And now I've wet my pants...

found some funny stuff online...




Department of Peace
PeaceRoots Alliance
Brandon Hughey
Kevin Benderman Defense Committee
and SHoP favorite Pablo Parades - go see SixH's GFY exclusive here

OK time to go home, especially since my boss most likely left an hour ago

Jihad Jimmy

Somebody's gonna motherf***ing pay...

OK i've was kidding about this gay thing. It's like that line from "What About Bob?" when bob wiley says "if i fake it, i don't have it!"

Well, the days where i once stood staunchly batting fifth for the home team are over, as I fear I'm facing a trade to the Redmond Bone-Smugglers...


Which OS are You?

Burn in hell, assholes. OK we're going best-of-three, and we're doing this live. If i so happen to choose a craptacular-resulting quiz, it's not for comedic effect...


Which Nigerian spammer are You?

Wow, shittier and shittier the further we go down the rabbit hole.

Best 3 of 5, dammit

OK and this one ain't looking too good as i move to page 2...


Which File Extension are You?

Great! Third time was a steaming pile of crap!

Last fucking chance, this should be a hanging curveball...

Great, this one allows you to have 64 possible outcomes. And all that means is that now you're able to piss off 16x as many people as you could before!

You're Sweden!

After years of trying to rule the world around you, you've
finally put aside violence in favor of advocating peaceful resolution. There's still a little Viking in you, but mostly you like Nobel Prize winners and long nights by the fire.  And safe cars.  You always read the safety manual in airplanes, and you're just a little cold.
Take the Country Quiz at the Blue Pyramid

This was looking up, but pissed me off w/the shitty html to copy-and-paste. There's no real way out of this post, so here's one of my favorite swedes...

---

And now i'm too lazy to find you a nice pic of Victoria Silvstedt. Sorry. But you try toeing the SHoP line like i do.

I just wanna take a nap right now.

Jihad Jimmy

ps- thanks, stupid computer quizzes, for making me go to the extra effort of downloading your stupid pics and having to tool around w/your shitty links.

Eat a lot of broccoli and drink a lot of beer

I'm flossing my teeth right now. But first, here are some links to see where your very own Tio Jaime has been showing off his Charm lately...

The I Hate Liberals Web Forum
Somebody commented on a post here (sorry, too lazy to look it up. check the comments later, maybe it'll be there) from that forum, and so i registered and gave my salutations.

Almost no time at all had passed when some tard of a hippie started in, trying to be cute.

Fortunately, smart beats cute.

I'd like to point out that I stayed within the pre-defined decency constructs of the forum, not swearing a single time. For those regular SHoPpers, you'll readily know that this is no small task. Cock. Balls.

Also, I'd like to point out (and all of you will enjoy this) that I made the LIbEral mad enough at me to get him to call me a name first! Oh man, I love it when that happens. He called me a right-wing asshole, heh. I faintly recall SixH laying down suppressing fire for me in a blogwar once by noting that liberals acknowledge losing an argument when they resort to name-calling.

Oh yes, i call names here all the time, but it's always in the context of pointing out to yet another LIbEral troll just exactly why he lacks the cognitive ability that God granted the common gerbil.

So yes, keep your eyes on this one. I'll post links when the LZ gets hot and heavy.

The Shameless Brainless Antagonist
Here. This mental magician was first brought to the forefront here

And since then, he's broken his blog as there's an unclosed italics tag somewhere in his posts, and as such most of his lame-o posts are italicized.

Slick, dude, slick! Wish you any further to wow us with your intellectual prowess?

9 will win you 5 that he'll delete my comment pointing this out to him, so here it is, safely preserved in the SHoP living history...

Wow, you think I'm an idiot who can't operate the comments in haloscan? Who's the mental magician whose blog is in italics because he can't figure out how to close an html tag? n00b. If you need help with your blog, talk to either SixHertz or myself. Tio Jaime, GOP Enthusiast | Email | Homepage | 02.27.05 - 5:26 am | #

i wonder if he'll fix the italics. whatta fucking joke

OK gotta finish flossing
Jihad Jimmy, Chief Defender of the Faith

ps- sorry about the shitty post earlier. i would've had a cool little post, but right as i wrote that first sentence, my name was called for Round 4 of the Debate Tournament

Greetings from lovely Fremont, CA!

I'm here judging a debate tournament while my mom goes to the San Mateo Home & Garden show to get that paddle engraved for me

shit, gotta go, they're callign me to a round

real quick, check out ihateliberals.com

Fri-dee!

Kitty at lifelike pundits found a lot of cool links for your Fri-dee enjoyment... but if you're lazy and find that you have similar tastes as your Unka Jimmy, you might be able to get by with just these selections (lazy ass)...

Chris Rock, conservative?
I especially like the part where it says "on crime he’s conservative, on prostitution he’s liberal." And I somewhat agree. I have a feeling he and I would come to an agreement on legalization of drugs too... You'll like the last line, too... hilarious shit

DAFFY FAITH OF 'DHARMA' STAR
Suffice it to say that you should never, ever let a hollywood type tell you they're smarter than you and your fellow red state fuckrods. How many normal people do you know are caught up in this Scientology shit? This was big in Seattle I'm told... it might've even gotten its start up there.

And to those of you pricks who get your panties wet when you point out that Christianity is a cult as well? Here's some rope and a nail. Attach aforementioned rope to the top of your door jamb with aforementioned nail. Proceed to piss up the rope. No shit it's a cult. We're not impressed by your out-of-the-box observations. Now go stick your genitals on your George Foreman grill.

30-Second Bunnies Theatre
This is a nice follow-up to 1) the bunny music video I posted earlier this week, and 2) my Shining post (about which I was not supposed to speak, true. Thanks for noticing. Here's some rope and a nail...).

While it now appears that I am Gay for Bunnies, fret not SHoPpers, for I am still Very Gay for Ducks.

---

And now that Firefox has proceeded to eat everything below this line, I'm fucking pissed. I went and fucking explained the duck and the fucking paddle.

Dammit.

Duck: late christmas present for a friend. Got it at Kohl's. Nice because it's similarly sized to an actual duck

Paddle: for my sister. she teaches at a catholic HS in santa monica. we watched this movie Heaven Help Us a lot (it's about a catholic all-boys school in 1960s brooklyn. One of the brothers in the movie was into corporal punishment, and he had a paddle that had the woodburning "PATIENCE" on it. it was fucking bad-ass

so i was driving from san jose to san bruno a few days ago and i saw a truck and trailer headed for the san mateo home and garden show and he had all sorts of custom wood signs with the woodburning that i wanted to get! signs that said stuff like "Jimmy and Tiffany Craponyourbed's Home". You'd recognize it if you saw it, even you blue state norcal fuckups

stupid firefox. i was able to recreate almost everything I lost, but I had a window open w/all the stupid links I had to trackback. Fuck you, firefox.

F off,
Jihad Jimmy, Chief Defender of the Faith

Hippies are the reason that God gave us Guns

Sweet Merciful Crap, do I hate hippies. And apparently so do rooms full of capitalists. Ha ha.

Found this post at one of the links that was e-mailed to me and other conservative bloggers. (Apparently he found it here.) I'd say that the pic at the post is funny, but I really can't fucking stand those stupid Priceless parodies. They aren't funny anymore. And no, I'm not in the mood to rant.

Kyoto protest beaten back by inflamed petrol traders (TJ: wow, that hippie is cute... the glasses? ooh, she's a classic jimmy-woman)
Greenpeace Protesters Find Oil Traders Bullish

You poor stupid hippies.

You poor, poor, misguided, deluded shit-for-brains hippies.

So you try to step to somebody's shit, who in turn totally RUIN your shit? Man, that's just embarassing. I hope these are foriegn hippies, because I don't recall Berkeley hippies being this stupid.

And hey, let's think about this, you fuckrods: What's the point of releasing rape alarms and sounding klaxons if you're just gonna end up giving out earplugs anyway? What the fuck kind of stupid message does that send? That you're sorry for annoying people with your childish antics? BECAUSE YOU'RE NOT SORRY. YOU STRIVE ON ANNOYING PEOPLE.

This whole berkeley thing really warps my fucking perspective, even on things which I will try my best to marginalize! For fuck's sake, I could be a better hippie! I could totally get under people's skins more effectively than these stupid berkeley wannabes!

Ooh, your vans pulled up a few minutes after your ankle-grabber held the door open? WTF? You're lucky you made it inside if you took two minutes to wank each other off in little faggy vans instead of advancing on your objective! HFS, it's amazing you have enough cognitive ability amongst yourselves to be able to concoct something this intricate. Perhaps you had marching orders from some higher-ups. In which case, you were just following orders. And I'll bet you're Ok w/that as an excuse for all sorts of shit which can happen in the name of a political agenda.

And my littany of complaints doesn't really end unless I'm faced with la crap de la crap of hippies, the Berkeley hippies. Instead you have little pussy hippies who block a bridge in Seattle the morning that we go war and erect some stupid teepee/wigwam structure that has some stupid NO IRAQ WAR message scrawled by the least stoned of the bunch. Oh yeah, Seattle hippies blocked the morning commute from the rich east side (think Redmond) into downtown Seattle. Which is ballsy, I had to admit. I thought they were full of monkey-shit, but the stones on them to do that...

...until they started handing out coffee to the motorists trapped on the bridge. What the Shit is that?!? Was it just their aim to spark debate about the war? On the bridge in the middle of the morning commute? Fuck that shit! Hippies aren't nice! Hippies aren't considerate! Isn't that fucking annoying? They want you to think that their shit doesn't stink, and even then, they don't know how to go about doing it! The one thing they're good for- deluded and shitty moralism-- AND THEY CAN'T EVEN FUCKING DO IT!

Activists my ass. I hate them, but for the wrong reasons. I don't hate their message as much as I do their incompetence. I don't hate their misguided morals as much as I do their ineffectiveness. Another case of The Notorious J.A.M.E.S. no longer hating you, but pitying you. And that's just sad. That's not right, taking away my finely tuned and superbly focused hate... C'mere Hate, good boy! Who's a good Hate! You are, yes you are!

Read up on Berkeley hippies. They're a sharper bunch. They took over Barrows Hall once, Sproul Hall too... that sproul hall was a doozy too, the UCPD is located in the basement of sproul, and they managed to neutralize them with bike locks to lock down sproul and fans to render UCPD pepper spray useless. That's hardcore, even I had to hand it to them...

OK, and here's where the Berkeley-cultivated Republican guerilla shines through: I had considered the use of rape alarms to disrupt showings of F9/11 in and around the bay area. Unfortunately, the whole having-a-job thing prevented me from unleashing the wackiness on the disturbingly wacky. So pretty much the only things preventing me from being a berkeley hippie are: 1) severe aversion to patchoulli, 2) residence on the correct extreme of the political spectrum, and 3) my personal contributions to capitalism. Other than that, oh yeah, I'm a berkeley hippie through and through. A hippie who likes guns. That's right, guns, motherfuckers. BIG FUCKING GUNS! GET SOME! GET SOME!

Stupid, stupid hippies. This is what happens in war. The Culture War, you fucktards, the Culture War. And listen closely, because I'll tie this in nicely for all you good, little, God-fearing SHoPpers out there.

LISTEN. UNDERSTAND.

Hippies: don't be surprised when your non-violent, shit-eating tactics are met with violence. See, this is the reason we don't entrust people like you (and think about this before you punch the card for Hitlary in 2008) with big important things like war and capitalism. You wanna hobble and handicap yourselves by abiding by standards to which you and only you will honor? You're gonna fucking lose. (some of you may see where this is going already...)

One of the stupidest mistakes Starfleet made was the agreement not to equip their starships with cloaking devices. The Romulans and Klingons could use them all they wanted, sure, but not Starfleet. The only reason Starfleet didn't lose the war was because it was on TV. (There, that should cover all but the hippies stupidest of you)

Nuclear treaties with nations which no longer exist? You explain that one to me. Let's say I lent you five bucks. Then I died in a glorious, glorious four-way sex frenzy with Crap-On-Your-Bed Girl, Marisa Miller and Hayden from The Amazing Race 6. Dude, you do whatever-the-fuck-ever you wanna do with that five bucks. I ain't coming after you for it... I have died a happy, happy man.

Things like the Geneva Convention and POW protocols are fine and dandy, but not in a situation like the war when one of the sides doesn't abide by them. Ooh, we took the high road? La-di-fucking-da. Let's win this shit already.

All you SHoPpers know this already, but this is for your hippie friends who you will convince to read this post. Ideally. Heh. 1) There's a huge inequity of justice when our POWs get their fucking heads cut off and their POWs can't even be simply draped in a pretty Israeli flag, and 2) don't pass judgments on American servicemen's actions in war while you sit here in your precious little Blue State bubble and appreciate the freedom that some Red State Mother's son has given to you in blood.

Does that paint a rosy fucking picture or what?

,
Jihad Jimmy, Chief Defender of the Faith

Oh my darlin' Condoleezza, Part II

Found this on lifelikepundits.com...




ooh man, if you know your jimmy-history, you'll know that jimmy likes boots! especially these hot stripper kinds!

cool thing about this is? Condi's available! Probably a work-a-holic though, and I can be somewhat of an attention whore. But lemme get that xbox and I should be occupied for a while.

saving myself for Condi,
Jihad Jimmy, Chief Defender of the Faith

Wasting time, SHoP-style!

Greetings!

So yes, I was at my real job yesterday. The one that pays me.

Well, I'm always @ my job, it's just that for the first time in a long time, I had work to do. This entailed driving the entire bay area circuit yesterday. As such, I was away from my computer. No Jihad Jimmy. This is why the SHoP was sans The Notorious J.A.M.E.S. yesterday. Hope you didn't cry yourselves to sleep.

But I was able to receive e-mail, yes, and lo and behold, somebody was spamming the e-mail list of people who applied for credentialing for some blogger-dealie. Not sure exactly, but this is the most likely explanation.

And as somewhat of a joke, I applied a few weeks back and was subsequently refused. Good thing too, as I had stuff to do that weekend...

So yes, bloggers. Spam. Jihad Jimmy mysteriously thrown into the mix. What else are people to do but start hawking their own blogs? Armed with a huge distribution list, people started e-mailing links to each other. While this was appreciated, some took none-too-kindly to this and several requests to stop using "Reply All" were made.

Despite my initial annoyance, I realized that what the thread needed was a liberal dose of the Jimmy. People were just pasting links, la la la, so I figured I might as well join the fray. But before doing so, I should probably participate in the not-so-glamorous "catching" part of link whoring...

You'll notice how I'm subcontracting this SHoP work out to you, in typicl general contractor fashion. Look alive, people, the taco truck comes by at 12:05 on the nose...

http://northerncrown.com/rmorgan/weblog here's where it started, as this dude asked for links. kind of the equivalent of accompanying Jihad Jimmy to his place where everybody knows his hame, standing in the middle of the room and yelling "Man oh man, do I love lap dances from nubile women!" Oh, and you're waving several twenties around high above your head. And from his e-mail loins hath the following been borne...
childofreagan.com
http://spydrzweb.blogspot.com
http://www.windsofchange.net/ and coming soon: http://RandomProbabilities.net/ and now they're talking about how math is hard. maybe they won't like the SHoP...
http://flapsblog.blogspot.com a dentist. which reminds me, i gotta call mine and confirm my appointment later today... Ok done and done
www.lifelikepundits.com la la la, he's not replying to all, thank God, but he'll link to the SHoP if i let him know...
http://www.contrarianblog.com oh you dropped something. like your alma mater's name
www.savethegop.com
www.politicalspectrum.blogspot.com Lefties and righties on that one. Also confirmthem.com, but I have a feeling most of you already read that one.
http://www.therightwingconspiracy.org
http://www.dhogberg.com/ Not to rub it in too hard for the lawyers, but I have a PhD and work for a think-tank. So not only did I avoid being an attorney, in the end I also avoided working academia. God is good. Wow, I'm astounded by how much I don't give a flying fuck

Now taking the mound for your Northern California Guerilla Republicans, Tio tio Jaime! jaime jaime...

Here's my contribution to the thread...

Date: Thu, 24 Feb 2005 09:36:29 -0800 (PST) From: "Jimmy" Subject: RE: RE: that's gonna leave a mark or: How I Learned to Stop Worrying and Love Whoring Links I now somewhat regret my tongue-in-cheek gag of applying for the CPAC-dealie. I would've thought that averaging 69 site visits a day would be a giveaway... http://sixhertz.blogspot.com intro post: http://sixhertz.blogspot.com/2005/02/shop-talk_03.html The SHoP is your all-in-one, home-theater-in-a-box headquarters of two twenty-something bona fide Conservative, Republican, Catholic, Northern Californian kindergarten buddies (SixHertz and Tio Jaime). We use bad words, buttloads of invectives, political incorrectness, and gratuitous nubile women for your entertainment. There's a bit of civil disobedience, which is my own personal contribution to the Culture War. It's a special brand of Guerilla Republicanism that really can only be cultured in the People's Republic of Berzerkeley. Sweet, sweet alma mater, since we're into the whole name/profession dropping today. But yes, guerilla republicanism... you want me on that wall, you need me on that wall. i'm your plausible deniability. In fact, I wouldn't keep this e-mail on your computer once you glean the link(s) and other important info. all my love, Tio Jaime aka Jihad Jimmy, Chief Defender of the Faith ps- congratulations. if you sent me a link before i sent this e-mail, you made the SHoP. Get Some

all my love,
Jihad Jimmy, Chief Defender of the Faith

Sometimes, it's just too easy...

