On Sacrifice

This great war effort must be carried through to its victorious conclusion by the indomitable will and determination of the people as one great whole.
It must not be impeded by the faint of heart.
It must not be impeded by those who put their own selfish interests above the interests of the nation.
It must not be impeded by those who pervert honest criticism into falsification of fact.
It must not be impeded by self-styled experts either in economics or military problems who know neither true figures nor geography itself.
It must not be impeded by a few bogus patriots who use the sacred freedom of the press to echo the sentiments of the propagandists in Tokyo and Berlin.
And, above all, it shall not be imperiled by the handful of noisy traitors --betrayers of America, (and) betrayers of Christianity itself -- would-be dictators who in their hearts and souls have yielded to Hitlerism and would have this Republic do likewise.
I shall use all of the executive power that I have to carry out the policy laid down. If it becomes necessary to ask for any additional legislation in order to attain our objective of preventing a spiral in the cost of living, I shall do so.

--Franklin Delano Roosevelt
Fireside Chat 21 (April 28, 1942)

It becomes clear that constant reminders for the public are a necessity, because the general public is dumb.

Envirodouchebags can go eat a turd.

What was that, chicken little? Can I trouble you for a glass of shut the hell up?

NOAA ATTRIBUTES RECENT INCREASE IN HURRICANE ACTIVITY
TO NATURALLY OCCURRING MULTI-DECADAL CLIMATE VARIABILITY

"NOAA attributes this increased activity to natural occurring cycles in tropical climate patterns near the equator. These cycles, called "the tropical multi-decadal signal," typically last several decades (20 to 30 years or even longer). As a result, the North Atlantic experiences alternating decades long (20 to 30 year periods or even longer) of above normal or below normal hurricane seasons. NOAA research shows that the tropical multi-decadal signal is causing the increased Atlantic hurricane activity since 1995, and is not related to greenhouse warming."

Boy, it sucks when you don't have evidence to support kneejerk suppositions, doesn't it.

Screw this. We'll go right ahead and say what KGO couldn't: Chicks are waxing off and lasering off their pubes.

Just watched a segment on KGO's 11 o'clock news.

Hairless Fad Could Have Consequences

Hopefully, they'll put up a video soon. It's pretty funny how the closest they come to talking about pubic hair and crotchal regions is through showing a Sex and the City clip.

The best part? When they show the Campanile. "WTF?" you'll find yourself thinking, but oh OK then they start interviewing berkeley guys and one berkeley chick. And if you didn't already realize it, berkeley chicks don't shave their legs. Nor their armpits. Yet somehow, the pubes make the cut?

My neighbor is coming home right now from watching Grey's Anatomy at a friend's (place). I wonder if my neighbor is shorn. Maybe a nice landing strip?

I'd try to sneak some right-margin pics in right about now. Yeah, right.

[update date="20051128" time="1028"]
OK a video has been up for a while. Go to the article's link above, and then click on the VIDEO link. Why does this seem like a no-brainer? That's because it is. Except your Tio Jaime didn't know it because he was trying to use Firefox this whole time.

And Firefox doesn't quite handle the pop-up. Or maybe that's just me. In any case, try several browsers. Funny video.
[/update]

so... no indian doctors or nurses, but hey indian patient with neverending boner!

Whoa. KGO-TV news is telling me that there was a earthquake an hour and a half ago. Didn't feel a single thing. I was putting laundry away.

Moving on. The best part of the episode was when they played the Greenskeepers' song "Lotion". Look it up. Find the video. Too bad they ruined the song by actually referring to Buffalo Bill and the lotion...

OH AND WHAT IS THIS SHIT? CINDY SHEEHAN CRYING? AND NOW SHE'S LAUGHING AND SMILING! WHAT A CROCK OF SHIT!

I'm gonna stop watching the news, as it just makes me mad.

all my love,
Jihad Jimmy, Minister of War Crimes and Chief Defender of the Faith

3am Criticism of Grey's Anatomy! And it doesn't suck!

You are now in chat room "GASucksPoop." TioJ has entered the chat room. TioJ (9:52:27 PM): hello dere TioJ (9:52:30 PM): oh wonderful TioJ (9:52:46 PM): i'm reading the plot for tonight's Grey's Anatomy TioJ (9:52:51 PM): i'm predicting a major suck-fest TioJ (9:53:38 PM): good thing i have D&M to tool around with TioJ (9:53:45 PM): a few minutes and we'll be underway TioJ (10:01:09 PM): here we go TioJ (10:01:10 PM): TioJ (10:01:49 PM): OK meredith having another whore moment TioJ (10:01:54 PM): ooh boyshorts TioJ (10:02:05 PM): ooh HFA TioJ (10:02:24 PM): ooh stupid dr. izzie and frat cockt0r TioJ (10:03:07 PM): ooh space needle! TioJ (10:04:00 PM): ooh sandra oh in a bra TioJ (10:04:08 PM): funny how i'm OK w/that TioJ (10:04:32 PM): oh, was dr. ellen's dude some indian guy? TioJ (10:05:13 PM): whatta fag TioJ (10:05:36 PM): george is folding his laundry while his female roommates talk to him about flaccid BF problems? TioJ (10:05:52 PM): she has big teeth TioJ (10:06:32 PM): Booger! TioJ (10:08:39 PM): "they always look so sad when i kick them out" TioJ (10:09:34 PM): and his boner won't go away TioJ (10:09:37 PM): and he was indian! TioJ (10:09:47 PM): "nobody knows where they might end up" TioJ (10:15:25 PM): priapism! TioJ (10:16:26 PM): so... no indian doctors or nurses, but hey indian patient with neverending boner! TioJ (10:17:35 PM): "are we feeling existential this morning?" TioJ (10:19:28 PM): whoa Greenskeepers! TioJ (10:19:35 PM): "Lotion" TioJ (10:19:41 PM): which is a grace song TioJ (10:20:04 PM): it puts the lotion on its skin! TioJ (10:20:06 PM): or else it gets the hose again! TioJ (10:20:13 PM): it puts the lotion on its skin! TioJ (10:20:17 PM): or else it gets the hose again TioJ (10:20:22 PM): yes precious, it gets the hose TioJ (10:20:55 PM): wow this episode doesn't suck! TioJ (10:21:23 PM): dr. izzie-whore! TioJ (10:22:17 PM): "lotion in the basket" said george TioJ (10:22:45 PM): shitty way to tie into the Greenskeepers song TioJ (10:26:06 PM): ooh dr. izzie whore TioJ (10:28:16 PM): hmm TioJ (10:28:39 PM): as much as i would like to impale ellen pompeo on my erect penis, i would not like her and HFA to stick needles into my erect penis TioJ (10:29:29 PM): hey, penis blood! TioJ (10:29:38 PM): "congratulations. you're flaccid" TioJ (10:29:47 PM): "never thought i'd be so happy to hear that." TioJ (10:37:06 PM): heh that's shitty TioJ (10:37:19 PM): she should have asked to be excused or something TioJ (10:37:20 PM): WTF TioJ (10:38:03 PM): whoa, was that an indian doctor extra? TioJ (10:40:53 PM): umm, yeah, did nobody see that dr. ellen and dr. patrick dempsey coming? TioJ (10:46:28 PM): nothing she couldn't reveal? TioJ (10:46:45 PM): what if she whips out a flaccid cock? would you wanna know that, blackt0r 2? TioJ (10:47:36 PM): Seattle! TioJ (10:49:24 PM): frat cockt0r fucked up TioJ (10:49:30 PM): and here's syphillis girl! TioJ (10:49:53 PM): i remember her being a lot hotter last year TioJ (10:51:54 PM): and she doesn't have the magenta scrubs anymore TioJ (10:56:49 PM): LOL frat cockt0r and sypillis girl caught by dr. izzie! TioJ (10:59:14 PM): hey this episode didn't suck! TioJ (10:59:34 PM): five young doct0rs responsible for five young lives! TioJ (10:59:42 PM): nothing short of a miracle! TioJ (11:00:00 PM): rosanna arquette guest stars! TioJ has left the chat room.

Credibility Check

CNN can go to hell.

Thanks for not mentioning this kind of important fact, CNN assclowns. Let's gloss all this shit over, please. Cindy Sheehan is so yesterday.

Atheists behave.

The George Washington Thanksgiving Declaration

WHEREAS, It is the duty of all nations to acknowledge the providence of Almighty God, to obey His will, to be grateful for His benefits, and humbly to implore His protection and favor;

WHEREAS, Both the houses of Congress have, by their joint committee, requested me "to recommend to the people of the United States a day of public thanksgiving and prayer, to be observed by acknowledging with grateful hearts the many and signal favors of Almighty God, especially by affording them an opportunity peaceably to establish a form of government for their safety and happiness:"

Now, therefore, I do recommend and assign Thursday, the 26th day of November next, to be devoted by the people of these States to the service of that great and glorious Being who is the beneficent author of all the good that was, that is, or that will be; that we may then all unite in rendering unto Him our sincere and humble thanks for His kind care and protection of the people of this country previous to their becoming a nation; for the signal and manifold mercies and the favorable interpositions of His providence in the course and conclusion of the late war; for the great degree of tranquility, union, and plenty which we have since enjoyed; for the peaceable and rational manner in which we have been enable to establish constitutions of government for our safety and happiness, and particularly the national one now lately instituted' for the civil and religious liberty with which we are blessed, and the means we have of acquiring and diffusing useful knowledge; and, in general, for all the great and various favors which He has been pleased to confer upon us.

And also that we may then unite in most humbly offering our prayers and supplications to the great Lord and Ruler of Nations and beseech Him to pardon our national and other transgressions; to enable us all, whether in public or private stations, to perform our several and relative duties properly and punctually; to render our National Government a blessing to all the people by constantly being a Government of wise, just, and constitutional laws, discreetly and faithfully executed and obeyed; to protect and guide all sovereigns and nations (especially such as have show kindness to us), and to bless them with good governments, peace, and concord; to promote the knowledge and practice of true religion and virtue, and the increase of science among them and us; and, generally to grant unto all mankind such a degree of temporal prosperity as He alone knows to be best.

--George Washington - October 3, 1789

Happy Turkey Day.

And just in time for Thanksgiving Dinner, a big, steaming bowl of Degener-ocrat shit!

YUMMY!

