OK this was a good quiz

Really, the only thing to qualify something as a good quiz is the avoidance of pissing me off. This one, i even like. Nice job, dude.

Shotgun You preferred a weapon with 65% power over speed and 74% range over melee.

You use a Shotgun. While not the fastest gun in the west, a shotgun's raw power and ease of use make it an extremely potent weapon. Some shotguns can also be loaded with many different types of ammunition, providing a versatility many guns don't have. Choosing your shots, you fell your opponents immediately and without pause.

My test tracked 2 variables How you compared to other people your age and gender: You scored higher than 88% on power You scored higher than 88% on range

Link: The What's Your Signature Weapon Test written by inurashii on Ok Cupid

Time for one more? lemme see if i can find one real quick..

here's a cool game

and here's a harder version of the game

This isn't as cool as this

Got these from Caltechgirl's blog, Not Exactly Rocket Science. Keep reloading it until you get the banner with the cute little rockets! These little guys are cuter than ducks!

And how's this for a nice tie-in? Old SHoP post both refers to my penchant for ducks and caltechgirl's blog. Shit i wish i wasn't too lazy to do the trackbacks...

aww shit, right is right. check out Caltechgirl's weapon-of-choice post and random URLs post

Jihad Jimmy, Chief Defender of the Faith

late night chat w/tio jaime while he drinks beer

sorta seems relevant to the world at large, what with disputes about Asia's "Heat of the Moment"

at the very least, us band dorks go online waaaay too much and the MiniTrue will appreciate the hits. band dorks: don't be scared. just skip over the overtly Republican parts if those kinds of things bother you. you might not be as entertained, but i'm just looking out for you

jihad jimmy, chief defender of the faith

JihadJimmyCDF = Jihad Jimmy, Chief Defender of the Faith
SuperSticc = Jihad Jimmy’s marching band friend

4/27/05, 11:34 PM SuperSticc: What's up, Big Poppa? JihadJimmyCDF: yo SuperSticc: Have you been following the CBAA Thread? SuperSticc: on "Heat of the Moment"? JihadJimmyCDF: no, why? SuperSticc: I think Drew is wrong. SuperSticc: Are you on the list? 11:35 PM JihadJimmyCDF: no JihadJimmyCDF: cani access w/o signing up? SuperSticc: I'm not sure... SuperSticc: you can probably start navigating there through calband.berkeley.edu SuperSticc: Heat of the Moment - Asia Oh, and if I'm singing it right in my head, it was: 3/4 3/4 4/4 Great. Now I have that intro stuck in my head. What do I win? I remember doing Royal Exchange one time when Nick Fuentes directed it in an almost sober state. He did a great job. And I agree. It's a great song. It should be in the packet more often. Go Bears! _drew --- "neebop ." wrote: > Well shoot, maybe I'm really not remembering right. I think maybe instead > of 5/4, it was alternating bars of 3/4 and 4/4? All I remember is that is > had a weird time signature... and I like it. > > -Renee JihadJimmyCDF: 3, 3, 4 SuperSticc: I guess you're right... SuperSticc: I was thinking that it could work as 4, 2, 4 as well. JihadJimmyCDF: it would, but it was arranged 3, 3, 4 SuperSticc: Shieeeeeeeeet... SuperSticc: and who arranged it? JihadJimmyCDF: that and the phrases are better broken up 3, 3, 4 JihadJimmyCDF: not sure SuperSticc: Word. SuperSticc: The list doesn't get much traffic at all. SuperSticc: You should join. JihadJimmyCDF: go tell cbaa i said so SuperSticc: Maybe an average of one message a week? SuperSticc: In other words, spurts of 3-4 messages per month? 11:40 PM JihadJimmyCDF: 4, 2, 4 would make the guitar chords @ the beginning waay too awkward SuperSticc: Are you listening to it? JihadJimmyCDF: nope SuperSticc: You are amazing, James. JihadJimmyCDF: man, i know that song SuperSticc: It appears that you really do. JihadJimmyCDF: pay no attention to the html tags SuperSticc: And does [em] have anything to do with Emy Donavan? JihadJimmyCDF: this may make the blog JihadJimmyCDF: ahh, no SuperSticc: You have a blog? JihadJimmyCDF: [/em] JihadJimmyCDF: yeah SuperSticc: You just throwin' the emphasis down, eh? SuperSticc: Well...where is it? JihadJimmyCDF: let's see... JihadJimmyCDF: i have links posted on my friendster "blog" SuperSticc: Ok... JihadJimmyCDF: brief descriptions there too, depending on just how much jimmy you're looking for JihadJimmyCDF: i take that back SuperSticc: I want all the Jimmy I can get. JihadJimmyCDF: my xanga page sucks butt JihadJimmyCDF: http://sxhertz.blogspot.com JihadJimmyCDF: oops SuperSticc: Ok. JihadJimmyCDF: it's primarily political JihadJimmyCDF: run by my kindergarten friend JihadJimmyCDF: i've diluted it w/jimmy SuperSticc: Ok. JihadJimmyCDF: hold on, lemme find you a good post JihadJimmyCDF: just to get you started 11:45 PM SuperSticc: Ok... SuperSticc: the link doesn't seem to work. JihadJimmyCDF: click on the sixhertz, not sxhertz SuperSticc: I typed it in. JihadJimmyCDF: sixhertz.blogspot.com? SuperSticc: Yup. SuperSticc: Blogger said page not found. JihadJimmyCDF: i'm on it right now... SuperSticc: Weird... SuperSticc: it actually suddenly materialized... SuperSticc: after sitting there in an error-like state for a couple minutes. SuperSticc: Ok, I taped Alias and will watch it now... SuperSticc: catch ya later. JihadJimmyCDF: here... JihadJimmyCDF: http://sixhertz.blogspot.com/2005/03/kiss-me-im-irish-get-me-drunk-and-have.html JihadJimmyCDF: not sure how good that is... 11:50 PM JihadJimmyCDF: shit, that one sucked JihadJimmyCDF: http://sixhertz.blogspot.com/2005/03/here-sunshine-and-my-asshole-please-to.html JihadJimmyCDF: there JihadJimmyCDF: tha'ts classic jimmy 11:55 PM JihadJimmyCDF: http://sixhertz.blogspot.com/2005/03/weekday-afternoon-cartoons.html 12:00 AM JihadJimmyCDF: http://sixhertz.blogspot.com/2005/03/respect-mah-priori-tah.html JihadJimmyCDF: should keep you busy for a while

Live 3am Criticism of TAR7, episode 9

Good episode, but kinda predictable. enjoy

live 3amC of tar7 episode 9

You are now in chat room “tar4ep9.” TioJaime858 has entered the chat room. TioJaime858 (8:48:36 PM): hello dere TioJaime858 (9:00:18 PM): PREVIOUSLY ON THE AMAZING RACE TioJaime858 (9:00:32 PM): lucknow, no pit stop TioJaime858 (9:00:36 PM): train to jodphur TioJaime858 (9:00:56 PM): and stupid gretchen didn't push the stupid eletphant TioJaime858 (9:01:02 PM): dude, nice job joyce TioJaime858 (9:01:11 PM): eff you amber-tard TioJaime858 (9:01:27 PM): ha ha FUCK YOU GAYS TioJaime858 (9:01:47 PM): A! MAZE! ING! TioJaime858 (9:01:50 PM): AMAZING! TioJaime858 (9:01:53 PM): A! MAZE! ING! TioJaime858 (9:01:54 PM): AMZNG! TioJaime858 (9:01:58 PM): A! MAZING RACE! TioJaime858 (9:02:17 PM): A! MAZING RACE! TioJaime858 (9:02:17 PM): A! MAZING RACE! TioJaime858 (9:02:17 PM): A! MAZING RACE! TioJaime858 (9:02:17 PM): A! MAZE! ING! TioJaime858 has left the chat room. Poke00210 (9:02:42 PM): GODDAMIT I WAS REMOVED FOR SCROLLING? Poke00210 (9:02:45 PM): EFF YOU YOU ASSHOLES Poke00210 (9:03:00 PM): a! maze! ing! amazing! TioJaime858 has entered the chat room. TioJaime858 (9:03:43 PM): hey hey AOL go fuck yourselves TioJaime858 (9:04:48 PM): final three raymonds? TioJaime858 (9:04:55 PM): This is Johphur, INdia TioJaime858 (9:04:59 PM): agricultural center of NW india TioJaime858 (9:05:16 PM): yeah right TioJaime858 (9:05:32 PM): come on now, gretchen/meredithin the finals? TioJaime858 (9:05:34 PM): yeah right TioJaime858 (9:05:43 PM): shooting blancks first to depart TioJaime858 (9:05:52 PM): Let go, Let God TioJaime858 (9:05:57 PM): oh she's kinda cute TioJaime858 (9:06:16 PM): ron/kelly second, rob-tard third TioJaime858 (9:06:40 PM): they have the tard-lights TioJaime858 (9:07:02 PM): Team Old last to depart TioJaime858 (9:07:21 PM): oh since this isn't the finale, they should be eliminated today then TioJaime858 (9:08:10 PM): wow 24 hour travel agency TioJaime858 (9:08:21 PM): shit you can't get food in berkeley afte r2am TioJaime858 (9:08:30 PM): Yeah i can tell him OK TioJaime858 (9:08:42 PM): yes sir yes sir hot dog OK TioJaime858 (9:09:34 PM): so i'm gonna watch this show for an hour just to see the old people get philimiinated? TioJaime858 (9:10:04 PM): really, i'm not in too much of a tolerant mood TioJaime858 (9:10:13 PM): Gilmore Girls didn't sit too well TioJaime858 (9:10:30 PM): http://www.xanga.com/item.aspx?user=TioJaime&tab=weblogs&uid=250840498 TioJaime858 (9:10:58 PM): wow you're a fucking genius TioJaime858 (9:11:04 PM): guess what nobody cares TioJaime858 (9:11:22 PM): wow so you made them make some more phone calls TioJaime858 (9:11:32 PM): can we suck your cock now? TioJaime858 (9:11:34 PM): oh please... TioJaime858 (9:11:41 PM): we'd all be much obliged TioJaime858 (9:12:04 PM): oh wait, so there *was* an earlier flight TioJaime858 (9:12:14 PM): AND FUCK YOU AOL WHAT THE FUCK IS WRONG W/YOU TioJaime858 (9:12:42 PM): ooh turkey TioJaime858 (9:12:54 PM): i'd like to make out w/the Young Turk TioJaime858 (9:13:10 PM): WTF is this bitch yammering about now? TioJaime858 (9:13:32 PM): yeah being a POW got him out of the military early TioJaime858 (9:13:33 PM): youdumb cunt TioJaime858 (9:13:45 PM): i think it'd be OK w/america if you slapped her TioJaime858 (9:14:33 PM): wait so do shooting blancks and old dudes hve an earlier flight? TioJaime858 (9:14:42 PM): see, what a shitty season... not even good nicknames TioJaime858 (9:15:09 PM): uChenna? he has no clue what he's talking about TioJaime858 (9:15:24 PM): fuck you you bostard TioJaime858 (9:15:49 PM): what a cock TioJaime858 (9:15:55 PM): oh did they get an earlier flight? TioJaime858 (9:16:08 PM): "the blind leading the blind" TioJaime858 (9:16:19 PM): wow, you're such the mental magician TioJaime858 (9:16:34 PM): yay travelocity TioJaime858 (9:16:43 PM): please to be having a shitty gnome commercial TioJaime858 (9:16:56 PM): FUCK YOU GNOME TioJaime858 (9:17:29 PM): oh yay we can use splenda TioJaime858 (9:17:39 PM): what they don't tell you is about the diarrhea TioJaime858 (9:17:50 PM): whoa your hot wife chick is talking to you TioJaime858 (9:17:56 PM): WTF? TioJaime858 (9:18:03 PM): that was cool TioJaime858 (9:18:20 PM): i wanna poke his wife while she's wearing the top half of a bridal dress TioJaime858 (9:18:25 PM): or whatever the eff you call it TioJaime858 (9:18:34 PM): i'm not in a very tolerant mood TioJaime858 (9:18:40 PM): in case you hadn't eff-ing noticed TioJaime858 (9:19:47 PM): oh yay survivor TioJaime858 (9:20:10 PM): an elvis movie TioJaime858 (9:20:35 PM): "i'm completely confident we totally gained the lead" TioJaime858 (9:20:39 PM): i'm totally confident you're a cockmaster TioJaime858 (9:20:45 PM): ha ha they're beating you TioJaime858 (9:21:07 PM): dude... TWO HOURS!!! don't fucking blow it TioJaime858 (9:21:27 PM): they're on the ferry TioJaime858 (9:21:34 PM): and the tard-teams just landed TioJaime858 (9:21:49 PM): amber could do so much better TioJaime858 (9:21:54 PM): yeah so you missed the train TioJaime858 (9:21:55 PM): BFD TioJaime858 (9:22:08 PM): dude nice job old team TioJaime858 (9:22:15 PM): please please please don't get eliminated TioJaime858 (9:22:26 PM): uChenna Joyce currently in first place TioJaime858 (9:22:30 PM): oh it's a goddam gnome TioJaime858 (9:22:47 PM): oh ist's a fucking fucking travelocity gnome TioJaime858 (9:22:49 PM): that was shitty TioJaime858 (9:22:56 PM): oh so this is a non elimination round TioJaime858 (9:23:10 PM): if even the fourth place team can get the special gnome dealie TioJaime858 (9:23:13 PM): great TioJaime858 (9:23:16 PM): what a waste of an hour TioJaime858 (9:23:20 PM): whoa are they in first place? TioJaime858 (9:23:28 PM): yay a fag gnome TioJaime858 (9:23:37 PM): nice job old people TioJaime858 (9:23:51 PM): "we're in a big hurry" TioJaime858 (9:24:06 PM): hey shut up you stupid bostonian prick asshole TioJaime858 (9:24:33 PM): a detour is a choice between two tasks, each with its ownpros and cons TioJaime858 (9:24:57 PM): columns or kilos TioJaime858 (9:25:22 PM): and why the fuck is that a common practice to weigh people in instanbul? TioJaime858 (9:25:37 PM): if you'd like i can play Carnival w/the Young Turk TioJaime858 (9:25:43 PM): she can sit on my face and i can guess her weight TioJaime858 (9:26:04 PM): (special thanks goes to Superintendent Mike Carlton for that joke) TioJaime858 (9:26:43 PM): and blancks is weighing people TioJaime858 (9:26:48 PM): meredith and gretchen TioJaime858 (9:27:00 PM): are they lost? TioJaime858 (9:27:06 PM): again? TioJaime858 (9:27:17 PM): are they lost again? TioJaime858 (9:27:23 PM): great nice job w/your lead there TioJaime858 (9:27:40 PM): c'mon BABE TioJaime858 (9:27:44 PM): oh fuck you uChenna TioJaime858 (9:27:55 PM): go to some fortress TioJaime858 (9:27:59 PM): get a clue TioJaime858 (9:28:05 PM): and don't get elminated at the end of this episode TioJaime858 (9:28:09 PM): oh they'refucked TioJaime858 (9:28:21 PM): could be because you're old TioJaime858 (9:28:27 PM): and now they see the clue TioJaime858 (9:28:43 PM): i couldn't understand which one they were donig TioJaime858 (9:28:56 PM): "we're in second place right now" TioJaime858 (9:29:06 PM): "how many teams come so far?" TioJaime858 (9:29:20 PM): i love americans and their broken english TioJaime858 (9:30:30 PM): now it's a queery in a dog costume TioJaime858 (9:30:48 PM): hey go fuck yourself dog TioJaime858 (9:30:57 PM): may my dog georgia bite your balls off TioJaime858 (9:31:01 PM): well my sister's dog TioJaime858 (9:32:36 PM): ohha ha "i thought we were in teh lead this whole time" TioJaime858 (9:32:41 PM): oh they're panicked TioJaime858 (9:32:50 PM): oh they found the idiot gnome TioJaime858 (9:32:56 PM): the one that was in plain view TioJaime858 (9:33:12 PM): oh maybe POW and his cunt will get eliminated TioJaime858 (9:33:15 PM): probably not TioJaime858 (9:33:24 PM): since nobody is getting eliminated this round TioJaime858 (9:33:29 PM): i called it first... TioJaime858 (9:33:34 PM): lemme find the time for you TioJaime858 (9:33:38 PM): just so you know i'm right TioJaime858 (9:34:06 PM): i have since 9:07PDT TioJaime858 (9:34:19 PM): blancks in first TioJaime858 (9:34:25 PM): a road block is a task that only one person may perform TioJaime858 (9:34:33 PM): climbing shit TioJaime858 (9:34:43 PM): OK this is where meredith dies TioJaime858 (9:35:04 PM): yeah storm the fortress you crazy black man TioJaime858 (9:35:22 PM): c'mon infertile black dude TioJaime858 (9:35:30 PM): oh shit, they're just now doing the scales? TioJaime858 (9:35:34 PM): oh they're fucked TioJaime858 (9:35:49 PM): maybe ron-kelly will start bickering and shit TioJaime858 (9:36:05 PM): uChenna is ready to repel TioJaime858 (9:36:29 PM): go to pit stop TioJaime858 (9:36:37 PM): rumeli husari overlook? TioJaime858 (9:36:45 PM): last team to check in *may* be eliminated TioJaime858 (9:36:56 PM): whoa nice job shooting blancks TioJaime858 (9:36:57 PM): ! TioJaime858 (9:37:00 PM): uChenna joyce team #1 TioJaime858 (9:37:15 PM): oh yes TioJaime858 (9:37:29 PM): heh no litle plane TioJaime858 (9:37:37 PM): nice job TioJaime858 (9:37:46 PM): oh shit what a clueless team TioJaime858 (9:38:09 PM): they're an entire task behind the first place team they came in with TioJaime858 (9:38:25 PM): oh whatever TioJaime858 (9:38:33 PM): nobody's getting eliminated this time TioJaime858 (9:38:36 PM): oh wait TioJaime858 (9:39:00 PM): wait i said they will be eliminated TioJaime858 (9:39:11 PM): unless there are two more episodes after this one TioJaime858 (9:39:34 PM): in which case somebody should get eliminated TioJaime858 (9:39:43 PM): OK well i'm confused now TioJaime858 (9:39:59 PM): no nobody should get eliminated today TioJaime858 (9:40:17 PM): because 1 or two left to go, you have to eliminate next round TioJaime858 (9:40:26 PM): so you can have 3 in the finals? TioJaime858 (9:40:31 PM): shit i'm confused TioJaime858 (9:41:09 PM): i hope foreigners now learn the bostard accent TioJaime858 (9:41:24 PM): perhaps rob-tard and his kind will be executed? TioJaime858 (9:41:57 PM): yeah i would've doen that one TioJaime858 (9:42:07 PM): math is cool TioJaime858 (9:42:07 PM): eff you aol TioJaime858 (9:42:12 PM): oh shit TioJaime858 (9:42:19 PM): you're gonna let gretchen do this one? TioJaime858 (9:42:24 PM): it was nice knowing you TioJaime858 (9:42:29 PM): not that you'll get eliminated TioJaime858 (9:42:57 PM): they won't eliminate anybody today TioJaime858 (9:43:09 PM): because thye booted teh fags yesterday TioJaime858 (9:43:17 PM): nice job TioJaime858 (9:43:28 PM): ron-kelly currentlyin last place TioJaime858 (9:43:30 PM): just slap her TioJaime858 (9:43:37 PM): c'mon tretchen tard TioJaime858 (9:43:42 PM): just do it TioJaime858 (9:43:51 PM): less talky, more climby TioJaime858 (9:44:00 PM): oh fuck you gnome TioJaime858 (9:46:29 PM): and what kind of fucked up commercial was that? TioJaime858 (9:46:48 PM): something about suicide and depression acinerba is not online, and therefore cannot chat. TioJaime858 (9:47:26 PM): ROSIE O'DONNELL PLAYING THE TARD CARD!!! OH THAT'S FUCKING BRILLIANT!!! TioJaime858 (9:47:38 PM): i think i saw a post about that on wizbang!? TioJaime858 (9:47:46 PM): (wizbang!)? (UPDATE 4/27/05: the "rosie o'donnell playing the tard card" post is actually at Six Meat Buffet) TioJaime858 (9:47:52 PM): do the dew gretchen TioJaime858 (9:48:02 PM): nice job 66-y.o. lady TioJaime858 (9:48:11 PM): hey eff you rob-tard TioJaime858 (9:48:22 PM): thou shalt not talk shit about the old team TioJaime858 (9:48:27 PM): nice job gretchen TioJaime858 (9:48:48 PM): she's kinda cool TioJaime858 (9:48:52 PM): even when she complains too much TioJaime858 (9:48:59 PM): unlock the book dude TioJaime858 (9:49:10 PM): nice job gretchen! TioJaime858 (9:49:31 PM): i'd like to point out the shitty new york jews who not only didn't make it to tthe top 4, but didn't even finish their shitty task TioJaime858 (9:49:37 PM): meredith/gretchen team #2 TioJaime858 (9:49:54 PM): dude, nice round old people TioJaime858 (9:50:04 PM): roadblock TioJaime858 (9:50:09 PM): here it is BABY TioJaime858 (9:50:11 PM): fuck you rob TioJaime858 (9:50:28 PM): good job BABY TioJaime858 (9:50:30 PM): good job BABY TioJaime858 (9:50:35 PM): fuck you amber TioJaime858 (9:50:45 PM): hey go drop your gnome in your ass TioJaime858 (9:50:52 PM): i would still like to have semi-consensual sex with you TioJaime858 (9:51:03 PM): even though you like choadstain men TioJaime858 (9:51:05 PM): fuck you TioJaime858 (9:51:10 PM): fucking mental midget TioJaime858 (9:51:44 PM): comin' BABY TioJaime858 (9:51:46 PM): fuck you rob TioJaime858 (9:52:04 PM): burn in hell TioJaime858 (9:52:05 PM): BABY c'mon, come in here TioJaime858 (9:52:11 PM): less whiny, more findy key TioJaime858 (9:52:17 PM): rob-ambertard TioJaime858 (9:52:33 PM): oh dammit they still have the gnome TioJaime858 (9:52:37 PM): oh i bet these tards TioJaime858 (9:52:41 PM): OH THEY DDIN'T! TioJaime858 (9:53:03 PM): watch, ron-kelly won't e eliminated else travelocity won't ge their plug TioJaime858 (9:53:14 PM): you dumbfuck YOU TOLD THEM ABOUT AN EARLIER FLIGHT TioJaime858 (9:53:22 PM): ron kelly, last team to arrive TioJaime858 (9:53:24 PM): not that it matters TioJaime858 (9:53:26 PM): yeah no shit TioJaime858 (9:53:41 PM): heh hand over over all your money TioJaime858 (9:53:56 PM): he still has his harnesses on TioJaime858 (9:53:59 PM): there could be? TioJaime858 (9:54:08 PM): of course there's good news TioJaime858 (9:54:17 PM): yay you have the plne TioJaime858 (9:54:24 PM): SHIT 20,000 TioJaime858 (9:54:38 PM): they have a suite at the four seasons? TioJaime858 (9:54:39 PM): WTF TioJaime858 (9:54:50 PM): and too bad you're a cunt TioJaime858 (9:55:15 PM): stay chuned for scenes from our next episode TioJaime858 (9:55:18 PM): hot flahses? TioJaime858 (9:55:23 PM): oh hi older chicks TioJaime858 (9:55:37 PM): heh she's turning down the heat TioJaime858 (9:55:41 PM): oh hi hotflash moma TioJaime858 (9:55:55 PM): "if you have a uterus, premarin increases the risk of uterine cancer" TioJaime858 (9:56:01 PM): no unusual vaginal bleeding TioJaime858 (9:56:10 PM): WTF KIND OF COMMERCIALS ARE THESE? TioJaime858 (9:56:15 PM): YOU SICK FUCKS TioJaime858 (9:56:50 PM): YAY NEW SURVIVOR TioJaime858 (9:56:56 PM): FOR FUCK'S SAKE, JUST DIE ALREADY TioJaime858 (9:57:17 PM): on the next episode of the amazing race TioJaime858 (9:57:33 PM): "it's like teaching women how to drive" TioJaime858 has left the chat room.

OK let's try this again. Satur-dee worktime hijinks.

So half a week after my Satur-dee in Benicia, it appears that profanity is OK w/in the context of quoting a popular movie. Past that, good luck Jihad Jimmy.

Looks like I'm working Satur-dees again. This is nothing new. And actually, to your benefit, dear SHoPper... some memorable posts have come from my Satur-dees with Schmundergrowwnd Konstruckshun. (so they can't find this lovely gem of a blog on google or something stupid like that)

Pro Bono on the Weekend, or How I Learned to Stop Worrying and Give Up My Saturdays
has the Puppy! check it out and think puppy-thoughts...

Dude Where's My Weekend? or: How I Learned to Stop Worrying and Love Satur-dee!

oh look i'm here for my 15th consecutive day @ work. yay.

Satur-dee Worktime Hijinks!
yay for you if you're looking for details on a Hall of Fame Jimmy-girl. Also has picture of a Man with a Huge Cock

Enough of the gratuitous self-linkage. if you're a fan of Full Metal Jacket (and if you're a SHoPper, it's a near-certainty that you are...) you'll like this chat transcript.

TioJaime858 = Tio Jaime
MiniTrue = SixHertz

TioJaime858 (12:30:25 PM): yay for work on a satur-dee MiniTrue (12:31:14 PM): I'm Bruce Nolan! For Channel 5 Eyewitness News....Back to you, fuckers! TioJaime858 (12:31:46 PM): is that from anchorman? MiniTrue (12:31:55 PM): Bruce Almighty MiniTrue (12:31:58 PM): Hey dude... MiniTrue (12:32:08 PM): Did you ever try a headhunter when you were looking for a job? TioJaime858 (12:32:17 PM): almost TioJaime858 (12:32:23 PM): i tried placement agencies TioJaime858 (12:32:31 PM): and one headhunter TioJaime858 (12:32:40 PM): and the only thing i got from the head hunter was a date w/their receptionist TioJaime858 (12:32:44 PM): this was up in seattle MiniTrue (12:32:50 PM): ok TioJaime858 (12:33:37 PM): the head hunter seemed too expensive at the time MiniTrue (12:33:52 PM): those bastards charge? I thought they got kickbacks from companies. MiniTrue (12:34:06 PM): basically, because they did HR work for them. TioJaime858 (12:34:11 PM): i think part of it was from the companies, but also part of it was like a resume consultation and shit TioJaime858 (12:34:29 PM): and access to their job databases MiniTrue (12:34:36 PM): jesus. MiniTrue (12:34:41 PM): How much did they want? TioJaime858 (12:34:52 PM): i forget TioJaime858 (12:34:56 PM): i think several hundred MiniTrue (12:35:12 PM): Holy Shi'ite. TioJaime858 (12:35:17 PM): the receptionist was cute TioJaime858 (12:35:20 PM): from Ohio MiniTrue (12:35:20 PM): hah MiniTrue (12:35:23 PM): mmm... TioJaime858 (12:35:28 PM): tall, kinda skinny TioJaime858 (12:35:35 PM): had that hipster, artist look TioJaime858 (12:35:36 PM): sorta TioJaime858 (12:36:02 PM): not sure how i pulled that off whilst unemployed MiniTrue (12:36:28 PM): you dated her? MiniTrue (12:37:48 PM): hahah MiniTrue (12:37:49 PM): cool TioJaime858 (12:37:56 PM): no, went on one date TioJaime858 (12:38:08 PM): still to this day don't know how i effed it up.. TioJaime858 (12:38:15 PM): and i don't think you'd want a hipster chick TioJaime858 (12:38:28 PM): because you'd probably let slip about your blog MiniTrue (12:38:31 PM): hah TioJaime858 (12:38:34 PM): and then she'd quickly realize you're Republican TioJaime858 (12:41:38 PM): and then no more boom-boom for that baby-san MiniTrue (12:41:43 PM): hah TioJaime858 (12:42:10 PM): or better still, you wouldn't have to say anything?? just right off the bat she'd peg you for a republican TioJaime858 (12:42:29 PM): yeah, i'd lay dollars to win doughnuts that's what would happen TioJaime858 (12:42:41 PM): you're not a doofus nerd-boy MiniTrue (12:43:13 PM): smack that ass, dude....smack that ass. MiniTrue (12:43:23 PM): give it a little squeeze. MiniTrue (12:43:30 PM): she'll come right back to you. MiniTrue (12:43:56 PM): make sure to give it that little bit of a reach-around. MiniTrue (12:44:00 PM): hahah MiniTrue (12:44:12 PM): ok, I've officially lost it. MiniTrue (12:44:15 PM): la la la TioJaime858 (12:46:31 PM): hey whoa TioJaime858 (12:46:48 PM): i don't know what kind of Ohioan receptionists you have down there in San Diego TioJaime858 (12:47:11 PM): but the ones i like aren't reach-aroundable TioJaime858 (12:47:37 PM): I bet you're the kinda guy who would fuck a person in the ass and not even have the goddam common courtesy to give him a reach-around. TioJaime858 (12:47:40 PM): I'll be watching you. TioJaime858 (12:47:48 PM): You're parents have any children that lived? TioJaime858 (12:48:01 PM): I bet they regret that. You're so ugly you could be a modern-art masterpiece! MiniTrue (12:48:07 PM): what's your name fat-body? TioJaime858 (12:48:24 PM): Sir, leonard lawrence, sir! MiniTrue (12:48:34 PM): Lawrence, huh? Lawrence what? of Arabia? TioJaime858 (12:48:38 PM): Sir, no, sir! MiniTrue (12:48:41 PM): That name sounds like royalty, are you royalty? TioJaime858 (12:48:47 PM): Sir, no sir! MiniTrue (12:48:48 PM): Do you suck dicks? TioJaime858 (12:48:51 PM): Sir, no sir! MiniTrue (12:49:00 PM): Bullshit, I bet you could suck a golf ball through a garden hose. TioJaime858 (12:49:15 PM): sir no sir? MiniTrue (12:49:17 PM): I don't like the name Lawrence, only faggots and sailors are called Lawrence. MiniTrue (12:49:25 PM): From now on you're Gomer Pyle! MiniTrue (12:49:38 PM): Do you think I'm cute, Private Pyle, do you think I'm funny? TioJaime858 (12:49:42 PM): Sir, no sir! MiniTrue (12:49:48 PM): Then wipe that disgusting grin off your face! TioJaime858 (12:49:58 PM): Sir, yes, sir! MiniTrue (12:50:00 PM): Any fucking time, sweetheart! TioJaime858 (12:50:13 PM): Sir, I'm trying, sir. MiniTrue (12:50:15 PM): Bullshit! GET ON YOUR KNEES, SCUMBAG! MiniTrue (12:50:25 PM): oh wait... MiniTrue (12:50:27 PM): that's wrong. MiniTrue (12:50:33 PM): moving right along.... TioJaime858 (12:50:33 PM): ? yeah i think we missed one in there TioJaime858 (12:50:40 PM): there was a "sir, i can't help it sir" MiniTrue (12:50:45 PM): Private Pyle, I'm going to give you 3 seconds.... TioJaime858 (12:50:52 PM): LOL MiniTrue (12:50:58 PM): exactly three fucking seconds to wipe that stupid looking grin off your face... MiniTrue (12:51:07 PM): or I WILL GOUGE OUT YOUR EYEBALLS AND SKULL FUCK YOU! TioJaime858 (12:51:11 PM): LOL MiniTrue (12:51:27 PM): Sir, I'm trying sir! MiniTrue (12:51:35 PM): BULLSHIT! GET ON YOUR KNEES, SCUMBAG! MiniTrue (12:51:49 PM): NOW CHOKE YOURSELF! MiniTrue (12:52:01 PM): No, you idot! With MY HAND! MiniTrue (12:52:08 PM): Don't touch my fucking hand! MiniTrue (12:52:15 PM): Now, lean forward and choke yourself! TioJaime858 (12:54:58 PM): my cute german neighbor is a gun-toting bush-voting FMJ-junkie MiniTrue (12:55:28 PM): FMJ? MiniTrue (12:55:33 PM): full metal jacket. MiniTrue (12:55:35 PM): nvm TioJaime858 (12:55:36 PM): yesh MiniTrue (12:55:43 PM): I wanna meet that girl. MiniTrue (12:55:45 PM): hahah TioJaime858 (12:55:47 PM): she'd be able to play this game TioJaime858 (12:56:01 PM): well shit you can meet her at my wedding oh yes yes TioJaime858 (12:56:15 PM): you know i might have to edit that out MiniTrue (12:56:36 PM): I already got a cute republican chick, dude. MiniTrue (12:56:37 PM): ;-) TioJaime858 (12:56:39 PM): she's the kind of person who would appreciate the SHoP... haven't sent her the link yet MiniTrue (12:56:46 PM): be careful. TioJaime858 (12:56:52 PM): No shit. MiniTrue (12:56:52 PM): she may get turned off about the zoo TioJaime858 (12:56:58 PM): What have we got here, a fucking comedian. TioJaime858 (12:57:25 PM): Private Joker. Hell, I like you. You can come over to my house and fuck my sister. TioJaime858 (12:57:40 PM): Get up! Get on your feet! TioJaime858 (12:58:07 PM): You will not laugh. You will not cry. You will learn by the numbers! I will teach you! TioJaime858 (12:58:20 PM): Private Joker, why did you join my beloved Corps? MiniTrue (12:58:28 PM): Sir, to kill, Sir! TioJaime858 (12:58:33 PM): So your a killer? TioJaime858 (12:58:35 PM): shit TioJaime858 (12:58:39 PM): so you're a killer? MiniTrue (12:58:44 PM): Sir yes sir! TioJaime858 (12:58:51 PM): You got a war face? MiniTrue (12:58:54 PM): Sir?! TioJaime858 (12:59:07 PM): AHHHHHHHHH that's a war face now lemme see your war face! MiniTrue (12:59:14 PM): YYYAAARRRRRGGGGGHHHHH! TioJaime858 (1:00:02 PM): ... TioJaime858 (1:00:29 PM): oh fuck TioJaime858 (1:00:45 PM): line? MiniTrue (1:01:07 PM): That's not a war face! Now lemme see your REAL war face! TioJaime858 (1:01:13 PM): shit, sorry MiniTrue (1:01:23 PM): YAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHH! TioJaime858 (1:01:32 PM): Bullshit, you don't convince me. Work on it. MiniTrue signed off at 1:55:51 PM.

