SHoP Mysteries Explained: YTMND

Ever find yourself wondering just what the fuck your favorite SHoP Overlord Tio Jaime and sometime SHoP Overlord SixHertz are talking about? It's probably because they're referencing some inside joke. And you, being on the outside looking in, don't get it. Don't worry though, we're not here to judge. This happens a lot, and not just to you! I find myself playing Catch Up with a new radio show trying to figure out the inside jokes and running gags.

Here on the SHoP, we could let you flounder and research this shit yourselves, ideally by clicking on the "ytmnd" label, but I myself know just how reliable you are when it comes to following enlightening links. You won't. And again, don't worry, we're not here to judge.

But seriously, follow the links below. You'll be a better person for it. Even more importantly, you'll be a better Citizen of the Internet. And that'll pay off in spades. Somehow. Hey look! More header tags!

YTMND Fads

It's very nice how with a few magic html-dealies, a clumsily and blatantly acknowledged non sequitur can be played off as part of the post, isn't it?

You may have heard SixHertz or myself go back and forth with O RLY YA RLY here on the SHoP and derive an inordinate amount of pleasure from something seemingly stupid-- and really, that's nothing unlike how you stupid Leftists blow Rosie O'Donnell each tim she opens her stupid piehole. Well heck, here's an explanation of that ytmnd fad.

These fads start out small and blossom like crazy. Some are more popular than others. Some other SHoP favorites are Safety Not Guaranteed, Picard Song, Nooo!, and What is Love. If you're an extra-lazy Citizen SHoPper, at least check out the "Original YTMND:" listed in the right-hand column.

Facial Expressions and Nigga Stole My Bike are also pretty good. I'll plug those here.

OK, and Medieval.

You wanna get political? Here's some Howard Dean for you. And because they're so good, and you're so lazy, here... 1) hyyeeeahhhh, 2) California (Howard Dean does the OC), and 3) Howard Dean: California Love

OK Citizen SHoPpers, I've linked a lot here for you. Go check 'em out, I'm going to sleep.

Dirty Hippies, Reality Television, Strip Clubs, Killing Trees, Nasty Protest Chicks, California Baseball, Leetspeak, and, um... Strip Clubs. Again.

This summary is not available. Please click here to view the post.

CTU: San Andreas

PREVIOUSLY ON THE SHoP...

"It's just gonna be another one of those days..."
How wonderful it must be for you never to have to listen to the men around you who are much smarter than you are.
Oh man, I just shot Tony Almeida in the face!
i don't like that creepy spanish mole fag

THE FOLLOWING TAKES PLACE BETWEEN 8:00 PM AND 9:00 PM.

EVENTS OCCUR IN REAL TIME.

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I got kinda excited when Kim was talking about Caltrans. Then I realized that she's retarded.

Jihad Jimmy, Minister of War Crimes and Chief Defender of the Faith

3am Criticism of Tio Jaime's DVD of Episode 5 of Season 3 of "24" from Fox

You are now in chat room "AIMisaBunchofPigEffers." JihadJimmy858 has entered the chat room. JihadJimmy858 (8:04:53 PM): hello dere JihadJimmy858 (8:04:57 PM): time for more 24 JihadJimmy858 (8:05:09 PM): gonna be working out in the background, so this'll be short... JihadJimmy858 (8:05:40 PM): we're @ 5pm? JihadJimmy858 (8:07:07 PM): here we go JihadJimmy858 (8:07:39 PM): PREVIOUSLY ON 24 JihadJimmy858 (8:07:44 PM): PRESIDENT DAVID PALMER!!! JihadJimmy858 (8:07:56 PM): MICHELLE DESSLER!!! JihadJimmy858 (8:08:13 PM): KYLE SINGER!!! JihadJimmy858 (8:08:33 PM): KIM BAUER!!! JihadJimmy858 (8:08:48 PM): JACK BAUER!!! JihadJimmy858 (8:09:32 PM): THE FOLLOWING TAKES PLACE BETWEEN 5:00 PM AND 6:00 PM JihadJimmy858 (8:11:11 PM): ooh yeah prison riot time JihadJimmy858 (8:14:56 PM): ohhh, now you want the government guys to help you? ASS JihadJimmy858 (8:15:49 PM): Caltrans server!!! JihadJimmy858 (8:15:58 PM): (said kim) JihadJimmy858 (8:17:59 PM): OK that worked like charm JihadJimmy858 (8:18:09 PM): flank the 10 or so prisoners JihadJimmy858 (8:20:34 PM): LOL he's hanging himself JihadJimmy858 (8:20:47 PM): AND HOW THE FUCK DOES HE KNOW WHETHER NOR NOT THE VIRUS DIES W/THE HOST? JihadJimmy858 (8:23:11 PM): yeah right like a CalTrans camera can do that... JihadJimmy858 (8:27:54 PM): OK i didn't think that guard was gonna die... JihadJimmy858 (8:32:04 PM): OR feeds from good samaritan? Oh, Right. JihadJimmy858 (8:32:12 PM): get it? OR = "Oh, Right" JihadJimmy858 (8:32:24 PM): TONY ALMEIDA!!! JihadJimmy858 (8:33:07 PM): well, if they have access to secret Caltrans servers... i'm sure Good Sam isn't a stretch at all... JihadJimmy858 (8:33:25 PM): so maybe they should give Chase some riot gear, i dunno... JihadJimmy858 (8:42:43 PM): Dualling Annoying CTU-C.U.N.T.S.!!! JihadJimmy858 (8:44:13 PM): Ann-Chick: "LET'S GET 'EM!" JihadJimmy858 (8:44:17 PM): i like her boobs JihadJimmy858 (8:45:57 PM): There's no crying at CTU! JihadJimmy858 (8:49:39 PM): that little shit KYLE SINGER didn't deserve to be saved JihadJimmy858 (8:49:52 PM): i can't hear you JihadJimmy858 (8:50:14 PM): ha ha JihadJimmy858 (8:50:47 PM): CTU: San Andreas JihadJimmy858 (8:51:06 PM): LOL, that was the Jack Bauer O RLY? shot JihadJimmy858 (8:51:12 PM): 6:00:00 JihadJimmy858 has left the chat room.