Hope I didn't ruin your appetite. I was gonna post a picture of the scatological variety, but then realized that a healthy handful of the SHoP's hits came from my own browser. And I don't wanna look at that crap. Literally.

So instead of actual feces, the SHoP brings to you the next best thing! Degener-ocrats!

Senator says Bush needs to depoliticize Iraq debate

Holy Jesus. Again with these degenerate ignoramuses pointing out the Republican specks in our eyes while not seeing the democrud logs in theirs? What's wrong with you people? I pray to God this is some joke being orchestrated by the RNC and the VRWC. And for the last time, I want in!

The reason for this post is two-fold:

1) A big, giant, Golden Bear howdy to all those alums who have found this blog through calcafe, which is bound to be a huge waste of time, but more and more of my fellow alums have been signing up and then trying to get me to sign up. WTF. And as punishment? I will now send you all the conservative goodness which you've missed since you and I went to school together.

2) Your SHoP Overlords (and one Overlady) love pointing out when degener-ocrats have these helpful suggestions for Republicans. Does nobody outside the right-wing blogosphere see that their own advice is so much more effectively applied to their own political tactics? Sounds odd to ask it, but which party is more likely to subscribe to the the By Any Means Necessary mindset to achieve their political goals? It sure as fuck ain't mine.

all my love,
Jihad Jimmy, Minister of War Crimes and Chief Defender of the Faith

Hah, dumbasses...

French president, backed by poll, pushes for more diverse TV shows after riots

When did the French all turn into retards? No, it's not rhetorical, I really want to know.

CIA Factbook

Stumbled upon an interesting website today while taking a look at the interesting male/female birthrates of China. Then saw something worrisome...

Open two windows/tabs of your browser and take a look, side by side, at:

The US
and
China

Take a look at the "Economy" section for both.

Ugh.

Don't you dumb-holes have anything better to be doing?, Part III

PREVIOUSLY ON THE SHoP...

Don't you dumb-holes have anything better to be doing?
Don't you dumb-holes have anything better to be doing?, Part II

THE FOLLOWING TAKES PLACE BETWEEN 2:00 PM AND 4:00 PM.

EVENTS OCCUR IN REAL TIME.

---

The best part about roman numerals in your title? Sometimes you don't even have to hit the Backspace key...

Vatican says active gays not welcome in priesthood

In order from has most right to has least right, here is the pecking order for people to voice an opinion about this.

Pope Benedict XVI
Cardinals
Bishops
[update time="1509"]Non-Gay Seminarians
Gay Seminarians
Non-Gay Catholic Priests
Gay Catholic Priests[/update]
Non-Gay Other Religious Vocation
Gay Other Religious Vocation
Catholic SHoP Overlords (and one Catholic SHoP Overlady)
Non-Gay Devout Catholics
Gay Devout Catholics (Yes, it's possible)
Non-Gay Non-practicing Catholics
Gay Non-practicing Catholics
Non-Catholic SHoP Overlord
Non-Gay Non-Catholics
Gay Non-Catholics

Nevermind if their opinions and feelings are correct. This is the order in which the world's opinions should be considered. If Catholicism was a stupid democracy (and it isn't, check the posts in the recap atop this post), then votes should be weighted to reflect this graduation. [update time="1509"]Switched the seminarians and ordained priests around as already ordained priests don't need to worry about this.[/update]

And really, Non-Catholic votes would be weighted with a big, fat, fucking ZERO. Maybe even a negative one. But don't fucking tempt us.

So before you go spouting off to your Catholic friends, or in the Op-Ed section in the paper, or on your blog of rage with some more mind-vomit, make sure you know your place. If you need help determining just how far down the Priority Ladder you are, let us know! We'll be happy to help!

I don't complain about how the Degenerocratic Party is run. Because it ain't any of my business. Try to wrap your Little Brains around that one and take a hint.

Jihad Jimmy, Chief Defender of the Faith

Wait a second...

Idiots in San Francisco ban all guns, yet they do this. Leave it to the LIbEral media to gloss over the obvious fact that a "gun ban", as SF recently passed, should obviate the need for bullet-proof vests...or are they really convinced that a gun ban in a single city would really work? Retards, all of them. Stupid is as LIbEral does.

funny link dumpage!

Before I forget: ha ha stanfurd!

Christmas Lights
Before this starts making all the linkdumps, maybe some of you will be able to say "I saw it on the SHoP first!"

Eye Direction and Lying

20 Things Every Assclown Must Do Before He Dies

and from the last link, this list of annoying baseball fans... Bane of the Ballpark

Life Comes at You Fast No, LMHBrent. Get your mind out of the Stanfurd.

Animated GIFs I like the one at the right. Like you needed to be told that. I think this'll see many SHoPpings...

Wow. Lotsa cool GIFs. Here's two more.


OK time for work now. The natives are restless.

Jihad Jimmy, Minister of War Crimes and Chief Defender of the Faith

Cry me a River you football-fumbling, interception-throwing PIG-EFFER

We're gonna lose Big Game. I can feel it.

excerpt from Cal starting Levy over Ayoob against Stanford Courtesy of MwHCock. U$C spelling correction mine.
Ayoob acknowledged his confidence is shot, and he hasn't dealt well with booing from Cal's fans at Memorial Stadium. His mechanics have suffered as well: After an incompletion against U$C, an exasperated Tedford pointed out a fundamental flaw in Ayoob's footwork on the sideline.

On a related note, those of you who picked the Under for the Big Game Spread all won (see also here). The spread as it was released this last sunday was Stanfurd +4.

Go Bears! Beat the Cardinul!

Jihad Jimmy
Commissioner, SHoP Department of Recreational Sport (Non-nude)

So much tard control to do, but so little time...

Saw this article on my yahoo! News headlines... Democratic hawk urges Iraq pullout and the best two quotes are placed right next to each other for conservative blogging convenience. A sign I should post about it, perhaps?

excerpt from Democratic hawk urges Iraq pullout

Murtha, a defense hawk, decorated Vietnam War veteran and retired Marine colonel, responded with a reference to the draft deferments that kept Cheney out of Vietnam. "I like guys who got five deferments and (have) never been there and send people to war, and then don't like to hear suggestions about what needs to be done," Murtha said. Senate Democratic leader Harry Reid of Nevada accused the White House of "a weak, spineless display of politics at a time of war" with its campaign against its Iraq-policy critics.

Hmmph. First off, Colonel Murtha, that's what politicians do on either side of the aisle. Left, Right, Republican, or Degenerocrat. I'm guessing you've never dealt with a highway construction project-- does that mean you should never vote for transportation legislation? (A good, general argument, btw. There's a little bit of Mark N in all of us.)

Second, Senator Reid, our "weak, spineless display of politics at a time of war" really is only in response to the Degener-ocrats strong, resolved, and tactless display of politics at a time of war. Did you even think about what you were saying before you said it? Do any of you degener-ocrats think anymore before opening your mouths?

doo dee doo... [cough]fucksegues![/cough]

It's Big Game, Citizen SHoPper Golden Bears!!! The latest dust-up from the flagship campus on our rugged eastern foothills is a doozy! I've been tracking it from the Cal Patriot, who is run by yet another filipino conservative blogger. Heh.

Some student is pissed that an advisor called her a racial epithet off-campus at the apartment complex in which they both live. Now the degenerate affirmative action groups on campus are citing this as a hostile environment to underrepresented minorities.

I'd like to point out that I and LMHBrent and the Cal Patriot all are "underrepresented minorities" as Filipinos. What a crock of Leftist shit. And stop printing ballots in Tagalog already. We can all read english better than a lot of native-born Americans.

Anycrap, rarely will I call a Jihad on something/somebody...

---

PREVIOUSLY ON THE SHoP...

A practical application of guerilla Republicanism
Posse Up, Citizen SHoPpers

THE FOLLOWING TAKES PLACE BETWEEN 2:00 PM AND 3:00 PM.

EVENTS OCCUR IN REAL TIME.

---

...but this time they're just asking for it. Go check out the Cal Patriot, or, because you're Lazy-Assed Citizen Temporary Associate Troll Engineer, just wait for me to post the relevant links for your convenience.

No, screw that! I'm not doing it this time! One of these days, Hillary's Thought Police are gonna come banging down my door, pull me off of a naked Keira Knightley, throw a coat on me and haul me away. And then how will you find these links?

I'm not posting the links. No way. Stop looking at me like that.

Aww shucks.

You know I can't say No to you guys...

On Racial Insults
Don't Give In
HateGate: Day 8 (Nice title, btw. Notice the "yay!"... is it a filipino thing, I wonder?)

BAMN-blog: http://uchostileclimate.blogspot.com/

What a shitty blog. And it spells out SHCUCS. How retarded. A little more thought could've yielded "Stop the Hostility-ness at the University of California Kovert Society" or something like that. Citizen SHoPpers, comment your suggestions below.

Anyway, that's not the Jihad I had in mind. Go troll this stupid BAMN blog. You wanna give these little shits a taste of the real world? You wanna introduce them to the unshielded politics of the non-Berkeley arena? Here's your chance.

Tell 'em Jihad Jimmy sent you.

I got us started... here's my comment before it likely gets removed..

my comment on this loser post
You Leftist Thought Policing Ignoramus. You definitely don't know a single thing about Free Speech. It starts with Free Thought. If somebody is unfortunate enough to get branded with your tag of "racist", that really is his/her own choice until the thought manifests itself in discriminatory action. Thank you for taking yet another step towards destroying my alma mater.

Fun stuff, huh?

Go Bears, Beat Fuck the Cardinul

Jihad Jimmy
Commissioner, SHoP Department of Recreational Sport (Non-nude)

Taking a Dump for you

Taking several, actually... ain't linkdumps great?

Tio Jaime's Gorillamask.net picks!
Car with attached trailer jumps a ramp (good shit)
50 things girls want guys to know (read in conjunction with SHoP post from yesterday)
Dancer Falls Video
Granny Gamer (that's cool! mine just likes to gamble. check out the Old Grandma Hardcore blog mentioned by her grandson here)

Tio Jaime's Attu Sees All picks!
Past Life Analysis
Work Well With Others (OK SixH, this doesn't say a lot for MIT engineering if they're not stressing the importance of a stabilizing tail. Also, I just wanna see the video of somebody's fly-airplane that strikes the tip and sets somebody's curtains on fire. Heh.)
You wanna piss off shitantics?

