...

excerpt from Health crisis grips New Orleans even as help lands
"Why don't they take care of us?" she said, sitting with two grandchildren and a grandniece in front of the convention center. "They just got out to us yesterday. They dropped things to us out of a helicopter like we were animals"

Oh, I dunno. Maybe because you're shooting at them?
[/update]

This is what social welfare does to a society.

For statistics on New Orleans demographics.

"We don't have help!"

That's the cry you get from the people currently in New Orleans. People who don't heed instructions in the first place. People with little motivation to get out of a destroyed city on their own. People who have grown up with the expectation of a government hand-out.

Why does New Orleans look like a third world country? Snipers firing at rescue workers? Riots? Rapes? Violence? Roving gangs? It can be attributed to social welfare. New Orleans is 57% white. Yet, who are the ones that are left? I really don't blame them. How easy is it to be motivated when a check comes in the mail from the government? That is the problem. No motivation to get out of a bad situation their entire lives.

How many times must I ask this question? Whatever happened to personal responsibility? We're in earthquake country here in California. How many families take it on their own to have their own emergency kit? And we don't even know when an Earthquake will strike. Conversely, the gulf coast has plenty of warning prior to a Hurricane, and the weather forecasters were preparing for the worst with Katrina. Yet every socialist keeps pointing the finger of blame at the government for not funding enough money to reinforce the levees, for giving tax cuts, for fighting the war in Iraq, etc.

This is not the picture of a proud people. Such a sad commentary during a horrible situation...but there's a solution, and it's a Savage one:

1. No African aid ($15 Billion).

2. No illegal aliens aid – medical & education ($15-30 Billion).

3. Mine low sulfur coal.

4. House displaced people in army bases scheduled for closure.

5. Price controls on gasoline for 90 days.

Bigger fish to fry, eh Leftists?

Screw wacky Iraqi religious zealotry. We got female soldiers giving lapdances to terrorists.

Good thing you Leftist Hippie Bastard Humps have your priorities straight and all. We wouldn't want to do anything demeaning or degrading like win a War or something like that.

Seriously, all pictures of Tio Jaime committing war crimes on himself in Las Vegas aside, where's the indignation? Where's the uproar? Almost a thousand dead iraqis, and not a peep from Cindy Sheehan who very recently became a good friend of Arabs if only because it makes here all the more effective an enemy of Israel? You laugh now at crazed Vacaville loonies, but just you wait.

Here, some P.J. O'Rourke to rattle your cage a bit...

Excerpt from P.J. O'Rourke's Peace Kills, pg. 140

And I don't blame most nations for not supporting the United States. The world is full of loathesome governments run by criminals, thugs, and beasts. When President Bush mentioned "regime change," hairy little ears pricked up all over the earth. Beads of sweat broke out on low, sloping brows. Bloodstained, grasping hands began to tremble. Poor Colin Powell had to get on the phone to various hyenas in high office and explain to them that America itself was in need of regime change from 1992 to 2000, and we didn't precision-bomb the fellow who was responsible, and we only impeached him a little.

Jihad Jimmy, Minister of War Crimes and Chief Defender of the Faith