See? The environment hates people. Don't bother trying to save it.

PREVIOUSLY ON THE SHoP...

Obey My Duck!
Baby Boomers: Eat me

THE FOLLOWING TAKES PLACE BETWEEN 3:00 PM AND 4:00 PM.

EVENTS OCCUR IN REAL TIME.

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Shit. What can we say? Next time, just stay in your fucking car.

Would've been cooler if this bird was just playing dead in the hopes of pecking some do-gooder's eyes out.
Woman in Oregon stops to help bird; truck hits, kills her

Personally, I was just excited to read about Fred Meyer.

Police said they couldn't cite a cause of the accident but ruled out alcohol or speed.

Hmmmph. How about, "This chick was a dumbfuck."

How much you wanna bet this dumb chick was the same one who would think nothing more of walking in front of your truck in the rain on a 40mph road without looking. And then getting mad when you slam on your brakes to try to save her useless life. Arrogant, selfish hippies-- all of 'em. More of these people need to die before they start learning about the value of common sense.

all my love,
Jihad Jimmy, Minister of War Crimes and Chief Defender of the Faith

Get Bent, Internal Revenue Service!!!

PREVIOUSLY ON THE SHoP...

Get Bent, Political Correctness!!!
Get Bent, Critical Mass!!!

THE FOLLOWING TAKES PLACE BETWEEN 8:00 PM AND 10:00 PM.

EVENTS OCCUR IN REAL TIME.

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I was looking forward to celebrating my first Buy a Gun Day, up until I completed my 1040A and 540 2EZ forms. And Eff me in my productive-member-of-society ass, I owe an extra $1200 federal and state taxes.

New to the SHoP? One of those gun hating bay area Leftist Degenerates? Live in a city which recently voted to ban handguns? I'm sure our recent Infernalanche netted us a few new readers who will be turning tail pretty quick now that we're working our way back to our regular programming. Go on, run home and cry to momma. Or salon.com.

OK. Now that I've burned another few lines to get us past the img aligned to the right...

I didn't think I'd get to buy one this year. But I saw this baby on sale today at Big 5 Sporting Goods, normally $299.99, on sale throughout the week for $239.99!!!

(soon-to-be) My First Shotgun!
12-gauge pictured, but the 20-gauge I want is the one on sale

I can manage that, even in spite of the absence of the refund I had been expecting...

It's on sale through next Saturday, so I'll probably go out later this week, la la la, 10-day waiting period, and away we go! pics to follow soon? oh you betcha

Special Tio Jaime Slap-in-the-Face: Hmm, I was hoping to buy my Buy a Gun Day mossberg shotgun from the Big 5 in Berkeley, but it looks like it closed down. No Big 5s in Oakland, and definitely not San Francisco. The closest I can get is El Cerrito or Alameda. In any case, for about the same price as major service for the UESC Lorelai, your Tio Jaime will have himself a shotgun! We just gotta wait 10 days.

Jihad Jimmy, Minister of War Crimes and Chief Defender of the Faith

ps- Aaron's cc: is down, and I found the banner at Beth's MVRWC. And she wants a trackback.