Tio Jaime's entensity.net picks!
Ass Rocket (semi-NSFW)
Yay for puppies! (You like puppies? Who doesn't?)
wacky college kids

Tio Jaime's EHOWA picks!
Not Mrs. Right
Something for you Female Citizen SHoPpers. All 2 of you.
street sign
Yeah. Western Civilization isn't any more advanced than the middle east. Right.

Throw these back, Mr. Sandman...

PREVIOUSLY ON THE SHoP...
Flighty San Francisco Women, or How I Learned to Stop Worrying and Love M---- whoa whoa whoa, hold on there...
Three Simple Words: I AM GAY
UPDATE: Retarded Craigslist Golddigger!
No problemo.
Hi! We're San Franciscans! We're tolerant of homosexuality, bestiality, necrophelia, white-bashing, man-bashing, and Catholic-bashing!
Yay for lonely and socially retarded San Franciscans!
All I Wanna Do
Hi! I have no discernable male genitalia!
uber-post
And you all wonder why Tio Jaime complains about Bay Aryan single women?

THE FOLLOWING TAKES PLACE BETWEEN 2:00 PM AND 3:00 PM.

EVENTS OCCUR IN REAL TIME.

---

I'm sure you've picked up on it, but Tio Jaime isn't really in a yay-for-the-fairer-sex mood right now. Not sure exactly why, I had a good weekend woman-wise...

Are you an architect with a foreign accent? - 30
(rhothetaphi.org mirror here)
Wow! You're shallow and illogical! Why am i not surprised you want to try to make yourself smarter w/o the actual effort and pain of learning, but instead trying to learn by some stupid far-fetched osmosis? And lemme guess, you want a sexy sounding accent, right? You won't want some engrish accented oriental architect. How about a Canadian architect? How aboot that, eh?

Shallow whore.

Help! I keep meeting Republicans! - 24
(rhothetaphi.org mirror here)
You must be the unluckiest little whore in all of the bay area, because HFS you're surrounded by Leftist limp-wrists. But you want somebody who looks like a republican but votes like a dirty hippie? You poor dumbfuck of a woman.

I especially like how you want somebody who's too much of a pussy to actually carry through with the "moving-to-canada" threat. Nice job. When you want to completely satisfy your mentally retarded libido, I hope you've saved some of those republican phone numbers.

New Model, Just Released - 32 (oakland lake merritt / grand)
(rhothetaphi.org mirror here)
I know she's trying her hardest to be Charming (which goes very far in Tio Jaime Nation), but this just comes off as vehicular manslaughterly irritating. I just want to test drive her. C'est tout.

come inside my warm, black box - 25 (marina / cow hollow)
(rhothetaphi.org mirror here)
I liked this post title. Didn't read the rest of the ad too carefully...

posting title: [go easy on capitals] - 24 (emeryville)
(rhothetaphi.org mirror here)
do you know how annoying your ad was?

do you honestly think that anybody read through the whole thing?

could you have at least posted a naughty pic of yourself and maybe your cleavage?

do you realize just how ashamed i am that you have a mac?

Innocent Looking... With a Secret - 31
(rhothetaphi.org mirror here)
Oh, one of you again? What the fuck could you possibly know about quantum physics? Can you even do simple 2-dimensional kinematics?

[update time=2022]
Secretary from work found this CL post for me a few days ago, in an attempt to find a suitable Tio-Jaime-woman... my comments were in red, but our scanner only did greyscale


click thumbnails to enlarge in new window
[/update]

This gets its own post.

Too important to let you wonderful Citizen SHoPpers marginalize because it was gonna be appended to the end of this post.

Go Bears, Beat the Cardinul!

Jihad Jimmy
Commissioner, SHoP Department of Recreational Sport (Non-nude)

[update time="1052" source="hotsaucelive.com"]
One more. Found this at hotsaucelive

Ode to the Nice Guys

bgcolor="burlywood" because this is the biggest crock of shit outside of shitantics. What can Brown do for you?

So, until those girls are found, I propose a toast to all the nice guys. You know who you are, and I know you're sick of hearing yourself described as ubiquitously nice. But the truth of the matter is, the world needs your patience in the department store, your holding open of doors, your party escorting services, your propensity to be a sucker for a pretty smile. For all the crazy, inane, absurd things you tolerate, for all the situations where you are the faceless, nameless hero, my accolades, my acknowledgement, and my gratitude go out to you. You do have credibility in this society, and your well deserved vindication is coming.

Read the whole thing, goddamit. My counter-rant will mean so much more that way. while i agree that this is a good idea and a valiant attempt at shedding light on one of the growing problems with single women, really it boils down to this:

BFD. So we get a toast, we get a tribute? Who the fuck wants that?

What nobody knows is that this allegedly enlightened "chick", after writing this went out and took it doggy-style from the alcoholic who didn't call her back two weeks ago. And what were us nice guys doing? Playing GTA in the comfort of our celibate-cells? Wonderful. And really, did a "chick" even write this? To be able to fully encompass the grief which is being a "nice guy" is too much for the common woman to understand. They're too busy taking it doggy-style from alcoholics. Some dude wrote this between GTA missions.

Gimme a fucking break. You wrote us an Ode? You know how much shit nice guys go through because they're tricked into believing that you want to be friends? Way too goddam much! You know how much Halo I could've played instead of helping my hot, butterface neighbor with her goddam homework? Sure, I got to check out her low-rise jeans, but again: BFD.

My advice to us single men out there-- stop thinking about it. Stop trying to figure out exactly why she's fucking the guy who stole her car and confiding in you about it like you're her goddam sister. Women want to be treated like shit. Nevermind what they say, pay attention to what and more importantly who they do.

Don't try to be nice to the stupid woman, that's futile. Instead try to realize the truth.

Women like to be treated like shit.

Then you'll see it is not the other assholey alcoholic that is giving it to her doggy-style, but yourself.
[/update]

It's the LinkDump-osphere, Stupid!

On open letter to the Democrats
I love these. One of these days, I'm gonna post a link to the Peggy Noonan article which may even be titled something very similar. Got a hard copy of the Noonan article (from opinionjournal.com?) from my hot, gun-toting, butterface neighbor. And no, she doesn't read the SHoP.

http://gorillamask.net/rooffall.shtml
Oh this is great. I hate skateboarders. And bikers. And pedestrians. And California drivers.

Yearbook joke most likely to offend
Am I supposed to feel sorry for this kid? Because I don't. And don't get your panties in a bunch with that "not all muslims are exploda-muslims" boolsheet. The minute that jungle Filipinos stop eating dogs is the minute the "tio jaime eats dogs" joke ceases to be funny.

No I take that back. That joke's always gonna be goddam funny.

On a related note, please to be visiting our Cal-Stanfurd Big Game tailgate party! MwHCock will be deep-frying a turkey, and Filipino SHoP Overlords Tio Jaime and LMHBrent will have a Dog-B-Que! Special Guest: Michelle Malkin!

Georgia! Then Tio Jaime's pup, is now fullgrown
and lives w/Tio Jaime's sister in LA

click to enlarge in new window

Heh. I'm just kidding. I don't think LMHBrent is gonna be able to make it up for Big Game this year. He's down in LA. Right next to disneyland, I think...

Go Bears, Beat the Cardinul,
Tio Jaime
Commissioner, SHoP Department of Recreational Sport (Non-nude)

I am sure he will be a good student. At the University of Texas at Austin. In Texas.

Was going through the referrer logs, instead of playing GTA:San Andreas... found a site visit from some high-up muckety-muck at Berkeley. If the links below don't work (and they might not, check out SHoP visitor #23,022 in the link in the counter if they don't).

Never mind that Texas probably wouldn't take me because Berkeley's precious College of Engineering consumed my soul and crapped it out in a convenient paper form with Grey Davis's signature. Lucky for me, I bought a diploma frame so it looks presentable...

No Zoo? No GTA:SA? Oh it's SHoP chat time!

10:22 PM TioJ: HOLY FUCKING SHIT TioJ: http://www.sitemeter.com/default.asp?action=stats&site=s12SixHertz... TioJ: OFFICE OF THE PRESIDENT SixH: you gotta be fucking kidding me SixH: send me the link again TioJ: http://www.sitemeter.com/default.asp?action=stats&site=s12SixHertz... SixH: it gives me a default TioJ: its our fourth most recent hit SixH: hahahaa SixH: berkeley president? SixH: HAHAHAHA TioJ: i'm not sure how the office of the president found this post 10:25 PM TioJ: probably from cal patriot TioJ: and we have a chancellor on campus, not a president... SixH: jeebus, for the first minute, I thought you were talking about the POTUS. SixH: give me a friggin' heart attack. TioJ: oh sorry SixH: I wouldn't have known to be scared as shit or proud as hell. TioJ: oh dude, if the president ever visited the SHoP, that'd be so fucking rad SixH: hehe SixH: yah TioJ: i bet he'd 1) invite us over to the white house to watch football or for his super bowl party or something TioJ: and then 2) he'd "accidentally" have smithantics subject to some Leftist Thought Police Re-education TioJ: ha ha SixH: hahaah SixH: And introduce you to his daughters. TioJ: i'd be Ok w/that TioJ: he could probably get me into Texas for grad school TioJ: i've heard a lot of good things about Texas civil engineering SixH: that'd be a rad recommendation TioJ: Dear University of Texas at Austin, TioJ: This is your President. TioJ: Please let my buddy James go to your fine, fine engineering school. TioJ: Please to be teaching him the finer points of engineering things in a civil manner. 10:30 PM TioJ: I am sure he will be a good student. TioJ: At the University of Texas at Austin. TioJ: In Texas. TioJ: Yee-haw Texas. TioJ: This is the President. TioJ: Love, TioJ: The President

On a somewhat related note, the President, First Lady, the First Daughters, or their representatives are cordially invited to a tailgate before the Cal-Stanfurd Big Game this saturday in Palo Alto, CA on The Farm.

Go Bears, Beat the Cardinul!

Jihad Jimmy, Minister of War Crimes and Chief Defender of the Faith

Some of the best shit you're not reading because you're here right now looking for pics of Elisha Cuthbert

PREVIOUSLY ON THE SHoP...