Oh, but no such luck this coming Satur-dee. mariners are coming to town! Oh yes, it's gonna be an all-baseball-all-the-time kinda weekend!!!

Jihad Jimmy, Chief Defender of the Faith

Same Shit, Different Ignoramus Celebrity Opening His Stupid Pie-Hole

OK so there are two approaches to this, both equally funny. Try explaining these to a politically retarded LIbEral (heh, sorry for the redundancy) if you want to make him mad. It's like they're eff-ing allergic to logic or something. I dunno anymore.

And I didn't make this headline up. God, I wish I did. Or at the very least, I wish I was stealing this from The Onion, but holy crap in a pita, I'm not...

Pop singer Moby: Make my kid 'gay'
Musician also rips DeLay, Coulter, Hannity as 'immoral' right-wingers

In an interview with Planet Out, a publication geared toward homosexuals, the musician, who is not "gay," was lamenting so-called homophobia in society when he suggested his future child should be raised to be a homosexual. "As a matter of fact, I was talking to my friend Laura, who sings on [my latest] record, and we're both getting to the point where we want to start families," Moby said. "We're convinced that if we have children, we're going to do everything in our power to make them gay. Like maybe drinking a lot of extra soy milk while she's pregnant, or anything that would work to make that happen. I'd just rather have a really sharp, interesting, smart gay son than some big dumb hetero meathead."

ANGER. BOILING. MUST. RESIST.

WAIT. NEW URGE.

NEED. CONTROL BLADDER. GONNA WET MYSELF.

At first my reaction is rage-- a good, go-to jimmy-reaction wouldn't you say? But then I realize that even the staunchest of democruds will be clamoring for this multi-platinum Tard to just "STFU and play your shitty music". And now the rage gives way to mocking ridicule.

Much like that dumb C.U.N.T. of a protestor in San Diego who, while trying to yell at me at point-blank range, got a liberal dose of her comrade's bullhorn in her ear and winced and retreated. This illicited a lot of derisive laughter from the Chief Defender of the Faith and intervention by one of San Diego's Finest. Holy shit that was just fucking brilliant.

OK go re-read the first sentence of this post. First approach is, "Moby, you retarded pinhead. If homosexuality is natural like you liberals claim, what if your son is truly straight? Would you try to turn a right-handed child in to a lefty? Probably not, because you don't seem like the type with foresight enough to try to unnaturally cultivate a Kirk Reuter or a Jaime Moyer."

Second approach: "Moby, you retarded pinhead. So what you're saying is that homosexuality is a lifestyle choice and that all homos everywhere are really straight at heart, but have just made a choice somewhere along the road of life. And they had to make that choice on their own because they didn't have a crazy father who was over-eagerly encouraging of a buttsex-o-licious lifestyle."

Celebritard, continued

Moby writes: "I hope that Tom DeLay sticks around for a long time. "He's such a profound and continuing source of embarrassment for the right wing in America that his resignation or indictment would actually work to the detriment of the left wing in the states. "The progressive movement needs more crazy and amoral/immoral right-wing politicians and pundits like Tom DeLay and Newt Gingrich and Ann Coulter and Sean Hannity. "Seeing as the progressive movement [is], sadly, not so good at self-promotion, the progressives have to rely on crazy right-wingers like DeLay and Coulter to drive people away from the Republican Party and into the ranks of the Democrats."

OK, slow down, lightbulb-head! Your Unka Jimmy can't type that fast, you crazy fag wrangler, you!

First, what's the big stink about Tom DeLay? He's no Newt. When we get somebody Newt-tastic, I'll start listening to everybody's complaints. At which point i will pulverize them to a fine (albeit, stoopid-inducing) powder.

Second, and most importantly, "the progressive movement" is "not so good at self-promotion?" WTF, are you retarded? That was not a rhetorical question. Are you retarded? My God, this is even more clueless than the whining about the "Republican Media" that your crazy-go-nuts die-hards keep trying to blow up everybody's asses. This is the very nature of the progressive movement, or as it was called before it tried to disguise itself, the Liberal Movement. How else, besides brown-nosing, mentally-masturbating self-promotion are you supposed to fight any status quo anywhere?

This is sad. The more I see these morons in action, the more I want to smack them and tell them how to be better LIbEralS. I've learned so much about being a liberal from Berkeley and San Fran-fucking-cisco and the rest of the bay area, that I want to teach the unenlightened if only so I can bring the school-age. How does that make you idiots feel? I can out-liberal you.

I've gone up against the LIbEralS of the 90s, and these lazy-asses nowadays don't even come close. I'm taking my bat and going home. This isn't even a challenge anymore.

Not with mental magicians like this pitching underhand to me. With tennis balls.

Jihad Jimmy, Chief Defender of the Faith

3am Criticism of Grey's Anatomy, Episode 5

Again, come join me. This is a good show, and best to get in on the ground floor. And check out the music too, i downloaded a lot of stuff this afternoon from the show.

In preparation, I have to sit through desperate housewives. It's a recap show, apparently. Not too cool.

3am Criticism of Grey's Anatomy, episode 5

You are now in chat room “gaep5.” TioJaime858 has entered the chat room. TioJaime858 (9:53:33 PM): hello dere TioJaime858 (9:54:09 PM): and we're in the middle of Desperate Housewives's finale TioJaime858 (9:54:14 PM): doesn't quite make any sense TioJaime858 (9:54:22 PM): great TioJaime858 (9:54:26 PM): evil m&m's TioJaime858 (9:54:34 PM): ooh catherine zeta-jones TioJaime858 (9:55:40 PM): an all new Grey's Anatomy coming up next! TioJaime858 (9:55:55 PM): Lost the journey TioJaime858 (9:56:10 PM): i really should've stayed w/Lost TioJaime858 (9:56:27 PM): I'd like to point out htat I saw the first one TioJaime858 (9:56:42 PM): wow, a dog dug up a dead chick TioJaime858 (10:01:51 PM): and why does eva longoria's character's husbandlook gay TioJaime858 (10:02:34 PM): "Being an adult, severely overrated" TioJaime858 (10:02:35 PM): cool music.... could be The Ditty Bops TioJaime858 (10:02:35 PM): ? TioJaime858 (10:02:35 PM): "Responsibility, it really does suck" TioJaime858 (10:02:49 PM): "Really, really sucks" TioJaime858 (10:02:55 PM): whoa TioJaime858 (10:03:16 PM): whoops TioJaime858 (10:03:20 PM): she fell asleep @ the wheel TioJaime858 (10:03:58 PM): heh TioJaime858 (10:04:00 PM): izzie is cute TioJaime858 (10:04:36 PM): uh oh TioJaime858 (10:05:43 PM): dueling doctors TioJaime858 (10:05:52 PM): oh sorry, i missed blackt0r2 TioJaime858 (10:06:36 PM): no you shouldn't tell blackt0r2 TioJaime858 (10:06:41 PM): wacky theme song TioJaime858 (10:06:52 PM): "nobody knows where they might end up" TioJaime858 (10:06:57 PM): "nobody knows" TioJaime858 (10:07:29 PM): blackt0r1 and blackt0r3 TioJaime858 (10:07:44 PM): yay anti-smoking hollywood shit TioJaime858 (10:07:57 PM): "i know what chronic means" TioJaime858 (10:08:46 PM): heh, give the junkie drugs TioJaime858 (10:09:04 PM): "probably a good idea to quit smoking" TioJaime858 (10:09:39 PM): that o'malley is cool TioJaime858 (10:09:41 PM): andhe's not gay TioJaime858 (10:10:09 PM): black nurse? TioJaime858 (10:10:13 PM): black patients TioJaime858 (10:11:00 PM): izzie is cute TioJaime858 (10:11:30 PM): and jews TioJaime858 (10:11:40 PM): blackt0r2! TioJaime858 (10:11:52 PM): blackt0r2 bringing the asian chick coffee TioJaime858 (10:12:08 PM): and she's kinda creeped out TioJaime858 (10:12:16 PM): ooh yeah TioJaime858 (10:12:22 PM): he's gots a bit of the yellow fever TioJaime858 (10:13:11 PM): OK and what happened for those of use who didnt' go to med school? TioJaime858 (10:13:32 PM): WTF? TioJaime858 (10:13:48 PM): they left a towel inside the chick 5 years ago TioJaime858 (10:13:51 PM): that's fucked up TioJaime858 (10:16:20 PM): d'oh TioJaime858 (10:16:32 PM): ooh yeah invite the nazi TioJaime858 (10:16:38 PM): sandra oh looked hot TioJaime858 (10:16:57 PM): what did the cock say? TioJaime858 (10:17:18 PM): heh TioJaime858 (10:17:32 PM): i bet the frat cock didn't do what he was told to do TioJaime858 (10:17:39 PM): what a cock TioJaime858 (10:18:21 PM): that's fucked up TioJaime858 (10:18:53 PM): ooh and sandra oh is in stealth mode TioJaime858 (10:18:57 PM): hot asian stealth mode TioJaime858 (10:19:00 PM): oh yes TioJaime858 (10:19:18 PM): hey thanks for highlighting that for me TioJaime858 (10:20:37 PM): cool... this should be funny later when lots of people are at the party TioJaime858 (10:20:51 PM): duh TioJaime858 (10:21:15 PM): oh and she fessed up about the heart TioJaime858 (10:21:22 PM): and the chick in this commercial is cute TioJaime858 (10:21:29 PM): yeah eff you wendy TioJaime858 (10:21:36 PM): ooh yeah wendy TioJaime858 (10:25:05 PM): ooh yeah now blackt0r2 is pissed at ellen pompeo TioJaime858 (10:25:43 PM): ooh yeah now blackt0r3 is pissed at blackt0r2 TioJaime858 (10:26:27 PM): ooh yeah nurses TioJaime858 (10:26:33 PM): ooh yeah kathryn heigl TioJaime858 (10:27:00 PM): sandra oh's eyes are crooked TioJaime858 (10:27:09 PM): heh, o'malley funny TioJaime858 (10:27:32 PM): huh? TioJaime858 (10:27:44 PM): oh we had the benefit of her opening monologue TioJaime858 (10:27:59 PM): blackt0r2 TioJaime858 (10:28:14 PM): Seattle Grace Hospital! TioJaime858 (10:29:16 PM): ooh and now black-patient is pissed over something about which he has no idea TioJaime858 (10:29:20 PM): yay for people TioJaime858 (10:30:01 PM): yeah eff you underdog TioJaime858 (10:30:19 PM): yeah eff you new yorkers TioJaime858 (10:32:53 PM): frat doctor and the drug addict TioJaime858 (10:34:16 PM): oh dr lingerie model is cute TioJaime858 (10:34:54 PM): space needle! TioJaime858 (10:36:01 PM): ellen pompeo going crazy and losing her voice TioJaime858 (10:36:09 PM): blackt0rs 1 and 2 TioJaime858 (10:36:46 PM): and blackt0r 2 took his files TioJaime858 (10:37:19 PM): cingular commercials geting annoying TioJaime858 (10:37:40 PM): oh yay they bought a house! TioJaime858 (10:39:46 PM): oh an all new Blind Justice? TioJaime858 (10:40:26 PM): yeah yeah yeah TioJaime858 (10:40:27 PM): smoking bad TioJaime858 (10:40:45 PM): you know what's really hazardous to your health? entrusting your well-being to the LIbErals TioJaime858 (10:41:19 PM): uh oh TioJaime858 (10:41:31 PM): oh hi sandra oh TioJaime858 (10:41:48 PM): perhaps she could reprise her role from DatBI TioJaime858 (10:42:04 PM): ooh nazi in civvies TioJaime858 (10:42:07 PM): not as hot TioJaime858 (10:42:33 PM): oops TioJaime858 (10:42:51 PM): OK so he fell? TioJaime858 (10:43:11 PM): heh TioJaime858 (10:43:24 PM): izzie gets some brain surger-age TioJaime858 (10:43:28 PM): surgery-age TioJaime858 (10:43:58 PM): LOL TioJaime858 (10:44:01 PM): sandra oh is drunk TioJaime858 (10:44:17 PM): and now she's getting drunk TioJaime858 (10:44:21 PM): oh my TioJaime858 (10:44:36 PM): ooh TioJaime858 (10:45:24 PM): sandra oh burped TioJaime858 (10:46:47 PM): wow he wasn't a total frat-cock TioJaime858 (10:48:13 PM): oh waaa, your hot model girlfriend is a doctor now TioJaime858 (10:48:30 PM): oh he's pissed TioJaime858 (10:48:37 PM): perhaps she should stir the soup TioJaime858 (10:48:46 PM): ooh hi butt TioJaime858 (10:49:10 PM): ellen pompeo drunk and wobbly TioJaime858 (10:49:42 PM): hotsquinty doctor TioJaime858 (10:50:06 PM): yay space needle TioJaime858 (10:50:11 PM): whoa TioJaime858 (10:50:16 PM): ellen pompeo in a nice bra TioJaime858 (10:50:22 PM): LOL TioJaime858 (10:50:35 PM): blackt0r 1 TioJaime858 (10:50:45 PM): caught them all nakes like TioJaime858 (10:52:37 PM): mercer island! TioJaime858 (10:52:41 PM): yay for mercer island TioJaime858 (10:53:10 PM): holy mother of destruction TioJaime858 (10:53:24 PM): yeah youdumb tard TioJaime858 (10:55:42 PM): blackt0r2 fessin' up TioJaime858 (10:55:50 PM): and he's standing up for dr ellen pompeo TioJaime858 (10:56:19 PM): dr ellen pompeo on probation TioJaime858 (10:56:57 PM): i'd like to make out w/doctor sandra oh in scrubs TioJaime858 (10:57:54 PM): shit, i should've been blogging this montage TioJaime858 (10:58:09 PM): this wasn't a very frat-cocktastic episode TioJaime858 (10:58:20 PM): blackt0r 2 getting all nakeds TioJaime858 (10:58:49 PM): ooh interracial making outage and sandra oh de-scrubbage TioJaime858 (10:59:20 PM): hmm TioJaime858 (10:59:58 PM): this is a good show TioJaime858 (11:00:11 PM): they have a medical consultant, but unfortunately not a Seattle consultant. TioJaime858 (11:00:29 PM): i still maintain that i knew 3 black people in seattle TioJaime858 (11:00:39 PM): and one of them was bona fide African from africa TioJaime858 (11:00:54 PM): and another was actually caribbean or something TioJaime858 (11:01:00 PM): huge boobs, kinda dumb TioJaime858 has left the chat room.

And stupid doctors. You live there. Why don't you just go up to your room instead of getting all kinds of naked in your boss's boss's car. Nice job there.

Heh. And I thought the MiniTrue was a tough crowd...

Found some blog while checking out a referring URL that was a google search for "Bethany Whisper". Decided to post some basic right wing jimmy, just to stir the soup. Unfortunately, my comment is awaiting moderation. So I've printed it here, because ain't no way this one's getting past that little ignoramus of a LIbEral.

Original post here. Check it out. Yay for retarded children, likely the product of American public schools! did i mention yay?

My comment on this chick's blog...

Jihad Jimmy, Chief Defender of the Faith Says: Your comment is awaiting moderation. April 23rd, 2005 at 21:51 pm Wow, looks like you kids are getting stupider and stupider each day. I’m neither scared nor outraged. But don’t worry, I think I’ll sleep just fine w/o your pity. Since your pity is misguided and obviously rooted in a lack of understanding of issues of the world, you can go ahead and feel whatever you want towards whomever you want. Your indignance at the “brilliance” seems to be just that– indignance. No logic, no arguments, just good, old-fashioned emotion. Which is fine in the context of some little girl’s blog, but when you finally decide to come to the real world, you might want to try your hand at analytical reasoning and cognitive thought. debbie lemonhead - you’re a goddam genius. try letting up on the period key next time, ya? you didn’t seem to have the intended effect groovebunny - this is the nature of a lame duck politician. Or are you not aware how our political system works? And this is in texas. Did it never occur to you that Texans may just want this? It may not be that this is being covertly passed under their noses. The texans may simply not share your illogical, misprioritized worldview. Thank God. Daniel burns - the problem arises when every dumbfuck retard like yourself is allowed to procreate. And holy shit you’re a moron. We’re in the third millenium. Nice try, though, with the holier-than-thou. Go work on that. johnny huh - i like your style, man. ad hominem attacks and use of the f-word?. Fuck yeah, dude. =) I’d like to suggest though, that the dumbest act of the 21st century was nominating John Kerry. Because seriously, you lost to W. How the fuck did you manage to do that? I like your blue state elitism, I only wish that the rest of your comrades would follow suit. Keep it up.

I don't think that little chick's gonna publish that comment, do you? Hell, even the MiniTrue keeps all comments... this one here has to be my favorite though...

Funny comment on an old SHoP post

you'd think you would'nt like gyros since they are a middle eastern food, you sick racist piece of souless shit.

This angry, angry bad man's IP address can be found here. Heh.

For those of you white, self-righteous, and self-loathing liberals just joining the SHoP, I am more diverse than you and your thought police cronies could ever possibly hope to brainwash your little shitty offspring into becoming. I'm a racial minority, grew up with racial minority parents, went to school where diversity was valued above merit, and open my mind to different viewpoints.

Oh yeah, that's right. I used to buy the old, tired, dry, and parched LIbEral bee-ess about white people being bad and racist and how the earth is in danger because of bad, white racists using up all of the resources and building too many golf courses. Lucky for me, I came to the quick realization that my head was in my ass. Unfortunately, this realization came just right after the election of Bill Clin-tard.

Anycrap, yeah. I tried a different viewpoint-- which is a lot more than I can say for you LibEralS out there-- and found that it made a lot more sense than the bullshit drivel that has been pounded into our heads ever since the 60s.

There's your diversity right there. Strap on your kneepads and take a fucking number, because Republicans like me are popping up in the strangest of places.

And you're really starting to piss us off.

Jihad Jimmy, Chief Defender of the Faith

"NO WAR FOR OIL", eh? Heh, yeah that's pretty cute... or did you forget you were trying to push that line of crap on us?

Like I said before, "Next time you want to try to convince us that we went to War for Oil, try timing it next time so a gallon of 87 octane isn't gonna break the $3 cherry. Thanks, see you next time!"

Democruds Hit Bush on Gas Prices, Energy Plan

I'm confused now, I'm not sure which pesky democruds to swat at first. The ones complaining about paying almost $3/gallon for their SUVs? The ones still pissed about this War (which was Not The Answer, but try telling that to the Iraqis now risking life and limb to try to live their own free lives)?

Hold on a minute, there's a good quote from the P.J. O'Rourke book I've been reading the past week or so...

Excerpt from P.J. O'Rourke's The CEO of the Sofa, pg. 84

Since the time of Jimmy Carter, liberals have been chasing their tail, and, last heard, they'd caught it and begun eating and had chewed their way up to the back of their own ears.

The cool thing about this? President Bush, his Administration, the RNC, our Republican elected officials, and shit... you, LMHBrent, the Ministry of Truth, and I are just sitting here on a pleasant Satur-dee morning not doing a single thing. The democruds have gone and made themselves look like complete, bumbling dumbtards yet again.

Thank God that this doesn't get old. I was afraid it would when the Clin-tard didn't declare martial law in January 2001 to keep him in office Ferdinand-Marcos-style.

I just pray that there are some like-minded, common-sensical Undecideds out there (oh, no longer pissed at you, btw) who will think, "Well, shit, Bush is damned if he does, and damned if he doesn't. WTF? Eff that democrud noise!"

Is this asking a lot of you Undecideds who didn't know if you were Red or blue? **sighs** Yeah, but maybe those of you who were smart enough to find the SHoP will be able to hit this hanging sinker down the line for extra bases.

all my love,
Jihad Jimmy, Chief Defender of the Faith

Surprise! I'm an idiot!

Holy crap, I just found out that today's Fri-dee!!!

Honestly, I've been thinking it was Thursday all day. And even last night, I was thinking, ooh would I love to go to $3 Wednes-dee at the zoo, but no, I have work tomorrow morning. Thurs-dee.

So my manager was leaving a few minutes ago. "Have a nice weekend," he called to us.

"Oh, are you off tomorrow?" I asked him.

"Umm, tomorrow's Saturday, but you can come in if you want to," he said to me. Ha ha, pretty funny I thought.

So I figured I should show some initiative on his day off. "ForemanCasey didn't get back to me on those plans, but I'll touch base with the guys tomorrow."

He looked at me quizzically. "You can do that, but they're going to be very mad at you. Tomorrow's Saturday."

OK. WTF. And now, I'm just plain confused. I guess he wasn't kidding before. I look on my phone, see the date and confirm with my desk calendar. Whoa. Where the shit did that extra day go?

This explains a lot, now that I think about it. Earlier, I called Trosama min Asi about going to the zoo tonight. Thurs-dee night zoo w/Trose is a rarity, but I figured I'd ask just as a courtesy.

"Zoo tonight?"
"Sure. I gotta be home early."
"Yeah. Me too. What time you thinking?"
"Like around 1."
"Whoa. OK I was thinking like 10 or 11."

Sounds stupid, huh? OK now pretend you're me but you've had one of the biggest brain-farts in your life and think it's Thurs-dee. You should be really excited, much like I am right now!

Anycrap, happy Fri-dee! What a nice surprise. Hopefully I won't have to come in this weekend. Crap.

In the interests of fairness, I've awarded myself my special Garfield bookmark. yay.

all my love,
Jihad Jimmy, Chief Defender of the Faith

Unka Jimmy's Words of Wisdom

All you kids out there, pay attention in math. Sure it may seem stupid now, but Yes, You Will Use It Later in Life. Maybe not linear algebra or differential equations, because shit, you gotta be pretty hardcore to use that shit on a regular basis. I meant like basic algebra and geometry. And trigonometry, much like how eff-ing around with it right now as we speak. I'm off by four degrees, but oh what a world of Shit I am in, as this measly four degrees over eleven different angles now equates to an error of 32 feet over a distance of some 400 feet. This is bad. Imagine your car only starting 9 times out of 10. That's about the same kind of error we're I'm dealing with right now.

Four degrees. Over 11 angles. That's a margin of error of 21'49.09" i'm allowed for each angle.

FUCKING SHITTY PROTRACTOR ATE MY TINY MARGIN OF ERROR. ASSHOLE.

And if you're in school studying algebra and geometry and trignometry, what are you doing here anyway? I would hope that your parents are reading this over your shoulder, as the SHoP should be R-rated at best. Cock. Balls.

And if you're reading this over your kid's shoulder in an attempt to be an involved, concerned parent (My anti-drug is the SixHertz House of Pain! Also the Republican Party), HOLY CRAP IN A PITA WHAT KIND OF SHITTY PARENT ARE YOU?!? Are you letting your child read this in an attempt to diversify him/her/it with an abundance of different opinions and worldviews? Because, hey, good parenting skills there, my friend! Why don't you start saving up for your child's upcoming abortions?

Heh. The youngest person to read the SHoP is probably my little brother who is 14. Or 15. Or well shit i don't remember. I think he's 15. Yeah, that's the ticket. Anycrap, he's probably the youngest SHoPper, and even then he doesn't read this too often

But the moral is, yes, stay in school and learn your math, else you be short 30 feet on your prints.

---

One quick tip to help make the office day go a little more smoothly. When somebody gives you some paperwork for the job that your company has just been awarded and asks you, "Is that all you need for right now?" DO NOT start to complain that he/she has not brought you paperwork that will be due upon completion of this job weeks from now. Please fucking wait until the job has elapsed until you levy these complaints.

It will likely take all of the other person's will power not to yell at you, "THAT WASN'T MY QUESTION, DAMMIT. I ASKED YOU ABOUT RIGHT HERE, RIGHT NOW."

---

My first foray into the world of online Words of Wisdom is here. The headline pretty much sums it up. And there are some good driving tips here as well. Learn them. Know them. Live them.

OK gotta find those 32 feet. Well, actually if i added 15 there and changed the angles a bit, I should be OK. Don't repeat that.

Jihad Jimmy, Chief Defender of the Faith

Don't you dumb-holes have anything better to be doing?

Hey, here's an idea. Instead of all you Little Brains out there wasting time criticizing my Church's choice in Pontiff, why don't you do something more productive like criticize my Nation's choice in President. At least that way you won't come off looking like a total ignoramus.

This is pretty much directed towards you non-Catholic Little Brains. You know who you are. I have been trying to understand, but still have yet to fathom just exactly how Pope Benedict's election will effect you. It's not even going to effect me. Yet here you are, complaining that he's an arch-conservative, German who doesn't like homosexuality. A good equivalent would be a Californian through-and-through like myself complaining about the election of the new governor of Tennessee because of his stance on tobacco farming. Holy dog shit, I'm so far removed from that. Quite frankly the only connection I can think that I might have to that is either a) longtime jimmy-favorite stripper Rose, who was from Memphis, or b) Farah, the new Syrian Muslim doorgirl at Broadway Showgirls who recently moved here from Memphis. Neither of them smoke. Or vote in Tennessee to my knowledge.

Simply put: If I don't care who my new pope is, why the hell should you non-Catholics? I'd be worried if he called me to retake the Holy Land, sure, but that's a long shot. I'd probably have a better chance of hitting (and consequently pressing) the 6 or the 8 like 30 times before I'm called away to a Holy War. And if it did, I'd probably be more concerned with a) forming Jihad Jimmy's Infidel Brigade's Covert-Ops Construction Cell, or more importantly b) making out West Side Story style with Farah, the new Syrian Muslim doorgirl at Broadway Showgirls who recently moved here from Memphis. Did I mention that she looks like my HS friend's mom?

If you're Catholic and don't like our new Pope, I have an entirely different set of issues with you. You aren't a dumbtard-- begin by taking solace in that-- but dude, get a fucking clue! The concerns of a few liberal American Catholics? Doesn't mean shit, especially to somebody who has an entire fucking religion to run. This is your problem right here: for some stupid reason or another, you think that everything has to be a democracy. (Even America, fucktard, which is a Republic.) This is Catholicism, this isn't a democracy. You know that whole "separation of Church and State" that you get all snippy about (which, btw, is nowhere to be found in the Constitution and is best left to another post)? Again, get a fucking clue! If you're smart enough to try to use the phrase "separation of church and state" you should be smart enough to realize that there is no Nation of Catholicism. Get Bent.

If you don't like it/him, fucking leave already. Nobody's gonna stop you. This isn't like South Carolina seceding from the Nation. We really don't give a fuck if you stay or if you go. Shit, you're one less idiot I have to deal with at Mass.

Dominus Vobiscum, shithead

Jihad Jimmy, Chief Defender of the Faith

Live 3am Criticism of TAR7, episode 8

Come join me. Provided you're on the Left Coast.

