OK. This is just freakin' RAD. And some fantasy sports too...

I know I've said it before, but I'll say it again...

Found this on one of the linkdumps.

So it's come to this. I have to create a whole table with bgcolor=orange to get you to the random links I find
PUNCH OUT ROCK OUT MUSIC VIDEO

Although if you're a good Citizen SHoPper, you'll know that whenever your Tio Jaime says he found something on the linkdumps, it's usually pretty good. Lemme see if there's anything else out there for you...

OK, no linkdump stuff, but here's a site you should all sign up for so we can play. I've set up a League called "SixHertz House of Fantasy". My team is The Bloodpfharts and features Nancy Pelo-suck, Barbara Lee, and RINO-hottie Olympia Snowe (I've had somewhat of a hard-on for her since 1994).

Another table bgcolor=orange to grab your attention. Again, the header explaining the table will be longer than the actual link inside. Hopefully this won't be necessary a few posts down the line...
Fantasy Congress - Where People Play Politics!

Although I don't think there are drafting capabilities. I think you just pick your team and go. I'll open the league for play when I get a nice handful of teams.

OK back to work.

Tio Jaime
Comissioner, SHoP Department of Recreational Sport (Non-nude)

Go Down on a Bear, Arizona

Not too good of a day here in Golden Bear Nation.

No. 8 Bears Upended By Arizona, 24-20

That's just fucking great. Yes, Cal should've been able to punch it in for a TD from one yard out after that amazing catch by Hawkins on a play-action. And really, that 4-point differential between the TD we should've had and the FG we actually got was the goddam difference in the game...

...BUT IF CERTAIN REFEREES COULD NOT FUCK UP PASS INTERFERENCE CALLS, ARI-FUCKING-ZONA WOULDN'T HAVE SCORED THE GODDAM TYING TOUCHDOWN AND THE ACCOMPANYING MOMENTUM. FUCK.

Hughes said it right. Here's an excerpt from the yahoo! sports recap...

excerpt from NCAA Football - California Golden Bears/Arizona Wildcats Recap Saturday November 11, 2006 - Yahoo! Sports
"The whole game was like plays going their way," cornerback Daymeion Hughes said. "I was like, 'Man, this can't be real.'"

Holy Fucking Shit!!! You're goddam right they got all the plays going their way! They call pass interference on Hughes... they don't call pass interference on CamelToe or whatever his stupid Wildcat-Dumbfuck name is.

That's what his shitty name is? What the FUCK is a "syndric"? At least people have heard of a "Daymeion". Not so much a "Marshawn" or a "DeSean", no, but still... Syndric? That could've passed for the name of the cybernetics company they blew up in T2.

We're not gonna blow our wad and go straight to the Cal Bandsmen angry-chat... There are a few more gems from this shitty yahoo sports article, which are making me relive the horror and shittiness that was this afternoon. Read on, Citizen SHoPper...

more shit from the shitty yahoo! sports recap...
"It has been a long day, but it ended great," said Arizona coach Mike Stoops, who has beaten four ranked opponents in three seasons. "People rushing the field at the end, that's always a good sign."

Well you're just a huge fucking genius, aren't you? How the fuck did you beat Jeff Tedford? You don't hear Tedford saying stupid shit like that. Pigfucking Whore-izona trash.

Here's Hughes weighing in on the horseshit pass interference call I referenced earlier...

more shit from the shitty yahoo! sports recap...
"That play right there was crucial," Hughes said. "That's usually a no-call. It wasn't blatant. I was just going for the football." Two plays later, Arizona tailback Chris Henry scored on a 4-yard run to tie the game at 17-17.

Go watch the tape. He didn't push off any more than CamelToe did, and actually didn't even push off first. If you genuinely believe that was pass interference, stop reading now because you don't deserve a place at the grown-up table.

more shit from the shitty yahoo! sports recap...

On the next series, Longshore hit Hawkins behind the Arizona secondary. But with no one between him and the end zone, Hawkins stumbled at about the 10 and landed at the Wildcats' 1. Cal failed to score on two Marshawn Lynch runs and an incomplete pass and settled for a 20-yard field goal by Tom Schneider. The most painful play came on Cal's final thrust. Longshore hit Jackson for an apparent 63-yard touchdown pass with 2:18 to play. But the score was nullified by a video review, which showed that Jackson stepped out at Arizona's 41.

No, that wasn't the most painful play. That was obvious he stepped out-of-bounds. It really was more painful to watch the anemic offense fail to score from one yard out. Three times.

THREE FUCKING TIMES.

And this leads me to my favorite quote from the article, and is a wonderful segue into the chat!

more shit from the shitty yahoo! sports recap...

Or perhaps Cal didn't make enough plays. The Golden Bears came into this game averaging 36.3 points per game, tied with Oregon for most in the Pac-10. The Bears had the league's leading rusher, Lynch, and its most efficient passer, Longshore. But while Lynch rushed for 102 yards, the Bears never found an offensive rhythm. "You just have these games sometimes, and it was one of those games for us," Longshore said. "It's really nobody's fault. We just couldn't get anything going."

Thought this brand of excuse-making was only particular to the Trojans? Whatever happened to the Buck Stopping Here? Oh no, fuck that...

WTF kind of leader is that?