<update date="20060419" time="0938">
Banner is down, so i replaced it with a random thumbnail from my flickr collection. ya rly!

Oh, also: the 12-gauge is on sale! I should have one 10 days after this friday!
</update>

Full Metal Jacket, the Rolling Stones, Bachelor Party, FUCK YEAH!, Pittsburg(h) Amy, and Doing Our Part to Kill Leet-Speak

Pretty hefty motherfucker of a post for you this morning. Can you handle it? Of course you can, Citizen SHoPper! Press on... HFS what? 2/8/06, 11:34 PM TioJaime: new SHoP posts for you SixHertz: HFS SixHertz: whatup, dude. TioJaime: HFS what? 11:35 PM SixHertz: HFS, I dunno. I'm in fucking Irvine. TioJaime: HOLY FUCKING SHIT SixHertz: I KNOW! TioJaime: HOLY DOG SHIT IRVINE SixHertz: YEAH, IRVINE! TioJaime: ONLY STEERS AND QUEERS COME FROM IRVINE SixHertz: O RLY? TioJaime: YA RLY! SixHertz: NO WAI! Just joining us, Citizen SHoPper? Click on the links for cross-references to inside jokes. See? Not even Don and Mike do that for you. i almost put a fake link to shitantics.blogspot but i stopped myself 11:40 PM SixHertz: Man with large synonym for rooster. HA! SixHertz: excellent posts. TioJaime: hans bricks commented... TioJaime: and now i'm commenting on my own post in response TioJaime: i almost put a fake link to shitantics.blogspot but i stopped myself SixHertz: ok, I commented. take a look. :P TioJaime: OK 11:45 PM TioJaime: OK and i commented back TioJaime: LOL SixHertz: LOL SixHertz: okay, so what's this "arouse a dead man" euphemism? I don't listen to rolling bones. SixHertz: heh, bones. TioJaime: someting about "she makes a dead man come" TioJaime: beats me... go download the lyrics SixHertz: oh, that's right. 11:55 PM TioJaime: good stuff over @ marknicodemo.mu.nu TioJaime: fairy wire might even agree w/us 12:00 AM SixHertz: hehe, lemme check TioJaime: hey can you change the TTLB animal? TioJaime: change it to "Man with Huge Synonym for Rooster" 12:05 AM SixHertz: BOXER urges Sheehan not to challenge Feinstein?! BAAAHAHAHAHA TioJaime: oh that's gonna be great! SixHertz: So, Jesus and Muhammad walk into a bar... SixHertz: ... SixHertz: we should just make a whole bunch of lurid muhammad jokes. We didn't go down that route. Instead, I opted for an inappropriate non sequitur and that seemed to do the trick. and why aren't all of them e-mailing me themselves? TioJaime: http://www.google.com/search?hl=en&q=bobo%27s%20scrotum%20polish&spell=1 TioJaime: we're #1 for "bobo's scrotum polish" TioJaime: and like #5 or 6 for "john london's inferno" 12:10 AM TioJaime: OK due TioJaime: dude TioJaime: i'm going to bed TioJaime: too tired even to rub one out TioJaime: WTF SixHertz: ugh. SixHertz: heh SixHertz: 'night TioJaime: whoa whoa, steve d is confirming w/marc h and scott b TioJaime: who are these dudes, now? TioJaime: and why aren't all of them e-mailing me themselves? SixHertz: Shiraz's brother, and his two friends. 12:15 AM SixHertz: Steve is in Minnesota, Marc lives in Chicago, and Scott lives in Denver. SixHertz: Oscar lives in North Carolina SixHertz: Lynn lives in New York. SixHertz: Merry fucking christmas SixHertz: San Diego, Oakland, San Jose, Seattle SixHertz: People from all across the country SixHertz: Actually, take back seattle. He lives in Monterey, now. TioJaime: and strippers from all across the country as well, my friend TioJaime: and handguns from austria SixHertz: fuck yeah This was in reference to a bachelor party e-mail I sent out earlier in the week. I'll try to post it later today. And it seems that we've hit a slow spot in the chat. Fortunately, SixHertz and I then created what will become one of the greatest games EVER to grace the pages of the SHoP. We're surprised that nobody else has thought of this game yet. You