3am Criticism in progress!!! of The Amazing Race 7, episode 8

You are now in chat room “tar7ep8.” TioJaime858 has entered the chat room. TioJaime858 (9:00:11 PM): PREVIOUSLY ON TAR TioJaime858 (9:00:16 PM): 5 TEAMS SET out from botswana TioJaime858 (9:00:19 PM): raced to india TioJaime858 (9:00:44 PM): did i mention, yay for gay? TioJaime858 (9:00:50 PM): place bets now TioJaime858 (9:00:55 PM): who will piss me off first after the theme song? TioJaime858 (9:01:07 PM): a) rob-tard TioJaime858 (9:01:10 PM): or b) the gays TioJaime858 (9:01:19 PM): or c) ron-kelly TioJaime858 (9:01:41 PM): A! MAZE! ING! AMAZXING TioJaime858 (9:01:43 PM): A! MAZE! ING! AMAZING! TioJaime858 (9:01:47 PM): A! MAZE! ING! TioJaime858 (9:01:47 PM): AMAZING TioJaime858 (9:01:55 PM): A! MAZE! ING! TioJaime858 (9:01:55 PM): AMAZING TioJaime858 (9:01:59 PM): A! MAZING RACE! TioJaime858 (9:02:03 PM): A! MAZING RACE! TioJaime858 (9:02:08 PM): A! MAZING RACE! TioJaime858 (9:02:12 PM): A! MAZE! ING! TioJaime858 (9:02:16 PM): AMAZING! TioJaime858 (9:02:23 PM): A! MAZE! ING! AMZING! ManWithHugeCock has entered the chat room. ManWithHugeCock (9:03:06 PM): wha? Poke00210 (9:03:06 PM): hello dere ManWithHugeCock (9:03:11 PM): you's in here twice Poke00210 (9:03:17 PM): yeah Poke00210 (9:03:20 PM): SHIT I DID IT AGAIN TioJaime858 (9:03:27 PM): sorry i meant to use this name ManWithHugeCock (9:04:28 PM): what are you doing this for? ManWithHugeCock (9:04:38 PM): chatting with yourself TioJaime858 (9:04:47 PM): yeah ManWithHugeCock (9:04:49 PM): kinda scary TioJaime858 (9:04:52 PM): doing the 3am criticism of The Amazing Race TioJaime858 (9:04:59 PM): they're in lucknow, India ManWithHugeCock (9:05:07 PM): who ManWithHugeCock (9:05:08 PM): a ManWithHugeCock (9:05:13 PM): whoa TioJaime858 (9:05:14 PM): go to platform 2 in the lucknow train statino ManWithHugeCock (9:05:19 PM): i been there ManWithHugeCock (9:05:21 PM): lucknow TioJaime858 (9:05:24 PM): just a bunch of americans running around raicing TioJaime858 (9:05:42 PM): you should check this show out TioJaime858 (9:05:55 PM): it's the only quality reality show out there TioJaime858 (9:06:11 PM): fags getting their next clue ManWithHugeCock (9:06:32 PM): it's no american idol TioJaime858 (9:06:34 PM): wow that was a long task TioJaime858 (9:06:44 PM): umm, i'm gonna have to edit that out of the SHoP TioJaime858 (9:06:54 PM): lest we start getting hits from American Idolators TioJaime858 (9:07:13 PM): shit, he mumbled something about the gays TioJaime858 (9:08:00 PM): heh, phil tricked the old team ManWithHugeCock (9:08:13 PM): I've never seen it TioJaime858 (9:08:17 PM): LOL cunt, you're bottlenecking again TioJaime858 (9:08:21 PM): you ever watch survivor? ManWithHugeCock (9:08:29 PM): no TioJaime858 (9:08:36 PM): OK TioJaime858 (9:08:41 PM): the mole? ManWithHugeCock (9:08:46 PM): The dude who cuts my hair talks about amazing race ManWithHugeCock (9:08:47 PM): no ManWithHugeCock (9:08:49 PM): sorry TioJaime858 (9:09:01 PM): what do you watch besides the shitty FOX reality shows? TioJaime858 (9:09:14 PM): and oh it's tim for the crowded indian train ManWithHugeCock (9:09:25 PM): Reality shows, or all shows? TioJaime858 (9:09:28 PM): that's creepy TioJaime858 (9:09:32 PM): reality ManWithHugeCock (9:09:53 PM): i don't know if i watch any TioJaime858 (9:09:59 PM): search for your next clue at jagpur train station? TioJaime858 (9:10:12 PM): they're taking a train from lucknow for 24 hours to jagpur? TioJaime858 (9:10:17 PM): yeah shut up you fag ManWithHugeCock (9:10:43 PM): trains can take days in india ManWithHugeCock (9:10:53 PM): delhi to bombay is like 2 days I thinkk TioJaime858 (9:11:09 PM): yeah in all of the seasons i've seen so far, whenever they go to india they take long-assed train rids TioJaime858 (9:11:22 PM): and sometimes-- Jodphur-- TioJaime858 (9:11:33 PM): sometims they're packed trains TioJaime858 (9:11:38 PM): go to the sardar market TioJaime858 (9:11:52 PM): ha ha fags in last place TioJaime858 (9:12:11 PM): ha ha fuck you rob-tard TioJaime858 (9:12:26 PM): ha ha they're bottlenecking again ManWithHugeCock (9:13:07 PM): dammit....in my fantasy baseball league...I have adam dunn and Giambi....whoever i put on the bench hits a homerun TioJaime858 (9:13:11 PM): fuck you you bostonian fuckwad TioJaime858 (9:13:15 PM): oh that sucks ManWithHugeCock (9:13:23 PM): dunn had 2 yesterday ManWithHugeCock (9:13:29 PM): giambi 1 today TioJaime858 (9:13:31 PM): i beat the rockies 6-4 today ManWithHugeCock (9:13:43 PM): the dodgers are looking good ManWithHugeCock (9:13:45 PM): 11-2 TioJaime858 (9:13:51 PM): shit TioJaime858 (9:13:52 PM): i know ManWithHugeCock (9:14:05 PM): A's are only 7-7 TioJaime858 (9:14:25 PM): la la la, the bostonian fucklord has an indian helper dude named sanjay TioJaime858 (9:14:32 PM): wow he's so fucking conniving i could shit my pants TioJaime858 (9:14:39 PM): ooh fast forward ManWithHugeCock (9:14:45 PM): ok man TioJaime858 (9:14:48 PM): This is the second of only two Fast Forwards hidden on the entire race ManWithHugeCock (9:14:54 PM): i gotta up early and go to school ManWithHugeCock (9:14:57 PM): fucking finals TioJaime858 (9:14:58 PM): yeah, it helps if you're actually in the same time zone watching the show ManWithHugeCock (9:15:11 PM): ttyl TioJaime858 (9:15:11 PM): they have to shave their heads hindu-style TioJaime858 (9:15:17 PM): OK baby, will talk to you in a bit ManWithHugeCock has left the chat room. TioJaime858 (9:15:36 PM): and really, what kind of a stupid fast forward is this? TioJaime858 (9:15:40 PM): oh sorry detour TioJaime858 (9:15:45 PM): two tasks TioJaime858 (9:15:49 PM): each w/its own prs and cons TioJaime858 (9:15:50 PM): la la TioJaime858 (9:15:53 PM): trunk or dunk TioJaime858 (9:16:25 PM): yay do the elephant TioJaime858 (9:16:45 PM): oh yay the fags and the shooting blancks are doing the fast forward TioJaime858 (9:16:55 PM): and the rob-tard isn't doing the fast forward TioJaime858 (9:17:16 PM): yay for fags getting a taxi TioJaime858 (9:17:46 PM): oh sweet! maybe this is where the fags get booted TioJaime858 (9:18:03 PM): and i swear to fuck if this is another non-elimination round i'm gonna be sorely pissed TioJaime858 (9:18:36 PM): oh yay i got to touch some old white woman's butt TioJaime858 (9:18:53 PM): oh you worldy fags TioJaime858 (9:19:45 PM): Ok and now TAR is finally condoning the exploitation of locals TioJaime858 (9:19:51 PM): ha ha fuck you rob-tard TioJaime858 (9:20:00 PM): yay fabulous! TioJaime858 (9:20:09 PM): "I wanna ride on top alex!" TioJaime858 (9:20:40 PM): how did the fags do it so quickly TioJaime858 (9:20:45 PM): push the elephant, i mean TioJaime858 (9:20:55 PM): oh please, a gnome commercial? TioJaime858 (9:20:56 PM): yay! TioJaime858 (9:21:06 PM): wow i wanna take a hammer to my new TV TioJaime858 (9:21:13 PM): fuck you gnome TioJaime858 (9:24:01 PM): Locusts! TioJaime858 (9:24:05 PM): umm, Nocusts! TioJaime858 (9:24:35 PM): dude, just get the fuck out of the elephant you dumbass TioJaime858 (9:24:48 PM): yeah great TioJaime858 (9:24:52 PM): and shut up you bostard TioJaime858 (9:26:04 PM): and what's the big deal w/this headshaving shit? TioJaime858 (9:26:10 PM): oh ha ha no more models TioJaime858 (9:26:16 PM): just some janky beauty queen TioJaime858 (9:26:26 PM): teams must now ttravel to a deora krishi farm TioJaime858 (9:26:32 PM): by way of rickshaw TioJaime858 (9:26:55 PM): you anoying pigfucker TioJaime858 (9:27:18 PM): wrong temple TioJaime858 (9:27:21 PM): d'oh TioJaime858 (9:27:35 PM): yay, if only these little indian dudes knew they were catching the gay TioJaime858 (9:29:10 PM): well christ, it's about time TioJaime858 (9:29:14 PM): yeah no shit TioJaime858 (9:29:19 PM): and double no shit TioJaime858 (9:29:22 PM): you could've helped push TioJaime858 (9:29:31 PM): perhps you should've realized this 10 minutes ago TioJaime858 (9:29:38 PM): Roadblock TioJaime858 (9:29:44 PM): a roadblock is a task that only one person may perform TioJaime858 (9:29:47 PM): race camel carts TioJaime858 (9:29:56 PM): clue from the camel master TioJaime858 (9:30:12 PM): GODDAMIT TioJaime858 (9:30:15 PM): c'mon BABY TioJaime858 (9:30:21 PM): said the retarded POW TioJaime858 (9:30:44 PM): yeah take that fags TioJaime858 (9:31:10 PM): el camel es muy pissed TioJaime858 (9:31:35 PM): what's making you sick? the camel or your spread-eagled GF? TioJaime858 (9:31:59 PM): yeah make the dude ride the camel TioJaime858 (9:32:03 PM): the dude named meredith, btw TioJaime858 (9:32:18 PM): oh wow joyce boobs TioJaime858 (9:32:30 PM): BFD they're gonna shave your heads TioJaime858 (9:32:44 PM): and now she's pissed TioJaime858 (9:35:11 PM): oh hi boots TioJaime858 (9:36:02 PM): did she just say the eff word TioJaime858 (9:36:05 PM): and she's pissed TioJaime858 (9:36:11 PM): LOL his head's already shaved TioJaime858 (9:36:45 PM): wow TioJaime858 (9:37:06 PM): poor joyce TioJaime858 (9:37:26 PM): wow she's been so cheery up until this point TioJaime858 (9:37:51 PM): and really, what's with the fascination of shaving your head in a foreign country? TioJaime858 (9:38:05 PM): shit, i'll shave my back in a fast forward if i need to TioJaime858 (9:38:13 PM): shave my ass and walk backwards for a week TioJaime858 (9:38:23 PM): fuck you camel! i'm gonna shave your head! TioJaime858 (9:39:17 PM): oh she doesn't look so bad TioJaime858 (9:39:25 PM): actually that's somewhat of an improvement TioJaime858 (9:39:37 PM): her hair was kinda wack-tastic before TioJaime858 (9:40:15 PM): jaswant thada next pitstop TioJaime858 (9:40:29 PM): last team to check in may be philiminiated TioJaime858 (9:40:44 PM): heh now in her interviews she has no hair TioJaime858 (9:40:51 PM): there BABY TioJaime858 (9:40:54 PM): fuck you ron TioJaime858 (9:41:01 PM): oh i forgot to end betting huh TioJaime858 (9:41:29 PM): "honey that hurt my bottom so bad" TioJaime858 (9:41:36 PM): that was kelly, not the gays, btw TioJaime858 (9:41:45 PM): and that's not much of a fast forward TioJaime858 (9:41:56 PM): yeah fuck you amber TioJaime858 (9:42:20 PM): heh, and gretchen is laughing at you TioJaime858 (9:42:25 PM): oh please eliminate the fags TioJaime858 (9:43:05 PM): heh, those who live by the camel shall perish by the camel TioJaime858 (9:43:15 PM): those who live by the obstinate camel shall perish by the obstinate camel TioJaime858 (9:43:39 PM): you should shave meredith's head TioJaime858 (9:43:54 PM): no please philiminate the fags TioJaime858 (9:44:13 PM): yeah uChenna/jOyce will be first TioJaime858 (9:44:29 PM): old team in last place TioJaime858 (9:44:49 PM): i hope the old team can be fourth TioJaime858 (9:45:04 PM): that'll put them right w/danny & oswald TioJaime858 (9:45:10 PM): oh no are you fags lost? TioJaime858 (9:45:36 PM): eff you, you gay gnome TioJaime858 (9:45:39 PM): gay-nome TioJaime858 (9:47:16 PM): great another shitty commercial with a shitty toddler making a mess TioJaime858 (9:47:23 PM): is this supposed to be cute? TioJaime858 (9:47:35 PM): that's not cute TioJaime858 (9:47:55 PM): tell you what if you think it's so fucking cute, why don't you come over when i have a child and she's made a mess TioJaime858 (9:47:58 PM): and fuck you baby bob TioJaime858 (9:48:24 PM): you're the man now, dog TioJaime858 (9:48:39 PM): oh teh locusts are resistant to all pesticides TioJaime858 (9:48:47 PM): yeah try a shotgun on teh fucking locusts TioJaime858 (9:48:51 PM): FUCK TRY NAPALM TioJaime858 (9:48:57 PM): gays are still lost TioJaime858 (9:49:01 PM): and their taxi's gone? TioJaime858 (9:49:03 PM): oh no not yet TioJaime858 (9:49:13 PM): oh please please please get philiminated TioJaime858 (9:49:28 PM): queer TioJaime858 (9:49:42 PM): and you also have a dumbass who rode your elephant TioJaime858 (9:49:44 PM): heh TioJaime858 (9:49:49 PM): gotta fill up TioJaime858 (9:50:01 PM): oh ron'spissed TioJaime858 (9:50:11 PM): still, eff you and eff all your families TioJaime858 (9:50:16 PM): let's talk about the game TioJaime858 (9:50:29 PM): nice TioJaime858 (9:50:37 PM): Welcome to jadphur india TioJaime858 (9:50:41 PM): uChenna/Joyce team #1 TioJaime858 (9:50:52 PM): wow what a cool chick TioJaime858 (9:51:13 PM): oh eff you TioJaime858 (9:51:21 PM): notice they don't tell you who the third one is TioJaime858 (9:51:39 PM): ha ha TioJaime858 (9:51:46 PM): fuck younice use of color TioJaime858 (9:52:08 PM): ron/kelly team #2 rob-tard team #3 TioJaime858 (9:52:28 PM): oh please get rid of the fags TioJaime858 (9:52:50 PM): and now i'm thinking about that old dude w/the ugly chick TioJaime858 (9:52:56 PM): that old dude who didn't want to lose to the old team TioJaime858 (9:53:03 PM): who's laughing now, huh? TioJaime858 (9:53:07 PM): OH YES TioJaime858 (9:53:11 PM): OLD TEAM! TioJaime858 (9:53:19 PM): MEREDITH GRETCHEN TEAM #4!!! TioJaime858 (9:53:23 PM): NICE FUCKING JOB TioJaime858 (9:53:31 PM): HOLY SHIT TioJaime858 (9:53:33 PM): holy shit TioJaime858 (9:53:41 PM): ooh very special? TioJaime858 (9:53:43 PM): yep TioJaime858 (9:53:53 PM): officially the oldest team to make it this far TioJaime858 (9:54:11 PM): fags, last team to arrive TioJaime858 (9:54:13 PM): ... TioJaime858 (9:54:23 PM): I'M SORRY TO TELL YOU YOU'VE BOTH BEEN PHILIMINATED FROM THE RACE TioJaime858 (9:54:28 PM): OH MOST GLORIOUS GLORIOUS GLORIOUS DAY TioJaime858 (9:54:35 PM): OH YES TioJaime858 (9:54:53 PM): MAN THAT WAS THE BEST SPLIT SECOND OF TV I'VE SEEN ALL YEAR TioJaime858 (9:55:03 PM): YEAH FUCK YOU GAYS TioJaime858 (9:55:06 PM): FUCK YOU GAYS!!! TioJaime858 (9:55:13 PM): stay chuned for scenes from our next episode TioJaime858 (9:55:41 PM): that was shitty TioJaime858 (9:55:44 PM): and a talking dog commercial TioJaime858 (9:55:48 PM): with a shitty parody TioJaime858 (9:55:52 PM): could be worse TioJaime858 (9:55:56 PM): could be baby bob TioJaime858 (9:55:59 PM): "tent pitching" TioJaime858 (9:56:03 PM): and puppies are cute TioJaime858 (9:56:21 PM): nice shitty photoshopping there, KFC TioJaime858 (9:56:35 PM): see? if i tivo'd this shit, we'd be losing so much TioJaime858 (9:57:00 PM): why do i want to be molested by melina kanakaredes TioJaime858 (9:57:12 PM): On the next episode of TAR TioJaime858 (9:57:25 PM): heh blind leading the blind TioJaime858 (9:57:35 PM): oh you dumb cunt TioJaime858 (10:25:57 PM): sorry, phone rang TioJaime858 (10:26:18 PM): kelly said something stupid and cunty like "you got out of the military by being a POW" TioJaime858 (10:26:26 PM): anyway, see you next week... TioJaime858 has left the chat room.

Habemus Papem, motherfuckers!

No real news about the new Pope just yet. Really, i just wanted to make a list of things that (may) sound cooler with ", motherfucker(s)!" appended to the end. And some of these may be from an issue of the Heuristic Squelch (UC Berkeley's humor magazine)from waaay back when... my apologies if i subconsciously stole your material...

and i'm going to abbreviate it to emm-effer. enjoy

"Feel the Force, emm-effer!" (from American Jedi)
"I love you, emm-effer!" (might be from the Squelch)
"You effed my mother, emm-effer!" (definitely from the Squelch)
"Would you like to buy a dance, emm-effer?"
"You're the next contestant on The Price is Right, emm-effer!"
"...O'er the Land of the Free, / and the Home of the Brave, emm-effer!"
"You may now kiss the bride, emm-effer!"
"Thank you for calling Tele-bears, emm-effer!" (you won't get this unless you went to Cal a few years ago. I'm told it's online now, no more phone-in scheduling)

That's all I got for now. Please feel free to add your own in the comments. Swear at your own risk while in the domain of MiniTrue.

And still no news of our new Pontiff. Not that I'm in any rush. This won't change too much in terms of us rank-and-file Catholics. People will still park in the fire lanes at church. Kids will still make too much noise during Mass. Dumb Catholics will still not move to the center of the unoccupied pew and make me step over them and then I trip on the kneeler and then blaspheme in the House of God on the Sabbath.

Really, it's not a lot to get excited about. I'm more excited about Mariners/A's this weekend.

Jihad Jimmy, Chief Defender of the Faith

Where did'ja come from, / Where did'ja go? / Where did'ja come from SHoPper-eyed Joe?

The SHoP is now getting visitors who googled for wacky and zany combinations of the following:

Marisa Miller
Perfect 10
amazing race
hayden
boobs
cleavage
NCIS theme song

But this next one puzzles me. What the hell were you trying to say, man? My God!

Search Engine: google.co.uk
Search Words: critical mastercard tv advertising of football two side one game priceless

This reminds me of a Don and Mike sound clip i recently made...

Excerpt from D&M soundclip "Sopranos News" from 28 June 2004

Mike O'Meara: You know what sentence you just said? You said, "He was the guy that was saying all the people that had the cancer when the boss was dying, you know." What the hell does that mean?

Next one is just as confusing.

Search Engine: search.yahoo.com
Search Words: fucking damn!for those people who get confused, Jaime is in the m

And now I'm falling asleep. Tomorrow is another day, SHoPpers...

Jihad Jimmy, Chief Defender of the Faith

More Photoshop Phun

Tears of an Assclown

No, this wasn't Photoshopped. This was M$ Painted.

Pulled the original from MiniTrue's original post here.

If, like me, you aren't too handy with Photoshop, you can either enlist one of your friends, or you can just make an actual 20' banner that reads "EFF YOU MICHAEL MOORE".

Either way, hilarity ensues.

I am Laughing Wild amidst severest woe,
Jihad Jimmy, Chief Defender of the Faith

ps- for those of you unawares, my use of"eff" and "ess" is in no way a capitulation to the Ministry of Truth. That form of cussing is a tribute to my favorite radio show-- The Don and Mike Show, a nationally syndicated regional show.

Assclowns, Assclowns everywhere and shit I'm out of ammo...

I would've just stuck this in MiniTrue's comments for his last post, but really I'd think that this deserves its own follow-up post. That and I'm sure I can stick a picture or two to make it all nice-nice.

Let's just say that Jihad Jimmy and other likeminded hardcore Republicans weren't around. I dunno, use your imagination. We're all permanently in Las Vegas or something. Come find me at the craps tables at New York, New York where their complimentary scotch is The Glenlivet. God, I hope I get to go to Vicetivus V.

Anyway, the only Republicans around are you softcore, holier-than-thou, ess-doesn't-stink Republican'ts. And you're driving to and from work in the San Fran-effing-cisco Bay Area and oh yay, you're bombarded with these stupid signs all over overpases and pedestrian bridges and even a block up the hill from Larry's in North Beach. I actually saw this one at the top of Kearny... cops around, though, else you would've seen me in that pic.

Anycrap so there you are. You're driving by these stupid signs and instead of making you think enlightened thoughts, they're actually driving up your blood pressure each and every time you drive by them. You go home, yell at your wife for effing up the chicken pot pie, kick your bichon frise, and then keel over from a heart attack. And why? Because none of you Republican'ts could be bothered to take down a simple sign. These simpleton idiots were able to put it up, but you didn't even care enough about your wife and bichon frise to remedy that. And don't give me that "I have a job and these hippies don't" boolsheet because my friend, The Life You Save May Be Your Own. (I know you english majors wet your panties whenever this engineer-in-training tosses a Flannery O'Connor reference your way.)

[ThankYouCaptainObvious]This is a worst-case scenario, of course.[/ThankYouCaptainObvious] This should still illustrate my point though. If all of us Republicans take the High Road who will take down that sign? It offends no one, sure, but you're the one who's one step closer to that heart attack.

---

9:56am - Ok gotta go out to the field to pick up prints, look at two jobs, and then go to Westlake Joe's for lunch. No really, it's in the area. The first job is by Trosama min Asi's childhood home, and the other 13 mins away towards SFO. Joe's is just between them. And I'll be there around lunchtime. Oh most glorious, glorious day!

---

2:46pm - Yet again have my attempts at a Westlake Joe's lunch been thwarted. One of my foremen has already looked at the two jobs on the peninsula, and as such I stayed in the east bay. Dammit

---

Look, my point is, the reality of this culture war is that you need guerillas such as myself to do your dirty work. I was once like you. Indignant at liberal media bias, and oh such high hopes I once held for the common american. Eh. Eff it. Eff the liberal media-- I'll just listen to right wing radio where they admit and are comfortable w/their obvious bias. Eff the common American-- you're going to elect Hilliary Clintard and there's nothing I can do about it. Hopefully I'll be able to shame you after the fact once you realize how much of a dumbfuck you are, but that's just wishful thinking.

We will be embroiled in the Culture War much longer than any Iraq war this my beloved Vast Right Wing Conspiracy can cook up in the interests of protecting our SUV-lovin', Assault Rifle totin', Jeebus-praisin' Red American ways. (And note to liberal media-tards: Next time you want to try to convince us that we went to War for Oil, try timing it next time so a gallon of 87 octane isn't gonna break the $3 cherry. Thanks, see you next time!) It is my sincere hope that many more of you nice-nice republicans learn to play a little dirty and start taking the war back to the politically retarded. You can complain until you're blue in the face that the hippies are taking over, but until you start ripping signs out of hippie hands and shoving them up hippie butts, all you can do in the meantime is sit in the safety of your home and read all about it on the SHoP.

Reason won't work. Indignance won't work. And even peaceful protest won't work. Did it work on you? No. And you're smarter than they are. You wanna get a message through to a bunch of immature, spoiled brats who now have their choice between two presidential elections about which to whine? Try spray paint. At the very least it'll make you feel better.

Just look at the effing smile on my face. Ear to ear, baby.

Jihad Jimmy, Chief Defender of the Faith

Dance Dance Revolution, Baby!!!

If you don't have the sense of humor to find this funny, then you shouldn't be here:

SixHertz = Church-going Catholic, Minister of Truth
Can'tHoldHisLiquor = My friend, who happens to be Jewish

[04 18 - 10:54.14] SixHertz: So I'm thinking SNL could really do a good spoof of the Papal Conclave voting.
[04 18 - 10:54.27] Can'tHoldHisLiquor: hah
[04 18 - 10:54.32] SixHertz: imagine if you will, the cardinals closing the door to the enclave....
[04 18 - 10:54.42] SixHertz: THEN DANCE, DANCE REVOLUTION, BABY!
[04 18 - 10:54.50] Can'tHoldHisLiquor: that's good :)
[04 18 - 10:55.05] SixHertz: With the music to Six Flags in the background
[04 18 - 10:55.37] SixHertz: (The Venga Bus is Coming)

Assclowns a-plenty

Well, take a look at these libertards. How on earth do people take these nut-munchers seriously? I'll tell you how. You stick an inordinate amount of them in a place such as the San Francisco Bay Area, then throw in the psychological effect known as "group think". These assclowns, as a consequence, associate only with the members of their own retarded, pot-smoking, hippie bunch. They throw around their hatred for Judeo-Christian moraility, draw insanely stupid parallels to make it seem like their arguments make sense, and do things that would burn bridges between themselves and any other normal person. Then they cry foul when things, unimaginably, don't go their way.

Dumbasses, you just don't get it, do you? Why don't you pack up your hemp sacks with your tie-dyed t-shirts and patchouli oil, sell your Prius, then move your ass across the Atlantic. Then, when the Wahabi Islamic fanatics finally take over Europe, you can see who your real enemy is. Because you need to look a whole lot further back than Vietnam to really prevent a repeat of history. You just don't know what Islam is capable of.

Dual Live 3amC of Grey's Anatomy!

Not just a 3am criticism.

Not just a live 3am criticism.

Oh no, motherfuckers. We have a DUAL Live 3am Criticism of Grey's Anatomy, episode 4. Bow Down to Washingtonia.

Dual Live 3am Criticism of Grey's Anatomy, episode 4!