Great Vengeance and Furious Anger, I and II

THE FOLLOWING TAKES PLACE BETWEEN 4:00 PM AND 5:00 PM.

EVENTS OCCUR IN REAL TIME.

---

And if you really wanna twist your noodle, figure this one out: Tio Jaime worked in a mention of porn, but where'd the boobies go?

Iraq Gun Porn: Which Guns Suck, Which Guns Rock

For my money, all guns rock. But read the article, you'll like it. Especially the high morale, confidence of our troops, and oh let's not forget the 20-1 kill ratio.

Here's some more, this time from your second favorite Conservative Filipino blogger...

DUMB MSM EUPHEMISM OF THE DAY

...and if you're LMHBrent, I understand if you like Michelle Malkin (nee Maglalang) better than your SHoP Overlord Tio Jaime because she has filipina boobies instead of filipino man-boobies. Well really, I can't blame any of you Citizen SHoPpers for desiring the Sex from your Tia Michelle more than you would your Tio Jaime. Shit, I sure would. But boobies do not a blog make. The F-word more often does a blog make. And i'm not talking about "Filipino". And even if I was, I'd still have one over Tia Michelle there as well. (TJ-- That didn't quite make as much sense as I intended. I meant to say that having boobs doesn't necessarily make a blog, but saying "fuck" gives you a better chance. "Filipino" isn't the f-word, but I say that more than Michelle Malkin anyway. Notice how I refrained from saying "good blog" as she's Michelle Malkin and we're just some choadstains who like to use the F-word.)

One last one, and this time from one of Jihad Jimmy's favorite newest reads...

On Racial Insults

If I'm correct, the Engineering advisor I reference in the comments had students last names A-De, which definitely grabs me, and should also have grabbed LMHBrent... did I get the letters right, LMHB?

Jihad Jimmy, Minister of War Crimes and Chief Defender of the Faith

Attention SHoPpers! Nobody-Gives-A-Fuck Special on Aisle Clinton!

Well this isn't true. I still give a fuck. My ex very deftly pointed out once that I'm a republican stuck in the 90s. So any chance I can get to remind you Degener-ocrats out there just how wonderfully you fucked over the prestige of our White House oh heck yes I'll definitely take.

Clinton tells Gulf Arabs to spread the wealth

Leave it to a Degener-ocrat to 1) tell people who are as rich and even richer then himself to self-destructively and counter-intuitively jump onto the politics of wealth redistribution, 2) assume that his self-appointed moral high-ground has reciprocity in a non-Judeo-Christian culture, and 3) wonder why everybody, everywhere isn't eternally and orally grateful for his advice and counsel.

Did I lose a lot of you shitantickers back there? There's no real way to simplify that, so you Little Brain Degenerates over there at your blog of rage will just have to make do and take it on good faith that we're more logical, more educated, and in general smarter than you.

How're those Sac State tuition receipts working out for you? Did you scotch tape 'em together and put 'em in a diploma frame?

Anycrap, back to the Clin-tard and his wacky exploda-muslim buddies... There's a reason you don't have "a benevolent dictator of all the Middle East". Here's a hint for you Citizen SHoPpers who have been waiting patiently over the weekend for more SHoP goodness: two syllables, starts with I, rhymes with Schmizzlam

Jihad Jimmy, Minister of War Crimes and Chief Defender of the Faith

Who'da Thunk?

Pulled this quiz off of the blog of a friend from college. She's a socialist, check out her quiz results. Hopefully blogger won't take a huge dump on this seemingly shittily written quiz result HTML...

Did I mention that back in school I was the token Republican most of the time?

Anycrap, yes, the results won't vary much from other quizzes we've had here on the SHoP, but this one has a few cool graphs. You can see yourself in comparison to given political ideologies, famous people (and what kind of loser gives an eff how adam sandler stands politically?), and even voting results from this last presidential election.

How'd that turn out for you again?

Fri-dee!!!
Tio Jaime

You are a Social Conservative (38% permissive) and an... Economic Conservative (80% permissive) You are best described as a: Republican Link: The Politics Test on OkCupid Free Online Dating Also: The OkCupid Dating Persona Test

Welcome Hot Saucers!

Although I like the free educational periodical which is making its way to my apartment building's magazine table in lovely Oakland, the other SHoP Overlords (and one Overlady) will likely glean more sexual pleasure from the hits we're getting from hotsaucelive.com

And because I guess we're all Lazy-Assed Blog Internet Admins at heart, we'll simply point you towards the bio/recap in the upper-right corner we wrote last time we felt the need.

Take a look around. If you like your HotSauce, you just might like the SHoP.

Huge SHoP thanks to Jeff over @ HSL for the educational periodical. And the traffic.

Tio Jaime (aka Jihad Jimmy)
SHoP Overlord

A Beautiful Mind

Oops, SixH did it again!

He drew me into a shitantics flame war. Goddamit.

Well that's fine, I'll go ahead and break my own SHoP Overlord precedent and post a link, if only because I know you good Citizen SHoPpers won't go over there. With exception of one SHoP Overlord and one Citizen SHoPper... you know who you are.

Here's my comment as it appears. For now. You know how these Leftists feel about censoring differing opinions.

Tio Jaime's comment on the shitantics post

kapt. kunt, of all the hypocritical, Leftist horseshit i've heard here in the bay area, your calling somebody Else a "little sniping pussy" reigns surpreme. at least he fucking does It well (this time, at Least). what do you do? you come over to the house of pain, throw some anti-gay epithets in A feeble, Ill-prepared attempt to out-homophobe us, threaten physical violence behind the Safety And Convenience of your aol dial-up and your vintage 33.6 modem, and in general demonstrate your lack of cognitive ability with your mental gems like "my balls, their foreheads! ha!" hilton, scott Underhill, and chavez? they all snipe well. and they're funny and concise. i like being sniped by them-- yes, despite the ideological differences-- because that cat-and-mouse is some funny shit. you? it's like cat-and-rock. not very funny. Not at all entertaining. smithantickers: no beef w/the rest of you, for the reasons described above. this should be evident in this apolitical comment. and once again, sixhertz you Team-killing fucktard, thanks for drawing me into this latest flame war. tio j

Seems like something's missing? You looking for a running Tio Jaime gag? It's there, Citizen SHoPper...

Tio Jaime
SHoP Ministry of Cryptology and Jennifer Connelly Appreciation Society

[hotchick]

click to enlarge in new window
[/hotchick]

Tio Jaime's House of Dumbass

PREVIOUSLY ON THE SHoP...

Ok this show fucking sucks, this doesn't even deserve SHoP billing.
i hope your kids murder you with shotguns when they come to grips with how assholey you made them
and maybe the little gaghan fucker will die
no shit your legs aren't sore, you're fucking worthless
that's why you don't let your little demon-children make the fucking decisions when $1,000,000 is at goddam stake
and now i'm laughing at carissa gaghan, or he can't speak english, but maybe he speaks the universal language of Selling Your Children Into Slavery

THE FOLLOWING TAKES PLACE BETWEEN 11:00 PM AND 12:00 AM.

EVENTS OCCUR IN REAL TIME.

---

In my defense, shitty AIM froze and crashed and I lost the entire two-hour 3am Criticism. I wasn't the dumbass, but it was just AIM which was extra shitty last night.

So the two hours I spent watching Tues-dee's tape of TAR:Shitty Family Edition will culminate in this Cal post...

Go Bears, Beat the Spread Trojans!

These shirts will be on sale at this Saturday's game...

And a warm SHoP Golden Bear Overlord greeting from Tio Jaime and LMHBrent to CalTechGirl as well as SixH/TioJ first grade friend, U$C Trojan and sometimes Citizen SHoPper Sabi V!

Go Bears,
Tio Jaime
Commissioner, SHoP Department of Recreational Sport (Non-nude)

Sandman, I'm so alone / Don't have nobody to call my own / Please turn on your magic beam / Mr. Sandman, bring me a dream.

Was showering and getting myself all dolled up for today when I remembered a dream I had last night...

The UESC Lorelai Gilmore got four or five tickets for being parked in the red zone at Stern Hall from Sunday through Thursday. I was pissed.

Happy Thurs-dee,
Tio J

Same California, Different Day...

Don't think for a second that we're upset about the special election yesterday. Go read any post from the past year, you'll see that we're at the same level of indignation and rage. Why is today any different? Because our LIbEral state voted down common sense initiatives?

BFD.

I wasn't surprised. Typical of Califorons to enthusiastically vote in a new Governor and then enthusiastically deprive him of the tools needed to accomplish real reform. I have just the lyrics for you...

California, here we come / Right back where we started from

Anyway, read on. Some good links here. Check them all out. And then comment to show comprehension. Shitantickers: copy-and-paste your favorite chickenhawk argument into the comments below!

you and your dad should join my Silicon Valley Militia once hillary gets elected
TioJ: go check out thomasgalvin.blogspot.com TioJ: good post about san francisco and their imbalanced population TioJ: you and your dad should join my Silicon Valley Militia once hillary gets elected 9:10 PM SixH: LOL TioJ: dude, i ain't kidding

Please take note, Citizen SHoPper: Comedic satire aside, I ain't.

He said that LIbErals are dangerous because of their belief that they are moral.

SixH: I'm reading the galvin opinion...very interesting SixH: Michael savage said something interesting today... SixH: I'm gonna try to recall it as best I can.... TioJ: did he talk about 13-year-old whores and [CENSORED]? SixH: LOL, no, that was yesterday. TioJ: LOL TioJ: that's just sick man. how could two grown men talk about something as degenerate as that? TioJ: well, outside of shitantics, i suppose SixH: He said that LIbErals are dangerous because of their belief that they are moral. SixH: When in fact, because they are the extreme opposite of Nazis, they are just as dangerous as they were. SixH: He continued on to say: Don't laugh at France's problems, because we're next. TioJ: i think we have time to laugh @ france TioJ: there's always time to laugh @ france SixH: Well, I'm gonna fuggin' laugh at France, and I hope they take San Franfreako next. TioJ: and motherfuckers, i'm looting! SixH: For all I care, the islamists can take prisoner all those freaks and torture them. 9:15 PM SixH: And I hope the president drags his feet, or uses napalm to bomb the whole gd city. TioJ: oh, my view from oakland is gonna be fucking sweet

We'll salvage our favorite strippers first...