can figure it out. you win this round of FUCK YEAH! 12:20 AM SixHertz: fuck N A TioJaime: ya rly! SixHertz: o rly? SixHertz: fuck no wai! TioJaime: oh f*ck ya rly! SixHertz: SHIT YA! TioJaime: F*CK YA! TioJaime: FIREARMS! FUCK YEAH! SixHertz: DILDOS! FUCK YEAH! TioJaime: TRANSVESTITE STRIPPERS! FUCK YEAH! SixHertz: HAMSTERS! SixHertz: FUCK YEAH! TioJaime: SNUFF FILMS! FUCK YEAH! SixHertz: CHICKENSHIT! FUCK YEAH! TioJaime: GOLDEN SHOWERS! TioJaime: FUCK YEAH! SixHertz: MASTURBATION! SixHertz: FUCK YEAH! TioJaime: OH FUCK YEAH! SixHertz: or FUCK ME! TioJaime: CIRCUMCISION! TioJaime: FUCK YEAH! SixHertz: FUCK NO! TioJaime: FUCK NO? SixHertz: NO WAI! TioJaime: LOL SixHertz: :D TioJaime: you win this round of FUCK YEAH! SixHertz: ROFL! 12:25 AM TioJaime: we'll play again SixHertz: hahahaha Still stumped? Check out Team America: World Police. Pay close attention to the soundtrack. Or shit, just download "America, F**k Yeah!" from your peer-to-peer of choice. Again, as before, click on the link to find the origin of the inside story. Keep clicking on the link until you find the first occurrence. I know you're curious. You are not you. You are me. SixHertz: get your ass to mars. SixHertz: **name that movie** TioJaime: You are not you. You are me. TioJaime: No shit. SixHertz: lol SixHertz: u got it SixHertz: o rly TioJaime: OK dude, really gotta get to bed SixHertz: ok, night TioJaime: ya rly! SixHertz: pigfux0rs! TioJaime: picking up pittsburg(h) amy from the airporx0rs tomorrow SixHertz: P15fVX0rz SixHertz: whoah SixHertz: you never sent me a pic TioJaime: yeah TioJaime: oh fuck me TioJaime: OK tell you what TioJaime: i'm gonna save this in the drafts right now TioJaime: and tomorrow, when i make the final edit TioJaime: at work SixHertz: haha TioJaime: i'll forward you the pics TioJaime: fair enough? Whoa. That reminder worked like a charm! I just sent the pics out. I didn't find the Total Recall pic I wanted. I wanted the one where Hauser is talking to Quaid via the vidscreen. I hope that this one is OK for now. maybe we can kill it off right here in the SHoP SixHertz: More profanity on the SHoP. What else esta nuevo? SixHertz: I wanna start putting up upside down questionmarks on the shop TioJaime: anything less would be uncivilized SixHertz: damn right TioJaime: go for it dude! TioJaime: You're a SHoP Overlord TioJaime: oh, and check out www.rhothetaphi.org/jimmy/SITS SixHertz: just to poke fun at the faggoty ass brazilians who think their shit don't stink TioJaime: episode 2 is up SixHertz: wait...that's only spanish. SixHertz: nevermind. 12:30 AM TioJaime: what's only spanish? TioJaime: the podcast? SixHertz: the upside down ??'s SixHertz: not portuguese. SixHertz: I should know this stuff, really. TioJaime: oh i see what you're saying TioJaime: fuck these foreigners TioJaime: we should all speak in binary TioJaime: 11001001 SixHertz: 000100101010101000100101010010 TioJaime: 0 r1y? SixHertz: 110010101001010101fuck100010101all100101010foreigners0010010 SixHertz: read between the lines! SixHertz: motherf10101cker! SixHertz: ya r1y! SixHertz: haha SixHertz: n0 wa1! TioJaime: n0 wa1!!!!!!!!!1 SixHertz: ROFL! SixHertz: okay, chickenfucker, go to bed. :D TioJaime: I think we've taken internet fads and leet-speak to new lows (TJ: more on internet phenomenons here) SixHertz: haha TioJaime: maybe we can kill it off right here in the SHoP TioJaime: if not now, when? TioJaime: if not us, who? SixHertz: n0 \/\/41!!!!!11!1 TioJaime: LOL TioJaime: goodnight dude SixHertz: |\|0 \/\/41!11!! SixHertz: ok, night buddy The Secretary says bring flowers to the airport. I'm inclined to disagree. What say you, Citizen SHoPpers? Jihad Jimmy, Minister of War Crimes and Chief Defender of the Faith