[02/23/2005 - 16:34.27] Poke00210: hey i'm in another blogwar!
[02/23/2005 - 16:34.38] Poke00210: i commented on some retards site after he commented many months ago on the SHoP
[02/23/2005 - 16:35.19] SixHertz: we got comments?!
[02/23/2005 - 16:35.50] Poke00210: yeah from some democrud... you wanna see?
[02/23/2005 - 16:36.12] SixHertz: sure
[02/23/2005 - 16:36.56] Poke00210: OK here's the original SHoP post...
[02/23/2005 - 16:37.07] Poke00210: http://sixhertz.blogspot.com/2005/01/oh-hell-no-you-did-not-just-do-that.html
[02/23/2005 - 16:37.35] Poke00210: his comment
[02/23/2005 - 16:37.36] Poke00210: http://www.haloscan.com/comments/sixhertz/110598859037527653/#61886
[02/23/2005 - 16:38.00] Poke00210: my response(s) follows()
[02/23/2005 - 16:38.36] Poke00210: and here's his blog... http://www.shamelessantagonist.blogspot.com/
[02/23/2005 - 16:39.02] Poke00210: and here's his post that i commented on... but hold off, because i'm in the process of returning fire
[02/23/2005 - 16:39.22] Poke00210: http://shamelessantagonist.blogspot.com/2005_02_01_shamelessantagonist_archive.html#110813276162763453
[02/23/2005 - 16:41.04] Poke00210: shitty post, but i made my Tio Jaime contribution in his comments
[02/23/2005 - 16:41.23] SixHertz: what a [censored]. He obviously hasn't made long comments before.
[02/23/2005 - 16:41.32] Poke00210: oh shit just you wait
[02/23/2005 - 16:41.37] Poke00210: you'll like my return fire
[02/23/2005 - 16:42.12] SixHertz: brb
[02/23/2005 - 16:44.45] SixHertz: back
[02/23/2005 - 16:44.50] Poke00210: OK!!!
[02/23/2005 - 16:44.54] Poke00210: check it out now!
[02/23/2005 - 16:44.59] Poke00210: i just left a lenghty comment
[02/23/2005 - 16:45.02] Poke00210: lengthy
[02/23/2005 - 16:45.41] Poke00210: i'm gonna save this
[02/23/2005 - 16:45.46] Poke00210: he's probably gonna delete that
[02/23/2005 - 16:47.00] SixHertz: write it up on SHoP! Let's flame war!
[02/23/2005 - 16:47.55] Poke00210: OMG, SixH! U R so prejudice LOL!
[02/23/2005 - 16:48.10] SixHertz: hahaah, and it's WYSIWYG
[02/23/2005 - 16:48.21] Poke00210: yeah... umm OK i guess not even you got it
[02/23/2005 - 16:48.31] SixHertz: ah, nevermind
[02/23/2005 - 16:48.32] SixHertz: i get it now
[02/23/2005 - 16:48.33] Poke00210: WYSINWYG = what you see is not what you get
[02/23/2005 - 16:48.36] Poke00210: cool
[02/23/2005 - 16:48.51] Poke00210: you like how i added the html tag there so i wouldn't have to do it later?
[02/23/2005 - 16:49.03] Poke00210: i'll censor your "fucktard" from before"
[02/23/2005 - 16:49.04] SixHertz: lol
[02/23/2005 - 16:49.11] SixHertz: sounds good
[02/23/2005 - 16:49.28] Poke00210: i gotta save this though... i really need to do some fucking work
[02/23/2005 - 16:49.32] Poke00210: i'm technically still on the clock
[02/23/2005 - 16:49.45] SixHertz: roger
[02/23/2005 - 16:50.26] Poke00210: although now I have a few minutes before my POS dell starts up
[02/23/2005 - 16:50.29] Poke00210: from work
[02/23/2005 - 16:50.31] Poke00210: my dell from work
[02/23/2005 - 16:51.34] Poke00210: this guy's a cockmaster
[02/23/2005 - 16:51.39] Poke00210: WTF does he do anyway?
[02/23/2005 - 16:51.46] SixHertz: I just posted a comment to his Khan post.
[02/23/2005 - 16:51.54] SixHertz: he's a moron.
[02/23/2005 - 16:52.07] Poke00210: i didn't even read that post
[02/23/2005 - 16:52.13] Poke00210: i saw a lyrics contest, figured i'd enter
[02/23/2005 - 16:52.21] Poke00210: did you like my mary jo kopechne song?
[02/23/2005 - 16:52.32] SixHertz: yeah, i saw your version before
[02/23/2005 - 16:52.43] Poke00210: it's kind of obscure, but it pisses off the hardcore democruds
[02/23/2005 - 16:53.38] Poke00210: or is this pigfucker foriegn?
[02/23/2005 - 16:53.56] Poke00210: i love it when foreigners stick their noses into american politics
[02/23/2005 - 16:54.07] Poke00210: just goes to show you how insignificant their own native politics are
[02/23/2005 - 16:54.14] Poke00210: in their own eyes
[02/23/2005 - 16:54.44] SixHertz: yeah, that slaves me.
[02/23/2005 - 16:55.01] Poke00210: WTF? who's the dumbfuck who said we should go into saudi arabia?
[02/23/2005 - 16:55.11] SixHertz: beats me.
[02/23/2005 - 16:55.30] SixHertz: and I love this dumocratic underground crap of "Social Security: There is no crisis"
[02/23/2005 - 16:55.38] Poke00210: what a dumbfuck! goes to show you how well of a grasp they have on foreign policy
[02/23/2005 - 16:55.41] SixHertz: Okay, so Bill Clinton F#^&ING LIED TO ME!?
[02/23/2005 - 16:55.55] Poke00210: well shit, there sure as shit was a crisis when bill clinton was trying to push it
[02/23/2005 - 16:56.02] Poke00210: no.
[02/23/2005 - 16:56.05] Poke00210: bill clinton never lies.
[02/23/2005 - 16:56.09] Poke00210: especially not to you.
[02/23/2005 - 16:56.09] SixHertz: MAGIC F#@(ING BEANS!? NO F@$&ING WAY! I WANT SOME!
[02/23/2005 - 16:57.16] Poke00210: Beans, beans / The musical fruit. / The more you eat, / The more you make on your shady insider trading cattle-futures deals
[02/23/2005 - 16:57.29] Poke00210: oh F, that didn't rhyme
[02/23/2005 - 16:57.50] SixHertz: dude, what are you doing? You're on the clock
[02/23/2005 - 16:57.56] Poke00210: F ME
[02/23/2005 - 16:58.02] Poke00210: can you post this? this is gold
[02/23/2005 - 16:58.07] SixHertz: sure.

GFY Tuesday: European Cocksucker Mind Sluts. Or: How I learned to stop taking a hit for 2 seconds and draw caricatures of the US President.

What is with these holier-than-thou assclowns? Oh, really creative, you socialist loser. Did you think of this all on your own? Or was it something you came up with during a bad LSD trip? Let me tell you something, you communist needledick, THERE IS A REASON WHY YOUR COUNTRY IS AN UNDERWEAR SKIDMARK IN 20TH/21ST CENTURY HISTORY. That's right! While your government was trying to make sure you all had a chicken in every pot, and pot in every bong, the United States kept your ass free from being brutally raped by the scourge that is despotism. Only now, you're letting yourself be eaten from the inside by an even scarier thing: Islamofascism.

So be it. Let your country be destroyed. See if I care. Let's see if your brothels and bathhouses will be replaced with mosques and women in burkas. Should be fun, n'est-ce pas? Don't come running to the United States when that happens. I'd likely be giving you a BIG GFY.

Now taking dibs on when conspiracy theorists will try to prove the US has some tectonic plate / earthquake satellite weapon

It'd be pretty damn cool, though, wouldn't it? Or maybe Allah is pissed. I like both explanations.

A practical application of guerilla Republicanism

Found this on sixmeatbuffet...

Bush Lied! Bacon Fried!

See the Porsche?

Here's where it could be parked at night!

yay for the internets!

Go to the SHoP archives back in November and December and find "civil disobedience" on the page. Listen. Understand. Read my comment on SixMeatBuffet, and remember that I live five minutes from Berkeley. You do the math.

Although it would be nice to scoop the blogosphere, I really should sub this work out to somebody else, in general contractor fashion.

SHoP jihad: If you can get to this porche before me, I'll reward you with the Veal Parmigiana at my favorite restaurant. Please provide proof.

I am dead serious.

Jihad Jimmy, Chief Defender of the Faith

UPDATE: OK, i'm gonna retract the jihad. This was tongue-in-cheek, in case you couldn't tell. I realize that when you're dealing with Jihad Jimmy, it is tough to discern real from make-believe most of the time. Don't fuck with this guy's car. That's bad karma.

And duh, my real name is all over this blog and my own personal blog. And there are three accurate models of myself with varying clothes and hair in the previous post. I'm not fucking w/this guy's car.

And that is all I have to say about that.

I promise: this'll be the last you'll hear from me about being pissed about losing my Shining post on Saturday morning.

Found this AIM window (notice the timestamps) left open here in the home office in wacky Benicia, CA. It's a nice recap of last week... lengthy Shining posts, Insaniquarium, WSK, strippers... All is quiet on the Jihad Jimmy front...

It's mon-dee now, I really have a lot of work to do today, so I better get crackin'. Lemme just see if I saved the Bleached Hair Jimmy and the Jesus Hair Jimmy pics...

Chat between SixHertz and Tio Jaime on Fri-dee 18 Feb 2005

SixHertz (3:05:04 PM): OH MAN! THat is the most hilarious damn post I've ever seen. (TJ: OK see what happens when nobody checks out the links I send to them? SixH was the only one to see the post. Here's the aftermath. And here's the aftermath's aftermath.) TioJaime (3:05:15 PM): i haven't done work in about a week TioJaime (3:05:28 PM): here, here's what i'm doing right now TioJaime (3:05:31 PM): i'm trying on clothes TioJaime (3:05:42 PM): www.myvirtualmodel.com SixHertz (3:05:42 PM): LOL TioJaime (3:06:12 PM): in The Shining, it was scary, but in the SHoP, it's entertaining TioJaime (3:08:14 PM): shit, now i wanna watch the shining TioJaime (3:10:36 PM): i like the 10th one, but my favorite, had it turned out correctly would've been #8 TioJaime (3:14:09 PM): oh this virtual model is cool! I can see what i look like w/different hair! SixHertz (3:14:22 PM): this is great TioJaime (3:15:26 PM): wow i'd look really shitty w/bleached hair SixHertz (3:16:31 PM): hahaha TioJaime (3:20:58 PM): i'd also look shitty w/jesus hair TioJaime (3:21:04 PM): lemme see if i can make my stripper TioJaime (3:25:12 PM): that doesn't look like my stripper... the legs look funny TioJaime (3:59:21 PM): witty sex kitten used the word "fucktard" in the middle of december TioJaime (3:59:22 PM): ! TioJaime (4:34:10 PM): I HAVE WORK TO DO!!!!! TioJaime (4:34:30 PM): AND WHY THE FUCK WOULD YOU WAIT UNTIL 4PM ON A FRIDAY TO GIVE SOMEBODY WORK?!? SixHertz (4:40:41 PM): that sucks. SixHertz (4:40:44 PM): i mean, wow. TioJaime (4:40:49 PM): s'OK TioJaime (4:40:57 PM): two bids go out on wednesday TioJaime (4:40:59 PM): i get to do them TioJaime (4:41:04 PM): except we're all off on monday SixHertz (4:41:04 PM): how long? TioJaime (4:41:09 PM): so i get to do two bids o ntuesday TioJaime (4:41:16 PM): hopefully this shouldn't be too tricky SixHertz (4:41:31 PM): not tricky bids? I remember the stories you told of the first ones you had to do. TioJaime (4:41:54 PM): oh yeah those were for multi-milion dollar jobs TioJaime (4:42:04 PM): what did i tell you? fuck that must've been a while ago TioJaime (4:42:15 PM): these jobs are probably a couple of thousand each SixHertz (4:42:29 PM): yeah. SixHertz (4:42:31 PM): that's good TioJaime (4:43:47 PM): i'm rereading WSK's post about her 34DDDs TioJaime (4:44:08 PM): w/nipple ring TioJaime (4:44:10 PM): oh my SixHertz (4:44:16 PM): don't go getting a semi, now. TioJaime (4:44:34 PM): if i was a boob guy, i'd be there already TioJaime (4:45:14 PM): F this, i'm gonna approve these three invoices and go home already SixHertz (4:45:23 PM): SOUNDS GREAT SixHertz (4:51:45 PM): did you ever make enough room for insaniquarium? TioJaime (4:51:56 PM): yeah i played the deluxe version TioJaime (4:52:07 PM): and actually, just two seconds ago, i found the attachment you sent me yesterday TioJaime (4:53:08 PM): i fucking had 4 large guppies, and like 3 carnivores... TioJaime (4:53:17 PM): FUCKING ALIENS ATE EVERYTHING BUT ONE GODDAM CARNIVORE TioJaime (4:53:43 PM): it was teh first time two aliens came on, and me and the stupid swordfish were concentrating on one, and the other one ate all my shit TioJaime (5:31:03 PM): THAT FUCKING FATASS RETARD ALIEN SixHertz signed off at 5:32:35 PM. SixHertz signed on at 6:05:17 PM. SixHertz (6:14:43 PM): left work right? SixHertz signed off at 6:48:12 PM.

Oh, and for some reason, shitty blogger doesn't recognize the colorname red or the hex code #FF0000 or not even the whole rgb (255, 0, 0) shit (i don't think.) Unless I'm doing this incorrectly, which is a distinct possibility.

Get Bent, blogger.com

Jihad Jimmy, Chief Defender of the Faith

How about I sincerely shove my foot up your ass?

Your ass has been on notice, and now notice I'm upping the ante. I swear, these North Korean negotiators and propagandists must have graduated from East Harlem Community College. Dumbass Kim Jong Il...First you don't want unilateral talks, then you do. Then you want six-party talks, then you don't. Then you claim you have nukes and threaten to boycott the talks, then you say you'll go back to the table. Now you express the hope that the US will show "trustworthy sincerity" with six-party talks?? Eh?!

Now I ask you: WHO LOOKS TO BE MOST TRUSTWORTHY?

You liberals who are content enough to blame W for this latest failure will be reminded by me, again, that these "negotiations" (in quotes, because it's all a stalling tactic by the North Koreans, and no one has the balls to go in there and create a nuclear accident inside that backwards nation) have been going on since the Clinton administration.

Oh, and I'm really glad more people are interested in the fact that Paris Hilton's phone got hacked...FOR THE LOVE OF GOD, PEOPLE! GET A CLUE! If you REALLY cared about that story, get off of my blog immediately. You're a waste to the human race. Paris Hilton must die.

Funny Bunny Animation! or: How I Learned to Stop Worrying and Stretch a Simple Post into Rambling Tangents

Everyone Else Has Had More Sex Than Me by Bernard Derriman

found this courtesy of Oriental Redneck. Exactly dude, I'm not the only one! He's from Orange County (i think? definitely socal), lives here now. If you like my dispatches from lovely Oakland, CA here on the frontier of Red America (Flyover Country, if we'd like to take a derogatory term as a badge of honor, i.e. "queer" and [CENSORED]* and "bitch"), check out his page as he also likes to find the funny Blue State idiocy in the SF Chronicle.

A bit of Geography... Here's San Francisco and Oakland....


Here's my route to work from Oakland to the home office in Benicia, CA...


And you'll notice about halfway through my commute, I pass through Concord, CA.


Concord, CA is where flyover country starts. Pretty much everybody Concord and east is a red state american w/o the psychotic blue state ideals. Look and see just how much of California spatially contains the politically retarded segment of this our American population.

There. You see the little swath of land between the pacific ocean and that red star indicating Concord? That's it. That's blue america. Pretty much the edge of california that wide, up and down the coast. It includes the bay area, hollywood. That's it.

And you're letting them win.

This is where my guerilla Republicanism was born. This is where it quietly waits, lurking silently among the clueless masses of Blue Americans. Every once in a while, it is angered to the point of misdemeanor vandalism. But for the most part, it will manifest itself as a mere nuisance.

Like the poltergeist that mysteriously knocked over the F9/11 display at the Barnes and Noble in Emeryville, CA...

Why don't you call up Fry's Electronics in San Jose and ask them to find you a copy of F9/11? I guarantee they'll show 10 in stock, but they won't be able to find a single one. You ever watch The X-Files? Of course you have. Remember the episode (might've been a season finale) where they have the alien fetus in a jar but then some dude hides it in a vast FBI evidence warehouse with hundreds of boxes each on hundreds of shelves?

Just like that, one of the most annoying irritating fucking retarded influential movies of our time? Gone.

Hmmph. Pity.

Jihad Jimmy, Chief Defender of the Faith

ps- yeah, sorry, i forgot. check out 1) the bunny video and 2) Oriental Redneck. Links above, sorry i'm lazy...
pps- if you were curious at one point and quite possibly still are, my avatar is a miniaturized version of The Girls
*-yes, sometimes SixHertz has to get medieval on TioJaime's arse.

Not sure how I scored a decent Verbal SAT score with reading comprehension skills such as mine...

Ok see, when Tio Jaime misinterprets his buddy's comments and spitefully posts, he has to eat crow. And post about it here.

Clarification chat thread
JihadJimmyCDF = Jihad Jimmy, Chief Defender of the Faith
SixHertzWhenIPee = SixHertz... and i try not to think of him peeing, except for the purposes of a funny fake AIM SN

3:49 AM JihadJimmyCDF: there i responded JihadJimmyCDF: get bent SixHertzWhenIPee: the hell are you up? JihadJimmyCDF: yeah i'm fucking up SixHertzWhenIPee: ["snugglebunnies"]. JihadJimmyCDF: tooling around w/this new goddam browser and xanga and html and shit JihadJimmyCDF: goddamit SixHertzWhenIPee: you're drunk like me? JihadJimmyCDF: how are you drunk? JihadJimmyCDF: and no, the fucking scotch wore off 3:50 AM SixHertzWhenIPee: I'm not. I'm messin' wit yous. SixHertzWhenIPee: wow, quite the response. JihadJimmyCDF: yeah, so WTF are you asking? SixHertzWhenIPee: You said you go to war with the army you have. So, which alcoholic beverage don't you have that you wish you did? JihadJimmyCDF: oh is that what you meant? JihadJimmyCDF: whoops. sorry JihadJimmyCDF: i'd like to retract my getting pissed @ you SixHertzWhenIPee: oh, so you were serious about that? JihadJimmyCDF: yeah, so long as you were JihadJimmyCDF: but you weren't JihadJimmyCDF: so i am not SixHertzWhenIPee: yeah, bitch! SixHertzWhenIPee: JihadJimmyCDF: LOL JihadJimmyCDF: i wasn't missing any alcohol JihadJimmyCDF: i was missing cran-grape juice SixHertzWhenIPee: ahhh SixHertzWhenIPee: see, my lack-o-alcohol-awareness shows. JihadJimmyCDF: and my apparent recent localized affinity shows SixHertzWhenIPee: how the heck am I supposed to know what goes with Coke and Vodka? SixHertzWhenIPee: I never even heard of the combination alone. JihadJimmyCDF: weren't you navy? don't they drink a lot in the navy? JihadJimmyCDF: i'd never heard of that shit either! SixHertzWhenIPee: I drink shite straight. 3:55 AM JihadJimmyCDF: i can't drink straight vodka or tequila JihadJimmyCDF: only scotch JihadJimmyCDF: and mixing vodka, i ain't never seen vodka/coke JihadJimmyCDF: fuck what was the question? SixHertzWhenIPee: LOL SixHertzWhenIPee: beats me JihadJimmyCDF: wait, so why are you still up? JihadJimmyCDF: were you crafting? JihadJimmyCDF: it's 4 A-fucking-M SixHertzWhenIPee: yeah. guilty. JihadJimmyCDF: LOL JihadJimmyCDF: nice SixHertzWhenIPee: I'm screwin' around. JihadJimmyCDF: shit i wanna craft right now SixHertzWhenIPee: not tired. SixHertzWhenIPee: I wouldn't wish this game on my worst enemy... SixHertzWhenIPee: wait...yeah I would. JihadJimmyCDF: i was an asshole my freshman year JihadJimmyCDF: i introduced my roommate to Warcraft 2 SixHertzWhenIPee: LOL JihadJimmyCDF: fuck i'd go to sleep but i'm wide fuckign awake JihadJimmyCDF: i'd play insaniquarium, but i'm on the mac SixHertzWhenIPee: haahah JihadJimmyCDF: although, maybe, just maybe this new browser can save my game SixHertzWhenIPee: that's an evil game too JihadJimmyCDF: ooh JihadJimmyCDF: yeah, i'm sorry i told you about it 4:00 AM JihadJimmyCDF: oh thank God, firefox isn't letting it open JihadJimmyCDF: hey whatcha doing next weekend? SixHertzWhenIPee: well, that's the big question, actually. I know it's your birthday on sunday...could be here, or could be in Las Vegas...where are you going to be? JihadJimmyCDF: shit, dinner on saturday either in daly city or san francisco JihadJimmyCDF: then, on sunday JihadJimmyCDF: indian casino w/california craps SixHertzWhenIPee: LOL JihadJimmyCDF: and that means home early from zoo SixHertzWhenIPee: why am I still up? JihadJimmyCDF: not sure... but when you find out, start figuring out why I'm up SixHertzWhenIPee: it's 4 am.

