For fuck's sake, are you through not listening to your Tio Jaime yet?

I'm drunk and I still managed to win $5. What did you do at 2:15 am, California time?

See how much your Favorite SHoP Overlord Tio Jaime loves you? He even found a blingo.com referral link for you despite the alcohol-induced haze. Sponsored by Jack Daniels.

One of those links is NSFW. So be careful. What's that? Why yes, I'd love some more bourbon!

Jihad Jimmy, Minister of War Crimes and Chief Defender of the Faith

ps- please excuse the labels. I kinda got excited. I blame the drunkenness.

God Bless the Elias Sports Bureau!

This is actually even cooler then when the Giants had an all 40+ outfield...

Excerpt from Old timers' day: record 7 40-year-olds to start Wednesday,

PHILADELPHIA (AP) -- Break out the Geritol, Ensure and Bengay. It really will be old-timers' day in the major leagues on Wednesday, when a record seven pitchers in their 40s are scheduled to start. The New York Yankees' Roger Clemens (44), Philadelphia's Jamie Moyer (44), Detroit's Kenny Rogers (42), San Diego's Greg Maddux (41), the New York Mets' Tom Glavine (41), Houston's Woody Williams (40) and Atlanta's John Smoltz (40) are set to pitch on the same day. The previous record of six was set last Friday, according to the Elias Sports Bureau, when all but Clemens started.

I'm actually somewhat surprised that 1) my Giants don't have any contributions to the geriatrification of baseball in this article, and 2) infrequent SHoP Overlord SixHertz hasn't provided us with an update of his favorite celebrity and her release from jail.

I'm just racking up the SHoP labels...

love always,
Jihad Jimmy, Minister of War Crimes and Chief Defender of the Faith

Congratulations!

Our faithful readers will be happy to know there's one more conservative (aka, sane--of course sane, she's my wife!!) attorney in Illinois - Shiraz got her bar results today, and she's a first-time passer! Congratulations on the successful culmination of your hard work! We're partying now!!

On another note, your infrequent (yet faithful) SHoP overlord is in his 3rd quarter at Chicago GSB (and still looking for a summer internship) and busy as all hell. Thanks to Jihad Jimmy for keeping the midnight oil burning. I will get back to blogging sometime soon when things start slowing down--and I have a lot to say...

Some games for you

Here are some cool games which you Citizen SHoPpers might like. You may have even pointed me towards one or two of them.

Chick Chick Boom

Cool little game which I found this morning on the linkdumps, I'll have to check it out some more later after work.

Tower Defense

A favorite of Infrequent SHoP Overlord SixHertz and Citizen SHoPper MwHCock.

Insaniquarium

A SHoP classic. No way I could omit this, what with its history here in the House of Pain.
FUCKING ALIEN ATE MY EXPENSIVE FISH. ASSHOLE.
"by the way, fyi, the electric eel is a worthless piece of shit. there. i said it."

Connect 2

Says it's easy, but this game is DECEPTIVELY HARD!!! I've only gotten to Level 2. You only get three hints! They don't recharge after each level!

OK happy gaming. I'm gonna stop playing Chick Chick Boom. For now. Feel free to post your own games in the comments. And I'm deleting comments that have nothing to do with internet games.

Jihad Jimmy, Minister of War Crimes and Chief Defender of the Faith

Hiccup remedy you've probably never tried...

Was reading about this girl last night, whose five weeks of hiccups ended.

Sucks to be her, I guess. Nice that the hiccups stopped when she was going to sleep.

So then, as I am wont to do, I looked up "hiccup" on wikipedia, just to see what one of my newest favorite internet tubes says about something as simple and ubiquitous as a bodily function. My favorite exerpt is below, emphasis mine...

from wikipedia.org's entry on Hiccup

In 2006, Francis Fesmire of the University of Tennessee College of Medicine received an Ig Nobel prize for medicine after he published "Termination of intractable hiccups with digital rectal massage" in 1988.[1] In an attempt to block the runaway messages on the vagus nerve, Fesmire found that stimulation of the vagus nerve by digital rectal massage worked, stopping a bout of hiccupping. Fesmire also commented "An orgasm results in incredible stimulation of the vagus nerve."

So you think, "Oh, OK. Cool, a hiccup study."

Then you get that puzzled look on your face-- "Wait. Hold on...

"Massage. OK, sounds good.

"Rectal massage? Oh no, that's not as good.

"Digital. Hmm. I'm guessing that's not technological in nature. Especially not since the digits on my hands seem to be evolutionally tailored to things requiring motor skills. Like massage."

And now you realize that some professor somewhere did an entire study on this. Perhaps you're now wondering just how he recruited subjects for this study? I know I was...

HELP WANTED FOR STUDY OF HICCUPS Got excessive and/or chronic hiccups? Don't mind touching yourself in or being touched by others in your bad area? Contact Dr. Fesmire for more info. And a good time.

Back in the third grade, our (myself and infrequent-SHoP Overlord SixHertz) teacher seemed to have numerous cures for hiccups. I don't think this was one of them though...

Jihad Jimmy, Minister of War Crimes and Chief Defender of the Faith