3 AM Critic-style, Minute-by-Minute Log of the First Presidential Debate

[09/30 - 18:01]: hello
[09/30 - 18:01]: Here we go
[09/30 - 18:02]: Now the debates start!
[09/30 - 18:02]: Foreign policy and homeland security.
[09/30 - 18:02]: This guy is a shmuck.
[09/30 - 18:02]: Blah blah blah blah blah rules rules rules
[09/30 - 18:03]: silent my ass.
[09/30 - 18:03]: we're gonna have some protestor come up.
[09/30 - 18:03]: let's go George!
[09/30 - 18:03]: That was cordial
[09/30 - 18:04]: I wanna thank my rear end for getting me this far.
[09/30 - 18:04]: We're not doing an intro here, are we? When is your minute up, Kerry?
[09/30 - 18:04]: Kerry looks nervous
[09/30 - 18:05]: Me pale face. Me get scalped by injuns and terrorists.
[09/30 - 18:05]: I will reach out to the radical islamic muslims so that they may cut off my hands!
[09/30 - 18:06]: George looks good.
[09/30 - 18:07]: The president is sharp so far.
[09/30 - 18:09]: I'm suprised he hasn't 'uhhd' or 'ummd' yet.
[09/30 - 18:09]: or at least, not significantly...
[09/30 - 18:09]: and he doesn't have a teleprompter.
[09/30 - 18:09]: nice and forceful.
[09/30 - 18:09]: He's dead jim.
[09/30 - 18:10]: He's dead and he's talking
[09/30 - 18:10]: well, there's a lie right there.
[09/30 - 18:10]: Well, there's millions of military personnel out there...
[09/30 - 18:11]: one or two are gonna support you, paleface.
[09/30 - 18:11]: uhh, huh huh
[09/30 - 18:11]: I think butthead is on the podium
[09/30 - 18:12]: this guy is a trial lawyer, for certain. He's telling stories.
[09/30 - 18:13]: ahahahah!
[09/30 - 18:13]: Nice, "he looked at the same intel I looked at"
[09/30 - 18:14]: hahaha, good, Prez.
[09/30 - 18:14]: nice.
[09/30 - 18:14]: nice, he mentions 'pre-sept 10 mentality'
[09/30 - 18:15]: ahahah, that's right! We DO have the capability to do both
[09/30 - 18:17]: i notice that when Bush goes on a roll, he goes through his points well.
[09/30 - 18:17]: I hate when he says you "don't have a plan to win the peace"
[09/30 - 18:18]: sempter gumbi
[09/30 - 18:18]: semper gumby, rather.
[09/30 - 18:18]: Yeah, 'cause the president didn't vote for the 87 billion before he voted against it.
[09/30 - 18:19]: I will succeed because I am Herman Munster.
[09/30 - 18:19]: and my freakish appearance alone will do more than any tomahawk missle
[09/30 - 18:19]: missile
[09/30 - 18:20]: He's dead, Jim.
[09/30 - 18:21]: John, you're fear mongering.
[09/30 - 18:21]: oooh! He pointed!
[09/30 - 18:21]: and he's gonna repeal the tax cut!
[09/30 - 18:22]: Nice! heheh
[09/30 - 18:22]: damn right! tell them it takes time to fix, prez!
[09/30 - 18:24]: Prez. bush is being forceful tonight.
[09/30 - 18:26]: hahaahh! No artificial deadlines!
[09/30 - 18:27]: don't thank me, and don't send me any help, you turd.
[09/30 - 18:27]: 'help is on the way', go screw yourself, Kerry.
[09/30 - 18:27]: AND THOUSANDS OF IRAQIS GOT SLAUGHTERED
[09/30 - 18:28]: So, Mr. Kerry, are you saying you thought there were WMD in Iraq? Would you have "misled" us too?
[09/30 - 18:28]: FRESH CREDIBILITY!?
[09/30 - 18:28]: WTF is THAT?!
[09/30 - 18:29]: HE ADMITS HE MADE A MISTAKE!
[09/30 - 18:29]: Wait, the prez. didn't say he made a mistake in Iraq..
[09/30 - 18:29]: and you screwed tons of troops in Vietnam.
[09/30 - 18:29]: He brought it up...oh, christ.
[09/30 - 18:30]: huh?
[09/30 - 18:30]: All things he did do, wtf you talking about, Kerry?
[09/30 - 18:31]: Well, that's a crappy analogy.
[09/30 - 18:31]: it would be like invading Germany instead of Japan...but we did anyway...and we won.
[09/30 - 18:31]: in fact, we did both.
[09/30 - 18:32]: This guy is a spokesman for Michael Moore.