You are now in chat room “gaep4.” TioJaime has entered the chat room. TioJaime (10:00:41 PM): OK i had two more minutes thani thought TioJaime (10:00:50 PM): and LMHBrent is somewhere around here LMHBrent has left the chat room. TioJaime (10:01:51 PM): ooh yeah TioJaime (10:02:32 PM): huh? TioJaime (10:02:34 PM): what was that TioJaime (10:02:36 PM): goddamit LMHBrent has entered the chat room. LMHBrent (10:02:39 PM): hello? TioJaime (10:02:44 PM): what happened? TioJaime (10:02:45 PM): underwear? TioJaime (10:02:52 PM): you fucker, i missed herunderwear LMHBrent (10:02:53 PM): tampons LMHBrent (10:02:54 PM): hello kitty LMHBrent (10:03:16 PM): blackt0r TioJaime (10:03:19 PM): i hate that frat ass TioJaime (10:03:24 PM): blackt0r 1! LMHBrent (10:03:32 PM): why is that important? LMHBrent (10:03:48 PM): 3 rounds done by 5:30am TioJaime (10:03:49 PM): nice tat LMHBrent (10:03:51 PM): damn that's early LMHBrent (10:04:04 PM): horse girl's day TioJaime (10:04:11 PM): i thought you liked sandra oh LMHBrent (10:04:25 PM): she's not cute, but okay. she's growing on me TioJaime (10:04:35 PM): she's no ellen pompeo TioJaime (10:04:36 PM): but she'll do TioJaime (10:04:46 PM): did you watch Dancing at the Blue Iguana yet? LMHBrent (10:04:50 PM): "he slept with one of the interns" TioJaime (10:05:22 PM): ooh yeah asian doctor TioJaime (10:05:39 PM): i wanna lick her boobs LMHBrent (10:05:43 PM): blurse? TioJaime (10:05:43 PM): and another black person LMHBrent (10:05:45 PM): black nurse? TioJaime (10:05:55 PM): dude this show is so goddam fake TioJaime (10:06:07 PM): i knew like 2 black people in seattle LMHBrent (10:06:14 PM): there's a lot of fakeness in this series TioJaime (10:06:36 PM): ooh yeah TioJaime (10:06:50 PM): oh yesh TioJaime (10:06:54 PM): WTF? LMHBrent (10:06:58 PM): oh damn TioJaime (10:07:00 PM): why did he jax0r to her earlier? LMHBrent (10:07:00 PM): she did a thing LMHBrent (10:07:14 PM): she's so renee zellwegger TioJaime (10:07:36 PM): the nerd-dude is gonna get to poke the model-doctor LMHBrent (10:07:38 PM): izzy the flesh baring doctor TioJaime (10:08:01 PM): whoa sweet LMHBrent (10:08:02 PM): oh crap LMHBrent (10:08:02 PM): that sucks TioJaime (10:08:08 PM): OK and this intro is stupid LMHBrent (10:08:13 PM): no body knows where they might end up LMHBrent (10:08:15 PM): no body knows LMHBrent (10:08:23 PM): it's like house, but not as cool LMHBrent (10:08:24 PM): house intro TioJaime (10:08:30 PM): wha, no black people in the intro? LMHBrent (10:08:31 PM): oh oh suppose you'll never know LMHBrent (10:08:33 PM): AHAHHAAH TioJaime (10:08:34 PM): what's house? LMHBrent (10:08:40 PM): house is a medical drama on fox LMHBrent (10:08:55 PM): okay so anyway, wassuppers? TioJaime (10:09:04 PM): yo--suppers TioJaime (10:09:14 PM): my watches were fast.... i actually had 2 mins to go LMHBrent (10:09:23 PM): oh reawly? TioJaime (10:09:27 PM): oh yesh LMHBrent (10:09:29 PM): it's good to have fast watches TioJaime (10:09:39 PM): yes, thank you eireann rae LMHBrent (10:09:47 PM): i think when you invite me as TioJaime, it doesn't work TioJaime (10:09:56 PM): i can't LMHBrent (10:09:57 PM): but when you invite me as poke, it goes through TioJaime (10:10:06 PM): i'm logged in to both iChat and AIM TioJaime (10:10:20 PM): i set up the chat through AIM, but invited you and myself in iChat LMHBrent (10:10:37 PM): oh really TioJaime (10:10:39 PM): because inputting in iChat is easier since i don't have to use the keypad to send TioJaime (10:10:42 PM): and we're back LMHBrent (10:10:46 PM): good point TioJaime (10:10:49 PM): oh yesh he's conscious TioJaime (10:11:01 PM): jorge cruz! LMHBrent (10:11:03 PM): nailgun TioJaime (10:11:05 PM): no es bueno TioJaime (10:11:47 PM): that must muy suck LMHBrent (10:11:52 PM): muy sucko TioJaime (10:11:54 PM): blackt0r 3 TioJaime (10:12:04 PM): blackt0r 2 LMHBrent (10:12:10 PM): agressive little witch TioJaime (10:12:22 PM): WTF, 3 black people and only one korean? TioJaime (10:12:27 PM): this is shit LMHBrent (10:12:29 PM): yeah damn LMHBrent (10:12:45 PM): nail nails TioJaime (10:13:03 PM): ooh enema LMHBrent (10:13:05 PM): enema LMHBrent (10:13:07 PM): nice TioJaime (10:13:09 PM): blenema LMHBrent (10:13:13 PM): take care of her TioJaime (10:13:15 PM): good call blackt0r LMHBrent (10:13:22 PM): awww yang has institution TioJaime (10:13:32 PM): heh, funny mexicans LMHBrent (10:13:33 PM): headaches TioJaime (10:13:34 PM): mexican TioJaime (10:13:42 PM): "why do you think they call it a gun you moron?" LMHBrent (10:13:45 PM): "with good reason" TioJaime (10:13:46 PM): (read w/a mexican accent TioJaime (10:13:49 PM): ooh hi LMHBrent (10:13:54 PM): in bed LMHBrent (10:13:56 PM): so much trouble in bed LMHBrent (10:14:17 PM): nerd and frat guys yay! TioJaime (10:14:27 PM): i hate that frat dude LMHBrent (10:14:29 PM): me too TioJaime (10:14:32 PM): ooh sexy underwear LMHBrent (10:14:39 PM): "hello kitty" underwear TioJaime (10:15:00 PM): whoa, was ellen pompeo also walking around in her underwear? LMHBrent (10:15:00 PM): dude that guy is giving him ideas LMHBrent (10:15:04 PM): no just izzy LMHBrent (10:15:14 PM): blackt0r1 TioJaime (10:15:22 PM): izzy was in that movie "My Dad the Hero" LMHBrent (10:15:27 PM): oh my god TioJaime (10:15:27 PM): whoa LMHBrent (10:15:31 PM): prostate biopsy TioJaime (10:15:32 PM): stirrups TioJaime (10:15:46 PM): heh LMHBrent (10:15:51 PM): relax! hehe TioJaime (10:16:00 PM): yeah she's mexican LMHBrent (10:16:09 PM): mexidude with dcams LMHBrent (10:16:17 PM): mexiheadaches TioJaime (10:16:19 PM): well i suppose in Seattle they're not as tan as californixicans LMHBrent (10:16:23 PM): i love those blue eyes LMHBrent (10:16:27 PM): yeah true huh LMHBrent (10:16:35 PM): i guess we weren't as dark as we could have been, as filipinos TioJaime (10:16:49 PM): dark chocolates LMHBrent (10:17:12 PM): "easy is not in your job description" TioJaime (10:17:23 PM): blackt0r! LMHBrent (10:17:30 PM): crack that whip TioJaime (10:17:55 PM): yeah, because people never just fall down stairs TioJaime (10:18:31 PM): what a cock LMHBrent (10:18:35 PM): fratdoc is going to jax0r LMHBrent (10:18:37 PM): to izzy LMHBrent (10:18:48 PM): bethany whisper LMHBrent (10:18:50 PM): i get it now LMHBrent (10:18:53 PM): victoria 'secret' LMHBrent (10:18:55 PM): heh TioJaime (10:19:00 PM): oh oh OH LMHBrent (10:19:09 PM): that is lame-o TioJaime (10:19:10 PM): and apparently i get it too LMHBrent (10:19:33 PM): was that an "oh oh OH" as in jax0r LMHBrent (10:19:42 PM): or "oh oh "OH" as in secret ~ whisper TioJaime (10:19:49 PM): that was an oh oh OH as in Sandra LMHBrent (10:19:58 PM): or "oh oh OH" as in you are s0ggy TioJaime (10:20:36 PM): did you see my other posts today? LMHBrent (10:20:37 PM): oh my god this commercial TioJaime (10:20:39 PM): and one from last night? TioJaime (10:20:40 PM): which one? LMHBrent (10:20:43 PM): premarin LMHBrent (10:20:54 PM): talking about dementia and vaginal discomfort TioJaime (10:21:07 PM): i guess i wasn't listening TioJaime (10:21:12 PM): but that sounds cool LMHBrent (10:21:19 PM): now it's a cingular/att commercial TioJaime (10:21:35 PM): if i ever find myself suffering from dementia and vaginal discomfort, i'm going to 3am criticize it LMHBrent (10:21:53 PM): i haven't had a chance to read SHoP this past weekend. TioJaime (10:21:59 PM): heh check it out LMHBrent (10:22:05 PM): i shall i shall TioJaime (10:22:05 PM): yay for cats LMHBrent (10:22:28 PM): okay bacy LMHBrent (10:22:29 PM): back TioJaime (10:22:35 PM): what a cockmaster LMHBrent (10:22:38 PM): fratdoc is photocopying TioJaime (10:22:52 PM): what a pigfucer TioJaime (10:22:53 PM): fucker TioJaime (10:22:55 PM): pigfucker LMHBrent (10:22:59 PM): oh crap TioJaime (10:23:04 PM): that would suck to have nailsin my head LMHBrent (10:23:09 PM): OMAN LMHBrent (10:23:10 PM): that is sicko LMHBrent (10:23:16 PM): he's so conscious though TioJaime (10:23:38 PM): blackt0r 1 TioJaime (10:23:47 PM): oh yesh TioJaime (10:24:01 PM): Limp Harry LMHBrent (10:24:04 PM): heh TioJaime (10:24:14 PM): Limp, Manginal, and Hairy Brent LMHBrent (10:24:21 PM): HAHAHAHAHAHAHA TioJaime (10:24:27 PM): LMHBrent LMHBrent (10:24:30 PM): I'm not LIMP LMHBrent (10:24:39 PM): stupid frat doc TioJaime (10:24:51 PM): whoa shit on toast those are huge nails LMHBrent (10:24:54 PM): they angled it while it was coming out LMHBrent (10:25:00 PM): "there goes the third grade" LMHBrent (10:25:22 PM): "you want the whipple, right?" TioJaime (10:25:31 PM): heh LMHBrent (10:25:47 PM): shrinking the salamander LMHBrent (10:25:48 PM): hahaha TioJaime (10:25:49 PM): fuck i hate that guy TioJaime (10:26:01 PM): blah blah blah i'm black and in seattle TioJaime (10:26:07 PM): Seattle Grace Hospital TioJaime (10:26:21 PM): oh is that a black orderly? TioJaime (10:26:26 PM): and another black orderly TioJaime (10:26:40 PM): GOD THIS IS SO UNREALISTIC TioJaime (10:27:04 PM): so much so that now it's detracting from my enjoyment LMHBrent has left the chat room. LMHBrent has entered the chat room. LMHBrent (10:27:32 PM): oh damn LMHBrent (10:27:40 PM): i got logged off TioJaime (10:28:06 PM): that's odd.... you didn't need to be reinvited? LMHBrent (10:28:43 PM): yeah huh LMHBrent (10:29:16 PM): hm okay LMHBrent (10:29:18 PM): that was interesting TioJaime (10:29:22 PM): perhaps the State of Washingtonia in Grey's Anatomy-world has elected a black governor TioJaime (10:29:26 PM): and a black mayor of seattle TioJaime (10:29:37 PM): "here's you w/your black husband" LMHBrent (10:29:41 PM): AHAHAH TioJaime (10:29:51 PM): "that's the black wagon he got me for my b-day" LMHBrent (10:29:53 PM): haahah TioJaime (10:30:09 PM): blax0r LMHBrent (10:30:21 PM): oooh faced LMHBrent (10:30:41 PM): fork suppers LMHBrent (10:30:52 PM): i don't like ty pennington TioJaime (10:31:39 PM): weird referral for the SHoP TioJaime (10:31:53 PM): http://www.google.com/search?hl=en&lr=&q=[UPDATE date="20040627"]D******[UPDATE]+steel+watch+band&btnG=Search TioJaime (10:32:14 PM): heh, because they were stupid enough to think that chimps are our friends TioJaime (10:32:27 PM): oh no an activist died in the middle east TioJaime (10:32:36 PM): that's what you get for associating w/terrorists LMHBrent (10:32:44 PM): they're not going to always play nice LMHBrent (10:32:50 PM): they never do TioJaime (10:32:54 PM): oh that wa sa local news thing huh LMHBrent (10:33:08 PM): yeah i guess LMHBrent (10:33:14 PM): i saw something about the pope LMHBrent (10:33:15 PM): conclave LMHBrent (10:33:21 PM): now it's subway LMHBrent (10:33:24 PM): now ford LMHBrent (10:33:42 PM): "it's fun like an suv" hm, maybe that's because it IS an suv TioJaime (10:33:46 PM): you know what i miss? LMHBrent (10:33:50 PM): seattle? TioJaime (10:33:52 PM): the Money Tree tax ad LMHBrent (10:33:54 PM): blacks IN seattle? LMHBrent (10:33:56 PM): oh yeah money tree TioJaime (10:34:04 PM): "Doing taxes is so taxing" TioJaime (10:34:15 PM): whoa LMHBrent (10:34:17 PM): oh nidce LMHBrent (10:34:19 PM): hello kitty TioJaime (10:34:20 PM): panties LMHBrent (10:34:29 PM): we have vaginas TioJaime (10:34:29 PM): VAGINA! LMHBrent (10:34:32 PM): get used to it LMHBrent (10:34:37 PM): man-boobs LMHBrent (10:34:38 PM): moobs TioJaime (10:35:01 PM): jor-yay! TioJaime (10:35:11 PM): oh yesh TioJaime (10:35:16 PM): heh TioJaime (10:35:22 PM): they're laughing TioJaime (10:35:23 PM): LOL LMHBrent (10:35:26 PM): NICEEEE LMHBrent (10:35:30 PM): it's all over baby TioJaime (10:35:49 PM): boyfriend? LMHBrent (10:35:53 PM): ehh TioJaime (10:35:54 PM): ooh girlfriend! TioJaime (10:35:56 PM): aww TioJaime (10:36:13 PM): yeah yeah yeah LMHBrent (10:36:15 PM): horse face asian TioJaime (10:36:23 PM): really, the question we should be asking ourselves TioJaime (10:36:30 PM): and i don't know why we both missed it TioJaime (10:36:43 PM): why aren't there any filipino nurses in seattle? LMHBrent (10:36:51 PM): exactly LMHBrent (10:36:51 PM): wtf TioJaime (10:37:00 PM): oh she's gonna take her shirt off! TioJaime (10:37:07 PM): whoa LMHBrent (10:37:12 PM): oh my god breasts TioJaime (10:37:17 PM): oh i like this show TioJaime (10:37:46 PM): heh LMHBrent (10:37:49 PM): oh beotch TioJaime (10:37:57 PM): eff you and eff your family, frat doctor TioJaime (10:38:17 PM): si! TioJaime (10:38:41 PM): perhaps i should find a nice mexichick TioJaime (10:38:54 PM): "i jax0red to you" LMHBrent (10:39:04 PM): hahaha TioJaime (10:39:10 PM): whoa LMHBrent (10:39:11 PM): nice LMHBrent (10:39:12 PM): close LMHBrent (10:39:15 PM): "i fantasized about you" TioJaime (10:39:23 PM): damn i'm good LMHBrent (10:39:26 PM): you are good TioJaime (10:39:36 PM): they're going to non-jax0r me LMHBrent (10:39:43 PM): "i have cancer and they're going to lift up my lgs and expose me to the world and cut out my prostate" TioJaime (10:40:04 PM): it's just a trick to get her to hump him LMHBrent (10:40:09 PM): let's have sex one time before i become limp TioJaime (10:40:58 PM): blackt0r LMHBrent (10:41:11 PM): nice LMHBrent (10:41:12 PM): get with the program horse asian LMHBrent (10:41:13 PM): i should watch iguana dance and sideways LMHBrent (10:41:13 PM): why is that a damn? TioJaime (10:41:14 PM): it's not tumor! TioJaime (10:41:25 PM): oops TioJaime (10:41:29 PM): it's not a tumor LMHBrent (10:41:36 PM): it's nto? LMHBrent (10:41:40 PM): i thought it was LMHBrent (10:41:53 PM): blackt0r commerical LMHBrent (10:41:58 PM): ob/gyn TioJaime (10:42:15 PM): http://www.google.com/search?q=Hooters%20Girl%20Lynnwood%2C%20WA&hl=en&lr= TioJaime (10:42:29 PM): somebody found the SHoP by searching for Hooters Girl Lynnwood, WA LMHBrent has left the chat room. TioJaime (10:43:33 PM): http://community.webshots.com/photo/68635854/72612531wzxmVX LMHBrent has entered the chat room. LMHBrent (10:43:39 PM): hey LMHBrent (10:43:42 PM): back i am TioJaime (10:43:59 PM): oh you missed my past link LMHBrent (10:44:01 PM): aliyesh LMHBrent (10:44:05 PM): i missed it TioJaime (10:44:08 PM): http://community.webshots.com/photo/68635854/72612531wzxmVX TioJaime (10:44:28 PM): jessica, somebody i don't know, nikki, kim, and somebody else i don't know TioJaime (10:44:34 PM): i miss seattle LMHBrent (10:44:40 PM): wowsers TioJaime (10:44:54 PM): you remember them? LMHBrent (10:45:05 PM): it's bee a while LMHBrent (10:45:08 PM): kinda not really TioJaime (10:45:13 PM): and now they're back LMHBrent (10:45:45 PM): losing memories TioJaime (10:45:45 PM): if Seattle Grace Hospital is really by the Space Needle, they're only a few minutes from Hooters Lake Union LMHBrent (10:45:55 PM): thye should do an episode there LMHBrent (10:46:10 PM): damn TioJaime (10:46:15 PM): oh tha'ts a nice red dress LMHBrent (10:46:52 PM): that's a fake laugh TioJaime (10:47:26 PM): http://community.webshots.com/photo/68635854/72612138IYMdjR LMHBrent (10:47:37 PM): what a bitch LMHBrent (10:47:45 PM): i hate that laugh LMHBrent (10:47:57 PM): ooh i like horse face lying down LMHBrent (10:48:09 PM): "sometimes doing everything can be worse than doing nothing" LMHBrent (10:48:21 PM): yes i liek that LMHBrent (10:48:22 PM): walk around naked TioJaime (10:48:22 PM): oh naked sandra oh LMHBrent (10:48:39 PM): "yeah we get that" TioJaime (10:49:32 PM): blax0r! TioJaime (10:49:39 PM): bethany whisp0r LMHBrent (10:49:48 PM): mexi-cut TioJaime (10:50:43 PM): ooh code blue dude LMHBrent has left the chat room. LMHBrent has entered the chat room. LMHBrent (10:51:26 PM): i see the california aide killing thing TioJaime (10:51:40 PM): ooh victoria's secret commercial! TioJaime (10:51:44 PM): OK LMHBrent (10:51:45 PM): ipex LMHBrent (10:51:46 PM): i mean iPex LMHBrent (10:51:54 PM): it's an accessory for the new iPod LMHBrent (10:52:03 PM): get a pair of iPex to sexify your iPod LMHBrent (10:52:18 PM): i've got a few iPexes LMHBrent (10:52:37 PM): Tiger coming out on April 29 TioJaime (10:52:40 PM): i wanna iPoke ellen pompeo TioJaime (10:52:56 PM): oh the first song of the episode TioJaime (10:52:59 PM): usually they have a few LMHBrent (10:53:06 PM): i liekd the last song from last episode" LMHBrent (10:53:11 PM): i like this one TioJaime (10:53:17 PM): another black dude TioJaime (10:54:08 PM): yeah you stupid woman, why would you say that to your patient? LMHBrent (10:54:14 PM): "ill remember for us both" TioJaime (10:54:34 PM): these interns seem kinda stupid LMHBrent (10:55:21 PM): they seem kinda emasculated LMHBrent (10:55:37 PM): limp harry TioJaime (10:56:23 PM): i like dr. izzy's young puppies LMHBrent (10:56:30 PM): woof woof LMHBrent (10:56:38 PM): this is a dumb song TioJaime (10:56:51 PM): i kinda liked it LMHBrent (10:56:58 PM): look me in the eye? TioJaime (10:57:18 PM): oh hi red LMHBrent (10:57:25 PM): montage LMHBrent (10:57:30 PM): "rulebook for intimacy" LMHBrent (10:57:35 PM): a guide that can tell you when you've crossed the line LMHBrent (10:57:47 PM): it would be nice if you could see it coming LMHBrent (10:58:01 PM): *** fit it on a map LMHBrent (10:58:17 PM): you take it where you can get it LMHBrent (10:58:20 PM): and keep it as long as you can LMHBrent (10:58:35 PM): and as for rules LMHBrent (10:58:44 PM): maybe there are nonoe LMHBrent (10:58:58 PM): maybe the rules of intimacy are something you have to define for youself TioJaime (10:59:01 PM): MORE BLACK PEOPLE IN SEATTLE LMHBrent (10:59:11 PM): i wonder if they're really in seattle TioJaime (10:59:16 PM): DID YOU SEE THEM? RIGHT BEHIND ELLEN POMPEO AND PATRICK DEMPSEY? LMHBrent (10:59:20 PM): yeah LMHBrent (10:59:22 PM): black dude TioJaime (10:59:23 PM): next sunday LMHBrent (10:59:25 PM): was he with a black girl? LMHBrent (10:59:31 PM): party LMHBrent (10:59:52 PM): oh my gahts LMHBrent (10:59:56 PM): new pope suppers TioJaime (10:59:57 PM): he probably was since there are a fucking buttload up there TioJaime (11:00:02 PM): really? LMHBrent (11:00:08 PM): they're picking one TioJaime (11:00:10 PM): stupid KGO didn't make any mention LMHBrent (11:00:13 PM): something about a conclave LMHBrent (11:00:40 PM): okay dude LMHBrent (11:00:44 PM): i gotta wake up at 4:30 LMHBrent (11:00:48 PM): i don't think i can do this very often LMHBrent (11:00:51 PM): i'm killing myself LMHBrent (11:01:08 PM): ttyl LMHBrent has left the chat room. TioJaime has left the chat room.

Firing on more Feces

Quick story from the Jaime Jarchives... (think: HYE-may HAR-kives)

Each year the Cal Band has one of those parties where each room hosts a different drink. "Hit the Slopes" it's called. went my senior year with two non-band friends (this was pretty much the only party my non-band friends would go to). One of these friends had e-mailed me a pic earlier, which i then proceeded to forward to Cal Percussion.

And go check out the pic, or else the rest of this paragraph won't make any sense. And for those of you who came to this post from a newer SHoP post (a la "Previously, on Gilmore Girls..."), Welcome! I shudder to think what brought you here.

So my friends got that pic via e-mail, and they liked it. I, ever the gentleman, properly credited my source of the pic both in the e-mail and in the flesh at the party...

"Non-band Friend Kobe, this is Drummer Mitch. Drummer Mitch, this is Non-band Friend Kobe. He sent me that e-mail i sent to you earlier this week..."
"Oh yeah, you're the Man With the Huge Cock!"

Et voila.

JihadJimmyCDF = Jihad Jimmy, Chief Defender of the Faith
MwHCock = my friend herein named "Man With Huge Cock"

MwHCock (2:20:38 PM): http://eatliver.com/i.php?n=150 JihadJimmyCDF (2:21:32 PM): oh man, OK gotta post that... keep feeding me links if you have any MwHCock (2:21:52 PM): no MwHCock (2:22:02 PM): sixhertz called me an asshat MwHCock (2:22:26 PM): I have to sign him up for the nambla newsletter JihadJimmyCDF (2:22:30 PM): LOL JihadJimmyCDF (2:22:35 PM): you got a link for nambla? JihadJimmyCDF (2:22:51 PM): oh that's gonna be suh-weet when he starts getting hits for NAMBLA JihadJimmyCDF (2:22:59 PM): NORTH AMERICAN MAN-BOY LOVE ASSOCIATION MwHCock (2:23:30 PM): i have no link MwHCock (2:23:38 PM): i refuse to open that web site MwHCock (2:23:45 PM): the fbi is tracking it JihadJimmyCDF (2:24:14 PM): oh that's not good MwHCock (2:25:46 PM): here's a safer link MwHCock (2:25:49 PM): http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/NAMBLA MwHCock (2:25:53 PM): check out that logo MwHCock (2:25:55 PM): holy crap JihadJimmyCDF (2:26:50 PM): that is uncool JihadJimmyCDF (2:26:56 PM): doubleplus ungood MwHCock (2:27:01 PM): so wrong JihadJimmyCDF (2:27:15 PM): makes me wanna shoot perverts in the balls JihadJimmyCDF (2:27:21 PM): ooh, i saw Sin City last night!!! JihadJimmyCDF (2:27:30 PM): that was one FUCKING RAD-ASSED movie!!!!! MwHCock (2:27:44 PM): i heard it was good JihadJimmyCDF (2:28:04 PM): i'm usually not one for comic books as movies JihadJimmyCDF (2:28:10 PM): but man, that was a really well done movie JihadJimmyCDF (2:28:14 PM): i liked the boobs MwHCock (2:33:08 PM): "More recently, media reports have suggested that for practical purposes the group no longer exists and that it consists only of a web site maintained by a few enthusiasts. Others have suggested that the group is kept going by the FBI as a means of entrapping suspected pedophiles. NAMBLA maintains a web site that shows addresses in New York and San Francisco and a phone contact in New York, but says nothing about NAMBLA's current activities." JihadJimmyCDF (2:34:31 PM): sweet merciful crap i hate that a capella thing now MwHCock (2:34:49 PM): it need to changed to a link and not the actual video JihadJimmyCDF (2:34:55 PM): yep JihadJimmyCDF (2:34:59 PM): eh JihadJimmyCDF (2:35:15 PM): i'll just keep posting to have it moved to the archives JihadJimmyCDF (2:35:20 PM): posted twice just now JihadJimmyCDF (2:35:30 PM): and yours will be 3 JihadJimmyCDF (2:35:45 PM): gotta pee brb

Firing on the Feces on a pleasant SHoP Sun-dee!

The more astute amongst us will notice something quite Orwellian. I don't expect any of you to notice. And wow, this is the most Orwellian I have ever been. I've done stuff like this before, but not on this level. Damn, I'm good. Doubleplus good, even.

Jihad Jimmy, Chief Defender of the Faith

JihadJimmy = Tio Jaime, GOP enthusiast
MiniTrue = SixHertz, Senior Exalted Minister, SHoP Ministry of Truth

MiniTrue (1:38:42 PM): http://www.craigslist.org/about/best/nyc/51526837.html JihadJimmy (1:40:12 PM): LOL only 5 or 6 are gay MiniTrue (1:40:21 PM): that's so cool. MiniTrue (1:45:31 PM): the libertards on CL really piss me off. JihadJimmy (1:45:57 PM): yeah it's a goddam breeding ground MiniTrue (1:45:59 PM): They must be destroyed. MiniTrue (1:46:27 PM): they're all over "best-of" JihadJimmy (1:46:40 PM): The nice thing about LIbEralS congregating around things like craigslist is that when it comes time to box them up and send them to internment camps, we'll have a handy to-do list! JihadJimmy (1:46:55 PM): I'm shooting for the goddam SHoP quotes, baby MiniTrue (1:46:55 PM): getting their egos stroked because they "hate GW" or say "left is right, and right is wrong" MiniTrue (1:47:25 PM): and then more of the assholes keep pressing the 'best-of' button, and we get gypped into seeing their BS plastered. JihadJimmy (1:47:34 PM): well yeah you post something spiteful, your spiteful friends give you mental hand-jobs and you get on Best of CL MiniTrue (1:48:35 PM): "oh, I'm so cool. Look at me! I hate George Bush!" JihadJimmy (1:49:44 PM): "we get gypped into seeing their BS plastered" ===> well, actually if you don't want to read it you shouldn't visit JihadJimmy (1:50:06 PM): you know full well what you're getting into by typing it into your address bar JihadJimmy (1:50:16 PM): much like the one or two hippies who will read the SHoP MiniTrue (1:50:32 PM): well, I just like seeing how stupid they are. MiniTrue (1:50:47 PM): spewing out the same self-hating garbage each post. JihadJimmy (1:50:51 PM): OK and me too, but we really have no indignant-leg to stand on JihadJimmy (1:50:57 PM): "on which to stand" MiniTrue (2:04:48 PM): Okay, I'm done with the CL crap. MiniTrue (2:04:53 PM): back to my book JihadJimmy (2:05:09 PM): good stuff

My kind of Celebrity: Conservative, Gun-toting and Somewhat Unstable!

Ted Nugent to Fellow NRAers: Get Hardcore

This following excerpt makes perfect sense to me, and it should to you too. Even you brainless, spineless, and dickless hippies have to see the logic in defending yourself from the immediacy of a rapist or a murderer or a carjacker trying to steal your new Audi decorated with shitty holier-than-thou bumper stickers.

"Remember the Alamo! Shoot 'em!" he screamed to applause. "To show you how radical I am, I want carjackers dead. I want rapists dead. I want burglars dead. I want child molesters dead. I want the bad guys dead. No court case. No parole. No early release. I want 'em dead. Get a gun and when they attack you, shoot 'em."

OH FUCK YEAH!!! "I want the bad guys dead." How the fuck can you argue with that?!? Without appearing to be a complete fucking LIbEral retard...

Jihad Jimmy, Chief Defender of the Faith

No drunk calling tonight. Drunk blogging.

the MiniTrue got a drunk call last night after we left the zoo. i was designated driver, so i got to watch this firsthand. funny shit.

as teh designated drinker tonight, i didn't drive. and i didn't have the whole drunk message thing in me, so i figured i'd wait until right now to drunk post.

i think the premise behind this post will be: a bunch of random shit which makes a lot of sense when sloshed, but not as much sense when sober. With luck, we will be able to enjoy the sheer lack of cohesion due to alcohol in hindsight. i'm not promising anything here, so let's not start sucking each other's dees quite yet... but here you go


click to enlarge

if anybody but LMHBrent understood that, kudos... kudos to you, brave SHoPper

Fuck i hope that worked... here's another. Please to be bearing in mind that I am Gay for Ducks. and aww shucks, they made up some html tags for me yay



and suck me sideways, that isn't appearing in teh Preview. it's stupposed to be a red duck named Mangina... apparently i got this idea from the House of Snark, home of the hottest hair on the hinternets, hoo nelly! lemme find you a link... here, check out the snark's cute dog here! and just for the record, even the Snark's caricatures are hot. kinda makes me wanna go to grad school in santa barbara

and well, unfortunately not before i fall asleep at my computer. goodnight kids, i'll see you tomorow or sometrhing

jihad jimmy, hcierf defender of the faith

Maybe some of my CWSL friends can tell me if they know this gal with the red Ford Probe. She seems way cool.

MORE BEST-OF CRAIGSLIST HUMOR!!!

Your mangina was showing in Balboa Park
Reply to: anon-61103764@craigslist.org
Date: Thu Feb 24 06:58:18 2005

To the black man in Balboa Park who was pacing in front of my car with your dick hanging out...what were you doing up so early??

It was 6:00 a.m., I was the girl in the red ford probe who was drinking coffee and doing homework in her car...waiting for the law library to open. I don't usually park there, and I haven't been back since, but I was trying to get to school early and land a parking spot. I guess fate had something different in mind, since all the damn free spots near Cal Western were full. So I ended up in that upper lot in Balboa Park.

That's when you walked by, talking on your cell phone. You were wearing a red muscle shirt and really short biker shorts that looked almost like black speedos. I thought it odd the way you paced back and forth in front of my car, but I didn't worry...it seemed too early for any drug dealers, crack whores or weirdos to be up yet. It wasn't until I happened to look up as you were pacing away from me that I noticed your package. It was right at eye level as I sat in my bucket seat. It was tucked...hanging out the back of your shorts...staring me straight in the face.

Remember? I'm the one that spewed coffee all over her windshield and screached out of the parking lot. I ended up paying ten bucks to park closer to the school, but now I wish I had saved the money and hit you with my car instead. Now I am haunted by the memory of your nut sack...and yet aching with a sick curiosity. Why were you up so early on a cold day like this, pacing around with your nut sack and dick hanging out the back of your shorts? Who were you on the phone with?? Is this a regular thing for you? Is it normal to have your junk out in the open so early on a weekday morning, or is it considered a social faux pas..like wearing white shoes after labor day? Do you hang out (no pun intended) with other...what do you call yourselves...manginites? Have you thought about investing in a rain coat like other pervs, or do you prefer the spandex look? If this wasn't a special show just for me...which I highly doubt...then for who? Do you do this at home or just in public?

On a technical note, how is this logistically possible...I mean I got a pretty good view of your fruit basket and I'm suprised you managed to get so much to stick so far in the back. I mean, I've seen silence of the lambs, so I know the whole mangina thing is possible...maybe I don't surf the internet enough, but I've never seen a nut tuck from the back before. Thinking back, I'm impressed by it's flexibility and projection. You didn't seem to have any problems walking or anything. You must use gold bond or something for the chafing.

If you get this, could you please respond to these questions...maybe tell me when you will be there again so that I can drive by. I won't get out of the car...but I'd like to get a picture...or poke you with a stick or something...just to make sure that you are real.

My question is how he got the beans outside his shorts along with the frank. Those must've been some pretty tight spandex shorts. That, or the dude has some really skinny thighs. In any case, it doesn't seem very comfortable to me.

Welcome to the Fishbowl

Here's why I can't blog as much during the week as I used to. They moved me to this office.

Click to enlarge

Hopefully this'll turn out OK. Here's a set of pics that encompass 180° of my office. UPDATE: Courtesy my buddy Brijinder, he took the pics and made this panorama. Check out http://www.arcsoft.com/en/products/panoramamaker/, which comes Brijinder-approved.