Again, whoops. In the future I'll do a better job of interpreting my own Tio Jaime tangents

I'm going to sleep. It's waay too late.

Jihad Jimmy, Chief Defender of the Faith.

More WSK for you. I've sorted through the raunch so you don't have to.

**snorts** Yeah, like you don't want to...

Posting a link to a Tio Jaime Nation, Xanga Province post here because it's toeing the SHoP line of relevancy. And yes, that has stopped me before. I've also blatantly disregarded it, true, and even when I've been much more sober than I am right now.

The alcohol is wearing off somewhat, although I hope to remedy that soon. I've ordered some pizza from domino's and will have pizza, some vodka/coke, and watch Robocop which I purchased today from Fry's in DVD form for $6.99.

"Vodka/coke, Tio Jaime?" you might find yourself asking. Well, if I may refer you to a previos SHoP post... You go to war with the army you have, not the army you wish to have or will have in the future. And because I know you liked that post, you can see the followup here.

I'll post a bit more later tonight, will see you in a bit,
Jihad Jimmy, Chief Defender of the Faith

I can't believe it's not Xanga!

Was gonna relegate this to the Xanga Province of Tio Jaime Nation, but there are some links to entertaining stuff below

and gratuitous scantily clad-ness

Poke = Jihad Jimmy's old marathon handle
SpacemanSpiff = Jihad Jimmy's old roommate's old marathon handle

12:30 PM SpacemanSpiff: yo yo yo Poke: yo Poke: whattup dude SpacemanSpiff: are there any plans for your birthday? Poke: oh fuck that's right Poke: joe's saturday night? SpacemanSpiff: plans besides playing lots of halo SpacemanSpiff: once you get the xbox Poke: OH and SHIT SpacemanSpiff: joe's saturday night SpacemanSpiff: i'm about fifteen minutes away Poke: and how SpacemanSpiff: zoo afterward? Poke: probably Poke: although not too much zoo Poke: going to the casino on sunday w/my grandma SpacemanSpiff: nice! Poke: ohyes Poke: you wanna come w/? Poke: i'll teach you craps Poke: and how to properly cuss @ slotmachines Poke: oh yes, bow down to my html, xanga chickenfuckers Poke: i did a 3am criticism of The Graduate, you might like it SpacemanSpiff: haha SpacemanSpiff: send me the link Poke: comes w/cool borders & shit Poke: http://www.xanga.com/item.aspx?user=TioJaime&tab=weblogs&uid=208245276 12:35 PM Poke: yeah if you a/o rachel a/o karim are free, you're all cordially invited... Poke: ooh joes man Poke: been getting the veal a la parmagiana (sp?) Poke: good shit, very tender SpacemanSpiff: I can leave the woman at home Poke: your call, but she is cordially invited SpacemanSpiff: okay, dustin hoffman is man-pretty SpacemanSpiff: haha Poke: he *is* Poke: well, he *was* SpacemanSpiff: haha SpacemanSpiff: good stuff Poke: i fucking fell asleep Poke: got too damn tired SpacemanSpiff: it was pretty late Poke: but on the upside, i learned about html tables 12:40 PM SpacemanSpiff: haha, good stuff SpacemanSpiff: tables is where it's at in html Poke: oh, did you see all the TAR6 links? SpacemanSpiff: no Poke: http://www.xanga.com/item.aspx?user=TioJaime&tab=weblogs&uid=206483582 Poke: i'm quite pleased w/firefox SpacemanSpiff: what's this hayden site? Poke: that's her personal modeling site Poke: but you can buy a "subscription" Poke: whatta whore Poke: mmm underwear Poke: i can't save these pics, can i? SpacemanSpiff: screenshot that shit Poke: they're embedded in some flash shit? SpacemanSpiff: booyeah Poke: dude i'm there SpacemanSpiff: she looks better here than she did on the amazing race Poke: yeah dude! Poke: was just about to say Poke: she doesn't have an old head here SpacemanSpiff: man, she fucking broke down on the last few episodes Poke: and man, normally i'm not a boob-guy... Poke: yeah, "Do something before i hyperventilate!" Poke: i liked it when Aaron would talk shit about her to the camera 12:45 PM Poke: haydk@hotmail.com Poke: yay! SpacemanSpiff: that was funny Poke: ooh ohmy Poke: http://www.rebeccacardon.net/ Poke: she got hot towards the end Poke: whoa, and she's all kinds of naked on her page Poke: oh my Poke: eww... what's w/the cornrows? SpacemanSpiff: nekkid? Poke: almost nekkid Poke: i like the rebecca one when she's wearing the ski cap Poke: a thong Poke: and she's daintily pulling her jeans down below her butt Poke: "oops, look what i did!" SpacemanSpiff: her website is annoying Poke: yeah Poke: that song dude SpacemanSpiff: the content is way at the bottom SpacemanSpiff: underneath her vertically scrolling name SpacemanSpiff: grrrrrr.... Poke: if i had a website because i was a model, i'd put the Klingon Long Song SpacemanSpiff: haha Poke: oh i'm still a n00b at this website shit SpacemanSpiff: so, do you update this xanga site regularly? Poke: i didn't even notice the name SpacemanSpiff: is this your blog? Poke: eh, not as much as i'd like Poke: i put a lot of soggy stuff here Poke: most of the time i post at my friend's blog Poke: but that's more polical Poke: fuck Poke: political 12:50 PM Poke: yay! Rebeccacardon@hotmail.com Poke: see that's bad, because now you can send cock pics to hayden & rebecca @ the same time Poke: and chip & reichen too, i'm sure, if you dig enough Poke: oh her name actually does scroll down... yeah, umm OK SpacemanSpiff: chip and reichen SpacemanSpiff: haha SpacemanSpiff: forgot about those dudes SpacemanSpiff: what's the gimmick for the next amazing race SpacemanSpiff: two people from survivor? SpacemanSpiff: or something Poke: Boston Rob in TAR 7 Poke: yep Poke: that's shitty Poke: that's like celebrity mole SpacemanSpiff: remember the big brother tie-in Poke: but TAR doesn't need the gimmick! SpacemanSpiff: that team sucked balls Poke: no what was that again? 12:55 PM SpacemanSpiff: remember, I think it was during the chip and kim season Poke: they must've gotten booted early SpacemanSpiff: yeah, they were the second off I think Poke: yeah yeah, now that you mention it, it's starting to come back to me Poke: can't remember who it was though for the life of me SpacemanSpiff: some annoying blonde and a racially-ambiguous guy Poke: LOL racially-ambiguous Poke: yeah SpacemanSpiff: i gotta go SpacemanSpiff: but I'll talk to you laterz, yo Poke: OK dude, i'll talk to you soon

Hope these stupid colors turned out OK. Although I'm told that using the font tag is outdated???

Jihad Jimmy, Chief Defender of the Faith

UPDATE: OK tried style inside the strong tags, but for some reason it's not working. Is this because i'm in a table??? Please advise

OK. Got a little Mozilla Firefox action going on now. Let's see if it will incur the wrath that is Jihad Jimmy

JihadJimmy = JihadJimmy, Chief Defender of the Faith
SixHertzWhenIPee = my buddy from kindergarten

12:28 PM JihadJimmy: here... here's what i've been downloading JihadJimmy: Direct Instant Message session started SixHertzWhenIPee: That's nice. JihadJimmy: she's from santa cruz! SixHertzWhenIPee: now it's shown up all over my chat box, and chrissy is right behind me. SixHertzWhenIPee: thanks. 12:30 PM JihadJimmy: oh JihadJimmy: whoops SixHertzWhenIPee: i don't think she's seen it. SixHertzWhenIPee: look SixHertzWhenIPee: i SixHertzWhenIPee: can SixHertzWhenIPee: mak SixHertzWhenIPee: make SixHertzWhenIPee: the SixHertzWhenIPee: chat SixHertzWhenIPee: window JihadJimmy: pig JihadJimmy: fuckers SixHertzWhenIPee: disappear JihadJimmy: man SixHertzWhenIPee: ahah JihadJimmy: gina SixHertzWhenIPee: ah SixHertzWhenIPee: a SixHertzWhenIPee: a SixHertzWhenIPee: ODC2 An undefined AIM error has occurred. The server message was: Rend:Error SixHertzWhenIPee: a SixHertzWhenIPee: a SixHertzWhenIPee: a SixHertzWhenIPee: a JihadJimmy: let JihadJimmy: me JihadJimmy: help SixHertzWhenIPee: ok, all good now. SixHertzWhenIPee: :D JihadJimmy: nice job baby JihadJimmy: odc2? JihadJimmy: just be thankful i didn't find the other pics yet JihadJimmy: rather, the ones i just found SixHertzWhenIPee: hahah 12:35 PM JihadJimmy: here JihadJimmy: "chick with big knockers" JihadJimmy: Direct Instant Message session started SixHertzWhenIPee: a chick with two knockers? SixHertzWhenIPee: ah SixHertzWhenIPee: yes, i see the previous text now. JihadJimmy: yesh 12:40 PM JihadJimmy: hey so far, firefox is nice JihadJimmy: likes blogger OK so far SixHertzWhenIPee: :D SixHertzWhenIPee: it's a helluva lot faster than IE. SixHertzWhenIPee: IE blows chunks. JihadJimmy: OK good to hear JihadJimmy: yeah JihadJimmy: IE looked shitty too

Before I hit the "Publish Post" I'm gonna copy and paste this into another window. Wish me luck, SHoPpers...

Jihad Jimmy, Chief Defender of the Faith

THANKS A FUCKLOAD

OH LOOK. ANOTHER POST EATEN BY BLOGGER. NOT SAFARI, ALTHOUGH I WILL BE DOWNLOADING THIS FIREFOX SHIT IN A COUPLE OF SECONDS... KICK ME WHILE I'M DOWN ORQUIZA, WILL YOU?!?

Poke00210 = pissed because i lost TWO posts now
Soggy Brent = Bowles Hall RCC Emeritus

this iChat transcript was originally posted here. dammit.

poke00210: did you see the SHoP? SoggyBrent: not today SoggyBrent: what's up poke00210: from yesterday? you ever watch the Shining? poke00210: not the Gining 10:45 AM SoggyBrent: no SoggyBrent: HAhahahahahha SoggyBrent: MAN-SHINY! poke00210: LOL SoggyBrent: *sigh* poke00210: shit, i just lost the post SoggyBrent: oh poke00210: i changed the table width, and now there's an empty post poke00210: HOLY FUCK HOLY FUCK HOLY FUCK poke00210: i hope i didn't lose it poke00210: the post, i mean SoggyBrent: it's not like the lionel richie black post? poke00210: FUCK IT'S GONE poke00210: NO A BETTER POST SoggyBrent: not that he's "black" but that it was black SoggyBrent: oh nooooo SoggyBrent: are you sure? SoggyBrent: can you hit your back button? poke00210: I THINK SO poke00210: NOT ANYMORE poke00210: fuck 10:50 AM SoggyBrent: crud SoggyBrent: can you re-do it? SoggyBrent: or was it so good it was only a one time shot poke00210: only a one time poke00210: fuck dude poke00210: Safari is fucking worthless poke00210: it ate an entire day-long post SoggyBrent: OH SHIZZLE SoggyBrent: that sucks SoggyBrent: OH MY GAHHTS... safari ate your post SoggyBrent: and it was GOOOOD poke00210: oh jesus, it's gone SoggyBrent: i'm sorry dude SoggyBrent: that's horrible poke00210: goddamit SoggyBrent: i gotta go, i only have 5% on my battery SoggyBrent: ttyl poke00210: OK see ya

poke00210 = Jihad Jimmy, Chief Defender of the Faith, kinda curious to see if IE is gonna take a huge shit on the SHoP (BCP c/o 96, Cal Band Cymbals & Glock, UCB c/o 2000)
LittleBell = Orquiza, always full of helpful suggestions (BCP c/o 98, Cal Band Cymbals & Glock, UCB c/o 2002)

LittleBell: i want to go skiing! poke00210: what kind of filipino are you? poke00210: goddamit, i just lost a huge Shining-style post poke00210: fucking safari or fucking blogger.com ate my entire fucking post poke00210: took me like 4 hours yesterday 11:05 AM LittleBell: use firefox poke00210: well now that the fucking horses have already ran away and taken huge shits all over Rancho San Jimmy, yes i might as well

POS blogger, why can't I even fucking preview my posts now?

This is not, btw, because I have a Mac... this is because blogger is a bunch of little goddam fucktards.

On a happier note (grumbles), I've found an appropriate format for chat transcripts. I'm learning this html thing, slowly but surely.

Jihad Jimmy, Chief Defender of the Faith

FUCKING BLOGGER ATE MY "THE SHINING" POST. ASSHOLE.

All play and no work makes Jimmy a dull engineer

"by the way, fyi, the electric eel is a worthless piece of shit. there. i said it."

Insaniquarium, baby... check out popcap games

JihadJimmyCDF = Jihad Jimmy, Chief Defender of the Faith
SixHearts = SixHertz, but in girl form but when you censor out his potty mouth

---

JihadJimmyCDF (9:07:24 AM): yay i'm here at work again!
SixHearts (9:15:03 AM): insaniquarium! yay!
JihadJimmyCDF (9:15:15 AM): not enough space on my HD
JihadJimmyCDF (9:15:22 AM): and disk cleanup froze up
SixHearts (9:15:25 AM): damn
JihadJimmyCDF (9:15:25 AM): fucking asshole
SixHearts (9:15:46 AM): [SEXUALLY PENETRATING] ALIEN ATE MY EXPENSIVE FISH. [POOP CHUTE].
JihadJimmyCDF (9:16:09 AM): FUCK YOU ALIENS!
SixHearts (9:16:15 AM): LOL
JihadJimmyCDF (9:20:48 AM): i'm gonna post random shit today, but i'll try to keep it off the SHoP
JihadJimmyCDF (9:21:05 AM): unless you want to see your grade school friend mentally deteriorate right before your eyes
SixHearts (9:22:11 AM): heheh, off the SHoP indeed. When you come up for air and maintain short periods of lucidity, feel free to put in some SHoP posts. ;)
JihadJimmyCDF (9:22:22 AM): sounds good
JihadJimmyCDF (9:33:39 AM): maybe i should ditch work and go to the casino
JihadJimmyCDF (9:38:13 AM): hey you ever find the link to the FYG from the SHoP?
SixHearts (9:38:33 AM): not a direct page link.
SixHearts (9:43:44 AM): which pets u use in the game?
JihadJimmyCDF (9:44:09 AM): i usually choose the pregnant welfare fish that keeps spitting out guppies
JihadJimmyCDF (9:44:15 AM): the snail that collects coins and shit
JihadJimmyCDF (9:44:33 AM): eventually the thing that collects stars?
JihadJimmyCDF (9:44:39 AM): sometimes the swordfish
SixHearts (9:44:44 AM): ah
SixHearts (9:45:14 AM): i like the snail fish, the jellyfish clyde, and gumbo who protects my [EXCRETORY] fish
JihadJimmyCDF (9:45:57 AM): what does teh jelly fish do again?
SixHearts (9:46:07 AM): collects the coins floating.
JihadJimmyCDF (9:46:17 AM): oh maybe i never got that one yet
SixHearts (9:46:21 AM): coin collectors are tops.
JihadJimmyCDF (9:46:25 AM): yeha totally
SixHearts (9:46:39 AM): The name of it is Clyde. It was my 6th fish
JihadJimmyCDF (9:47:02 AM): i think th eorderof the pets are random
SixHearts (9:47:09 AM): I'm using stinky, clyde, and my newest fish, Nimbus--a manta ray.
JihadJimmyCDF (9:47:22 AM): what does nimbus do again?
SixHearts (9:47:38 AM): tosses up any coins or food he catches to the top of the tank
SixHearts (9:47:58 AM): that way, my other [FEMALE DOGS] can try collecting the coins again.
SixHearts (9:48:15 AM): DO YOU HEAR ME, [FEMALE DOGS]?! CATCH THE [SEXUALLY PENETRATING] COINS!
SixHearts (9:48:19 AM): :P
JihadJimmyCDF (9:48:29 AM): LOL
JihadJimmyCDF (9:48:38 AM): i sense another Insaniquarium post coming up soon
JihadJimmyCDF (9:48:50 AM): you'll like my All Play and No Work post
JihadJimmyCDF (9:48:52 AM): oh boy
JihadJimmyCDF (9:48:55 AM): gonna be a long day
JihadJimmyCDF (9:48:57 AM): i wanna ditch right now
SixHearts (9:50:27 AM): [SEXUALLY PENETRATING] ALIEN ATE MY BREEDER
JihadJimmyCDF (9:50:42 AM): wait are you serious? aliens can eat pets?
SixHearts (9:51:21 AM): there are breeder fish for 200 now.
SixHearts (9:51:37 AM): dood, didn't you install the deluxe version yet?
JihadJimmyCDF (9:52:39 AM): no, still trying to free up space on my shitty hard drive
JihadJimmyCDF (9:52:51 AM): wouldn't be a problem if this stupid computer didn't keep fucking around w/virtual memory
SixHearts (9:52:56 AM): this bullshit game is getting harder.
SixHearts (9:54:58 AM): wow, the manta ray rocks.
SixHearts (9:59:48 AM): HOLY [SEXUALLY PENETRATING] [EXCREMENT] THE TANK IS FULL OF COINS!
JihadJimmyCDF (10:00:32 AM): http://www.rhothetaphi.org/jimmy/hearts/HeartHFS.jpg
SixHearts (10:00:41 AM): AHHHHHHHH!
SixHearts (10:01:10 AM): THERE ARE SO MANY FISH I CAN'T FEED THEM ALL!
SixHearts (10:01:20 AM): OH SHIT! ANOTHER [SEXUALLY PENETRATING] ALIEN!
JihadJimmyCDF (10:01:27 AM): AHHHHHH!!! NO SURVIVORS!!!
SixHearts (10:02:37 AM): [SEXUALLY PENETRATING] FISH ARE DYING EVERYWHERE!
JihadJimmyCDF (10:04:59 AM): GAME OVER, MAN!!!!!
SixHearts (10:05:05 AM): ooh, cool pet.
SixHearts (10:05:10 AM): Amp the electric eel.
SixHearts (10:05:25 AM): electrocutes your entire tank killing your fish and turning them into diamonds.
SixHearts (10:05:32 AM): wait a second...
SixHearts (10:05:37 AM): is that good?
JihadJimmyCDF (10:05:47 AM): shit, i don't know
SixHearts (10:05:48 AM): MAYBE WHEN THE [SEXUALLY PENETRATING] FISH KEEP DYING 'CAUSE I CAN'T FEED THEM ALL!
SixHearts (10:05:54 AM): [EXCRETION]!
SixHearts (10:09:32 AM): OH [SEXUALLY PENETRATING] FATASS ALIEN!
SixHearts (10:09:51 AM): this level is gonna take forever.
JihadJimmyCDF (10:10:35 AM): you should choose the pet that [inappropriate] thereby turning them into [inappropriate]
JihadJimmyCDF (10:10:51 AM): and please remind me to censor that before putting it up on the SHoP
SixHearts (10:11:37 AM): TWO [SEXUALLY PENETRATING] ALIENS AT ONCE?!
SixHearts (10:11:40 AM): OH [EXCRETION] ON ME!
SixHearts (10:11:57 AM): no putting this up on the SHoP
SixHearts (10:12:04 AM): I swear too [BLASPHEMY] much.
JihadJimmyCDF (10:12:44 AM): fuck that then you can go back and censor yourself
JihadJimmyCDF (10:12:51 AM): so you swear
JihadJimmyCDF (10:12:53 AM): big deal
JihadJimmyCDF (10:12:59 AM): that's what men our age do
JihadJimmyCDF (10:13:04 AM): especially when playing insaniquarium
SixHearts (10:24:36 AM): [SEXUALLY PENETRATING] ALIEN ATE MY $10,000 ULTRAVORE!
SixHearts (10:24:43 AM): [SEXUALLY PENETRATION] [EXCRETION] [MALE CHICKEN] [ROUND OBJECTS USED IN ATHLETICS]!@
JihadJimmyCDF (10:24:55 AM): LOL
JihadJimmyCDF (10:24:56 AM): oh fuck
SixHearts (10:27:08 AM): ok. i give up
SixHearts (10:28:03 AM): by the way, fyi, the electric eel is a worthless piece of [EXCREMENT].
SixHearts (10:28:07 AM): there. i said it.
JihadJimmyCDF (10:28:36 AM): LOL
JihadJimmyCDF (10:28:49 AM): i think we found ourselves a post title
JihadJimmyCDF (10:29:19 AM): how familiar are you w/html?
SixHearts (10:30:13 AM): hahaha
SixHearts (10:30:17 AM): pretty familiar
JihadJimmyCDF (10:30:55 AM): i'm trying to format my text using a table, but there's a ton of white space between the hr before the text and the table itself
JihadJimmyCDF (10:31:03 AM): and just you wait until you see this post
JihadJimmyCDF (10:34:55 AM): hello?
SixHearts (10:35:09 AM): i was just reading the chat transcript. LOL
SixHearts (10:35:28 AM): no wonder they call it Insaniquarium. I went insane.
JihadJimmyCDF (10:35:33 AM): LOL
JihadJimmyCDF (10:35:41 AM): i'll try it later when i free up some disk space
SixHearts (10:36:05 AM): [BLASPHEMY], dude. it's like, 10MB. What do you have in there? a 40MB HD?
JihadJimmyCDF (10:36:21 AM): i have no idea where all my fucking space went
JihadJimmyCDF (10:36:26 AM): this is an old computer
JihadJimmyCDF (10:37:08 AM): 7 megs free on a 6 gig hd
SixHearts (10:37:12 AM): ouch