[09/30 - 18:33]: heh, okay, GW almost messed up there, but he recovered.
[09/30 - 18:34]: ahaha, nice retort, GW!
[09/30 - 18:35]: hmmm...the left is gonna pick up on this one...but it shows GW's humanity and realism.
[09/30 - 18:37]: There was a connection with Iraq and AQ.
[09/30 - 18:37]: "I want to talk the truth" hehe, right, after you tell it 70 different times.
[09/30 - 18:38]: This guy has to look at Persian Gulf War I, where the ally numbers were the same.
[09/30 - 18:40]: 15 years of Iraq dodging UN resolutions.
[09/30 - 18:40]: Oh, crap, we're dead if Kerry is president.
[09/30 - 18:41]: The real reason is the defeat of islamofascism.
[09/30 - 18:41]: that's the big danger.
[09/30 - 18:42]: okay, kerry just confused the crap out of me with doublespeak.
[09/30 - 18:43]: nice response, GW.
[09/30 - 18:45]: he's gonna say he was there....oops, nope.
[09/30 - 18:46]: don't confuse the war with the warriors?!
[09/30 - 18:46]: WTF does that mean?
[09/30 - 18:46]: ah, jeez, "johnkerry.com"
[09/30 - 18:47]: your plan...what is your plan!?
[09/30 - 18:48]: Sometimes you have to break something to fix it.
[09/30 - 18:48]: or, rather, take it apart.
[09/30 - 18:48]: Kerry: "I have a plan. He doesn't"
[09/30 - 18:49]: Right. I'm betting even money he couldn't do that.
[09/30 - 18:49]: I don't think people think we went there for their oil anymore.
[09/30 - 18:49]: yet another Michael Moore claim.
[09/30 - 18:51]: True. I don't think Kerry has been to Iraq, has he?
[09/30 - 18:52]: Jesus...Kerry has micromanager written all over him.
[09/30 - 18:52]: I hate working for micromanagers.
[09/30 - 18:55]: Good, he mentions Libya.
[09/30 - 18:55]: just what I was thinking.
[09/30 - 18:55]: Don't be anticlimactic, Kerry.
[09/30 - 18:56]: Really, Kerry. Neither did the Germans until we went to war with Japan.
[09/30 - 18:56]: That's bull. We had special forces in there.
[09/30 - 18:56]: Terrorists aren't going to hate us less by Kerry being president.
[09/30 - 18:58]: So, how would you appease NK, Senator?
[09/30 - 18:58]: oh, reallY? You support the doctrine of preemptive strike?!
[09/30 - 18:59]: dude, that's war.
[09/30 - 18:59]: which ball are you referring to, Kerry?
[09/30 - 19:00]: heheh, exactly.
[09/30 - 19:01]: uh oh....the left is gonna zing GW on not joining the criminal courts.
[09/30 - 19:03]: nice, GW. You're talking about building coalitions
[09/30 - 19:06]: ahahah, 'we can't sanction iran anymore'
[09/30 - 19:07]: GW isn't doing as badly as I thought he was.
[09/30 - 19:08]: I think Kerry is gonna put troops into Africa again.
[09/30 - 19:08]: uh oh, he mentions backdoor draft.
[09/30 - 19:09]: Hmmm...I don't wanna go to Darfur.
[09/30 - 19:11]: hehe, some humor.
[09/30 - 19:11]: hehe
[09/30 - 19:14]: Kerry is much better at spewing out numbers than is Bush.
[09/30 - 19:14]: Hmm...I think GW said that.
[09/30 - 19:15]: "I have never wavered in my life" ahahahha, he's a comedian.
[09/30 - 19:15]: What is this 'plan to win the peace' BS.
[09/30 - 19:16]: he's plugging his book. great.
[09/30 - 19:17]: uh oh....Kerry just screwed himself.
[09/30 - 19:21]: ho hum.
[09/30 - 19:22]: Good response about Putin, GW.
[09/30 - 19:25]: Kerry isn't coming through as really personable.
[09/30 - 19:26]: Well, nothing really new in the closing argument for Kerry.
[09/30 - 19:27]: Oh, Christ, Vietnam again.
[09/30 - 19:27]: Boy, he's making a lot of promises, isn't he.
[09/30 - 19:28]: AHAHHA, he just shot down the Draft questions!
[09/30 - 19:28]: Nice, GW.
[09/30 - 19:29]: a christian reference there, I believe.
[09/30 - 19:30]: All right! Looked pretty even on both sides.
[09/30 - 19:30]: Kerry looked angry throughout.
[09/30 - 19:30]: But both were strong debaters tonight.