12:20 AM JihadJimmyMWCCDF: WTF?!? That fucking dick! JihadJimmyMWCCDF: "You just have these games sometimes, and it was one of those games for us," Longshore said. "It's really nobody's fault. We just couldn't get anything going." JihadJimmyMWCCDF: if you're the fucking QUARTERBACK, then it's YOUR GODDAM FAULT CalGlock: hahahah CalGlock: seriously JihadJimmyMWCCDF: WTF kind of leader is that? JihadJimmyMWCCDF: nobody's fault? WHO THREW THE THREE FUCKING INTERCEPTIONS? JihadJimmyMWCCDF: U of A had 10 points off of those interceptions JihadJimmyMWCCDF: and oh shit, they won by 4 CalGlock: yeah, really JihadJimmyMWCCDF: nobody's fault MY ASS

No "I" in "team"... Definitely an "I" in "FAILURE".

Also, "INTERCEPTIONS".

Also, a huge fucking "I" in "HOLIDAY BOWL", isn't there?

fucking lazy oregonians
12:25 AM JihadJimmyMWCCDF: oh and yay, Oregon lost to U$C CalGlock: hah CalGlock: only by A LOT JihadJimmyMWCCDF: fucking lazy oregonians CalGlock: yeah CalGlock: really JihadJimmyMWCCDF: stupid shits CalGlock: it's as if they freak out when they play good teams like us and U$C

U$C's gonna do the same exact thing to us next weekend when we mosey-on-down to the LA Coliseum to decide the Pac-10 championship... Gonna be a fucking bloodbath. Start making plans for the Holiday Bowl. But really, that's alright with me from a jilted-bandsman perspective...

these little shits don't deserve it

JihadJimmyMWCCDF: fuck it JihadJimmyMWCCDF: we ain't going to the rose bowl this year CalGlock: probably not JihadJimmyMWCCDF: that's fine JihadJimmyMWCCDF: i don't want Cal going to the Rose Bowl JihadJimmyMWCCDF: these little shits don't deserve it CalGlock: yeah CalGlock: The band doesn't deserve it CalGlock: they suck CalGlock: ex-comm sucks CalGlock: not while people I know are in band JihadJimmyMWCCDF: Cal can go to the Rose Bowl when my firstborn daughter is marching glockenspiel JihadJimmyMWCCDF: then and only then CalGlock: hehehe JihadJimmyMWCCDF: between now and then? that's a lot of filipino glocks that have to wait CalGlock: heheh

These little shits don't deserve it! Who paid the dues from 1997 through 2001? That was us, dude! Generation Tom. We should have free bear backer status for life. Or at least a discount. Prorate it according to the number of years Coach Tom was coaching while you were at Berkeley...

fuck Arizona, fuck these shitty referees

12:30 AM JihadJimmyMWCCDF: fuck Arizona, fuck these shitty referees CalGlock: yeah JihadJimmyMWCCDF: fuck it all... it was easier under tom holmoe. i knew what to expect JihadJimmyMWCCDF: when we lost? eh. no big deal. we always lose JihadJimmyMWCCDF: when we win? holy shit, we won! JihadJimmyMWCCDF: nowadays... when we win? Well, BFD, we're supposed to win and win big CalGlock: yeah, really CalGlock: we're spoiled! JihadJimmyMWCCDF: exactly JihadJimmyMWCCDF: that's why no rose bowl for us... until my daughter marches in the Tournament of Roses Parade CalGlock: hehehe JihadJimmyMWCCDF: oh shit... next saturday in the LA coliseum? we're fucked... holiday bowl here we come! JihadJimmyMWCCDF: yay! JihadJimmyMWCCDF: we're gonna lose Big Game 12:35 AM JihadJimmyMWCCDF: fuckin' stupid golden bears CalGlock: yeah.....really

Here we were, looking ahead to U$C... now nobody's looking ahead. We're all dreading Cal-U$C next weekend. We're gonna get creamed.

Go Bears, beat the spread!
Jihad Jimmy
Commissioner, SHoP Department of Recreational Sport (Non-nude)

Bears in Pearls Before Swine before Swine

In commemoration of the upcoming game between Cal (Tio Jaime's and LMHBrent's alma mater) and Arizona (Shiraz's alma mater), we have the following strip from OTW Mark favorite Pearls Before Swine

bodog.com is giving the wildcats an extra 14 points at home against the visiting #8 Golden Bears

I was preparing an election post, since I live a short bridge ride away from Nancy Pelo-suck's district... I got bored with it though. Let's just leave it at this...

Separated at Birth?

I like that one. It's a classic. Can be found on one of these SHoP archived posts... check em out as they all reference the future Shrieker of the House.

SHoP Talk
Democruds: If you want America to take you seriously, consider ditching Rep. Nancy Pelosi (CUNT - CA)
It's so farfetched, HFS, it's working right now as you read this!
Are you there God? It's me, Jihad Jimmy...

And then another Separated at Birth, featuring our favorite San Francisco C-bag...

Separated at Birth?

That last pair there? I was looking for one where she looked like James Cromwell (no offense, JC). Instead I found one where James Cromwell's partner there seems to fit the bill just a little bit better. What say you?

And interestingly enough, I came up with the post title before I found the Cromwell pic... I was relying on Nancy Pelo-skank to be the second "swine", but i found a pig that'll do. Heh. Ties it all in very nicely and makes me want to get a bacon sandwich.