---

Not sure why I'm supposed to censor out SixH's words when 1) mine are clearly visible and 2) if you're smart enough to read the SHoP, you can probably figure out what he was saying...

all my love,
Jihad Jimmy, Chief Defender of the Faith

FUCKING ALIEN ATE MY EXPENSIVE FISH. ASSHOLE.

Here we are chatting while i'm at work. We're talking about lesbian fish and the SHoPpability of a certain mystery song. The song has been relegated to elsewhere. Go find it. There's a hint somewhere in this post.

The song in question refers back to the night of the election, 2004. SixH and I were overjoyed to see similar ballot measures across the Union defeated. Go find the song to see exactly what we're talking about.

Jihad Jimmy, Chief Defender of the Faith

---

JihadJimmy = Tio Jaime! aka Jihad Jimmy, Chief Defender of the Faith
TinkleFlower = corresponding Girl Parts Name of SixH's AIM screenname

JihadJimmy (11:48:25 AM): yo
TinkleFlower (11:48:37 AM): s'up
JihadJimmy (11:48:47 AM): fourth day of not really doing anything
TinkleFlower (11:48:57 AM): join the club.
JihadJimmy (11:49:22 AM): how you be otherwise?
JihadJimmy (11:49:37 AM): wait, so you just go into the office and hang out?
TinkleFlower (11:50:38 AM): doin' okay. Actually, went into the office today for about an hour and a half. All I did was, basically, help clean the office.
TinkleFlower (11:51:04 AM): Then I ran an errand, and went home, and ate lunch....and there you have it.
JihadJimmy (11:51:22 AM): damn nice
TinkleFlower (11:51:58 AM): oh yeah. Just call me slacker.
JihadJimmy (11:52:07 AM): whatevs
JihadJimmy (11:53:50 AM): i just wanna leave and play video games right now
TinkleFlower (11:54:12 AM): hehe, I'm avoiding the video games.
JihadJimmy (11:54:26 AM): i was playing Medal of Honor last night
JihadJimmy (11:54:30 AM): fuck, i hate snipers and campers
TinkleFlower (11:54:35 AM): online?
JihadJimmy (11:54:39 AM): yeah
TinkleFlower (11:54:40 AM): LOL
TinkleFlower is idle at 12:08:07 PM.
TinkleFlower is no longer idle at 12:10:00 PM.
TinkleFlower is idle at 12:10:17 PM.
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TinkleFlower is no longer idle at 12:18:08 PM.
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TinkleFlower is no longer idle at 12:21:11 PM.
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TinkleFlower is idle at 12:40:28 PM.
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JihadJimmy (1:55:48 PM): fuck this
JihadJimmy (1:55:54 PM): i'm gonna play insaniquarium
TinkleFlower (1:55:59 PM): ?!
TinkleFlower (1:56:03 PM): insaniquarium?
JihadJimmy (1:56:22 PM): you never played insaniquarium?
JihadJimmy (1:56:37 PM): http://www.popcapgames.com
JihadJimmy (1:56:45 PM): play the web version
JihadJimmy (1:57:45 PM): Ok and already I fucked it up
JihadJimmy (1:57:51 PM): http://www.popcap.com
TinkleFlower (1:58:32 PM): lol
JihadJimmy (1:58:58 PM): you playing it?
JihadJimmy (1:59:07 PM): because i guarantee you'll be able to play until dnner time
JihadJimmy (1:59:10 PM): dinner
JihadJimmy (1:59:22 PM): oh! and i found this song i was writing
JihadJimmy (1:59:37 PM): i should finish and post it
JihadJimmy (1:59:46 PM): you'll like it, we were talking about it a few moons ago
TinkleFlower (1:59:53 PM): cool
JihadJimmy (2:11:00 PM): OK
JihadJimmy (2:11:02 PM): finished
JihadJimmy (2:11:14 PM): you have the mp3 of lionel richie's "All Night Long" still?
JihadJimmy (2:11:25 PM): or are you playign insaniquarium?
TinkleFlower (2:12:01 PM): insaniquarium
TinkleFlower (2:12:02 PM): shit
TinkleFlower (2:12:05 PM): it's kinda fun
JihadJimmy (2:12:16 PM): yeah dude
JihadJimmy (2:12:21 PM): it's a pretty sweet game
JihadJimmy (2:12:27 PM): just wait until you get the cool shit
TinkleFlower (2:12:49 PM): do i have to buy the fucker?
JihadJimmy (2:12:56 PM): no the web version is free
JihadJimmy (2:13:05 PM): you get maybe 15 levls or so?
TinkleFlower (2:14:08 PM): did you find a hacked version?
JihadJimmy (2:14:13 PM): no
JihadJimmy (2:14:17 PM): haven't looked, though
TinkleFlower is idle at 2:15:08 PM.
TinkleFlower (2:15:36 PM): so that's why you changed your AOL avatar to a fish.
JihadJimmy (2:15:47 PM): umm, no, but good opint
JihadJimmy (2:15:48 PM): point
JihadJimmy (2:15:57 PM): the buddyicon is the lesbian fish from Finding Nemo
TinkleFlower is no longer idle at 2:16:05 PM.
TinkleFlower (2:16:44 PM): i hate [SLUR].
JihadJimmy (2:17:23 PM): FUCKING ALIEN ATE MY EXPENSIVE FISH
JihadJimmy (2:17:30 PM): ASSHOLE
TinkleFlower (2:22:04 PM): LOL
TinkleFlower (2:22:13 PM): i know, mine did too
JihadJimmy (2:29:08 PM): OK no more insaniquarium
JihadJimmy (2:29:17 PM): when you're ready for that song, lemme know
JihadJimmy (2:29:23 PM): i don't think it's SHoPpable
TinkleFlower (2:29:57 PM): I think we should write a song titled "FUCKING ALIEN ATE MY EXPENSIVE FISH"
TinkleFlower (2:30:11 PM): "ASSHOLE"
TinkleFlower (2:30:14 PM): LOL
JihadJimmy (2:30:28 PM): LOL
JihadJimmy (2:30:43 PM): you get carnivores yet?
TinkleFlower (2:32:24 PM): hehe, yeah
TinkleFlower (2:32:30 PM): i need to move this off of my laptop
TinkleFlower (2:32:35 PM): trackpad is too fucking hard.
JihadJimmy (2:32:46 PM): heh, i'd imagine
TinkleFlower is idle at 2:41:15 PM.
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TinkleFlower returned at 2:51:37 PM.
TinkleFlower (2:51:59 PM): shit. windows fuckin' crashed while I was playing.
TinkleFlower (2:52:06 PM): I gotta stop. That's definitely a sign.
JihadJimmy (2:52:07 PM): d'oh
JihadJimmy (2:52:19 PM): no, it's a sign you weren't playing *hardcore* enough
TinkleFlower (2:52:38 PM): LOL
TinkleFlower is idle at 2:54:21 PM.
JihadJimmy (2:57:38 PM): OK now i need a ruling on a song
TinkleFlower is no longer idle at 2:57:46 PM.
TinkleFlower (2:58:08 PM): what about "all night long"?
JihadJimmy (2:58:23 PM): we were talking about a parody "fuck you [CENSORED]"
JihadJimmy (2:58:25 PM): and i finished it
JihadJimmy (2:58:30 PM): (goodbye shock value)
TinkleFlower (2:58:38 PM): oh god.
JihadJimmy (2:58:38 PM): it's not really SHoP appropriate
TinkleFlower (2:58:46 PM): most definitely not.
JihadJimmy (2:58:51 PM): but i have it in a table right now against a black background
JihadJimmy (2:59:14 PM): so if you want to read it you'll have to highlight it
JihadJimmy (2:59:26 PM): is it SHoPpable now?
TinkleFlower (3:00:27 PM): um.
TinkleFlower (3:00:34 PM): probably not still.
TinkleFlower (3:00:37 PM): heh
JihadJimmy (3:00:42 PM): no NP
JihadJimmy (3:00:45 PM): just wanted to check first
JihadJimmy (3:00:55 PM): i'll provide a link, but will still have the lyrics blacked out
TinkleFlower (3:03:06 PM): ok
JihadJimmy (3:03:20 PM): have the mp3 ready so you can sing along
TinkleFlower (3:03:49 PM): heh, okay
TinkleFlower is idle at 3:06:11 PM.
TinkleFlower is no longer idle at 3:06:56 PM.
TinkleFlower is idle at 3:08:08 PM.
TinkleFlower (3:08:57 PM): My mp3 is playing.
TinkleFlower is no longer idle at 3:08:58 PM.
TinkleFlower (3:09:06 PM): but I have no "Fuck you [CENSORED]" lyrics!
JihadJimmy (3:09:37 PM): Hey. chill out
JihadJimmy (3:09:49 PM): go read the hot chocolate post, remind yourself about patience
JihadJimmy (3:10:04 PM): and really now, SixH, at what price decency???
TinkleFlower (3:10:18 PM): blow me.
TinkleFlower (3:10:24 PM): :D
JihadJimmy (3:10:26 PM): You should be proud of me that I didn't just try to ramrod this song into the SHoP
TinkleFlower (3:10:44 PM): 8-O <-- make like this and get ready.
JihadJimmy (3:10:50 PM): Trust me on this one: 1) it'll be worth the wait, and 2)
JihadJimmy (3:10:52 PM): pigfucker
TinkleFlower (3:10:54 PM): LOL
JihadJimmy (3:11:05 PM): 2) you'll appreciate the precautions I'm taking...
JihadJimmy (3:13:18 PM): whoa shit!
JihadJimmy (3:13:20 PM): emergency!
JihadJimmy (3:13:31 PM): lyrics clearly available on xanga
JihadJimmy (3:13:33 PM): shit!
JihadJimmy (3:13:47 PM): oh fuck fuck fuck
TinkleFlower (3:14:49 PM): LOL
JihadJimmy (3:15:02 PM): this is not what i had in mind
JihadJimmy (3:15:46 PM): are you reading it right now?
JihadJimmy (3:15:54 PM): read it quick before i change the text color to black
TinkleFlower (3:16:24 PM): see, aren't you glad you didn't put this on the shop now? :D
JihadJimmy (3:16:44 PM): no, aren't *you* glad I didn't put this on the SHoP?
JihadJimmy (3:16:46 PM): LOL
JihadJimmy (3:17:00 PM): good thng nobody reads this xanga blog
TinkleFlower (3:17:01 PM): LOL
TinkleFlower (3:17:04 PM): hahaha
JihadJimmy (3:17:06 PM): i hope not right now at least
TinkleFlower is idle at 3:18:04 PM.
JihadJimmy (3:18:49 PM): OK refresh
JihadJimmy (3:18:54 PM): situation rectified
TinkleFlower is no longer idle at 3:19:08 PM.
JihadJimmy (3:19:44 PM): when i previewed on xanga, it was black text against a black box
JihadJimmy (3:19:52 PM): but not when i publsihed
JihadJimmy (3:19:56 PM): published
TinkleFlower (3:20:03 PM): hehe, oops
JihadJimmy (3:20:21 PM): you like the song
JihadJimmy (3:20:23 PM): ?
TinkleFlower (3:20:55 PM): it's really good, actually.
TinkleFlower (3:21:10 PM): I like the "I hope you die from AIDS" line. Classic. :D
JihadJimmy (3:21:23 PM): borrowed the sentiment from michael savage
TinkleFlower (3:21:31 PM): AHAHAHAH
JihadJimmy (3:21:58 PM): OK i'm going to reference the xanga page for curious and resourceful SHoPpers
TinkleFlower (3:23:05 PM): now only if our viewers weren't just that clockwork orange google reference.
TinkleFlower (3:23:12 PM): whatever the fuck that is.
JihadJimmy (3:23:31 PM): yeah what the shit is that anyway?

update from outpost Xanga

Can't get enough Tio Jaime here? Feeling the pangs of withdrawal? Here's what's happening in Tio Jaime Nation, Xanga Province...

3AM Criticism of Gilmore Girls
The Amazing Race 6 links
Star Trek nerds in action - VERY nerdy
Witty Sex Kitten Chat - me and SixH, no WSK
3AM Criticisms of TAR5 and TAR6 - also has greeting for the pervs who keep googling "hayden boobs" and "Marisa Miller Boobs"

Still no word from the higher-ups what they want me to be doing right now. For those of you just joining us, I was told by my boss before 8am PST on Monday to "Sit tight, while I find something for you to do." I've kept myself busy since then, and today I'll be reviewing the timesheets for the job.

Not a whole-day task, which is why I haven't even started it yet.

gonna stop by Safeway to supplement my lunch. no, that's not code for vicodin.

Jihad Jimmy, Chief Defender of the Faith

I am the God of Hellfire, and I bring you...

...Hot Chocolate!

So if you're anything like your Tio Jaime, you like hot chocolate. (among other things. and more things. And even more things.) In fact you like hot chocolate so much that you're stupid and pigheaded when it comes to waiting for it to cool down. Which means that you've been burning your lips, mouth, and tongue for the past 20 years because your affinity for the hot, chocolate nectar far outweighs your vast array of patience and self-restraint.

But the past few days, I believe I've found the secret to drinking hot chocolate! Without waiting like a goody two-shoes, that is...

If you quickly dilute a sip of hot chocolate with your saliva, you don't burn yourself!

That's all. And you know what the cool thing is? You can also use this for tea and coffee! Cool shit, huh?

I'll drink mint tea every once in a while (Plantaion Mint from Bigelow. And I always end up in a racial invective. "Massa James! De confederates jus done won de war!" And I can't remember having coffee since I left Seattle a year-and-a-half ago. And even then I only had like 20 cups total? Over a year-and-a-half, yeah.

And I didn't like it as much as my hot chocolate, I wasn't in a rush to drink it, so it was cold most of the time.

And it pretty much tasted like spit anyway.

Jihad Jimmy, Chief Defender of the Faith

This is why liberalism is a disease...

Tax driving by the mile, eh? Wow. Who the hell thinks up this stuff? This is a load of crap if I've ever heard it. It truly shows the short-sightedness of liberalism. Not only does this system not necessarily replace the current tax, but it additionally penalizes people who must drive a long distance to work. Think here in San Diego. Only 15% of the population can afford housing in S.D., proper. The rest must purchase homes up to 100 miles away and commute EVERY DAY. Talk about taking it to the middle class and the poor. A person who drives a Mercedes and who lives in La Jolla will be taxed LESS than Joe Shmoe who drives a hybrid and lives in Temecula. And who do YOU know who works from home? Not someone who makes under $100K per year.

The liberals told us to drive hybrids. The liberals want to tax the people who drive them now. Have you learned your lesson yet? ISN'T IT PLAINLY OBVIOUS?

STOP THE INSANITY!

When people point weapons at you, there's usually some unilateral action they're not telling you about. And for good reason too, ya?

Wizbang got me thinking again... and you know how dangerous that can be. Check it out, think about it yourself and then change your skivvies. Don't want to steal his thunder, but suffice it to say that...

A nuke powered Iran with missiles to reach Europe can't happen.

Hmm, foreign missiles trained on US interests? Can any good come of this? Well, lemmethinkforasecondhere NO

There's no real way around this, but when it all boils down to it, France is our ally (grumbles) and a US interest abroad. And not just because of tastefully done black and white photo calendars of french underwear models.

Howdy and Welcome Back to the SixHertz House of Pain! I'm Jihad Jimmy, and I'll be your Chief Defender of the Faith for tonight. What's that? Why yes, I too like french underwear models, thank you for ask-- oh, lost y'all again there...

doo dee doo
la la la

OK. Hi. SHoP. Jihad Jimmy. France getting nuked. Bad Idea. Although it may be a welcome sight to us here in Red America, in the long run wouldn't be A Good Thing (grumbles).

I just wonder how much time the liberal media will give this all, or will they just try to sweep it under the rug. I mean we saw how well they covered the whole Lockheed Martin exporting sensitive data to China back in 1994 under the Clinton Administration. Not sure why Bubba would allow technology that would aid somebody in pointing missiles at these our United States of America to be sent to somebody like China, but really, who am I, a simple Republican who likes naughty black and white pictures to criticize Bill Clinton and his wacky Chinese sugar daddies?

But yeah, Iran & Syria? This is bad. This isn't like the chocolate & peanut butter commercials for reese's back when I was a wee republican under ronald reagan. Ooh, no. Not unless your particular brand of chocolate hates Jews and your peanut butter flies American planes filled with American passengers into American skyscrapers with international occupants.

Phone Home,
Jihad Jimmy, Chief Defender of the Faith

Ahh!!! No survivors!!!