Click to enlarge

Bogus, huh? Four sides, two of them entirely window.

Satur-dee Worktime Hijinks!

I'm on OT right now-- Own Time. Haw haw.

Real quick yesterday at work: Was out in the field, so I wasn't able to do any SHoPping. In Santa Clara, just a couple of blocks from TiVo headquarters, I saw this toolish guy with a reasonably cute chick in his passenger seat driving a Ford Focus hatchback. His California vanity plate read "L33T H4X".

I wanted to give him the "finger and thumb in the shape of an L on my forehead" but I didn't have the heart. What a tool. I think to have some construction guy in an orange vest driving a big damn Chevy 1500 give him shit in front of his woman probably would've made him cry.

After work saw an old friend, Farmer Ben (he went to Stanfurd). Told him about the doorgirl at the zoo who looks like his mom.

PLACE BETS NOW

Will Tio Jaime go after...
a) The doorgirl who looks like Farmer Ben's mom,
b) The cashier who looks like OCDs (More on my ex, Orange County D-cups, here
c) Crap-On-Your-Bed Girl, or
d) The Young Turk.

BETTING ENDS

After seeing Farmur Ben I went to get a haircut at the Vietnamese place in East San Jose ($6 for 5 minutes, and they know how to cut asian hair. Kinda dirty, but anything more than $6 and your just paying for ambiance and fluent english). I like that hot Lily vietnamese chick. She was wearing something you'd expect to see at the zoo. See above link.

While waiting for my $6 vietnamese haircut (not to be confused w/$1 vietnamese sandwiches), one of the mexidudes waiting for a haircut called across the room, "Hey Oso!"

And lo and behold this big, burly bearish Mexidude came over. I was just a little baby Bruin compared this Golden Bear.

And now work calls. This is my first Satur-dee since the old Santa Clara job, i think...

enjoy the remainder of the weekend,
Jihad Jimmy, Chief Defender of the Faith

JihadJimmyCDF = SHoP's Tio Jaime
SirManWithHugeCock = Tio J's college buddy

JihadJimmyCDF (12:36:36 PM): yay for work on a saturday SirManWithHugeCock (12:36:50 PM): are you there now? SirManWithHugeCock (12:38:31 PM): or back home? JihadJimmyCDF (12:38:39 PM): just got here SirManWithHugeCock (12:38:43 PM): ok SirManWithHugeCock (12:39:14 PM): sorry odg SirManWithHugeCock (12:39:17 PM): dog SirManWithHugeCock (12:39:29 PM): you're slacking on the blog SirManWithHugeCock (12:39:41 PM): sixhertz if out-updating you JihadJimmyCDF (12:40:05 PM): have you not been keeping up? I was on hiatus because the Ministry of Truth was taking a big shit on me SirManWithHugeCock (12:40:20 PM): i know, but I thought you were back now JihadJimmyCDF (12:40:38 PM): not as enthusiastically as before JihadJimmyCDF (12:40:42 PM): "with reservation" SirManWithHugeCock (12:41:10 PM): who is ministry of truth? SirManWithHugeCock (12:41:14 PM): sixhertz? JihadJimmyCDF (12:41:48 PM): yep SirManWithHugeCock (12:41:51 PM): ok SirManWithHugeCock (12:41:54 PM): just making sure JihadJimmyCDF (12:42:05 PM): my nickname for him when he gets extra 1984-ish SirManWithHugeCock (12:42:12 PM): ok JihadJimmyCDF (12:42:25 PM): Nineteen Eighty-pfhor SirManWithHugeCock (12:42:50 PM): where does he live? JihadJimmyCDF (12:42:57 PM): san diego SirManWithHugeCock (12:43:08 PM): ok SirManWithHugeCock (12:43:56 PM): man, I really feel like some egg salad SirManWithHugeCock (12:44:01 PM): I am gonna make some for dinner JihadJimmyCDF (12:44:03 PM): i was tempted to get some the other day JihadJimmyCDF (12:44:23 PM): and really the MiniTrue has only posted one post that required extensive original post material JihadJimmyCDF (12:44:39 PM): the other posts are just quotes and pics SirManWithHugeCock (12:44:47 PM): word SirManWithHugeCock (12:44:51 PM): his posts suck JihadJimmyCDF (12:45:02 PM): they have their moments JihadJimmyCDF (12:45:10 PM): i like the GFY tuesdays/thursdays SirManWithHugeCock (12:45:11 PM): I did like the nintedo video JihadJimmyCDF (12:45:17 PM): and i was gonna post this up on the SHoP JihadJimmyCDF (12:45:19 PM): this chat thread JihadJimmyCDF (12:45:23 PM): maybe i'll delete that bit out SirManWithHugeCock (12:45:31 PM): which now gives a fucking error when you go to your page SirManWithHugeCock (12:45:32 PM): ok JihadJimmyCDF (12:45:39 PM): but then that's just doing the MiniTrue's work for him JihadJimmyCDF (12:45:47 PM): yeah dude! WTS? JihadJimmyCDF (12:45:52 PM): (what the shit) SirManWithHugeCock (12:46:10 PM): anonymize me if you do post this SirManWithHugeCock (12:46:22 PM): he need to take that video off JihadJimmyCDF (12:46:23 PM): oh yeah NP JihadJimmyCDF (12:46:40 PM): i will anonymize you, Sam Zoranovich of Moraga, CA SirManWithHugeCock (12:46:43 PM): i found an mpeg version which is slightly etter quality anyways, plays in quicktime SirManWithHugeCock (12:46:51 PM): dick SirManWithHugeCock (12:46:52 PM): haha JihadJimmyCDF (12:47:37 PM): i know what i will change your name to JihadJimmyCDF (12:47:50 PM): Arise, SirManWithHugeCock JihadJimmyCDF (12:48:24 PM): do you have that pic? i'll post it here next to the chat for the SHoP SirManWithHugeCock (12:48:24 PM): noyce JihadJimmyCDF (12:48:56 PM): and now shit, we'll need to explain exactly how you got that name SirManWithHugeCock (12:50:31 PM): let me find it SirManWithHugeCock wants to directly connect (12:56:20 PM). SirManWithHugeCock is now directly connected (12:56:25 PM). SirManWithHugeCock (12:56:26 PM): SirManWithHugeCock (12:56:27 PM): got it? JihadJimmyCDF (12:56:30 PM): oh yes! JihadJimmyCDF (12:56:31 PM): sweet! SirManWithHugeCock (12:56:45 PM): henceforth, I am man with big cock JihadJimmyCDF (12:56:56 PM): oh sweet JihadJimmyCDF (12:56:59 PM): suh-weet-ah! SirManWithHugeCock (12:57:07 PM): I me this girl last friday SirManWithHugeCock (12:57:23 PM): And i told her the story about that party SirManWithHugeCock (12:57:42 PM): where you'd introduce me, and people would be like "Oh, man with the big cock!" SirManWithHugeCock (12:57:49 PM): mna, i loved that party SirManWithHugeCock (12:57:51 PM): man SirManWithHugeCock (12:58:13 PM): i told the girls that sorty SirManWithHugeCock (12:58:15 PM): story JihadJimmyCDF (12:58:20 PM): was that the party where that piece of shit tool Ryan Clark got in my face? SirManWithHugeCock (12:58:23 PM): then I made out with her later that night SirManWithHugeCock (12:58:27 PM): yes SirManWithHugeCock (12:58:34 PM): still, a good time JihadJimmyCDF (12:58:48 PM): and then that piece of shit tool ex-GF megan apologized on my behalf later that night? SirManWithHugeCock (1:00:10 PM): SHE DID!!! SirManWithHugeCock (1:00:14 PM): That bitch JihadJimmyCDF (1:00:17 PM): I DIDN'T FUCKING TELL YOU THAT? JihadJimmyCDF (1:00:33 PM): oh shit yeah! SirManWithHugeCock (1:00:38 PM): That is fucking unforgivable JihadJimmyCDF (1:00:41 PM): after i yelled at that power tripping dick JihadJimmyCDF (1:00:42 PM): we left JihadJimmyCDF (1:00:47 PM): she called me later that night SirManWithHugeCock (1:00:54 PM): what a whore SirManWithHugeCock (1:01:04 PM): That was a painful time SirManWithHugeCock (1:01:08 PM): when you two were together JihadJimmyCDF (1:01:13 PM): told me that she apologized for me after we'd gone JihadJimmyCDF (1:01:55 PM): she truly was somebody who Can't Uunderstand Normal Thinking SirManWithHugeCock (1:02:03 PM): haha SirManWithHugeCock (1:05:02 PM): Do you remember when we were all playing monopoly, months after you had broken up with her, and your pager went off. Lincoln and I just became silent....we had been conditioned by her many previous pages JihadJimmyCDF (1:05:12 PM): oh yes JihadJimmyCDF (1:05:17 PM): i was somewhat frightened too SirManWithHugeCock (1:05:59 PM): man SirManWithHugeCock (1:06:08 PM): what a horrible time that was JihadJimmyCDF (1:06:10 PM): i think you're gonna like this post SirManWithHugeCock (1:06:23 PM): isn't she in law school now too/ SirManWithHugeCock (1:06:24 PM): ? JihadJimmyCDF (1:06:40 PM): oh yes SirManWithHugeCock (1:06:44 PM): oh joy JihadJimmyCDF (1:06:47 PM): Golden Gate Law School SirManWithHugeCock (1:06:52 PM): we'll be colleagues JihadJimmyCDF (1:06:56 PM): yay! SirManWithHugeCock (1:07:08 PM): I can see her at continuing education classes JihadJimmyCDF (1:07:13 PM): and you can study poly sci together and watch DouL together JihadJimmyCDF (1:07:21 PM): doubleplus yay! SirManWithHugeCock (1:07:34 PM): we never had a poly sci class together SirManWithHugeCock (1:07:38 PM): we did have history SirManWithHugeCock (1:07:48 PM): Where she walked in late every day SirManWithHugeCock (1:08:02 PM): and then sat right next to me JihadJimmyCDF (1:08:04 PM): ahh JihadJimmyCDF (1:08:06 PM): oh yay! JihadJimmyCDF (1:08:25 PM): she was busy not being a good girlfriend, i suppose JihadJimmyCDF (1:08:44 PM): that must've taken a lot of extra-ordinary effort to be that shitty of a GF SirManWithHugeCock (1:09:35 PM): it was just a lot of fighting SirManWithHugeCock (1:09:46 PM): every time you hung out with us she would call and complain to you SirManWithHugeCock (1:09:57 PM): and you would go in another room and yell o nthe phone JihadJimmyCDF (1:10:03 PM): yeah, good times JihadJimmyCDF (1:10:06 PM): i mean SirManWithHugeCock (1:10:06 PM): and we couldn't order pizza JihadJimmyCDF (1:10:08 PM): yeah JihadJimmyCDF (1:10:17 PM): yeah, and i'd like to apologize for that yet again SirManWithHugeCock (1:10:22 PM): no no SirManWithHugeCock (1:10:26 PM): no apologizes SirManWithHugeCock (1:10:50 PM): It wasn't your failut SirManWithHugeCock (1:10:52 PM): fault JihadJimmyCDF (1:10:56 PM): well, it's kind of like, your good friend Jimmy was the one who invited the vampire into our peaceful abode SirManWithHugeCock (1:11:10 PM): well SirManWithHugeCock (1:11:17 PM): at least her sister was good looking JihadJimmyCDF (1:11:20 PM): where she proceeded to ruin our lives whilst living 30 mins away, through the caldecott tunnel in walnut creek JihadJimmyCDF (1:11:24 PM): oh jesus yeah JihadJimmyCDF (1:11:45 PM): Sweet Merciful Crap SirManWithHugeCock (1:11:53 PM): she had very nice legs JihadJimmyCDF (1:12:07 PM): again, jimmy chose the wrong sister SirManWithHugeCock (1:12:13 PM): haha SirManWithHugeCock (1:12:23 PM): you should've tried the ol' switcheroo JihadJimmyCDF (1:12:27 PM): you should've seen the sister of the one before megan JihadJimmyCDF (1:12:29 PM): ooh yeah SirManWithHugeCock (1:12:40 PM): i've pulled the switcheroo once SirManWithHugeCock (1:12:46 PM): not with sisters, with cousins SirManWithHugeCock (1:12:55 PM): they didn't like each other, so it wasn't too hard JihadJimmyCDF (1:13:17 PM): good deal JihadJimmyCDF (1:13:41 PM): did either of them tell their parents after they spent the night at your apartment once? SirManWithHugeCock (1:13:51 PM): No SirManWithHugeCock (1:13:55 PM): and i remember that SirManWithHugeCock (1:13:56 PM): hahahah JihadJimmyCDF (1:14:03 PM): see, good buddy Man w/Huge Cock... when you open the megan-floodgates SirManWithHugeCock (1:14:04 PM): oh man JihadJimmyCDF (1:14:08 PM): a lot of shit comes pouring through SirManWithHugeCock (1:14:11 PM): hi-fucking-larious JihadJimmyCDF (1:14:28 PM): it's like a big fucking dam with a reservoir of shit and tears JihadJimmyCDF (1:14:37 PM): and no pizza SirManWithHugeCock (1:14:45 PM): and *69 JihadJimmyCDF (1:14:51 PM): and a hot sister SirManWithHugeCock (1:15:00 PM): who drives a volvo JihadJimmyCDF (1:15:23 PM): ahh, good times SirManWithHugeCock (1:15:32 PM): what was megan's last name? JihadJimmyCDF (1:15:35 PM): mcdonald SirManWithHugeCock (1:15:41 PM): i'm gonna google her JihadJimmyCDF (1:15:51 PM): url? i'm kinda curious now JihadJimmyCDF (1:16:02 PM): and if you could put the html tags, i'd be much obliged JihadJimmyCDF (1:16:04 PM): LOL SirManWithHugeCock (1:16:12 PM): hmmm SirManWithHugeCock (1:16:14 PM): common name SirManWithHugeCock (1:16:20 PM): children's book author SirManWithHugeCock (1:16:23 PM): artist JihadJimmyCDF (1:16:41 PM): Can't Uunderstand Normal Thinking? SirManWithHugeCock (1:18:27 PM): her name is too common JihadJimmyCDF (1:18:50 PM): try "Megan McDonald Can't Uunderstand Normal Thinking " SirManWithHugeCock (1:19:08 PM): it's weird when you write that JihadJimmyCDF (1:19:17 PM): yeah i know JihadJimmyCDF (1:19:26 PM): it'll make sense in the post, trust me SirManWithHugeCock (1:19:31 PM): ok JihadJimmyCDF (1:20:24 PM): (for those of you scoring the game at home, i'm typing in the "strong" tags in the chat, so MwHC is seeing all the opening and closing formatting tags) SirManWithHugeCock (1:20:57 PM): but on the blog, I assume the tags will not show up but things will bold, etc SirManWithHugeCock direct connection is closed (1:23:36 PM). JihadJimmyCDF (1:23:39 PM): oh yes absolutely JihadJimmyCDF (1:32:59 PM): OK eff me JihadJimmyCDF (1:33:02 PM): i gotta get some work done JihadJimmyCDF (1:33:07 PM): but not before this post... SirManWithHugeCock signed off at 1:36:24 PM.

Best-of Craigslist Day: ADD ADHD Group Forming!!

Taken from Craigslist:

ADD ADHD Group Forming
Reply to: anon-64373531@craigslist.org
Date: Fri Mar 18 11:10:01 2005


There is a new group forming for people with attention defici HEY LETS GO RIDE BIKES!

Happy Saturday!

Another fun pic!

It's da Microshizzle.

Had this in my inbox for a while...

All we need now is for some Islamic country to host the next Olympic Games. Where's George Santayana when you need him?

GFY Thursday: Bill Clinton

Oh yeah. You knew it was coming. And he made it easy for me this time. That's right, you bastard. Your appointment by the completely and totally righteous Kofi "cup" Annan to be the UN Tsunami Relief envoy was what finally triggered it. Just because people line up for hours outside of a Costco with your retarted autobiography waiting for the chance to touch your nads doesn't mean you're going to get away with your hand inside the proverbial cookie jar now. Just look at the crap I've endured from you over the past week:

You said that Kofi Annan was doing a "good job" as UN head when it's apparent his ineptness was a primary cause for the US going to war in Iraq.
You said the late Pope John Paul II had a "mixed legacy" when it's obvious his 26 years of actions as head of the Catholic Church carried the most consistent message of any politician or religious figure of our time.

and what really pissed me off....

You said that "we have a moral obligation to build these [tsunami-hit] areas back better than they were before the crisis began," when you couldn't even follow the moral obligation of being faithful to your wife. Oh? You said it wasn't a sexual relationship? Oh, I'm sorry. That's right. You're SELECTIVE about your language, you sneaky prick. Like how you smoked pot, but didn't inhale. Riiiiggght...lemme find my thesaurus. And how about the moral obligation of NOT LYING UNDER OATH?

Go tell Iran to pony up the dough to help their fellow islamic brethren. Oh wait, islamofascists have a moral obligation to slice off heads of infidels. No time to rebuild for those guys. They need that time to teach sharia law and preach jihad for America's downfall. Rebuild Phuket, Thailand? Only you, Billy, would want to build a place like that up better than it was before, full of underage brothels, sex show-houses, and prostitution.

How about the moral obligation of keeping your own country's borders secure and protecting its citizens? Oh, I'm sorry. Illegal immigrants are good for the United States. I think it's good how we have to give illegal aliens free education, free health care, free drivers licenses, free class-action lawsuits against US citizens, etc. I'm glad a former president of the United States has his priorities straight.

Moral obligation, indeed.

Next time I need a moral compass, let me take direction from someone who isn't you. GFY, Bill. Don't act shocked I said it. I'm sure your wife has told you that before.

I read most of Michael Savage's book "Liberalism is a Mental Disorder" today at Borders in about 2 hours, and boy, do I feel energized.

Live 3am Criticism of The Amazing Race 7, episode 7

Well crap. Had I known the Snark was going to send traffic our way, I would've posted this earlier. As my luck would have it, I didn't really have time to blog. Just enough time to make the rounds. Well, here it is. Separated by mere minutes from the previous 3am Criticism of Grey's Anatomy, last night was truly TV-tastic.

Amazing Race fans visiting from the HoS, caveat: my recaps are live, no rewinding, and really not very entertaining unless you watch a tape (or tivo or downloaded episode if you're a technology tool) along w/the 3amC. Don't rely on me for plot summary. Also, I use a lot more bad words and slurs than the Snark. Don't say you weren't warned.

Lay dollars to win doughnuts, however, that the Snark doesn't get as many hits as the SHoP does for "amazing race cleavage" or "amazing race hayden boobs". Oh that's right. Bow Down to the House of Pain.

all my love,
Jihad Jimmy, Chief Defender of the Faith

TAR7, episode 7 (original broadcast date 12 April 2005

You are now in chat room “TAR7ep8ithink.” TioJaime858 has entered the chat room. TioJaime858 (9:00:55 PM): OK now it's time for the amazing race 7 TioJaime858 (9:00:59 PM): "piece of trash redneck" TioJaime858 (9:01:25 PM): too bad brothers TioJaime858 (9:01:40 PM): Five teams remain, who will be philiminated.. next? TioJaime858 (9:01:45 PM): A! MAZE ! ING TioJaime858 (9:01:47 PM): AMAZING TioJaime858 (9:01:52 PM): A! MAZE ING TioJaime858 (9:01:56 PM): AMAZING TioJaime858 (9:02:03 PM): A! MAZING RACE! TioJaime858 (9:02:09 PM): A! MAZING RACE! TioJaime858 (9:02:09 PM): A! MAZING RACE TioJaime858 (9:02:14 PM): A! MAZE! ING! AMAZING TioJaime858 (9:02:19 PM): A! MAZE! ING! AMAZING! TioJaime858 (9:02:27 PM): no rest for the jihad jimmy TioJaime858 (9:02:42 PM): check the time stamps.... TioJaime858 (9:03:31 PM): bacon! TioJaime858 (9:03:32 PM): bacon! TioJaime858 (9:03:33 PM): bacon! TioJaime858 (9:03:53 PM): why do i want to orally pleasure megan mullaly? TioJaime858 (9:05:18 PM): la la la ron and kelly TioJaime858 (9:05:25 PM): rob-tard first to depart 12:45am TioJaime858 (9:05:37 PM): teams must now fly more than 5000 miles to lucknow india TioJaime858 (9:05:45 PM): go to a religious palace TioJaime858 (9:06:03 PM): STFU TioJaime858 (9:06:05 PM): man that was fast TioJaime858 (9:06:17 PM): yeah five teams and the old people TioJaime858 (9:06:22 PM): please please please God kick them off TioJaime858 (9:06:29 PM): ron/kelly 2nd to depart 12:46? TioJaime858 (9:06:34 PM): oh fuck you rob TioJaime858 (9:06:47 PM): uChenna and Joyce TioJaime858 (9:06:50 PM): india! TioJaime858 (9:07:07 PM): OK that was nice TioJaime858 (9:07:20 PM): racist fags fourth to depart TioJaime858 (9:07:28 PM): you are so amazingly racist TioJaime858 (9:07:35 PM): old dudes last to depart 345am TioJaime858 (9:07:49 PM): yeah lots of old people never dreamed they'd make it that far TioJaime858 (9:07:56 PM): hey there's something on your face TioJaime858 (9:08:04 PM): hunh? TioJaime858 (9:08:17 PM): STFU YOU STUPID BOSTARD TioJaime858 (9:08:37 PM): dude, it's a plane. lots of people besides indiana jones ride planes TioJaime858 (9:09:36 PM): first stop francistown, botswana TioJaime858 (9:09:37 PM): heh and they're bottlenecked already TioJaime858 (9:09:43 PM): yay for fags, bostards infertile blacks and annoying southerners TioJaime858 (9:10:05 PM): cheesedicks TioJaime858 (9:10:16 PM): OK shit, *I* didn't even know that bombay and mumbai are the same thing TioJaime858 (9:10:29 PM): gretchen is all tore up TioJaime858 (9:10:59 PM): ooh yeah five minutes over several hours-long flights TioJaime858 (9:11:24 PM): and fucking rob, can't even speak proper fucking english TioJaime858 (9:11:36 PM): yeah TioJaime858 (9:11:47 PM): i'd want the old people in the finals too becuase they'd be easy to beat no shit TioJaime858 (9:12:08 PM): wow kelly is a godam genius TioJaime858 (9:12:21 PM): wow she's janky TioJaime858 (9:12:33 PM): perhaps i should just find myself a nice normal californian woman TioJaime858 (9:12:58 PM): i wouldn't say "front runners" but rather insipid dipshits TioJaime858 (9:14:30 PM): that's because lynn and alex are using you like the white man has used the black man since the beginning of the niuverse TioJaime858 (9:14:34 PM): universe TioJaime858 (9:15:29 PM): "speak english, boss?" TioJaime858 (9:15:32 PM): YES I FUCKING GET IT YOU WERE IN IRAQ TioJaime858 (9:15:41 PM): JESUS YOU'RE WORSE THAN THE GODDAM NFL WIVES TioJaime858 (9:15:46 PM): AND THE CHIP/REICHEN FAGS TioJaime858 (9:15:52 PM): FUCK YOU YOU STUPID STUPID PEOPLE TioJaime858 (9:15:57 PM): see, this is the appeal of TAR TioJaime858 (9:16:04 PM): regular dunderheaded stupid people racing TioJaime858 (9:16:08 PM): you can relate to them TioJaime858 (9:16:19 PM): or at least you know people like that TioJaime858 (9:16:26 PM): rob-tard and amber? TioJaime858 (9:16:41 PM): how can you identify w/that TioJaime858 (9:16:44 PM): you can't TioJaime858 (9:16:53 PM): and don't pull this bostard red sox shit TioJaime858 (9:17:12 PM): you red sox fuckers have finally pissed me off TioJaime858 (9:17:24 PM): OK fags and old people getting tripped up at the taxi TioJaime858 (9:17:28 PM): oh fuck me TioJaime858 (9:17:38 PM): and now the stupid assed gnome is on my goddam tv TioJaime858 (9:17:45 PM): eat my shit you pig fucker TioJaime858 (9:21:18 PM): you're in india, yes TioJaime858 (9:21:32 PM): wuld you like to make some snide remark about minorities? TioJaime858 (9:22:17 PM): aside: i love making snide remarks about minorities, but i don';t think i have carte blanche because i'm a minority TioJaime858 (9:22:32 PM): speaking of two women playing a big role... TioJaime858 (9:22:47 PM): you're looking for the damn clue box you stupid cunt TioJaime858 (9:23:00 PM): rob-tard in first place TioJaime858 (9:23:12 PM): proceed to steel emporium TioJaime858 (9:23:17 PM): damn i still have to do my taxes TioJaime858 (9:23:26 PM): ron/kelly 2nd place TioJaime858 (9:23:48 PM): umm, how new of a way is it you tard TioJaime858 (9:24:00 PM): it's a horse and a cart TioJaime858 (9:24:20 PM): he didn't need to wrap his black, infertile head TioJaime858 (9:24:39 PM): i hope old dudes make the final four TioJaime858 (9:24:53 PM): you stupid queer TioJaime858 (9:25:05 PM): tha'ts so annoying when you act all fruity TioJaime858 (9:25:08 PM): you damn fags TioJaime858 (9:25:17 PM): that's a small horse TioJaime858 (9:25:26 PM): "omigod" TioJaime858 (9:25:30 PM): queers TioJaime858 (9:25:51 PM): 2nd of only 3 yields TioJaime858 (9:26:03 PM): do it TioJaime858 (9:26:11 PM): you're not gonna get another chance you trash redneck TioJaime858 (9:26:20 PM): nice job dumbfucks TioJaime858 (9:26:32 PM): and why must they speak to the fucking camera TioJaime858 (9:26:44 PM): oh yes, jimmy, but a roadblock is a task that only one person can perform TioJaime858 (9:26:54 PM): yeah this is a chick event TioJaime858 (9:27:04 PM): why the fuck would that matter? TioJaime858 (9:27:08 PM): if you see one, you're gonna take it TioJaime858 (9:27:18 PM): you stupid cunt TioJaime858 (9:27:22 PM): stick to the bible TioJaime858 (9:27:34 PM): rob-tard TioJaime858 (9:27:44 PM): cycle-rickshaw to aishbagh TioJaime858 (9:27:57 PM): and a wonderful indian gas station TioJaime858 (9:28:03 PM): you did a good job BABY TioJaime858 (9:28:12 PM): c'mon BABY move fast TioJaime858 (9:28:12 PM): i got one BABE TioJaime858 (9:28:16 PM): shit that was fast! 3 of em just like that TioJaime858 (9:28:38 PM): YEAH NO SHIT YOU SHOULD'VE YIELDED THEM TioJaime858 (9:28:53 PM): THAT'S WHAT YOU GET FOR LISTENING TO THE DUMBSHIT TioJaime858 (9:29:10 PM): oh yes, here's wher ethe fags get eliminated for nto yielding the old people who wouldn't die TioJaime858 (9:29:12 PM): queer TioJaime858 (9:29:23 PM): QUEER TioJaime858 (9:29:27 PM): queers in 3rd place TioJaime858 (9:29:40 PM): queers TioJaime858 (9:29:44 PM): damn i hate gays TioJaime858 (9:30:08 PM): uChenna /joyce in 4th TioJaime858 (9:30:10 PM): uh oh TioJaime858 (9:30:16 PM): oh and now she's confused TioJaime858 (9:30:19 PM): they're fucked TioJaime858 (9:30:32 PM): they should have a special old people edition of the amazing race TioJaime858 (9:30:52 PM): wow they must have had toedit out a lot of shit TioJaime858 (9:31:11 PM): no you haven't opened every doggone box there is TioJaime858 (9:31:18 PM): else you'd be on the bicycle rickshaw already TioJaime858 (9:31:20 PM): tard TioJaime858 (9:32:14 PM): that's just wrong TioJaime858 (9:32:36 PM): and now you're going to teach girls everywhere that their tampons can withstand the weight of two people in a boat TioJaime858 (9:32:41 PM): great TioJaime858 (9:32:46 PM): maybe they had a disclaimer TioJaime858 (9:33:23 PM): MGD chick is hot, but on the whole annoying TioJaime858 (9:33:42 PM): wow that SBC DSL commercial was funny the first time i saw it TioJaime858 (9:34:02 PM): "give em the 411" TioJaime858 (9:34:07 PM): "Okey-doke" TioJaime858 (9:34:08 PM): great TioJaime858 (9:34:22 PM): a black-white buddy buddy puppet schtick TioJaime858 (9:34:52 PM): nice job old chick TioJaime858 (9:35:33 PM): YAY YOU'RE FUCKING ANNOYING TioJaime858 (9:36:04 PM): hey we're kinda overdue for a iraq reminder, aren't we? TioJaime858 (9:36:14 PM): a detour is a choice between two tasks, each with its own pros and cons TioJaime858 (9:36:17 PM): Solid or Liquid TioJaime858 (9:36:32 PM): fill two burlap sacks w/175lbs of coal TioJaime858 (9:36:34 PM): holy shit TioJaime858 (9:37:07 PM): or go serve tea to indian business dudes TioJaime858 (9:37:48 PM): ooh! they're gonna do the overcrowded indian train thing this episode TioJaime858 (9:37:50 PM): hopefully TioJaime858 (9:38:00 PM): not that there's anymore grope-worthy chicks TioJaime858 (9:38:04 PM): you fucking queen TioJaime858 (9:38:08 PM): "ow my butt hurts" TioJaime858 (9:38:17 PM): no fucking shit you damn fag TioJaime858 (9:38:52 PM): they're all doing the tea TioJaime858 (9:39:02 PM): i think i would've chosen the coal TioJaime858 (9:40:21 PM): oh what these foreigners mujst think of us wacky stupid americans TioJaime858 (9:40:36 PM): and now they're bothering people @ work TioJaime858 (9:40:50 PM): not that that looked like a normal office TioJaime858 (9:40:56 PM): wow that got annoying TioJaime858 (9:41:10 PM): "do you have a business card?" TioJaime858 (9:41:13 PM): "do you have a business card?" TioJaime858 (9:41:27 PM): heh fuck you TioJaime858 (9:41:33 PM): they're gonna follow you oh yeah TioJaime858 (9:42:06 PM): wow this has to be one of the most annoying tasks ever TioJaime858 (9:42:58 PM): why are they cheering for the old people? TioJaime858 (9:43:15 PM): oh please don't do the coal thing TioJaime858 (9:43:26 PM): OK good the old people are doing the tea TioJaime858 (9:44:13 PM): why don't you call out your fucking names instead of annoying these nice indians? TioJaime858 (9:44:44 PM): yay we're fags! TioJaime858 (9:45:05 PM): maybe indians like fags too TioJaime858 (9:45:07 PM): queers TioJaime858 (9:49:03 PM): "total jane fonda workout" TioJaime858 (9:49:04 PM): yay for fags delivering tea! TioJaime858 (9:49:25 PM): SHUT THE FUCK UP YOU STUPID BOSTARD-FUCK TioJaime858 (9:50:41 PM): fuck you you sleazy fuck TioJaime858 (9:51:00 PM): "teams must now make their way 1.5 miles to this building, to the roof" TioJaime858 (9:51:11 PM): oh they weren't kidding about "phil and the mat" TioJaime858 (9:51:15 PM): perhaps a new twist? TioJaime858 (9:52:45 PM): you know one of these days, indians will send wacky indians to america to goof on us in *our* office buildings TioJaime858 (9:53:00 PM): oh noes, you indian dude, you caught a case of the gay! TioJaime858 (9:53:54 PM): yeah, fuck you indian dude TioJaime858 (9:54:07 PM): give that other indian dude his tea, you wacky bitches! TioJaime858 (9:54:34 PM): OK new twist? TioJaime858 (9:54:42 PM): maybe phil executes the most annoying team TioJaime858 (9:54:53 PM): ooh a phil-clue! TioJaime858 (9:54:57 PM): this is a twist TioJaime858 (9:55:06 PM): that's somewhat annoying TioJaime858 (9:55:14 PM): oh, to be continued? TioJaime858 (9:55:19 PM): Stay Chuned for scenes from our next episode TioJaime858 (9:55:31 PM): yeah the whole damn season is a to be continued TioJaime858 (9:55:57 PM): bacon bacon bacon! TioJaime858 (9:56:42 PM): oh it's the closeted gay dudes who wait around their driveways for 12 hours to watch weeds die TioJaime858 (9:57:15 PM): on the next episode of TAR TioJaime858 (9:57:26 PM): ooh old dudes gone wwild TioJaime858 (9:57:32 PM): camels get pissed at the americans TioJaime858 (9:57:38 PM): OK that's all for now TioJaime858 (9:57:40 PM): tax time TioJaime858 (9:57:42 PM): yay TioJaime858 (9:58:06 PM): ooh another joan chick TioJaime858 (9:58:29 PM): joan of arcadia is hotoh my, my tacoma can beat adrenalitis TioJaime858 (9:58:36 PM): oh hi hot chick in purple TioJaime858 (9:58:48 PM): ha ha fuck you cats TioJaime858 (9:59:01 PM): yeah whatever

3am Criticism of The Ellen Pompeo Show Grey's Anatomy, episode 3

This is a good show. And not just because of Ellen Pompeo. Or Sandra Oh.