SixHertz House of Super Bowl Ambivalence

Super Bowl is finished. Nobody in the SHoP really cares. Go Niners. On an unrelated note, exploda-muslims are pissed because of a couple of cartoons. Maybe they should check out PBF. 49er Faithfuls and eagled-eyed media watchdogs chatting after a shitty Super Bowl 6:55 PM TioJ: i fucking hate the steelers TioJ: fucking stupid seattle 7:20 PM SixH: seattle bungled up that one. TioJ: yeah dude TioJ: and check this out TioJ: http://news.yahoo.com/s/nm/20060206/ts_nm/nfl_superbowl_dc TioJ: WTF, the niners were first to 5 TioJ: asshole reuters SixH: you're goddam right they did. TioJ: fuck pittsburgh TioJ: fuck seattle TioJ: fuck everybody but the niners TioJ: i wore my #80 Rice jersey today during the game TioJ: and my niners hard hat 7:25 PM SixH: Just wearing that alone? TioJ: oh, and a cock sock SixH: ah, good. TioJ: whoa grey's anatomy right now?? no time for GTA San Andreas TioJ: whoa gratuituous lesbianosity TioJ: ! 7:30 PM SixH: were the ads stupid? I missed the first quarter and a half. TioJ: ads sucked TioJ: except for one or two TioJ: the one i posted on the SHoP was better 7:35 PM SixH: ok, what the FUCK is this bi-lingual commercial I hear about? Did you see that one? TioJ: oh yeah, i didn't think too much about it TioJ: it sucked TioJ: although it stressed the importance of foreigners learning english SixH: o rly? TioJ: ya rly! SixH: o rly? TioJ: ya rly! SixH: o rly? SixH: no wai! TioJ: heh SixH: hahahaha SixH: ROFL wonderful reporting from Reuters. Way to go, people who write about football but probably haven't sat through an entire game. excerpt from shitty article mentioned above 14 minutes ago DETROIT (Reuters) - Halfback Willie Parker scampered 75 yards for the longest touchdown run from scrimmage in title game history to help lead the Pittsburgh Steelers to a 21-10 victory over the Seattle Seahawks in Super Bowl XL on Sunday. Parker's record run came just 22 seconds into the third quarter as Pittsburgh claimed its first National Football League championship since 1980 and became the first team to win five Super Bowls. I wonder if they've corrected it yet... Oh hey, they corrected it. Ha ha. Niner nation. OK time for the Code Black we've all been waiting for in the post-Super Bowl Grey's Anatomy... Jihad Jimmy, Ministry of War Crimes and Chief Defender of the Faith

which loosely translated means, "i like your boobs / let me lick your boobs"

Yes, that post title is somewhat inappropriate. Especially since I like legs and buttocks more than boobies. But since a good portion of the SHoP will either like boobies or have boobies (hopefully both?) I'm in a very small minority. Despite my being a large minority. (Read: Post title socially inappropriate. I'm not a boob-man. Most of you Citizen SHoPpers are boob-men or are women (or are boob-women?), so I am of the minority opinion. Although I am a husky Filipino.) That first paragraph was just confusing enough to those on the outside looking in to warrant a translation. Hope this helps. If you didn't need a translation to read the first paragraph, you'll probably be amused by the italicized stuff then... The Sea Gal in question is a fourth year Sea Gal named Trina. She's dreamy. Jihad Jimmy, Minister of War Crimes and Chief Defender of the Faith You're the Man now, dogg! SixHertz: dude, I love that picture with you and the sea gals. TioJaime: yeah, me too SixHertz: great background. SixHertz: great foreground TioJaime: nice mammaries SixHertz: yes, me likey TioJaime: my favorite one is in the lower right TioJaime: curly hair TioJaime: w/highlights SixHertz: o rly? SixHertz: orly.ytmnd.com 9:10 AM TioJaime: am i missing something? SixHertz: this is what I meant to show you SixHertz: http://rly.ytmnd.com/ SixHertz: http://chunkpicard.ytmnd.com/ SixHertz: you seen the latest ytmnds? TioJaime: no, hit me SixHertz: http://chocolatequarter.ytmnd.com/ TioJaime: LOL 9:15 AM SixHertz: http://cornonthekabob.ytmnd.com/ SixHertz: this one is awesome. TioJaime: LOL 9:20 AM TioJaime: oh that's fucking hilarious SixHertz: and that's the actual song! TioJaime: yeah TioJaime: i recognize it TioJaime: "korah matah / korah ratamah" TioJaime: which loosely translated means, "i like your boobs / let me lick your boobs" SixHertz: hahaha SixHertz: http://conanthekabab.ytmnd.com/ 9:25 AM SixHertz: http://spongebobhuntsmoore.ytmnd.com/ SixHertz: ROFL!!! SixHertz: http://ournextprez.ytmnd.com/ SixHertz: ROFL!! TioJaime: OH JESUS TioJaime: i wasn't expecting that <hotchicks origin="sea" colloquially="gals"> click to enlarge in new window Korah Matah Korah Ratamah </hotchicks>