I really hate this POS Dell. For Fuck's sake, people, give that whole common sense thing a try, will ya? I just lost it SHoP style here, in Benicia because of this shitty excuse of a "computer". Lucky for all you SHoPpers out there, it has been preserved in chat form for your reading pleasure.

It is my hope that high school students adapt this for use in Speech and Debate.

And that title? Gimme the movie, and I'll buy you a book of my choosing on Amazon.

---

JihadJimmyCDF (1:51:06 PM): and goddamit, why must IE freeze each time it can't find the search string on the page?
SixHertzWhenIPee is idle at 1:52:27 PM.
SixHertzWhenIPee (1:53:06 PM): IE is an evil bitch goddess
SixHertzWhenIPee is no longer idle at 1:53:35 PM.
JihadJimmyCDF (1:54:08 PM): THIS DELL IS A PIECE OF SHIT
SixHertzWhenIPee (1:54:25 PM): heheh
JihadJimmyCDF (1:55:49 PM): maybe it's on my xanga page
JihadJimmyCDF (1:55:59 PM): you remember that chat we had that i posted somewhere?
SixHertzWhenIPee (1:56:14 PM): mm..i think it was on your xanga page.
JihadJimmyCDF (1:56:27 PM): fucking POS xanga
JihadJimmyCDF (1:57:09 PM): oh shit, i just found it
JihadJimmyCDF (1:59:49 PM): AND FUCK YOU WINDOWS DID I TELL YOU TO HIGHLIGHT THAT EXTRA CHARACTER?
JihadJimmyCDF (2:00:17 PM): WTF is the point of having a mouse if your stupid system is just gonna highlight extra characters beyond where you click-and-drag?
SixHertzWhenIPee (2:00:42 PM): that's probably one of the best questions I've heard about the Windows interface I've ever heard.
JihadJimmyCDF (2:00:49 PM): if i wanted the period, I WOULD'VE HIGHLIGHTED PAST IT YOU STUPID MOTHERFUCKING FUCKTARDS
SixHertzWhenIPee (2:00:55 PM): you have a good damn point.
SixHertzWhenIPee (2:01:01 PM): LOL
JihadJimmyCDF (2:01:06 PM): have you heard that question before?
JihadJimmyCDF (2:01:16 PM): and relize your answer may lead to a *huge* jimmy rant
JihadJimmyCDF (2:01:23 PM): realize
SixHertzWhenIPee (2:01:57 PM): I don't think I've heard that question before.
SixHertzWhenIPee (2:02:01 PM): /me prepares for rant.
JihadJimmyCDF (2:02:08 PM): GOD FUCKING DAMMIT
SixHertzWhenIPee (2:02:12 PM): HAHAHAAHH
JihadJimmyCDF (2:02:17 PM): SON OF A GODDAM FUCK MY SHIT
JihadJimmyCDF (2:02:35 PM): (for those of you scoring this at home, notice the timestamps)
JihadJimmyCDF (2:04:22 PM): WHY THE SHIT HAVE YOU, A PC USER BORN-AND-BRED NEVER HEARD SUCH A SIMPLE QUESTION BEFORE
JihadJimmyCDF (2:04:23 PM): ?
JihadJimmyCDF (2:04:29 PM): (sorry, boss came back from lunch)
SixHertzWhenIPee is idle at 2:04:39 PM.
JihadJimmyCDF (2:04:40 PM): (confirmed that i have another green light to goof off. but need to clean my office)
JihadJimmyCDF (2:04:53 PM): DO YOU KNOW WHY YOU HAVE NEVER HEARD THAT QUESTION BEFORE?
JihadJimmyCDF (2:05:05 PM): BECAUSE IT'S LIKE I'VE TOLD ALL OF YOU WINTEL LEMMINGS TIME AND TIME AGAIN
JihadJimmyCDF (2:05:14 PM): FUCK, DON'T YOU THINK I'M TIRED OF TELL YOU ALL THIS????
JihadJimmyCDF (2:05:59 PM): shit like that is accepted as the norm because ASSHOLES in Redmond don't know SHIT about the Graphical GODDAM FUCKING USER INTERFACE
JihadJimmyCDF (2:06:27 PM): AND THEIR FUCKHEADED LOGIC IS THAT ENOUGH OF YOU DUMB ASSHOLES USE IT, IT'LL BECOME THE NORM OUT OF SHEER NUMBERS
JihadJimmyCDF (2:06:35 PM): HOLY FUCKING SHIT
SixHertzWhenIPee is no longer idle at 2:06:47 PM.
JihadJimmyCDF (2:06:50 PM): http://www.rhothetaphi.org/jimmy/hearts/HeartHFS.jpg
JihadJimmyCDF (2:07:08 PM): it's like the goddam word "peruse"
JihadJimmyCDF (2:07:21 PM): IT DOESN'T GODDAM MEAN "TO GLANCE QUICKLY"
JihadJimmyCDF (2:07:36 PM): OH BUT FUCK MY SHIT, IT SURE AS HELL DOES NOW
JihadJimmyCDF (2:07:39 PM): and you know why?
JihadJimmyCDF (2:07:47 PM): "oh please tell us, Tio Jaime"
SixHertzWhenIPee is idle at 2:07:50 PM.
JihadJimmyCDF (2:08:14 PM): Because Dickheads like you didn't bother to make sure your shit was squared away when you had the FUCKING chance
JihadJimmyCDF (2:08:15 PM): Jesus
JihadJimmyCDF (2:08:30 PM): WHAT A SHITTY GUI
JihadJimmyCDF (2:08:44 PM): FUCK YOU MICROSUCK
SixHertzWhenIPee is no longer idle at 2:08:49 PM.
JihadJimmyCDF (2:08:56 PM): OK
JihadJimmyCDF (2:09:01 PM): i think i'm better now
SixHertzWhenIPee (2:09:08 PM): really? :D
JihadJimmyCDF (2:09:16 PM): i just wanna take a nap
JihadJimmyCDF (2:09:36 PM): dude, i used Wordstar 2000 to write my college essays
JihadJimmyCDF (2:09:55 PM): on our old XT... 8088 4.77MHz of raw, unadulterated power
SixHertzWhenIPee is idle at 2:10:07 PM.
JihadJimmyCDF (2:10:17 PM): Wordstar was a white text on black background word processor
JihadJimmyCDF (2:10:33 PM): what we call highlighting nowadays was called "block operations" back then
SixHertzWhenIPee (2:10:43 PM): hehe
SixHertzWhenIPee is no longer idle at 2:10:51 PM.
JihadJimmyCDF (2:11:01 PM): CTRL-B to set the beginning of a block, CTRL-SHFT-B to set the end
JihadJimmyCDF (2:11:12 PM): and then I had to manuver the little cursor with the arrows
JihadJimmyCDF (2:11:29 PM): WHO THE FUCK DOES THAT NOWADAYS? NOBODY GODDAMIT BECAUSE WE HAVE MOUSES
JihadJimmyCDF (2:11:33 PM): MOUSES GODDAMIT
SixHertzWhenIPee is idle at 2:11:43 PM.
JihadJimmyCDF (2:11:46 PM): THE PLURAL ISN'T MICE IF YOU'RE TALKING ABOUT THE GODDAM PERIPHERALS
JihadJimmyCDF (2:12:14 PM): WHAT THE FUCK IS THE POINT OF MY GODDAM MOUSE IF I'M BETTER OFF USING MY SHITTY SHIFT KEY AND ARROWS AGAIN
JihadJimmyCDF (2:12:28 PM): OUT-FUCKING-STANDING
SixHertzWhenIPee (2:12:34 PM): HAHAHAH
SixHertzWhenIPee is no longer idle at 2:12:53 PM.
SixHertzWhenIPee is idle at 2:13:51 PM.
JihadJimmyCDF (2:13:59 PM): you like that "eye of the storm" shit there?
JihadJimmyCDF (2:14:53 PM): HFS that felt good

---

I'll have you know that I made a stack of hearts yesterday via the link on SixMeatBuffet. I had the foresight to make up all the hearts in my construction-mouthed vernacular, as you can see by the upload date/times. Proper Prior Planning Prevents Piss-Poor Performance

Please feel free to use these hearts at your convenience... http://www.rhothetaphi.org/jimmy/hearts (for some reason, the jpgs are case-sensitive)

Oh, it looks like I have a "God Damn" Heart... so here's the balance of the hearts...

All I Wanna Do

"All I wanna do is get a little sleep before midnight,"
Says Tio Jaime, out of nowhere.
He hasn't had his caffeine, he says he's Jihad Jimmy.
But I'm sure it's Jim, or Jimbo or James or Fucktard.

And he's plain tired to me,
And I wonder if he's ever gonna try to go and get some sleep tonight.
We are blogging early on a Tuesday
The SHoP is open late for all you junkies.

The good people of the world are sleeping soundly in their bedrooms,
Tossing and turning, trying to find that perfect spot.

'Trose! asks him a tricky question, about file sharing.
Jihad Jimmy doesn't have a clue where to go about looking.
But there's nothing like his Emily...

---

Ahhh...what the f*ck... :) - 23
OK I saw this one right as I was about to close Safari (mac browser, blows Microsuck IE out of the water.), and dammit, she mentions physics! I can't let this slide, not even until tomorrow...

IS UP WITH ALL THESE DUMB WOMEN WHO PRETEND TO LIKE PHYSICS??? No way in hell that you're all physics majors, and therefore no way in hell that you can fully appreciate a conversation about quantum physics with a man qualified to converse about it. What? Is it trendy? Is it the new "I want a man who can make me laugh?" Or is it just some marijuana reference that I'm just not getting even though I went to goddam Berkeley?

You know what's cooler than physics? Structural engineering. No really, it is. Here, don this bra and garter set and allow me to demonstrate.

If you genuinely were into physics then you should've been waiting outside of our 7A, 7B, and 7C classes in Le Conte Hall on MWF. Or were you too busy drinking and getting high to realize that the people who you could actually have mindsex with were in real lectures with real professors? That's what I thought.

Looking for a hot 25-hour long love session...bring peanutbutter - 24
umm, I really liked this ad.

Wow, I got somewhat aroused by reading that.

You had me at Texas. And again at peanut butter.

Assless chaps? And oooh, she pops it straight up in the infield! In Blue State San Fran-fucking-cisco? Shortstop is drifting over behind the bag... Good luck finding those on a straight man. Calls off the second baseman, and reels it in to end the inning. After 3 innings of play, it's the Los Angeles Gaylords Dodgers 2, the San Francisco Giants 5.

Happy End to Singles Awareness Day!!! - 19
Oh I'm sorry, is that what we're calling it now? Well allow me to retort:

WAR IS PEACE
FREEDOM IS SLAVERY
IGNORANCE IS STRENGTH

OK, so come tomorrow, you and the rest of the Attention Whores aren't gonna be depressed anymore? If you can be this easily manipulated by the media and that evil, evil corporate America, please step away from the voting booth. You are, unbeknownst to you, destroying the democratic process with your lack of cognitive abilities. You were undecided going into the party conventions, weren't you?

Looking for smart, fun, non-materialistic guy who can make me laugh - 29
Yay, a militant vegan! Don't be fooled by her "I'm vegan and, while you don't have to be" horseshit. The only thing worse than a moral, evangelizing vegan is a self-admitted "militant non-smoker." We can easily cross-apply that which I wrote about the smoker to the vegan...

Oh, a "militant non-smoker" great. Read: selfish nazi whore-beast who will think she knows more about everything than you could ever possibly hope to know in your pathetic, ambivalent-towards smoking life

Yeah, this vegan won't start crying when you're trying to enjoy that nice, juicy steak. Wake up, man! She gives you a URL to some "meat is murder" site, she mentions her vegan-ism later in the post!

And I've been waiting for this part of her ad... she complains, parenthetically:

(Do a search for "vegan" in the personals section, and you'll always find postings from people who require that someone *not* be vegan. Ridiculous. But I digress....)

THERE! WHAT MORE PROOF DO YOU NEED, YOU CHICKENFUCKERS!!! It's Ridiculous that somebody might not share your craziness???

Gentlemen, please take note: 1) What is "Ridiculous" today is "OMG, you're such a fucking bastard I hate you, go burn in hell you prick" tomorrow, and 2) what is indignation at "people who require that someone *not* be vegan" is smug satisfaction with "people who include No Republicans on their CL ads."

Jimmy-fucius say: Rriberarr confuse about mascurrinity end up poking horre in prophirractic, and voirra! You baby-daddy now! You send chirrd support! Better you run away to Middrre America, where chinese food suck cock and barrs, but women have varrues! Good strong famirry varrues! Stay away from flied lice in Crreverrand, OH!!! Ohio! 1 2 16 18 27 30

Jihad Jimmy, Chief Defender of the Faith

ps- posting at 1am?? I gots DSL now!

I Know What Boys Like... Boys Like...

Boys, like me

(we need that comma there, trust me on that one. not sure if you can tell, but it's been bolded)

This seems like a good point to make somewhat of an important revelation. What with Libertarian Girl being outed, and Witty Sex Kitten being questioned, and Hot Abercrombie Chick still in question (anybody to clarify HAC??), it is important that the SHoP make the following statement:

Despite my penchant for sexy female cartoon character quizzes, ducks, puppies, and female unkymoods icons, Tio Jaime (aka Jihad Jimmy, Chief Defender of the Faith) is, was, and will always be a Filipino, Catholic, Republican male.

I mean, really now, what's the big deal? So the female blogger you had a blog-crush on and quite possibly even blog-sturbated too wasn't really female? Totally and completely beside the point. Actually having consenual sex with these women is a figment of your imagination anyway, as chances are they're separated from you and your manhood by either the contintent of North America, a husband, or in extreme cases that pesky restraining order. If you're really up S Creek, a combination of one or more of those.

I was given the green light today to goof off. No S. "Sit tight while I find something for you to do," my boss said this morning before 8. It's now almost 5.

Here, some female bloggers on my own personal blogroll. Chicks or dudes? You Make the Call!

Witty Sex Kitten: The Twins
For some reason now I keep thinking about my ex, OCDs (see the comments on this post). Damn, they were huge. She said they were fluctuating up to 38D sometimes. But the cool thing was, I was, am, and will be for the foreseeable future a leg/butt guy. Boobies are nice, but I am not a boob-guy. For reference, check your Jimmy-history for the rest of my exes (and preferred independent contractors) and you'll see that bigger is not necessarily better.

OK any more doubt in anybody's minds that I'm not a chick? You can't fake this shit. That and you can't be a woman and in good conscience point out that certain women Can't Understand Normal Thinking (html tip: write out the end tags, add a space, highlight tags and space, copy, hit paste four times. If you end up with 5 sets of tags, you didn't follow my instructions correctly.)

Hot Abercrombie Chick: (it doesn't really matter does it?)
Believe it or not, I just like looking at the pictures. So yeah dude, if you're not a chick, but just want somebody to read your shit, make sure it's interesting shit, and not just a pic of some co-ed's cleavage. That gets old. Surprisingly.

Just a Girl in the World
No particular post to point you towards (towards which to point you), but 1) New skin, very hot (women would be surprised what a simple t-shirt and jeans will do for somebody from an all-boys school), 2) I've been somewhat gay for Gwen Stefani recently. And before you start in, it's because they've been playing her What You Waiting For? song at the strip clubs a lot. So there.

House of Snark
Again, no particular post, but she has cute hair. And apparently a husband. But nonetheless, I've always like the name Stacie/Stacey/Stacy. Do your jimmy-homework, because this is actually traced back to Heather Locklear's character on TJ Hooker. Oh duh, and she likes The Amazing Race...

Caltechgirl: Nerd Post Alert!
Who among us doesn't love NASCAR math jokes? And I really liked the second joke. But now that I think about it, yeah, the allure of this chick who is smart enough to go to Cal Tech but likes Tar Heel basketball? Wouldn't be so alluring if it was some dude.

Note-It Posts: Rant
Ooh, very hot when chicks swear. There's a Scott Adams (of Dilbert fame) book with a chapter that talks about when women swear. It's much more effective than when men swear. What would get your attention more, Tio Jaime yelling "nice job fuckhead" from his pickup truck while wearing his hard hat, or this cute housefrau lowering her power window, scowling at you and suggesting that you "go fuck yourself".

The housefrau. And you know you'd go punch the jesuit to her later. Don't lie.

Enough for now. I just spent over 10 hours in the office and all i did was submit a timecard for the past two weeks.

,
Jihad Jimmy, Chief Defender of the Faith

Yay for lonely and socially retarded San Franciscans!

You might think that it's somewhat hypocritical of me to make fun of people trying to find relationships whilst I have no relationship of my own, save me and my iPod Sookie (pics up, if you're crafty you can find them), me and my TiBook Emily, and me and my two trucks, Lorelai and 120035. I call him "35" for short...

Well, my response in a nutshell? Get Bent. There are desperate people out there (myself included, it appears), but only a fraction of those desperates post stupid things on craigslist. The non-desperates and the remainder of desperates get to laugh at these people and their posts. Sometimes, these posts are in SHoP form, for your convenience. Yay!

Oh and the fact that I'm using the word "desperate" to describe myself on Valentine's Day? Umm, yeah OK cheesedick, you need not read into that or analyze it anymore than is necessary. I'm always desperate. Even when I'm in a relationship. This is part of being a Type A personality. You haven't stumbled onto something new. Put your damn pants back on.

blue collar intellectual type - 31
Gimme a Fucking Break. Yet another Bay Aryan hippie who can't decide if she likes her men blue collar or blue state. Perhaps she's going for the whole "tortured artist who wants to follow his dream of dancing but is stuck as a welder" angle. Except she wants a dude, and not Jennifer Beals.

Do you own a baby grand piano?
I have a glockenspiel. Will that suffice? I'll let you wear the glock strap...

(Oh, and nice job kids on the cal percussion website. You have a pic of one of the glockenspiel players and a shitty picture of somebody holding and playing a glock from behind and to the side. And a glock by itself. Thanks for all the help, chickenfuckers)

Calling all Latter Day Anti-Valentines Day activists - 43
DO YOU SEE WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOU LET THE 60s HIPPIE CULTURE PERMEATE SOCIETY?!? Look, I don't have a date tonight, the last time I came close was four years ago when my GF at the time left a week before valentine's day. but I'm not mad, I'm not insanely bitter. Fuck, you crazy woman, get new parts for your head! Seriously, I CAN'T AFFORD TO WASTE PERFECTLY GOOD ANTI-HIPPIE RANT-AGE ON YOU AND YOUR STUPID CRAPPOLA!

See what you made me do? I had to pull out the all-caps because you applied your stupid hippie-ness to something as harmless as valentine's. If you're mad, just go home and punch the Jesuit.

Well, if you're a guy. Then self-abuse has a somewhat angry, semi-violent undertone. Think about it, "spank the monkey" and "flog the dolphin"? But I bet your favorite is now Punch the Jesuit. Yes, male masturbation is like football. Fun until somebody gets hurt.

But for you SHoPpettes out there...


(Hmm. Really should've closed with the puppies. Everybody loves puppies.)
(On a somewhat related note, I went to the Golden Gate Kennel Club Dog Show a few weekends back. Very cool. I want to get a dog. Or even my own dog who became my sister's dog in Santa Monica. Dog show was very red statey... you could see dogs named George, Rush, Dubya. Very cool.)