But don't take my word for it. Check it out and see for yourself!

whoa. was reading about commander laforge and reading rainbow.... he's been hosting that show since 1983! that's a lot of readage! was anybody else out ther ein the SHoP bothered when his blindness was cured in ST:Generations? And while i'm on the subject, Data was annoying too with his stupid emotion chip. And I don't remember if it was Generations or First Contact, but yeah dude, if I were directing a movie and would be able to write it into the script and appease the star trek nerds who know what "Imzadi" means in Betazed, then yes, I would've called for a scene w/me and marina sirtis naked in a tub. Even though I was more of a dr. crusher kinda guy

Jihad Jimmy, Chief Defender of the Faith

3am Criticism of Grey's Anatomy, episode 3

You are now in chat room “GAep3.” TioJaime858 has entered the chat room. TioJaime858 (8:07:10 PM): hello dere! TioJaime858 (8:07:44 PM): OK so i know i'ma couple of days late, but here's episode 3 of Grey's Anatomy! TioJaime858 (8:07:49 PM): starring ellen pompeo TioJaime858 (8:07:50 PM): and sandra oh TioJaime858 (8:07:55 PM): but mainly ellen pompeo TioJaime858 (8:07:59 PM): dammit who's calling? TioJaime858 (8:14:17 PM): OK that was my mom TioJaime858 (8:14:22 PM): and now we're presed TioJaime858 (8:14:33 PM): 46 minutes to go through grey's anatomy TioJaime858 (8:14:36 PM): ooh ellen pompeo TioJaime858 (8:14:44 PM): in pajamas TioJaime858 (8:14:56 PM): i like the dude TioJaime858 (8:15:36 PM): i like the kathryn heigl chick too TioJaime858 (8:15:42 PM): not that i watched my dad the hero TioJaime858 (8:15:49 PM): ooh blackt0r 1 TioJaime858 (8:15:58 PM): ooh downtown seattle TioJaime858 (8:16:02 PM): i miss seattle TioJaime858 (8:16:21 PM): great TioJaime858 (8:16:27 PM): "fools on bikes killing themselves" TioJaime858 (8:16:34 PM): and why the dick dude TioJaime858 (8:16:42 PM): blackt0rs 2 and 3 TioJaime858 (8:16:43 PM): and 1 TioJaime858 (8:16:55 PM): underground bike race! TioJaime858 (8:17:39 PM): OK i think i missed 3 rules TioJaime858 (8:17:44 PM): i'll check them later TioJaime858 (8:18:05 PM): "it's like candy, but w/blood, only soo much better TioJaime858 (8:18:08 PM): " TioJaime858 (8:18:18 PM): ohi guess brent blogged that last week in the "stay chuned" TioJaime858 (8:19:05 PM): OK less slut, more cool ellen pompeo shit TioJaime858 (8:19:15 PM): oha bike messenger w/an accent TioJaime858 (8:19:43 PM): blackt0r! TioJaime858 (8:19:51 PM): 2! TioJaime858 (8:20:17 PM): ooh brain-dead TioJaime858 (8:20:24 PM): i like how the asian chick is teh smart one TioJaime858 (8:20:59 PM): and another black dude TioJaime858 (8:21:11 PM): seriously, in seattle? i knew like 2 black people TioJaime858 (8:21:23 PM): umm, yeah put the cigarette butt in the trashcan TioJaime858 (8:21:29 PM): or maybe he put it in the toilet TioJaime858 (8:21:47 PM): but he's a mariner? TioJaime858 (8:21:52 PM): oh no i guess not TioJaime858 (8:22:18 PM): he'll think of something TioJaime858 (8:22:19 PM): great TioJaime858 (8:22:24 PM): so far, not so good TioJaime858 (8:22:46 PM): and fast forward through commercials TioJaime858 (8:22:49 PM): who the hell is calling? TioJaime858 (8:22:57 PM): it was kim TioJaime858 (8:23:03 PM): i'll call back later TioJaime858 (8:23:38 PM): what kind of intern wastes her time debating something like a brain-dead patient TioJaime858 (8:24:34 PM): blah blah blah human element TioJaime858 (8:24:58 PM): stupid foreigners TioJaime858 (8:25:29 PM): "the frat guy said i could go" TioJaime858 (8:25:33 PM): "the frat guy is an ass" TioJaime858 (8:25:38 PM): oh man TioJaime858 (8:25:39 PM): she's hot TioJaime858 (8:26:15 PM): i wanna make out w/a cute doctor for good luck TioJaime858 (8:26:20 PM): or just ellen pompeo TioJaime858 (8:26:27 PM): definitely not patrick dempsey TioJaime858 (8:26:46 PM): la la la TioJaime858 (8:27:50 PM): "his death should mean something" TioJaime858 (8:27:59 PM): heh, she wants a harvest surgery TioJaime858 (8:28:07 PM): oh yes yes TioJaime858 (8:28:16 PM): i would like to have sandra oh harvest my organ TioJaime858 (8:28:30 PM): LOL TioJaime858 (8:28:35 PM): "get yours i'm down w/the rainbow" TioJaime858 (8:28:51 PM): OK and now the dork-dude's gonna get the hot chick TioJaime858 (8:29:04 PM): if only because the frat ass said he was gay TioJaime858 (8:29:18 PM): ooh hi hot indian nurse TioJaime858 (8:29:46 PM): ooh yeah tieing it all in baby TioJaime858 (8:29:56 PM): and now she's talking to the comatose dude TioJaime858 (8:30:11 PM): no kim until after the amazing race TioJaime858 (8:30:31 PM): OK hot chick TioJaime858 (8:30:50 PM): nice job hot chick TioJaime858 (8:31:16 PM): wow that was a first TioJaime858 (8:31:24 PM): not even any time for a victoria's secret commercial TioJaime858 (8:31:44 PM): oh la la la TioJaime858 (8:32:10 PM): ooh i-5! TioJaime858 (8:32:17 PM): LOL TioJaime858 (8:32:32 PM): OK for some reason i didn't see the gay thing TioJaime858 (8:32:37 PM): see? that's how homophobic i am TioJaime858 (8:32:52 PM): if i truly was a fag-hater, i would've been all over the fag angle TioJaime858 (8:32:59 PM): fuck you democrats TioJaime858 (8:34:22 PM): "i am a surgeon, i save lives" TioJaime858 (8:34:26 PM): "whip one out" TioJaime858 (8:34:38 PM): that would've sucked if ellen pompeo a/o sandra oh whipped one out TioJaime858 (8:34:39 PM): or two TioJaime858 (8:35:58 PM): see how they run TioJaime858 (8:36:12 PM): OK i have toconfess that i don't know who burke is TioJaime858 (8:36:24 PM): oh it's blackt0r 2 TioJaime858 (8:37:05 PM): oh yay he has a name TioJaime858 (8:38:12 PM): whoa is blackt0r3 gay too? TioJaime858 (8:38:14 PM): yay for gay! TioJaime858 (8:38:51 PM): i hate frat boy TioJaime858 (8:38:55 PM): what a cock TioJaime858 (8:39:07 PM): kick him in the balls TioJaime858 (8:39:16 PM): "frat boy bitch" TioJaime858 (8:39:47 PM): what a cockmaster TioJaime858 (8:39:56 PM): but i would like to be tied up by ellen pompeo and sandra oh TioJaime858 (8:39:59 PM): oh yesh TioJaime858 (8:40:24 PM): OK normally, we all know what's going through her mind, but this time we don't TioJaime858 (8:40:35 PM): LOL TioJaime858 (8:40:39 PM): "when i'm upset i like to nest" TioJaime858 (8:40:59 PM): "I HATE CHINESE FOOD" TioJaime858 (8:41:07 PM): wow i have no real idea why she's pissed.... TioJaime858 (8:41:09 PM): commercial.... TioJaime858 (8:41:28 PM): ooh TioJaime858 (8:41:38 PM): at 8:41 i have 23 minutes left in the tape TioJaime858 (8:41:47 PM): i should be able to make up two minutes befor TioJaime858 (8:41:50 PM): before TAR7 TioJaime858 (8:42:30 PM): ha ha 2 women got the harvest TioJaime858 (8:42:39 PM): boobs do not factor TioJaime858 (8:42:53 PM): i *should* like that guy but he's too much of a cock TioJaime858 (8:43:18 PM): yay for corneal transplants! TioJaime858 (8:44:23 PM): OK and now the asian doctor was phased TioJaime858 (8:44:26 PM): "i'm not a people person" TioJaime858 (8:44:30 PM): no shit TioJaime858 (8:45:04 PM): blackt0r 1 has a human moment! TioJaime858 (8:45:13 PM): and about 1 every three episodes? sure TioJaime858 (8:45:23 PM): i'd expect one black person every three episodes TioJaime858 (8:45:53 PM): "mr mackey, no offense, but you're not my type" TioJaime858 (8:45:58 PM): "oh child please" TioJaime858 (8:46:44 PM): yeah like we didn't see that coming TioJaime858 (8:46:50 PM): o'malley is attracted to meredith TioJaime858 (8:46:54 PM): and he knows he can't have her TioJaime858 (8:47:01 PM): he's gonna have the hot chick TioJaime858 (8:47:17 PM): that was a shitty non sequitor TioJaime858 (8:47:41 PM): she was saying goodbye TioJaime858 (8:47:55 PM): oh wow and it looks like blackt0r 2 has been there before TioJaime858 (8:48:10 PM): yay for cock boy TioJaime858 (8:48:25 PM): and now the foreign bike messenger TioJaime858 (8:48:29 PM): coughing up blood TioJaime858 (8:48:32 PM): commercial TioJaime858 (8:48:41 PM): here's where i make up time oh yues yes TioJaime858 (8:49:07 PM): shit, i'm still about two minutes behind TioJaime858 (8:49:11 PM): i think i miscounted before TioJaime858 (8:49:41 PM): i want ellen pompeo to straddle me TioJaime858 (8:50:01 PM): heh get out cock boy TioJaime858 (8:50:56 PM): you dumb hot chick TioJaime858 (8:51:08 PM): yeah, do you really need sandra oh to explain this shit to you? TioJaime858 (8:52:18 PM): that would suck if o'malley dropped it TioJaime858 (8:52:53 PM): Ok that was a cool montage TioJaime858 (8:56:14 PM): yay for seattle street trash TioJaime858 (8:56:22 PM): better than san francisco street trash TioJaime858 (8:56:49 PM): yay for her good smelling hair TioJaime858 (8:57:04 PM): she's kinda squinty TioJaime858 (8:57:07 PM): but i'm Ok w/that TioJaime858 (8:57:52 PM): heh TioJaime858 (8:57:58 PM): "the pretty ones always come crawling back" TioJaime858 (8:58:33 PM): "Victories are counted by the hunber of lives saved" TioJaime858 (8:58:41 PM): and just how did the bike messengers save lives? TioJaime858 (8:58:48 PM): ooh and sandra oh is in the house now TioJaime858 (8:59:00 PM): yay for horsey koreans TioJaime858 (8:59:06 PM): "the life you save may be your own" TioJaime858 (8:59:27 PM): something cool happened but i wasn't really payiing attention TioJaime858 (8:59:50 PM): shit, that may have cost me TioJaime858 (9:00:19 PM): heh she takes her shirt off TioJaime858 (9:00:23 PM): shit! TioJaime858 (9:00:26 PM): starting a new room

Another Day, Another Defecation

A conversation I had a few minutes ago on the company Nextel...

ForemanAnthony: James, you there? EngineerTioJaime: Anthony, go ahead. ForemanAnthony: You never made it back to the office, did you? EngineerTioJaime: I'm actually pulling into Benicia right now. ForemanAnthony: OK, gimme a call when you're back at your desk. EngineerTioJaime: Sure thing, gimme like three min-- no better give me ten minutes. I gotta use the bathroom. ForemanAnthony: OK just gimme a call when you're seated. EngineerTioJaime: I'm guessing you meant "seated at my desk".

No response, but lay 50 to win 1 that's what he meant.

Jihad Jimmy, Chief Defender of the Faith

Iraqi Freedom 2.0

From the Wall Street Journal:

Iraqi Freedom 2.0
Those who flinched in the hard times, and those who didn't.

Tuesday, April 12, 2005 12:01 a.m. EDT

A year ago, on the first anniversary of the capture of Baghdad, the Boston Globe carried a doleful op-ed by Clinton Administration diplomat Peter Galbraith. In handling the postwar effort, he wrote, President Bush had "transformed a difficult mission into an unachievable one."

The Administration had been unable "to devise--and stick with--a coherent strategy to transfer power to Iraqis." It had inflicted "irreparable" psychological damage on the populace. It had failed to anticipate predictable scenarios, such as the looting in Baghdad. It had mismanaged interethnic rivalries to the point that "civil war [loomed]" between Shiites and Kurds. And so on.

A year on, a freely elected Iraqi parliament has named Jalal Talabani, a Kurd, as president, and Ibrahim Jafari, a Shiite, as prime minister, following two months of political horse-trading. Despite the Sunni boycott of January's elections, Sunni politicians will take six cabinet-level posts, including the defense ministry. Insurgent attacks are down in the country, while U.S. training of Iraqi forces is going well enough that commanders may soon reduce U.S. troop levels. In short, we have made great progress toward achieving our original strategic goals in Iraq, with positive ripple effects throughout the Middle East.

We don't single out Mr. Galbraith to underscore how wrong Administration critics turned out to be. Rather, like others who supported the President's decision to go to war in March 2003, he is emblematic of how the U.S. effort nearly came undone: not because of this or that tactical misstep, but because too many among America's elite lost their nerve when the going got tough.

This may well be the most important lesson coming out of the Iraq war. The outcome of major combat operations was never seriously in doubt, although plenty of supposedly serious people predicted the siege of Baghdad would be America's Stalingrad. What was in doubt, however, was whether the U.S. could prevail if the war became an extended test of wills against a determined foe using guerrilla and terrorist tactics. This was a test not of the skill or bravery of the American soldier, but of the home front's willingness to see the war through; a test in which the key to victory wasn't competence but perseverance.

President Bush passed that test. He did so by dint of the very characteristics his critics found so objectionable: his certitude that going to war was the right thing to do; his conviction that Iraqis want to be free. To prevail, Mr. Bush had to wager his Presidency on a course of action that, by the summer of 2004, the chattering classes believed was doomed. The American people also passed the test. We don't buy the myth that Mr. Bush bamboozled the public into believing there was a connection between Saddam Hussein and the attacks of September 11. Still, most Americans understood that, in their respective but parallel efforts, Saddam and Osama bin Laden were both testing America's credibility, which had been diminished during the Clinton years.

Americans also understood that credibility had to be restored if the war on terror was to be won, above all by not devising "exit strategies" in the face of a jihadist onslaught. As for tactics, whatever the public's qualms about Mr. Bush's handling of the war, they were persuaded that he was committed to seeing it through, a commitment Senator John Kerry did not convincingly share.

That leaves America's elite--the politicians, wise men, think-tank experts, academics, magazine and editorial-page editors, big-city columnists, TV commentators. Many opposed the war from the start, and whether they have now reassessed their views in light of recent events is a matter of some interest. But because they never signed on to the war in the first place, the question of their fortitude throughout its ups and downs is less an issue.

The people who really concern us here--the people who did not pass the test--are those who signed up for the war at the beginning only to find one excuse or another to sign out before it was won. Usually, those excuses centered on some Bush bungle, real or alleged, that no "competent" Administration would have made but that was said to have rendered the whole enterprise morally sullied and irremediable. The looting of Baghdad falls into this category, as does the political wallowing in the abuses of Abu Ghraib.

In this respect, Mr. Galbraith and his ilk are heirs to that generation of '60s leaders who took the U.S. into Vietnam only to turn against the war in fits of self-doubt, self-flagellation, excessive fine-tuning and political cravenness, after thousands of servicemen had lost their lives. Sad to say, this time around the doubters included all too many conservatives who supported the war at first but then distanced themselves from it as the insurgency grew. They had their own reputational "exit strategies."

We have had our criticisms of the way the Administration handled the prewar diplomatic and postwar reconstruction and counterinsurgency effort. But no chapter of America's military history has been free of strategic mistakes and tactical disasters, and our lodestar throughout has been the goal of eventual victory. As we wrote at the onset of war, in March 2003, "Toppling Saddam is a long-term undertaking" and "The largest risk is an imponderable: Whether Americans can generate the political consensus to sustain involvement in Iraq."

Two years later we know the answer to that question is yes, thanks to the fortitude and wisdom of a President, our soldiers and the American public. Maybe next time, our best and brightest will show the same character.

Hiatus has broken

Hello dere. My days of being pissed at the Ministry of Truth to the point of not posting are over. Now I'm simply pissed at the MiniTrue enough to make it glaringly obvious in any future posts.

And I ain't rating any more of my eff-ing posts. A lot of eff-ing good it does me to go that extra mile to try to please a friend. Oh, i'll do my best to remain clean according to the new Don and Mike guidelines and even 1-Up them by limiting blasphemy. But there's no eff-ing guarantee. Learn to live with disappointment.

So where to begin?

Sophomoric potty humor on I-680 north just past the CA-24 interchange
Well, first off when I was driving to work today I passed some car with a magnet advertisement for his company. He specialized in "coin-operated entertainment" and "arcade games". And what really made me giggle like a schoolgirl was the name. Beat the Wizard.

(And oh lookee here that link has another instance of the MiniTrue's panties being in a bunch. I used a racial slur in a purely factual, non-inflammatory context, but in the interests of being Politically Correct and not wanting to hurt anybody's feelings and boosting people's self-esteem and promoting diversity, it was deleted. Should I have been surprised? Well, yes. I thought the MiniTrue more principled than that. Silly me.)

And suh-weet-ah! They have a website! OK, not a very good one... still confused about "Beat the Wizard"? Picture if you will chickens being choked or monkeys being spanked or dolphins being flogged or one-eyed gophers being polished. And shit, no, don't picture that figuratively because poof! you're a gay, but picture it literally and now perhaps you'll have a better insight into my masturbatory euphemisms. There. "Masturbatory Euphemism". There's your hint. Go with it.

Re: MiniTrue's approved video post
Cool video, I even impressed Brijinder w/knowledge of a Dr. Mario song... However, as a purist, I noted the following to the point of detracting from my enjoyment of the video...

1) Tool! The old NES never beeped when you put a cartridge in! However, blowing dust out of the cartridge was a very nice touch.
2) The a capella arrangements suck.
3) That Tetris theme was never on the 8-bit nintendo. Not even on the unauthorized Tengen version.
4) Mortal Kombat was never on the 8-bit NES. This is a good example of running out of material. The Cal Band did this a lot during halftime shows loosely tied together with a unrecognizable theme.
5) Nothing in the Hyrule overworld dies when you hit it with the boomerang, they only temporarily freeze. In the underworld, the tiny bats and tiny hershey's kisses die when you boomerang them, but that's it.

On the whole, entertaining, but college kids with time on their hands could've done sooo much more with this idea. Had MIT or Berkeley done something like this, it'd travel around the internet(s) a lot faster. It would've stuck to one system and utilized cooler theme songs like Rad Racer or Castlevania. The skits would've been way more lavish as well. We nerds put a lot of stock into authenticity and consistency.

Well, for the most part we do...

Jihad Jimmy, Chief Defender of the Faith!
Again, check out more South Park Republicans here at MVRWC.

The nickname Tio Jaime probably conjures up sombreros and those mexican carpet ponchos and bandoliers and fu manchu moustaches. I'll check for that on the south park avatar generator later. But for now, Jihad Jimmy will have to satiate your racial misconceptions for now.

Ooh, a brief snippet on South Park Republicans

South Park Republicans are true Republicans, though they do not look or act like Pat Robertson. They believe in liberty, not conformity. They can enjoy watching The Sopranos even if they are New Jersey Italians. They can appreciate the tight abs of Britney Spears or Brad Pitt without worrying about the nation's decaying moral fiber. They strongly believe in liberty, personal responsibility, limited government, and free markets. However, they do not live by the edicts of political correctness.

Emphasis mine. Sniping also mine. Will see you later tonight for TAR7.

Jihad Jimmy, Chief Defender of the Faith

Yeah...Old school.

Click on the post title to get at the video.

Ten bucks says this was done at MIT.

SouthPark SixHertz Gallery

Beth from My Vast Right Wing Conspiracy started up a South Park gallery of bloggers. Well, I have my own character in action:

Back to work in the Middle East

Blending into the crowd in Malta...

Espionage in Espanol

Using the natural scenery to hide my identity

Reporting back to the President...

A message to the guy taking a leak in the urinal next to me

Taken from Craigslist.

Our encounter was purely happenstance but certainly unforgettable. Not unforgettable in the way a guy never forgets unclasping a bra for the first time and inhaling the sweet aroma of exposed breasts...but unforgettable in the sense that our encounter continues to haunt me weeks later and I am only now able to gather the strength to anonymously discuss this incident in the amalgamous vacuum of CL.

On my incoming flight from New York to Chicago, my body managed to consume, process, and contain two delicious, refreshing, and complimentary cans of cran-apple during the 2.5 hour flight on top of the 16 ounces of Aquafina I guzzled prior to boarding. As the captain turned on the fasten seat-belt sign indicating our final descent I ignored the polite reminders from my bladder that it was time to pee. As the captain taxied from Arlington Heights to gate K5, I battled through the pee-pee dance as I sat wedged in 26B. As I stood waiting for the herd of cattle seated in front of me to shuffle out of the plane, I fought the juvenile urge to cross my legs and shove both hands over my crotch. As I exited the plane, I politely thanked the attractive young flight attendant whose cran-apple generosity had gotten me into this mess and trampled the small group of octogenarians that dared to slow my ascent up the jetbridge and into the concourse.

Located at the end of O'Hare's concourse K, I spotted my target and ignited the afterburners. Turning the doorless privacy corner inherent to all airport bathrooms, my rollerboard skidded and pitched to one side. In a flash of bag-control skills that would bring a smile to the Dukes of Hazard, I deftly returned the rollerboard to its natural and stable two-wheeled position and forged into the fog of post-flight feces. Eyeing the urinals, I went through the subconscious urinal selection process that every male initiates when using a public restroom. [Although I'm sure females must go through a somewhat similar process in selecting a stall, the nature of urinals dictates that males not only select based on general geographical position, but also on a flash physical and social read of the other restroom patrons. The last thing most guys want to deal with while peeing is making friends with the person at the urinal next to you, but every guy knows that those 'urinpals' are out there and should be avoided at the expense of selecting geographically undesirable urinals. Worse yet are the guys that pull up to the urinal and experience stage fright, exposing the two of you to an awkward moment of silence where both of you want nothing more then for him to start peeing.] But I digress...

Although the decision may have appeared instantaneous to onlookers, my mind raced through the customary checklist before deciding on the second urinal from the left (or fourth urinal from the door, depending on how you look at it). Due to heavy traffic, my only other option was the midget urinal located closest to the door and within mere inches of the first sink. My decision to pass on the midget urinal had less to do with the fear that a vertically challenged powerlifter would kick my ass for using the little people's toilet, and more to do with the fear that the tremendous backpressure created by my swollen bladder combined with the additional stream-travel-distance would certainly leave splatter marks on the knee caps of my light colored pants.

It was this innocent decision that opened the proverbial door to our first, and hopefully final, encounter. There you were, peeing into the third urinal from the left (or third urinal from the door, depending on how you look at it). "An interesting choice, selecting the middle urinal in a pack of 5 tightly packed urinals without privacy dividers," I thought to myself. Based on the overflowing traffic in and out of the bathroom, I assumed that you did not have a choice in the matter. Unphased, I quickly unzipped my pants and took aim as my angry bladder indicated that I no longer had a choice as to when these Aquafina-diluted cran-apples were exiting.

Had there been a shelf or a handle two feet above the toilet, I certainly would have ripped it out of the tiles. This was the type of penis release that is best done with one hand gripping the wall...urine had somehow permeated throughout my body and into my fingertips and could only be expunged via gravity. The porcelain's drowning screams for mercy were partially muted by my kidney's grunts of relief as my basketball sized bladder retreated to its normal confines within my inner cavity. As the minutes passed and my blackout feeling of utter liberation slowly subsided, I regained my peripheral vision and noticed that every piss jockey at this particular trough had been replaced (some a couple times over) except for me at urinal #2 and you at urinal #3.

Through the rushing sounds of my ammonia laden stream splashing the 3" diameter aqua target at the center of my urinal, I ran some numbers and estimated that I had been flowing for 2 minutes and 28 seconds. "This is incredible," I thought, "here I am about to set the all-time record for world's longest piss; and this goober next to me is trying to outlast me and claim what is rightfully mine." Jogging my mental notes, I also realized that since he had arrived at his urinal prior to my Evil Kinevil bathroom entrance, I was totally unaware aware of how many seconds (or minutes, for that matter) I had to last beyond his final drip.

In an effort to catch a glimpse of the nameless man who was about to top my gold medal golden shower, I strained my peripheral vision. My years of playing competitive sports and surfing the internet at work had given me an almost superhuman vision field which allowed me to take a mental picture of you as you laughed in the face of my best efforts. It was through this peripheral strain that I noticed your hand was involved in some extracurricular motions which indicated to me that you were shaking out the last few drops. "Victory!!" I cried as my pee flowed without signs of hesitation.

Whether it was my victory cry, subdued fist pumping or superhuman urinary tract that set you off kilter, I'll never know. But it was precisely at this point, amidst my record-breaking celebration and final sprint through the home stretch, that I noticed you twisting your head in my direction and fidgeting uncontrollably. While I anticipated that my urinary performance would draw some attention, I didn't anticipate that it would draw so much attention from you that you would break all urinal etiquette and drop your eyes below shoulder level. Besides, how many times did you really have to shake your penis? Every grown man knows that you could shake it once, or shake it 20 times, and you're still going to get that one drop that plans its untimely exit as your little king returns to his boxer kingdom.

Suddenly, as I approached the record-setting 3 minute mark, I began to piece your filthy little puzzle together. You planted yourself at the middle urinal in a heavy traffic restroom without privacy barriers between the urinals, you had been in the restroom longer than I had, and here I was setting an untouchable record, you had been shaking the final drips out of your wang for God know how long, you keep looking at me and at my thing. "WAIT! YOU LEWD PIECE OF SHIT; YOU'RE MASTURBATING!!" my mind screamed.

If I wasn't frozen with utter disgust, fear, anger, and nauseousness I would have kicked your ass! I'm sure you remember the death look that I gave you, because I distinctly remember looking into your beady little eyes and seeing the fear of death staring back at me. Had we not been in a public place and had I not been afraid you would try to swing your boner at me, I would have dropped you. Had I not been completely caught off guard, I would have yelled a warning cry to all airport patrons within 200 yards that you were an absolute sicko. I would have catalyzed a mob that would have certainly ripped your little prick off to prevent you from ever reproducing miniature perverts.

Lucky for you I was too paralyzed to do anything but retreat in utter mortification. Some three weeks later, I am still healing my emotional wounds. I have difficulties urinating in public. I can only pee alone behind closed doors or in empty bathrooms. I no longer look down on fellow restroomers suffering from urinary stage fright'for they may have stage fright for good reason after being exposed to a sick piece of shit like you.

My therapist said that writing this down will help me cope with the tragedy, but unbeknownst to my therapist, this message also serves two other purposes. This message serves as a warning to other patrons of the O'Hare International Airport's mens rooms, as well as public restrooms throughout the world, that there are some sick fucks walking amongst us. And, this message is my fair warning that next time I see you, your beady little eyes, or your shriveled old dick I'm going to make one smartass remark, just to remind you of who I am, like you know, if you shake it more than once it's called playing with yourself.

Then I'm going to kick your face in.

I'm thinking we should have Craigslist Friday specials. You can't make this stuff up. :)

Ever wonder why George Lucas has a God complex?