Hopefully there'll be sufficient warning, I'll have a barbecue, and we can set off fireworks! If you all behave, Citizen SHoPper MwHCock will bring his turkey fryer!!!

aside from the fact that they were just following union voting guides?

SixH: http://vote2005.ss.ca.gov/Returns/prop/38.htm SixH: nimrods voted exactly opposite of me... SixH: except for 78 SixH: no for f*cking health care for illegals SixH: if the dumbasses had voted for 78, they'd have at least gotten SOME funding. TioJ: why would they vote down 78? TioJ: aside from the fact that they were just following union voting guides? SixH: because it's the alternative to 79, and supported by the drug companies

And now that I'm thinking about barbecue, it's hard to think of much else...

I'd put stickers around that said "SUCK A COCK, SAN FRANCISCO", but I think that'd just be encouraging them.

SixH: Do you ever get the urge to go downtown and yell, "YOU PEOPLE ARE GODDAM STUPID FUCKS!"?? TioJ: oh all the time TioJ: oh sweet Christ, all the time SixH: We should make stickers and stick them all over san francisco 9:20 PM TioJ: i've been meaning to do that SixH: "YOU PEOPLE ARE THE LAUGHING STOCK OF HISTORY" SixH: "SAN FRANCISCO BLOWS GOATS" TioJ: i was just gonna put up "http://sixhertz.blogspot.com" TioJ: oh i hope that shitantics freeway blogs SIXHERTZ IS A PUSSY TioJ: that's gonna be an assload of hits, my friend SixH: HAHAHAHA SixH: That'd be great free advertising. TioJ: any idiot can google "sixhertz" TioJ: and find your page SixH: I'd put stickers around that said "SUCK A COCK, SAN FRANCISCO", but I think that'd just be encouraging them. TioJ: LOL SixH: goddam hippie scum bastard whores. TioJ: GO SUCK A COCK ON THE GOLDEN GATE BRIDGE TioJ: fuck it, i'll just loot when the Big One hits TioJ: i'll be the guy with the gun SixH: a visually pleasing city should not be infested with such rotten filth. SixH: GODDAM SAN FRANCISCO! TioJ: by visually pleasing, do you mean the Zoo? SixH: GODDAM KTVU, KPIX, KGO, KRON! SixH: BASTARD WHORE NEWS STATIONS TioJ: i miss Stacey Hendler TioJ: she was HAWT SixH: http://a.abclocal.go.com/images/kgo/talent_stacey_hendler.jpg SixH: she is hot? TioJ: OK she was a few years ago SixH: ok, I gotta get my laundry... TioJ: and thanks for finding that pic... TioJ: stay tuned to the SHoP... TioJ: Fuck you very much, San Francisco! 9:25 PM SixH: it's a mystery to me why people do business there. TioJ: the zoo? SixH: I mean, they gotta be one of the most hostile places for business. TioJ: business, family TioJ: they hate both of those TioJ: it's only a matter of time before the City cannibalizes itself TioJ: can't hardly wait

So much to do in the near future... Gotta organize the SCV Militia! Gotta start up a podcast! Gotta play Halo! Gotta get the stereo in my truck fixed!

I'll start small. Gonna shower up, play some GTA:SA.

all my love,
Tio Jaime

Hot Chick, SHoP Overlords with Hot Chicks, and then Two SHoP Overlords

Perhaps the Ministry of Truth will be so kind as to remove content restrictions and thereby save Tio Jaime a lot of womanly dancing around subjects...

Whatever. Pics for you. If you're a munuvian still on dial-up, these may take a while to load... hopefully the thumbnails will suffice.

Liberalism, having lost its ability to advance by persuasion, increasingly relies on litigation.

11:10 PM TioJ: I found some No on 73 fliers in my neighborhood TioJ: what a bunch of LIbEral double-speak SixH: you know, I was thinking...even if by some miracle prop 73 passes, a bloody judge would strike it down. TioJ: yeah TioJ: one of my george will sig files... TioJ: Liberalism, having lost its ability to advance by persuasion, increasingly relies on litigation. SixH: You know, I'm so goddam pissed with liberals, I almost want 13 year old whores found dead in alleys with [censored time="1251" reason="SixH is a giant weenie who doesn't say what he means and vice versa" disposition_tio_j="Getting really fucking pissed, really fucking fast"]. TioJ: small price to pay TioJ: to make liberals mad TioJ: hell TioJ: i'd even impregnate a 13-year-old TioJ: raise the child to 13 TioJ: let her get pregnant TioJ: and have her get a back-alley abortion TioJ: just to make a point SixH: haha TioJ: OK i'd like to take back the "impregnate a 13-y-o" TioJ: because that's illegal TioJ: and wrong TioJ: even if it's like Emma Watson or something SixH: how did I know you were going to say that. 11:15 PM TioJ: once you figure out some basic Tio Jaime, you'll see that it's not that difficult an algorithm

And here's where the inside information would help. But for now, enjoy the vulgarity and the pics. I know i did!

note the Vicetivus Horn

TioJ: rereading that chick's e-mail TioJ: that's fucking hawt SixH: LOL, Shiraz's friend? TioJ: yessir SixH: haha TioJ: i should find a woman like that TioJ: and fuck my poo, now i'm excited about vegas 11:20 PM SixH: should be a crazy weekend... SixH: you gonna hog tie me and put me in a burlap sack? SixH: Whatever you do, just don't bash me on the head. TioJ: i'm gonna get a black hood and black robe and some electrodes TioJ: Welcome to the Hotel abu Grhaib TioJ: such a lovely place SixH: greaaatt SixH: haha SixH: has she emailed you yet? I think Shiraz sent out the email. TioJ: no, was she supposed to?' SixH: don't know for sure...will get back to you TioJ: http://static.flickr.com/28/61504768_1202db0c79_b.jpg TioJ: ooh yeah momma TioJ: note the Vicetivus Horn 11:25 PM SixH: LOL SixH: what's your flickr username? TioJ: oh fuck if i know TioJ: tiojaime? TioJ: lemme see TioJ: OK i think i just set up flickr.com/photos/tiojaime TioJ: WTF TioJ: i have another drunk picture like that... TioJ: http://static.flickr.com/31/49255530_1c0fed3de1_o.jpg TioJ: and oh yesh, don't worry, i'll change your face and shit...

And here's where SixH asks about the upcoming post which I'm still dutifully editing so as to preserve his precious freakin' privacy.

what a good fucking friend i am

12:10 AM SixH: ok, what did you post. TioJ: oh whoops, not posted yet TioJ: just our chat TioJ: w/pics SixH: ok, no pics of me, no real names, dude. You know the rules. :P SixH: no pics of shiraz either. SixH: or any of her friends. TioJ: pigfucker! why the fuck do you think i'm still up? because i'm editing the fucking post you fuckhole! SixH: go nuts with yourself, dickhead. TioJ: i know the fucking rules TioJ: why the fuck would I have forgotten? SixH: okay, ok, ok TioJ: goddamit, i need to find a new set of goddam friends who can stand having their fucking pics up on a goddam blog TioJ: holy fuck TioJ: you and trose alike TioJ: i'm tired and horny. gimme a break already SixH: Christ, dude. Need I remind you about what happens to employers who see others' blogs? SixH: ok, fair 'nuff TioJ: then don't fucking tell them! and if they find it, make it clear that that is your personal life and has no bearing on your professional life TioJ: and then change the post times so they can't see when you were posting on company time SixH: hah TioJ: and now? shit! TioJ: i have to put this outburst on the post because it's goddam funny! 12:15 AM TioJ: goddamit, why the fuck do you think i told you to fucking figure out the privacy settings on the flickr photo album? TioJ: i have an unedited photo of you and me and vegas skanks in my album TioJ: well holy fuck i figured it out myself TioJ: what a good fucking friend i am TioJ: your privacy is safe for yet another post SixH: See? Give a man a fishing pole.

Wrong thing to say. Hilarity ensues.

YOU CAN STICK THE FUCKING FISHING POLE UP YOUR ASS YOU LAZY FUCK
TioJ: YOU CAN STICK THE FUCKING FISHING POLE UP YOUR ASS YOU LAZY FUCK SixH: ROFL! TioJ: it's MY fucking album which i changed to accomodate my PIGFUCKER of a FRIEND TioJ: LOL SixH: hahaha

Enough hilarity for one night. Much engineering to do tomorrow. SixH, you're a krazy bastard and i want to shoot you, but holy shit I love ya to death, man...

Jihad Jimmy, Minister of War Crimes and Chief Defender of the Faith

[update time="1245"]

some archaelogist is gonna fucking find these chats

TioJ: fucking around w/the post SixH: aight TioJ: i thnk you'll like it SixH: I'm sure I will 12:35 AM TioJ: check out the post TioJ: one of these days TioJ: some archaelogist is gonna fucking find these chats TioJ: and it'll be the shakespeare of the 27th century or something TioJ: that's gonna be some fucking hilarious shit SixH: LOL, that line is CLASSIC. TioJ: holy fuck i'm moving to san diego-land TioJ: wow that last pic is very boob-centric 12:40 AM SixH: [CENSORED] She was one of Shiraz's roommies in college

[/update]

California state senators are retards.

Okay, someone explain to Ms. Romero the consequences of this (bottom of page) and if she's willing to accept them. It's one thing to be a liberal, but it's another thing altogether to be a liberal 'tard. California is full of the latter.

SixHertz House of Lazy-Assed Blog Admins!

Here's a SHoP classic for you...

SixHertz California Propositions Voting Guide

...courtesy of your SHoP Overlord SixHertz. Who is too lazy to repost his own shit on Election Day. But he was good enough to pressure me into crossing three California county lines so I can vote in Santa Clara County today. So when we wacky Leftist Californians pass Parental Notification (not even Permission, you leftist fuckups) and Redistricting, I can say that I was in on the action.

Jihad Jimmy, Minister of War Crimes and Chief Defender of the Faith

Burn, baby, burn...

Interesting article link gleaned from Mark Nicodemo...

Wake up, Europe, you've a war on your hands

Michael Savage has been predicting exactly this for some time, too. Independently? Beats me. I wonder when people are going to blame Bush for this. You KNOW it's coming (if it hasn't already).

late night adult chat SHoP party line

Do you wanna meet right-minded political junkies like yourself who believe in smaller government and a strong military? Meet singles from your area who want to party and talk ALL NIGHT LONG!!!