* * * ! ! ! SEEKING A WINGMAN FOR PICKING UP - 35
Dude, uncool. He strikes me as the kind of guy who has no concept of personal space. Which is somewhat cool if he's a cute little irish/italian stripper wearing boyshorts (and caveat, this isn't always good. Sometimes they have doggy-breath... yuck), but he's not. He'll probably playfully touch you. Guy on guy. Which is even only marginally acceptable if you're really good friends. But some potentially lonely gay guy stuck in his closet that you met on CL or on Tio Jaime's mirror? That's not good. No sir.

Ya damn dummy, you...

Well shit, now that I'm sufficiently off-topic...

53" Sony Big Screen tv television (not working) (san jose south)
Waterlogged, eh? I don't even want to ask. Why the fuck would-- no, I don't wanna know.

OK enough blogging for now. Must e-mail people. Yes, some of them are girls. No, it's not for work.

Happy Mon-dee!
Tio Jaime, Chief Defender of the Faith

Hi! We're San Franciscans! We're tolerant of homosexuality, bestiality, necrophelia, white-bashing, man-bashing, and Catholic-bashing!

... but God forbid we allow a sense of humor to pervade this our fucked-up hippie Utopia!

OH SHIT I SAID "GOD" HERE COME THE THOUGHT POLICE TO TAKE ME AWAY FOR RE-EDUCA--

***MESSAGE FROM MINITRUE***
The Ministry of Truth regrets to inform you that the webpage you were trying to view has been deemed unsuitable for general consumption. Please be aware in accordance with relevant UESC civil code(s) 10024.22384 Sect. A Subsect(s). 500K13.5T.J417735 corresponding authorities at the Ministry of Love have been notified of your transgression and will arrive shortly to rectify the situation. Have a nice day, chickenfucker.
***END MESSAGE***

***JUMP PAD ACTIVATION INITIATION START***
***TRANSPORT WHEN READY***

Well, I received this message from some jackbooted thugs over at craigslist.

Date: 12 Feb 2005 03:42:47 -0000

From: "craigslist" <editor@craigslist.org> Add to Address Book

To: jimmy_j@yahooJOHNKERRYCANEATMYSPAM.com

Subject: flagged & removed: 59397878 (women seeking men) Re: 40 Microbiologists Killed URGENT PLS READ


Your posting has been removed by the craigslist community.
Several craigslist readers flagged it for the following reasons:

SPAM: posting appears to have been posted too frequently, OR in too many categories, OR is being regarded as commercial spam. To advertise a business or service, please post under "services offered"

MISCATEGORIZED: posting appears to be in the wrong category

DISCUSSION: posting appears to be discussing a previous posting

The flagging system is a work-in-progress, with all the pros and cons of a democracy - Please post suggestions for improvement in the feedback forum:

http://forums.craigslist.org/?forumID=8

After reviewing your posting and our policies, if you are convinced that
those flagging your post were mistaken, please feel free to repost.

Sorry for the hassle! and thanks for your understanding.

Chickenfuckers. Good thing I had the ads mirrored. See below.

Jihad Jimmy, Chief Defender of the Faith

No problemo.

So I was combing CL again looking for some SHoP fodder... when I found this. It is a true and sincere cry for help in this lonely city, surrounded by millions of faceless Bay Aryans. I choked back tears as I crafted my tender yet authoritative response...

40 Microbiologists Killed: Something Fishy Going On? - 27
Re: 40 Microbiologists Killed URGENT PLS READ - 27

rhothetaphi.org mirrors:
40 Microbiologists Killed: Something Fishy Going On? - 27
Re: 40 Microbiologists Killed URGENT PLS READ - 27

I hope she's alright.

Jihad Jimmy, Chief Defender of the Faith

Baby Boomers: Eat me

For you regulars here at the SHoP, you know my disdain for Baby Boomers and my belief that a great many of them are self-important morons who don't come close to the merits and potential of The Greatest Generation and Gen X'ers, respectively. They are the generation of the Hippie, Sexual Revolution, Anti-War era, and Instant Gratification. Well, I got this email recently which kind of pissed me off, when I realized something--

TO THE KIDS WHO SURVIVED the 40's, 50's, 60's and 70's.......

First, we survived being born to mothers who smoked and/or drank while they carried us. They took aspirin, ate blue cheese dressing and didn't get tested for diabetes. Then after that trauma, our baby cribs were covered with bright colored lead-based paints. We had no childproof lids on medicine bottles, doors or cabinets and when we rode our bikes, we had no helmets, not to mention, the risks we took hitchhiking.

As children, we would ride in cars with no seat belts or air bags. Riding in the back of a pick up on a warm day was always a special treat. W e drank water from the garden hose and NOT from a bottle.

We shared one soft drink with four friends, from one bottle and NO ONE actually died from this. We ate cupcakes, bread and butter and drank soda pop with sugar in it, but we weren't overweight because WE WERE ALWAYS OUTSIDE PLAYING!

We would leave home in the morning and play all day, as long as we were back when the streetlights came on. No one was able to reach us all day. And we were O.K.

We would spend hours building our go-carts out of scraps and then ride down the hill, only to find out we forgot the brakes. After running into the bushes a few times, we learned to solve the problem.

We did not have Playstations, Nintendo's, X-boxes, no video games at all, no 99 channels on cable, no video tape movies, no surround sound, no cell phones, no personal computers, no internet or internet chat rooms..........WE HAD FRIENDS and we went outside and found them!

We fell out of trees, got cut, broke bones and teeth and there were no lawsuits from these accidents. We made up games with sticks and tennis balls and ate worms and although we were told it would happen, we did not put out very many eyes, nor did the worms live in us forever.

We rode bikes or walked to a friend's house and knocked on the door or rang the bell, or just walked in and talked to them!

Little league had tryouts and not everyone made the team. Those who didn't had to learn to deal with disappointment. Imagine that!!

The idea of a parent bailing us out if we broke the law was unheard of. They actually sided with the law!

This generation has produced some of the best risk-takers, problem solvers and inventors ever!

The past 50 years have been an explosion of innovation and new ideas. We had freedom, failure, success and responsibility, and we learned HOW TO DEAL WITH IT ALL!

And YOU are one of them! CONGRATULATIONS! Please pass this on to others who have had the luck to grow up as kids. Kind of makes you want to run through the house with scissors, doesn't it?! (Did that, too.)

Besides the fact that it seemed really arrogant for some Baby Boomer to write this up, I realized it had some merit...but if those times were so good for the Baby Boomers, then why the hell didn't they do the same for us Gen X'ers when they were the parents? Excuse me! Doesn't this write-up kinda say that IT'S THEIR FAULT for creating the differences between then and now?

It is the Baby Boomer generation who got paranoid about lead-based paint, anti-bacterial soap, and childproof homes, then drugged up their kids on ritalin and then themselves on Viagra and Cialis.

It is the Baby Boomer generation who forgot that to be parents, they have to stop being their kids' friends.

It is the Baby Boomer generation who started kidnapping children in broad daylight outside of other parents' homes, created Cable TV, video games, and SUV's with LCD TV's in the back to further mentally medicate their children.

It is the Baby Boomer generation who became paranoid about their children in little league, and getting into fights with other childrens' parents just because they were on different teams, setting great examples by which to live.

It is the Baby Boomer generation who grew up to become lawyers and sue-happy, bankrupting doctors, and eventually horde social security.

If you are one of those, thanks a lot. It's my generation's responsibility to fix the crap that you left us. Hopefully, we can do the job.

Retards! All of you!

Is this some kind of sick joke?

Found this beautiful gem from Wizbang...

Keyboard Alert

The irony of the "Bush is a drunkencocaineusingassholewhostartedawarforoil" crowd making that statement is so incredible, it speaks for itself.

You know, instead of running around with your friends writing letters to to the President about how "Oww, my pussy hurts. Please stop calling me names," perhaps you should consider finding another job where your feelings are not likely to be hurt.

Oh wait, even funnier. He didn't sign the letter himself. He let his jagoff party-mates do it for him. Not sure if this is Sloth, a lack of backbone, or the highly-unlikely foresight to distance yourself from your fellow Democruds. Dun't really matter. This post is still fun to write and hopefully fun for you to read.

Cock. Balls.

Reid was named to succeed the defeated Tom Daschle as party leader in December and quickly was attacked as an obstructionist by Republican National Committee. The National Republican Senatorial Committee issued a summary of his early tenure entitled "Forty days and forty nights of partisanship."

The RNC distributed a 13-page compilation of criticisms, dissecting Reid's voting record and accusing him of obstructing Bush's agenda over the years.

Whoa whoa whoa. Right there, spinach chin. You're pissed because we brought up a Democrud's voting record?

Seriously now, you don't appreciate our ad hominem attacks so we allow you to have a monopoly on that department? OK, we can live with that. You don't appreciate our legitimate attempts to oust a perjurer out of office so you make it look like an ad hominem attack (liberal media? never heard of it!)? Confusing and illogical and self-contradictory, yes, but we expect that from you.

And now you balk at us talking about voting histories? WTF are we supposed to talk about then? Your fucking shoes? Your stupid haircuts? Your cocks getting smaller while you sit on the truck? Gimme a fucking break!

Allow me to put this in non-vulgar terms you may understand a bit more easily. While visiting Pac Bell SBC Park in lovely San Fran-fucking-cisco (shit, sorry. that non-vulgar thing didn't even last 20 words), the Los Angeles Gaylords Dodgers ask Giants ace Jason Schmidt to stop throwing sliders, because they're sneaky and dive out of the strike zone at the last second. "OK," says Schmidtty, wishing to comply to the fiat that is this essential to this analogy. After a few innings of getting burned by his mid-90s heat, they say, "Oww, our pussies hurt. Can you only throw your change-up from now on?" Oh, and all the while? They've managed to produce eight clones of that gawky bitch-boy Eric Gagne, one for each inning.



Sound stupid? I hope so... If not, come meet me at the SF Giants Fan-fest this weekend. And wear your dodgers jersey so I know it's you...

Bye Bye Baby,
Jihad Jimmy, Chief Defender of the Faith

Wow, that was fast...

It was only a matter of time before the Iraqis and their newly discovered democracy 1-upped the US of A with some old-skool American common sense. Which kinda died with the 60s, but that's another post...

Iraq to Close Borders Next Week to Thwart Attacks

Oh. So you mean they're not going to have an amnesty program for people crossing their borders illegally?

Hey! I have an idea! Not to seem like a copycat or anything like that, but why don't we close our borders? Or if you want, we can wait out Iraq's krazy krazy experiment and see if that does anything to blow our skirts up.

Yeah. Let's just wait. See if national security is affected by efficient border control and stringent immigration policy. OMG, wouldn't that be funny if the wacky iraqis figured it out before we did?

Jihad Jimmy, Chief Defender of the Faith

GFY Thursday corollary

SixHertz is idle at 11:07:42 AM.
Tio Jaime (11:07:46 AM): *excellent* post
SixHertz (11:10:34 AM): why, thank you.
SixHertz is no longer idle at 11:11:02 AM.
SixHertz is idle at 11:11:37 AM.
SixHertz (11:12:41 AM): love the comment. :D
Tio Jaime (11:13:03 AM): i just wanna see you drop trou and squeeze one out on her desk
SixHertz is no longer idle at 11:13:04 AM.
Tio Jaime (11:13:06 AM): #2, not #3
SixHertz (11:13:10 AM): hahahah
SixHertz (11:13:23 AM): i figured you'd hold me up to that, too.
Tio Jaime (11:13:46 AM): i'm sure we could loophole out of it... or at least photoshop out of it
SixHertz (11:14:05 AM): hahaha, sounds good.
SixHertz (11:14:14 AM): 'cause I think that'd be a felony of some sort.
Tio Jaime (11:14:14 AM): shit, at the very least we can get a brass placard, engrave it with Nancy Pelosuck, and stick it on my toilet
SixHertz (11:14:25 AM): hahah
Tio Jaime (11:14:46 AM): hey, if you wanna get me a gift, there you go... just go to Things Remembered, find a cheap toilet placard
SixHertz (11:15:01 AM): hahahah
Tio Jaime (11:15:06 AM): "umm, hi. i'm looking for a gift for a friend. he wants a toilet placard"
SixHertz (11:15:11 AM): lol
SixHertz is idle at 11:16:11 AM.
SixHertz is no longer idle at 11:17:08 AM.
Tio Jaime (11:18:02 AM): i'm posting this
SixHertz (11:19:00 AM): you go, girl.
SixHertz (11:19:02 AM): ;)
Tio Jaime (11:19:35 AM): Shit, these are some pretty nice name plates...
Tio Jaime (11:20:27 AM): I want one that says "James [UPDATE date="20040627"]D******[UPDATE], EIT / Chief Defender of the Faith"

GFY Thursday: Kim Jong Il

Okay, you short ugly biatch. Your ass is on notice.

Oh, and by the way, the first democrud who stands up today to criticize the failure of 6-nation talks, and instead, advocating that there should have only been unilateral talks between the US and NK, is going to get my wrath on the next GFY day. I'm waiting for that one (FYI, Clinton tried unilateral talks with North Korea and failed miserably). And if Nancy Pelosuck says it, I swear to god, I'll drive to her office in San Francisco and take a big, giant crap on her desk. Just you wait.

So, Mr. Ronerey, what about nuclear weapons don't you understand? I can almost guarantee the United States is going to nuke any 'axis of evil' country if it gets hit by a nuke. Screw apologist moonbats. Goodbye Iran. Goodbye North Korea. In fact, why not do it now? Let's stage a "nuclear accident" in North Korea. I can just see it now: OOPS! Did'm wittle pwootonium wod bwohwed up? Awww, po' wittle kohweeans. Maybe your great communist experiment should have concentrated on feeding its people first. Nice priorities, there. Any A.N.S.W.E.R. member want to tell me why you look up to this freak? I'm all ears...and one, big, fat middle finger.

Thurs-dee!

A quiz or two or three... got this first one from Miss O'Hara's xanga site

You scored as Draco Malfoy. Spoilt and proud, you place high value on the purity of wizard blood and look set to follow in your father's somewhat shady footsteps. Sirius Black 85% Draco Malfoy 85% Ginny Weasley 75% Harry Potter 70% Severus Snape 70% Hermione Granger 70% Ron Weasley 65% Remus Lupin 50% Albus Dumbledore 50% Lord Voldemort 20% Your Harry Potter Alter Ego Is...? created with QuizFarm.com

I'm not sure about this one here. First because that Draco Malfoy is a gay little prick. I'm a straight big prick. Second, I distinctly answered the question about muggle parents in the tolerant, progressive way. Yay for progressives!

And I have the same matching percentage for Sirius Black anyway... let's not think about this too much.

You scored as Normal, Boring and Gay. Its not bad that you are this way, but couldn’t you do a little bit more with your hair? Perhaps maybe zush your shirt? The only thing that makes you interesting is you like men, but even then… do you really? Normal, Boring and Gay 40% A MetroHomoSexual 40% A Jock 35% A Closet Case 30% An AberHollisterAE Gay or Fratmo 10% What Kind of Gay Man Are You? created with QuizFarm.com

OK, now I'm really confused. About these quizzes, not my sexuality. How did I score enough to qualify for metrohomosexual?!? I don't like metrosexuals. How many metrosexuals do you know that are comfortable w/icky things like dipping? Let's keep going, hopefully find a quiz with scantily clad women. In boyshorts, if we're lucky...

You scored as Sloth. Sloth 75% Wrath 69% Lust 69% Gluttony 69% Pride 63% Greed 38% Envy 31% Seven deadly sins created with QuizFarm.com

Wow. Very surprised. Thought I was gonna get Gluttony until the Lust questions came up. But then on the inside rail, it's Sloth! Sloth is making his move! And in the final stretch, it's Sloth by 6 lengths!

4 Sloth 74.00 14.00 8.60
9 Lust 3.30 2.60
6 Gluttony 6.10

$2 Ex 4-9 $139.00
$2 Tri 4-9-6 $1,589.00
$2 Super 4-9-6-8 $11,679.00
$2 DD 5-4) $526.00
$2 Pk3 3-5-4 $2,910.00
$2 Pk4 1-3-5-4 $7,309.00
$2 Pk6 4-3-1-3-5-4 $47,421.00

You scored as Hermione Granger. Yup, you are an insufferable know it all! However, you do manage to get people out of tight places every time. ps. watch out for mysterious purple hexes! Hermione Granger 75% Fred/George Weasley 63% Luna Lovegood 56% Harry Potter 50% Ginny Weasley 50% Draco Malfoy 44% Neville Longbottom 44% Ron Weasley 44% Who is your Harry Potter Soulmate? created with QuizFarm.com

Ooh yeah baby. Emma Watson, mmmm... toasty! On a related underage-actress note, try to find the SNL sketch with Lindsay Lohan as a post-pubescent Hermione Granger...

The Jokes Stop Now,
Jihad Jimmy, Chief Defender of the Faith

OK. I know what this looks like... it's not, trust me

I couldn't resist this quiz which i found on the House of Snark...


Bettie Boop


Who 's Your Inner Sexy Cartoon Chick ?
brought to you by Quizilla

If it'll make you feel better, i'll change my unkymood back to a dude. Still not a gay, still like chicks. Unfortunately, many of the chicks i like tend to have daughters and/or husbands.

Jihad Jimmy, Chief Defender of the Faith

But Tio Jaime, I thought WAR IS NOT AN OPTION?

That's probably because, Little One, you've again made the mistake of listening to your friendly, neighborhood Bay Aryans.

War most certainly is an option. The very last option. Which means it should only be exercised when all other viable options have been thoroughly exhausted.

I've taken the liberty of preparing a response in Garfield-bookmark-form for all you SHoPpers out there.

Economic sanctions didn't work and weren't working and wouldn't have worked in the future. UN resolutions didn't work and weren't working and wouldn't have worked in the future. An allied military presence didn't work and wasn't working and wouldn't have worked in the future. You tell me, LIbEralS, what should we have done?

W could have pulled a Clinton and ignored the problem until somebody else came along and was handed a virtual timebomb. (And as an aside, once you ignore the democrud/media lies and distortions and misdirections and deceptions, you'll see that W plans to do the same thing to Social Security too. Fix it now while it's not anally hemmorhaging right before our eyes.)

It's a Good Thing we went to war when we did. The only reason I can think of for not going to war and waiting for something to necessitate it (umm, yeah like 9/11 wasn't enough) is to see the satisfying irony of the unavoidable ensuing war bolstered by the now-unavoidable draft of all these stupid little junior high "51% IS NOT A MANDATE" kids. Oh that would be sweet if we as a country were stupid enough to elect Hilliary or really any Democrud of your choosing and they were forced to institute a draft because of poorly executed foreign policy and the highly likely exodus of armed servicemen because who wants that C.U.N.T. as a Commander-in-Chief? Shit, I'd enlist just so I could leave in protest.

No, I'm just kidding. I would have the cojones to follow through with my commitments, despite my maladjusted political leanings.

And the link above reminds me of sweet, sweet San Diego. It kinda ties it all in with what appears to be the original point of this post.

A couple of days ago, on my way home from work I saw a pickup truck with this Protest Warrior sticker...

I'll admit my first instinct was to throw something at the truck because the design of the sticker really lends itself to misinterpretation. Not that I'm trying to take a dump on what PW is trying to do, oh heck no! I just read his recap of the inaugural protests, and to put your body and safety and well-being on the line against the Left? That is exactly the medicine which needs to be doled out in liberal doses to the hippies!