While TioJaime is pissed off with the Ministry of Truth (me) for causing the (albeit indirect) deletion of his post, I figured I'll endeavor to become a bit more active in my postings as I've been in the past. This kind of amused me:

'Star Wars' fans wait at wrong theater
Studio says film will open May 19 at ArcLight, not Chinese

Thursday, April 7, 2005 Posted: 12:25 AM EDT (0425 GMT)
LOS ANGELES, California (AP) -- "Star Wars" fans will have to find the right theater before they can leave for the dark side.

Seven weeks before its release, "Star Wars" fanatics started lining up outside Grauman's Chinese Theater for the sixth installment of the popular George Lucas movie series. The vigil began Saturday.

But there's a problem: "Star Wars: Episode III -- Revenge of the Sith" won't be showing at the Hollywood landmark when the movie is released May 19. The studio, 20th Century Fox, opted instead to open the film a mile away at the ArcLight theater.

Still, the resolute "Star Wars" die-hards aren't moving on. Beneath a makeshift awning, 11 people refused to relinquish their spots in line.

"We've heard all this before," fan Sarah Sprague said, noting there were plenty of rumors in 1999 and 2002 that previous "Star Wars" movies weren't opening at the Chinese Theater. The rumors were false and the films were shown there.

Fox and the ArcLight haven't completed their "Star Wars" deal, but executives on both sides told Daily Variety that "Revenge of the Sith" will play at the ArcLight, not the Chinese.

Yet Sprague was adamant the line wouldn't be moving to the ArcLight.

"This is still the epicenter for 'Star Wars' fans. For the big iconic pictures of the 1970s, people lining up were here. They weren't at the Cinerama Dome (at the ArcLight)," Sprague said.

Lucas' final "Star Wars" chapter spells out the last dark steps the once goodhearted young Anakin Skywalker takes to become the villain Darth Vader.

Okay, people. Maybe...MAYBE stay in line overnight... But, dude. C'mon. What are you doing? FORTY-THREE DAYS TO WAIT IN LINE!? I hope Triumph the Insult Comic Dog visits these uber-dorks again.

(NC-17) (G) Worktime hijinks!

WARNING: THE FOLLOWING POST HAS BEEN GIVEN AN NC-17 RATING DUE TO VULGARITY AND OFFENSIVE INVECTIVES. PLEASE READ AT YOUR OWN RISK.

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Hello dere... I haven't edited out any bad words, just content. Any bad words edited out are due to SixH.

And in the event that some of our bad words are edited for decency, I may just be tempted to post the entire unedited version in the Xanga Province. Maybe. We'll see.

all my love,
Tio Jaime

ps- go giants

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TioJaime (2:37:50 PM): hello dere

---

Fuck it. You know what's better than blogger.com eating a post? The Ministry of Truth eating your post, or in this case, making you eat your own post.

Hope you were able to catch some of it before i deleted it just now.

Goodnight. it's fucking late.

jihad jimmy

Better than Mapquest

Gotta hand it to google....

(G) some quick George Will...

isn't it nice how George Will is able to incorporate conservative politics into baseball?? Any wonder, then, why I'm always advocating his column to my friends?

Unfortunately, my baseball friends are all LIbEralS, and my conservative friends don't watch baseball. The ones who best fit the bill are dodgers and Los Angeles Angels of Anahym fans...

The Old Ballgame Still Has Its Grip
George Will, 03 April 2005

Conservatives are forever being lectured that "you can't turn the clock back" -- and shouldn't want to. Oh? This season, for the first time since the Astrodome opened in 1965, every National League game will be played on real grass. What a concept.

He also has some good columns recently about renegade judges and filibustering, but really I'm more in the basebally mood.

Go Giants,
Jihad Jimmy, Chief Defender of the Faith

(R) Live 3am Criticism of TAR7, Episode 6

8:37pm - I've poured myself some GDF, and am patiently awaiting TAR. Come find me online, and I'd be happy to let you in on the 3am Criticism, provided that you're on the Left Coast. Because check out the time stamps, we're live baby

Ooh, and i can already feel the GDF working its lovely lovely magic... So come find me online. Use your deductive skills.

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Live 3am Criticism of The Amazing Race 7, episode 6 yay for the GDF

You are now in chat room “TARep6.” TioJaime858 has entered the chat room. TioJaime858 (8:44:22 PM): hello dere! Poke00210 (8:44:40 PM): uhh, Don and MIke? Poke00210 (8:44:44 PM): whoops TioJaime858 (8:44:58 PM): Uhh, don and mike? TioJaime858 (8:45:13 PM): kiss the eye! TioJaime858 (8:45:14 PM): listening to an old episode so i can make clips TioJaime858 (8:50:06 PM): we're 10 mins away TioJaime858 (8:50:40 PM): still making clips TioJaime858 (8:50:44 PM): uhh, don and mike? TioJaime858 (8:58:01 PM): OK that took a long time TioJaime858 (8:58:08 PM): almost an hour, and i haven't made a single clip TioJaime858 (8:58:10 PM): eh TioJaime858 (8:58:15 PM): let's get retarded TioJaime858 (8:58:24 PM): turning on the tv... now! TioJaime858 (8:58:47 PM): oh we're ready, BABY! TioJaime858 (8:59:06 PM): yeah beause CSI dudes can distinguish hate crimes TioJaime858 (8:59:19 PM): what w/forensic evidence and all TioJaime858 (8:59:42 PM): that goth chick is kinda cute TioJaime858 (9:00:20 PM): Previously on TAR! TioJaime858 (9:00:38 PM): gretchen fell TioJaime858 (9:00:38 PM): heh TioJaime858 (9:00:46 PM): i like the old couple TioJaime858 (9:00:53 PM): and Shooting Blancks TioJaime858 (9:01:05 PM): yay for nelson mandela's 'hood TioJaime858 (9:01:22 PM): d'oh TioJaime858 (9:01:33 PM): LA dudes flipped their car TioJaime858 (9:01:47 PM): nicejob brothers TioJaime858 (9:01:50 PM): i like those guys TioJaime858 (9:01:59 PM): cool TioJaime858 (9:02:04 PM): i like those dudes now TioJaime858 (9:02:22 PM): A! MAZE! ING! TioJaime858 (9:02:26 PM): AMAZING! TioJaime858 (9:02:30 PM): A! MAZE! ING! AMAZING TioJaime858 (9:02:35 PM): A MAZING RACE! TioJaime858 (9:02:38 PM): A MAZING RACE! TioJaime858 (9:02:41 PM): A MAZING RACE! TioJaime858 (9:02:46 PM): A! MAZE! ING! AMAZING TioJaime858 (9:02:51 PM): A! MAZE! ING! AMAZING! TioJaime858 (9:03:02 PM): oh yay a stupid red sox movie TioJaime858 (9:03:24 PM): great TioJaime858 (9:03:39 PM): wow i think i hate Boston now TioJaime858 (9:04:23 PM): ooh hi waitress boobs TioJaime858 (9:04:32 PM): oh i was gonna call the Young Turk,huh? TioJaime858 (9:04:38 PM): i'll call her tomorrow TioJaime858 (9:04:41 PM): or maybe i'll stop by tomorrow TioJaime858 (9:05:08 PM): CSI: Melina Kanakaredes TioJaime858 (9:05:17 PM): she's hot and old but also hot TioJaime858 (9:05:23 PM): This is Botswana TioJaime858 (9:05:37 PM): phil! TioJaime858 (9:06:17 PM): ron/kelly first to depart 5:29am TioJaime858 (9:06:38 PM): teams must now drive 141 miles past a town, 48 miles to anotehr village toa water tower TioJaime858 (9:06:56 PM): yes, read the bible and substitute your name for Love TioJaime858 (9:07:13 PM): rob-tard 2nd to depart 5:43am TioJaime858 (9:07:19 PM): STFU TioJaime858 (9:07:31 PM): oh *now* the gloves are off? TioJaime858 (9:07:35 PM): yeah like you were pulling punches before TioJaime858 (9:07:57 PM): uChenna/joyce 3rd to depart TioJaime858 (9:08:08 PM): uChenna is bona fide nigerian TioJaime858 (9:08:21 PM): gay-boys TioJaime858 (9:08:26 PM): 4th to depart 5:52am TioJaime858 (9:08:46 PM): it's bush TioJaime858 (9:08:58 PM): you probably woulnd't recognize that TioJaime858 (9:09:04 PM): old dues 5th to depart TioJaime858 (9:09:13 PM): do the dew TioJaime858 (9:09:30 PM): whoa gretchen is all tore-up TioJaime858 (9:09:34 PM): no whammies! TioJaime858 (9:09:40 PM): wow that was fast, i like those guys TioJaime858 (9:09:47 PM): oh don't owrry, they'll bottleneck TioJaime858 (9:10:22 PM): wow i'd hate to drive stick left-handed TioJaime858 (9:11:02 PM): dubmfucks TioJaime858 (9:11:06 PM): dumbfucks TioJaime858 (9:11:30 PM): singing fags again TioJaime858 (9:11:40 PM): you fag TioJaime858 (9:11:55 PM): "stupid cow" TioJaime858 (9:11:57 PM): cool TioJaime858 (9:12:20 PM): ahh TioJaime858 (9:12:34 PM): yeah, umm, i think you're lost TioJaime858 (9:12:39 PM): OK maun TioJaime858 (9:13:05 PM): A Detour is a choice between two tasks, each with its own pros and cons TioJaime858 (9:13:08 PM): carry it or milk it TioJaime858 (9:13:22 PM): carry three items on yoru heads TioJaime858 (9:13:45 PM): milk 10oz from goats TioJaime858 (9:13:51 PM): ooh boobs TioJaime858 (9:13:57 PM): janky boobs TioJaime858 (9:14:14 PM): LOL TioJaime858 (9:14:16 PM): dumbfuck TioJaime858 (9:14:42 PM): you should've seen the buckets of water and immediately gone to the goats TioJaime858 (9:14:53 PM): run amber-shorts! TioJaime858 (9:15:06 PM): yeah, don't climb it TioJaime858 (9:15:07 PM): tard TioJaime858 (9:15:21 PM): i like them, but they dont' follow directions, do they? TioJaime858 (9:15:57 PM): yeah fuck you gnome TioJaime858 (9:16:37 PM): ooh, who's teh bikini chick in Sahara? TioJaime858 (9:16:47 PM): oh hi hot chick w/a cute dog TioJaime858 (9:17:30 PM): need more drinky TioJaime858 (9:17:34 PM): but they're probably coming back soon TioJaime858 (9:18:09 PM): that would've been a funny commercial if he'd actually stabbed the cat TioJaime858 (9:18:32 PM): maybe i had time to pour a drink TioJaime858 (9:18:35 PM): ooh, Locusts TioJaime858 (9:18:48 PM): i'll tape that and watch it right after i watch spring break: shark attack TioJaime858 (9:19:07 PM): oh you have a sense of direction, just not a sense of instructions TioJaime858 (9:19:17 PM): ooh, hi not-so-hot boobs TioJaime858 (9:19:23 PM): fuck you rob and amber TioJaime858 (9:19:38 PM): LOL they're trying thebalancing shit TioJaime858 (9:19:55 PM): good call TioJaime858 (9:20:00 PM): yeah fuck you goat TioJaime858 (9:20:07 PM): hi weird lookign cleavage TioJaime858 (9:20:29 PM): what are you whining about now you fag? TioJaime858 (9:20:45 PM): wow, real african ostriches, huh? TioJaime858 (9:20:48 PM): "we are really in africa" TioJaime858 (9:20:56 PM): i like those guys TioJaime858 (9:21:05 PM): somehow they've overcome their annoying ness TioJaime858 (9:21:19 PM): yay water tower TioJaime858 (9:21:28 PM): fags 3rd TioJaime858 (9:21:32 PM): gonna milk TioJaime858 (9:21:41 PM): old dudes 4th gonna milk TioJaime858 (9:21:52 PM): shooting blancks 5th, gonna balance TioJaime858 (9:22:10 PM): wow is it wrong to be turned on by amber milking? TioJaime858 (9:22:19 PM): 1 amber a-milking TioJaime858 (9:22:24 PM): whoa TioJaime858 (9:22:33 PM): how did uChenna do that? TioJaime858 (9:22:35 PM): WTF? TioJaime858 (9:22:44 PM): how'd the do that TioJaime858 (9:22:54 PM): oh they were born to do that? TioJaime858 (9:23:09 PM): wow that was overtly racist. dumb fags TioJaime858 (9:23:48 PM): ron/kelly first TioJaime858 (9:23:58 PM): drive 21 milkles on kwhai river TioJaime858 (9:23:59 PM): miles TioJaime858 (9:24:15 PM): dueling carolinans TioJaime858 (9:24:16 PM): yay TioJaime858 (9:24:20 PM): rob-tard 2nd TioJaime858 (9:24:40 PM): wow nice job TioJaime858 (9:24:47 PM): nice goddam teamwork TioJaime858 (9:25:00 PM): uChenna/joyce 3rd TioJaime858 (9:25:22 PM): OK when uChenna says his african roots are kicking in, that's just stupid TioJaime858 (9:25:28 PM): pain in the ass TioJaime858 (9:25:33 PM): old dudes 4thplace TioJaime858 (9:25:44 PM): "they're gonna get lost. they're so stupid" TioJaime858 (9:25:47 PM): god i hate those fags TioJaime858 (9:25:53 PM): yeah you fucking fags TioJaime858 (9:26:07 PM): fags 5th place TioJaime858 (9:26:12 PM): i have no idea BABE TioJaime858 (9:26:19 PM): LA-tards in last TioJaime858 (9:26:50 PM): yeah you're all assholes, so really, who gives a fuck TioJaime858 (9:26:59 PM): i'm pulling for uChenna/Joyce TioJaime858 (9:27:05 PM): and then the old dudes, and then the LA-tards TioJaime858 (9:27:23 PM): from most to least, i hate rob-tard, the fags, and then ron/kelly TioJaime858 (9:27:32 PM): hey, it's pimentel again! TioJaime858 (9:27:46 PM): wait, was that pientel?? i don't remember a door being there TioJaime858 (9:29:15 PM): pimentel TioJaime858 (9:29:20 PM): PSL, for you old blues TioJaime858 (9:30:01 PM): shit, stuck in an elevator for 4 days? TioJaime858 (9:31:13 PM): ha ha your fag tires are flat TioJaime858 (9:31:22 PM): they got a replacement truck pretty quick TioJaime858 (9:31:32 PM): nice job LA-tards TioJaime858 (9:32:12 PM): wow that former beauty pagent chick isn't hot at all TioJaime858 (9:32:20 PM): A roadblock is a task that only one person may perform TioJaime858 (9:32:35 PM): hey cool TioJaime858 (9:32:41 PM): yeah like any chick is gonna do this TioJaime858 (9:32:57 PM): this would be a cool time for an all chick team to crash and burn TioJaime858 (9:33:11 PM): yeah just go nancy TioJaime858 (9:33:17 PM): whoa zebras TioJaime858 (9:33:26 PM): wow that'd be kinda cool to visit africa TioJaime858 (9:33:32 PM): do it uChenna TioJaime858 (9:33:42 PM): oh shit TioJaime858 (9:33:48 PM): hey nice job TioJaime858 (9:34:05 PM): shit i wanna go to africa now! TioJaime858 (9:34:23 PM): go old decrepit dude TioJaime858 (9:34:30 PM): oh speaking of all chick teams TioJaime858 (9:34:37 PM): fags currently in 5th TioJaime858 (9:34:45 PM): you queers TioJaime858 (9:35:02 PM): you're a gay, yet not a good stick-shift driver TioJaime858 (9:35:04 PM): go dudes TioJaime858 (9:35:14 PM): OK dammit, here's where you La-tards can beat the LA-fags TioJaime858 (9:35:44 PM): fuck you rob-tard TioJaime858 (9:35:54 PM): c'mon ron! TioJaime858 (9:35:59 PM): that was soo much better than c'mon baby TioJaime858 (9:36:18 PM): good job, BABE, your'e doing great TioJaime858 (9:36:29 PM): cool shit TioJaime858 (9:36:34 PM): rob-tard finished a log TioJaime858 (9:37:23 PM): shackles, baby TioJaime858 (9:37:33 PM): i want some shackles and straps for my truck TioJaime858 (9:37:41 PM): perhaps i should get a ladder rack TioJaime858 (9:37:51 PM): LOL now he's teaching her how to drive stick TioJaime858 (9:37:59 PM): at least they didn't demonstrate on each other TioJaime858 (9:38:08 PM): heh cool TioJaime858 (9:38:18 PM): OK here's where the girls get tripped up TioJaime858 (9:38:40 PM): rob-tard drive to pit stop TioJaime858 (9:38:43 PM): on khwai river lodge TioJaime858 (9:38:54 PM): last team to check in may be eliminated TioJaime858 (9:38:58 PM): good job, BABY! TioJaime858 (9:39:07 PM): "I HAVE NOTHING TO SAY TO YOU NOW" TioJaime858 (9:39:09 PM): sorry TioJaime858 (9:39:23 PM): oh he said "shut the eff up" TioJaime858 (9:39:33 PM): "piece of trash redneck" TioJaime858 (9:39:40 PM): talk about the trash calling the trash trash TioJaime858 (9:39:41 PM): heh TioJaime858 (9:39:51 PM): that was pretty profound for drunken jimmy TioJaime858 (9:40:01 PM): oh please please please get rid of the fags TioJaime858 (9:40:24 PM): it's a boar you fag IT'S A GODDAM BOAR TioJaime858 (9:40:33 PM): LOL YOU GOT ANOTER FLAT YOU DUMB FAGS TioJaime858 (9:40:39 PM): oh it's manly TioJaime858 (9:40:44 PM): not sissy stuff again TioJaime858 (9:40:54 PM): and by farmer ladies, they meant the fags TioJaime858 (9:41:00 PM): cool TioJaime858 (9:41:05 PM): giraffes! TioJaime858 (9:41:15 PM): SHUT THE FUCK UP YOU DUMB CUNT TioJaime858 (9:41:21 PM): YOU ARE A CUNT TioJaime858 (9:41:33 PM): Houston, we have an elephant! TioJaime858 (9:41:52 PM): yay another replacement vehicle TioJaime858 (9:41:58 PM): maybe land rovers don't like fags TioJaime858 (9:42:06 PM): yeah yeah yeah TioJaime858 (9:42:19 PM): you're not gonna beat rob and tard-lover TioJaime858 (9:42:29 PM): tard and tard-lover team #1 fuck you TioJaime858 (9:42:36 PM): fuck you and your good news phil TioJaime858 (9:42:45 PM): trip for two to Monte Carlo TioJaime858 (9:42:49 PM): WTF TioJaime858 (9:42:57 PM): ron/kelly team #2 TioJaime858 (9:42:58 PM): fuck you rob TioJaime858 (9:43:28 PM): shooting blancks team #3 TioJaime858 (9:43:35 PM): huh? TioJaime858 (9:43:38 PM): WTF? TioJaime858 (9:43:46 PM): they didn't finish the roadblock? TioJaime858 (9:43:53 PM): oh that's bogus TioJaime858 (9:44:15 PM): oh don't worry, you're gonna win anyway TioJaime858 (9:45:00 PM): ooh sandra oh TioJaime858 (9:45:08 PM): ooh candy TioJaime858 (9:45:18 PM): i'd like to make out w/sandra oh TioJaime858 (9:45:32 PM): she can pop my korean cherry TioJaime858 (9:45:44 PM): oh please philiminate the fags TioJaime858 (9:47:18 PM): oh yay a recap TioJaime858 (9:47:21 PM): i aint' watching that shit TioJaime858 (9:47:31 PM): esp not w/openign night at hoters! TioJaime858 (9:47:34 PM): opening night at hooters TioJaime858 (9:47:53 PM): oh they should be able to keep 3rd TioJaime858 (9:48:02 PM): and then they'll bottleneck anyway af the next airport TioJaime858 (9:48:05 PM): and they're gonna win anway TioJaime858 (9:48:08 PM): OK, BABY TioJaime858 (9:48:10 PM): said the fag TioJaime858 (9:48:24 PM): oh please break your next truck TioJaime858 (9:48:27 PM): dammit! TioJaime858 (9:49:07 PM): meredith completed the task TioJaime858 (9:49:13 PM): and they just passed the clue TioJaime858 (9:49:24 PM): that's why you let your copilot fuck around w/the maps TioJaime858 (9:49:31 PM): shooting blancks team #3 TioJaime858 (9:49:32 PM): again TioJaime858 (9:49:33 PM): heh TioJaime858 (9:49:36 PM): looks like i shot my wad TioJaime858 (9:49:46 PM): heh TioJaime858 (9:50:00 PM): team old dudes team #4 TioJaime858 (9:50:05 PM): "you need to go back and get your clue" TioJaime858 (9:50:18 PM): this is probably the most excitement phil will see all race TioJaime858 (9:50:27 PM): except when those chicks swam in to the pit stop TioJaime858 (9:50:30 PM): that was nice TioJaime858 (9:50:42 PM): fags in 4th place TioJaime858 (9:50:46 PM): shit TioJaime858 (9:50:52 PM): shit TioJaime858 (9:50:59 PM): the brothers are toast TioJaime858 (9:51:10 PM): too bad.... we had this one episode TioJaime858 (9:51:17 PM): sweet sweet africa episode TioJaime858 (9:51:21 PM): dumb dumb fags TioJaime858 (9:51:36 PM): queer TioJaime858 (9:51:42 PM): omg omg we're here TioJaime858 (9:51:49 PM): fags team #4 TioJaime858 (9:51:55 PM): queers TioJaime858 (9:52:13 PM): yeah STFU and just get back to beating retard and retard-fiance TioJaime858 (9:52:21 PM): go baby TioJaime858 (9:52:23 PM): oh shit TioJaime858 (9:52:25 PM): yeah not even close TioJaime858 (9:52:31 PM): LOL TioJaime858 (9:52:36 PM): OK that's funny TioJaime858 (9:52:50 PM): they're gonna go in swimming trunks-style TioJaime858 (9:52:57 PM): else they get non-philiminated TioJaime858 (9:53:00 PM): that's fucking hilarious! TioJaime858 (9:53:07 PM): OK now i hoep that the old dudes get lost TioJaime858 (9:53:18 PM): yeah yeah yeah TioJaime858 (9:53:20 PM): old dudes TioJaime858 (9:53:30 PM): meredith/gretchen team #5 TioJaime858 (9:53:43 PM): wow i can't remember a team that old making it that far TioJaime858 (9:53:57 PM): brian/greg last team to arrive TioJaime858 (9:54:11 PM): i'm sorry to tell you you've both been philimininated from the race TioJaime858 (9:54:25 PM): poor bastards TioJaime858 (9:54:40 PM): man they could've gone all the way TioJaime858 (9:54:59 PM): they would've been a quality, entertaining team TioJaime858 (9:55:06 PM): stay chuned for scenes from our next episode TioJaime858 (9:55:47 PM): ooh hi old chick TioJaime858 (9:56:19 PM): ooh hi roommate TioJaime858 (9:56:23 PM): nice legs TioJaime858 (9:57:04 PM): tomorrow night.... TioJaime858 (9:57:05 PM): WTF? TioJaime858 (9:57:11 PM): catch up on the first half of the season? TioJaime858 (9:57:15 PM): dude, you can do that right here baby TioJaime858 (9:57:25 PM): next week: ron and kelly's bickering continues TioJaime858 (9:57:38 PM): really, that's not hardcore bickering TioJaime858 (9:57:51 PM): that was a nice, quick episode. TioJaime858 (9:58:00 PM): Ok kids, see you next week TioJaime858 (9:58:25 PM): eff tomorrow, i ain't 3amC'ing tomorrow's shitty recap episode TioJaime858 (9:58:28 PM): eff you CBS

enjoy,
Jihad Jimmy, Chief Defender of the Faith

(PG) Yankees-Red Sox? Eff that noise!

THE FOLLOWING POST HAS BEEN GIVEN A PG RATING DUE TO JIHAD JIMMY'S USE OF THE WORDS "RAD-ASSED", "SUCK", "SUCKED", AND POSSIBLY "PISSED".

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Oh yes, it's been a long winter. Since the red sox swept the cardinals to win their first championship since 1918, quite a bit has happened. A choadstain senator from Massachusetts (sp?) lost an election. A choadstain has started to bug the crap out of me on one of my favorite shows. I like to think that all of these little bits-o'-boston have contributed to my newfound disdain of who i shall from now on refer to as Bostards.

Exception: Dylan (U - James) from the H-Club hails from Massa-choo-sets. The running gag, if you're ever temporally fortunate to meet her, Lynn, is that she went to UMass Amherst. She went to American. Which is the alma mater of Mike O'Meara of don and mike fame. Sundays, $2 Tuesdays or Thursdays is optimal Dylan-sighting opportunity. Fridays and Saturdays every once in a while.

Anycrap... bostards. They piss me off now. There was a couple a few rows in front of Lincoln and me at the giants-rangers exhibition game on Sunday (we sat 13 rows from the giants' bullpen, btw, effing rad-assed seats). The dude red sox "fan" got up to get beer. When he came back, Lincoln yelled to him, "Hey that's a nice, shiny, brand new jacket!" It's funny because it's true. Ain't no way that jacket was purchased before this year.

And for you wankees fans cackling in the background? Eff you and your families too. Really the only solace you should be allowed to seek here in the SHoP is that I hate your dumbtard counterparts just as much as I hate your dumbtard selves. Congratu-effing-lations. You all suck.

Now in comparison to this Overrated Wankees-Red S0x0r rivalry, one of the best and frequently overlooked rivalries kicks off Opening Day today in just over three hours-- Giants-Dodgers from Pac Bell Park! Giants Ace Jason Schmidt takes the mound against new Dodgers acquisition Derek Lowe. Bonds and Gagne are both out on the DL, but oh man, what I'd give to go to this game today!

following excerpts from The best rivalry in the West

The bitterness continues. Last year, there were near-brawls and numerous brush-back pitches. On the next-to-last day of the season, the Giants were in Los Angeles, making a run at the division and a Wild Card spot, when Steve Finley smoked a grand slam off Wayne Franklin in the bottom of the ninth to win the title for the Dodgers. The Giants were eliminated from the Wild Card race when Houston won the next day. Franklin, who was released last week, was a Giant for a season. Finley, who signed as a free agent with the Angels this past winter, was a Dodger for little more than three months. Both now have earned their page in the rivalry's history that dates back to before the turn of the 20th Century. Even the Red Sox didn't sell Babe Ruth to the Yankees until 1920. Even Bucky Dent didn't hit his playoff homer to sink the Red Sox in a one-game playoff for the American League East title until 1978. Aaron Boone? Pedro Martinez? It all means little to the fans of these two NL teams.

Yeah I remember that day last year. We were in Corvallis, OR watching Cal kick the ever-loving snot out of the OSU Beavers. Giants were up the whole game. Leading going into the ninth. Cal won, I saw our old band director-- a dodgers fan despite having grown up in the East Bay Area-- gave him a bit of shit about the dodgers dropping another one to the Giants. I only found out later about the walk-off grand slam. That sucked.

It was a classic ninth-inning confrontation last April between the hard-throwing right-hander and the lefty-swinging home run hitter, who is now third on the all-time list behind Hank Aaron and Babe Ruth. The Dodgers, under guidance of manager Jim Tracy, have had a propensity of walking Bonds in almost every situation. Bonds, who strolled a record 232 times last season, was walked a Major League-high 38 times by the Dodgers. Even Gagne often had been told to simply give Bonds a free pass. But not in this particular game. Not last April 16. The Dodgers were leading, 3-0, with a runner on first and one out when Bonds strode to the plate. He motioned in no uncertain terms for Gagne to throw his 100-mile-per-hour heater over the plate. "Give it your best shot," Bonds said, using words that were a tad more colorful. Gagne looked into the dugout. Since Bonds could not tie the game, Tracy gave his pitcher the green light. Gagne stared at Bonds through his trademark goggles, his cap tucked low on his brow. The first pitch buzzed toward the plate at supersonic speed. Bonds hit it into McCovey Cove well behind the right-fence. A titanic shot, but just foul. The sellout crowd of 42,662 gasped and stirred. Certainly, Bonds couldn't do it again. Bonds motioned once more to Gagne. "Bring it again," he said. Gagne did. This time Bonds hit the ball out to center.

And on that note, I'd like to dust off a SHoP favorite...

(G) Opening Day Edition of GFY Tues-dee: Los Angeles Dodgers closer Eric Gagne

This kinda goes w/o saying. But just for the record, 1) he's canadian, 2) he's a dodger, 3) he swears in French so the umpires can't understand him, and 4) his facial hair looks stupider than mine.

And during his string of consecutive saves? He did lose during that stretch. At least once. To the G-men. At Pac Bell. I believe he was brought in for a non-save opportunity, probably tied in the bottom of the ninth. He gave up a hit to Benito Santiago, I think, after which he proceeded to go into conniptions and throw a hissy-fit in the visiting dugout where he proceeded to break a dugout phone.

Yeah, what a great guy. Not. Va te faire foutre, gagne-tard.

Go Giants!
Jihad Jimmy, Chief Defender of the Faith

(R) 3am Criticism of The Amazing Race 7, Episode 5!

THE FOLLOWING POST HAS BEEN GIVEN AN R RATING DUE TO VULGARITY. PLEASE READ AT YOUR OWN RISK.

---

Very long and arduous episode. And I kept thinking about Ellen Pompeo throughout. Good episode. Really, what goes around comes around. Ha ha.

enjoy,
Jihad Jimmy, Chief Defender of the Faith

ps- oh yeah right, al gore's TV network won't have any political bias. And I have a bridge in benicia to sell you...

3am Criticism of The Amazing Race yay!