Dial 1-900-69-HERTZ to speak to hot and sweaty sexy Republicans who are waiting to talk to you!

Must be 18 or older

Visa, Mastercard, American Express, Discover, and Paypal accepted. Or at least buy Tio Jaime something off of his Wishlist.

thoooper!

1:20 AM TioJ: my [RACIAL INVECTIVE DEEMED INAPPROPRIATE FOR USE BY FILIPINO REPUBLICANS]! SixH: whatup, [RACIAL INVECTIVE DEEMED INAPPROPRIATE FOR USE BY PORTUGESE REPUBLICANS] TioJ: would you like a complimentary subscription to "Black Enterprise?" TioJ: i got spam offering a year's subscription for FREE TioJ: oh yay! SixH: thoooper! 1:40 AM TioJ: Ok it's xb0x0r time TioJ: this is all Bush's fault... TioJ: http://news.yahoo.com/s/nm/20051106/ts_nm/france_riots_dc SixH: oh of course. Anything related to muslims and arabs being unhappy is obviously the fault of neocons. SixH: just victims they are. TioJ: and well, this is a stretch, but Bush Lied... TioJ: http://sports.yahoo.com/mlb/news?slug=ap-angels-scioscia&prov=ap&type=lgns TioJ: and i'm surprised shitantics hasn't found this little bush-bashing tidbit... TioJ: http://weather.yahoo.com/forecast/USIN0624_f.html TioJ: this one... surprisingly not Bush's fault TioJ: but i'm still pissed about it... http://sports.yahoo.com/ncaaf/recap?gid=200511050060 1:45 AM TioJ: these news items from yahoo! just need Crazy Aunt Cindy Sheehan to start drumming up her retard-support SixH: I'm pretty sure they'll find a way to blame "BushCo" for the Monica Lewinski scandal. TioJ: i like how democrats pick and choose their special prosecutors TioJ: fitz? good! starr? evil! SixH: Finazi, 1:50 AM TioJ: finazi? SixH: nvm SixH: go play xbox TioJ: also bush's fault, but we'll forgive him for this: http://fotzo.blogspot.com/ TioJ: NSFW SixH: hey now.

If you're a discerning Citizen SHoPper, you'll ask yourself briefly, just who deemed certain racial invectives inappropriate for use? Well heck, wouldn't you know it's the very people who use that very same racial invective gratuitously...

Tio Jaime, Ministro de los Crimenes de Guerra y del Principal Defensor de la Fe

[update time="0240"]
Fucking SixH. Lemme play San Andreas already! No more naughty adult chat!

you sound like a liberal

2:15 AM TioJ: OK. new post up on SHoP. all i wanted to do was play GTA: San Andreas, man... TioJ: look what you made me do SixH: don't be hatin' SixH: you sound like a liberal SixH: blame me for everything SixH: you homo SixH: ;) TioJ: i'm gonna stick my balls on your forehead 2:20 AM SixH: you go ahead and do that, mr. underhill SixH: or Chavez, or steve, or Leila, or whoever the f*ck you are. TioJ: that chavez fucker is an annoying, deluded, uninformed mexi-fuckup [Yeah, I left that in there. And no, not all Mexi-dudes are Denegerate Fuckups. Just Chavez, off the top of my head. --TJ] TioJ: whatta fuckin' cheesedick SixH: what gets me is that these nimrods put the freeway blog signage up that says "bush lied, 2000 died" bullshit, yet they don't give a crap about the troops. In fact, wasn't it them that said republicans should be drafted? SixH: so what is it? Do they want the war to be prolonged, or not? SixH: moonbats. SixH: sacrifice sanity for the sake of consistency. SixH: or is it really consistency to begin with? SixH: is it....CRACK COCAINE? TioJ: not so much consistency as it is contrarianism TioJ: although i'm somewhat guilty of that as well... SixH: "i'm an anarchist! Let's take umbrage with...EVERYTHING!" TioJ: well shit, look at our Crazy Aunt Cindy! trying to snipe Hillary Clinton? TioJ: WTF? that makes no sense whatsoever SixH: by the way, let's smoke weed and stick it to the man! 2:25 AM SixH: yeah, well, let's just ignore her now. SixH: and she'll magically disappear! SixH: Cindy who? TioJ: no no no! it's more fun to remind the Left of how retarded a poster-child they chose! TioJ: they're embarassed by her now TioJ: so it's up to the Right to maintain the link SixH: I was speaking as a moonbat TioJ: oh, that makes more sense then SixH: isn't it ironic? SixH: don't ya think? TioJ: It's like sticking balls / On Tio Jaime's forehead SixH: Dean wants to play hide the salami

[/update]

Stupid Democrat Tricks!

PREVIOUSLY ON THE SHoP...

Educational Phoebe Cates-free Activity!, or: You can do magic / You can have anything that you desire
It's the 17 Hour Drive, Stupid! (part II)

THE FOLLOWING TAKES PLACE BETWEEN 8:00 AM AND 10:00 AM.

EVENTS OCCUR IN REAL TIME.

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My pleasant Fri-dee was interrupted by this article at the top of my yahoo! news headlines...

Thousands protest Bush in Argentina

Which reminded me of an old magic trick.

SHoP Magic Trick: "A Taste of Your Own Bush-Stumping Medicine"
Print article above, give to Democrud friend. Let him/her get panties in bunch over W. Now give Democrud friend printout of map below, ask them to point to Argentina.

ABRACADABRA, YOU LEFTIST HIPPIE BASTARD HUMPS!!!

click to enlarge in new window for printing

Kinda like watching reporters try to stump W on the 2000 presidential campaign all over again, isn't it? This isn't as cool as the 30-year time travelling magic trick in the SHoP recap above, but you'll still enjoy it. Almost as much as you'll enjoy the fact that most Americans won't be able to answer basic geography questions like "Where is Argentina?" Or more likely, they won't even care. Which makes this stupid protest all the stupider.

Check the quiz out here. I only got a 34. Which is good for an engineer, I guess...

No fair being married to some south american C.U.N.T. named Leila

Tio Jaime, Ministro de los Crimenes de Guerra y del Principal Defensor de la Fe

drunk wednes-dee post motheruckfers uyeah bitch can you feel that?

Found this in my inbox this morning. Post title is the Subject line of the e-mail. Apparently, I e-mailed it to myself after what was one of the most memorable Wednes-dees ever

Notice that alcohol impairs the accuracy of the typing, especially when a concerted effort is made to preserve the 70WPM. All these typos? Tio Jaime could've been a shitanticker...

All my love,
Jihad Jimmy, Minister of War Crimes and Chief Defender of the Faith

AlumniGlock = Jihad Jimmy, Cal Band Glockenspiel 1996-2000 CalGlock = Christine C, Cal Band Glockenspiel 2002(?)-present

12:42 AM AlumniGlock: hey AlumniGlock: i'm drunk CalGlock: yo CalGlock: hahahahah AlumniGlock: and i need your help on something AlumniGlock: fuck CalGlock: ok AlumniGlock: my neighbor just go tmad at me becuasei was yelling out of my aparment AlumniGlock: nfuck AlumniGlock: too l ate to call? CalGlock: yeah CalGlock: sleeping roomie and stuff CalGlock: just tell me online, hehe AlumniGlock: WTF AlumniGlock: OK CalGlock: awwww AlumniGlock: what ar the the three songs in the the hip hop cadence? CalGlock: fresh so clean AlumniGlock: i heard one of them at the strip club tonight CalGlock: next episode CalGlock: and move AlumniGlock: by who? CalGlock: i don't know :( CalGlock: you should check the perc website AlumniGlock: and shit, i've been more and more into filipina chicks lately... 12:45 AM CalGlock: lol AlumniGlock: yeah WTF? AlumniGlock: i always dated white chick CalGlock: hehehe AlumniGlock: ss CalGlock: I like white guys AlumniGlock: yeha why are filipnos so godam confused like that? CalGlock: lol AlumniGlock: never mind that all the white chick si've diated are FUCKED UP AlumniGlock: goddamit CalGlock: :( CalGlock: awwww AlumniGlock: STAY AWAY FROM WHITE CHICKS, CRHSTINE AlumniGlock: CHRISTINE CalGlock: LOL CalGlock: okay AlumniGlock: CHRISTINE? CalGlock: I will CalGlock: yep AlumniGlock: good AlumniGlock: good that i spelld the ta right AlumniGlock: and good that youre gonna stay away from FUCKED UP white chicks AlumniGlock: goddamit CalGlock: hehehe AlumniGlock: although this last one... she wasthis filipina from michigan? AlumniGlock: lived in SF AlumniGlock: worked for cingular AlumniGlock: and WTF, there are filipinos in michigan? AlumniGlock: i don't fuckin' know AlumniGlock: i'm so fucking confused sometims CalGlock: wow CalGlock: Well, we're everywhere AlumniGlock: i guess so... AlumniGlock: this filipina booty called me twice AlumniGlock: but i had to take my lola to the casino the next morning CalGlock: that's so cute, hehe AlumniGlock: does your lola gamble? AlumniGlock: because holy FUCK does mine gamble AlumniGlock: she's always asking me, "when are we going to the casino next?" AlumniGlock: holy shit, she's a fucking machine CalGlock: hehe CalGlock: my parents go a lot CalGlock: but they play nickels 12:50 AM AlumniGlock: yeah mea too AlumniGlock: dude,! christine! you should gamble! AlumniGlock: fulfill your filipino destiny CalGlock: I do, sometimes AlumniGlock: filipina destiny÷ AlumniGlock: ? CalGlock: Blackjack! AlumniGlock: Good! AlumniGlock: i'm so fucking proud of you AlumniGlock: and... i had like *19* drinks tonight? AlumniGlock: i lost track AlumniGlock: when are we gonna drink a/o gamble? CalGlock: I don't know CalGlock: when? AlumniGlock: WHENVER YOU GODDAM WANT, GLOCKENSPIEL AlumniGlock: and shit find me a nice filipina girl AlumniGlock: one who isn't too fucking crazy AlumniGlock: a litle crazy? that's OK AlumniGlock: one who is as crazy as my mom and sister? maybe not CalGlock: lol CalGlock: hehehe AlumniGlock: do you have any cousins? CalGlock: In the Philippines CalGlock: lots of em AlumniGlock: shit on me CalGlock: LOL AlumniGlock: OK AlumniGlock: what about white friends who wish they were filipina? AlumniGlock: any of those? 12:55 AM CalGlock: lol CalGlock: sorry CalGlock: not really AlumniGlock: goddamit christine AlumniGlock: that's one of your Charges, you know AlumniGlock: they don't tell you that @ silent walk AlumniGlock: bu tit is AlumniGlock: but it is AlumniGlock: "finding a suitable wife for alumnus glockenspiels" CalGlock: hahaha CalGlock: I can't even get myself a guy in the Cal Band!!!! AlumniGlock: NO NO NO AlumniGlock: FUCK calbandsmen AlumniGlock: they're all retards CalGlock: lol AlumniGlock: dude, you can do so much better than bandsmen CalGlock: hahaha CalGlock: maybeAlumniGlock: have you dated w/in the band? AlumniGlock: adn wasn't he a retard? AlumniGlock: i remember, when I was in band AlumniGlock: I was a retard CalGlock: LOL CalGlock: well, I kinda dated CalGlock: [CENSORED] CalGlock: two dates AlumniGlock: i can't even tell you whot aht motherfucker is AlumniGlock: i know maybe like 5 bandsmen? CalGlock: then he hooked up with the [CENSORED] CalGlock: who had a boyfriend CalGlock: wow, you're right, lol AlumniGlock: you, unger, that cymbals chick, that Kim Nguyen chick, and brad? CalGlock: yup CalGlock: soon, it might just be me 1:00 AM AlumniGlock: i'm so fucking drunk, i can barely feel my feet CalGlock: lol AlumniGlock: you going to regon? AlumniGlock: oregon? CalGlock: nope AlumniGlock: yeah fuck oregon CalGlock: liz AlumniGlock: it'll just be one weekend out of your life YOU'LL NEVER GET BACK AlumniGlock: christine, i'm so gdurnk AlumniGlock: drunk CalGlock: uhhh, yeah CalGlock: hehehe CalGlock: actually, I should go to bed CalGlock: because I'm sick AlumniGlock: yeah me too AlumniGlock: oh fuck! tyhat's not cool AlumniGlock: OK, well you made my blog AlumniGlock: Cal You Great! CalGlock: what's your blog? AlumniGlock: http://sixhertz.blogspot.com AlumniGlock: be careful! AlumniGlock: lotsa filipino republican ranting! CalGlock: heheh okay AlumniGlock: oh, and you're cute for a filipina, hippie, democrat CalGlock: close CalGlock: I'm a no party AlumniGlock: oh. i thought you were gonna say "i'm not filipina" AlumniGlock: scared the fuck out of me for a second there CalGlock: lol AlumniGlock: OK i'm gonna pass out now AlumniGlock: check the blog sometime tomorrow AlumniGlock: goodnihgt AlumniGlock: doogntihg AlumniGlock: goodnight CalGlock: lates