Unfortunately the Bay Aryans outnumber me probably 4 or 5 to 1. I don't have strength in numbers, so I must operate in a guerilla manner. I'm all about plausible deniability, as are you. You all like to see the dirty fight taken to the hippies, even if you don't consciously acknowledge it. Even the most principled of you like it when you read about me civilly disobeying. And that's good enough for me. Just so long as part of you sees the value in my work, you can disavow of whatever you want, whenever you want, and on-whichever-record you want.

But yeah, war? Only option. What would you have done, hippie?

Get Some,
Jihad Jimmy, Chief Defender of the Faith

GFMe Tuesday: Special Mardi Gras Edition of Tio Jaime Gone Wild, Benicia-style!

I'll let you figure out what GFMe means. Three guesses, the last two don't count.

So this whole Mardi Gras thing? La la la. Here's where I'm supposed to make a smooth transition into my opinions, but nothing seems to be materializing. I'd really like to tie this all in with a broad, grand generalization, but shit on me: I'm drawing a huge blank. In fact, the only idea I have for this post is building up the huge non sequitor I'm about to try to unload on you.

Right here, I would normally put a cutesy one liner, chances are without cussing.

Now that we got that out of the way, just a few more sentences and we can end this paragraph and then get to the real meat of this post: what bugs me about Mardi Gras. Rather, what bugs me about Mardi Gras in its present configuration. I wonder just how many of my rants started out like this...

1) Beads, beads, and an assload of beads
The unnecessary proliferation of MG beads (heh, proliferation has "pro life" in it) has become quite annoying. I'm just glad that Thunder Stix didn't become this popular. People are wearing beads for just about anything nowadays, not just MG. Orange and black beads can be seen on many a person at Giants games.

Unfortunately, they're seen on people (and not just women) who you don't really want flashing you. I guess I'm just strangely old fashioned. I think if you're gonna wear the beads, you should have shown your boobs a/o be willing to show them to me. Yes, right here in View Reserved. No, you have time, the batter hasn't stepped in the box yet. Go Giants.

2) Mardi Gras, Ash Wednesday
If you're reading this, you're probably smart enough to know the origins and justification for MG.

If not, because you probably found this blog by yahoo searching for "Whores wearing boyshorts", Welcome! Mardi Gras is just the day for indulging yourself in the SHoP, your one-stop outlet for all things boyshorts! But this explanation is for you once you've satiated your boyshorts hankerings.

So that whole Catholicism thing? Yeah. There's that Jesus-dude. He was both God and Man. He came down to chill with us, but then his Father said, "Yo, whattup. You gotta sacrifice yourself for these fucktards." (Mark 14:75-80) Which Jesus did. For us fucktards. On a Friday. And Good thing too, because three days later he rose from the dead. On a Sunday. Then Jesus ate chocolate bunnies and painted eggs (Matthew 29:10-14). Easter eggs.

Which is why we do that today to commemorate Jesus taking the plunge for us fucktards. But in the forty day period before Easter Sunday (not counting Sundays), we have a period of preparation and penance and introspection and not eating meat on Fridays and fasting sometimes. This is Lent.

Think Ramadan, only we don't go strapping explosives to ourselves and blowing up Jews.

On Debauchery
Lent starts on Ash Wednesday, which is tomorrow. No meat, and technically if you're over 12(?) no eating either. One meager meal, but that's it muchacho. So the point of Mardi Gras-- French for "Fat Tuesday"-- is that you indulge the day before extreme self-flagellation. This is why today is today. And why it keeps changing year after year. And why I'm not really looking forward to tomorrow.

Spoke to a friend last night, who is in New Orleans for the drunken festivities. She said, "I've been eating so bad since i got here." I told her, that's good. That's the point. I'm having a big damn steak tonight. You can start up your diet again on Wednesday, I suggested to her. And really, that is the point of the day set aside for the debauchery.

Vicetivus (which has been likened to a mini-mardigras) is also a special day set aside for vice and bad bad things. When celebrating vicetivus, please do not order a salad. This is one of the pussiest things you could possibly do. Seriously nancy-pants, wait until Saturday the 14th. But for once, try to ignore your conscience on Friday the 13th. In Vegas. Talk about missing the point.

On Sacrifice
A Catholic tradition is that you "give something up" for Lent. This could be candy, meat, self-abuse... all sorts of things that are bad for you. What you give up is your business, and can be shared at your discretion. And here's the part where I get annoyed...

Please don't recommend things that I could give up for Lent. Lent is about self-improvement. It's between you and God. Contrary to popular belief, it is not "that time of year where James's friends get to give (unwarranted) suggestions about the State of the Jaime". Especially if you're not Catholic and therefore (possibly) don't observe Easter and therefore don't observe Lent and therefore don't observe Ash Wednesday but somehow you mysteriously observe Mardi Gras. As soon as you have Lenten sacrifice under your belt (and this should include attending Mass weekly) then and only then will your judgment on me and mine be seriously considered.

3) Separation of Church and State, at your convenience
All you fucktard college students from your liberal northeastern commie reeducation camps? Yes, you, the same ones who didn't vote for George Bush because he represents the Bible Belt and Christianity. Fuck you and your hypocrisy. You push for a secular America yet here you are drunk on Mardi Gras and there you'll be drunk on St. Patrick's day and drunk on Halloween. You'll probably celebrate St. Valentine's Day and Christmas too, but not to the whoreish, debaucherrific extent.

Think before you open your mouths next time to bash Western Civilization and Christianity.

Show us your tits,
Jihad Jimmy, Chief Defender of the Faith

UPDATE: Retarded Craigslist Golddigger!

Oh most glorious, glorious day!!!

Back around the election, I posted this, which talked about dumbtard women posting on CL. I was upset to find that the aircraft chick's post had expired before people really got a chance to read it.

But lo and behold, she's back!!! And this time, I'm hosting her CL ad well after it is taken off the CL servers.

Did I mention oh most glorious glorious day?

I'm ALL YOURS, as long as you have an AIRCRAFT - 30
Go read the original comments here. Everything still applies. Like the smoking nazi stuff.

Pic of me:

Play it as it lies!

My aircraft:

from EHOWA. Cute USAF captain at the bottom. Damn, I think the cute air force captain i met up in Seattle flew A-10s out of NAS Whidbey Island? it was some officer exchange program. very hawt

SixHertz House of Naughty Chat

iNude = Tio Jaime. Fully clothed, not gay.
NudeCraft = SixHertz. Most likely fully clothed. Not gay.

NudeCraft (2:43:09 PM): /me warcraftin'
iNude (2:43:19 PM): ooh, craft on
NudeCraft (2:43:21 PM): with lynn
NudeCraft (2:43:28 PM): he's here in SD
iNude (2:43:33 PM): are you two nude? because that would be gay
NudeCraft (2:43:38 PM): plane leaves in 2 hours, and we're playing
NudeCraft (2:44:07 PM): we were when we were thinking of you
iNude (2:44:29 PM): OK see, and stuff like this makes blogs...
NudeCraft (2:44:45 PM): LOL
iNude (2:44:52 PM): standby

There's always gonna be a bit of lag between the timestamp and posting because I have to be able to edit screennames and html tags in Microsuck Word.

Tio Jaime, Chief Defender of the Faith

Chatting at work? Yes. Blogging at work? Yes. Working at work? Eventually...

JihadJimmy = Chief Defender of the Faith. Not Gay.
DntAskDntTell = SixHertz. Not Gay.

JihadJimmy (1:51:24 PM): yo
JihadJimmy (1:53:30 PM): i'm GAY. gay for YOU.
DntAskDntTell is away at 1:53:34 PM.
JihadJimmy (1:53:46 PM): oh shit, can that get you thrown out of the navy?
Auto response from DntAskDntTell (1:53:46 PM): I am currently away from the computer.
JihadJimmy (1:54:01 PM): because i'm willing to sign a deposition saying i was just fucking around
DntAskDntTell returned at 1:54:06 PM.
DntAskDntTell (1:54:17 PM): hehe

Again, we're not gay. Nor are we afraid of gay people. But gay people are a great source of entertainment. As are many other kinds of people. But none are so politically charged as our homosexual brethren. (and sistren. and androgen.)

---

I'm learning this html shit as we go along. Please to be bearing with me.

JihadJimmy = The Notorious J.A.M.E.S.
ProfScottShewseffi = civil engineering friend of mine from school, currently works for LA DWP(?)

JihadJimmy (1:51:18 PM): just the krazy asian i was looking for
ProfScottShewseffi (1:52:44 PM): yo mam
JihadJimmy (1:52:59 PM): gots a question for you about my speakers
JihadJimmy (1:53:01 PM): nigga
ProfScottShewseffi (1:53:28 PM): yes sir
JihadJimmy (1:54:34 PM): recently replaced the toyota factory 6x8 paper shitty speakers with some sonys from best buy
ProfScottShewseffi (1:54:45 PM): OH YEA
JihadJimmy (1:54:50 PM): OH YEAH
JihadJimmy (1:54:56 PM): sounds waaay better
ProfScottShewseffi (1:54:58 PM): how do they sound?
ProfScottShewseffi (1:54:59 PM): ok
JihadJimmy (1:54:59 PM): good shit
ProfScottShewseffi (1:55:01 PM): nice
JihadJimmy (1:55:36 PM): well, @ normal volumes, just a slightly noticable change, but when you crank that shit up, there's no distortion like on teh stock speakers
JihadJimmy (1:55:43 PM): anycrap
ProfScottShewseffi (1:55:55 PM): nice
JihadJimmy (1:56:16 PM): my truck came w/factory installed tweeters... but should i disconnect them now that I have these regular sony speakers?
ProfScottShewseffi (1:56:28 PM): do the sony speakers have built in tweeters?
JihadJimmy (1:56:32 PM): yeah
ProfScottShewseffi (1:56:40 PM): then disconnect the factory ones
JihadJimmy (1:56:43 PM): or will i even notice the difference?
ProfScottShewseffi (1:56:44 PM): unless you like lots of highs
ProfScottShewseffi (1:56:46 PM): not really
JihadJimmy (1:57:19 PM): i guess i'm just trying to weigh the inconvenience of taking off my door panel again versus the potential suckitude of sound by keeping the tweeter in place
ProfScottShewseffi (1:57:42 PM): well if you are too lazy
ProfScottShewseffi (1:57:45 PM): you should just ignore it
JihadJimmy (1:57:50 PM): yeah. i'm a lazy-ass.
ProfScottShewseffi (1:57:51 PM): more speakers are better than none
JihadJimmy (1:58:06 PM): kind of like [RACIAL MINORITIES], huh
ProfScottShewseffi (1:58:16 PM): yes sir kind of like them [CORRESPONDING RACIAL SLURS]
JihadJimmy (1:58:21 PM): the more the mer-- OK please disregard that
ProfScottShewseffi (1:58:30 PM): HHAHAH

Hmm, I'd like to quickly point out that I wasn't the one who used the slur first. May have been thinking it, but didn't use it. just so you know, me and ProfScottShewseffi are simple minorities trying to survive in the white man's hostile world. as such, we are incapable of racism. Ha ha, take that all you [RACIAL SLURS], [RACIAL SLURS], [RACIAL SLURS], [RACIAL SLURS], and most of all you dumb [RACIAL SLURS]. Go back to where you came from.

Oops. Go back to from where you came. No speeky engrish! You want flied lice? You go Chinese restaurant next to strip crub!

OK enough of the racial invectives. But first let me say that the Vietnamese cut an amazing head of hair for $6 in under 5 minutes. Don't give me any of that "OMG! Tio Jaime you are so prejudice (sic)!" crap. Simple statement of easily demonstrable fact. But don't take my word for it. Come with me to east San Jose and see for yourself. (think "Reading Rainbow")

Tio Jaime, Chief Defender of the Faith

Going shopping! (regular shopping, not SHoPping)

not sure why MLB is e-mailing this to their fans, but suffice it to say that I was surprised to find this promotional e-mail in my inbox.

Hmm, Ok more stuff to buy. Have you ever wanted your very own Japanese baseball fan? Go M's!

This is nice. Does it perhaps come with a curvy SF giants fan?

"These run small, order one size larger than normal." OK and now I'm thinking about women wearing form-fitting SF Giants boyshorts. This is hawt. If you are reading this and would like to watch baseball games together while you are underwear-clad, please let me know so i can get the pistachios and the hot dogs ready. Oh, and please be a woman.

Holy shit. Gonna put this post on hold while I buy this. Standby

**********

Oh rad. I just bought a dope-assed Mariners jacket!

Which would be hot when worn solely in conjunction with this. Oh, on a chick. Not on me. That's an abomination.

Umm, yeah. Because mariner fans love navy pinstripes.

$7.97 for a mike cameron t-shirt??? buy some garlic fries instead. Your child will not end up hating you.

Oh, hello dere! I'm moving back to seattle for baseball season.

Go Giants/M's,
Jihad Jimmy, Chief Defender of the Faith

Door. Ass. Out.

Allow me to help you with your bags.

Unkymoods, potential lesbians. Just another day in the Paradise that is Benicia, CA. Yay.

Heh. I like how on the map, San Jose, Oakland, and even Suck-ramento are there, but not San Fran-fucking-cisco. Ha ha.

And this'll tie in to the City, lemme just stop for a second and see which way I want to verbally lead you.

OK. So despite having the same unkymood this morning, SixH and I are not gay for each other. I think we were just both in the Super Bowlin' mood. I wore my Mariners jersey to my party of choice, as they had just about as good a chance of making the Super Bowl as our beloved Niners did.

So what to do about the identical unkymoods? I changed my profile to Female again, thereby accessing the female variations. I'm still not a gay, for those of you scoring the game at home. And then I changed my mood to the ever-popular Chillin'.

But I wanted to see what the Sporty icon was for the Other Half first. It's some happy face that's boxing. Doesn't have a bow in her hair, but has cute pigtails. Kinda like MacKenzie over at the Cabaret.

I was hoping the icon would've been something like field hockey or lacrosse related. Because those chicks are quite tasty. We didn't have those at my all-boys high school, unfortunately.

But one of our rivals up in san francisco did. They turned co-ed four years before I started HS, so by the time I was graduating, they were fully co-ed. Point is, infrequent SHoPper Trosama min Asi went to this high school, and he had a friend Robb who had a younger sister who played lacrosse for this school.

I met this younger sister this year at Big Game after we tore Leland Stanfurd JUNIOR University a brand new, gaping asshole. Her apartment is right above the stadium. Oh my, is she HAWT. Unfortunately, she may derive just as much enjoyment from the Zoo where MacKenzie works as the boys and I would.

Lacrosse player for a high school in San Francisco? What a waste, as I fear she may have a case of the gay.

Which I have no problem with, I'd like to point out again. Consenting adults should be allowed to do whatever they want with whomever they want in the privacy of their own bedrooms.

Actually, I have two problems with the cute probably-lesbian who played lacrosse for Cal. (Lesbians? In Berkeley? Mooooo...) 1) Yet another school spirited Golden Bear who will not have the sex with me, and 2) After seeing this lesbian, I would totally start taking pitches from the other side of the plate if I was a straight woman contemplating switch-hitting or even just batting lefty from here on in (read: attractive and charming lesbian additionally decreases tio jaime's dating pool by reducing the number of heterosexual females).

Perhaps it would be best if I stopped chasing women that are unreasonably young, unreasonably old, unreasonably flaky, unreasonably nuts, or unreasonably lesbian.

You complete me,
Jihad Jimmy, Chief Defender of the Faith

Talk about a Million Dollar Depression

Saw Million Dollar Baby last night. Wow. Talk about your outstanding movie. And talk about the ultimate double-whammy and pull-the-rug-out-from-under-you feeling you get when you see it. And not just that, but they keep on driving those nails in, just to be sure. Be forewarned, the character development in this movie is absolutely brilliant, and you will get attached to the characters. Just be sure you go see a Disney movie RIGHT AFTER you see this one. Or have ice cream, or something...Did I give too much away? Probably. If you see it and get just as depressed as I did, have solace in the fact that the person I went to see the movie with personally knows one of the two executive producers of the film, and promised she'd tell him just how "messed up" a movie he made. Definitely deserving of an Oscar.

Random Jihad Jimmy Synergistic Post

By themselves, a good post would these not have made. But slap these fuckers together, and i'm sure you can find at least one thing to glean from this post...

1) The Second Coming of Crap-On-Your-Bed Girl!
My laborious research yields the following archived posts, although there are probably more out there:

http://sixhertz.blogspot.com/2005/01/bloggus-interruptus.html

(many hours later) I found all of them, although i'd imagine there are stragglers out there... i'm not gonna post them right now because it's friday night and i'm leaving... lemme just make some photocopies...

2) Smokey Mountain Snuff
This recent development in my new habit (new year's resolution, if you will) is far superior to the previous Mint Snuff

Smokey Mountain has a spicier taste and nicer, more cohesive texture. I'm not tooling around in my mouth as much with this one. And it's supposed to have some energy boosting herbal shit? Good deal.

Surprisingly enough, infrequent SHoP reader Trosama min Asi found this at Whelan's Smoke Shop on Bancroft Avenue just across the street from Alma Mater dear. I wouldn't have thought that berkeley hippies were into this, but apparently it's popular for the energy boost-age.

3) altoids speakers
OK this is awesome. I wanna try this now. And you engineers out there, I bet you do too...

But let us not forget the entire generation of kiddies out there who have no freaking idea who MacGyver is. We new, swinging-dick enginers out there owe much of our inspiration to him. And ST:TNG. Most of all Lt. Cmdr. Geordi LaForge.

There. By themselves, those posts would've sucked el burro grande. Put em in a list, though, and they're good to go.

enjoy the weekend, hopefully Sookie St. James pics are to follow,
Jihad Jimmy, Chief Defender of the Faith

I'm moving to Texas for grad school and finding somebody who's there for her MRS degree

Kind of a slow news day, eh?

I tried finding more about social security, what with W taking his show on the road. And nothing at entensity or ernie's house of whoop ass although he's taking submissions for his newest crop of his female readers' two friends.

So I decided to take a page from the Liberal Media and make some news of my own! Kinda like that reporter from Tennessee (?) who told that soldier to ask Rumsfeld about armored humvees just he'd have the scoop on a story. Again, bullshit my friends.

My and my friends constantly lament the dating situation in the SF Bay Area. I'm at somewhat of a disadvantage because I'm Republican, and Bay Aryans really want nothing to do with me. But aside from the psycho GOP-hating hippies out there, Bay Aryan women are nutty enough to drive me to celibacy.

Or at least drastically lowered standards.

I've saved these ads as they expire in 10 days(?), and some of the earlier (here and here) are almost pointless as the ads do not exist. Damn shame, too... Although the Tio Jaime flava is still there, you might be able to slap enough together for a nice sandwich or something...

********KINK & COMMITMENT? ******************
Well, while we here in the SHoP appreciate the pics, probably best not to post pics of you with other men. And this goes for all online dating forums. Not that the SHoP is your internet singles matchmaker.

And enough with the asterisks already. We get it. I myself like to limit my asterisk use to ten.

San Franciscans! Let me love you - 34
Another theme is Physics. This seems to piss me off, as my old roommate was a physics major at berkeley and women weren't knocking down his door. He liked Feynman too... here, read...

He must like Physics, and what would be perfect if he is as creatively naughty as Mr. Feynman; can play piano and violin. It's not necessary for him to be a prize winner. It would be enough that he can play Bach well, play Chopin smoothly.