You are now in chat room “TARep5.” TioJaime858 has entered the chat room. TioJaime858 (9:04:39 PM): hello dere! TioJaime858 (9:07:15 PM): OK i just checked... and we are on the fifth episode TioJaime858 (9:07:51 PM): oh kids we're due up for a 2 hour 3am criticism! TioJaime858 (9:07:57 PM): yes, 6 days late TioJaime858 (9:07:58 PM): sorry TioJaime858 (9:08:02 PM): you'll like it TioJaime858 (9:09:05 PM): and if there's time and i've had enough GDFs, i'll do the pilot of Grey's Anatomy TioJaime858 (9:10:07 PM): see (PG-13) Dual 3am Criticism of Grey's Anatomy! TioJaime858 (9:10:23 PM): aren't i nce? giving you those urls at the drop of a hat? TioJaime858 (9:10:33 PM): well check the timestamp, that took a while TioJaime858 (9:10:52 PM): OK i think i'm good to go... lemme cue up the tape TioJaime858 (9:11:09 PM): ooh, joan of arcadia TioJaime858 (9:11:25 PM): no judging amy TioJaime858 (9:11:31 PM): 2 hour TAR TioJaime858 (9:11:45 PM): in which old dude and annoying chick get eliminated TioJaime858 (9:11:52 PM): you want some more of a spoiler? TioJaime858 (9:12:18 PM): somebody found our page by searching for uchenna joyce internet betting leak TioJaime858 (9:12:21 PM): or something like that TioJaime858 (9:12:36 PM): and heh, previous episode, old dudes got faced by ray/deana TioJaime858 (9:12:41 PM): let's see what happens in this episode TioJaime858 (9:12:49 PM): A! MAZE! ING! TioJaime858 (9:12:50 PM): AMAZING! TioJaime858 (9:12:54 PM): A MAZING RACE! TioJaime858 (9:13:01 PM): A MAZING RACE! TioJaime858 (9:13:06 PM): A MAZING RACE! TioJaime858 (9:13:10 PM): A! MAZE! ING! TioJaime858 (9:13:12 PM): AMAZING TioJaime858 (9:13:17 PM): A! MAZE! ING! TioJaime858 (9:13:20 PM): AMAZING! TioJaime858 (9:15:05 PM): i should pour myselfa drink TioJaime858 (9:15:07 PM): i'm fastforwarding TioJaime858 (9:15:14 PM): oops TioJaime858 (9:15:17 PM): that was fast TioJaime858 (9:15:24 PM): numb3rs! TioJaime858 (9:15:31 PM): This is Buenos Aires TioJaime858 (9:15:36 PM): just outside the city TioJaime858 (9:15:38 PM): la martina TioJaime858 (9:15:42 PM): fourth pit stop TioJaime858 (9:15:45 PM): FUCK YOU ROB AND AMBER TioJaime858 (9:16:03 PM): ROBTARD first to depart 3am TioJaime858 (9:16:09 PM): johannesburg, south africa TioJaime858 (9:16:16 PM): $217 TioJaime858 (9:16:26 PM): shut the fuck up TioJaime858 (9:16:45 PM): dumb and dumbass 2nd to depart TioJaime858 (9:17:00 PM): if my brother tgurned out that retarded, i'd ask my parents to shoot us both TioJaime858 (9:17:10 PM): ooh hi TioJaime858 (9:17:18 PM): cute argentinian chick TioJaime858 (9:17:57 PM): uchenna/joyce TioJaime858 (9:18:15 PM): oh they're returning to their native south africa TioJaime858 (9:18:19 PM): ron/kelly TioJaime858 (9:18:22 PM): fourth to depart TioJaime858 (9:18:50 PM): team gaylordio fifth to depart TioJaime858 (9:19:46 PM): ray/deana 6th to depart TioJaime858 (9:19:51 PM): SHUT THE FUCK UP TioJaime858 (9:19:58 PM): I'M SO GLAD YOU'RE GETTING BOOTED TONIGHT TioJaime858 (9:20:02 PM): old dudes! TioJaime858 (9:20:10 PM): last to depart TioJaime858 (9:20:34 PM): dude, why is he so scared of the old people? TioJaime858 (9:20:42 PM): if you play a solid game, eventually the old teams just go away naturally TioJaime858 (9:21:09 PM): nice, old people got on the flight TioJaime858 (9:21:18 PM): ha ha, how's your 8 hour lead now? TioJaime858 (9:21:20 PM): dumbfuck TioJaime858 (9:21:53 PM): first class? i thought they were supposed to fly coach at all times TioJaime858 (9:22:28 PM): fast forward TioJaime858 (9:22:32 PM): first of only 2 TioJaime858 (9:22:51 PM): whoa TioJaime858 (9:23:01 PM): cross a bridge at a nuclear power plant TioJaime858 (9:23:10 PM): yay! go you funky queer boys! TioJaime858 (9:23:21 PM): A Detour is a choice betwen two tasks, each with its own pros and cons TioJaime858 (9:23:24 PM): tunnels or tribes TioJaime858 (9:23:34 PM): rappel down tunnels TioJaime858 (9:23:50 PM): or go goof off w/some african tribes TioJaime858 (9:24:28 PM): OK when Kendra said something racist like that people got pissed TioJaime858 (9:24:42 PM): but it's OK when the fags say it, isn' t it, blue america? TioJaime858 (9:24:55 PM): OK rob-tard is going for the fast forward TioJaime858 (9:25:02 PM): that's pretty poor strategery TioJaime858 (9:25:09 PM): considering they didn't know if they were off first TioJaime858 (9:25:16 PM): heh TioJaime858 (9:25:25 PM): oh don't worry, you're going to win anyway TioJaime858 (9:25:42 PM): commercial TioJaime858 (9:25:46 PM): i'm pouring a drink TioJaime858 (9:30:17 PM): and they're back and i'm late TioJaime858 (9:30:20 PM): except this episode kinda sucks TioJaime858 (9:30:43 PM): heh shooting blancks went to get a map TioJaime858 (9:30:59 PM): yeah no shit other teams may have gone for it TioJaime858 (9:31:04 PM): oh you'll be fine TioJaime858 (9:31:10 PM): what w/your blaza of fire TioJaime858 (9:31:14 PM): nobody cares TioJaime858 (9:31:26 PM): ha ha TioJaime858 (9:31:40 PM): whoa, so they're gonna get the fast forward and then lose the next round? TioJaime858 (9:31:42 PM): that's gotta suck TioJaime858 (9:31:47 PM): you got it BABY TioJaime858 (9:31:54 PM): you can do it BABE TioJaime858 (9:32:03 PM): stop it i wanna eat this damn cupcake already TioJaime858 (9:32:15 PM): whoa TioJaime858 (9:32:24 PM): no railing on the bridge? TioJaime858 (9:33:16 PM): yay TioJaime858 (9:33:21 PM): zulus like fags TioJaime858 (9:34:00 PM): and they're not water towers TioJaime858 (9:34:08 PM): good job, BABE TioJaime858 (9:34:35 PM): all these babe instances have been from the old dude/ deana TioJaime858 (9:34:38 PM): good job BABY TioJaime858 (9:34:42 PM): WHOA TioJaime858 (9:34:48 PM): whoa TioJaime858 (9:34:52 PM): i don't know that i could do that TioJaime858 (9:35:31 PM): we get it TioJaime858 (9:35:38 PM): you're a shallow beauty pageant chick TioJaime858 (9:35:43 PM): and the LA-tards are tards TioJaime858 (9:35:56 PM): this season kinda sucks TioJaime858 (9:36:38 PM): perhaps i should start to drink TioJaime858 (9:36:42 PM): you got it BABY TioJaime858 (9:36:57 PM): Ok she's halfway across TioJaime858 (9:37:01 PM): halfway there BABY TioJaime858 (9:37:15 PM): i'm so fucking glad they're getting booted TioJaime858 (9:37:27 PM): wow she's cute except for the boston hat TioJaime858 (9:37:45 PM): fuck i hate red sox nation now TioJaime858 (9:37:52 PM): nice job, dumbasses TioJaime858 (9:38:03 PM): normally i don't care about the AL east TioJaime858 (9:38:24 PM): but now i'm gonna have to jump on the Balteemore bandwagon by default TioJaime858 (9:40:48 PM): you're almost done BABY TioJaime858 (9:41:05 PM): OK amber was cute TioJaime858 (9:41:15 PM): ha ha TioJaime858 (9:41:31 PM): cool TioJaime858 (9:41:39 PM): proceed to pit stop Soweto Overlook TioJaime858 (9:41:44 PM): blah blah blah nelson mandela TioJaime858 (9:42:24 PM): ha ha you guessed wrong TioJaime858 (9:42:40 PM): heh the african was laughing at them TioJaime858 (9:42:59 PM): yeah how about you shut the fuck up TioJaime858 (9:43:03 PM): great TioJaime858 (9:43:09 PM): they mentioned survivor TioJaime858 (9:43:30 PM): well, yes, i would like to have relations w/amber TioJaime858 (9:43:38 PM): but i think i'm missing the point of the show TioJaime858 (9:43:57 PM): they're still toolling around in the caves TioJaime858 (9:44:10 PM): whoa cool TioJaime858 (9:44:21 PM): that's actually pretty cool TioJaime858 (9:45:04 PM): LA-tards in 2n place TioJaime858 (9:45:08 PM): yay go to soweto TioJaime858 (9:45:14 PM): something about apartheid TioJaime858 (9:45:48 PM): you look like braveheart, dude TioJaime858 (9:45:59 PM): yay for gay! TioJaime858 (9:46:01 PM): yays for gays! TioJaime858 (9:46:20 PM): OK drinky drinky time TioJaime858 (9:46:27 PM): heh the old dudes are doing the cave thing TioJaime858 (9:47:26 PM): Old dude and Deana, team #1 TioJaime858 (9:47:38 PM): hey cool TioJaime858 (9:47:46 PM): 2005 Toyota Rav4's TioJaime858 (9:48:01 PM): hey nice job TioJaime858 (9:48:55 PM): nice that they won something before they're gonna totally crash and burn TioJaime858 (9:49:25 PM): roadblock is a task that only one person may perform TioJaime858 (9:49:35 PM): they gotta buy shit for an orphanage TioJaime858 (9:49:52 PM): yay a backpack for two american dollars TioJaime858 (9:49:58 PM): you can do it! TioJaime858 (9:50:00 PM): goold people TioJaime858 (9:50:13 PM): you can do it! TioJaime858 (9:50:22 PM): go for it, shooting blancks TioJaime858 (9:50:28 PM): yeah why didn't you do the tribal thing? NancyPantsMcSixhertz has entered the chat room. TioJaime858 (9:51:09 PM): hello dere! TioJaime858 (9:51:13 PM): this episode kinda sucks TioJaime858 (9:51:22 PM): and unfortunately it's a 2 hour episode NancyPantsMcSixhertz (9:51:30 PM): Why hehro. NancyPantsMcSixhertz (9:51:45 PM): Make sure you replace the username. :) TioJaime858 (9:51:57 PM): yeah no shit NancyPantsMcSixhertz (9:52:04 PM): I commented about your latest post. TioJaime858 (9:52:05 PM): how fucking stupid do you think i am? NancyPantsMcSixhertz (9:52:19 PM): haha TioJaime858 (9:52:22 PM): i've changed your user name like 20, 30 times so far TioJaime858 (9:52:47 PM): and for fuck's sake, don't you have another SN to use? TioJaime858 (9:53:07 PM): you're lucky this episode sucks NancyPantsMcSixhertz (9:53:10 PM): Still trying to remember what my SixHertz password was. TioJaime858 (9:53:16 PM): LOL the old chick fell down the cave NancyPantsMcSixhertz (9:53:33 PM): well, not like I'm at home right now. NancyPantsMcSixhertz (9:53:35 PM): :P TioJaime858 (9:53:55 PM): idon't follow NancyPantsMcSixhertz (9:53:56 PM): All we need is for some skulls to crack open in these episodes, and I'm there. NancyPantsMcSixhertz (9:54:02 PM): I'm on my laptop TioJaime858 (9:54:18 PM): well yes there's gonna be some injury in this episode NancyPantsMcSixhertz (9:54:19 PM): at someone else's place. NancyPantsMcSixhertz (9:54:34 PM): dude, they should have machete juggling TioJaime858 (9:54:35 PM): and not that you're gonna watch anyway NancyPantsMcSixhertz (9:54:41 PM): true, dat. NancyPantsMcSixhertz (9:54:57 PM): if they had machete juggling for any reality show where blood would be spilled, I'm there. NancyPantsMcSixhertz (9:55:11 PM): or russian roulette with semi-automatic handguns? TioJaime858 (9:55:11 PM): you should watch because it's more interesting than niggerball NancyPantsMcSixhertz (9:55:13 PM): I'm there. NancyPantsMcSixhertz (9:55:33 PM): yum yum TioJaime858 (9:55:51 PM): i fucking hate these stupid Priceless commercials TioJaime858 (9:56:47 PM): oh shit, she's bleeding from the head TioJaime858 (9:56:59 PM): oh that's not so bad NancyPantsMcSixhertz (9:57:41 PM): box 'o cleenex: $2bottle 'o lotion: $3accidentally lopping off your penis after paying for the items: priceless.There are some things in life you can't buy. For everything else, get a bloody clue. TioJaime858 (9:58:06 PM): OK like i was saying... Priceless parodies stoopped being funny after the columbine one TioJaime858 (9:58:14 PM): they peaked fast and tanked hard NancyPantsMcSixhertz (9:58:41 PM): yeah...well, it was a successful ad tool. It inspired parody. NancyPantsMcSixhertz (9:58:51 PM): I'm not familiar with the columbine one. TioJaime858 (9:58:59 PM): it was successful the first couple of times NancyPantsMcSixhertz (9:59:00 PM): got a link to it? NancyPantsMcSixhertz (9:59:12 PM): ok, dude. I get it. it's old. TioJaime858 (9:59:19 PM): imagine if the energizer bunny had ran for twice as long as it had NancyPantsMcSixhertz (9:59:22 PM): not like I'm one to beat a dead horse. TioJaime858 (9:59:36 PM): the columbine parody was out back when we were still in college... TioJaime858 (9:59:39 PM): i'd have to look for it NancyPantsMcSixhertz (9:59:49 PM): nevermind. TioJaime858 (10:00:01 PM): no s'OK this episode kinda sucks butt TioJaime858 (10:00:06 PM): they're in south africa right now TioJaime858 (10:00:17 PM): hold on TioJaime858 (10:00:20 PM): lemme find it TioJaime858 (10:00:32 PM): yay, they're going to nelson mandela's old neighborhood TioJaime858 (10:00:43 PM): do you remember reading somewhere that nelson mandela was a dick? NancyPantsMcSixhertz (10:01:00 PM): yeah. he had mistresses, or something. TioJaime858 (10:01:13 PM): there was more shit... TioJaime858 (10:01:16 PM): i forget what thoughl.... TioJaime858 (10:01:48 PM): http://www.netfunny.com/rhf/jokes/99/Apr/columbine.html NancyPantsMcSixhertz (10:02:03 PM): well, libertards always try to elevate these "crusaders" even though they're complete assholes....*cough*BillClinton*cough* TioJaime858 (10:02:05 PM): ron/kelly team #2 TioJaime858 (10:02:24 PM): i hear ya TioJaime858 (10:02:31 PM): LA-pigfuckers team #3 NancyPantsMcSixhertz (10:02:43 PM): haha TioJaime858 (10:02:59 PM): oh yay more survivor fans TioJaime858 (10:03:05 PM): SHUT THE FUCK UP TioJaime858 (10:03:18 PM): recently, i've come to the realization that boston red sox fans suck TioJaime858 (10:03:23 PM): they're no better than yankees fans NancyPantsMcSixhertz (10:03:50 PM): yeah, well, recent success may have gotten to their heads. NancyPantsMcSixhertz (10:04:01 PM): it's important to be good winners as well as good losers. TioJaime858 (10:04:03 PM): yeah TioJaime858 (10:04:06 PM): pigfuckers all of em TioJaime858 (10:04:12 PM): i totally agree TioJaime858 (10:04:33 PM): oregon state, a few years back, when they finally pulled a winning season together and made a BCS at large berth? TioJaime858 (10:04:45 PM): they routed Notre Dame but were dicks about it... TioJaime858 (10:05:17 PM): heh NancyPantsMcSixhertz (10:05:38 PM): ok, tell me how yesterday at the zoo went. TioJaime858 (10:05:39 PM): here's a cease-and-desist letter from mastercard... http://www.netfunny.com/rhf/price.html TioJaime858 (10:05:49 PM): they got pissed at the people parodying their stupid ads TioJaime858 (10:06:00 PM): yay, africans! TioJaime858 (10:06:29 PM): the infertile african couple just visited an african orphanage TioJaime858 (10:07:04 PM): poor selection @ zoo yesterday TioJaime858 (10:07:11 PM): rob-tard team #5 NancyPantsMcSixhertz (10:07:23 PM): gotcha TioJaime858 (10:07:29 PM): fag-boys team #4? TioJaime858 (10:07:43 PM): lynn and i went to the Crowbar... a dive bar across the street TioJaime858 (10:07:45 PM): cheap drinks TioJaime858 (10:07:57 PM): uChenna/Joyce TioJaime858 (10:08:02 PM): team #6 TioJaime858 (10:08:19 PM): yay, you're w/your people NancyPantsMcSixhertz (10:08:20 PM): haha TioJaime858 (10:08:28 PM): and now they're crying TioJaime858 (10:08:34 PM): blah blah blha TioJaime858 (10:08:43 PM): yay for africans visiting africa TioJaime858 (10:08:49 PM): old dudes last team to arrive TioJaime858 (10:08:53 PM): but they're not getting eliminated TioJaime858 (10:08:57 PM): la la la TioJaime858 (10:09:02 PM): good news is! TioJaime858 (10:09:08 PM): non elimination leg! TioJaime858 (10:09:16 PM): oh there's a penalty alright TioJaime858 (10:09:21 PM): phil will bukakke you TioJaime858 (10:09:25 PM): i mean, take all your money TioJaime858 (10:10:01 PM): oh shit, new twist... you lose your possessions too TioJaime858 (10:10:14 PM): whoa TioJaime858 (10:10:16 PM): that sucks TioJaime858 (10:10:30 PM): oh yay, you're soulmates TioJaime858 (10:10:53 PM): stay chuned for part 2 of a special amazing race episode TioJaime858 (10:11:36 PM): need more drinky TioJaime858 (10:12:09 PM): oh wait, no it's time for some apartheid social commentary TioJaime858 (10:12:46 PM): so apartheid is bad, but when white people in america have all the power as the majority, it's a bad thing? TioJaime858 (10:12:52 PM): old dude/deana first to depart TioJaime858 (10:13:01 PM): drive approx 30 miles to rhino and lion nature reserve TioJaime858 (10:13:05 PM): they get to feed lions TioJaime858 (10:13:38 PM): ha ha your GF can't drive stick TioJaime858 (10:13:42 PM): ron/kelly 2nd to depart TioJaime858 (10:13:52 PM): yes, "step it up a notch" will you TioJaime858 (10:14:21 PM): yes we get it you were a soldier TioJaime858 (10:14:27 PM): i bless the rains down in Africa TioJaime858 (10:14:39 PM): yay fuck you you stupid LA-fuckholes TioJaime858 (10:15:02 PM): faglords 4th to depart TioJaime858 (10:15:22 PM): rob-tard 5th to depart TioJaime858 (10:15:27 PM): no shit they're not too fond of you TioJaime858 (10:15:41 PM): and no shit it ain't getting better TioJaime858 (10:15:47 PM): heh, meredith and what's-his-fce TioJaime858 (10:15:57 PM): fagboys 9am TioJaime858 (10:16:04 PM): uChenna and joyce 6th to depart TioJaime858 (10:16:24 PM): yeah you spent all of 3 minutes in teh orphanage TioJaime858 (10:16:33 PM): old dudes last to depart, no money TioJaime858 (10:16:42 PM): cool TioJaime858 (10:17:17 PM): "those gay guys in front of us, driving me nuts" TioJaime858 (10:17:21 PM): oh yes, they'll love your nuts TioJaime858 (10:17:40 PM): uChenna last TioJaime858 (10:17:41 PM): heh TioJaime858 (10:17:57 PM): that's cool TioJaime858 (10:18:17 PM): uChenna gave them clothes TioJaime858 (10:18:20 PM): and joyce made a funny TioJaime858 (10:18:23 PM): they gave her some money TioJaime858 (10:18:34 PM): FUCK YOU THEY'RE THE BIGGEST CON ARTISTS TioJaime858 (10:18:36 PM): YOU COCK TioJaime858 (10:18:51 PM): AND HEH, YOU'RE FUNNY YOU STUPID GONNA-GET-ELIMINATED PRICK TioJaime858 (10:19:41 PM): damn they's big lions TioJaime858 (10:19:57 PM): fly to gabarone botswanna TioJaime858 (10:20:04 PM): go to a giant aardvark TioJaime858 (10:20:16 PM): ron/kelly 1st place TioJaime858 (10:21:16 PM): yay for hungry lions! TioJaime858 (10:22:17 PM): that was subtle TioJaime858 (10:22:24 PM): but blatantly anoying TioJaime858 (10:23:37 PM): heh follow the fags and you get lost... see? TioJaime858 (10:23:43 PM): nice job uChenna TioJaime858 (10:23:50 PM): "we're not such idiots!" TioJaime858 (10:23:52 PM): ooh nice TioJaime858 (10:24:00 PM): they got on the 12 botswana flight TioJaime858 (10:24:08 PM): nice job TioJaime858 (10:24:15 PM): ha ha rob-tard is in the back of the pack TioJaime858 (10:25:07 PM): "this is like... compton" TioJaime858 (10:25:09 PM): LOL TioJaime858 (10:25:18 PM): they're no danny/oswald TioJaime858 (10:26:27 PM): Ok again, it's funny when the fags say it, but not when the white chick says it TioJaime858 (10:27:02 PM): c'mon BABE c'mon! TioJaime858 (10:27:17 PM): huh? TioJaime858 (10:27:22 PM): something about hunting in botswana TioJaime858 (10:27:39 PM): ha ha bottlenecking at the train TioJaime858 (10:28:10 PM): OK that was annoying TioJaime858 (10:28:26 PM): OK and now rob is mad TioJaime858 (10:28:35 PM): choo-choo! TioJaime858 (10:28:51 PM): there was plenty of room, bro TioJaime858 (10:28:52 PM): bro! TioJaime858 (10:29:01 PM): oh you're *done* being nice? TioJaime858 (10:29:05 PM): you gona play like that? TioJaime858 (10:29:11 PM): wow, that was funny TioJaime858 (10:29:12 PM): not TioJaime858 (10:29:20 PM): wow rob is an asshole TioJaime858 (10:29:21 PM): yes TioJaime858 (10:29:45 PM): i guess the old dudes had enough money TioJaime858 (10:29:53 PM): A Roadblock is a task only one person can perform TioJaime858 (10:29:59 PM): hey cool bush men! TioJaime858 (10:30:48 PM): let's go yoda TioJaime858 (10:30:54 PM): fag TioJaime858 (10:31:26 PM): wow they could be here a while TioJaime858 (10:31:29 PM): LA-tards got it TioJaime858 (10:31:35 PM): nice job yoda TioJaime858 (10:31:44 PM): teams must now drive over 35 miles to remote cattle post xau xarra TioJaime858 (10:31:51 PM): i need another drink TioJaime858 (10:31:56 PM): heh TioJaime858 (10:32:04 PM): POW said "gracias" to the bushman TioJaime858 (10:32:07 PM): fagboys got it TioJaime858 (10:32:22 PM): great TioJaime858 (10:32:25 PM): you were in the military TioJaime858 (10:32:34 PM): driving humvees in teh desert TioJaime858 (10:32:36 PM): la lala TioJaime858 (10:32:44 PM): ray and deana TioJaime858 (10:32:49 PM): ooh and joyce beat rob-tard! TioJaime858 (10:32:53 PM): LOL TioJaime858 (10:32:56 PM): they lost their bags TioJaime858 (10:33:00 PM): NP since they're gonna win anyway TioJaime858 (10:33:10 PM): LOL TioJaime858 (10:33:14 PM): meredith beat rob-0tard TioJaime858 (10:33:21 PM): that's what you get you pussy TioJaime858 (10:33:35 PM): rob-tard in last place!!! TioJaime858 (10:33:39 PM): oh most glorious glorious day TioJaime858 (10:33:56 PM): "We made the hurdle so now we have to think about the hurdle after that" TioJaime858 (10:34:00 PM): very profound TioJaime858 (10:34:07 PM): giggling gay TioJaime858 (10:34:16 PM): and i think here's where the LA-tards get in an acident TioJaime858 (10:34:19 PM): hi amber boobs TioJaime858 (10:34:32 PM): the old man's about to cry TioJaime858 (10:34:38 PM): don't flatter yourself ass-fucker TioJaime858 (10:34:52 PM): oh BABY c'mon TioJaime858 (10:34:56 PM): "critical mistakes!" TioJaime858 (10:35:03 PM): LOL TioJaime858 (10:35:09 PM): less about slowing down, more about markers TioJaime858 (10:35:12 PM): good solid team TioJaime858 (10:35:21 PM): i'm surprised they lasted this long TioJaime858 (10:35:30 PM): LOL TioJaime858 (10:35:31 PM): dumbfucks TioJaime858 (10:35:37 PM): ooh crash and burn TioJaime858 (10:35:47 PM): oh man that's hilarious! TioJaime858 (10:35:49 PM): drink time! TioJaime858 (10:38:57 PM): ooh moyer won the season opener today TioJaime858 (10:39:10 PM): and the LA-fuckers killed their camera dude TioJaime858 (10:39:28 PM): nice job dumbfucks TioJaime858 (10:39:40 PM): and rob drove on TioJaime858 (10:39:47 PM): wow you're a fucker TioJaime858 (10:39:57 PM): ron/kelly currently in first TioJaime858 (10:40:07 PM): A Detour is a choice between two tasks, each with their own pros and cons TioJaime858 (10:40:10 PM): food or water NancyPantsMcSixhertz has left the chat room. TioJaime858 (10:41:01 PM): doctor's on the way TioJaime858 (10:41:22 PM): "don't complain: TioJaime858 (10:41:50 PM): heh, and they say LA drives better TioJaime858 (10:42:15 PM): rob amber in 2nd TioJaime858 (10:42:36 PM): i'm surprised the gays don't wanna do the felching thing TioJaime858 (10:42:55 PM): well rob is doing the felching thing TioJaime858 (10:43:07 PM): he's good at felching TioJaime858 (10:43:11 PM): BABY how are you so fast at it? TioJaime858 (10:43:24 PM): ron/kelly currently in first TioJaime858 (10:43:41 PM): spend night in salt pans TioJaime858 (10:43:46 PM): yay for botswana TioJaime858 (10:44:19 PM): he's annoyed by fags perhaps TioJaime858 (10:44:34 PM): ray doing food TioJaime858 (10:44:39 PM): OK they're all doing food TioJaime858 (10:45:13 PM): OK that was good. they said a prayer TioJaime858 (10:45:23 PM): see? another bigoted comment by the gays TioJaime858 (10:45:32 PM): and yes, i like making buttloads of bigoted comments TioJaime858 (10:45:41 PM): but i don't pretend to be holier-than-thou becuase i'm a fag TioJaime858 (10:45:44 PM): i'm not, btw TioJaime858 (10:45:58 PM): oh please please please beat rob-tard TioJaime858 (10:46:08 PM): cool TioJaime858 (10:46:14 PM): LOL TioJaime858 (10:46:17 PM): you dropped something TioJaime858 (10:46:25 PM): ron/kelly team #1 TioJaime858 (10:46:28 PM): yeah BABY TioJaime858 (10:46:30 PM): finally TioJaime858 (10:46:50 PM): rob-tard and that hottie amber team #2 TioJaime858 (10:47:29 PM): heh and phil called them on not stopping TioJaime858 (10:47:36 PM): and the butt-pirates called somebody else pirates TioJaime858 (10:48:03 PM): nice job uChenna and jOyce TioJaime858 (10:48:20 PM): fags 4th place TioJaime858 (10:48:37 PM): ugly and uglier TioJaime858 (10:48:38 PM): damn TioJaime858 (10:48:52 PM): commercial stupid gnome again TioJaime858 (10:49:17 PM): wow that GDF was strong TioJaime858 (10:49:27 PM): ray's intense dude TioJaime858 (10:49:36 PM): ha ha i hope you lose big TioJaime858 (10:49:43 PM): c'mon BABY c'mon TioJaime858 (10:49:50 PM): although that was a brother to brother BABY TioJaime858 (10:49:54 PM): that's kinda distrubing TioJaime858 (10:50:04 PM): uChenna/joyce team #3 TioJaime858 (10:50:09 PM): shooting blancks TioJaime858 (10:50:22 PM): faglords team #4 TioJaime858 (10:50:43 PM): cut to: asshole rob TioJaime858 (10:50:53 PM): "you bitch way too much" TioJaime858 (10:51:14 PM): LOL the old people are beating you you asshole TioJaime858 (10:51:49 PM): OK i kinda like the LA-tards now TioJaime858 (10:51:56 PM): they could beat rob-tard TioJaime858 (10:52:05 PM): meredith and gretchen! team #5 TioJaime858 (10:52:17 PM): nice job old dudes! TioJaime858 (10:52:27 PM): ha ha you're gonna lose TioJaime858 (10:52:32 PM): oh shit TioJaime858 (10:52:37 PM): ray deana 6th TioJaime858 (10:52:43 PM): LA-fuckers in last TioJaime858 (10:52:46 PM): go dammit TioJaime858 (10:52:58 PM): do it you fuckers TioJaime858 (10:53:14 PM): yeah, noe very second counts TioJaime858 (10:53:21 PM): especially when you're getting booted TioJaime858 (10:53:37 PM): do it yeah that's right bitfches TioJaime858 (10:53:42 PM): LOL TioJaime858 (10:53:57 PM): nice job guys TioJaime858 (10:54:03 PM): brian/greg team #6 TioJaime858 (10:54:18 PM): way to go guys TioJaime858 (10:54:31 PM): LOL TioJaime858 (10:54:33 PM): ray lost TioJaime858 (10:54:36 PM): EAT IT YOU FUCKER TioJaime858 (10:54:44 PM): RAY/DEANA LAST TEAM TO ARRIVE TioJaime858 (10:54:55 PM): LOL TioJaime858 (10:54:59 PM): and now he wants to dump her TioJaime858 (10:55:15 PM): you suck TioJaime858 (10:55:16 PM): go home TioJaime858 (10:55:26 PM): executive producer: jerry bruckheimer TioJaime858 (10:55:37 PM): stay chuned for scenes from our next episode TioJaime858 (10:57:34 PM): edgar threw out the first pitch in seattle today TioJaime858 (10:57:35 PM): cool TioJaime858 (10:57:51 PM): ooh hi melina kanakaredes TioJaime858 (10:57:57 PM): on the enxt episode of TAR TioJaime858 (10:58:12 PM): LOL TioJaime858 (10:58:16 PM): "he's a trash redneck" TioJaime858 (10:58:22 PM): oh a recap episode TioJaime858 (10:58:42 PM): wow, rob is still a fucker when he's unedited TioJaime858 (10:59:04 PM): OK and hope for terri schiavo and johnnie cochran dies TioJaime858 (10:59:06 PM): yeah TioJaime858 (10:59:12 PM): this was from last week, SHoPpers TioJaime858 (10:59:16 PM): OK goodnight

(G) Yay for cheerleaders!

Was just finishing up dinner when I look on my iChat… SixH is away and I read his away message. It appears below.

TioJ = Tio Jaime, EIT
SixH = SixHertz, closeted [basket]ball fan

7:50 PM TioJ:<