Tongue in cheek

Thank you Rosa Parks...in celebration of your outstanding life giving honor and integrity to the downtrodden people of color in this country, this post will celebrate that quiet dignity with a small sampling of modern black American music artistry!

Go on wit ya big ass! lemme see something
Tell ya little friend he can quit mean mugging
I'm lit and I don't care what no one thinks
But where the FUCK is the waitress at wit my drinks?!
My people outside and they can't get in
We gon' rush the back door and break em in
The owner already pissed cause we sorta late
But our time and our clothes gotta coordinate
Most girls lookin right some lookin a mess
That's why they spilling drinks all over ya dress
But Louie Vuitton bras all over your breasts
Got me wanting to put hickies all over ya chest-ahh
C'mon! we gon party tonight
Y'all use mouth to mouth bring the party to life
Don't be scurred, show another part of your life
The more drinks in your system the harder to fight!
-Ludacris

Ma showed up like "what's the hold up?"
Man know what get them wraps and roll up
I took a chick in the bathroom seeing what's poppin
You know what's on my mind, shirts off and panties dropping
Niggaz knocking on the door drunk, and silly
The girl said "can I be in yo video" I'm like "yeah!", "oh really?"
Now she naked strip teasing, me I'm just cheesing
She gave me a reason to be a damn heathen
Handled that, told ol' G, bring tha camera
Then I thought about, no footage while I ram her
Walked out the bathroom smiling, cats still whiling
Sharing the next room wit some girls lookin like they from an island


Stop, drop, KABOOM!, baby rub on ya nipples
Some call me Ludacris, some call me Mr. Wiggles
Far from little, make ya mammary glands giggle
Got 'em under control, the bowl of tender biddles
Doc-tor giggles, I can't stop until it tickles
Just play a little "D" and I'll make ya mouth dribble
Bits and Kibbles, got 'em all after the pickle
I swing it like a bat, but these balls are not whiffle
Hit 'em in triples, wit no strikes, stripes, or whistles
I ain't felt this good, since my wood lived off a thistle
Sippin' some ripple, I got quarters, dimes, and nickels
For shizzle dizzle, I'm on a track with the Big Snoop Dizzle
Let the Henny trickle, down the beat, wit a ghetto tempo
I done blazed the instrumental, laid it plain and simple
Getting brain in the rental, I done did it again
My eyes chinky, I'm wit Chingy, at the Holidae Inn
-Chingy and Snoop Dog

Feel proud that your work and the work of great black civil rights leaders have gone so far in advancing the cause of minorities and women everywhere! Fo' sho'!

This is kinda morbid, but I'll put a funny Tio Jaime twist to it...

Found a tip on Attu Sees All about a SF Chronicle series about suicide and the Golden Gate Bridge.

No, not suicidegirls (NSFW) although you should check that site out when you're not at work. Where it's not safe.

Anycrap, while I was happy this morning, having just read some articles about golden gate bridge jumpers now i'm kinda creeped out. I'm also convinced that a viable, structurally sound engineering/architectural solution exists that will preserve the view from the bridge and prohibit further suicides. By all means, do it.

Here's some stuff which will make nice, quick bloggy snippets, but not a whole post unto themselves...

excerpt from The Allure: Beauty and an easy route to death have long made the Golden Gate Bridge a magnet for suicides
Robert Blyther, a 27-year-old Navy veteran, flew from Virginia to San Francisco in December 1980 specifically to jump off the bridge to protest the election of Ronald Reagan as president.

You dumbass. WTF did you think was gonna happen? That Reagan would step down because some 27-year-old social retard was willing to sacrifice his life for some loser Democrud agenda? Moron. I hope there are still bits of you floating around in the bay. Why didn't you just slash somebody's tires or something? Rob a bank. Go to vegas and have the drunken sex with prostitutes. Those would have gotten you just as much attention, and would have been a lot more fun.

hey lookee here Citizen SHoPper, anotherexcerpt from The Allure: Beauty and an easy route to death have long made the Golden Gate Bridge a magnet for suicides

Mark Finch, 33, was a tall, high-strung Englishman living in San Francisco. Stylish, gifted and chronically depressed, he was in the process of coming off the antidepressant Effexor when he jumped off the Golden Gate Bridge on Jan. 14, 1995. When he died, having left his leather briefcase on the bridge's pedestrian walkway and a number of suicide notes on his office desk, his friends were stunned. Jenni Olson, his co-director at the San Francisco International Lesbian & Gay Film Festival, recently made a film, "The Joy of Life," that deals in part with Finch's suicide and the bridge's long legacy of death. Why the bridge and not another form of suicide? "Of course, given his personality, I just thought, 'Oh, how Mark' that it would be so spectacular. He doesn't do anything in a small way," Olson said.

Oh so what you're saying is that your friend is was an attention whore. Well I guess that makes it OK then.

If I were ever fucked up enough (and psychologically speaking, not alcoholly speaking) to decide to jump off the Golden Gate Bridge (which, incidentally, is not under CalTrans jurisdiction) here's what I would do...

Tio Jaime's DIY Suicide-o-rama, Engineer-style!

1) Take taxi to Golden Gate Bridge from the Zoo where I would have spent my last few dollars, saving enough for taxi fare. 2) Go to lightpole #80, in honor of SF 49er Jerry Rice. 3) Leave laminated copy of Rudyard Kipling's Sons of Martha next to my Professional Registration and my Engineer Stamp (registration and stamp are still in the works as of November 2005) 4) Jump 5) Hit water at 75mph 6) Die 7) Be deprived of the fruits of Heaven for eternity having died in a state of Mortal Sin 8) Wish I hadn't partaken in steps 2-7

Anyway, on a lighter note Happy Wednes-dee!

Tio Jaime

It's the Secret Prisons, Stupid!

Maybe I'm missing something, but this is somewhat of a no-brainer slam-dunk...

CIA uses secret prisons abroad: report

We can't very well tell everybody about our prisons abroad, can we? No shit they're secret prisons! You needed an entire Washington Post special report to tell you that?

Jihad Jimmy, Minister of War Crimes and Chief Defender of the Faith

and now i'm laughing at carissa gaghan, or he can't speak english, but maybe he speaks the universal language of Selling Your Children Into Slavery

PREVIOUSLY ON THE SHoP...

Ok this show fucking sucks, this doesn't even deserve SHoP billing.
i hope your kids murder you with shotguns when they come to grips with how assholey you made them
and maybe the little gaghan fucker will die
no shit your legs aren't sore, you're fucking worthless
that's why you don't let your little demon-children make the fucking decisions when $1,000,000 is at goddam stake

THE FOLLOWING TAKES PLACE BETWEEN 9:00 PM AND 10:00 PM.

EVENTS OCCUR IN REAL TIME.

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This episode was even better than this one here. no, really! Ironic how the best episode of The Amazing Race came in the shittiest season to date.

A little too ironic. And yeah, I really do think...

3am Criticism of the BEST Episode of The Amazing Race Ever Known to Mankind!!!