Umm, yeah. Good luck with that there, HIPPIE. Do you think that any of the fruity girlie-men you like because they're free spirited will have the cojones to major in physics? Damn liberal arts fruits.

And if Bach and Chopin get your panties wet, there's a foulmouthed, cowboy-boot wearing Republican classical pianist who would be able to service you after this post.

You're a Man's Man... Yeah Baby!! - 24
Let's ignore that Austin Powers was a retarded movie halfway through the first one. I would've made it all of the way through, but I hadn't found the wonders of alcohol until three years later.

Now... this one's big....

You're FUNNY! And not necessarily always in a PC nice way. Maybe you're sarcastic, mocking and making fun of others can be amusing (not in an overly rude way... but you get my point) You like funny movies, funny shows, funny people, so on and so forth...

Hey, she asked for it. And really, we're not overly rude. When we get there, ooh yeah, you'll know.

And on a related note, why must women insist that the most important quality they look for in a guy is the ability to make her laugh? This is pure and unadulterated horseshit, skillfully designed to make women look insightful when asked inane questions like "What do you look for in a guy?" The funniest guys i know have no woman. Contrapositively, some of the best women I know are involved with unfunny men.

Do you floss daily??? - 28
Well that was fast. I'm already weirded out.

Oh and yay! She's one of those "no red staters" kinda chicks! Who doesn't go to the dentist. I dunno, I got a bad feeling about this... wish she'd written more, as this would've been gold =(

Any cool professor types out there?
WTF, if you want to date a smart professor than just come right out and say so. I realize you're a woman, but please. Show some balls next time...

African-American Female Seeking Arrangement with Professional Caucasia - 41
...like this one here!

This one is pretty simple. "You pay my bills, I spread my legs." I go to the University of Whore-lando. And I Really Like the Whole Idea of Capitalization and Long-Winded Sentences and by "Take Care of Your Needs" I Actually Mean "Have Sex with You." Wink, Wink.

For monetary consideration. Whore City!

In her defense, the SHoP appreciates her candor and honesty. HFS, she's 41?!? I just saw that! Really now, wouldn't you rather, provided that you were a quasi-altruistic man with money to throw away, engage in a "mutually benificial arrangement" with somebody, oh i don't know... UNDER 40?!?

Instead of one 41 year old, why not two 20-1/2 year olds??? Is that really too much to ask?

The stars at night are big and bright,
Jihad Jimmy, Chief Defender of the Faith

Yay for hypocrites with amazingly short and selective memories!

Listening to Brian Sussman's show on KSFO right after the SOTU...

He too heard the Democruds whining after W started talking about Social Security going under...

"Today, Social Security is strong, but by 2013, payroll taxes will no longer be sufficient to cover monthly payments. By 2032, the trust fund will be exhausted and Social Security will be unable to pay the full benefits older Americans have been promised."

Oh man, they didn't like that.

OH WAIT, THAT WASN'T BUSH. THAT WAS A VERBATIM QUOTE OF THEIR OWN BELOVED PRESIDENT CLINTON WHO SAID THAT IN HIS STATE OF THE UNION BACK IN 1999.

Here's what W said, just about an hour ago...

"Thirteen years from now, in 2018, Social Security will be paying out more than it takes in. And every year afterward will bring a new shortfall, bigger than the year before. For example, in the year 2027, the government will somehow have to come up with an extra 200 billion dollars to keep the system afloat — and by 2033, the annual shortfall would be more than 300 billion dollars. By the year 2042, the entire system would be exhausted and bankrupt. If steps are not taken to avert that outcome, the only solutions would be drastically higher taxes, massive new borrowing, or sudden and severe cuts in Social Security benefits or other government programs."

I call bullshit. Goddam fucktard Democruds weren't moaning back in 19-fucking-99. You wanna talk about the politics of division? You wanna talk about partisan politics? Well the numbers clearly show that they sit on the Left side of the aisle.

And don't fucking argue numbers with me. Unless you're SixH. And even then, ain't no fucking way that MIT math is gonna be able to dispute the similarity with Bush in 2005 and Clinton in 1999.

Get some!
Jihad Jimmy, Chief Defender of the Faith

Update: Here is the transcript of President Clinton's 1999 State of the Union, since some of you are interested.

SHoP Talk

For those of you just joining us... Just a long-overdue introduction to who we are:

A very big hello from SixHertz and Tio Jaime. Welcome to the SixHertz House of Pain.

For the most part you'll find the rants and raves of two twenty-something uber-conservative, Catholic Republicans who want little more than for those who have promised (twice, in some cases) they would leave upon George W. Bush winning the presidency (twice, we're happy to remind) to pack their bags with their complaints and gripes and head to Canada already. Door. Your ass. No hit.

SixH and Tio J have known each other since kindergarten in northern California, about an hour south of Nancy Pelo-suck's congressional district. Went to rival Catholic high schools in Silicon Valley, which got them into two of the toughest engineering programs in the nation-- no you know what? Credit where credit is due... "two of the toughest engineering programs in the world." Yeah that's right, baby, feel the burn. (IHTFP, go bears)

SixH is in the Navy in lovely reddish San Diego, Tio J in construction in the ultra-blue Bay Area. Sometime last year, and conveniently before the election (and who won? we weren't really paying attention that night...) SixH extended the invitation to Tio J to come blog on the SHoP.

And that's really where we stand right now. It's a cool Good-Cop-Bad-Cop vibe. Try it. You'll like it. There's the not-so-occassional rant, clever cuss words that we'll attempt to pass off as proper English as we are products of a fine, private Catholic education, some surprisingly intellectual political analysis (from one of two bona fide engineers, mind you), wacky banter in chat form, nice and normal show-your-grandma pics, some WTF pics, and a protest. Here, more banter.

Oh, and don't let the pieces linked above fool you. Normally SixHertz is the Good Cop who doesn't swear (as much), and well, Tio Jaime enjoys toeing the SHoP line every now and then. We're trying to keep him focused here, and any help you could render would be much appreciated.

Thanks for stopping by, enjoy your stay here at the SHoP,
SixHertz and Tio Jaime

Just plain tacky

OK, during Clinton's State of the Union addresses? I don't remember Republicans collectively groaning when they heard something they didn't like.

That's called tact.

You could have heard me several doors down, true, but I'm pretty sure Republicans in the House Chamber didn't start whining and moaning.

Please, and this is sincere, correct me if I'm wrong.

It's so farfetched, HFS, it's working right now as you read this!

I'm somewhat ashamed to say that I too fell victim to this media trap that really can only be attributed to the LIbEralS. (you like that there? pretty cool huh? check this one out: conserTRUTHvative. kinda trippy, huh?)

So everybody is abuzz about this GI Joe thing, as every blog I've come across today was talking about it. Save one. And even then, the galvin opinion slipped it in right under the radar...

I'm gonna go ahead and theorize that it was the LIbEralS who staged that pic, hax0red into an islam-o-site, and let the blogosphere run with what is quite the amusing story. This story is totally eclipsing what we right-minded should be moistening our panties about: The State of the Union!

Oh yes kids, I totally forgot. Until the Galvin Opinion reminded me. Funny-assed post, even mentions Nancy Pelo-suck. Who I've always maintained kinda looks like...

**shudders**

Creepy huh?

Well, yes. Go watch the State of the Union. Last year when i watched, i broke out the pistachios and peanuts and watched in lovely Oakland, CA and cheered like it was a baseball game. Then my in-the-closet-democrat roommate changed it when I wasn't looking. He didn't like the Fox News broadcast.

hopefully i can leave work before the president comes on the air. i've been blogging and commenting all day, i should be here late...

Jihad Jimmy, Chief Defender of the Faith

Okay, what did you expect, you dumbtard?

Here's a quarter. Go buy yourself a ticket on the short bus. Dumbass Sunni clerics....Next time you call for a boycott of your own elections, don't complain afterwards that they were illegitimate. That's just plain stupid.

Sunni Clerics Call Iraqi Elections Illegitimate

At least the Democruds vote before they call elections illegitimate.

See?! See what we mean when we say Democruds are hypocrites!?!?

Party of tolerance, huh? You hate me and everything I stand for? Wow. Strong words. Let's see if you can tolerate my foot 3/4ths the way up your ass.

Dean's howling to lead DNC
BY MAGGIE HABERMAN

HOWARD DEAN, THE favorite to be the next head of the Democratic National Committee, made his case in midtown yesterday, promising to make his party operate more like the GOP - at least when it comes to elections.

"I hate the Republicans and everything they stand for, but I admire their discipline and their organization," the failed presidential hopeful told the crowd at the Roosevelt Hotel, where he and six other candidates spoke at the final DNC forum before the Feb. 12 vote for chairman.

But Dean said the Democrats should not change their beliefs to be "Republican lite."

"We can talk about our faith, but we cannot change our faith," he said, echoing themes he sounded in his presidential bid. "We need to be people of conviction."

Later, he said that what "95% of Americans are really concerned about" is national security. But he said Americans also do not want to sacrifice the nation's values. "They want America to be the moral leader of the world again," he said.

Dean came into the event riding a fresh wave of momentum. A day earlier, he was endorsed for the top Democratic spot by Clinton ally Harold Ickes amid speculation over whether Bill and Hillary Clinton would try to block Dean.

Ickes, who briefly considered running for the DNC chairmanship himself, said he was not speaking for the Clintons, but it was a sign the former First Couple won't oppose Dean, who would be chairman for any run Hillary makes at the White House.

Also vying for the seat are grass-roots activist Donnie Fowler, former Texas Rep. Martin Frost, 9/11 commission member Tim Roemer, Simon Rosenberg, former Denver Mayor Wellington Webb and lawyer David Leland.

Dean looks like he is soon going to get the honors of a GFY day.

Hat Tip: Captain's Quarters

Kickin' it old skool with some dope-assed anti-Clinton Re-pizz-nublic-izzm aww yeah represent NIGGA

AWESOME fucking post over at antiprotestor journal!!! Reminds me of my hardcore Republican days...

1) while my social contemporaries back in the 90s were into hardcore gangsta rap and the hippity-hop, I was into uncle Newt Gingrich's orphanage-mobile. hardcore, baby. see the post title? come step to my shit, bee-yotch! I'm gonna straight up RUIN your shit, jimmy-style
2) Ahem. All smack aside, this post was in the antiprotestor Greatest Hits collection. No wonder why, check it out... (i'll post a brief snippet because you're all too lazy to shift-click a link to open in a new window. ooh, you like dat? Mac-boy knows his way around shitty MS internets explorer)

Clinton Library Dedication = Sham

The Clinton legacy is one of selfishness in public service, cowardice in the face of brutality, brutality in the face of cowardice, calculated expediency, and the greatest irony of all - "feeling your pain" while causing it.

not to take the wind out of somebody's sails, but this is some really good shit here, and there's more at the post.

As examples, he is the first rapist to receive over 75% of the feminist vote, and the first American leader implicated in the deaths of Jews to receive over 75% of the Jewish vote.

So naturally, some libber commented... not very well though (Shit, this is so hilarious, i gotta publish this at regular size so you don't think you're seeing things...)

This is so friggin silly that there is no time, space to answer point for point. Your dislkike of Democrats is clearly visible...If Clinto a true enemy of Israel, then he would have cut off all aid. Fact: Bush badmouthed many ILsraeli reprisals and at same time has been sending money to PLO (yes)...All American presidents have supported Israel but have put American self-interest as nuymber one priority. As for Clinto as American presidenbt: we had balenced budget, good economy etc...and now? shit.
- fred lapides

So ever the good citizen of Tio Jaime Nation, I posted the following in response...

Are you retarded, Fred? Clinton couldn't cut aid to Israel because of the contradictory ties the Jewish community has to the Democruddy Party.

oh, and here's Bush effectively hogtying our Israeli friends by dictating to them foreign policy:

Bush: Israel ‘Must Not Feel Constrained’ in Self-Defense

Here's the best you'll be able to do. Bush calls Israeli responses a "temporary measure". doesn't castigate it.
Ooh. Here you go. Your fellow socialists, but they're flat out taking an ideological dump on your whole "bush as friend of PLO" theory. Enjoy.

And honestly. Who among us doesn't love NASCAR? wouldn't let this mangling of our beloved English language go unmentioned?

Oh, and yoo spel reel gewd, to.

THE LEFT PREYS ON YOUR STUPIDITY

Jihad Jimmy, Chief Defender of the Faith

Like shooting gift horses in a barrel. No, here you go... If wishes were gift horses, beggars would look at fish in a riding barrel and then shoot themselves in their mouths.

Hope this clears up any confusion.

Jihad Jimmy, Chief Defender of the Faith,
aka Tio Jaime, G/H Chick enthusiast,
aka The Notorious J.A.M.E.S.

Liberal Left Admits They Could Be Wrong!

I wouldn't have believed it had I not seen it with my own eyes. I have to give this columnist credit: Despite the fact he's got a skewed liberal belief structure, he at least has the balls to admit he could be wrong. And that's more than I've seen from most liberals.

What if Bush has been right about Iraq all along?
February 1, 2005
BY MARK BROWN SUN-TIMES COLUMNIST
Maybe you're like me and have opposed the Iraq war since before the shooting started -- not to the point of joining any peace protests, but at least letting people know where you stood.

You didn't change your mind when our troops swept quickly into Baghdad or when you saw the rabble that celebrated the toppling of the Saddam Hussein statue, figuring that little had been accomplished and that the tough job still lay ahead.

Despite your misgivings, you didn't demand the troops be brought home immediately afterward, believing the United States must at least try to finish what it started to avoid even greater bloodshed. And while you cheered Saddam's capture, you couldn't help but thinking I-told-you-so in the months that followed as the violence continued to spread and the death toll mounted.

By now, you might have even voted against George Bush -- a second time -- to register your disapproval.

But after watching Sunday's election in Iraq and seeing the first clear sign that freedom really may mean something to the Iraqi people, you have to be asking yourself: What if it turns out Bush was right, and we were wrong? It's hard to swallow, isn't it?

Americans cross own barrier

If you fit the previously stated profile, I know you're fighting the idea, because I am, too. And if you were with the president from the start, I've already got your blood boiling.

For those who've been in the same boat with me, we don't need to concede the point just yet. There's a long way to go. But I think we have to face the possibility. I won't say that it had never occurred to me previously, but it's never gone through my mind as strongly as when I watched the television coverage from Iraq that showed long lines of people risking their lives by turning out to vote, honest looks of joy on so many of their faces.

Some CNN guest expert was opining Monday that the Iraqi people crossed a psychological barrier by voting and getting a taste of free choice (setting aside the argument that they only did so under orders from their religious leaders).

I think it's possible that some of the American people will have crossed a psychological barrier as well.

Deciding democracy's worth

On the other side of that barrier is a concept some of us have had a hard time swallowing: Maybe the United States really can establish a peaceable democratic government in Iraq, and if so, that would be worth something. Would it be worth all the money we've spent? Certainly. Would it be worth all the lives that have been lost? That's the more difficult question, and while I reserve judgment on that score until such a day arrives, it seems probable that history would answer yes to that as well. I don't want to get carried away in the moment.

Going to war still sent so many terrible messages to the world. Most of the obstacles to success in Iraq are all still there, the ones that have always led me to believe that we would eventually be forced to leave the country with our tail tucked between our legs. (I've maintained from the start that if you were impressed by the demonstrations in the streets of Baghdad when we arrived, wait until you see how they celebrate our departure, no matter the circumstances.)

In and of itself, the voting did nothing to end the violence. The forces trying to regain the power they have lost -- and the outside elements supporting them -- will be no less determined to disrupt our efforts and to drive us out.

Somebody still has to find a way to bring the Sunnis into the political process before the next round of elections at year's end. The Iraqi government still must develop the capacity to protect its people.

And there seems every possibility that this could yet end in civil war the day we leave or with Iraq becoming an Islamic state every bit as hostile to our national interests as was Saddam.

Penance could be required

But on Sunday, we caught a glimpse of the flip side. We could finally see signs that a majority of the Iraqi people perceive something to be gained from this brave new world we are forcing on them. Instead of making the elections a further expression of "Yankee Go Home," their participation gave us hope that all those soldiers haven't died in vain.

Obviously, I'm still curious to see if Bush is willing to allow the Iraqis to install a government that is free to kick us out or to oppose our other foreign policy efforts in the region. So is the rest of the world.

For now, though, I think we have to cut the president some slack about a timetable for his exit strategy.

If it turns out Bush was right all along, this is going to require some serious penance.

Maybe I'd have to vote Republican in 2008.

And I might have to buy this guy a beer in 2008. Stay tuned. I'm sure he's gonna get flak from his liberal butt-buddies for this editorial.

Did you ever find Bugs Bunny attractive when he'd put on a dress and act like a girl bunny?

Oh man, I crack myself up... if you change your profile on unkymoods.com to female, then you get different icons!

My two favorite ones, the Chillin' ice cube and the Thirsty cactus have female variations, each with a cute little bow. Which as we all know means "chick".

On that note, I'm going to the Zoo tonight. One of the new favorites is celebrating her birthday on thursday. So tonight is her last night in her 20s. She turns 30, but has the distinction of looking younger than 21.

Tunak tunak,
Jihad Jimmy, Chief Defender of the Faith

Cool/weird/HAWT shit from hotsaucelive

check out hotsaucelive.com when you get a chance...

Hey there, othiffer! (hic) Aren't you glad I had theeth fine beerth in my (hic) car??
Is it wrong to be aroused by this?

And finally a hotsaucelive joke...

A woman was shopping at her local supermarket where she selected
a half pint of milk
a carton of eggs,
a quart of orange juice,
a head of romaine lettuce,
a 2 lb. can of coffee,
and a 1 lb. package of bacon.
As she was unloading her items on the conveyor belt to check out, a drunk standing behind her watched as she placed the items in front of the cashier.

While the cashier was ringing up her purchases, the drunk calmly stated,

"You must be single."

The woman was a bit startled by this proclamation, but she was intrigued by his intuition, since she was indeed single. She looked at her six items on the belt and saw nothing particularly unusual about her selections that could have tipped off the drunk to her marital status.

Curiosity getting the better of her, she said "Well, you know what, you're absolutely correct. But how on earth did you know that?"

The drunk replied, "Cause you're ugly."

Nice Try, Assholes

Here's the link to the original story.

Okay, so here we have some problems with this picture:
1. Is that a cinder block behind him?
2. Why is the terrorist "holding" an M-16 and not an AK-47?
3. That flag looks an awful lot like a tiny piece of cheaply dyed cloth, doesn't it?

So, in 72 hours, should we expect to see the guy's head "decapitated"? Maybe we'll see some Haaji ketchup as a stage prop, too.

Bloggers: 2
MSM: 0

Ridiculous.

Hat Tip: Wizbang

Five for Grace

Just got this voice mail from an old friend of mine. She left here last year on my birthday.

We all miss her dearly and as such, toast her regularly.

New Message Tuesday 11:01am

"Hi, James. [UPDATE date="20040627"]D******[/UPDATE]. This is Grace [CENSORED]. I'm just calling to say hello, checking on some old friends, umm and, you were like number one on my list, so umm, gimme a call when you get a chance. I just wanted to call and say hi and see how you're doing. Alright? Talk to you later. Bye!"

I'm drinking Fernet Branca tonight.