You are now in chat room "TioJaimeLate." TioJ has entered the chat room. TioJ (9:01:13 PM): hello dere TioJ (9:01:16 PM): and FUCK YOU GAGHANS TioJ (9:01:33 PM): a maze ing TioJ (9:01:35 PM): a mazeing TioJ (9:01:38 PM): a maze ing TioJ (9:01:39 PM): amazing TioJ (9:01:40 PM): a maze ing TioJ (9:01:41 PM): amazing JihadJimmyMWCCDF (9:03:27 PM): WTF why is AIM so shitty? TioJ has left the chat room. TioJ has entered the chat room. TioJ (9:03:58 PM): hello dere TioJ (9:04:00 PM): AGAIN TioJ (9:04:25 PM): HOW SHITTY TioJ (9:04:52 PM): i missed the recap, and also i missed the theme song TioJ (9:04:53 PM): WTF TioJ (9:04:55 PM): assholes TioJ (9:05:00 PM): This is the Panama Canal! TioJ (9:05:23 PM): G-sisters arrived last, but not eliminated TioJ (9:05:40 PM): Paolos first to depart 8:22 TioJ (9:05:43 PM): travel to San Jose TioJ (9:05:46 PM): ! TioJ (9:05:51 PM): costa rica =( TioJ (9:06:01 PM): go to volcan poas TioJ (9:06:47 PM): yeah kick your mom in the head TioJ (9:06:55 PM): i'm gonna work out once all the teams depart TioJ (9:07:01 PM): Weavers 2nd to depart 9:11 TioJ (9:07:26 PM): Bransen daughters 3rd to depart 9:16 TioJ (9:07:47 PM): Linz family 4th to depart 9:17 TioJ (9:08:27 PM): Gaghans 4th to depart TioJ (9:08:30 PM): i missed the fucking time TioJ (9:08:42 PM): and shit, they were smart enough to go to the hotel for a taxi TioJ (9:08:46 PM): FUCK YOU GAGHANS TioJ (9:09:01 PM): shut the fuck up TioJ (9:10:07 PM): G-sisters last to depart at 9:43 TioJ (9:10:18 PM): WHORE CITY TioJ (9:10:38 PM): are they at a TGI Fridays? TioJ (9:11:00 PM): Ok gonna work out, but not before a quick FUCK YOU GAGHANS TioJ (9:11:40 PM): now i want the Weavers to win if only to piss off the other shitty families TioJ (9:12:04 PM): although the jesus thing is beginning to bug me TioJ (9:12:07 PM): and hi tricia G-sister TioJ (9:12:12 PM): Ok gonna work out now TioJ (9:12:22 PM): don't think i'm not pissed at this show TioJ (9:19:53 PM): CARISSA GAGHAN YOU WORTHLESS FUCK TioJ (9:20:14 PM): FUCK YOU LITTLE GAGHAN TioJ (9:20:44 PM): SHUT THE FUCK UP TioJ (9:20:47 PM): FUCK YOU GAGHANS TioJ (9:24:05 PM): this is teh first of only two yields TioJ (9:24:43 PM): yielding team florida TioJ (9:24:45 PM): dumbasses TioJ (9:24:48 PM): roadblock TioJ (9:24:51 PM): find red bean TioJ (9:25:41 PM): ooh, g-sister thong? TioJ (9:27:59 PM): SHUT THE FUCK UP TioJ (9:29:02 PM): yeah Zathura is "Original" my ass TioJ (9:29:12 PM): you even mention that it's by the Jumanji-tards TioJ (9:32:45 PM): SHUT THE FUCK UP TioJ (9:32:48 PM): FUCK I HATE THE GAGHANS TioJ (9:34:54 PM): nice job weavers! TioJ (9:36:26 PM): Detour: Relic or Ripe TioJ (9:36:34 PM): those Mayan relics looked like styrofoamy TioJ (9:37:30 PM): he can't speak english, but maybe he speaks the universal language of Selling Your Children Into Slavery TioJ (9:40:22 PM): how is your old dad beating you two stupid Italian Stallions? TioJ (9:40:24 PM): fuckwads TioJ (9:42:48 PM): SHUT THE FUCK UP TioJ (9:42:53 PM): they're not gonna be eliminated, huh? TioJ (9:42:58 PM): the Weavers are gonna get stuck in the mud, huh TioJ (9:43:54 PM): SHUT THE FUCK UP TioJ (9:49:58 PM): SHUT THE FUCK UP GAGHAN TioJ (9:52:22 PM): wow i like teh costa rican momma TioJ (9:52:26 PM): looks like michelle rodriguez TioJ (9:52:48 PM): each of you have won shit from red bean cafe TioJ (9:52:49 PM): wow TioJ (9:53:29 PM): paolos team #1 TioJ (9:53:32 PM): linz team #2 TioJ (9:53:37 PM): bransen daughters team #3 TioJ (9:53:44 PM): costa rican is fucking HAWT TioJ (9:54:12 PM): g-sisters team #4 TioJ (9:54:16 PM): FUCK YOU GAGHANS TioJ (9:54:22 PM): i fucking hate you TioJ (9:54:25 PM): FUCK YOU CARISSA GAGHAN TioJ (9:54:27 PM): BURN IN HELL TioJ (9:55:06 PM): they didn't finish the task did they:? TioJ (9:55:11 PM): ooh costa rican TioJ (9:55:20 PM): they finished the task? TioJ (9:55:21 PM): OH YES TioJ (9:55:29 PM): FUCK YOU GAGHANS! TioJ (9:55:31 PM): BURN IN HELL TioJ (9:55:36 PM): GAHGAN FAMILY TioJ (9:55:44 PM): YOU'RE THE LAST TEAM TO ARRIVE TioJ (9:55:52 PM): I'M SORRY (not) TO TELL YOU YOU'VE BEEN ELIMINATED FROM THE RACE TioJ (9:55:55 PM): FUCK YOU GAGHANS TioJ (9:56:13 PM): and now i'm laughing at carissa gaghan TioJ (9:56:21 PM): fuck you gaghans! TioJ (9:56:26 PM): goddamit what a good show TioJ (9:56:34 PM): i thought the weavers didn't do their task TioJ (9:56:52 PM): OK now the show is gonna be good TioJ (9:56:57 PM): Stay chuned for scenes from our next episode TioJ (9:59:03 PM): dude, i don't get these stupid Arco commercials TioJ (9:59:11 PM): the Geico non-sequitors are funny TioJ (9:59:15 PM): Arco? not at all TioJ (9:59:22 PM): On the next episode of TAR TioJ (10:00:01 PM): Goodbye Gaghan fuckers. Burn in hell. TioJ (10:00:13 PM): oh, and don't get me started on Close to Home TioJ (10:00:18 PM): this show makes no sense whatsoever TioJ (10:00:47 PM): there's no catch. it's a lawyer show? with a non-HAWT blonde? TioJ (10:00:54 PM): see you next week TioJ has left the chat room.

[update date="20051102" time="0930" reason="i'm a forgetful tard"]
changed the post title. i included the line from the 3amC i initially wanted to use before i got caught up in the FUCK YOU GAGHANS excitement of them getting philiminated
[/update]

GFY Tuesday: Michael Moore again.

I sense about 10 more GFY days for Michael Moore. How neurotic can someone be to believe this guy? Anyone who seriously believes that a natural disaster is the fault of a single individual is a moron/conspiracy theorist/crack smoker. Whichever way you go, it doesn't hold water.

I wonder if Moor-on will touch on the Farrakhan-promoted belief that the Bush administration blew up the levees to kill black people.

I wonder if Moor-on will talk about the corrupt Louisiana government and local governments and the responsibility to their own people?

I wonder if Moor-on will explain that the federal government can't just send troops in and take over emergency actions?

I wonder if Moor-on will talk about how people have to take responsibility for themselves--that people will be governed only as much as they let themselves be governed?

Nope. It'll be conveeeeeniently glossed over.

I swear to God. It makes me want to rip about 150 million new assholes on the idiots in this country, and free the heads that are stuck up in there already.

Taking their ball and going home!

Well, well, well. Isn't this the goddam funniest thing you'll see right before elections?

Democrats close Senate doors in protest over Iraq
Democrats force Senate into rare closed session

What about Democrud's constant talk about compromise and bi-partisanship? Hmmm? As Republicans, we're used to hearing the clamor for these things when we're in power and the Democruds aren't. And that's fine. When we heard a call for compromise, we knew we had them up against the ropes.

But what's this? Now they're so pissed that they're playing the Silent Treatment card? Pussies. These were the same Democruds who whined and complained when Uncle Newt Gingrich joked about shutting the government down because he was made to exit Air Force One from the rear. You remember that, Citizen SHoPpers?

Of course you do. And guess which of our Degenerate Leftist friends isn't gonna remember that at all?

Citizen SHoPpers, your Tio Jaime plays his cards very close to his chest-- next to his half-empty glass of water. And for good reason. He doesn't like getting his hopes up only to have them dashed to the ground, clubbed like a baby seal, or beaten like a rented mule. But right here, right now, he'll be the first to tell you that We Are Winning.

Feels pretty fucking good, huh?

And I haven't even had to play the Guerilla Republican Card in a long time...

Fight the good and the bad fight,
Tio Jaime

kinda small... is it the enterprise bridge crew?

PREVIOUSLY ON THE SHoP...

It's the Internet Phenomenon, Stupid!
Old post I found saved as a draft but which I needed for a new post...
hippopotomonstrosesquippedaliophobia
All your income are belong to us.
It's the Zoo, Stupid!

THE FOLLOWING TAKES PLACE BETWEEN 8:00 PM AND 10:00 PM.

EVENTS OCCUR IN REAL TIME.

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I still have semblances of my glorious, nerd past. I was able to recognize tiny versions of Star Trek characters...

Mon-dee night chat

10/31/05, 8:14 PM TioJ: hey nice photoshop job 8:15 PM SixH: thanks, man. I figured out a cool function on photoshop 9:00 PM SixH: yo [RACIAL INVECTIVE]! TioJ: [SIMILAR RACIAL INVECTIVE]? SixH: take a look at this new icon TioJ: kinda small... is it the enterprise bridge crew? SixH: http://whatistng.ytmnd.com/ SixH: from here TioJ: i have small buddy icons, and also no animated gifs TioJ: OMG that's the best one i've seen so far 9:05 PM SixH: awesome isn't it? TioJ: is that yours? SixH: I'm not that good TioJ: heh SixH: and I don't have that time TioJ: no

And yes, all this trouble for one lousy link to a funny YTMND.

Jihad Jimmy, Minister of War Crimes and Chief Defender of the Faith